1 00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:03,960 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,353 This city is an assault on my senses. 3 00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:06,310 [screams] - Who the hell is 4 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:07,572 - Galvan/ - Powell Group? 5 00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:09,400 You have no idea who you are dealing with. 6 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,011 Constellation Ursa Major. 7 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,056 That is where we will find Goliath. 8 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,189 People already think Patience is a murder town. 9 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:17,669 You want them to think it's an alien town too? 10 00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:19,889 Jessup is trying to build a five-star resort. 11 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,238 Who says it's gotta be Jessup? 12 00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:23,110 That Grady property up on the ridge 13 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:24,720 is beggin' to be developed. 14 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,330 I think you're pregnant. 15 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:27,810 When you're ready, it'll be there. 16 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,507 - Dr. Smallwood-- - He's trying to fire you. 17 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:31,292 And now we officially have no doctor. 18 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,120 Dr. Vanderspeigle is our only real candidate. 19 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,296 He has a birthday comin' up. 20 00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,472 The alien we went to see was dead. 21 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,517 Goliath held out for as long as he could. 22 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,911 - But he gave birth to an egg. - No! 23 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,173 And now it's in Harry's bag. 24 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,088 Do you even know when it will hatch? 25 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,133 all: Surprise! 26 00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:49,049 [suspenseful music] 27 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:56,186 ♪ 28 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:14,204 So where is this alien ball, 29 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:17,033 and how do I know that video wasn't a fake? 30 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,556 You're gonna have to trust me. 31 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,820 Last time I saw you, I was going to have you killed. 32 00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:24,823 Seems like trusting you is moving backwards. 33 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,738 ♪ 34 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,697 I want to see it. 35 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:35,660 ♪ 36 00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:43,233 What do you want? 37 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:48,325 I give you the ball, I get my life back-- 38 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:51,415 honorable discharge, full pension. 39 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,156 Nobody trying to-- [gunshot] 40 00:01:53,200 --> 00:02:00,337 ♪ 41 00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:11,957 [Brown Bird's "Bilgewater" plays] 42 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:18,964 ♪ 43 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,575 Get out of my house! 44 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:23,534 Happy Birthday, Dr. Vanderspeigle. 45 00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,362 Glad to have you back in Patience. 46 00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:27,625 Wow, Harry. It's a surprise party. 47 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,758 That's right. Honoring the birthday 48 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,239 of one of our town's most esteemed residents, 49 00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:33,544 Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle. 50 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:35,807 Here's to another trip around the Sun, Dr. V. 51 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,679 By the way, the break and enter was Ben's idea. 52 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,290 Ah, now, now. No breaking, just entering. 53 00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,552 The door was unlocked. 54 00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:42,814 Yeah, after you climbed through the window 55 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:44,033 and unlocked it. 56 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:46,166 Out of respect for our wonderful friend-- 57 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,168 nay, our partner, really-- 58 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:51,040 who deserves to be celebrated for, if nothing else, 59 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,346 his kindness. 60 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:55,566 You are all trespassing and should be in prison. 61 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,741 [laughter] 62 00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,308 - He's jokin'. - No he's not. 63 00:02:58,352 --> 00:02:59,788 Thanks for the heads-up. 64 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,311 I wasn't invited. I'm just hungry. 65 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:02,486 Here, let me grab this for you. 66 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,009 No! I can put that away! 67 00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:05,185 Ah, no way. 68 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,708 No worrying about luggage for you. 69 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:09,841 Whoa, close call there. [chuckles] 70 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,148 All right, let's get the festivities started. 71 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,499 I do not like having people at my house uninvited. 72 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:17,632 Well, now you know how Earth felt when you got here. 73 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,374 Okay, I'll get rid of everyone. 74 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,027 Just take that thing downstairs. 75 00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:24,247 Only half of it is "thing." 76 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,031 The other half is alien. 77 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:29,034 [dramatic music] 78 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,558 Sure. 79 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,951 Oh, Dr. Vanderspeigle, how was your trip? 80 00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,084 I heard you went to a medical conference in New York. 81 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,521 Yes, I went to an art party, 82 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:40,481 and took illegal drugs. - [laughs] 83 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,265 You know, I went to an art party once. 84 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,701 Well, it wasn't an art party. 85 00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:44,920 It was--I guess you could call that art-- 86 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,269 Do you have a pet spider? 87 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,010 Because it's in your hair. - What? 88 00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,011 - Yeah. - [screams] 89 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,969 - Oh. - No, no, no. 90 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,319 No. No. - Yes. 91 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,320 Where is it? 92 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,191 It is gone now. 93 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,106 What? [door clicks shut] 94 00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:59,761 [panting] Mm-mm. Nope. 95 00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:06,158 ♪ 96 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,290 So when you gonna ask Dr. V 97 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,336 to be the town doctor, Ben? 98 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,729 I don't know what you're talking about. 99 00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,383 Come on, man. This is what this is all about. 100 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:14,819 You're wooing him. Look. 101 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,995 Word of advice: get him drunk before you ask him. 102 00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,388 It'll help smooth the woo. 103 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,955 I'm just showing appreciation. 104 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,826 There's--there's no woo. 105 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,263 Hey, Ben. 106 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,743 Thanks for pulling all this together. 107 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,485 Um, Harry's not really feeling very well, 108 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,139 so maybe we could do this another night. 109 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,836 Ah, can't. 110 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,709 It's a special night for Harry, and if he's not feeling well, 111 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:37,233 then by golly, we will nurse him back to health 112 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,234 together as a town. 113 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,322 We're stayin'. 114 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,455 [sniffs] Woo... 115 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,239 ♪ 116 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,675 - Ben, that's very-- - Excuse me. 117 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,026 Kay. An alien baby kills you, 118 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,941 it's not my fault. 119 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:52,901 ♪ 120 00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:55,947 I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. 121 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,515 Everyone who is alive has been born. 122 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:00,125 It is not special. 123 00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:03,346 A birthday party is just a participation trophy. 124 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522 [sighs] 125 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:08,960 It's my grandmother's secret deviled egg recipe. 126 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,746 I snuck into her desk and stole it when I was ten. 127 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,356 She's hated me ever since. 128 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,750 Mmm. Well, these are insane. 129 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,709 I mean, it's horrible to lose your grandmother, but worth it. 130 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,059 Last Christmas, she said she hopes she dies soon 131 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:24,236 so she can haunt me and steal my soul. 132 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,064 She holds a grudge. 133 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:29,372 Mm, not for me. I'm not a fan of yolk mixtures 134 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:32,157 or having my soul taken by an angry ghost. 135 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,289 Just try one. 136 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,247 I would, but I said no. 137 00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:39,164 ♪ Know that I'll be coming right back ♪ 138 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,644 ♪ Tomorrow's dream 139 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,429 Fine, yeah. I'll, uh, have a bite. 140 00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:47,608 ♪ 141 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,740 Oh, my God. Mmm. 142 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:52,352 It's a delicate farm in my mouth. 143 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:54,310 Mmm. - No. 144 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,877 You doubted them. - I didn't doubt it. 145 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,139 You don't deserve a second one. 146 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,706 - No, I do. - The second one 147 00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,055 is even better somehow. 148 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,752 It's like I can taste the farmer's wife 149 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,319 calling her family in for supper, like... 150 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,190 [inhales] Mmm. 151 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,410 "Comin', Mama." 152 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:08,977 Mmm. 153 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,674 "I'm comin'." 154 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,634 But I wanna taste farm supper... 155 00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:18,116 - What did you do with it? - It is in the bunker. 156 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,335 It is safe. 157 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,858 Glad the alien in the cellar is safe. 158 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:23,426 Harry, what if it hatches down there? 159 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:28,039 Mm, alien babies have a big appetite 160 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:32,087 for high-calorie junky food. - Uh-huh. 161 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:35,395 There's nothing more junky than a human. 162 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,614 We are in danger. 163 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:38,876 We have to get everyone out of here. 164 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,487 - [groans] - Make yourself look sick. 165 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,531 Oh, that's good. 166 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,446 Yes. Good. 167 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,448 I have not done anything yet. 168 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,841 Oh. 169 00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:48,799 Sorry. 170 00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,410 It's good, though. - [growls] 171 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,239 Oh, there he is! 172 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:57,895 all: ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 173 00:06:57,939 --> 00:07:05,120 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 174 00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,252 ♪ Which nobody can deny 175 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,558 All right. 176 00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,908 You think I am a good fellow? 177 00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:11,822 And jolly. 178 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,737 And so sick... sick. - Mm. 179 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:17,219 Sick... of being alone, maybe. 180 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,350 It's your birthday. 181 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,656 It is your special day. 182 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,484 All this is for you. 183 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,659 Plus, cake. 184 00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,922 If, uh, Jay ever shows up with it. 185 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:25,880 Can it be pie? 186 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:26,924 - No. - Pie it is. 187 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,884 I feel better! You can stay. 188 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,668 You sure, Doc? You still look kind of pale. 189 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,931 It is my Dutch skin. 190 00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,760 You hear that everyone? Our good cheer has cured him. 191 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,501 I'm gonna get that pie for you. - Mm-hmm. 192 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,894 Great. I have enough eggs to last 193 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,765 all night, but we may need more ice, 194 00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,637 because if they don't stay chilled, they go south fast. 195 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,552 I got you, Deputy. You got ice down 196 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,509 in that meat freezer of yours, right? 197 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,685 Do not go down there. 198 00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:52,167 The floor's cracked, and if you step on it, 199 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,996 you'll break your mama's back. Here. 200 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,132 - What'd he say about my mama? - [sighs] 201 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,526 Today is all about celebrating 202 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,441 the birth of a man I murdered 203 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,530 and threw in the frozen lake. 204 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,925 Ice seems appropriate. [sniffs] 205 00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,404 Sulfur. 206 00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:15,495 [suspenseful music] 207 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:22,632 ♪ 208 00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:24,982 Hello? 209 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,897 ♪ 210 00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:27,942 Oh... 211 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,383 [sighs] 212 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,125 - Hmm. - Wow, soda. 213 00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,257 You handling heavy machinery later? 214 00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,694 Right, you were out of town. We haven't talked. 215 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,304 I stopped drinking. 216 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,392 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 217 00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:44,872 - Since when? - 1:00. 218 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,569 - Last night? - This afternoon. 219 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,266 You gotta start somewhere. - [chuckles] 220 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,311 You know, been eating healthy... 221 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:50,617 getting back in shape. 222 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,619 Oh! I even started going to the gym again. 223 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:53,794 Wow, I love that. 224 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,012 Feels pretty good. 225 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,405 - [clears throat] - Hey, 226 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,234 still waiting on a invite to come here tonight. 227 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,410 Email not a thing anymore? 228 00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,020 [whispers] Open wide. 229 00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,108 - Hey hun. - Hey. 230 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:05,414 You, uh, having fun? 231 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,242 Yeah. Um, are they gonna do 232 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,157 anything about that sulfur smell? 233 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,550 [whispers] I'm gonna barf. 234 00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:13,727 I don't smell anything. [chuckles] 235 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,555 Hey, uh, remember when you were pregnant, 236 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,992 and you had that sense of smell like a superhero? 237 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,950 Hope you're not pregnant. [chuckles] 238 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,778 Could you imagine? - [laughs] 239 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,171 Yeah, right? 240 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,346 [smacks lips] Mmm, I'm gonna get 241 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:25,826 some sweet gherkins. You want anything? 242 00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,131 Oh, sure don't. 243 00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,787 Sure don't. 244 00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:31,962 This is a problem. 245 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,442 Even at birth, my alien kind 246 00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,357 is very strong and agile. 247 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,838 That thing could be anywhere by now. 248 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:41,450 If it were a fully human baby, it would be much easier. 249 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:44,148 Human infants are the only mammal whose main attribute 250 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,497 is helplessly flopping. 251 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:46,847 [metal clanking] 252 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,457 Need some help with that ice down there, Doc? 253 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,501 No. 254 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:52,548 I am good at ice-carrying. 255 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,723 [metal clanks] 256 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:04,865 You sure? I'll come down and help. 257 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,344 No, no! 258 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,477 I want to carry it myself. 259 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,740 Ice feels good on my nipples. 260 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,702 Thanks, Doc. Damn, you smell like sulfur. 261 00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,617 What, you have an outhouse party down there? 262 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,618 No. 263 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,402 It is not sulfur. [chuckles] 264 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,143 What are you, crazy? 265 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:25,363 It is the deputy's eggs. They are stinky. 266 00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:26,669 Well, that makes sense. 267 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,497 Yeah, those things are delicious but deadly. 268 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,674 You gotta stop at two, or it's like eating a butt gun. 269 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,808 I would not fire a gun made out of butts. 270 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,857 The mayonnaise is homemade, and I mix the yolks by hand. 271 00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,337 - Mm. - And I don't use 272 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,861 canola oil like most people. 273 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,167 The key is olive oil. 274 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,212 It really brings out the eggy flavor. 275 00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:51,389 Mm. Yum. 276 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,434 Just... excuse me. - Okay. 277 00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:55,176 - Just one second. - Okay. 278 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:59,267 ♪ 279 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,008 [coughs] 280 00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:05,708 [sighs] 281 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,754 [soft music] 282 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,930 ♪ And I'm sorry for all I've taken ♪ 283 00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:13,063 ♪ And I'm sorry for all I've let loose ♪ 284 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,196 ♪ 285 00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:18,895 ♪ I wanna be true 286 00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:22,725 ♪ I wanna be forgiven 287 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,292 ♪ 288 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:28,252 ♪ For givin' up 289 00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:31,952 ♪ On everything I knew 290 00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,041 ♪ 291 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,869 ♪ I wanna be true 292 00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,784 I'm serious. If you're wearing nurse scrubs 293 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,611 and you're running, stores will pretty much 294 00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:42,963 let you take anything for free. Uh-huh. 295 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,487 Yeah. Of course. 296 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,707 No, sorry, anything. 297 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,666 Okay, so I marked all the military installations 298 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,668 where they could be holding the alien ball. 299 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,671 I circled the underground ones nobody knows about. 300 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,456 Ben's throwing a surprise birthday party for Dr. V., 301 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,936 but he's just doing that to trick him 302 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,764 into being town doctor again. 303 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,635 It's this big secret. 304 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,247 Yeah. I told everyone. 305 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,031 Town doctor? 306 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,554 What happened to Dr. Ethan? 307 00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,687 He left town the night the Men in Black were here. 308 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,080 You mean the night you told the Men in Black 309 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,342 Dr. Ethan was the alien? 310 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,560 Yeah, that night. 311 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,519 Guess Dr. Ethan just didn't like it here. 312 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:22,524 - Is your brain in your butt? - I hope not. 313 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,656 Don't you realize what happened? 314 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,789 The Men in Black took Dr. Ethan. 315 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,791 As soon as they figure out he's human, 316 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,706 they'll know the alien is still in Patience 317 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,360 and come back looking for him. 318 00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,797 We have to go to that party and warn Asta. 319 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,365 How? We have a babysitter. 320 00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,064 We'll get her to fall asleep. 321 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,631 I know what to do. 322 00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:45,939 Same way my Aunt Azadeh conks out when she visits. 323 00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:49,377 - Sleeping pills? - No... 324 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:52,380 calm-voiced nature videos. 325 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,556 [suspicious music] 326 00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:55,949 What you gonna do with all them pickles? 327 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,428 Uh, those are not pickles. 328 00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:58,821 Those are sweet gherkins, 329 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,214 or, uh, cornichons. 330 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,694 Did you just correct me on how to say a pickle? 331 00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:05,959 No. I'm just sayin'. 332 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,788 I'm gonna get some punch. 333 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,833 Hey, how's the punch? - It fell. 334 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,793 What? 335 00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:19,799 What? 336 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,064 Oh, no. - Huh? 337 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,543 I didn't-- 338 00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:35,597 [dramatic music] 339 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,426 It's pretty, huh? 340 00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,950 Yeah, it's amazing. 341 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,169 I used to spend a lot of time here 342 00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,344 when you were dating Harry. 343 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,737 Oh, yeah. I wouldn't call it dating. 344 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,565 It was really more of a drive-by. [chuckles] 345 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,309 So any exciting news? 346 00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:53,658 No, I haven't taken the test yet. 347 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:58,968 If I take the test and it's positive, 348 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,883 then I'm pregnant. 349 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:02,842 Yeah, that's not how it works. 350 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,845 ♪ 351 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,848 You know, I was just talking to Harry about New York. 352 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,893 All I could think about was how exciting it would be 353 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,764 to live there, you know? 354 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:16,594 The art shows, the theatre, all of it. 355 00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,901 Why can't that be my life? 356 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,294 I don't know. Why can't it? 357 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:22,252 Because I'm stuck here, 358 00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,819 pushing out babies like a stray dog. 359 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,995 Ugh... the ones with all the nipples? 360 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,911 - So many nipples. - Huge, huge nipples. 361 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,871 You adopt one, it turns over. Nipple. 362 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:34,874 [sighs] 363 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:38,878 ♪ 364 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,488 Come on. 365 00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,142 Let's go pee on a stick. 366 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,447 Hold your breath. 367 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:44,753 Liv just brought out a new tray of eggs. 368 00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:48,975 Ugh. 369 00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:51,629 The size of the bull elk's antlers 370 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:55,329 depends on how much sunlight the elk gets. 371 00:14:55,372 --> 00:15:01,204 Here, this elk basks in the warm rays of the midday sun. 372 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:05,687 A full-sized male's antlers can grow up to an inch per day 373 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,341 during the summer months. 374 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:10,344 They're typically fully grown by mid-August. 375 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,433 If he is able to-- 376 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:13,521 Hey! 377 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:14,652 Where are you going? 378 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:15,958 - Bike ride? - Taking out the garbage! 379 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,917 Just come home before your parents get back. 380 00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,529 No drugs! 381 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:24,575 - She's a horrible babysitter. - Yeah. 382 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:33,454 [ominous music] 383 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:38,328 ♪ 384 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,503 Ooh... 385 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:40,983 [sizzling] 386 00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:48,164 ♪ 387 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,211 What the hell? 388 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:56,216 Hmm. 389 00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,308 - Harry? - No, just me. 390 00:16:01,351 --> 00:16:03,223 Just me in here peein'. - Sorry. 391 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,704 God, I can't hold the stick. My hand's shaking too much. 392 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:07,923 Okay, give it to me. 393 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:08,880 I'll hold it. I'll hold it. 394 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,012 - You sure? - Yeah. 395 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,579 Okay, it's in position. Go. 396 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,886 And you just pissed on my hand. 397 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:22,024 ♪ 398 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:25,027 [knocking] 399 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,639 There you are. What are you doing? 400 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,687 I am enjoying my birthday candy. 401 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,256 Have you checked on the egg? 402 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,735 'Cause if there's any chance that it will hatch, 403 00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,563 we have to get everyone out of this party right now. 404 00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:42,131 The party cannot end. There is pie coming. 405 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:44,090 Do not worry. The baby will not hatch. 406 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:48,007 It is definitely still inside of its shell. 407 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,574 [quirky music] 408 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:51,923 Nowhere else! 409 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,577 Okay. It's still a party, though, 410 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,057 so you can't just hide in the bedroom, 411 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,712 or people will be suspicious. - Mm. 412 00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:58,930 Come talk to someone, 413 00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,149 and don't be weird. 414 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,718 [whispers] And here we go. 415 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:07,200 I will talk to Dan because he has food. 416 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,290 And that is not weird. 417 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,684 Hi, Dan. 418 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:19,168 Here is some money for my meal, 419 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:23,868 and I'll also take a side of fries at the table. 420 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,828 [radio music playing] 421 00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:33,139 ♪ 422 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,101 Really sorry about that. 423 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:40,885 Oh, don't worry. 424 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,800 I've been peed on before. 425 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,106 I have too. 426 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,803 I kind of like it. 427 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:48,502 I was talking about a frog I picked up when I was a kid. 428 00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:49,633 Yeah, frogs. 429 00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:50,591 Me too. 430 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,420 [device chimes] - Oh. 431 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:54,377 Time's up. 432 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:01,515 Shit. 433 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:07,999 [sighs] 434 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,567 [weakly] Congratulations. 435 00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:12,308 You gonna tell Ben the good news? 436 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,005 Not until I'm convinced it's good news. 437 00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,964 [dramatic music] 438 00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,662 Why? If you get overwhelmed, 439 00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:21,274 just think back on a time when life was simple, 440 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,666 and you were just a woman 441 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,015 pissin' on another woman. 442 00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,756 [laughs] 443 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,454 You got this, Hawthorne. 444 00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:29,064 [laughs] 445 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,936 [Logan Staats' "Vampires" plays] 446 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,329 ♪ Please darlin' 447 00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:37,464 ♪ Take mercy on my broken heart, yeah ♪ 448 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:40,119 ♪ And take my soul if you want what's left of it ♪ 449 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,337 You're not gonna believe it. 450 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:44,514 Eugena Plunkett came in, saying she saw a UFO 451 00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:47,430 a couple of months ago in Patience. 452 00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:50,520 Can you imagine? - That seems... crazy. 453 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:53,306 Remember that camping trip when we were kids, 454 00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:56,918 like when Ben saw something, and he ran, and everyone 455 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:59,355 followed him, and I stayed back by the fire? 456 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,704 Yeah, I think so. 457 00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:03,838 But he didn't see anything, right? 458 00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:05,274 - No. - No. 459 00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:08,059 Yeah. No. 460 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:09,191 But I did. 461 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:11,976 Really? 462 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,152 What? 463 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,677 A UFO. 464 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,289 A real-life UFO. 465 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,378 Don't you wanna believe... 466 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,293 that we're not alone, 467 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:27,992 like, that there's something bigger than us out there? 468 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,865 Sure. Um, but not in Patience. 469 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,693 I mean, we just barely got a pizza place. 470 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:35,130 I am sure there are not aliens here. 471 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,394 You're probably right. 472 00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:42,224 It's just fun to think about sometimes. 473 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,399 - Hello. - Hello. 474 00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:47,534 Jay's here. Okay. 475 00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:48,839 Pretend like you're talking to me, would you? 476 00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:50,101 I am talking to you. 477 00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:51,451 Right. Oh God. 478 00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:54,236 I'm so--I just get so nervous when she's around. 479 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,585 I mean, I've been giving her space, you know? 480 00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,718 But I'm--it just feels like it's been forever, 481 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,198 and her 18th birthday is in two days. 482 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,242 Am I talking fast? - Mm-hmm. 483 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:03,158 Talking fast. She's driving now. 484 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,073 Yeah, she's our best customer. 485 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,162 We've given her, like, six tickets. 486 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,121 Oh. I'm so sorry. 487 00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:11,340 Mm-mm. Breathe. 488 00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,342 [sighs] Okay. 489 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,561 - Yeah. - [whispers] She's coming. 490 00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,302 - She's on her way. - Don't pass out. 491 00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:21,045 - Hi. - Hey, how are you? 492 00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,133 How are you? 493 00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:23,483 I'm good. 494 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:28,314 Um, so my birthday's coming up, which you know. 495 00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:30,707 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there. 496 00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,318 [both laugh] 497 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:36,147 Yeah, so... look, I was wondering if you might want 498 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:38,106 to do something that day. 499 00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:40,239 Just, um-- just you and me. 500 00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,243 - Really? - Yeah, you know... 501 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,549 just, like, lunch or something. 502 00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,638 It's no big deal. Just hang out. 503 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:49,987 Uh... 504 00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:51,902 I would love that. 505 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,296 Okay. Um, great. 506 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,037 Pick me up at the diner at 1:00? 507 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,258 Maybe we can check out that new Mexican place? 508 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,781 I can't wait. 509 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:04,393 Okay. Um, I'm gonna go... 510 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:05,742 I'm gonna go eat as much food as I can 511 00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:07,875 before Mr. Hawthorne kicks me out. 512 00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:09,703 Sure. Cool. 513 00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:12,706 [dramatic music] 514 00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:19,669 ♪ 515 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,414 [laughs] 516 00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:27,590 ♪ 517 00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:29,897 [laughs] 518 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:33,161 ♪ 519 00:21:33,204 --> 00:21:34,597 [sighs] 520 00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:36,338 [knocking] - Hey, are you okay? 521 00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,253 Yeah, I'm great. 522 00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:41,778 I just need to pee. [sink water flows] 523 00:21:41,822 --> 00:21:42,779 ♪ 524 00:21:42,823 --> 00:21:46,130 [sniffling] 525 00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:49,308 [sighs] 526 00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:52,485 [screams] 527 00:21:53,616 --> 00:21:56,358 Let me in. I know you're upset. 528 00:21:56,402 --> 00:22:03,409 ♪ 529 00:22:03,452 --> 00:22:05,933 I'm fine. Just... sneezed. 530 00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:08,109 Um, have you seen Harry? 531 00:22:08,152 --> 00:22:09,240 Don't be too self-conscious. 532 00:22:09,284 --> 00:22:10,720 I had a bunch of them eggs too. 533 00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:12,679 You get in line. I'ma be a while. 534 00:22:12,722 --> 00:22:15,464 Don't stand by the door neither, a'ight? 535 00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:16,726 You're the one that said not to be self-conscious-- 536 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,380 Get away from the damn door! 537 00:22:18,424 --> 00:22:19,947 I still see your feet! - All right. 538 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,040 [grunts] Ow. 539 00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:28,651 Looking for something? 540 00:22:28,695 --> 00:22:30,740 I wanted to heat up pie. 541 00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:33,700 [whispers] The baby hatched, and you knew it! 542 00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:36,267 What? This is news to me. 543 00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:38,574 How did you not tell me this sooner? 544 00:22:38,618 --> 00:22:40,576 Stop it. I saw it in the bathroom! 545 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,665 - [groans] - And it has teeth! 546 00:22:42,709 --> 00:22:45,059 What kind of baby has teeth? 547 00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:46,626 Oh, an alien baby. 548 00:22:46,669 --> 00:22:51,326 They're very good at ripping things... or people. 549 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,807 Everyone! We have to leave the house! 550 00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:56,940 No. No, no. 551 00:22:56,984 --> 00:22:58,246 I saw it run outside. 552 00:22:58,289 --> 00:23:02,468 Everyone, we need to stay inside the house! 553 00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:03,556 - Harry... - We should keep 554 00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,949 everyone together. 555 00:23:05,993 --> 00:23:08,996 Outside is not safe. 556 00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:11,868 [suspenseful music] 557 00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:17,396 Now, any cop that's ever been a cop in D.C. 558 00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:18,962 is there, right? Which is just-- 559 00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:21,661 that's just the way it is at Kelly's when a cop retires. 560 00:23:21,704 --> 00:23:23,053 So the next thing you know, 561 00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:24,838 we hear all these people screaming, right? 562 00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:25,839 We don't know what's going on. 563 00:23:25,882 --> 00:23:27,101 Did a fight break out, you know? 564 00:23:27,144 --> 00:23:29,146 Who knows? And I look, 565 00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:32,672 and parting the sea of bodies is a goat. 566 00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:34,717 - What? - Jesse had snuck a goat 567 00:23:34,761 --> 00:23:36,545 into the bar and just let it loose. 568 00:23:36,589 --> 00:23:38,417 [laughter] 569 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:41,550 See, now that was Jesse! [laughter] 570 00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:43,422 Good to see you laughin'. 571 00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,380 Hey Dad, can I talk to you for a second? 572 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,512 Okay. 573 00:23:46,555 --> 00:23:49,253 Oh, and this other time... 574 00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:50,907 [whispering] The alien baby hatched. 575 00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:52,082 It's loose! 576 00:23:52,126 --> 00:23:53,388 [whispering] Is that a bad thing? 577 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,042 It's not a good thing. 578 00:23:55,085 --> 00:23:56,957 Keep everyone together, and don't let anyone outside, okay? 579 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,350 Harry's really worried. 580 00:23:59,394 --> 00:24:02,702 - He doesn't look worried. - Huh? 581 00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:05,444 [laughing] I do not like this gift. 582 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:07,315 Didn't I, uh, give you that last Christmas? 583 00:24:07,358 --> 00:24:09,578 Well, maybe if someone had invited me, 584 00:24:09,622 --> 00:24:10,797 I'd have time to shop. 585 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,276 Plus, it smells like doo-doo, baby. 586 00:24:15,323 --> 00:24:17,630 Harry, can I ask you a quick question about the pie? 587 00:24:17,673 --> 00:24:20,067 The mayor gives cheap gifts. 588 00:24:20,110 --> 00:24:22,156 Oh, actually he worked pretty hard on that. 589 00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:25,464 Not cheap. Uh, it happens to be beeswax, 590 00:24:25,507 --> 00:24:27,988 nature's gold. - Isn't gold nature's gold? 591 00:24:28,031 --> 00:24:29,598 Not to Ben. 592 00:24:29,642 --> 00:24:30,991 What if it's outside? 593 00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:32,732 Then maybe we should stay here. 594 00:24:32,775 --> 00:24:34,473 And if we're going to stay here, 595 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:35,952 we should open presents. 596 00:24:35,996 --> 00:24:37,737 - [whispering] Asta! Asta! - Yeah, do not go outside. 597 00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:39,216 Asta! 598 00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:40,827 We should stay inside while we can't go outside. 599 00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,306 - Come on! - Come on! 600 00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:46,006 Let's go to the other window. - [whispers] Yeah. 601 00:24:46,049 --> 00:24:49,009 [eerie music] 602 00:24:49,052 --> 00:24:52,795 ♪ 603 00:24:52,839 --> 00:24:54,188 [raccoon chirping] 604 00:24:54,231 --> 00:24:56,190 [normal pitch] Cool, a raccoon! 605 00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:57,844 [normal pitch] Aw, look at the cute little-- 606 00:24:57,887 --> 00:24:59,367 [raccoon yowls] 607 00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,761 [gory mashing] 608 00:25:01,804 --> 00:25:02,849 What the? 609 00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:04,372 [suspenseful music] 610 00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:05,416 [alien hisses] 611 00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:06,679 [both scream] 612 00:25:06,722 --> 00:25:08,332 [both panting] 613 00:25:08,376 --> 00:25:10,813 Do you know what this means? 614 00:25:10,857 --> 00:25:12,380 Raccoon bones don't taste good? 615 00:25:12,423 --> 00:25:15,078 Harry is breeding alien babies. 616 00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:17,559 ♪ 617 00:25:17,603 --> 00:25:19,343 How long do I have to keep everybody here for? 618 00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:21,215 I mean, is it safe outside? 619 00:25:21,258 --> 00:25:24,218 Did the "humalien" thing run away? 620 00:25:24,261 --> 00:25:26,568 I do not know what the alien will do. 621 00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:28,396 It is a hybrid. 622 00:25:28,439 --> 00:25:31,791 The alien part of it will want to come back when it is hungry. 623 00:25:31,834 --> 00:25:33,009 It will know there is food here. 624 00:25:33,053 --> 00:25:35,055 You mean us, right? 625 00:25:35,098 --> 00:25:37,274 No, of course not. 626 00:25:37,318 --> 00:25:40,800 It will want to eat the egg sack that it was born in. 627 00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:42,410 Okay. 628 00:25:42,453 --> 00:25:44,194 Then us. 629 00:25:44,238 --> 00:25:46,240 - Jesus. - I'll go downstairs 630 00:25:46,283 --> 00:25:51,071 and look for it, and maybe snack on the sack. 631 00:25:51,114 --> 00:25:53,421 - Ew. - I need something savory. 632 00:25:53,464 --> 00:25:57,120 You know, about it maybe eating us thing... 633 00:25:57,164 --> 00:26:00,080 you got bullets for those guns? 634 00:26:00,123 --> 00:26:01,342 They're all loaded. 635 00:26:01,385 --> 00:26:03,562 The real me was redneck-y. 636 00:26:07,783 --> 00:26:09,045 [sighs] 637 00:26:09,089 --> 00:26:11,352 Hey Dan. Uh... 638 00:26:11,395 --> 00:26:13,702 I've been carrying around some of Jesse's ashes with me 639 00:26:13,746 --> 00:26:14,964 for a while now, right? 640 00:26:15,008 --> 00:26:17,097 I'm thinkin' maybe it's time to let him go. 641 00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:18,272 You know, spread his ashes. 642 00:26:18,315 --> 00:26:20,013 I love that idea. 643 00:26:20,056 --> 00:26:22,798 I think you'll be happier not carrying that weight around. 644 00:26:22,842 --> 00:26:24,234 Yeah. Well, we used to fish 645 00:26:24,278 --> 00:26:25,932 together a lot. So I thought about 646 00:26:25,975 --> 00:26:27,847 doing it here, on the lake. 647 00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:30,501 You know, maybe we have a little memorial for him. 648 00:26:30,545 --> 00:26:32,242 I'd love for you to be a part of it. 649 00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:34,897 I'd be honored. Anytime. 650 00:26:34,941 --> 00:26:37,508 Great! All right, let's go. 651 00:26:37,552 --> 00:26:40,120 Uh, not now. 652 00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:41,817 Why not? 653 00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:43,166 Too windy. 654 00:26:43,210 --> 00:26:45,778 Not good ash-spreading weather. 655 00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:48,128 Well, you the expert, right? 656 00:26:48,171 --> 00:26:49,564 I'ma get me some food. 657 00:26:58,007 --> 00:26:59,835 Hey! Dr. V! 658 00:26:59,879 --> 00:27:01,794 Just, uh, thought I'd say hi. 659 00:27:01,837 --> 00:27:04,144 Wow, great work space. 660 00:27:04,187 --> 00:27:06,755 You, uh, you build birdhouses down here? 661 00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:08,801 You, uh, you're a tinkerer? 662 00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:09,802 You like to tinker? 663 00:27:09,845 --> 00:27:11,455 Yes. 664 00:27:11,499 --> 00:27:13,588 Sometimes it makes me shiver 665 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:16,156 because of the warm urine leaving my body. 666 00:27:16,199 --> 00:27:17,548 Oh no, that's, uh... 667 00:27:20,203 --> 00:27:22,684 Anyway, hey, um, 668 00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:25,295 wanted to talk to you about something. 669 00:27:25,339 --> 00:27:29,169 Unfortunately, Dr. Smallwood has decided to retire, 670 00:27:29,212 --> 00:27:31,650 and we have found ourselves, once again, 671 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,173 without a town doctor. 672 00:27:33,216 --> 00:27:34,914 - [gasps] - And, yes, I can see 673 00:27:34,957 --> 00:27:36,219 by the concern on your face 674 00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:37,656 that you understand what a difficult position 675 00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:38,700 this puts me in. 676 00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:40,223 But you know what's even better? 677 00:27:40,267 --> 00:27:42,748 - [growls] - Is you... returning 678 00:27:42,791 --> 00:27:44,575 as our town doctor. What do you think? 679 00:27:44,619 --> 00:27:46,665 I will consider it! [grunts] 680 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:50,190 Oh! What the heck was that? 681 00:27:50,233 --> 00:27:52,061 It was an Earth animal. 682 00:27:55,238 --> 00:27:57,023 It's a sick raccoon. - Mm-hmm. 683 00:27:57,066 --> 00:28:00,069 We should probably go away. 684 00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:01,201 Don't get close to it. 685 00:28:01,244 --> 00:28:03,203 Yep. Say no more. 686 00:28:03,246 --> 00:28:04,595 That's my cue. - Mm. 687 00:28:04,639 --> 00:28:06,815 Uh, I'll go warn the others. [cell phone rings] 688 00:28:06,859 --> 00:28:09,731 Uh... hmm? 689 00:28:09,775 --> 00:28:11,559 Hello? 690 00:28:11,602 --> 00:28:12,952 Oh, hi. 691 00:28:12,995 --> 00:28:14,910 Really? That's amazing. 692 00:28:14,954 --> 00:28:17,043 ♪ 693 00:28:17,086 --> 00:28:20,046 [indistinct chatter] 694 00:28:20,089 --> 00:28:26,313 ♪ 695 00:28:26,356 --> 00:28:28,184 You know, if those raccoons do have rabies, 696 00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:29,577 we should find them and take them somewhere. 697 00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:31,448 Shit, I ain't messin' with no damn rabies. 698 00:28:31,492 --> 00:28:33,712 You know 100% of people who have rabies go insane, 699 00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:36,105 but only 20% of insane people have rabies? 700 00:28:36,149 --> 00:28:37,890 That's a Internet fact. 701 00:28:37,933 --> 00:28:39,108 Mmm. 702 00:28:39,152 --> 00:28:40,414 Oh. 703 00:28:40,457 --> 00:28:42,416 This stuff's pretty good. 704 00:28:42,459 --> 00:28:44,070 It's spicier than I remember. 705 00:28:44,113 --> 00:28:45,898 [smacks lips] 706 00:28:45,941 --> 00:28:47,551 It's tangy. 707 00:28:47,595 --> 00:28:48,596 You know? 708 00:28:48,639 --> 00:28:51,599 - I'll have some of that. - Yeah. 709 00:28:51,642 --> 00:28:54,428 Well, looks like New York's out of the picture. 710 00:28:54,471 --> 00:28:56,604 What? Why? 711 00:28:56,647 --> 00:28:58,258 Ben just got a call from some company 712 00:28:58,301 --> 00:29:00,129 that wants to put a resort here. 713 00:29:00,173 --> 00:29:01,740 Says he's gonna be mayor for decades. 714 00:29:01,783 --> 00:29:04,133 Nobody's putting a resort here. 715 00:29:04,177 --> 00:29:05,308 What are you talking about? 716 00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:06,701 I don't know. He says he took pictures 717 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,442 of the Grady land to sell them on the idea, 718 00:29:08,485 --> 00:29:09,965 and now they want to do it. 719 00:29:10,009 --> 00:29:11,619 What? He said he was using 720 00:29:11,662 --> 00:29:13,490 those pictures for the town website. 721 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,102 What? 722 00:29:16,145 --> 00:29:17,320 Excuse me. 723 00:29:20,323 --> 00:29:22,499 Hey, didn't realize you were still here. 724 00:29:22,543 --> 00:29:24,284 Yeah, just thought I'd grab something to eat. 725 00:29:24,327 --> 00:29:26,460 That was like an hour ago. 726 00:29:26,503 --> 00:29:28,244 I guess I've been eating for an hour. 727 00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,247 - Huh. - Mm-hmm. 728 00:29:31,291 --> 00:29:32,379 [mutters] Didn't realize I hired Jughead 729 00:29:32,422 --> 00:29:34,250 to deliver the cake. 730 00:29:34,294 --> 00:29:35,904 Hey, what are you two talking about? 731 00:29:35,948 --> 00:29:38,037 Oh, I was just catching up with D'arcy 732 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,300 about the pictures that you took for the resort. 733 00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:41,780 You know, the ones that you lied to me about, 734 00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:43,607 that you said were for the "town website." 735 00:29:43,651 --> 00:29:46,132 Well, I plan on using those pictures for the town website 736 00:29:46,175 --> 00:29:47,698 as well, so... not a lie. 737 00:29:47,742 --> 00:29:49,439 Hey, uh, should I order more food? 738 00:29:49,483 --> 00:29:51,311 'Cause Jay is going through it like a lawnmower. 739 00:29:51,354 --> 00:29:53,139 Nope, you totally lied to me. 740 00:29:53,182 --> 00:29:54,531 I mean, Jesus. 741 00:29:54,575 --> 00:29:56,533 We spent the whole day rock climbing, ATVing, 742 00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:57,926 what, so you could just bring in a resort 743 00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,101 and destroy the town? 744 00:29:59,145 --> 00:30:00,624 Uh, you went rock climbing? 745 00:30:00,668 --> 00:30:02,713 [stammering] A little bit--small rock. 746 00:30:02,757 --> 00:30:05,412 So when I got home from my mom's, and I said, you know, 747 00:30:05,455 --> 00:30:07,414 "What have you been doing?" and you said, "Nothing," 748 00:30:07,457 --> 00:30:10,373 was "nothing" rock climbing with D'arcy? 749 00:30:10,417 --> 00:30:11,984 Uh... you know, I mean, 750 00:30:12,027 --> 00:30:14,900 isn't "nothing" kind of like a catchall expression? 751 00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:16,336 I mean, it really could mean lots of different things. 752 00:30:16,379 --> 00:30:17,859 No. It means nothing. 753 00:30:17,903 --> 00:30:20,296 You know, what you and D'arcy did, it wasn't nothing. 754 00:30:20,340 --> 00:30:22,385 It was something, and for some reason, 755 00:30:22,429 --> 00:30:24,648 you just didn't tell me about it. 756 00:30:24,692 --> 00:30:25,998 I just didn't think it was a big deal. 757 00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:27,695 Oh shit. Uh, look. 758 00:30:27,738 --> 00:30:29,610 [clears throat] I hate to insert myself here, 759 00:30:29,653 --> 00:30:31,612 but it looks like Ben could use a little help, 760 00:30:31,655 --> 00:30:33,527 so just know D'arcy kissed Ben, 761 00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:34,702 not the other way around. 762 00:30:34,745 --> 00:30:37,400 He's a completely innocent bystander. 763 00:30:37,444 --> 00:30:39,489 You kissed Ben? 764 00:30:39,533 --> 00:30:40,447 [nervously laughs] 765 00:30:40,490 --> 00:30:42,928 [dramatic music] 766 00:30:47,149 --> 00:30:49,238 What a fun development. You two kissed... 767 00:30:49,282 --> 00:30:50,674 each other! - I told you to tell her 768 00:30:50,718 --> 00:30:52,067 about the kiss. 769 00:30:52,111 --> 00:30:53,503 You know, this is on me. 770 00:30:53,547 --> 00:30:56,332 I was drunk and in a really horrible place. 771 00:30:56,376 --> 00:30:57,681 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. 772 00:30:57,725 --> 00:30:59,248 It's not Ben's fault. - Well put. 773 00:30:59,292 --> 00:31:00,554 Well, if it wasn't your fault, 774 00:31:00,597 --> 00:31:01,860 then why wouldn't you just tell me about it? 775 00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:03,209 I mean, then again, why would you? 776 00:31:03,252 --> 00:31:04,993 'Cause I'm only just now hearing about you putting 777 00:31:05,037 --> 00:31:06,342 a stupid resort in town. 778 00:31:06,386 --> 00:31:07,735 What resort? 779 00:31:07,778 --> 00:31:09,128 You can't put a resort in Patience. 780 00:31:09,171 --> 00:31:11,347 See? I didn't tell anybody. 781 00:31:11,391 --> 00:31:13,915 Is this the resort you were talking about that Ben wanted? 782 00:31:13,959 --> 00:31:15,264 Yeah. I think it's a bad idea. 783 00:31:15,308 --> 00:31:16,831 so does my mom. 784 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:18,093 I might've told Mike, thought he could keep a secret. 785 00:31:18,137 --> 00:31:19,660 You can't keep secrets from somebody 786 00:31:19,703 --> 00:31:21,096 who buys your bear claws every morning. 787 00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:23,272 It took two bear claws to find out about the kiss. 788 00:31:23,316 --> 00:31:25,187 Why is everyone listening to this? 789 00:31:25,231 --> 00:31:28,016 'Cause you're having a public fight, and we have ears. 790 00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:29,017 I'm not having a fight. 791 00:31:29,061 --> 00:31:30,671 I am explaining to my wife 792 00:31:30,714 --> 00:31:31,715 why I didn't tell her 793 00:31:31,759 --> 00:31:32,673 about hanging out with D'arcy 794 00:31:32,716 --> 00:31:33,717 a couple nights ago. 795 00:31:33,761 --> 00:31:34,893 So you hung out at night too? 796 00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:35,981 Okay, now it's a fight. 797 00:31:36,024 --> 00:31:37,199 I'm not fighting. 798 00:31:37,243 --> 00:31:38,984 I don't care if he hangs out with D'arcy. 799 00:31:39,027 --> 00:31:40,899 They're friends. I--I-- 800 00:31:40,942 --> 00:31:41,812 I just don't know why you wouldn't 801 00:31:41,856 --> 00:31:43,510 just tell me about this. 802 00:31:43,553 --> 00:31:47,601 After we left the Grady land, D'Arcy came back to the house. 803 00:31:47,644 --> 00:31:50,386 She found some weed that she had hid in Max's closet, 804 00:31:50,430 --> 00:31:51,605 and we smoked it. 805 00:31:51,648 --> 00:31:54,042 Wait, you hid pot in my son's closet? 806 00:31:54,086 --> 00:31:55,217 Yeah, but I hid it back in high school 807 00:31:55,261 --> 00:31:56,436 when I was bangin' your husband. 808 00:31:56,479 --> 00:31:57,567 Ho, ho, ho... 809 00:31:57,611 --> 00:31:59,569 Thought it was time for a hard joke. 810 00:31:59,613 --> 00:32:00,614 - No. - No. 811 00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:02,050 Look, this is ridiculous. 812 00:32:02,094 --> 00:32:04,009 Nothing happened. She fell asleep. 813 00:32:04,052 --> 00:32:06,402 I tucked her into Max's bed. End of story. 814 00:32:06,446 --> 00:32:07,882 Wait, you slept over? 815 00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,928 Ho, ho, it appears the story has a few more chapters. 816 00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:10,885 Wait, you smoked 15-year-old weed? 817 00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:13,018 I did. It was not good. 818 00:32:13,061 --> 00:32:14,976 - Ben-- - Yes, D'arcy slept over 819 00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:17,065 in Max's bed, and I am telling you now 820 00:32:17,109 --> 00:32:19,372 because I have nothing to hide. 821 00:32:19,415 --> 00:32:21,069 So where were you when I came home the next morning? 822 00:32:21,113 --> 00:32:22,679 Ben told me to hide. I snuck out the window. 823 00:32:22,723 --> 00:32:24,072 I made a gesture. 824 00:32:24,116 --> 00:32:25,595 You took it to mean hide. 825 00:32:25,639 --> 00:32:27,075 I also stole one of your kid's candy bars. 826 00:32:27,119 --> 00:32:28,511 I'm sorry. - I can't believe this. 827 00:32:28,555 --> 00:32:30,426 You were hiding in my house? 828 00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:31,862 We hung out after that. 829 00:32:31,906 --> 00:32:34,648 You couldn't just tell me all of this? 830 00:32:34,691 --> 00:32:36,867 This whole thing was fake. 831 00:32:36,911 --> 00:32:38,695 I really thought you were my friend. 832 00:32:38,739 --> 00:32:40,959 No, I am your friend. 833 00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:42,699 She apologized for kissing Ben. 834 00:32:42,743 --> 00:32:44,745 I don't care about that, okay? 835 00:32:44,788 --> 00:32:46,834 It's a stupid kiss. Who cares? 836 00:32:46,877 --> 00:32:49,097 D'arcy was drunk and sad. Big surprise. 837 00:32:49,141 --> 00:32:50,620 You know, if you didn't freak out so hard 838 00:32:50,664 --> 00:32:52,100 about your husband hanging a sign on the wall, 839 00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:53,232 maybe he'd tell you more shit. 840 00:32:53,275 --> 00:32:54,102 Oh... 841 00:32:54,146 --> 00:32:55,974 oh, okay that makes sense. 842 00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:57,801 You're our new interior designer. 843 00:32:57,845 --> 00:33:00,239 Spend your time moving a coffee table across the room with Ben, 844 00:33:00,282 --> 00:33:01,980 because finding a single guy 845 00:33:02,023 --> 00:33:03,546 who's real and available is too scary. 846 00:33:03,590 --> 00:33:04,939 Well, maybe you should learn to talk to Ben 847 00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:06,114 about your feelings instead of stuffing them 848 00:33:06,158 --> 00:33:07,637 inside a 90-mile vertical treadmill run. 849 00:33:07,681 --> 00:33:08,987 So is this what you do? 850 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,292 You insert your drama into other people's lives 851 00:33:10,336 --> 00:33:11,250 'cause you can't deal with your own? 852 00:33:11,293 --> 00:33:12,425 No, I'm dealing with mine 853 00:33:12,468 --> 00:33:13,382 just fine, all right? 854 00:33:13,426 --> 00:33:15,254 I'm working out. I'm in shape. 855 00:33:15,297 --> 00:33:17,082 I look great. I quit drinking for... 856 00:33:17,125 --> 00:33:19,954 four hours-- - You lied to me. 857 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:21,390 You know what? No. 858 00:33:21,434 --> 00:33:23,305 I deserved it, because I have been lying for years. 859 00:33:23,349 --> 00:33:25,133 You wanna know the truth? I hate it here. 860 00:33:25,177 --> 00:33:27,483 I hate Patience. I hate my life, 861 00:33:27,527 --> 00:33:30,573 and I hate that I really thought you were my friend, 862 00:33:30,617 --> 00:33:31,835 and I'm glad that I pissed on your hand 863 00:33:31,879 --> 00:33:33,228 when I took that pregnancy test! 864 00:33:33,272 --> 00:33:34,360 What? 865 00:33:34,403 --> 00:33:35,535 [sighs] 866 00:33:35,578 --> 00:33:36,623 I'm pregnant. 867 00:33:38,494 --> 00:33:41,410 [party popper bangs] - Congratulations! 868 00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:47,634 Well, well, well, who's keeping secrets now? 869 00:33:47,677 --> 00:33:49,853 Um, not really the road 870 00:33:49,897 --> 00:33:51,159 you wanna be drivin' down right now. 871 00:33:51,203 --> 00:33:52,726 - Couldn't agree more. - Okay. 872 00:33:52,769 --> 00:33:54,119 Can you believe this shit? 873 00:33:54,162 --> 00:33:55,946 She actually thinks I'm afraid 874 00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:58,514 of being with a single man who's real. 875 00:33:58,558 --> 00:33:59,689 That's ridiculous. 876 00:33:59,733 --> 00:34:00,908 Pretty much dead on. 877 00:34:00,951 --> 00:34:02,779 You are also really needy. 878 00:34:02,823 --> 00:34:03,954 - [sighs] - Perfect. 879 00:34:03,998 --> 00:34:05,043 Side with the man. 880 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:06,653 These guys. Am I right, Liv? 881 00:34:06,696 --> 00:34:08,568 I'm not afraid of being in a real relationship. 882 00:34:10,918 --> 00:34:13,355 What? Oh, coming. 883 00:34:13,399 --> 00:34:16,010 Uh, oh, hey, hey. Where are you goin'? 884 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,446 Shit, unless you got another fight planned, 885 00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,057 I'm pretty sure that was the highlight of the night. 886 00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:22,321 No, no. Um, you can't leave yet... 887 00:34:22,364 --> 00:34:27,021 because we still have cake! [giggles] 888 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,414 Whoo. 889 00:34:35,682 --> 00:34:36,639 I'm sorry. 890 00:34:36,683 --> 00:34:39,164 [dramatic music] 891 00:34:39,207 --> 00:34:42,123 I'm really sorry. [stammers] I... 892 00:34:42,167 --> 00:34:44,560 I should've told you about the D'arcy stuff. 893 00:34:44,604 --> 00:34:48,390 ♪ 894 00:34:48,434 --> 00:34:51,915 I figure you're probably, at this point, well aware, 895 00:34:51,959 --> 00:34:52,960 but um, 896 00:34:53,003 --> 00:34:55,658 you're married to a dipshit. 897 00:34:55,702 --> 00:35:01,229 ♪ 898 00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:03,144 [sighs] I'm sorry. 899 00:35:03,188 --> 00:35:05,581 I should've told you about the-- 900 00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:06,887 [sighs] you know... 901 00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:08,758 ♪ 902 00:35:08,802 --> 00:35:10,108 Why didn't you tell me? 903 00:35:10,151 --> 00:35:12,936 I don't know. I don't know--I... 904 00:35:12,980 --> 00:35:15,156 [sighs] Was... 905 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,813 scared, and we don't really talk anymore. 906 00:35:19,856 --> 00:35:24,774 Anytime anything remotely uncomfortable comes up, 907 00:35:24,818 --> 00:35:26,733 we just--we just have sex 908 00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:28,778 instead of talking about what's really going on. 909 00:35:28,822 --> 00:35:30,345 Okay, okay. 910 00:35:30,389 --> 00:35:32,608 Let's talk. Right now. 911 00:35:34,306 --> 00:35:36,917 We're gonna have a baby. 912 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,440 Yeah. 913 00:35:38,484 --> 00:35:40,660 ♪ 914 00:35:40,703 --> 00:35:43,358 That's... 915 00:35:43,402 --> 00:35:44,185 a lot. 916 00:35:44,229 --> 00:35:46,622 ♪ 917 00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:47,971 It's a lot, a lot. 918 00:35:48,015 --> 00:35:53,020 ♪ 919 00:35:57,633 --> 00:36:03,900 all: ♪ Happy birthday, dear Harry ♪ 920 00:36:03,944 --> 00:36:10,298 ♪ Happy birthday to you 921 00:36:14,389 --> 00:36:16,826 You can go ahead and blow out the candles. 922 00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,480 No. 923 00:36:19,699 --> 00:36:21,135 I do not like cake. 924 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,180 Well, if you don't blow out the candles, 925 00:36:22,223 --> 00:36:23,268 your wish won't come true. 926 00:36:23,311 --> 00:36:26,184 - Mm. - I'll help you out, Harry. 927 00:36:26,227 --> 00:36:27,228 - Oh. - Oh. 928 00:36:27,272 --> 00:36:29,230 [distant moaning] 929 00:36:29,274 --> 00:36:31,624 And someone's having sex in the bathroom. 930 00:36:35,715 --> 00:36:37,064 Now, do not be concerned. 931 00:36:37,107 --> 00:36:38,152 These old houses... 932 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:41,416 you can't beat them, but join them! 933 00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:42,635 Everybody just sit tight, okay? 934 00:36:42,678 --> 00:36:44,376 Nobody leave. Dad, can you help me 935 00:36:44,419 --> 00:36:45,551 go downstairs, check the breaker? 936 00:36:45,594 --> 00:36:46,987 You bet. 937 00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:48,510 Raccoons probably chewed through the wires. 938 00:36:48,554 --> 00:36:49,946 Yeah, you know, I got this call once. 939 00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,992 It was a woodchuck that got into a fuse box. 940 00:36:52,035 --> 00:36:53,733 Fried the poor little guy medium rare. 941 00:36:53,776 --> 00:36:55,300 Do you know what the crazy part is? 942 00:36:55,343 --> 00:36:56,301 You know what it smelled like? 943 00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:58,607 Caesar salad. - Hmm. 944 00:36:58,651 --> 00:37:00,174 - Mm-hmm. - Delicious. 945 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:02,176 Do not worry about the raccoon. 946 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,005 I'm going outside to set a trap. 947 00:37:05,048 --> 00:37:07,181 Oh, I don't think raccoons eat pies. 948 00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:09,488 No. Harrys do. 949 00:37:09,531 --> 00:37:10,837 You can have garbage cake. 950 00:37:12,317 --> 00:37:14,580 Who keeps loaded rifles in their house? 951 00:37:14,623 --> 00:37:17,844 We're protecting ourselves from an outer space egg baby. 952 00:37:17,887 --> 00:37:20,499 That's the question you're asking, Dad? 953 00:37:20,542 --> 00:37:22,022 Hey, did you steal fruit? 954 00:37:22,065 --> 00:37:24,851 Oh, yes, Mr. Biggins, I stole all the apples. 955 00:37:24,894 --> 00:37:26,069 I need to be punished. - How about this? 956 00:37:26,113 --> 00:37:27,810 - [moans] - [whispers] Jesus. 957 00:37:27,854 --> 00:37:28,942 I swear, Mr. Biggins, 958 00:37:28,985 --> 00:37:30,596 I didn't mean any disrespect. 959 00:37:30,639 --> 00:37:32,511 [moaning] - You in the right business. 960 00:37:32,554 --> 00:37:34,208 [suspenseful music] 961 00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:35,470 Baby... 962 00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:36,558 ♪ 963 00:37:36,602 --> 00:37:40,519 Little baby. Agh! 964 00:37:40,562 --> 00:37:42,216 Baby? 965 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:43,478 Come here. 966 00:37:43,522 --> 00:37:46,742 ♪ 967 00:37:46,786 --> 00:37:50,355 [faint tinkling sound] 968 00:37:50,398 --> 00:37:56,926 ♪ 969 00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:59,364 [rustling sound] - Whoa. 970 00:37:59,407 --> 00:38:00,756 [sighs] 971 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,758 What are you doing here? 972 00:38:02,802 --> 00:38:04,194 We came to warn you about the Men in Black. 973 00:38:04,238 --> 00:38:06,327 They took Dr. Ethan. - What? 974 00:38:06,371 --> 00:38:08,938 In the spring, Max told them he was the alien. 975 00:38:08,982 --> 00:38:11,071 Hey, you don't speak for me. 976 00:38:11,114 --> 00:38:12,377 Yeah, what she said is right. 977 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:15,205 Anyway, once they realize he's a human, 978 00:38:15,249 --> 00:38:16,729 they're gonna come back for Harry. 979 00:38:16,772 --> 00:38:18,557 Plus, there's an alien baby 980 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,559 killing animals outside, just FYI. 981 00:38:20,602 --> 00:38:21,864 Yup. I know about that. 982 00:38:21,908 --> 00:38:23,692 Um, thank you for telling me. 983 00:38:23,736 --> 00:38:25,172 [whispers] Can you please sneak them home 984 00:38:25,215 --> 00:38:26,739 and make sure they don't get eaten? 985 00:38:26,782 --> 00:38:28,044 I'll take care of them. 986 00:38:28,088 --> 00:38:29,568 But it looks like you're not gonna have 987 00:38:29,611 --> 00:38:31,091 any lights for a while longer. 988 00:38:31,134 --> 00:38:32,919 [normal pitch] Okay. What are you guys 989 00:38:32,962 --> 00:38:35,269 even doing here? Don't you have a babysitter? 990 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:36,923 It's Ellen. 991 00:38:36,966 --> 00:38:40,013 Say no more. Okay, get home safe. 992 00:38:45,366 --> 00:38:47,760 I think this is a really weird party. 993 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,024 - Good cake, though. - Yeah. 994 00:38:51,067 --> 00:38:54,897 Am I a bad person if I like seeing other couples fight? 995 00:38:56,203 --> 00:39:00,425 You're a horrible person. [both giggle] 996 00:39:00,468 --> 00:39:02,340 [alien chirruping] 997 00:39:02,383 --> 00:39:09,390 ♪ 998 00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:11,566 [low growling noise] 999 00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:14,787 ♪ 1000 00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:16,397 Honey? What's wrong? 1001 00:39:16,441 --> 00:39:18,791 Something happened to me. 1002 00:39:18,834 --> 00:39:20,836 There's alien activity here, 1003 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,838 in Patience. I know it. 1004 00:39:22,882 --> 00:39:24,753 What are you gonna do? 1005 00:39:24,797 --> 00:39:27,060 The only thing I can do. 1006 00:39:27,103 --> 00:39:28,931 I'm gonna call the alien tracker 1007 00:39:28,975 --> 00:39:30,411 and tell him to come to Patience 1008 00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:32,326 and find himself an alien. 1009 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:33,980 Sorry about that, guys! 1010 00:39:34,023 --> 00:39:35,982 Raccoon definitely knocked out the power. 1011 00:39:36,025 --> 00:39:37,810 Um, until we figure this out, 1012 00:39:37,853 --> 00:39:39,246 I think we should just stay put. 1013 00:39:39,289 --> 00:39:41,770 Better call D'arcy. She just left. 1014 00:39:41,814 --> 00:39:43,511 [whispers] Ugh, damn it. 1015 00:39:43,555 --> 00:39:46,514 [dramatic music] 1016 00:39:46,558 --> 00:39:49,517 ♪ 1017 00:39:49,561 --> 00:39:51,737 [normal pitch] Hey! 1018 00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:52,999 - Hey. - Oh. 1019 00:39:53,042 --> 00:39:54,435 - Nice rifle. - [sighs] 1020 00:39:54,479 --> 00:39:56,350 You headed out to scare up some vittles? 1021 00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:57,525 Didn't you hear? 1022 00:39:57,569 --> 00:39:59,658 There's a rabid raccoon on the loose. 1023 00:39:59,701 --> 00:40:02,312 Good. Maybe it'll bite me. 1024 00:40:02,356 --> 00:40:04,358 If I start foaming at the mouth, don't shoot me. 1025 00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:05,490 Just... 1026 00:40:05,533 --> 00:40:07,143 let me suffer. 1027 00:40:07,187 --> 00:40:09,232 Don't listen to anything she says. 1028 00:40:09,276 --> 00:40:10,408 It's not true. 1029 00:40:12,758 --> 00:40:13,976 Yeah it is, though. 1030 00:40:15,978 --> 00:40:17,632 Do you know what my very first thought was 1031 00:40:17,676 --> 00:40:20,461 when I met Elliot? - Nice ass? 1032 00:40:20,505 --> 00:40:22,811 - Yes. - Yeah. 1033 00:40:22,855 --> 00:40:24,334 Do you know what my second thought was? 1034 00:40:27,294 --> 00:40:29,383 "How long till I mess this up?" 1035 00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:31,864 ♪ 1036 00:40:31,907 --> 00:40:34,214 What the shit is wrong with me? 1037 00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:35,520 ♪ 1038 00:40:35,563 --> 00:40:37,522 Okay. 1039 00:40:37,565 --> 00:40:39,567 So un-mess it. 1040 00:40:39,611 --> 00:40:41,656 Call him. - Yeah, right. 1041 00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:43,310 Call him now. 1042 00:40:43,353 --> 00:40:44,311 I have a gun. 1043 00:40:44,354 --> 00:40:46,269 ♪ 1044 00:40:46,313 --> 00:40:48,054 [groans] I'm not calling him. 1045 00:40:48,097 --> 00:40:49,055 - Okay, I'll do it. - No. 1046 00:40:49,098 --> 00:40:50,665 - Yeah. - No, no, no, no. 1047 00:40:50,709 --> 00:40:51,927 - No, no, I'll just do it. - You won't do that, 'cause no, 1048 00:40:51,971 --> 00:40:53,059 I'll text him. - I'll call-- 1049 00:40:53,102 --> 00:40:54,800 Okay, I'll text him! I'll text him. 1050 00:40:54,843 --> 00:40:57,150 ♪ 1051 00:40:57,193 --> 00:40:57,933 [sighs] 1052 00:40:57,977 --> 00:40:59,848 ♪ 1053 00:40:59,892 --> 00:41:01,546 What do I even say? 1054 00:41:01,589 --> 00:41:04,897 Uh, how about "Hi?" 1055 00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:06,942 - That's kind of brilliant. - Yeah. 1056 00:41:06,986 --> 00:41:08,901 [cell phone keyboard clicking] 1057 00:41:08,944 --> 00:41:11,033 Okay, it's sent. 1058 00:41:11,077 --> 00:41:12,339 Ugh! Now I just have to be 1059 00:41:12,382 --> 00:41:13,819 nauseous for two weeks waiting to see if he-- 1060 00:41:13,862 --> 00:41:14,776 [cell phone buzzes] Oh, my God. 1061 00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:18,040 [laughs] Hey! Hi. 1062 00:41:18,084 --> 00:41:19,172 You're a goddamn genius. 1063 00:41:19,215 --> 00:41:20,739 [laughs] 1064 00:41:20,782 --> 00:41:21,740 Hi. - Hi. 1065 00:41:21,783 --> 00:41:22,741 It's simple. It works. 1066 00:41:22,784 --> 00:41:23,829 - Yes. - Hi. 1067 00:41:23,872 --> 00:41:24,830 Okay, are you gonna write back? 1068 00:41:24,873 --> 00:41:26,745 No. I mean, in a couple days. 1069 00:41:26,788 --> 00:41:28,442 What am I, desperate? 1070 00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:32,402 Baby, this is for you. 1071 00:41:32,446 --> 00:41:34,666 [sniffs] 1072 00:41:34,709 --> 00:41:36,537 Mmm. 1073 00:41:36,581 --> 00:41:37,669 Come and get it! 1074 00:41:37,712 --> 00:41:40,628 [suspenseful music] 1075 00:41:40,672 --> 00:41:42,456 [clicking] 1076 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,285 Oh. 1077 00:41:45,328 --> 00:41:48,114 ♪ 1078 00:41:48,157 --> 00:41:51,291 [whimsical music] 1079 00:41:51,334 --> 00:41:54,163 ♪ 1080 00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:55,730 - [squeals] - [grunts] 1081 00:41:55,774 --> 00:41:56,862 [yowls] 1082 00:41:56,905 --> 00:41:57,906 ♪ 1083 00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:01,562 [electricity crackles] 1084 00:42:01,606 --> 00:42:02,824 [sighs] 1085 00:42:05,392 --> 00:42:06,828 Hello, Harry. 1086 00:42:06,872 --> 00:42:08,395 I'm Goliath. 1087 00:42:08,438 --> 00:42:09,570 Goliath. 1088 00:42:09,614 --> 00:42:14,488 Why are you inside a hybrid alien baby? 1089 00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,751 Clever, right? 1090 00:42:16,795 --> 00:42:18,971 I needed to send you a message, 1091 00:42:19,014 --> 00:42:22,235 and this is a big one. 1092 00:42:22,278 --> 00:42:24,324 First, you need to know that our people are not coming 1093 00:42:24,367 --> 00:42:26,674 to kill everyone. - Why are they not coming? 1094 00:42:26,718 --> 00:42:28,328 Because it's too dangerous. 1095 00:42:28,371 --> 00:42:29,938 There's an alien race that's planning 1096 00:42:29,982 --> 00:42:32,071 to take over the Earth. They're here, Harry. 1097 00:42:32,114 --> 00:42:33,725 What alien race? 1098 00:42:33,768 --> 00:42:35,640 You must be careful. They are-- 1099 00:42:35,683 --> 00:42:36,728 [gunshot] - [squeals] 1100 00:42:36,771 --> 00:42:38,338 Wha-- 1101 00:42:38,381 --> 00:42:39,644 Ah. 1102 00:42:39,687 --> 00:42:45,606 ♪ 1103 00:42:45,650 --> 00:42:46,651 No... 1104 00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:48,914 ♪ 1105 00:42:48,957 --> 00:42:52,047 You should've just stayed in Colorado and done your job. 1106 00:42:52,091 --> 00:42:53,701 You shot me. 1107 00:42:53,745 --> 00:42:56,617 Yeah, like you shot two of my guys in New York. 1108 00:42:56,661 --> 00:43:00,578 I should have never made you kill Sam Hodges. 1109 00:43:00,621 --> 00:43:02,362 I should have just taken care of it myself. 1110 00:43:02,405 --> 00:43:03,319 [gun cocks] 1111 00:43:03,363 --> 00:43:06,061 [gunshot] 1112 00:43:06,105 --> 00:43:10,675 ♪ 1113 00:43:10,718 --> 00:43:12,067 Asta. 1114 00:43:12,111 --> 00:43:19,248 ♪ 1115 00:43:19,292 --> 00:43:22,077 [Belle and Sebastian's "The Boy With the Arab Strap"] 1116 00:43:22,121 --> 00:43:28,344 ♪ 1117 00:43:28,388 --> 00:43:30,259 Holy shit. 1118 00:43:30,303 --> 00:43:33,698 [panting] Harry... 1119 00:43:33,741 --> 00:43:37,092 ♪ A mile and a half on a bus takes a long time ♪ 1120 00:43:37,136 --> 00:43:38,659 ♪ The odor of old prison food ♪ 1121 00:43:38,703 --> 00:43:41,880 ♪ Takes a long time to pass you by ♪ 1122 00:43:41,923 --> 00:43:46,667 ♪ 1123 00:43:46,711 --> 00:43:50,410 ♪ Day upon day, this wandering gets you down ♪ 1124 00:43:50,453 --> 00:43:53,369 ♪ Nobody gives you a chance or a dollar ♪ 1125 00:43:53,413 --> 00:43:55,589 ♪ In this old town 1126 00:43:55,633 --> 00:44:00,594 ♪ 1127 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:03,684 ♪ Hovering silence from you is a giveaway ♪ 1128 00:44:03,728 --> 00:44:05,686 ♪ Squalor and smoke's not your style ♪