1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,481 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:06,267 This is what is left of my spaceship. 3 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,225 This happened to you because you went to space. 4 00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:10,010 I don't think that's how space works. 5 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:13,100 - What else could it be? - I have no idea. 6 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:14,753 That little shit pocket. 7 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:18,670 I forgot to tell you, my people are coming to kill everyone. 8 00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,716 You're an alien, you know, phone home. 9 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,544 Call them and tell them not to come. 10 00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:25,416 I will try to build a radio and contact my people. 11 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,157 The government is after him. 12 00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,116 They know that I know who he is. 13 00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,291 What? 14 00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,814 And they went back to their base, 15 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,555 and now they're driving around searching for him. 16 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,296 How do you know where their base is? 17 00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,080 We have our ways. 18 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,473 Hello, Asta. We need to speak 19 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,562 with Dr. Vanderspeigle about that severed foot. 20 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:41,780 Well, I'll be. 21 00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,608 Botulinum toxin-- the murder weapon. 22 00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:46,089 - Oh, no. - Where is he, Asta? 23 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,699 He went to hide in the cellar. 24 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:48,874 Dr. Vanderspeigle! 25 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,877 - Whoa, what's with the guns? - Asta? 26 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,141 What in holy hell? 27 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:59,102 [groaning] 28 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:02,105 [dramatic music] 29 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:05,456 ♪ 30 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:09,678 That faint one there is Mars, 31 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,419 the god of war. 32 00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:16,293 And over there is Venus, the goddess of fertility. 33 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:19,340 - Venus rhymes with penis. - [laughs] 34 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,907 D'arcy, Judy, that's not funny. 35 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,561 Is there a girl hero? 36 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:26,521 Olivia Baker, did we raise our hand before we spoke? 37 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,566 Ben didn't raise his hand. 38 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,395 Ben is working on being more assertive, 39 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,876 so it's okay for him. 40 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,921 [whooshing] 41 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:38,750 Wow, what's that? 42 00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:41,840 Let's go! Asta, Kayla, come on! 43 00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:43,407 - Cool! - Wait up! 44 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:46,628 Hey, hey! Never leave a fire unattended. 45 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:49,283 I'll stay. [children shouting excitedly] 46 00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:54,331 ♪ 47 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:57,160 Wait for me, kids. Hey, you can't go alone! 48 00:01:57,204 --> 00:02:04,341 ♪ 49 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,478 I looked, but there was nothing. 50 00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:12,958 I didn't see anything. - I did. I saw something. 51 00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:16,658 Olivia Baker, you know the rules about lying. 52 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:19,269 ♪ 53 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,315 Did you really see something? 54 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:25,754 No. 55 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:32,282 ♪ 56 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,329 [laidback acoustic strumming] 57 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:42,249 ♪ 58 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,382 [suspenseful music] 59 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,515 Dr. Vanderspeigle! 60 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:48,733 Dr. V! 61 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,911 Where the hell is he? Oh, shit! 62 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:55,000 Put your hands above your head right now. 63 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:57,307 You're under arrest for the murder of Sam Hodges. 64 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,179 What? Harry, what's going on? 65 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:02,356 ♪ 66 00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:05,533 You're going to have to catch me first. 67 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:08,275 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 68 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,668 Deputy, we got ourselves a werewolf! 69 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,322 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Hey! Hey! 70 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,150 [gunshot] - Don't shoot him! 71 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,717 Him? That's a goddamn it! 72 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,327 You need a silver bullet in your ass, 73 00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:18,720 you albino-ass werewolf mother-- 74 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:19,851 [shouts] 75 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,550 [gunshots] 76 00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,682 No, he won't hurt you if you don't hurt him! 77 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,467 He's an alien! 78 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:29,034 I knew they existed. 79 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:32,124 ♪ 80 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:37,042 ♪ Love and affection is all that you lack ♪ 81 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,870 You know what? 82 00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,568 I think we deserve a toast with our toast. 83 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,700 Good work on the Severed Foot Killer, Deputy. 84 00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:44,659 It's gonna be nice to move on to something else. 85 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,878 Thank you, sir. You too. 86 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,272 - Mmm. - Mmm. 87 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,710 I don't want to put my "foot" 88 00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,756 in my mouth... - [laughs] 89 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:59,239 But I think we deserve to have more of this bacon. 90 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,110 And maybe even a raise! 91 00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:02,981 Ha! You know what? 92 00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:05,549 Now that I think about it, you're absolutely right. 93 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:09,336 I mean, now's the time, and you've certainly earned it. 94 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,425 Let's get some more of that bacon. 95 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:14,558 [chuckles] [door opens, bells jingle] 96 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,212 [door closes, bells jingle] 97 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,215 [dramatic music] 98 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,478 ♪ 99 00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:24,046 Morning, Dr. V. 100 00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:26,222 Howdy. 101 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,573 How...dy. 102 00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,141 Wow, I guess it worked. 103 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:33,925 I am an alien. 104 00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:36,928 We are very good at changing peoples' memories 105 00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,539 to suit our purposes. 106 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,106 They will not be a problem anymore. 107 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:44,284 [suspenseful music] 108 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:47,809 ♪ 109 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,463 Deputy, let's get into the car 110 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,421 and drive out to Dr. Vanderspeigle's house. 111 00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:54,511 We need to talk to him about some murder stuff. 112 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:57,645 [tires screech] 113 00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,433 Sheriff Michael Thompson, Deputy Olivia Baker, 114 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:07,350 Special Agent Fisher, FBI. 115 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,786 We're tracking down the Dead Foot Killer. 116 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,397 We've been following your movements 117 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,789 for quite some time now, 118 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:15,227 and I have to say, you two do excellent work. 119 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,882 Thank you. You've made me feel good about myself, 120 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:20,015 so I'm open to what you're going to say next. 121 00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:22,974 We wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for you both. 122 00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:25,455 But the time has come for us to take over this case. 123 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,065 Well, if you're taking over, 124 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,807 we should stop looking into the crime. 125 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:32,767 Exactly. I can only tell you one thing about the case. 126 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:37,075 The murderer is not Harry Vanderspeigle. 127 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,818 Well, you're lucky they bought that. 128 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,472 You know, when we were in the crevasse, 129 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:43,865 I saw you were an alien. 130 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:46,346 Why didn't you replace my memory? 131 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,609 Because I am not alone anymore. 132 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,439 You can thank me if you want. 133 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,484 For what? 134 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:57,966 I killed the man who killed your friend Sam. 135 00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:00,621 You are welcome. 136 00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,362 - Okay, Harry... - Hmm? 137 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,015 You're still a murderer. 138 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:08,368 No. I am a murderer murderer. It's very different. 139 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:12,415 You can rationalize your murderer murder all damn day. 140 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,112 [whispering] But guess what. 141 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:16,854 Abigail Hodges is still accused of a murder she didn't commit. 142 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:19,640 So what? You do not even like her. 143 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,555 What is wrong with you? 144 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,731 Do you really have no empathy whatsoever? 145 00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,428 That is not what is wrong with me. 146 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,038 That is what is right with me. 147 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,170 Maybe you should try 148 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,172 putting yourself in other people's shoes. 149 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:35,177 Ugh! Other people's shoes smell like other people's feet. 150 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,527 Hi, I'm Ben Hawthorne, 151 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:40,530 Mayor of peaceful Patience, Colorado, 152 00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,532 where sometimes bad things happen 153 00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:44,578 that are totally unrelated. 154 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,493 Some of the highest peaks in Colorado 155 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:50,061 are right here in Patience, but you know what's really low? 156 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,586 Our mortality rate. 157 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,414 I don't think you should say "mortality." 158 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:55,893 - No? - No. 159 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,939 No good? You're right, it's a little too dark. 160 00:06:57,982 --> 00:07:00,420 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. Uh, Alexa? 161 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:04,119 What is another word for "mortality"? 162 00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:06,904 Synonyms for "mortality" meaning "death" 163 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:10,299 include "fatality," "bloodshed," or "dying." 164 00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,040 Alexa, stop. 165 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,433 Uh, you know what? 166 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,913 Let's just lose the whole, you know, death theme. 167 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,785 - Yeah. - Yeah. Keep it positive. 168 00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,569 - Yeah, keep it light. - Keep it loose. 169 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:20,918 - Yeah. - Okay, let me, uh-- 170 00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,137 let me just try some of these. 171 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,487 [exhales sharply] Come on down to Patience. 172 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,446 We still have a working phone booth. 173 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,230 We have a pretty good dentist. 174 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,667 Our meth hospitalizations have been way down 175 00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,103 since we legalized marijuana. 176 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,365 So come to Patience 177 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:36,281 for some good, clean family fun, you hear? 178 00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:37,892 Oh! Oops 179 00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,764 How'd that get in there? [chuckles] 180 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,897 See, honey, this is-- this is why I said not to use 181 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,594 the cloud for these-- it's not safe. 182 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:45,900 Oh, don't be so uptight. 183 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,597 What's the worst that happens, huh? 184 00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:49,556 Somebody hacks into our account 185 00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:52,123 and sees pictures of our BDSM kink play? 186 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:55,518 - What's BDSM kink play? - It's--uh, it's-- 187 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:56,780 - Did we get a new game? - It's nothing. 188 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,434 It's nothing. No, we did not, okay? 189 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,131 Go clean your room--my cousin Carlyn's coming for the night. 190 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:01,872 Can I play kink play with you and your cousin? 191 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,308 both: No! 192 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:04,962 Uh, because she and I are going hiking. 193 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,138 You go clean your room. - [sighs] 194 00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:10,315 So how long will building this radio take? 195 00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:13,318 Can I help? - Ha! Ha! 196 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:17,845 I don't know. Can a newborn pig help perform cardiac surgery? 197 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,760 All right, you might want to think of another metaphor 198 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,849 before I push you into traffic. 199 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:24,155 I'm just trying to save the human race here. 200 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:27,028 My problem is I do not have a lot of time to build it, 201 00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:31,815 and human technology is very limited. 202 00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,991 I don't know what to tell you, Harry. 203 00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:35,297 Get creative. 204 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,429 You know, E.T. used a freakin' Speak & Spell. 205 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:40,432 E.T. was an idiot. 206 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:43,348 Obviously, sexy. 207 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,350 Very attractive... 208 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,701 but so dumb. 209 00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:50,051 Well, at least we have fewer distractions 210 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:52,662 now that your criminal past is taken care of. 211 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:55,752 Almost taken care of. 212 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,408 Now it is taken care of. - Are you serious? 213 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,236 Maybe don't throw a deadly toxin 214 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,151 where any kid can just grab it. - Mm. 215 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,848 Have you not watched enough "Law & Order" to know 216 00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,808 you don't just throw evidence into a trash can? 217 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,984 Who's the idiot now? 218 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,160 Still E.T. 219 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:14,641 Beautiful moron. 220 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:17,600 [dramatic music] 221 00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,777 ♪ 222 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,779 [knock at door] 223 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:29,612 ♪ 224 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:35,444 What? 225 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,881 Dr. Vanderspeigle, I am so glad you're home. 226 00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,317 This is my cousin Carlyn. 227 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,971 Hi. Sorry. 228 00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:43,060 We were out hiking, and she tripped and cut her knee open. 229 00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:45,497 I was hoping you could help. - And she's dying? 230 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,717 Oh, no. [chuckles] It just needs to be looked at. 231 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:49,676 I was gonna take her into town, 232 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,416 but Dr. Smallwood is... 233 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:54,202 Well, Susan Brown went in with a broken wrist 234 00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,508 and came out with a cast on her ankle. 235 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,641 If I fix it... 236 00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,251 you'll leave? 237 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,297 Uh, yes. 238 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:03,646 Mm. 239 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,475 Oh, this looks like a ring resonator. 240 00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,869 Are you-- are you building a laser? 241 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,306 Are you a talking ham? 242 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:13,656 Carlyn works in a lab at New Mexico Tech. 243 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,311 She's one smart lady. - I'm impressed. 244 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:20,271 For a layman, this is really quite advanced. 245 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,664 It is software-based 246 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:25,276 radio-telemetry-transceiver technology, 247 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,801 but the inside-out potato chip bag 248 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:31,543 that I'm using as a diffuser keeps melting. 249 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,067 Wow. 250 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,243 I've never known a guy who was into SDR 251 00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,115 who wasn't also, like, you know, a troll. 252 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,727 [chuckles] - Trolls live under bridges. 253 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,945 I am not one of them. 254 00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,644 It means she thinks you're handsome. 255 00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,907 ♪ 256 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:50,824 I have a handsome human face. 257 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:53,478 And my skin tone is the same as a dead soldier 258 00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:55,916 in a Renaissance painting. 259 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:03,445 [cell phone chimes] 260 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,273 ♪ I'm just messin' around 261 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:06,622 [cell phone chimes] 262 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,581 ♪ I'm just messin' around, around ♪ 263 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:10,844 ♪ I'm just messin' around 264 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,802 [cell phone vibrates] 265 00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,239 Oh. Yes. 266 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:18,895 ♪ Around, and I like it ♪ 267 00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:21,768 Just, whatever you do, don't eat the snacks. 268 00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:24,335 Benny. Kate. 269 00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:27,077 Long time, no see-- well, together anyway. 270 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,732 I saw you up close and personal the other night. 271 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:32,517 What other night? 272 00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,868 Poker. 273 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,218 Why? What night did you think I was talking about? 274 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,611 - Hi, I'm Carlyn. - Hey. D'arcy. 275 00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,875 So can I get you guys some sliders? 276 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:45,269 Day-old buns help disguise the week-old meat. 277 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,836 We'll just-- we'll stick to liquids. 278 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,839 We just wanted to show Carlyn the town, and now we have. 279 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,493 It took about nine minutes. 280 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,321 Well, if you're here tonight, 281 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,279 my friend Kayla just called a GN59. 282 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,891 It's, like, a party but with a decent chance of prison time. 283 00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,414 Sounds fun. 284 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,937 Yeah. Yeah. 285 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,244 When anything stressful or shitty happens, 286 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:05,333 anyone in our friend group can call a GN59. 287 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:06,682 You have to drop everything 288 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,293 and go tits out on a huge girls' night. 289 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:10,904 Yeah, it's really fun. You should come. 290 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,862 Well, can't tonight. We have dinner plans. 291 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:15,169 But, uh, wouldn't mind ordering a few drinks, though, 292 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,127 if you can just find that bartender. 293 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,520 Oh, come on, Kate-o. 294 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,783 You just said you'd seen everything in the town. 295 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,350 Yeah, we should totally do it. 296 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:23,525 I mean, when's the last time 297 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:25,875 you let Kendra out to play, huh? 298 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,268 Who's Kendra? 299 00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,270 Kendra was her alter ego when she drank too much. 300 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:32,055 Oh, yeah, she brought her out at a family reunion once-- 301 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:33,622 real wild child. 302 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,667 Oh, I'm sad. You've never met Kendra. 303 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:38,018 - Yeah. News to me. - I'm sad, too. 304 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,237 Uh, I'll have a pilsner, what would you ladies like? 305 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,979 Come on. 306 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:44,024 Okay. 307 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,982 Okay. Let's do it. 308 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,157 - Oh. - We'll do it. 309 00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,680 Oh, but, hon, we already got a sitter. 310 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:52,293 Perfect. Call a friend. You can go out, too. 311 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,904 Ugh! Yes! 312 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:57,298 [grunts] Can we get some service around here? 313 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,647 [chuckles] 314 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,565 Hey, Sahar, I need your help. 315 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:06,263 Wait, when did you get a dog? 316 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,830 I'm not allowed to have a dog. 317 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,398 I walk Cinnamon for my neighbors. 318 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:11,878 She hasn't pooped in three days. 319 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,401 Why not? 320 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,359 She swallowed a whole avocado. 321 00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,622 I don't walk behind her anymore. 322 00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,015 Ew! 323 00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:21,061 You got to help me shave again. 324 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,584 Your face looks fine. 325 00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,368 It's not my face. 326 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:28,155 [dramatic music] 327 00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,766 - Oh. What? - What? 328 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,900 - I need a lawnmower for that! - What do I do? 329 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:34,988 I can help you, 330 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,468 but we're gonna need some privacy. 331 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,169 I found it last week. 332 00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:45,172 Your mom's phone still had battery. 333 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,087 They just... 334 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,176 left it here. 335 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,091 Cool. 336 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:54,007 ♪ 337 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,923 [bird squawking] 338 00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:59,882 ♪ 339 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:03,407 [radio squealing] 340 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,627 Okay. 341 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,847 All right, where are we going, General? 342 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,284 ♪ 343 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:11,807 [static whirs] No. 344 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,723 No, no, no. No, don't die on me now. 345 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:17,247 Come on. 346 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,946 ♪ 347 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,644 [whirring stops] 348 00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:25,516 Damn it! [sighs] 349 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,215 Where the hell am I gonna find a new dish? 350 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:30,130 [sighs] 351 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,262 ♪ 352 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,264 I feel bad doing this. 353 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,397 ♪ 354 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,920 Why aren't you looking? 355 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,966 It's against my religion to look at the naked back 356 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,925 of a man who's not my relative or my husband. 357 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,145 Plus, it's disgusting. 358 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,016 Is it gonna hurt? 359 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,062 My mom says when she waxes her legs, 360 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:52,804 it feels like being stung by a thousand hornets. 361 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,589 Then why does she do it? 362 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,765 Because as soon as we hit puberty, 363 00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,986 Western culture tells women we're not okay as we are. 364 00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,945 We must rip out stuff that's supposed to be there, 365 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,121 insert stuff that's not supposed to be there, 366 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:08,864 and bleach everything visible to the naked eye. 367 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,040 Hey, being a man is hard, too. 368 00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,564 I have to brush my teeth sometimes. 369 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:17,786 I take it back. I don't feel bad anymore. 370 00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:21,790 [strip tears] - [echoing] Aah! 371 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,272 Miguel... 372 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,578 my belle. 373 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,363 What the hell did you just call me? 374 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,581 No, nothing, bro-ham. 375 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:34,020 Just, uh, taking a little breaky, you know? 376 00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:36,196 A little break-a-rindo. 377 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,154 [object squeaks] 378 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,503 Dog toy. 379 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,375 Oh, you got one of those, uh, Zen gardens. 380 00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:43,029 I love these things. 381 00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:45,422 May I? [chuckles] 382 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:50,732 Yep. Yeah, more, uh, relaxed already. 383 00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:53,648 So, um, I was just wondering-- 384 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:58,827 I'll--I'll get that. 385 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:01,351 Hey, uh, you ever tried those wheat beers? 386 00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:03,527 You know, the one where you put the lemon in there? 387 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,181 I hear they're, uh-- they're pretty tasty. 388 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,661 What do you want, bro-ham? 389 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,229 What, are you asking me out on a date or something? 390 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,927 No, no. Uh, well, yeah. 391 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,495 Uh, but a guy date-- guy hang, you know? 392 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:17,541 Just a couple brews, mano a mano, 393 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:20,066 "caliente accione." 394 00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,763 Look, I ain't got time for that, okay? 395 00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,243 I take care of my father at home. 396 00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:24,679 Sure. 397 00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,028 Now, I need you to clean up all this damn sand 398 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,421 'cause I need 30 minutes of raking every day 399 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:28,683 so I can relax. 400 00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,685 I happen to know that Lewis would love 401 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,817 to get out of the house and have a beer. 402 00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,040 I'll think about it. How about that? 403 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:40,695 I'll--I'll think about it. - He'll definitely be there. 404 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,785 ♪ I've got you stuck in my head ♪ 405 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,700 Thanks for letting us crash your party. 406 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,441 The more, the merrier. 407 00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:49,660 You know, a few GN59s ago, 408 00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:51,793 we actually needed a few extra people 409 00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:54,491 and a wheelbarrow to carry D'arcy home. 410 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:55,971 - Oh, wait. No. - [chuckles] 411 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,278 Yeah. [grunts] I came prepared this time. 412 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,802 I might need to make a quick getaway, so... 413 00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:03,283 Hey. Hi. - [gasps] Hi. 414 00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,806 [both smooch] 415 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,634 - Hi. - Hi, this is my cousin Carlyn. 416 00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,070 - Hi. Kayla. - Hey. 417 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,811 - Nice to meet you. - Are you okay? What happened? 418 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,160 Yeah, is everything okay with Shane? 419 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:12,422 Yes. Yeah, he's fine. 420 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,641 I just needed to get out of the house. 421 00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:15,773 Oh, okay, I was worried. 422 00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:18,298 Can I just say-- as a mom, I'm with you. 423 00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:21,388 Sometimes needing to get out of the house is an emergency. 424 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:22,867 Yes. Yes, thank you. 425 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,479 You know, you just need a kid- and a man-free zone. 426 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,002 - Mm-hmm. - Amen to that. 427 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,004 I mean, I don't have a kid or a man, 428 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,834 but, you know, anecdotal evidence would support that. 429 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:35,271 The town I live in, all the men really suck. 430 00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,621 My lab supervisor thinks grabbing my buttocks 431 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:38,796 is one of his job perks. 432 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,189 - Ew. - I was really beginning 433 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:42,322 to think I was never gonna meet a nice guy. 434 00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,932 Till today, that is. 435 00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,803 - Wait, you met a guy here? - Mm-hmm. 436 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,327 - Today? - In Patience? 437 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,677 - Mm-hmm. - No way. Who? 438 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,246 [upbeat jazzy music] 439 00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,769 - Jesus God. - Oh. 440 00:17:54,812 --> 00:18:01,080 ♪ 441 00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:07,825 ♪ I've got you stuck in my head ♪ 442 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:11,133 [upbeat jazzy music] 443 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:12,874 What are you doing here? 444 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,876 You told me that every minute you're not working on the radio 445 00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:18,314 is a minute we all come closer to certain death. 446 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,360 I am working on the radio, 447 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,232 but without a diffuser, it will never work. 448 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:26,148 The pony-haired one's cousin 449 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:29,151 is a scientist in a lab... 450 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,675 that uses portable diffusers. 451 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:33,503 So what? 452 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:37,028 I know that I am not as pretty as E.T. 453 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,508 [chuckles] 454 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,641 I do not have his bulbous football head 455 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:44,123 or his squat corgi legs or his... 456 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,212 platypus feet, 457 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,867 but I can be a charming alien 458 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,479 when I need to be. 459 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:53,697 Mm, mm, mm. 460 00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,657 ♪ When you were here before ♪ 461 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,876 [soft music] 462 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,878 So do you come here a lot? 463 00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,533 ♪ 464 00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:05,361 Mm. 465 00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,668 Of all the gin joints in all the world, 466 00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:10,061 this one is closest to my house. 467 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,933 [laughing] 468 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,022 [laughing awkwardly] 469 00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:18,635 ♪ 470 00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:23,031 ♪ I wish I was special 471 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,728 ♪ You're so very... 472 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,991 What is that perfume? 473 00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:30,386 Jergens Intense Moisture Therapy. 474 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:33,824 I did a BM earlier, so I had to wash them. 475 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,130 I get acute dermatitis 476 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,088 'cause I scrub them so often in the lab, 477 00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,395 so I carry it in my purse. 478 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:43,704 Mm. I don't wash my hands after I urinate. 479 00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:49,405 The skin on my penis is very clean. 480 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:55,803 ♪ I don't belong here 481 00:19:55,846 --> 00:20:01,112 ♪ 482 00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:02,592 Gram keeps asking about Harry. 483 00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:05,160 - Uh-huh. - I think she likes him. 484 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,118 I think she wants you to have his baby. 485 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:09,033 - Ew! Gross! Shut up! - [chuckles] 486 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,818 You shut up. 487 00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,123 Hey, actually, can I ask 488 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,951 your professional opinion about something? 489 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:15,431 Mm-hmm. 490 00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,390 What do you think is gonna happen to Abigail Hodges? 491 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,608 You know, Sam's wife? 492 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,958 Um, you think she's gonna go to jail? 493 00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:22,960 You know, criminal law isn't really my area, 494 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,440 but from what I've read, 495 00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,007 I don't think they're gonna get a conviction. 496 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,922 - Oh. - Yeah, sorry. 497 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,445 - No, that's good. - Oh. 498 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,839 Um, you know, I mean, if she--if she didn't do it. 499 00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:34,276 Oh, but she probably did. I mean, it's always the spouse. 500 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,321 I'm a lawyer, too. 501 00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:36,931 No way. Where do you practice? 502 00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,498 I don't. 503 00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:41,805 I gave up my dream to be a mom and live in this tiny town. 504 00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:43,372 Now I'm happy. Shots? 505 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,462 ♪ 506 00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:49,073 I would like to... 507 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:51,728 go by your work. 508 00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,035 Maybe you could give me a tour of your lab. 509 00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:55,471 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 510 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:56,907 I love that you're interested. 511 00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,866 That's very flattering, but I can't. 512 00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:00,389 Oh. 513 00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:04,480 Security is so tight, not dissimilar to my vagina. 514 00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:06,526 Your vagina is like a lab? 515 00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:10,965 Yeah, it's-- it's tough to get in. 516 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,271 It is? 517 00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:14,490 Lots of neat stuff once you're there. 518 00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:17,580 - Are there monkeys in cages? - No. 519 00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:21,323 Maybe it would be funny... 520 00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:22,542 Ha ha ha! 521 00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:25,196 A big joke if you stole 522 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,852 a telemetry diffuser... - [laughs] 523 00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:30,985 And gave it to me. 524 00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:33,683 [both laughing] - They would freak out. 525 00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:37,078 They would freak out. You could be so funny. 526 00:21:37,121 --> 00:21:39,776 You're a kidder. - [laughs] 527 00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:42,257 You should do it. 528 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,346 - Oh, my God. - Do it! 529 00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:47,044 - [laughs] No. - Do it. 530 00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:49,743 But you are so sweet to ask. 531 00:21:49,786 --> 00:21:51,832 ♪ 532 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:53,834 [clears throat] 533 00:21:53,877 --> 00:21:59,230 ♪ 534 00:21:59,274 --> 00:22:01,624 Oh. [objects clatter] 535 00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,800 [indistinct chatter] 536 00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:05,715 [rock music] 537 00:22:05,759 --> 00:22:08,675 [cell phone chimes] - [sighs] Hey, is that Liv? 538 00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:10,546 Tell her to hurry up. She's late. 539 00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:13,157 Uh, no, it's just Jay. Just guy drama. 540 00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:16,335 Oh. Wow, you--you guys text? 541 00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:18,946 Yeah, mostly emojis. Mostly eggplants. 542 00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:21,818 Wow, that's cool. You guys are buddies now. 543 00:22:21,862 --> 00:22:24,168 Hey, GN59rs. 544 00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:25,561 all: Hey! - Sorry, I'm late! 545 00:22:25,605 --> 00:22:27,607 Trixie wouldn't start. I had to jump her again. 546 00:22:27,650 --> 00:22:29,217 Thank God you're finally here. 547 00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:31,393 Hey-o! Sorry! I'm late, too. 548 00:22:31,437 --> 00:22:34,701 But I'm here, though, finally, right? 549 00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:37,443 Ooh, thank you. I could use that. 550 00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:40,228 That's-- Never mind. 551 00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:41,664 Ugh, what is that? 552 00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:43,405 It's a gin and tonic. 553 00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:44,972 [spits] both: Oh. 554 00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:46,930 Ugh, it's, like, fancy. 555 00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:49,411 Okay, I got to piss. I'll be back. 556 00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:51,413 [scattered laughter] 557 00:22:51,457 --> 00:22:53,110 - You text her? - No! 558 00:22:53,154 --> 00:22:56,244 How does she always know? - She always knows. 559 00:22:56,287 --> 00:22:58,899 ♪ 560 00:22:58,942 --> 00:23:00,596 All right. 561 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,859 All right, this is great. 562 00:23:02,903 --> 00:23:04,861 Nope, wife in the corner. We're out of here. 563 00:23:04,905 --> 00:23:06,559 Where else do you plan to go, son? 564 00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:09,126 This isn't New York City. 565 00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:11,433 Hey! Benny! 566 00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:13,609 Your girl's safe with me, okay? 567 00:23:13,653 --> 00:23:16,307 But am I safe with her? - Oh. 568 00:23:16,351 --> 00:23:18,484 [mouthing words] 569 00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:20,660 Do you have any beer with rat poison in it? 570 00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:24,403 - [speaks indistinctly] - [clears throat] 571 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:26,492 ♪ Swing, little darling 572 00:23:26,535 --> 00:23:28,581 ♪ Swing until your daddy come home ♪ 573 00:23:28,624 --> 00:23:30,191 Kate, you did good. 574 00:23:30,234 --> 00:23:33,150 It was so nice of Ben to take the Sheriff out for a drink. 575 00:23:33,194 --> 00:23:34,717 Ben is so sweet. 576 00:23:34,761 --> 00:23:37,459 No, he's not. He's a dirty little bitch. 577 00:23:37,503 --> 00:23:39,461 - Hmm. - I'm sorry? 578 00:23:39,505 --> 00:23:42,508 [chuckles] Gird your loins, ladies. 579 00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:44,379 I think Kendra has arrived. - Oh, yeah. 580 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,687 The mayor is a nasty piece of work. 581 00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:49,732 I cannot wait to get home 582 00:23:49,776 --> 00:23:51,647 and let him slap a puppy hood on me 583 00:23:51,691 --> 00:23:53,214 and jam a ball gag in my mouth. 584 00:23:53,257 --> 00:23:54,520 Oh, what? 585 00:23:54,563 --> 00:23:57,479 Ben-- the one who makes candles? 586 00:23:57,523 --> 00:24:00,003 Uh, the wax he has isn't just for candles. 587 00:24:00,047 --> 00:24:02,789 I have a nine-inch ice dildo in my freezer 588 00:24:02,832 --> 00:24:04,747 that Max thinks is for my water bottles. 589 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:07,489 [laughter] 590 00:24:07,533 --> 00:24:09,360 Oh, God, this is my favorite night. 591 00:24:09,404 --> 00:24:11,493 This is the best night of my life. 592 00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:13,843 Can you please stop looking at your wife? 593 00:24:13,887 --> 00:24:15,802 It's weird. - Look, I, uh-- 594 00:24:15,845 --> 00:24:17,630 I got to talk to you about something. 595 00:24:17,673 --> 00:24:19,632 It's driving me crazy. 596 00:24:19,675 --> 00:24:22,025 Okay, so, about a week ago, 597 00:24:22,069 --> 00:24:24,680 D'arcy sort of... 598 00:24:24,724 --> 00:24:27,335 kissed me. - [chuckles] 599 00:24:27,378 --> 00:24:30,033 It was a drive-by. Not my fault. 600 00:24:30,077 --> 00:24:32,471 No tongue. 601 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,994 Some tongue. 602 00:24:34,037 --> 00:24:36,562 I just--I really think that I should tell Kate. 603 00:24:36,605 --> 00:24:38,520 Have you-- have you lost your mind? 604 00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:40,217 You don't ever tell, never. 605 00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:42,655 Now, hold on a minute--the man said he didn't reciprocate. 606 00:24:42,698 --> 00:24:44,134 It don't matter. 607 00:24:44,178 --> 00:24:45,832 This is something you take to your grave, okay? 608 00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,660 Well, maybe I could, um-- 609 00:24:47,703 --> 00:24:48,878 I could write her a note, 610 00:24:48,922 --> 00:24:50,706 you know, explaining what happened. 611 00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:52,316 You want to-- you want to write her a note? 612 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,493 Okay. All right, look, here's what I want you to do. 613 00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:55,842 Here go $5. 614 00:24:55,885 --> 00:24:57,713 Now, I want you to go down to the mall. 615 00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:59,367 All right, you know that kiosk 616 00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,064 where they'll write your name on a grain of rice? 617 00:25:01,108 --> 00:25:02,675 Right, you're gonna give that guy that $5. 618 00:25:02,718 --> 00:25:04,590 He gonna write your note on the end of a bullet, right? 619 00:25:04,633 --> 00:25:06,069 Now, I want you to take that bullet. 620 00:25:06,113 --> 00:25:07,549 I want you to put it in a gun and go home 621 00:25:07,593 --> 00:25:08,898 and stand in your bathtub. 622 00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:10,421 Now, you also gonna need a phone book-- 623 00:25:10,465 --> 00:25:11,814 not something thin like Patience, 624 00:25:11,858 --> 00:25:14,382 something with some girth like--like Denver, right? 625 00:25:14,425 --> 00:25:15,644 And you gonna put that phone book 626 00:25:15,688 --> 00:25:16,863 up against one side of your head, 627 00:25:16,906 --> 00:25:18,125 and you gonna take that gun 628 00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:19,822 and put it against the other side, right? 629 00:25:19,866 --> 00:25:21,520 And then you're gonna shoot you right in the head, 630 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,870 and that bullet's gonna fly right through and lodge itself 631 00:25:23,913 --> 00:25:26,786 right around the D's, for dumbass. 632 00:25:26,829 --> 00:25:28,396 And she'll get your note. 633 00:25:28,439 --> 00:25:31,007 ♪ 634 00:25:31,051 --> 00:25:32,052 But I'm dead. 635 00:25:32,095 --> 00:25:34,184 You tell her, you dead anyway. 636 00:25:34,228 --> 00:25:36,970 [laughter] 637 00:25:37,013 --> 00:25:40,582 You guys, what the hell is happening over there? 638 00:25:40,626 --> 00:25:43,803 Ooh, I think we know what's going to happen. 639 00:25:43,846 --> 00:25:46,675 all: Oh... - I don't--I don't trust him. 640 00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:49,504 Your pulse is quickening. 641 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:52,420 Your upper sternum is becoming flushed. 642 00:25:52,463 --> 00:25:54,857 You are becoming aroused. 643 00:25:54,901 --> 00:25:56,729 - I am now. - Hey, Harry. 644 00:25:56,772 --> 00:25:58,644 Can I please talk to you for a second? 645 00:25:58,687 --> 00:26:01,734 - I am so busy. - Now. 646 00:26:01,777 --> 00:26:04,301 ♪ 647 00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:05,651 Don't go changing. 648 00:26:05,694 --> 00:26:09,393 ♪ 649 00:26:09,437 --> 00:26:10,960 What is it? 650 00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:14,616 She is about to present like an engorged macaque. 651 00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:17,184 You are preying on this woman. 652 00:26:17,227 --> 00:26:18,664 I am not preying on her. 653 00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:21,318 I am seducing her so I can steal her security badge, 654 00:26:21,362 --> 00:26:25,671 then I can break into the lab and steal a diffuser, 655 00:26:25,714 --> 00:26:28,325 and then finish my radio. 656 00:26:28,369 --> 00:26:29,631 That's a terrible plan. 657 00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:31,677 You're gonna swipe her badge 658 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,983 and--and just use it at some high-security lab 659 00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:35,594 and think no one will notice? 660 00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:36,986 More importantly, 661 00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:39,510 you--you can't just use people like that. 662 00:26:39,554 --> 00:26:41,338 It's cruel. 663 00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:43,514 I am giving her compliments. 664 00:26:43,558 --> 00:26:46,648 She is happy like a baby, 665 00:26:46,692 --> 00:26:49,520 like a stupid, happy baby. 666 00:26:49,564 --> 00:26:54,351 You'll just never understand what it's like to be a woman. 667 00:26:54,395 --> 00:26:56,136 That is true. 668 00:26:56,179 --> 00:26:59,792 ♪ 669 00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:02,055 I am going to leave now. 670 00:27:04,013 --> 00:27:05,754 Good night! 671 00:27:07,190 --> 00:27:09,715 - Wait, what just happened? - Uh... 672 00:27:09,758 --> 00:27:12,718 - What--what did I do? - Nothing. I'm sorry. 673 00:27:12,761 --> 00:27:15,764 [sighs] All the men in this town suck, too. 674 00:27:15,808 --> 00:27:18,941 ♪ 675 00:27:23,206 --> 00:27:26,645 [excited chatter, dance music playing] 676 00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:30,997 ♪ 677 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,346 Don't sweat it, Carly Q. 678 00:27:32,389 --> 00:27:34,087 It's supposed to be a girls' night anyway. 679 00:27:34,130 --> 00:27:35,523 Yeah, that's easy for you to say. 680 00:27:35,566 --> 00:27:37,307 I saw that ice dildo in your freezer. 681 00:27:37,351 --> 00:27:39,614 - Whoo! - Okay, all right. 682 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,268 Okay, uh, Judy's clothes are coming off. 683 00:27:41,311 --> 00:27:43,183 Time to go to the yacht spot. Come on. 684 00:27:43,226 --> 00:27:44,837 Ooh, we're going on a boat? 685 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,621 Uh, no, Asta used to have this station wagon 686 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:48,449 we called "The Yacht," and we'd drive it 687 00:27:48,492 --> 00:27:51,147 to the middle of the woods and drink and sing like idiots. 688 00:27:51,191 --> 00:27:52,714 And, plus, it's where I usually barf, 689 00:27:52,758 --> 00:27:54,455 so it's kind of like a boat in that way. 690 00:27:54,498 --> 00:27:55,804 - Oh. - I should go. 691 00:27:55,848 --> 00:27:57,806 You know, I got to get up early and drive, so... 692 00:27:57,850 --> 00:27:59,068 all: No. 693 00:27:59,112 --> 00:28:00,548 Okay. Well, I'll come with you. 694 00:28:00,591 --> 00:28:02,202 No, no, no, you stay. I'm fine. 695 00:28:02,245 --> 00:28:04,465 - You sure? - Uh, she's sure. 696 00:28:04,508 --> 00:28:06,380 When you brought ice dildos into this conversation, 697 00:28:06,423 --> 00:28:08,034 you made a commitment to this night. 698 00:28:08,077 --> 00:28:09,383 [laughter] 699 00:28:09,426 --> 00:28:11,864 This takes me back, man. You want to go back? 700 00:28:11,907 --> 00:28:14,214 [chuckles] 701 00:28:14,257 --> 00:28:17,391 What? Oh, Jesus Christ. 702 00:28:17,434 --> 00:28:20,394 - You feel it, Sheriff? - Ah... 703 00:28:20,437 --> 00:28:23,440 - You want to feel it? - Oh, Lord, have mercy. 704 00:28:23,484 --> 00:28:25,094 Aw, come on. Dance with the girl. 705 00:28:25,138 --> 00:28:26,226 Is that what you call it? 706 00:28:26,269 --> 00:28:28,445 Hey, don't be pushing me off the stool. 707 00:28:28,489 --> 00:28:31,318 What's wrong with you? Okay. All right, yeah, go ahead. 708 00:28:31,361 --> 00:28:33,929 Hey, hon, you, uh--you heading home to pay the sitter? 709 00:28:33,973 --> 00:28:37,541 Nope, you pay her. We are going to the yacht spot. 710 00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:40,240 - [chuckles] - Ooh. 711 00:28:40,283 --> 00:28:43,373 I cannot wait for the re-election campaign. 712 00:28:43,417 --> 00:28:45,767 It's--Respect, okay? 713 00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:47,638 - We're so proud of you. - I'm really proud of you. 714 00:28:47,682 --> 00:28:50,076 Do you need--do you need ice in that drink? 715 00:28:50,119 --> 00:28:52,818 Oh, yeah. [laughing] 716 00:28:52,861 --> 00:28:56,430 Tell me more about the guy who does the rice thing. 717 00:28:56,473 --> 00:28:59,912 [upbeat hip-hop music] 718 00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:07,136 ♪ 719 00:29:18,104 --> 00:29:22,195 [reggae music] 720 00:29:22,238 --> 00:29:29,332 ♪ 721 00:29:29,376 --> 00:29:31,944 You remember class camping trips out here? 722 00:29:31,987 --> 00:29:33,815 [chuckles] Yes. 723 00:29:33,859 --> 00:29:37,123 Third grade, D'arcy rolling in poison ivy... 724 00:29:37,166 --> 00:29:39,125 on a dare. - [chuckles] 725 00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:41,127 We had to take turns itching her. 726 00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:43,825 [laughter] - Oh, my God. 727 00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:45,958 Oh. 728 00:29:46,001 --> 00:29:48,830 She's always been so her. 729 00:29:48,874 --> 00:29:50,876 She's free. 730 00:29:50,919 --> 00:29:53,226 Not everyone can be like that. 731 00:29:54,531 --> 00:29:57,447 Everyone loves her. 732 00:29:57,491 --> 00:30:00,320 It's a superpower... 733 00:30:00,363 --> 00:30:03,236 not caring what anyone thinks. 734 00:30:05,020 --> 00:30:06,717 Everyone loves you, too. 735 00:30:06,761 --> 00:30:10,156 Yes, but it's only because I'm nice. 736 00:30:10,199 --> 00:30:11,505 [scoffs] 737 00:30:11,548 --> 00:30:13,507 You gave me a ticket once 738 00:30:13,550 --> 00:30:15,509 for locking my bike to a stop sign. 739 00:30:15,552 --> 00:30:18,425 You're not that nice. [both chuckle] 740 00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:21,994 ♪ 741 00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:24,997 [both trilling tongue goofily] 742 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,564 ♪ 743 00:30:27,608 --> 00:30:30,132 [music skipping] - Oh, Christ on a cracker! 744 00:30:30,176 --> 00:30:31,568 - What? - No! 745 00:30:31,612 --> 00:30:32,700 No! [all groan] 746 00:30:32,743 --> 00:30:35,268 Oh, relax, you complete degenerates. 747 00:30:35,311 --> 00:30:38,358 I keep a battery charger in my trunk! 748 00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:41,013 [all booing] - Poop car! Poop car! 749 00:30:41,056 --> 00:30:44,538 Oh, Liv, I can't believe you still drive this death trap. 750 00:30:44,581 --> 00:30:46,975 Oh, it's fine. I'm used to it. 751 00:30:47,019 --> 00:30:49,978 You know, I read recently that they make new cars now. 752 00:30:50,022 --> 00:30:54,200 [chuckles] John wants a new riding mower, 753 00:30:54,243 --> 00:30:56,550 and we have money set aside for that, so... 754 00:30:56,593 --> 00:30:58,421 John's getting a new riding mower 755 00:30:58,465 --> 00:31:00,249 before you get a car that actually works? 756 00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:01,642 Well, it was my idea. 757 00:31:01,685 --> 00:31:03,513 He makes more than I do, so it's fair. 758 00:31:03,557 --> 00:31:06,038 Hold up. John makes more than you? 759 00:31:06,081 --> 00:31:07,735 I do what John does. 760 00:31:07,778 --> 00:31:09,737 You put your life on the line every day. 761 00:31:09,780 --> 00:31:13,219 When--when's the last time you got a raise? 762 00:31:13,262 --> 00:31:15,395 I've never gotten a raise. 763 00:31:15,438 --> 00:31:17,092 What? all: Oh. 764 00:31:17,136 --> 00:31:19,747 - Okay, no, no. - Wow. 765 00:31:19,790 --> 00:31:22,054 [whispering] I'm not sure this is a good idea. 766 00:31:22,097 --> 00:31:24,621 Oh, it's not, but we're doing it anyway. 767 00:31:24,665 --> 00:31:25,927 As a city employee, 768 00:31:25,971 --> 00:31:27,929 your salary is part of the town's budget. 769 00:31:27,973 --> 00:31:30,758 So we got to figure out how big is this pie 770 00:31:30,801 --> 00:31:32,803 and why is your piece so goddamn small. 771 00:31:32,847 --> 00:31:35,763 [gasps] Especially when you're a freakin' Picasso. 772 00:31:35,806 --> 00:31:38,331 [person gasps] Did you draw this picture? 773 00:31:38,374 --> 00:31:40,986 Yeah, I draw police composites of criminals, 774 00:31:41,029 --> 00:31:42,335 which we are now. 775 00:31:42,378 --> 00:31:45,599 Hey! This is my husband's office, okay? 776 00:31:45,642 --> 00:31:47,296 We can be wherever we want. 777 00:31:47,340 --> 00:31:49,995 We didn't technically break in, because we had a key. 778 00:31:50,038 --> 00:31:51,648 [liquid splashing] 779 00:31:51,692 --> 00:31:52,954 - Judy! - Judy! 780 00:31:52,998 --> 00:31:55,783 Shh! Stop! 781 00:31:55,826 --> 00:31:57,263 Wait, found it, found it, found it. 782 00:31:57,306 --> 00:32:00,614 "Civic Payroll for the Town of Patience, Colorado." 783 00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:02,050 No one's gonna know. 784 00:32:02,094 --> 00:32:03,356 As a woman in this world, 785 00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:06,315 you need to fight for what you deserve. 786 00:32:06,359 --> 00:32:10,058 And you deserve a goddamn raise. 787 00:32:10,102 --> 00:32:13,714 Ugh. Jesus Christ! Who's Peter Jignac? 788 00:32:13,757 --> 00:32:16,195 I think he's, um, a crossing guard, I think. 789 00:32:16,238 --> 00:32:18,110 He makes enough for a new riding mower and a new car. 790 00:32:18,153 --> 00:32:19,502 What? 791 00:32:19,546 --> 00:32:21,809 - Who's Brandon Touter? - Oh. 792 00:32:21,852 --> 00:32:23,506 He's the new science teacher. 793 00:32:23,550 --> 00:32:25,421 He's actually a really nice guy. 794 00:32:25,465 --> 00:32:27,119 Well, he makes twice what you do. 795 00:32:27,162 --> 00:32:29,382 - [gasps] - Prick. 796 00:32:29,425 --> 00:32:31,297 What? Weren't you a lawyer? 797 00:32:31,340 --> 00:32:34,082 - - I have a JD/ - PhD. What the ----? 798 00:32:34,126 --> 00:32:37,259 Who the hell is in charge of this budget? 799 00:32:37,303 --> 00:32:39,000 I know who. 800 00:32:39,044 --> 00:32:41,263 He lives in my goddamn house. - [gasps] 801 00:32:41,307 --> 00:32:44,527 ♪ For all the ones who bum me out ♪ 802 00:32:44,571 --> 00:32:46,181 ♪ Shit list 803 00:32:46,225 --> 00:32:48,618 ♪ For all the ones who fill my head with doubt ♪ 804 00:32:48,662 --> 00:32:50,055 ♪ Shit list 805 00:32:50,098 --> 00:32:52,274 ♪ For all the squares who get me pissed ♪ 806 00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:53,493 ♪ Shit list 807 00:32:53,536 --> 00:32:56,104 ♪ You've made my shit list 808 00:32:56,148 --> 00:33:01,283 ♪ Shit list 809 00:33:01,327 --> 00:33:06,158 ♪ 810 00:33:06,201 --> 00:33:07,289 [inhales sharply] 811 00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:09,813 [shouts] Kidnappers! 812 00:33:09,857 --> 00:33:12,120 [person chuckles] - Oh, no. Oh, no. Nope. 813 00:33:12,164 --> 00:33:13,687 Wake up. 814 00:33:13,730 --> 00:33:15,689 You're not having a nightmare, Ben. We are. 815 00:33:15,732 --> 00:33:17,038 You know what's a nightmare? 816 00:33:17,082 --> 00:33:19,823 Getting paid 76 cents on the dollar. 817 00:33:19,867 --> 00:33:20,824 What? 818 00:33:20,868 --> 00:33:22,304 Yeah, there is a blatant pay gap 819 00:33:22,348 --> 00:33:24,567 between the male and female employees of this town. 820 00:33:24,611 --> 00:33:27,527 What? No, a-a-as mayor, I only sign off on budgets-- 821 00:33:27,570 --> 00:33:29,833 A-a-as mayor, you need to fix this! 822 00:33:29,877 --> 00:33:31,052 Mm-hmm. 823 00:33:31,096 --> 00:33:32,532 Yeah, the blatant sexism makes me sick. 824 00:33:32,575 --> 00:33:34,055 - Yeah, damn right. - Sick. 825 00:33:34,099 --> 00:33:35,404 - Oh, honey. - It's really gross. 826 00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:36,536 - Sick to my stomach. - No, no. 827 00:33:36,579 --> 00:33:38,712 - Oh. - Oh, God, no. 828 00:33:38,755 --> 00:33:41,323 - [retching] - Oh. 829 00:33:41,367 --> 00:33:42,933 You're my best friend. 830 00:33:42,977 --> 00:33:44,674 - That's right. - I love you. 831 00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:46,285 - You see that? - It's coming up. 832 00:33:46,328 --> 00:33:48,722 [coughing] 833 00:33:48,765 --> 00:33:50,158 - [groans] - It hurts. 834 00:33:52,508 --> 00:33:54,206 [knock at door] 835 00:33:54,249 --> 00:33:55,990 Harry. 836 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:57,992 I brought coffee. 837 00:33:58,036 --> 00:33:59,646 [groans] 838 00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:02,301 We're gonna need to make a plan about that radio-- 839 00:34:02,344 --> 00:34:04,042 Oh, God! 840 00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:06,392 No! Don't tell me you hooked up with Harry. 841 00:34:06,435 --> 00:34:08,437 Okay, I will not. 842 00:34:13,442 --> 00:34:15,053 Wait. 843 00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:18,056 [quirky music] 844 00:34:18,099 --> 00:34:25,019 ♪ 845 00:34:26,629 --> 00:34:28,457 Harry? - Hi, Asta. 846 00:34:28,501 --> 00:34:31,112 Oh, God! Shit! 847 00:34:31,156 --> 00:34:32,940 You have to come with me to New Mexico, 848 00:34:32,983 --> 00:34:35,160 but, first, can you teach me how to pee? 849 00:34:44,256 --> 00:34:47,041 She hasn't blinked the entire trip. 850 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:50,000 [dramatic music] 851 00:34:50,044 --> 00:34:52,133 ♪ 852 00:34:52,177 --> 00:34:55,136 Oh, this is wrong, Harry. 853 00:34:55,180 --> 00:34:58,313 ♪ 854 00:34:58,357 --> 00:34:59,923 Ooh. 855 00:34:59,967 --> 00:35:02,274 Ah! Wrong and super weird. 856 00:35:02,317 --> 00:35:04,537 It was your idea for me to become her. 857 00:35:04,580 --> 00:35:07,235 No, no, no, no, no, do not put this on me. 858 00:35:07,279 --> 00:35:09,237 I would never tell you to take over a woman's body 859 00:35:09,281 --> 00:35:10,891 without her consent. 860 00:35:10,934 --> 00:35:13,111 She wanted me to take over her body last night 861 00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:16,026 with my penis, but I did not do that. 862 00:35:16,070 --> 00:35:18,116 Oh, God, no. 863 00:35:18,159 --> 00:35:21,031 It's not just about her body, okay? 864 00:35:21,075 --> 00:35:23,295 It's a whole life we're invading. 865 00:35:23,338 --> 00:35:25,471 There has to be a better way. 866 00:35:25,514 --> 00:35:28,169 To access a microsatellite network in time 867 00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:30,345 to tell my people not to come here 868 00:35:30,389 --> 00:35:34,393 and melt you all like crayons in a hot car? 869 00:35:34,436 --> 00:35:35,916 I'll wait. 870 00:35:35,959 --> 00:35:38,005 [sighs] Shit. 871 00:35:38,048 --> 00:35:40,964 Shit. Shit. 872 00:35:41,008 --> 00:35:43,967 - Right here? - No, no, Harry. 873 00:35:44,011 --> 00:35:46,187 Let's just get this over with. 874 00:35:46,231 --> 00:35:47,710 That's what you were wearing last night, 875 00:35:47,754 --> 00:35:49,843 so you have to go change before you get to the lab. 876 00:35:49,886 --> 00:35:52,454 This body is quite stout. 877 00:35:52,498 --> 00:35:54,064 Hurry. 878 00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:55,849 Fine. 879 00:35:55,892 --> 00:35:57,633 This doesn't make any sense. 880 00:35:57,677 --> 00:35:59,026 This says plasma levels 881 00:35:59,069 --> 00:36:01,637 of testosterone and triiodothyronine 882 00:36:01,681 --> 00:36:03,683 were diminished after space flight, 883 00:36:03,726 --> 00:36:06,120 but it seems like your testosterone levels 884 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,948 are getting higher. 885 00:36:07,991 --> 00:36:09,297 What am I missing? 886 00:36:09,341 --> 00:36:13,171 I mean, do you feel like it's accelerating? 887 00:36:13,214 --> 00:36:16,130 [smooth music] 888 00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:19,960 ♪ 889 00:36:20,003 --> 00:36:22,267 Why are you looking at me like that? 890 00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:24,356 Hello, pretty lady. 891 00:36:25,618 --> 00:36:28,011 Oh, no! 892 00:36:28,055 --> 00:36:29,839 So is this it now? 893 00:36:29,883 --> 00:36:31,972 You're just gonna change into different people 894 00:36:32,015 --> 00:36:33,191 whenever you want? 895 00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:35,236 Under normal circumstances, 896 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,673 it is too difficult to do often, 897 00:36:37,717 --> 00:36:40,154 but the energy balls from my ship 898 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,461 make it effortless, 899 00:36:42,504 --> 00:36:46,247 and they work on the organic matter in clothing as well. 900 00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:48,423 Except I think it got my bra size wrong. 901 00:36:48,467 --> 00:36:51,383 The wire leaves dents in my skin. 902 00:36:51,426 --> 00:36:54,647 Yeah, well, wait until you put on a thong. 903 00:36:54,690 --> 00:36:57,650 [dramatic music] 904 00:36:57,693 --> 00:37:01,175 ♪ 905 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:05,005 [device beeping] 906 00:37:05,048 --> 00:37:12,142 ♪ 907 00:37:16,712 --> 00:37:18,671 [device beeps] 908 00:37:18,714 --> 00:37:25,634 ♪ 909 00:37:32,032 --> 00:37:34,295 Oh, yes. 910 00:37:34,339 --> 00:37:39,431 ♪ 911 00:37:39,474 --> 00:37:43,348 Working late, Carlyn, my darlin'? 912 00:37:45,132 --> 00:37:47,569 I'm just trying to... 913 00:37:47,613 --> 00:37:50,790 bring home the salt-cured pork slices. 914 00:37:50,833 --> 00:37:52,574 [grunts] 915 00:37:52,618 --> 00:37:54,446 Good night. 916 00:37:54,489 --> 00:37:58,754 Why don't you stick around for a bit? 917 00:37:58,798 --> 00:38:02,105 [Diplomats of Solid Sound's "No Man"] 918 00:38:02,149 --> 00:38:06,022 ♪ I think you got it all figured out ♪ 919 00:38:06,066 --> 00:38:11,245 - [choking] - ♪ But you ain't got a clue 920 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,900 Aah! 921 00:38:13,943 --> 00:38:17,686 [screaming] 922 00:38:17,730 --> 00:38:20,689 ♪ When's gonna be the time I say enough is enough? ♪ 923 00:38:20,733 --> 00:38:22,474 [screaming] 924 00:38:22,517 --> 00:38:24,606 ♪ I ain't nobody's sucker 925 00:38:24,650 --> 00:38:27,783 ♪ Nobody's gonna stand in my way ♪ 926 00:38:30,046 --> 00:38:33,223 [soft music] 927 00:38:33,267 --> 00:38:40,187 ♪ 928 00:38:40,230 --> 00:38:42,407 Are you sure she's not gonna feel any different? 929 00:38:42,450 --> 00:38:43,930 [sighs] 930 00:38:43,973 --> 00:38:45,714 I mean, what does she think happened to her 931 00:38:45,758 --> 00:38:46,933 in the last 24 hours? 932 00:38:46,976 --> 00:38:49,283 She will remember going to sleep 933 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:52,765 at Mayor Snowflake's house, driving home in the morning, 934 00:38:52,808 --> 00:38:55,115 and then having a pleasant nap on the couch. 935 00:38:55,158 --> 00:38:57,726 Long nap. 936 00:38:57,770 --> 00:39:00,163 She likes long naps. 937 00:39:00,207 --> 00:39:03,471 And it is better than being awake for her real life. 938 00:39:03,515 --> 00:39:06,605 Her boss is a bad man. 939 00:39:06,648 --> 00:39:08,389 Yeah, she said something about that. 940 00:39:08,433 --> 00:39:12,611 Mm. He will not bother her again. 941 00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:13,960 What did you do? 942 00:39:14,003 --> 00:39:16,397 The same thing you would have done... 943 00:39:16,441 --> 00:39:19,618 if you had the strength of six gorillas. 944 00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:21,794 I am glad to be out of her body. 945 00:39:21,837 --> 00:39:24,492 People treated it like break-room yogurt. 946 00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:25,711 [scoffs] 947 00:39:25,754 --> 00:39:27,800 Even though her name was on it, 948 00:39:27,843 --> 00:39:29,758 they felt comfortable molesting it 949 00:39:29,802 --> 00:39:32,239 when they were hungry. 950 00:39:32,282 --> 00:39:34,328 It is awful being short. 951 00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,852 Harry, that's not because she's short. 952 00:39:36,896 --> 00:39:40,465 That's being a woman. Welcome to our world. 953 00:39:40,508 --> 00:39:45,470 You mean you all feel the eyes hunting you 954 00:39:45,513 --> 00:39:48,690 like a baby deer in the woods, just walking down the street? 955 00:39:48,734 --> 00:39:50,388 Yeah. I tried to tell you. 956 00:39:50,431 --> 00:39:54,827 You know, next time a woman tries to tell you something, 957 00:39:54,870 --> 00:39:57,351 sit down, shut up, and listen. 958 00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:59,658 And if you feel the need to say anything, 959 00:39:59,701 --> 00:40:02,878 all it needs to be is, "Yes, ma'am." 960 00:40:02,922 --> 00:40:05,881 [steady music] 961 00:40:05,925 --> 00:40:13,062 ♪ 962 00:40:23,638 --> 00:40:27,120 Yes. Yes. 963 00:40:27,163 --> 00:40:29,470 Mm. 964 00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:30,950 Yes! 965 00:40:30,993 --> 00:40:33,953 [knock at door] 966 00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:37,522 [dramatic music] 967 00:40:37,565 --> 00:40:44,529 ♪ 968 00:40:44,572 --> 00:40:46,966 Sit down, space man. 969 00:40:47,009 --> 00:40:52,972 ♪ 970 00:40:55,322 --> 00:40:56,802 Sit! 971 00:40:58,412 --> 00:41:00,066 I know all about your silver balls. 972 00:41:00,109 --> 00:41:02,242 I know Max stole one, and that's why he's been acting 973 00:41:02,285 --> 00:41:04,505 like springtime lions in those nature videos, 974 00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:07,552 but I also know you knew he had a ball 975 00:41:07,595 --> 00:41:09,423 and did nothing to stop him. 976 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,947 Guess what. You're not getting your ball back. 977 00:41:11,991 --> 00:41:13,906 I've hidden it where you'll never find it, 978 00:41:13,949 --> 00:41:15,647 and I'm guessing now that it's gone, 979 00:41:15,690 --> 00:41:17,518 Max will go back to normal. 980 00:41:17,562 --> 00:41:21,870 And if he doesn't, you are going to hear from me. 981 00:41:21,914 --> 00:41:23,219 Do you understand? 982 00:41:25,439 --> 00:41:26,832 Yes, ma'am. 983 00:41:26,875 --> 00:41:31,358 ♪ 984 00:41:31,401 --> 00:41:33,578 Good. 985 00:41:33,621 --> 00:41:37,538 Humans believe they all deserve certain rights-- 986 00:41:37,582 --> 00:41:41,890 the right to be heard, the right to be respected. 987 00:41:41,934 --> 00:41:45,503 Asking for what you deserve in life should not be so hard, 988 00:41:45,546 --> 00:41:47,026 but for others, 989 00:41:47,069 --> 00:41:49,855 asking for what they deserve can be very difficult. 990 00:41:49,898 --> 00:41:52,292 ♪ 991 00:41:52,335 --> 00:41:55,251 [horn honks] - Hey, D'arce! 992 00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:57,297 Okay! Yes, girl! 993 00:41:57,340 --> 00:41:59,821 - What do you think? - Wow, very fancy, girl! 994 00:41:59,865 --> 00:42:01,127 Get your things! 995 00:42:01,170 --> 00:42:02,868 - Thank you! - Okay. 996 00:42:02,911 --> 00:42:05,044 [chuckles] 997 00:42:06,785 --> 00:42:11,311 Posting flyers is against Patience civil code 1-8-22. 998 00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:12,617 [scoffs] 999 00:42:12,660 --> 00:42:14,357 And actually getting what they deserve 1000 00:42:14,401 --> 00:42:17,491 sometimes requires an act of heroism. 1001 00:42:19,580 --> 00:42:22,627 [Ahmad Jamal's "Suicide is Painless"] 1002 00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:29,547 ♪ 1003 00:42:35,770 --> 00:42:38,381 Whoo! Ha! 1004 00:42:38,425 --> 00:42:41,123 Women of Patience, have patience no more! 1005 00:42:41,167 --> 00:42:43,778 We demand equal pay! 1006 00:42:43,822 --> 00:42:46,128 [people cheering] 1007 00:42:46,172 --> 00:42:49,523 Way to go, D'arce! 1008 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:56,486 ♪ 1009 00:43:01,187 --> 00:43:02,667 [chuckles] 1010 00:43:02,710 --> 00:43:04,930 Wow, it's D'arcy. 1011 00:43:04,973 --> 00:43:08,890 ♪ 1012 00:43:08,934 --> 00:43:12,154 God, she is incredible, don't you think? 1013 00:43:12,198 --> 00:43:14,809 Honey, there's something I got to tell you. 1014 00:43:14,853 --> 00:43:18,813 ♪ 1015 00:43:18,857 --> 00:43:20,510 What is it? 1016 00:43:20,554 --> 00:43:23,035 ♪ 1017 00:43:23,078 --> 00:43:25,080 I'm gonna have a word with the town assembly 1018 00:43:25,124 --> 00:43:27,648 and fix this pay gap. 1019 00:43:27,692 --> 00:43:29,781 Yeah, you are. 1020 00:43:29,824 --> 00:43:31,347 Wow. 1021 00:43:31,391 --> 00:43:34,699 Way to be assertive, honey. 1022 00:43:34,742 --> 00:43:36,135 It's very sexy. 1023 00:43:36,178 --> 00:43:43,316 ♪