[cheerful music plays]
[Claudia] Some people are obsessed with coffee.
They need an AeroPress, or exactly a half an inch of foam,
or it has to be made from beans
that were already digested by an ocelot or something.
But at my house, my Mimi is all about tea.
It's one of her favorite things,
and she's pretty much my favorite person in the whole world,
so I'm learning how to make it for her, the old, traditional Japanese way.
But like a lot of things that are old and traditional,
it looks simple, but it's really pretty complicated.
Much like Mimi herself.
Do over.
What? It's perfect.
You did not warm cup first.
Does it feel cold?
It doesn't matter how it feels. It's important to do.
Important now to show guest you honor them.
Warm, fresh.
It'll taste exactly the same.
-Yum. Perfect. -It's not about perfect taste, my Claudia.
It's about doing correctly.
[Claudia] Mimi had a bad stroke last year.
She leaves words out of sentences and seems a little confused sometimes,
but she'd never forget to warm a cup.
Still, she's definitely the least judgmental person in my family.
[girl] …for a seminar to…
[Claudia] And here comes the most.
…as a workshop for learning IDE for AR.
Hey, Mimi. Hey, Claudia.
[Claudia] So typical of my sister to interrupt my quality time with Mimi.
Not typical?
That Ashley Wyeth, the coolest girl ever, was still hanging out with her.
We're going to head upstairs and concentrate on Python.
The code. Not the snake. [chuckles]
Okay. Upstairs.
And in a moment, Claudia will bring you special tea.
Oh, that sounds great. Thanks.
Yeah, of course.
I have to bring Janine tea?
What am I, her maid? Why doesn't she just learn how to do it herself?
Because you are learning how to make it for the whole family.
[sighs]
Don't forget to warm cup first.
[tranquil music plays]
Mimi! Everything okay?
Yes. Okay.
Keep going. Keep painting.
I go now.
Don't want to confuse the muses.
Okay. Good night, Mimi.
Goodbye, my Claudia.
[Claudia] I was painting, Janine was annoying,
Mimi came up to say good night.
It was a night like any other night.
Until it wasn't.
That's the thing about life.
You never know when it will change.
[foreboding music plays]
Mom?
Claudia. You're up.
Good. [sighs]
We didn't want to wake you.
What's going on?
Uh, maybe we should get Janine? Tell them together?
Yeah. [sniffs]
Tell us what?
[John] Girls,
Mimi passed away last night in her sleep.
But…
I was making tea with her yesterday. She was fine.
-She was 85. -So what?
-She had a series of strokes. -One stroke.
-There were aftereffects. -Girls.
Please.
She had health problems.
-But she died peacefully in her own bed. -[sniffles]
It was her time.
No one could ask for more.
We were lucky that we had her for as long as we did.
[Claudia] My parents were saying all the things
people always say when someone dies.
[Kimiko] She had a long…
[Claudia] Stuff that sounds nice, but nobody believes it.
[Kimiko] …wonderful life.
[Claudia] It's just something to fill the air when you feel like screaming.
But then one thing cut through.
[Kimiko] She already made most of the plans herself.
They told me she ordered her urn from Japan months ago.
[John sniffling]
She wanted everything done, uh, the old way.
The funeral will be in a few days.
And, uh, no visitors to the house until afterwards,
out of respect to Buddhist tradition.
Okay, girls?
[Claudia] Then Mom started talking to Dad about death certificates
and obituary stuff.
But all I could think about was spending the rest of my life here,
alone, in a house with no Mimi in it.
And that I couldn't do. Not yet.
My mom said you can stay as long as you need to.
You can just take it easy.
Chill, watch movies. Anything.
Thank you. Um, I'm just glad to be out of the house.
It'll be good for my parents too, to have me out of their hair.
There's just so much to do. So…
I can't believe it.
When my great-grandpa died, it was sad,
but he just lived in the nursing home upstate,
staring at the wall and drinking Sprite Zero all day.
Mimi was so alive.
Yeah, well, everything is temporary.
Claudia. How are you doing, sweetheart?
I'm okay.
I'm so, so sorry.
You know you can stay here as long as you want.
-I told her that already. -[Maureen] Good.
What else can we do? Can I send some food over?
I could have one of those appetizing platters sent in from Zabar's in the city.
Well, we don't really do that until after the funeral.
Mom, she told you. None of that happens until later.
This is like a meditative period.
-What if we go to the mall? -The mall? Like in Stamford?
I know it sounds crazy, but I just want to take my mind off of everything.
You know what? So do I.
There is a new Glossier pop-up shop at Nordstrom's
and we could go to the Forty Carrots at Bloomie's for some froyo after.
Maybe I can get that cartilage piercing at the Piercing Pagoda
while everyone's too distraught to notice?
Absolutely not.
Nice try.
[Claudia] I was trying to bury my feelings in ethically manufactured beauty products
and overpriced soft-serve. So what?
I had the next 80 years of my life to be sad about Mimi.
In the meantime, I just wanted everything to feel as normal as possible.
Are you hosting a support group?
Claudia can't have guests until after the funeral,
so we're hosting the club meeting here.
Trying to make it feel as much like her room as possible.
She always hides candy all over the place.
Here. Let me.
The best hiding places are in plain sight. Nobody ever thinks to look.
Baby-Sitters Club, Dawn Schafer here. Alternate Officer.
Hey! Come on in.
Take your seats.
Ooh, gummy worms.
Plain sight, huh?
Sometimes I think you forget that I'm only eight.
Right.
Think anyone will call?
[Kristy] Well, the clients have my number, and this is what Claud said she wanted.
For us to have a meeting. For everything to feel normal.
I can't believe Mimi's gone.
I didn't even get to say goodbye.
It's okay, let it all out.
It's healthier that way. Toxins go. Endorphins rise.
What happened? Did someone die? [chuckles]
I know. I should be comforting you.
Oh, it's okay. You can just comfort me by acting normal.
But Mimi, she--
Just pretend this is a normal meeting. Kristy, can you call us to order?
Please?
Okay.
I hereby call this meeting to order.
So…
Stacey. How's the treasury?
Um…
Fine.
Great.
H… have we gotten any new business?
Not since the last meeting.
Does anyone have anything they'd like to share?
I was gonna start shaving my legs. But then my mom said if I start too soon,
the hairs will grow back faster and thicker, so I didn't. [chuckles]
That's really helpful. Thank you.
Mimi came to me in a dream last night.
Karen, not now.
[Karen] She was wearing a white gown.
Not like a ghost. Like a bride.
She told me she'd met the spirit of my great-grandfather, old Ben Brewer,
and now they're in love and getting married.
So maybe they'll both haunt our attic
and you can visit her.
-Stacey and I are gonna go. -We are?
Uh, no one's calling anyway. And I…
[Claudia] I don't want to talk about any of this.
And I don't like everyone staring at me like I'm a walking tragedy.
I really have to catch up on some make-up homework for the week.
Claud, wait.
Let her go.
She's not yet ready for the truths of the spirit world.
[sighs] Do you want to play a board game?
Or we can bring up your mom's '90s Vogue issues from the basement.
I guess so.
You know we could do a cool vintage wallpaper decoupage
on one wall of your closet.
Do you think she'd let us cut them up?
I doubt it. My mom has been hoarding those magazines since college.
Well, should we bake something? Cookies?
My sugar's been weird today.
Well, there's gotta be something we can do.
We could talk.
[Claudia] I knew she was going to say that.
But what was there to say?
Mimi was gone. I didn't want to go in my house until she was back.
But she was never coming back,
so I never wanted to go inside my house again.
[knocking on door]
Claudia, honey, your dad just called.
The funeral is tomorrow.
I know.
Your mom got you a dress to wear.
And I think she was kind of hoping you would go home and make sure it fits.
It'll fit.
Are you sure?
It'll be fine, and if it isn't, there's no time to exchange it anyway.
[Claudia] I just wanted one more night. One more night before it was all real.
[melancholy music plays]
[John] It was beautiful.
It was. I really felt close to her.
[Claudia] Well, I didn't. I felt… numb.
That's koden, Japanese mourning gifts of money sent by family and friends.
Now my mom will have to send notes
and return gifts back to the people who sent it.
And with each note and gift,
Mimi will be a little more gone to everyone who knew her.
I'm going back to Stacey's.
Stacey can come here now, honey.
If you want.
All your friends can.
Yeah, but I think, um,
these flowers are giving me allergies.
You've never exhibited pollen-related rhinitis before. I have some anti--
It's fine. Just, I don't want to be here right now.
Because of the flowers?
Because I just don't.
Um…
Can I go now?
Please.
If that's what you really want.
[Claudia] You know when you know something is the wrong thing to do,
but you do it anyway because it kinda feels good?
Like yanking on a hangnail.
So I found myself back at Stacey's that night, eating ants on a log.
Okay, so I actually started using dark chocolate chips
mostly because they taste better,
but then I learned dark chocolate actually has less sugar than raisins.
Dark-chocolate therapy. Almost as good as retail therapy.
-Or actual therapy. -[Claudia chuckles]
-[Maureen] …hours ago. -[Edward] I had a late meeting.
This is not a good time.
-[Maureen] When, Edward? -[Edward] I don't know.
It's been like this for a while.
He's on a new account at work.
And this happens every time he comes home before we go to bed, which isn't often.
Guess it might not be the best night for another sleepover.
Well, do you wanna talk about it?
-What is there to talk about? -[Claudia] I knew the feeling.
And I knew it was probably time to go home and deal with my own family.
Probably.
But as I got closer, I imagined walking into the house.
Quiet. Empty.
No Mimi there to ask me about my day, or praise my new artwork,
or correct me when I'm making the special tea the wrong way.
When she said, "Goodbye, my Claudia," that last time, she meant it.
[John] Janine, dinner's ready.
[Claudia] Goodbye.
She was ready.
But I still wasn't.
Your dad said your mom sounded kind of sad.
Yeah, well, we're all sad. Aren't you?
Yeah.
So it's good that I'm here. We can cheer each other up.
Maybe I could stay for a few days and we can rearrange your room.
You know what? Maybe we can even do, like, a wallpaper accent wall.
Or I can fake one with stencils. We could do like an art nouveau vibe.
I like my room the way it is.
Okay. Well, we can just hang out then.
But those cushions are in the wrong color order.
-Claudia-- -Let's start over and do primary colors.
Wait, no, let's do cool tone… Mm, no.
Ooh, contrasting colors! That will look really cool.
Hey.
Sorry. I just… I needed to get your attention somehow.
Please listen and stop trying to distract yourself from feeling your grief.
I don't want to feel my grief. My grief feels horrible.
-My grief feels like-- -Like what?
Like my chest is going to explode!
Like I can't breathe.
[gasps for air] Like everything is over and nobody…
Nobody understands.
I do.
Hm. You were just a baby when your mom died.
Yeah, but my dad wasn't.
He kept his grief bottled up for years.
He froze in time. He almost froze me in time too.
-Remember the braids? -How could I forget? [chuckles]
Exactly. But finally, he let it all out.
Started talking about my mom.
Moved on.
And now I think I can finally say that he's okay.
It hurts.
I know.
But… it has to.
Remember in third grade when you fell off the jungle gym and broke your wrist?
[chuckles] I think I blacked out when that happened.
Well, I didn't.
I remember you screaming and crying through the pain,
yelling about how what if you could never paint again.
If you'd ignored it, maybe that would've been true.
But instead, your mom came and took you straight to the hospital.
They snapped your bone back into place and put a cast on it right away,
and it healed correctly.
Stronger.
Now it's something that you can talk about.
Maybe even smile about.
Grief is the same.
You have to deal with it so it can pass.
And then you're stronger.
[Claudia] Part of me just wanted to nod and smile and flee to the next house.
But it was getting pretty late to go all the way to Kristy's.
And deep down, I knew Mary Anne was right.
I had to go back.
I had to walk into my house and face my grief.
[Janine] Hey, Claud.
What are you doing?
Looking through Mimi's jewelry.
Don't be alarmed.
Mom is amenable.
Mimi set aside a few specific things for us.
This was earmarked for you, Claudia.
I came in here to grieve and be alone with my feelings
and here you are stealing her stuff?
Nobody is stealing anything.
-She was my grandmother too. -Then what's she doing here?
Uh, I'm gonna go upstairs and give you a minute.
You have no right to speak to her like that.
She has no right going through my grandmother's stuff
like it's a garage sale!
Are you out of your mind? You have no idea what's been going on.
What it's been like with Mom and Dad. You just took off!
I've been all alone with them.
Trying to support them. But it's been very difficult.
Mom is unresponsive. Dad gives all his emotional energy to her.
The only one who's been here for me has been Ashley.
So what, you're so grateful, you're giving her Mimi's jewelry?
I'm not grateful to her! I'm in love with her!
She's my girlfriend, Claudia.
I…
I didn't know.
[Janine sniffles]
It's still pretty new.
Mimi figured it out a few weeks ago because she paid attention.
She asked me and I told her the truth.
It made her happy.
She immediately wanted to give her a gift.
She was always kind of
romantic like that.
Yeah. She was.
I'd been planning on telling Mom and Dad,
but I just couldn't seem to find the right moment.
And then, Mimi…
Died. [sniffles]
[sighs] Mimi died.
Jiji gave this to her when they first started dating.
I think he won it at some carnival or something.
Is this what she wanted Ashley to have?
But I won't give it to her… unless it's okay with you.
Of course I'm okay with it.
Jiji loved Mimi and
you love Ashley.
It's like a return gift.
Like with koden, but
with love.
I already miss her so much.
Me too, my Janine.
Me too.
[Claudia] Mimi was the person who always brought us together.
We belonged to Mimi, and Mimi belonged to us.
But now, we had to belong to each other.
And it was my job to pull us back together,
with string,
and tradition,
and love.
[tranquil music plays]
Oh. Habit. Sorry.
Yeah. It's not a club meeting.
Yet. Until 5:00, then all bets are off.
Kristy, come on.
[giggling]
-I'm sorry. -[knocking on door]
So sorry to interrupt, but we got an invitation.
Yes, please. Come on in.
So did we.
Welcome to my room. [chuckles]
I don't think we've been in here with your friends before.
Well, you're always welcome. As long as you knock first.
You all got your envelopes,
so you know that I invited you here to talk about Mimi.
To remember her. But first, I'd like to offer some refreshments.
Ho Hos?
Tea.
-Oh. -[chuckling]
[tranquil music plays]
It looks perfect.
Remember the time Mimi was at the biker bar?
[all laughing]
-Wait, like Hells Angels? -[Janine] It was her birthday.
She wanted to go to this really authentic,
new Japanese restaurant about an hour away.
But we got a late start and Dad got lost--
Uh, the GPS got lost.
-[Claudia laughs] -[Janine] Oh!
And finally we got there,
only to find out it was closed.
We were starving.
So Dad pulled into this creepy dive bar off the highway that said it served pizza.
Not a family place,
let alone an Asian family.
Everyone was staring at us. We just sat there, feeling them stare.
Finally, the pizza came.
Mimi took a bite,
then stood up and announced really loudly to the whole bar,
"Best Japanese food I ever tasted!"
[laughing]
I remember one time I was in the car with Mimi
and we got stuck behind an ambulance
and she decided to chase it.
It sped. She sped. And we followed it all the way to our house.
That's what happens when you try to fix the roof yourself.
-[laughing] -Yeah.
I loved how no matter what, Mimi always made time to tell me about my mom.
What they used to talk about.
She even helped decide what to name me.
I thought you were named after your great-aunt.
I was, but she helped decide which one. It was either this or Linda.
-Linda? -I cannot see her as a Linda.
Uh-uh.
She always made me feel so welcome.
That's because you are.
My stepsister Karen,
she thinks that Mimi is in love with her great-grandfather,
Ben Brewer, up in heaven.
Good for Mimi.
My dad's been gone a long time.
-She deserves some fun. -[laughing]
-Wait, but isn't Jiji there too? -OMG, it's a love triangle.
[laughing]
[Claudia] I wish I could tell you that day made me stop missing Mimi so much.
The truth is, I think I'll always miss her.
But what that day showed me is that that's okay.
Because as long as I miss her,
she's still here with me.
["In Fantasia" by Kishi Bashi playing]
[singing in Japanese]
[singing in Japanese continues]
♪ Endless twilight ♪
♪ If only stars Would show their faithful stare ♪
♪ In this world of fading memories ♪
♪ We'd cease to be ♪