1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,683 Wouldn't it be funny if Adam ended up delivering you? 2 00:00:03,683 --> 00:00:05,043 We're going to play it safe and go private. 3 00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:06,123 It's our engagement party tonight, 4 00:00:06,123 --> 00:00:07,603 do you want to get a bit more engaged? 5 00:00:07,603 --> 00:00:10,043 I was going to say that my relationship is the only 6 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,003 thing in my life that's not totally fucked up. 7 00:00:12,003 --> 00:00:14,683 But now I'm not quite sure how true that is. 8 00:00:14,683 --> 00:00:17,883 How are we going to make this work? Well, we're probably not, are we? 9 00:00:17,883 --> 00:00:20,603 I just feel so incompetent there. I'm lying to my parents 10 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:23,163 because they are so proud of what they think I've achieved. 11 00:00:23,163 --> 00:00:24,883 Where's the support? 12 00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:27,083 Well, it's a difficult job. What do you want me to say, it gets easier? 13 00:00:27,083 --> 00:00:29,443 It doesn't. So if you can't handle that fact, 14 00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:31,043 maybe you should get out now. 15 00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:42,043 PAINED SCREAMING IN DISTANCE 16 00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:50,123 You OK there? Er... 17 00:00:50,123 --> 00:00:53,483 200g of goat's cheese...please. 18 00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:57,123 Oh, my God. Er... You delivered our triplets. 19 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:59,123 A couple of months ago, at St Clare's. 20 00:00:59,123 --> 00:01:02,083 Er... No, I think you've got me confused, sorry. 21 00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:04,563 Well, you're the absolute spit of her, I'll tell you that. 22 00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,203 Um... 200g, right? 23 00:01:12,483 --> 00:01:14,083 It is you. 24 00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:15,643 Dr Shruti. 25 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:16,883 I'm really not a doctor. 26 00:01:18,363 --> 00:01:21,123 Anyway, they're, er...they're doing great. 27 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,883 None of us are getting any sleep, 28 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,123 but I guess we're not meant to, right? 29 00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:26,443 COUPLE CHATTERING 30 00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:27,923 I've, erm... 31 00:01:27,923 --> 00:01:30,363 ..put it through as cheddar. Third of the price. 32 00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:34,923 Sorry, David, you put that through as cheddar. 33 00:01:34,923 --> 00:01:38,163 Did I? Oh, I'll go and change that. 34 00:01:46,843 --> 00:01:49,403 # I hope you felt cheated at home 35 00:01:49,403 --> 00:01:52,283 # With all your lies, lies, lies, lies, lies 36 00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:57,923 # How long has it taken for you to look so fine, fine, fine, fine...? # 37 00:01:57,923 --> 00:01:58,963 DOOR SLAMS 38 00:02:00,443 --> 00:02:02,203 Oh. You're in. 39 00:02:02,203 --> 00:02:04,363 What a lovely surprise. 40 00:02:04,363 --> 00:02:07,403 Did you manage to pick up some toilet tissue? 41 00:02:07,403 --> 00:02:09,923 It's just we don't usually get through it so quickly. 42 00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:12,523 No, I'm sorry, I had a really mental day. 43 00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,163 I was in theatre for seven hours. 44 00:02:14,163 --> 00:02:16,043 Anything disgusting? Oh, yes. 45 00:02:16,043 --> 00:02:18,843 This woman was running from the police, high as a kite, 46 00:02:18,843 --> 00:02:21,963 and she climbs over some railings, slips 47 00:02:21,963 --> 00:02:24,043 and impales herself on a metal spike. 48 00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:26,403 EMMA GROANS Up inside 49 00:02:26,403 --> 00:02:28,563 and right out the front of her abdomen. 50 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:30,203 Ah, sheesh! 51 00:02:30,203 --> 00:02:31,803 Sheesh kebab. 52 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,003 GREG CHUCKLES 53 00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:36,483 EMMA GASPS What do we put our drinks on? 54 00:02:36,483 --> 00:02:39,843 Sorry. I'm not used to having nice things. 55 00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:41,963 They're not really your things, are they? 56 00:02:41,963 --> 00:02:43,323 I'm glad that you're done. 57 00:02:43,323 --> 00:02:45,723 We've barely seen you since you've been here. 58 00:02:45,723 --> 00:02:48,643 How long has it been now? 33 days? 34? 59 00:02:48,643 --> 00:02:50,323 I'll be out of your hair in a bit. 60 00:02:50,323 --> 00:02:52,363 Oh! When are you moving out? 61 00:02:52,363 --> 00:02:54,203 No, I mean, I have a locum shift tonight. 62 00:02:54,203 --> 00:02:56,843 Oh. But it will get me a bit closer to, er... 63 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,283 ..pulling together a deposit for a new flat. 64 00:02:59,283 --> 00:03:00,883 Mate... Well... 65 00:03:00,883 --> 00:03:03,043 Honestly, there's no hurry. If it's just a few grand, 66 00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:05,363 maybe we could lend you the money. 67 00:03:05,363 --> 00:03:07,363 Oh, the shift I'm doing tonight is at your gaff. 68 00:03:07,363 --> 00:03:10,523 Oh, St Agnes's? Since when did you start working at private hospitals? 69 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,563 Oh, it's just one shift. My boss put me up for it. 70 00:03:13,563 --> 00:03:15,843 For the money they're offering I can, um... 71 00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,683 ..sell my soul for one night. 72 00:03:17,683 --> 00:03:20,843 No, seriously. It really is so much nicer there. 73 00:03:20,843 --> 00:03:22,403 You get what you pay for. 74 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,363 20 grand's quite a lot for mood lighting, 75 00:03:24,363 --> 00:03:26,803 smoked-salmon sandwiches and coasters. 76 00:03:29,483 --> 00:03:31,803 Mate, I know she's a strong flavour, but... 77 00:03:31,803 --> 00:03:33,523 Mm-hm. 78 00:03:33,523 --> 00:03:35,963 ..can you dial it down a bit with Emma? 79 00:03:35,963 --> 00:03:37,723 This is her house as much as it is mine. 80 00:03:37,723 --> 00:03:40,363 She's taken you in as a guest, which she didn't have to do. 81 00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:42,283 Can you...? You know? 82 00:03:42,283 --> 00:03:43,323 Point taken. 83 00:03:45,563 --> 00:03:46,723 Sorry. 84 00:03:48,163 --> 00:03:49,843 Just had a lot on. 85 00:03:52,323 --> 00:03:53,523 Are you OK? 86 00:03:55,923 --> 00:03:57,963 Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. 87 00:03:57,963 --> 00:03:59,723 I mean, actually OK? 88 00:03:59,723 --> 00:04:00,883 I said I'm fine. 89 00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:04,523 Was that you being fine at your engagement party? 90 00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:07,723 Well, in retrospect, it wasn't an engagement party. 91 00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:08,763 Right. 92 00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:14,883 Have they given you a date yet? For the tribunal? 93 00:04:14,883 --> 00:04:16,603 Is this you trying to cheer me up? 94 00:04:20,363 --> 00:04:23,523 If you ever want to chat about that, or Harry, 95 00:04:23,523 --> 00:04:25,163 you know I'm here for you, right? 96 00:04:28,163 --> 00:04:30,163 You know, I've realised something. 97 00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:31,203 What's that? 98 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:35,163 I think I'm actually designed to be on my own. 99 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,923 Really? 100 00:04:39,923 --> 00:04:41,883 Mm. 101 00:04:41,883 --> 00:04:44,403 I mean, c...cool, great. Yeah, it's... 102 00:04:44,403 --> 00:04:47,563 ..it's, I dunno, it's freer or something. 103 00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,643 No-one asking me how I'm feeling all the time, 104 00:04:49,643 --> 00:04:51,203 for a start. GREG LAUGHS 105 00:04:52,203 --> 00:04:54,203 Single and unwilling to mingle. 106 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:58,243 If there's going to be any "mingling", 107 00:04:58,243 --> 00:05:00,283 there's a mattress protector in the wardrobe. 108 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,363 Yeah, Dad, I'm just in the flat. 109 00:05:05,363 --> 00:05:06,723 MUM: Tell her to send me that photo. 110 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,203 Your mum said you'd send her a photo of it. 111 00:05:09,203 --> 00:05:12,083 I will do. I'm just in the dining room. 112 00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:14,683 Did she get her test results yet? 113 00:05:14,683 --> 00:05:16,443 Did you get your test results yet? 114 00:05:16,443 --> 00:05:18,003 No, they've not come through yet. 115 00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:19,883 There must have been a delay with marking them, 116 00:05:19,883 --> 00:05:21,563 or the post or something. 117 00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:23,683 Well, we're proud of you whatever happens. 118 00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:25,523 Let me speak to her. 119 00:05:25,523 --> 00:05:27,083 Hey, your mum wants to speak to you. 120 00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:28,963 Feels like I already have. 121 00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:30,723 Hi, Shruti. Hi, Mum. 122 00:05:30,723 --> 00:05:33,443 Have you delivered any more babies yet? 123 00:05:33,443 --> 00:05:35,563 I'm sure I'll do some more tonight. 124 00:05:35,563 --> 00:05:37,163 Such an amazing job you do. 125 00:05:38,723 --> 00:05:40,883 Yeah. Are you OK? 126 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,643 Why don't you come up at the weekend? 127 00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,003 You know I can't just come up. I'm working every day 128 00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:46,483 for the next two weeks. 129 00:05:46,483 --> 00:05:48,243 We will drive down one evening. 130 00:05:48,243 --> 00:05:51,323 No. That's not fair on Rashmi Auntie while she's in hospital. 131 00:05:52,443 --> 00:05:55,443 Look, I'm going to be late for work. 132 00:05:55,443 --> 00:05:58,923 OK, well, speak to you tomorrow. 133 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,363 Bye. 134 00:06:00,363 --> 00:06:03,163 Love you. Bye. Bye. 135 00:06:15,163 --> 00:06:17,043 VERONIQUE: 'I'm just so proud, darling. 136 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,363 'I'm sure it's just the start of a burgeoning private practice. 137 00:06:20,363 --> 00:06:23,403 I've got one shift as a lackey at a hoity-toity hospital. 138 00:06:23,403 --> 00:06:25,883 'Well, the journey of a thousand miles begins with 139 00:06:25,883 --> 00:06:27,483 'a single Caesarean. 140 00:06:27,483 --> 00:06:29,443 'I'm so glad you're focusing on work 141 00:06:29,443 --> 00:06:31,083 'and putting Henry behind you. 142 00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:32,643 Harry. 143 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,083 'Are you doing OK, darling, with all that? 144 00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:36,283 Yep, fine. 145 00:06:36,283 --> 00:06:39,163 'I knew you would. I'm glad you've moved on quickly. 146 00:06:39,163 --> 00:06:41,483 'He just wasn't right for you, was he? 147 00:06:41,483 --> 00:06:43,323 'Are you wearing a smart tie? 148 00:06:43,323 --> 00:06:45,043 Yeah, beau-di-ful. 149 00:06:45,043 --> 00:06:47,123 'Beau-ti-ful. Why are you dropping your Ts? 150 00:06:47,123 --> 00:06:49,243 'Is that some Irish thing you picked up? 151 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:52,083 I'm here now, I'd better go. 'Remember to smile. 152 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:53,843 'You look so much more handsome when you...' 153 00:06:56,243 --> 00:06:58,003 PERSON YELPS Ooh! 154 00:06:58,003 --> 00:07:00,803 Maybe don't kneecap the consultants before you even start. 155 00:07:00,803 --> 00:07:02,483 I am so sorry. 156 00:07:02,483 --> 00:07:04,403 LAUGHING: Oh, it's entirely my fault. 157 00:07:04,403 --> 00:07:06,243 Are you visiting a ward here? 158 00:07:06,243 --> 00:07:09,443 Actually, I'm here for a shift. My name's Adam, I'm a doctor. 159 00:07:09,443 --> 00:07:10,563 Oh, wonderful! 160 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:14,163 I'm Serena and I'm one of the midwives. 161 00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:16,403 Really? Really good to meet you. 162 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,363 Come in. Thank you. 163 00:07:18,363 --> 00:07:20,603 Do mind the railings. They've just been lacquered. 164 00:07:22,883 --> 00:07:26,323 # That coat that I gave you 165 00:07:28,283 --> 00:07:30,763 # All shiny and black 166 00:07:30,763 --> 00:07:33,563 CHATTER 167 00:07:33,563 --> 00:07:36,123 # I'm sorry, my darling 168 00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:41,123 # But I'm taking it back 169 00:07:44,323 --> 00:07:46,923 # I don't want to spoil the party 170 00:07:49,723 --> 00:07:52,843 # But I've got to go home 171 00:07:52,843 --> 00:07:55,003 Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me. 172 00:07:55,003 --> 00:07:57,723 # You can stay if you want to... # 173 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,763 Hi. Do we normally do tours for new mums at eight at night? 174 00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:06,203 Ha! No, that's the queue for triage. Good luck. 175 00:08:06,203 --> 00:08:08,443 Here, how many night shifts do you have left? 176 00:08:08,443 --> 00:08:10,843 Er... Oh, it's last one tonight. 177 00:08:10,843 --> 00:08:12,283 See you Monday, then, pet. 178 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,763 I've...taken a couple of weeks of leave, actually. 179 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,123 Ah, well. 180 00:08:17,123 --> 00:08:18,483 Don't do anything I would. 181 00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:26,083 I don't know why there's so many of them. 182 00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:29,603 They all had sex nine months ago? Something's going to go wrong. 183 00:08:29,603 --> 00:08:31,443 I can just feel it. That's the spirit. 184 00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:32,883 Who's the registrar tonight? 185 00:08:32,883 --> 00:08:35,323 It was meant to be a locum but no-one's turned up yet. 186 00:08:35,323 --> 00:08:37,563 I said something was going to go wrong. 187 00:08:37,563 --> 00:08:40,843 OK. Er, well, you get onto the agency and I'll get cracking. 188 00:08:40,843 --> 00:08:43,363 Is there anyone you're particularly worried about? 189 00:08:43,363 --> 00:08:44,523 Er... 190 00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:48,363 I'm worried about all of them, to be honest with you. 191 00:08:48,363 --> 00:08:52,083 Course you are. Well, I will be in triage if you need me. 192 00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:54,323 I'm not happy about only having one doctor here. 193 00:08:54,323 --> 00:08:56,283 I'm trying Adam. PHONE RINGS OUT 194 00:08:56,283 --> 00:08:57,323 ADAM: 'Hello.' 195 00:08:57,323 --> 00:08:59,763 Oh, hi, Adam, you're not free for a shift tonight, are you? 196 00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:02,443 I'm not. Why don't you see if Pippa's ava... 197 00:09:02,443 --> 00:09:04,363 SHRUTI HANGS UP 198 00:09:04,363 --> 00:09:07,283 Oh! Sorry, one more thing. What? 199 00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:09,203 There's an active shooter in the building? 200 00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:10,403 Is the coffee room on fire? 201 00:09:10,403 --> 00:09:14,003 One of next month's SHOs is on orientation tonight, 202 00:09:14,003 --> 00:09:16,483 if you wouldn't mind showing him the ropes? 203 00:09:16,483 --> 00:09:18,003 Pew-pew-pew! 204 00:09:18,003 --> 00:09:20,283 MIMICS LASER GUNS 205 00:09:20,283 --> 00:09:21,883 The more the merrier. 206 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,923 Hi, I'm Shruti. 207 00:09:26,363 --> 00:09:28,643 Are you one of the midwives, love? 208 00:09:28,643 --> 00:09:30,523 I'm your boss, love. 209 00:09:30,523 --> 00:09:31,883 Oh. 210 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,243 I'm Al, by the way. 211 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,203 Er...where are we going? 212 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:41,443 So this is the main floor. 213 00:09:41,443 --> 00:09:44,563 We've got four rooms and ten midwives. 214 00:09:44,563 --> 00:09:46,963 Four midwives and ten rooms. 215 00:09:46,963 --> 00:09:48,843 Oh, you mean that, sorry. 216 00:09:48,843 --> 00:09:52,483 Uh...that is the large hydrotherapy pool. 217 00:09:52,483 --> 00:09:54,963 That is the mother and baby sensory centre. 218 00:09:54,963 --> 00:09:57,043 This is a standard room. 219 00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:03,523 The beds are Californian 220 00:10:03,523 --> 00:10:05,883 with a breathable 12-zone mattress, balcony, 221 00:10:05,883 --> 00:10:08,683 dressing area, office suite and waterfall shower. 222 00:10:10,723 --> 00:10:12,763 Holy shit. HE LAUGHS 223 00:10:12,763 --> 00:10:14,763 Right. 224 00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:17,923 Do you mostly work in the maintained sector? 225 00:10:17,923 --> 00:10:19,243 STRAINED: Mm. 226 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:21,843 Ah! You have a nightclub here too? 227 00:10:21,843 --> 00:10:24,643 Ah! No, some minor royal from Kuwait's coming in tomorrow 228 00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:26,923 and they've block-booked half the ward. 229 00:10:26,923 --> 00:10:29,643 Means that we won't be quite as busy as usual. 230 00:10:29,643 --> 00:10:32,523 So why don't you get yourself changed 231 00:10:32,523 --> 00:10:34,883 and then I can introduce you to the patient? 232 00:10:38,203 --> 00:10:39,443 Patient. 233 00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:48,363 # Everything stinks 234 00:10:48,363 --> 00:10:50,163 # Everything's broke 235 00:10:50,163 --> 00:10:52,123 # So fuck this 236 00:10:55,483 --> 00:10:57,763 # I tried and I lost 237 00:10:57,763 --> 00:10:59,843 # And everything costs 238 00:10:59,843 --> 00:11:01,483 # So fuck this 239 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,203 # It's raining money 240 00:11:08,203 --> 00:11:10,803 # It's raining down in buckets 241 00:11:13,323 --> 00:11:15,683 # Selling out or cashing in 242 00:11:15,683 --> 00:11:17,203 VENDING MACHINE WHIRS 243 00:11:17,203 --> 00:11:19,363 # It's really just the same 244 00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:22,443 # So fuck this 245 00:11:25,363 --> 00:11:29,203 # I'm switching my allegiance 246 00:11:31,283 --> 00:11:34,163 # I'm swapping sides 247 00:11:35,323 --> 00:11:38,803 # Cos only mugs have principles 248 00:11:38,803 --> 00:11:41,563 # And now the privilege is mine 249 00:11:41,563 --> 00:11:43,363 SHE HITS FRONT OF MACHINE 250 00:11:43,363 --> 00:11:47,923 # All aboard for moolah land 251 00:11:47,923 --> 00:11:51,523 # Working cash in hand. # 252 00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:01,403 Never really understood why people have 253 00:12:01,403 --> 00:12:03,083 doctor and nurse fetishes before now. 254 00:12:09,283 --> 00:12:11,003 Reckon I could get used to this. 255 00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:15,163 What? 256 00:12:20,443 --> 00:12:22,843 CHATTER 257 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,363 PATIENT: There she is. 258 00:12:24,363 --> 00:12:25,923 ALL PATIENTS TALK AT ONCE 259 00:12:25,923 --> 00:12:28,363 I will be with you as soon as I can. 260 00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:33,323 Get this off to microbiology. 261 00:12:33,323 --> 00:12:35,723 Sweet, no problem. 262 00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:38,123 What do you want me to write on the form? 263 00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:40,243 The lyrics to the Macarena. 264 00:12:40,243 --> 00:12:42,003 PAGER BEEPS 265 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,243 Yeah, hello, obs and gynae on call? 266 00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:53,043 'Doctor, help me. My vagina's totally fallen out.' 267 00:12:53,043 --> 00:12:55,203 Oh, er... O...OK, madam, 268 00:12:55,203 --> 00:12:56,883 can you describe what's happening? 269 00:12:56,883 --> 00:12:59,843 I'm just pulling your perineum. It's Vicky Houghton. 270 00:12:59,843 --> 00:13:02,843 Oh, hi. Um...it's Shruti. 271 00:13:02,843 --> 00:13:05,763 MIMICKING TRACE: I've had old worry-warts on the line 272 00:13:05,763 --> 00:13:08,403 saying that the agency hasn't come through with a registrar. 273 00:13:08,403 --> 00:13:10,643 Yeah, I'm sorry about this, I was wondering if you might 274 00:13:10,643 --> 00:13:12,243 be able to come in. Yeah, course, love. 275 00:13:12,243 --> 00:13:14,723 See a few patients in triage for you, maybe? 276 00:13:14,723 --> 00:13:16,003 Yeah, if you don't mind? 277 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,603 Wipe the shit from your arse? 278 00:13:17,603 --> 00:13:19,723 Erm... No, I... 279 00:13:19,723 --> 00:13:22,003 I'll be over in a flash if it all goes to balls, 280 00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:23,403 but I'm sure you'll cope. 281 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,683 Mums have been having babies 282 00:13:24,683 --> 00:13:26,923 for thousands of years before us, right? 283 00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:29,883 'You'll ace it, mate, OK?' 284 00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,843 Yeah, I will give you a yell if anything... 285 00:13:31,843 --> 00:13:33,403 CALL DISCONNECTS 286 00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:40,643 Are you one of the doctors? 287 00:13:40,643 --> 00:13:42,283 I am the doctors. 288 00:13:48,683 --> 00:13:52,083 Why don't you pop your head inside Princess Anne? 289 00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:53,363 Excuse me? 290 00:13:53,363 --> 00:13:55,563 Say hi to the lady in the Princess Anne Suite. 291 00:13:55,563 --> 00:13:58,563 Patient of Nigel Lockhart's, uncomplicated first pregnancy, 292 00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,883 cracking along nicely at six centimetres, good epidural. 293 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,763 Sure. 294 00:14:06,163 --> 00:14:09,363 And, er, they'll send dinner to your room in about an hour. 295 00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:11,203 It's asparagus risotto today. 296 00:14:11,203 --> 00:14:12,483 Really? 297 00:14:12,483 --> 00:14:14,243 I know. It's barely in season. 298 00:14:14,243 --> 00:14:17,443 But somebody's already had a word with the kitchen. 299 00:14:23,283 --> 00:14:25,003 HE CLEARS THROAT 300 00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:26,603 QUIETLY: Mrs Mullender. 301 00:14:26,603 --> 00:14:28,723 Good evening, Mrs Mullender. 302 00:14:28,723 --> 00:14:30,923 Come. 303 00:14:30,923 --> 00:14:32,243 Mrs Mullender? 304 00:14:33,843 --> 00:14:35,443 Miss. How can I help? 305 00:14:35,443 --> 00:14:38,323 Sorry. My name's Adam, I'm one of the doctors. 306 00:14:38,323 --> 00:14:41,563 I thought I'd just swing by and see... Ah! 307 00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:42,603 Are you Daddy? 308 00:14:42,603 --> 00:14:44,363 SHE SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER Are you joking? 309 00:14:44,363 --> 00:14:46,363 Do you want me to serve up? 310 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,883 No, leave it there, thank you. 311 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,083 I am so sorry. I didn't mean to assume. 312 00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:54,563 There's no daddy. 313 00:14:54,563 --> 00:14:57,243 And I've just spent a full week convincing my sister-in-law 314 00:14:57,243 --> 00:14:59,763 that she doesn't need to sit with me and mop my brow. 315 00:14:59,763 --> 00:15:02,563 It's not like I'd invite her along to a dental extraction. 316 00:15:02,563 --> 00:15:04,403 SHE LAUGHS 317 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,883 We basically use the same equipment, to be fair. 318 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,523 I mean, what does she think we'd even talk about? 319 00:15:10,523 --> 00:15:13,803 Pretty sure I don't have eight hours of polite chit-chat in me, anyway. 320 00:15:13,803 --> 00:15:16,403 I was literally saying the exact same thing earlier today. 321 00:15:16,403 --> 00:15:19,283 What's wrong with spending a bit of time with yourself? 322 00:15:19,283 --> 00:15:22,403 Mm. I think we're groomed 323 00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:24,443 by society to believe you're dysfunctional 324 00:15:24,443 --> 00:15:25,843 if you're not constantly... 325 00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,923 Like I say, I don't have eight hours of chit-chat in me. 326 00:15:27,923 --> 00:15:29,083 Yes, right. 327 00:15:30,603 --> 00:15:33,083 Um, well, give me a shout if you need anything. 328 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:34,123 Erm... 329 00:15:35,443 --> 00:15:37,563 I've got some asparagus to deal with. 330 00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:38,723 Right. In July?! 331 00:15:42,643 --> 00:15:44,643 AL: Oh, bleeds a lot, doesn't it? 332 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:47,643 SHRUTI: What, when you cut human flesh with a knife? 333 00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:49,083 Hold that there for me. 334 00:15:50,923 --> 00:15:52,563 What's that instrument called? 335 00:15:52,563 --> 00:15:55,163 It's called the "shut up for a minute 336 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,523 "and let me operate". 337 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,003 Sorry. I just... 338 00:15:58,003 --> 00:16:01,083 There's a lot to learn, isn't there? If you could teach me 339 00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:04,723 just a bit, then... SHRUTI SIGHS SHARPLY 340 00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:06,483 Sorry. 341 00:16:09,923 --> 00:16:12,523 Of course. Monopolar diathermy forceps. 342 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,003 It applies a high current density 343 00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:15,843 to coagulate the tissue it touches. 344 00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:17,443 Oh, thanks. 345 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,523 And what's this layer called? 346 00:16:19,523 --> 00:16:22,203 Looks like a two-day-old kebab, to be honest. 347 00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:23,723 It's the rectus abdomini. 348 00:16:25,883 --> 00:16:28,243 Ugh, smells like an old kebab now too. 349 00:16:28,243 --> 00:16:31,483 Right, get your other hand in there and pull. 350 00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:33,843 NURSE: Do you like to give antibiotics at your sections? 351 00:16:33,843 --> 00:16:36,323 No, thanks. What's this bit? 352 00:16:36,323 --> 00:16:38,283 I want to say the bowel? 353 00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:41,243 Do you want to say the uterus instead? You know, 354 00:16:41,243 --> 00:16:43,043 when a mummy and daddy love each other very much? 355 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,843 Oh, yeah, I think I've seen some videos 356 00:16:44,843 --> 00:16:46,083 about that on the internet. 357 00:16:48,483 --> 00:16:51,603 OK, make the incision two to three centimetres below 358 00:16:51,603 --> 00:16:53,923 the upper edge of the peritoneum. 359 00:16:53,923 --> 00:16:55,203 AL GROANS 360 00:16:55,203 --> 00:16:57,203 Hand goes round baby's head 361 00:16:57,203 --> 00:16:59,363 and then you remove the retractor. 362 00:16:59,363 --> 00:17:01,323 What, this thing? 363 00:17:01,323 --> 00:17:03,243 Yep. And then hard push at the top. 364 00:17:03,243 --> 00:17:06,963 Deliver the first shoulder and ease baby out. 365 00:17:06,963 --> 00:17:10,803 Then clamp and cut the cord. 366 00:17:10,803 --> 00:17:13,163 BABY STARTS TO GRIZZLE 367 00:17:13,163 --> 00:17:15,683 Wow. That's amazing. 368 00:17:15,683 --> 00:17:18,763 BABY CRIES 369 00:17:18,763 --> 00:17:20,403 Congratulations. 370 00:17:20,403 --> 00:17:22,523 God. That's incredible. 371 00:17:22,523 --> 00:17:24,883 What did you expect to find in there? 372 00:17:24,883 --> 00:17:26,403 I mean, the feeling of... 373 00:17:26,403 --> 00:17:28,643 I guess it just never gets old, does it? 374 00:17:28,643 --> 00:17:31,443 Once you've seen one baby, you've kind of seen them all. 375 00:17:33,123 --> 00:17:35,523 That's a bit enthusiastic. Can we get suction, 376 00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:37,963 clamps and a couple of large swabs on here, please? 377 00:17:37,963 --> 00:17:40,963 Al, can you...? AL GAGS 378 00:17:40,963 --> 00:17:42,403 Are you OK? 379 00:17:43,403 --> 00:17:44,763 Yep. 380 00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,363 You sure? 381 00:17:46,363 --> 00:17:48,723 Yeah, I'm fine, as long as I don't look at it too much. 382 00:17:48,723 --> 00:17:51,163 Well, don't look at it too much. Suction, please. 383 00:17:51,163 --> 00:17:53,323 OK. PATIENT: What?! 384 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,043 What was that? Is everything OK? 385 00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:56,643 Is there a problem? Are you OK? 386 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:59,283 I'm really sorry about that. What's happening? 387 00:17:59,283 --> 00:18:02,163 My colleague has fainted slightly into the operative field. 388 00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:04,003 Was he in me? I... In... He's out now. 389 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:05,443 He's out, he's out now?! 390 00:18:05,443 --> 00:18:07,603 Yes. Is he, is he...? Oh, my God! 391 00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:09,483 Jesus Christ. Am I going to be all right? 392 00:18:09,483 --> 00:18:11,003 Really sorry, you'll be fine. 393 00:18:11,003 --> 00:18:12,963 It happens more often than you'd think. 394 00:18:12,963 --> 00:18:15,323 Maybe just give her some antibiotics, after all? 395 00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:19,003 AL GROANS GENTLY 396 00:18:19,003 --> 00:18:20,363 MICROWAVE BEEPS 397 00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:28,203 AL WHIMPERS 398 00:18:30,003 --> 00:18:31,443 You all right? 399 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,163 Is there not, like, an on-call room I can lie down in, 400 00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:35,843 just for half an hour? 401 00:18:35,843 --> 00:18:37,483 There's not, like. 402 00:18:42,203 --> 00:18:44,363 They got rid of it. I think they were worried 403 00:18:44,363 --> 00:18:46,203 we'd actually manage to get some rest. 404 00:18:46,203 --> 00:18:47,563 It's fine. 405 00:18:49,123 --> 00:18:50,923 I'll stay here. MICROWAVE PINGS 406 00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:56,763 There's a scanning couch in the Early Pregnancy Unit 407 00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:58,243 you can kip on if you want. 408 00:18:59,243 --> 00:19:00,883 Thanks, love. 409 00:19:00,883 --> 00:19:03,523 That better be short for "thanks, lovely doctor". 410 00:19:12,483 --> 00:19:14,243 Sorry, it's a bit of a mission. 411 00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:19,643 Almost there. 412 00:19:20,723 --> 00:19:22,243 Do you often bring strange men 413 00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:23,923 to dark corners of the hospital? 414 00:19:23,923 --> 00:19:26,443 Wherever you're going with that, back it up immediately. 415 00:19:26,443 --> 00:19:29,123 SCANNER BEEPS REJECTION 416 00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:30,483 AL GRUMBLES 417 00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,363 DOOR UNLOCKS 418 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,763 Make yourself at home. But come and find me 419 00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:40,203 on labour ward in an hour, yeah? 420 00:19:40,203 --> 00:19:42,683 We've still got loads of patients in triage that we... 421 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,723 PAGER BEEPS 422 00:19:44,723 --> 00:19:47,043 Nope, I'll be in A&E, apparently. 423 00:19:47,043 --> 00:19:49,923 I'm really sorry about before. In theatre. 424 00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:51,723 Yeah, you're not going to last very long 425 00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:53,603 if that happens every time you deliver a baby. 426 00:19:53,603 --> 00:19:55,403 I really hope not. 427 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,203 I've always wanted to do obstetrics. 428 00:19:57,203 --> 00:19:58,723 Yeah. So did I. 429 00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:01,203 Be careful what you wish for. 430 00:20:10,683 --> 00:20:14,203 'You have four new messages. First new message. 431 00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:16,883 VERONIQUE: 'Hello, darling. I hope the shift's going well. 432 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,003 'Remember to stand up straight. 433 00:20:19,003 --> 00:20:22,403 'Nobody wants a doctor who looks like they ring the bells at...' 434 00:20:22,403 --> 00:20:25,123 'Message deleted. Next new message. 435 00:20:25,123 --> 00:20:26,763 'Hi, mate, it's Greg. 436 00:20:26,763 --> 00:20:28,603 "Emma was just wondering..." 437 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,603 'Emma was just wondering if it was you 438 00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:32,363 'who left the hot water on. 439 00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:34,723 'Look, we'd both be really grateful 440 00:20:34,723 --> 00:20:36,483 'if you tried not to do that next...' 441 00:20:36,483 --> 00:20:40,043 'Message deleted. Next new message. 442 00:20:40,043 --> 00:20:42,523 HARRY: 'Hey, Adam. I hope you're OK. 443 00:20:42,523 --> 00:20:44,483 'Look, do you mind giving me a call? 444 00:20:44,483 --> 00:20:46,723 'It would be really good to go through...' 445 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:52,203 'Message deleted. Last message received today at 7:20pm. 446 00:20:52,203 --> 00:20:53,843 HARRY: 'Hey, Adam, 447 00:20:53,843 --> 00:20:55,843 'I'd really appreciate it if you've got a sec...' 448 00:20:55,843 --> 00:20:58,923 'Message deleted. No more messages.' 449 00:21:03,603 --> 00:21:05,163 HE SIGHS 450 00:21:15,763 --> 00:21:16,803 RINGING TONE 451 00:21:18,323 --> 00:21:19,763 HARRY: 'Oh, hey, how's it going? 452 00:21:19,763 --> 00:21:21,483 Yeah, fine, thanks. 453 00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:25,403 Sorry it's taken a while to call back. 454 00:21:25,403 --> 00:21:28,763 Don't stress. You killed Emma yet? 455 00:21:28,763 --> 00:21:31,003 That's why it took me a while to call back, 456 00:21:31,003 --> 00:21:33,563 the prison only gives me one call a week. 457 00:21:34,763 --> 00:21:37,723 So I, um...just went ahead 458 00:21:37,723 --> 00:21:40,443 and put the rest of your stuff into boxes, if that's OK? 459 00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:44,403 Of course. 460 00:21:46,243 --> 00:21:48,563 I'll work out a time to, er... 461 00:21:48,563 --> 00:21:50,003 ..come and collect them. 462 00:21:50,003 --> 00:21:51,563 Probably won't be next week. 463 00:21:51,563 --> 00:21:53,203 Well, I was thinking I could 464 00:21:53,203 --> 00:21:55,203 drop them over at Greg's tomorrow? 465 00:21:55,203 --> 00:21:58,243 Kenzie's off work and his car's back from the garage, so... 466 00:21:58,243 --> 00:22:00,123 HE LAUGHS FLATLY 467 00:22:00,123 --> 00:22:02,123 He didn't hang around, did he? 468 00:22:02,123 --> 00:22:04,323 'What's that supposed to mean?' 469 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,683 I guess I should be grateful he waited until my cock 470 00:22:06,683 --> 00:22:08,563 was actually out of you before he pounced. 471 00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:11,763 You done yet? 472 00:22:11,763 --> 00:22:14,123 HE SIGHS SHARPLY 473 00:22:14,123 --> 00:22:16,723 I'll check with Greg what time I can bring them over. 474 00:22:29,523 --> 00:22:32,243 This is fucking ridiculous. 475 00:22:32,243 --> 00:22:35,963 Thanks so much for coming down. How's it going on labour ward? 476 00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:37,723 Tell me about the patient. Right. Well, 477 00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:40,323 we've been on the phone to the telephone interpreter service 478 00:22:40,323 --> 00:22:43,003 for half an hour now but we're really not getting anywhere. 479 00:22:43,003 --> 00:22:45,523 I think he lied on his CV when he said he could speak Hindi. 480 00:22:45,523 --> 00:22:48,003 All we know is they're bleeding down below 481 00:22:48,003 --> 00:22:49,523 and they're a hermaphrodite. 482 00:22:49,523 --> 00:22:51,163 Yeah, we say intersex. 483 00:22:52,723 --> 00:22:54,843 Yeah, I'd hate to prejudge 484 00:22:54,843 --> 00:22:56,963 but I'd be really surprised if he was intersex. 485 00:22:56,963 --> 00:22:58,163 How do you know? 486 00:22:58,163 --> 00:23:00,363 The same way I know he's not a kestrel. 487 00:23:00,363 --> 00:23:03,443 Look, it's clearly not androgen insensitivity syndrome, 488 00:23:03,443 --> 00:23:06,043 so it's got to be Klinefelter's or de la Chapelle syndrome, 489 00:23:06,043 --> 00:23:07,363 but given his... 490 00:23:07,363 --> 00:23:09,123 Don't worry, I'll speak to him. 491 00:23:30,683 --> 00:23:31,923 HE CHUCKLES 492 00:23:37,243 --> 00:23:39,523 Not a hermaphrodite. Haemophiliac. 493 00:23:58,083 --> 00:24:00,163 PAGER BEEPS AND BUZZES 494 00:24:06,243 --> 00:24:07,723 KNOCK ON DOOR Hello? 495 00:24:07,723 --> 00:24:08,803 DOOR OPENS 496 00:24:09,963 --> 00:24:11,283 Not seen you here before. 497 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:13,243 I was hoping you'd forgotten 498 00:24:13,243 --> 00:24:15,323 that I mistook you for a patient's husband. 499 00:24:15,323 --> 00:24:17,083 Oh, no, I meant... I know. 500 00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:18,443 It's my first shift here. 501 00:24:20,163 --> 00:24:22,363 Well, you're a very welcome addition. 502 00:24:25,483 --> 00:24:29,483 I normally work for the NHS, where we don't get any, um... 503 00:24:29,483 --> 00:24:32,563 They're called cloches. I meant food. 504 00:24:32,563 --> 00:24:33,683 Oh. 505 00:24:35,403 --> 00:24:37,443 Sorry if I've judged this wrong, but... 506 00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:39,083 ..do you fancy getting a drink one day? 507 00:24:39,083 --> 00:24:40,883 I... 508 00:24:40,883 --> 00:24:42,563 Um... 509 00:24:42,563 --> 00:24:45,723 H-How...? Why...? Why did you...? Why'd you think...? 510 00:24:45,723 --> 00:24:48,723 Well, it's normally a clue when boys call me Daddy. 511 00:24:52,283 --> 00:24:54,243 So? 512 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:57,283 I'm not really looking for a relationship. 513 00:24:57,283 --> 00:24:59,683 That's handy. I'm not offering one. 514 00:25:03,563 --> 00:25:05,763 BOTH PANT AND MOAN 515 00:25:05,763 --> 00:25:09,323 Call me Daddy. Call me Daddy! 516 00:25:12,603 --> 00:25:17,523 PHONE RINGS 517 00:25:21,723 --> 00:25:23,163 Hello? 518 00:25:23,163 --> 00:25:24,963 'It's Serena. Can you come down? 519 00:25:26,283 --> 00:25:29,563 Yes, of course. Um...what's up? 520 00:25:29,563 --> 00:25:31,043 'I need you to chuck on some gloves 521 00:25:31,043 --> 00:25:32,963 'and get inside Princess Anne.' 522 00:25:32,963 --> 00:25:34,643 The patient's been pushing for an hour, 523 00:25:34,643 --> 00:25:37,123 CTG's not great, so you should probably deliver her. 524 00:25:37,123 --> 00:25:38,283 Right away. 525 00:25:38,283 --> 00:25:41,203 I've got nothing on my hands at the moment, so... 526 00:25:48,963 --> 00:25:52,563 Not sure I've ever delivered a baby with a semi before. 527 00:25:52,563 --> 00:25:54,883 Yeah, I know, Trace, it must be very worrying 528 00:25:54,883 --> 00:25:56,203 not having a doctor there. 529 00:25:56,203 --> 00:25:58,683 Yeah, I realise any of those things could happen, 530 00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:01,803 I'm just dealing with something that actually is happening. 531 00:26:01,803 --> 00:26:03,803 VOMITING AND COUGHING 532 00:26:03,803 --> 00:26:06,123 OK, look, there's one more patient left in A&E, 533 00:26:06,123 --> 00:26:07,363 then I'll be right up. 534 00:26:15,763 --> 00:26:17,403 Briana "Dal-ziel"? Yes. 535 00:26:17,403 --> 00:26:19,883 It's "Dee-ell", and we've been waiting here 3.5 hours. 536 00:26:19,883 --> 00:26:22,963 Dad! Yeah, sorry about that, it's been manic today. 537 00:26:22,963 --> 00:26:26,363 Er, OK, so you had a positive pregnancy test two weeks ago, 538 00:26:26,363 --> 00:26:28,283 and now you've got some pain in your right groin? 539 00:26:28,283 --> 00:26:30,603 That's right. How many people do we have to go through this with? 540 00:26:30,603 --> 00:26:32,123 I'm just doing my job, sir. 541 00:26:33,243 --> 00:26:35,203 Do you mind if I put a hand on your tummy? 542 00:26:38,283 --> 00:26:39,443 Oh! 543 00:26:39,443 --> 00:26:42,243 OK, I'm going to need to exclude what's called an ectopic pregnancy. 544 00:26:42,243 --> 00:26:44,763 That's when a pregnancy implants in a tube 545 00:26:44,763 --> 00:26:47,043 which can potentially rupture, cause a bit of an emergency. 546 00:26:47,043 --> 00:26:48,643 She's been waiting here all bloody night 547 00:26:48,643 --> 00:26:50,563 and now you're telling us it's an emergency? 548 00:26:50,563 --> 00:26:52,603 No, I'm saying I need to make sure it's not an emergency 549 00:26:52,603 --> 00:26:54,683 before I send you home, which means doing a scan. 550 00:26:54,683 --> 00:26:56,163 And how long's that going to take? 551 00:26:56,163 --> 00:26:57,923 I pay your wages, you know. 552 00:26:57,923 --> 00:26:59,483 Can I have a raise, then? 553 00:26:59,483 --> 00:27:01,523 It takes as long as it takes, Dad. 554 00:27:01,523 --> 00:27:04,003 There isn't any out-of-hours scanning, I'm afraid. 555 00:27:04,003 --> 00:27:05,443 Oh, for God's sake! 556 00:27:05,443 --> 00:27:07,523 Which means I'll need to keep you in overnight 557 00:27:07,523 --> 00:27:09,523 and do it in the morning. Fucking NHS. 558 00:27:09,523 --> 00:27:12,243 Dad. I'm taking you home. Come on, we've been here long enough. 559 00:27:12,243 --> 00:27:13,283 Dad! Wait. 560 00:27:14,403 --> 00:27:16,603 Maybe there is something I can do. 561 00:27:18,123 --> 00:27:20,843 Yeah, I just didn't expect to pay 15 grand 562 00:27:20,843 --> 00:27:23,483 to have the work experience deliver me, Nigel. 563 00:27:23,483 --> 00:27:25,363 SHE SIGHS 564 00:27:25,363 --> 00:27:27,923 No. I do, I do, I understand. 565 00:27:29,123 --> 00:27:30,563 Absolutely. 566 00:27:30,563 --> 00:27:31,763 I'll see you in the... 567 00:27:31,763 --> 00:27:33,483 We will see you in the morning. 568 00:27:35,123 --> 00:27:37,763 Will do. All right, thanks. Give it to him. 569 00:27:37,763 --> 00:27:38,803 Oh. 570 00:27:39,963 --> 00:27:41,003 Er... 571 00:27:41,003 --> 00:27:43,683 Evening, Kay. Sorry for dumping you in it a bit. 572 00:27:43,683 --> 00:27:45,403 Oh, it's not a problem, Mr Lockhart. 573 00:27:45,403 --> 00:27:47,163 Yeah, she's nice enough when you get to know her. 574 00:27:47,163 --> 00:27:48,203 Just get on with it. 575 00:27:48,203 --> 00:27:50,403 Smile like the Cheshire Cat on nitrous oxide. 576 00:27:50,403 --> 00:27:52,283 I've told her you're my best guy. 577 00:27:52,283 --> 00:27:54,043 Thank you, that means a lot. 578 00:27:54,043 --> 00:27:56,043 Yeah, then again, I told her I was stuck in traffic, 579 00:27:56,043 --> 00:27:57,923 so take that with a pinch of salt. 580 00:27:57,923 --> 00:28:00,603 I'll-I'll bung you a grand for your efforts. 581 00:28:00,603 --> 00:28:04,003 That's...extremely kind, Mr Lockhart. Thank you. 582 00:28:04,003 --> 00:28:05,923 Oh, and I'm going to be stuck in traffic 583 00:28:05,923 --> 00:28:09,483 for a fortnight in Corfu next month, if you're interested. 584 00:28:09,483 --> 00:28:10,723 So don't fuck it up. 585 00:28:11,963 --> 00:28:13,243 CALL DISCONNECTS 586 00:28:14,603 --> 00:28:15,963 Thank you. 587 00:28:15,963 --> 00:28:18,083 I'm so sorry you've ended up with the B-Team. 588 00:28:18,083 --> 00:28:19,883 Sometimes things just happen too quickly 589 00:28:19,883 --> 00:28:21,083 to get the consultant in. 590 00:28:21,083 --> 00:28:22,523 No. Course. 591 00:28:22,523 --> 00:28:24,643 I'm just grateful you're one of Nigel's guys, 592 00:28:24,643 --> 00:28:26,083 not some flunky in the NHS. 593 00:28:26,083 --> 00:28:27,683 THEY LAUGH 594 00:28:27,683 --> 00:28:28,923 I just don't think 595 00:28:28,923 --> 00:28:31,883 I'm a "having a baby in a corridor" kind of person. 596 00:28:31,883 --> 00:28:35,683 You made the right decision coming here, that's for sure. 597 00:28:37,203 --> 00:28:38,243 Well, wouldn't you? 598 00:28:39,483 --> 00:28:42,043 SHE BREATHES HEAVILY 599 00:28:43,883 --> 00:28:46,363 Nearly there. You're doing really well. 600 00:28:46,363 --> 00:28:49,483 We'll find out what's going on in a second, OK? 601 00:28:49,483 --> 00:28:51,883 Um, it's usually all locked up this time of night, 602 00:28:51,883 --> 00:28:53,923 but there's an ultrasound machine free in here, 603 00:28:53,923 --> 00:28:55,363 so we can... SENSOR BEEPS 604 00:28:56,843 --> 00:28:58,323 SENSOR CHIRRUPS 605 00:28:58,323 --> 00:29:01,563 Oh, um...there's a man asleep in there, by the way, but... 606 00:29:01,563 --> 00:29:03,323 Shit! Get up. 607 00:29:03,323 --> 00:29:04,403 What...? 608 00:29:08,843 --> 00:29:10,803 No offence, but you do not look well. 609 00:29:12,403 --> 00:29:13,603 BRIANA GROANS 610 00:29:18,203 --> 00:29:19,443 Let's have a quick look. 611 00:29:26,243 --> 00:29:27,723 Right. 612 00:29:27,723 --> 00:29:30,083 I can see a lot of blood in your abdomen. 613 00:29:30,083 --> 00:29:32,963 That means that your pregnancy is ectopic, and it's ruptured. 614 00:29:32,963 --> 00:29:36,563 Fucking hell! Al. Please. It's fine, she's asleep. 615 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:40,643 Briana? Shit. 616 00:29:40,643 --> 00:29:42,603 Right, Al, listen to me carefully 617 00:29:42,603 --> 00:29:43,963 or this woman is going to die. 618 00:29:43,963 --> 00:29:45,923 Use the phone outside to fast-bleep theatres 619 00:29:45,923 --> 00:29:47,043 to say we're coming over, 620 00:29:47,043 --> 00:29:48,963 then call Ms Houghton to come in urgently. 621 00:29:48,963 --> 00:29:51,043 Do you understand? I think so. 622 00:29:51,043 --> 00:29:52,283 OK. Quickly go! 623 00:29:53,723 --> 00:29:57,203 Get me some Venflons and some giving sets. 624 00:30:01,523 --> 00:30:04,403 Briana? Briana, stay with me. You're going to be fine. 625 00:30:08,323 --> 00:30:10,683 SHE SCREAMS 626 00:30:10,683 --> 00:30:11,723 That's it. 627 00:30:12,883 --> 00:30:15,243 OK, and stop pushing and pant for me. 628 00:30:15,243 --> 00:30:18,603 SHE PANTS 629 00:30:18,603 --> 00:30:20,363 NURSE: Keep going. 630 00:30:22,483 --> 00:30:24,003 Fabulous, well done. 631 00:30:24,003 --> 00:30:26,403 Beautiful baby... 632 00:30:26,403 --> 00:30:28,763 ..girl! HE CHUCKLES 633 00:30:28,763 --> 00:30:30,523 GURGLING CRY 634 00:30:30,523 --> 00:30:31,883 Hello. 635 00:30:33,963 --> 00:30:36,043 That's what I call a Hollywood delivery. 636 00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:37,403 We got it on the first take. 637 00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:41,723 That's it, that's it, that's it. Lovely. 638 00:30:41,723 --> 00:30:44,243 CAMERA CLICKS Say, "Roquefort"! 639 00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:45,923 Gynae theatre's fifth floor. 640 00:30:45,923 --> 00:30:47,723 And they know we're coming? Yeah. 641 00:30:47,723 --> 00:30:50,043 She's going to make it, right? Just hurry. 642 00:30:50,043 --> 00:30:51,243 Go get the door. 643 00:30:53,563 --> 00:30:54,603 Hurry up! 644 00:30:58,763 --> 00:31:00,283 I meant press the... 645 00:31:00,283 --> 00:31:02,123 LOCK CLICKS 646 00:31:02,123 --> 00:31:03,483 Oh. 647 00:31:06,003 --> 00:31:08,523 Right. Well, that's me done. 648 00:31:08,523 --> 00:31:11,363 You got away without so much as a tear. It's really good. 649 00:31:13,203 --> 00:31:14,803 You OK up there? 650 00:31:14,803 --> 00:31:17,483 BABY CRIES Hm? Yeah. I think so. 651 00:31:17,483 --> 00:31:18,763 "Think"...? 652 00:31:21,683 --> 00:31:24,403 Jesus Christ. That's like a litre of the stuff. 653 00:31:24,403 --> 00:31:25,683 Time to earn my money. 654 00:31:25,683 --> 00:31:28,083 Um, you're losing a bit of blood there. 655 00:31:28,083 --> 00:31:31,363 Apologies if it gets a bit busy here while we sort you out. 656 00:31:31,363 --> 00:31:33,323 One litre PPH and counting. Right. 657 00:31:33,323 --> 00:31:35,283 Pull the emergency cord and get the cavalry in. 658 00:31:35,283 --> 00:31:37,843 Take the baby off her. Get some monitoring going. 659 00:31:37,843 --> 00:31:40,323 Lie her flat. High-flow oxygen. 660 00:31:40,323 --> 00:31:42,763 Get me a couple of wide-bore cannulas. 661 00:31:42,763 --> 00:31:45,723 MONITORS BEEP 662 00:31:45,723 --> 00:31:48,203 Very atonic uterus. Let's get a catheter in, 663 00:31:48,203 --> 00:31:50,683 draw up Syntometrine, and get a Synto infusion running. 664 00:31:50,683 --> 00:31:53,123 I'll get the Synto infusion. This? 665 00:31:53,123 --> 00:31:55,123 No, not nasal prongs. I need a high-flow oxygen mask. 666 00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:56,563 And an adult-size cannula. 667 00:31:56,563 --> 00:31:58,643 I'll get the cannula. I'll do it. 668 00:31:58,643 --> 00:32:00,723 Right, you look for some Syntometrine. It's usually 669 00:32:00,723 --> 00:32:02,723 here in the second drawer. How hard was that? 670 00:32:04,523 --> 00:32:06,643 Someone take over the fundal massage. 671 00:32:06,643 --> 00:32:08,123 PATIENT BREATHES HEAVILY 672 00:32:08,123 --> 00:32:09,723 Don't worry, Kathleen. 673 00:32:09,723 --> 00:32:12,603 Get some Carboprost and Misoprostol ready for me. 674 00:32:12,603 --> 00:32:14,563 I'm not sure if we have any of them. 675 00:32:14,563 --> 00:32:15,803 Course you do. You must do. 676 00:32:15,803 --> 00:32:17,883 KATHLEEN MOANS 677 00:32:17,883 --> 00:32:19,803 Where are the doctors? I need doctors. 678 00:32:19,803 --> 00:32:22,163 Inform haematology, a couple of anaesthetists 679 00:32:22,163 --> 00:32:24,003 and let interventional radiology know 680 00:32:24,003 --> 00:32:26,123 that we might need them. Our anaesthetist is on his way, 681 00:32:26,123 --> 00:32:27,683 but there aren't any of those other ones here. 682 00:32:27,683 --> 00:32:29,723 Get Mr Lockhart on the phone now. 683 00:32:31,123 --> 00:32:33,043 I need six units of O negative 684 00:32:33,043 --> 00:32:35,043 before the crossmatched blood is available. 685 00:32:35,043 --> 00:32:37,243 We only keep two units here. I need six units of blood, 686 00:32:37,243 --> 00:32:40,163 I'm not negotiating a discount on bathroom tiles here. 687 00:32:40,163 --> 00:32:41,763 KATHLEEN GASPS 688 00:32:41,763 --> 00:32:43,843 Could someone call my brother, please? 689 00:32:43,843 --> 00:32:45,923 That's a lot of blood we're chucking in. 690 00:32:45,923 --> 00:32:47,483 Be good if we could start? 691 00:32:47,483 --> 00:32:49,603 I'm just the SHO. I've not done it before. 692 00:32:49,603 --> 00:32:50,883 I've not even seen it before. 693 00:32:50,883 --> 00:32:52,323 Didn't you say we need to operate now? 694 00:32:52,323 --> 00:32:54,323 I mean my consultant needs to do it. She's nearly here - 695 00:32:54,323 --> 00:32:56,563 she was just around the corner two minutes ago. 696 00:32:56,563 --> 00:32:58,683 Just like a cab is always round the corner? 697 00:33:00,003 --> 00:33:01,403 Labour ward are on the phone. 698 00:33:01,403 --> 00:33:03,683 They've got a massive post-partum haemorrhage 699 00:33:03,683 --> 00:33:04,723 coming over in an ambulance. 700 00:33:04,723 --> 00:33:06,203 Well, I can only be in one theatre at once. 701 00:33:06,203 --> 00:33:07,803 Shall I go there? 702 00:33:07,803 --> 00:33:10,243 And do what? Faint? What? No. 703 00:33:10,243 --> 00:33:12,923 That was just a blood sugar thing. What do you want me to tell them? 704 00:33:12,923 --> 00:33:15,243 I can't leave until Ms Houghton's here. 705 00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:16,603 I could have a go. 706 00:33:27,763 --> 00:33:28,803 Scalpel, please. 707 00:33:33,923 --> 00:33:34,963 Here we go. 708 00:33:37,563 --> 00:33:38,843 Fucking doors! 709 00:33:38,843 --> 00:33:42,803 Stood there banging for five minutes before a cleaner found me. 710 00:33:42,803 --> 00:33:46,163 Even fucking Cinderella got back through the door after midnight. 711 00:33:46,163 --> 00:33:48,123 We got stuck in a corridor too. 712 00:33:48,123 --> 00:33:50,923 Wow. That's a great story. 713 00:33:50,923 --> 00:33:53,563 Well, we're all here now. Remind me. 714 00:33:53,563 --> 00:33:56,483 32 years old, confirmed ruptured ectopic 715 00:33:56,483 --> 00:33:58,283 with significant peritoneal bleeding. 716 00:33:58,283 --> 00:34:00,083 You scanned her yourself? Yeah. 717 00:34:00,083 --> 00:34:02,603 Fuck me with forceps! You are stepping up. 718 00:34:02,603 --> 00:34:04,803 There's an ambulance transfer coming into labour ward, 719 00:34:04,803 --> 00:34:06,083 so you stay here and do this. 720 00:34:06,083 --> 00:34:09,203 I'm going to go and sort that out. Will do, boss. 721 00:34:09,203 --> 00:34:11,683 I'll crack on here, then. She'll be right as rain. 722 00:34:12,963 --> 00:34:16,283 # Stay out super late tonight 723 00:34:16,283 --> 00:34:19,003 # Picking apples, making pies 724 00:34:19,003 --> 00:34:23,563 # Put a little something in our lemonade 725 00:34:23,563 --> 00:34:25,523 # And take it with us 726 00:34:25,523 --> 00:34:28,283 # We're half awake... # 727 00:34:28,283 --> 00:34:30,763 Major PPH. Lost three litres or so. 728 00:34:30,763 --> 00:34:32,883 Delivered an hour ago at St Agnes. 729 00:34:32,883 --> 00:34:35,163 Er, how many units has she had? 730 00:34:35,163 --> 00:34:37,163 Two at the hospital, one in the ambulance. 731 00:34:37,163 --> 00:34:38,883 Three, two, one. 732 00:34:41,043 --> 00:34:42,123 Thank you. 733 00:34:45,243 --> 00:34:47,883 She's very tachy. Let's hook her up to a couple 734 00:34:47,883 --> 00:34:49,123 more bottles of house red. 735 00:34:49,123 --> 00:34:51,483 Are you happy to scribe? Sure. 736 00:34:51,483 --> 00:34:53,323 Tracy, bleep the on-call haematologist, 737 00:34:53,323 --> 00:34:55,843 we need to discuss plasma and cryo and all that. 738 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:56,883 Right. 739 00:34:58,003 --> 00:35:00,363 What's she had in the way of uterotonics? 740 00:35:00,363 --> 00:35:02,723 Just Syntometrine, and the Synto infusion that's running. 741 00:35:02,723 --> 00:35:04,403 Want to give her some Misoprostol? 742 00:35:04,403 --> 00:35:06,083 Protocol is Carboprost first. 743 00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:07,643 Carboprost! 744 00:35:07,643 --> 00:35:09,443 Good point. 745 00:35:09,443 --> 00:35:10,923 Right, let's get her legs up. 746 00:35:12,283 --> 00:35:14,163 I'm going to run through the four Ts. 747 00:35:14,163 --> 00:35:16,043 Tone. Uterus is boggy. 748 00:35:16,043 --> 00:35:17,483 Er, she's had Syntometrine, 749 00:35:17,483 --> 00:35:20,523 a Synto infusion is running and she's having Carboprost. 750 00:35:20,523 --> 00:35:22,563 Tissue. Was the placenta complete? 751 00:35:22,563 --> 00:35:25,483 Yes. Trauma. Any tears? No. 752 00:35:25,483 --> 00:35:29,003 Thrombin. Any pertinent history? Um...nothing. 753 00:35:29,003 --> 00:35:30,723 Right, make sure to send a clotting. 754 00:35:30,723 --> 00:35:33,523 Done. That's in, and blood running. 755 00:35:35,163 --> 00:35:38,243 # Turn the light out, say goodnight 756 00:35:38,243 --> 00:35:41,323 # No thinking for a little while 757 00:35:42,843 --> 00:35:45,683 # Let's not try to figure out 758 00:35:45,683 --> 00:35:48,243 # Everything at once 759 00:35:48,243 --> 00:35:53,603 # We're half awake in a fake empire. # 760 00:36:00,363 --> 00:36:03,643 Yet another transfer from St Hopeless. 761 00:36:03,643 --> 00:36:05,123 Mm. 762 00:36:05,123 --> 00:36:07,643 One day they're going to kill someone, you know? 763 00:36:07,643 --> 00:36:09,683 It's a shame we don't see any of the cash 764 00:36:09,683 --> 00:36:11,883 those poor patients spend. 765 00:36:11,883 --> 00:36:13,603 SHE TUTS 766 00:36:22,003 --> 00:36:24,843 Nice work tonight, by the way. 767 00:36:24,843 --> 00:36:26,523 Ms Houghton's basically, er, 768 00:36:26,523 --> 00:36:29,003 writing a four-act opera about how great you are. 769 00:36:36,043 --> 00:36:38,563 Is it wrong for me to feel proud? 770 00:36:41,763 --> 00:36:44,723 You're so...good. 771 00:36:46,523 --> 00:36:47,683 Mm-hm. 772 00:36:50,523 --> 00:36:53,643 You still pissed off with me? About the engagement party? 773 00:36:53,643 --> 00:36:55,083 No, I'm just tired. 774 00:36:55,083 --> 00:36:56,683 I really am sorry. 775 00:36:56,683 --> 00:36:58,363 It's fine. 776 00:36:58,363 --> 00:37:01,003 Anyway, you're only as good as your last patient, aren't you? 777 00:37:01,003 --> 00:37:02,043 I bloody hope not. 778 00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:12,003 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. 779 00:37:12,003 --> 00:37:14,243 Exam results were out yesterday. 780 00:37:14,243 --> 00:37:15,563 Yeah. 781 00:37:16,763 --> 00:37:18,083 And...? 782 00:37:20,323 --> 00:37:22,003 I passed. 783 00:37:22,003 --> 00:37:24,403 That's amazing, Shruts. Well done. 784 00:37:26,083 --> 00:37:28,283 I mean, obviously you did. HE CHUCKLES 785 00:37:29,603 --> 00:37:33,043 Well...we need to celebrate. What you doing tomorrow night? 786 00:37:33,043 --> 00:37:35,123 I'm off after nights. 787 00:37:38,043 --> 00:37:40,723 Well, whenever, you know. The offer's there. 788 00:37:44,243 --> 00:37:46,883 Well...enjoy your break... 789 00:37:48,043 --> 00:37:50,563 ..and see you soon for the next instalment. 790 00:37:50,563 --> 00:37:52,243 Yeah, I'll see ya. 791 00:37:52,243 --> 00:37:53,563 See ya. Kay? 792 00:37:59,283 --> 00:38:01,883 I'm sorry. I really did try. 793 00:38:25,883 --> 00:38:27,883 Didn't we say no feet on the table, Adam? 794 00:38:37,083 --> 00:38:40,443 So, how was your first private shift? 795 00:38:42,123 --> 00:38:43,683 Yeah, it was fine, thanks. 796 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:48,043 Isn't that chandelier in the entrance hall stunning? 797 00:38:52,843 --> 00:38:55,323 You know, it wasn't all right, it was awful. 798 00:38:57,323 --> 00:39:00,243 Attempted murder with a side order of asparagus risotto. 799 00:39:00,243 --> 00:39:02,363 LAUGHING: What do you mean? 800 00:39:05,723 --> 00:39:07,723 Look, you don't have to listen to me 801 00:39:07,723 --> 00:39:11,603 and you probably won't, but I have to say this. 802 00:39:11,603 --> 00:39:14,083 Go private for your bunions or your haemorrhoids. 803 00:39:14,083 --> 00:39:16,083 But not for your baby, it's not safe. 804 00:39:18,283 --> 00:39:19,883 Don't be ridiculous. 805 00:39:19,883 --> 00:39:24,163 Yes, they've got fancy uniforms and a pillow menu. 806 00:39:24,163 --> 00:39:26,323 But do you really want that chandelier 807 00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:27,483 to be the last thing you see 808 00:39:27,483 --> 00:39:30,403 before they cart you off for the NHS to save your life? 809 00:39:30,403 --> 00:39:32,243 That hospital was not prepared, 810 00:39:32,243 --> 00:39:34,603 and my patient nearly died last night. 811 00:39:34,603 --> 00:39:36,523 You serious? Absolutely. 812 00:39:37,963 --> 00:39:41,403 Save your money. Spend it on, like, 20 holidays. 813 00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:47,203 Thank you, Adam. 814 00:39:48,243 --> 00:39:50,003 I really appreciate your honesty. 815 00:39:52,843 --> 00:39:54,323 Come on. 816 00:39:54,323 --> 00:39:55,723 THEY LAUGH 817 00:39:55,723 --> 00:39:57,123 Oh! 818 00:39:58,763 --> 00:40:00,723 Although it'd be two holidays. 819 00:40:00,723 --> 00:40:04,243 Or one proper summer one. 820 00:40:04,243 --> 00:40:05,323 Whoopsie. 821 00:40:29,363 --> 00:40:31,003 SENSOR BEEPS 822 00:40:32,363 --> 00:40:34,483 Ah, the fragrant air of underfunding. 823 00:40:48,603 --> 00:40:50,363 What's going on? What's happened? 824 00:41:10,363 --> 00:41:11,523 Tracy? 825 00:41:18,283 --> 00:41:19,403 Adam, er... 826 00:41:22,443 --> 00:41:25,163 TEARFULLY: ..I don't know what she was thinking. 827 00:41:27,603 --> 00:41:28,683 What? 828 00:41:47,843 --> 00:41:52,123 RINGING TONE 829 00:41:52,123 --> 00:41:53,963 'Hey, it's Harry. 830 00:41:53,963 --> 00:41:56,803 'I can't take your call right now, but leave a message...' 831 00:42:07,803 --> 00:42:09,283 HE SIGHS 832 00:42:23,603 --> 00:42:26,643 HE SOBS