1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,323 Can I ask what you're doing here? 2 00:00:03,323 --> 00:00:04,763 I'm the doctor who delivered your nephew. 3 00:00:04,763 --> 00:00:05,923 That's why I'm asking if it's appropriate 4 00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:07,003 for you to be here with my sister. 5 00:00:07,003 --> 00:00:08,283 The mum's lodged a complaint. 6 00:00:08,283 --> 00:00:10,203 Is that your statement? I've not even started mine yet. 7 00:00:10,203 --> 00:00:12,403 I've only managed seven words and a coffee stain. 8 00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,843 Write that you discussed with me over the phone 9 00:00:14,843 --> 00:00:16,883 and that I advised you to send her home. 10 00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,643 I know you hoped I'd marry Helen, 11 00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:21,003 Mum, you've mentioned it every 40 minutes for the last five years. 12 00:00:21,003 --> 00:00:23,283 Would your friend like a chocolate? Boyfriend, actually. 13 00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:25,883 I'm very happy, and we love each other, and we're gay. 14 00:00:25,883 --> 00:00:27,003 Both of you? 15 00:00:27,003 --> 00:00:28,683 Will you marry me? Of course I will. 16 00:00:38,883 --> 00:00:40,523 TRACY: Bye! Don't forget her lunch! 17 00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:41,923 MAN: Yeah, I know, darling. 18 00:00:44,603 --> 00:00:47,043 ALARM BEEPS 19 00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:56,483 # Cradle me, I'll cradle you 20 00:00:56,483 --> 00:00:58,443 ALARM BEEPS 21 00:00:58,443 --> 00:01:00,443 # I'll win your heart with a woop-a-woo 22 00:01:00,443 --> 00:01:04,483 # Pulling shapes just for your eyes 23 00:01:05,763 --> 00:01:09,283 # So with toothpaste kisses 24 00:01:09,283 --> 00:01:11,723 # And lines 25 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:14,043 # I'll be yours and you'll be 26 00:01:14,043 --> 00:01:17,523 # Lay with me, I'll lay with you 27 00:01:17,523 --> 00:01:22,403 # We'll do the things that lovers do 28 00:01:22,403 --> 00:01:26,243 # Put the stars in our eyes 29 00:01:26,243 --> 00:01:31,083 # And with heart-shaped bruises 30 00:01:31,083 --> 00:01:35,483 # And late night kisses, divine... # 31 00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:45,843 ENGINE FAILS TO START Come on. 32 00:01:54,603 --> 00:01:56,203 KNOCK ON WINDOW 33 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,483 Dozy twat! 34 00:01:59,603 --> 00:02:01,363 Sorry. ENGINE CUTS OUT 35 00:02:02,483 --> 00:02:05,323 ENGINE FAILS TO START HORNS BEEP 36 00:02:05,323 --> 00:02:06,523 All right! 37 00:02:17,363 --> 00:02:19,763 So, doing anything fun tonight? 38 00:02:20,803 --> 00:02:24,683 Yes, actually. I thought I'd, erm, go home three hours late, 39 00:02:24,683 --> 00:02:27,283 get shouted at and fall asleep on the toilet. 40 00:02:28,403 --> 00:02:29,883 There should be some kind of legal form 41 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,923 that people have to sign before they date doctors. 42 00:02:31,923 --> 00:02:34,243 What, like sex offenders do? Yeah, exactly. 43 00:02:39,483 --> 00:02:42,923 Your girlfriend must be used to the late nights by now, though, right? 44 00:02:42,923 --> 00:02:44,283 Fiance, actually. 45 00:02:44,283 --> 00:02:45,563 Oh, congratulations! 46 00:02:45,563 --> 00:02:48,283 And it's F-I-N-A-N-C-E. 47 00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:52,883 "Finance"? 48 00:02:52,883 --> 00:02:56,163 No, I meant, erm, as in...one E. 49 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,523 The male version. 50 00:02:59,523 --> 00:03:00,843 I'm gay. 51 00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:03,203 Oh, shit. Oh, sorr... 52 00:03:03,203 --> 00:03:04,883 Erm, I didn't... It's fine. 53 00:03:04,883 --> 00:03:08,363 My alpha-male demeanour clearly threw you off the scent. 54 00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:10,723 So, who proposed, then? 55 00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:12,643 We both sort of did, actually. 56 00:03:13,603 --> 00:03:15,203 In a graveyard. Obviously. 57 00:03:16,523 --> 00:03:18,603 We're actually exchanging the rings tonight. 58 00:03:18,603 --> 00:03:20,203 That's lovely. 59 00:03:21,763 --> 00:03:23,843 Do you have a special someone you apologise to? 60 00:03:23,843 --> 00:03:25,523 Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 61 00:03:25,523 --> 00:03:27,963 I'm actually in a polyamorous 62 00:03:27,963 --> 00:03:29,923 three-way relationship right now, so it's me, 63 00:03:29,923 --> 00:03:32,763 gynaecology textbooks and a bucket of cheap chow mein. 64 00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:34,763 Right. How does the sex work with the three of you? 65 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:37,403 Hm! Sounds intriguing! 66 00:03:37,403 --> 00:03:40,283 Right, this complaint, then. 67 00:03:41,243 --> 00:03:43,563 I've just sent off my statement, 68 00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:46,003 and when you do yours, you're obviously going to say 69 00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:48,763 what happened on the night in question. 70 00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:49,803 Yeah, of course. 71 00:03:51,363 --> 00:03:53,763 That you told us to send the patient home. 72 00:03:53,763 --> 00:03:56,603 Yeah, but that was before it was a complaint. 73 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,483 Now I think we need to be 74 00:03:58,483 --> 00:04:01,123 a little more scrupulous with the facts. 75 00:04:01,123 --> 00:04:04,763 Fuck! He's withdrawing what he said. The bastard! 76 00:04:04,763 --> 00:04:07,363 He's withdrawing it like a condomless cock 77 00:04:07,363 --> 00:04:09,003 and spraying it in our faces. 78 00:04:09,003 --> 00:04:11,003 You sent her home without asking me. 79 00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:13,003 That's the truth, and I strongly suggest 80 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,163 that that's what you write in your statements. 81 00:04:15,163 --> 00:04:17,163 Fudging the facts can only make things 82 00:04:17,163 --> 00:04:18,603 worse in the long run. 83 00:04:18,603 --> 00:04:20,923 Of course, Mr Lockhart. 84 00:04:20,923 --> 00:04:23,763 I've always wondered what the underneath of a bus looks like. 85 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,203 Well, off you go. 86 00:04:31,963 --> 00:04:33,203 Shut the door. 87 00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:35,483 I thought you said this wasn't a disaster. 88 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,563 "This isn't a GMC thing. 89 00:04:36,563 --> 00:04:38,083 "We're not going to get struck off." 90 00:04:38,083 --> 00:04:39,643 It's precisely a disaster. 91 00:04:39,643 --> 00:04:41,803 But can't we just write the truth on our forms 92 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,083 and sweat it out? 93 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,603 Well, I would do that, obviously, 94 00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:46,763 but I've already submitted my statement. 95 00:04:46,763 --> 00:04:48,163 And you wrote...? 96 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,683 That he told us to send the patient home! 97 00:04:49,683 --> 00:04:51,403 I mean, what was I supposed to say to him? 98 00:04:51,403 --> 00:04:53,603 "That's so kind to offer, but, no, thanks." 99 00:04:57,283 --> 00:05:00,083 Listen, it's fine. I'll handle it. 100 00:05:01,203 --> 00:05:03,563 How? I've got something. It's fine. 101 00:05:03,563 --> 00:05:04,843 You'd better. 102 00:05:06,243 --> 00:05:08,723 Got nothing. It's very un-fine. 103 00:05:08,723 --> 00:05:11,083 Yes, I'm still really enjoying it. 104 00:05:11,083 --> 00:05:12,523 Nine babies now. 105 00:05:13,483 --> 00:05:15,363 Yeah, they went really well. 106 00:05:16,323 --> 00:05:18,483 Yeah, their parents all named them Shruti, so... 107 00:05:18,483 --> 00:05:20,643 No, Mum, that was a joke. I was... 108 00:05:20,643 --> 00:05:22,963 I was obviously joking. They don't really do that. 109 00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:25,123 No, I can't next week. That's not how the rota works. 110 00:05:25,123 --> 00:05:26,723 Yeah, of course I'm eating. 111 00:05:28,483 --> 00:05:30,203 Oh, er, that's my bleep going off. 112 00:05:31,403 --> 00:05:32,763 Yeah, I'd better get that. 113 00:05:34,243 --> 00:05:35,403 Uh-huh. Will do. 114 00:05:38,523 --> 00:05:40,323 SHE SPEAKS HINDI 115 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,803 OK. 116 00:05:43,803 --> 00:05:45,923 Yeah. Love to Dad. 117 00:05:48,563 --> 00:05:50,283 OK, bye. Bye. 118 00:06:05,883 --> 00:06:07,603 TOILET FLUSHES 119 00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:18,683 All right? 120 00:06:20,523 --> 00:06:23,243 Here. Use this. 121 00:06:23,243 --> 00:06:25,443 That stuff'll sand your face off. 122 00:06:26,483 --> 00:06:27,563 Thank you. 123 00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:57,243 Oh, thank God you're here. Go on. 124 00:06:57,243 --> 00:07:01,443 I have been totally abandoned. I'm on my own here today. 125 00:07:01,443 --> 00:07:03,883 Tracy and Ria have been sent off 126 00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:07,243 on some stupid course, and we've got triplets to deliver. 127 00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:10,003 Triplets? Exactly. Three times the chance something'll go wrong. 128 00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:12,643 Triplets happen one in every 6,500 pregnancies. 129 00:07:12,643 --> 00:07:14,523 Not often on a labour ward do you get the chance 130 00:07:14,523 --> 00:07:16,563 to do something you've never done before. 131 00:07:16,563 --> 00:07:17,603 Today of all days! 132 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,403 What are the odds? Go on, what are the odds? Of triplets? 133 00:07:20,403 --> 00:07:21,523 Oh, erm, one in 4,000? 134 00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:24,803 Actually, that's wrong. Once you take IVF into account. 135 00:07:24,803 --> 00:07:26,843 All right, Stephen Dorking. 136 00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:28,923 Erm, who's the consultant on today? 137 00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:30,443 Erm, I think it's Ms Houghton. 138 00:07:30,443 --> 00:07:31,803 I saw her in the toilet. 139 00:07:31,803 --> 00:07:33,603 Can I have a quick word? 140 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:38,843 Yeah. No midwives, no ward clerk, and now the doctors are leaving. 141 00:07:38,843 --> 00:07:41,283 OK, so, this statement thing, right? It's easy. 142 00:07:41,283 --> 00:07:43,123 All you should do is just, like, send in a new one. 143 00:07:43,123 --> 00:07:45,643 Yeah? Like, just say you made a typo or something. 144 00:07:45,643 --> 00:07:47,323 Right. One of those typos where 145 00:07:47,323 --> 00:07:49,603 I accidentally falsified my whole story. 146 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,843 Well, you have to do something. It's my career, too. 147 00:07:51,843 --> 00:07:54,283 Don't suppose there's anybody fucking working here today, 148 00:07:54,283 --> 00:07:56,083 is there? Sorry, Ms Houghton. 149 00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:58,083 We were just, er... All right, you. 150 00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,763 I hope those shoes have got steel toecaps. 151 00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:01,723 We're going to kick today a whole new arsehole. 152 00:08:01,723 --> 00:08:04,403 OK... Are you going to do something 153 00:08:04,403 --> 00:08:06,243 or just stand there like a bottle of fucking mayonnaise? 154 00:08:08,443 --> 00:08:10,643 Why don't you get a round of coffees in? 155 00:08:12,603 --> 00:08:14,843 Tell you what, get yourself one, too. 156 00:08:40,723 --> 00:08:42,923 Sorry, darling. The bus broke down. 157 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,883 No problem, just grab a name badge and find a seat. 158 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:53,963 So, as I was saying, geriatrics should now be referred to as... 159 00:08:53,963 --> 00:08:56,123 .."care of the older person". 160 00:08:56,123 --> 00:08:58,963 "Care of the older person"? They make it sound like a spa. 161 00:08:58,963 --> 00:09:00,803 I don't know why they don't just go the whole hog, 162 00:09:00,803 --> 00:09:02,203 call it "care of the inevitable". 163 00:09:02,203 --> 00:09:04,443 I'm sure it used to be called that three directives ago. 164 00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:05,723 THEY LAUGH 165 00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:08,043 Anything I can help you with, ladies? 166 00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:13,603 Oh, we were just saying that it's, erm, it's great that, er, 167 00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:16,123 older patients will no longer be crippled 168 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,723 by old-fashioned language. We... 169 00:09:18,723 --> 00:09:20,963 We don't say "crippled". 170 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,243 Apologies. 171 00:09:24,243 --> 00:09:25,963 UNDER BREATH: You twat. 172 00:09:25,963 --> 00:09:30,243 Patients should now be referred to as..."clients". 173 00:09:30,243 --> 00:09:32,043 That's because the word "patient" 174 00:09:32,043 --> 00:09:34,483 actually stems from the Latin "patiens", which.... 175 00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:36,563 If they're clients, then what are we? 176 00:09:36,563 --> 00:09:40,163 Prostitutes? Well, at least if I was a prostitute, 177 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,123 I wouldn't have to put up with that prick. 178 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,363 I wouldn't bet on it. 179 00:09:43,363 --> 00:09:45,363 THEY LAUGH 180 00:09:45,363 --> 00:09:48,523 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT I'm just equipping you with 181 00:09:48,523 --> 00:09:50,323 the right language to do your jobs properly. 182 00:09:52,563 --> 00:09:55,003 I'm sure my patients will be thrilled. 183 00:09:56,203 --> 00:09:57,803 Clients. 184 00:09:57,803 --> 00:09:59,483 BOTH: Clients! 185 00:10:06,403 --> 00:10:08,083 Did you go to fucking Brazil for those? 186 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:12,043 Sorry, there was, erm, only one person working at the coffee shop. 187 00:10:12,043 --> 00:10:15,163 "There was a lah-lah-lah-lah-lah." 188 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,203 Keeping the change, or what? 189 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:24,723 Yeah. Ms Houghton, I've been thinking a lot about triplets. 190 00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:26,403 No-one wants to hear about your wank bank. 191 00:10:26,403 --> 00:10:27,723 Very pithy. 192 00:10:27,723 --> 00:10:29,523 So, what I meant was, erm, 193 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:31,843 with regard to the forthcoming operative 194 00:10:31,843 --> 00:10:36,683 delivery of the triplets... Oh! Such verisimilitude, Dr Kay. 195 00:10:36,683 --> 00:10:38,083 I don't know what it means. 196 00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:41,123 I just felt the need to join in with the fancy words. 197 00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:42,723 Erm... 198 00:10:42,723 --> 00:10:45,443 ..about the, er, triplets, erm... 199 00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:49,883 ..I wonder if you might allow me to perhaps do the Caesarean. 200 00:10:51,363 --> 00:10:54,403 I've obviously done several sets of twins, and, erm... 201 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,083 ..it would be an incredible boost 202 00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:58,483 to my professional development to have the opportunity 203 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,203 to, erm, to learn your technique. 204 00:11:01,763 --> 00:11:04,043 What the fuck do you think the technique is? 205 00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:06,163 You pull the babies out 206 00:11:06,163 --> 00:11:09,403 till there aren't any more fucking babies to pull out. 207 00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:12,203 Right, shall we go and meet the parents? 208 00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:14,843 Sorry, "encounter the progenitors". 209 00:11:18,043 --> 00:11:20,283 I'd say this is going very well. 210 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,843 Hi! I'm Adam, 211 00:11:27,843 --> 00:11:31,083 one of the doctors, and this is Ms Houghton, the consultant. 212 00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,603 This is nice, isn't it? 213 00:11:32,603 --> 00:11:34,923 It's like having a town crier. 214 00:11:34,923 --> 00:11:38,163 My name's Vicky. You are...? 215 00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:40,883 I'm Jasmine, and this is Dave. 216 00:11:40,883 --> 00:11:43,643 Lovely. I hear you've got a little something for me. 217 00:11:43,643 --> 00:11:46,763 Oh, erm, yeah, three little somethings. 218 00:11:46,763 --> 00:11:49,083 Three Little Birds. Do you remember that one? 219 00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:52,763 Come on, you know it. 220 00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:54,083 # Three little birds 221 00:11:54,083 --> 00:11:56,123 # Pitched by my doorstep 222 00:11:56,123 --> 00:11:58,043 # Singing sweet songs 223 00:11:58,043 --> 00:12:00,563 # Of melodies pure and true 224 00:12:00,563 --> 00:12:06,203 # Saying, this is a message to you-ou-ou... # 225 00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,923 BOTH LAUGH AWKWARDLY 226 00:12:07,923 --> 00:12:10,043 # ..Singing don't worry 227 00:12:10,043 --> 00:12:11,723 # 'Bout a thing 228 00:12:11,723 --> 00:12:13,883 # Cos... # 229 00:12:13,883 --> 00:12:15,603 Come on, you're up, guys. 230 00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,003 BOTH: # E...Every little thing 231 00:12:19,003 --> 00:12:21,083 # Is gonna be all right... # 232 00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:22,363 # Rise up this morning... # 233 00:12:27,883 --> 00:12:29,883 Yeah, I'm not going to lie, we don't get triplets in here 234 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,843 every day! Thank goodness. 235 00:12:33,203 --> 00:12:35,123 Yeah, thank goodness. Last thing we need's 236 00:12:35,123 --> 00:12:37,643 a world shortage of bootees and bonnets! 237 00:12:37,643 --> 00:12:39,443 You're in safe hands. 238 00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:42,403 I mean, we've got three goes, so 239 00:12:42,403 --> 00:12:45,443 by the time the last one's out, we'll be great at it, won't we? 240 00:12:45,443 --> 00:12:47,643 You got names sorted? 241 00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:50,363 Yeah. We reckon so. 242 00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:52,523 Milly, Billie and Lily. 243 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:54,963 It's difficult finding three names that rhyme. 244 00:12:56,523 --> 00:12:57,803 No comment. 245 00:12:59,483 --> 00:13:01,523 What time do you want to get her round to theatre? 246 00:13:01,523 --> 00:13:03,323 Well, there's no time like the present. 247 00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:05,483 Shall we see if the theatre's ready? 248 00:13:06,963 --> 00:13:09,243 I think someone's toast's burning. 249 00:13:09,243 --> 00:13:11,523 Probably just electing a new Pope. 250 00:13:11,523 --> 00:13:13,763 Yeah, Pope Eggs Benedict XV! 251 00:13:13,763 --> 00:13:15,483 Pope Shepherd's Pius II. 252 00:13:15,483 --> 00:13:17,403 "Shepherd's Pius"! 253 00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:20,883 Did you hear that? Yeah. 254 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,723 TRACY: Sorry, can we get back to the triplets? 255 00:13:23,723 --> 00:13:25,603 What, Huey, Dewey and Louie? 256 00:13:25,603 --> 00:13:27,403 Bordering on child abuse. 257 00:13:27,403 --> 00:13:28,763 ADAM CHUCKLES 258 00:13:28,763 --> 00:13:30,803 Had one the other week called Lasagne! 259 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,163 Lasagne! 260 00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:35,523 Yeah, I'm sure the patients 261 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,803 on the labour ward apologised for not having 262 00:13:37,803 --> 00:13:39,363 your level of education, Dr Kay. 263 00:13:39,363 --> 00:13:43,163 Well, I didn't... Shruti, you're doing the triplets. 264 00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:45,243 You, why don't you get yourself down to A&E, 265 00:13:45,243 --> 00:13:47,963 see if you can clear some of the backlog? 266 00:13:47,963 --> 00:13:50,723 There's a bloody good bloody old chap. 267 00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:24,563 Hi, Erika. How are you doing? 268 00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:27,883 Oh, you know, pomme ci, pomme ca. 269 00:14:27,883 --> 00:14:29,283 It's actually... 270 00:14:30,523 --> 00:14:32,963 Yeah. Can I ask you a question about mist? 271 00:14:32,963 --> 00:14:34,483 Erm, yes, I...guess. 272 00:14:34,483 --> 00:14:36,203 Well, he's got a lump on the back of his head. 273 00:14:36,203 --> 00:14:37,483 Sorry, what...? 274 00:14:37,483 --> 00:14:39,363 Look, you can see under his hat, look. 275 00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:41,923 He's got a lump right at the back. Oh, I'm sorry. 276 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,243 I didn't realise you'd... Mist. 277 00:14:45,683 --> 00:14:47,043 What a nice name. 278 00:14:49,363 --> 00:14:52,643 What's wrong with calling a baby Steve once in a while? 279 00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:54,923 Does it have, erm, a special meaning? 280 00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:56,683 Oh, yeah, yeah, it does, actually. 281 00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:57,923 It's like a type of rain. 282 00:14:59,563 --> 00:15:01,723 Could you...have a look for me? 283 00:15:01,723 --> 00:15:04,123 Oh, that's not really my speciality. 284 00:15:04,123 --> 00:15:07,043 Best to ask the baby doctors when they come round. 285 00:15:07,043 --> 00:15:09,003 Yeah, but they haven't been round yet this morning, 286 00:15:09,003 --> 00:15:10,923 and I tried to get someone to come over, 287 00:15:10,923 --> 00:15:13,883 but no-one's coming over, so I'm getting... 288 00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:17,763 Have a quick look. 289 00:15:19,123 --> 00:15:21,363 It's just under here. 290 00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:22,403 Can you see? 291 00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:28,523 OK, erm, that's called an occipital protuberance. 292 00:15:28,523 --> 00:15:29,563 Oh, my God! 293 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:32,443 Will... Will he be OK? 294 00:15:32,443 --> 00:15:34,443 Yeah. It's normal. You've got one here. 295 00:15:36,243 --> 00:15:38,723 Oh, did he catch it from me? 296 00:15:38,723 --> 00:15:41,203 What, is his brain going to be, like...all right? 297 00:15:42,603 --> 00:15:45,883 Erm, honestly, it's nothing at all to worry about. 298 00:15:45,883 --> 00:15:48,763 Sorry. Thank you, Dr Adam. 299 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,723 You're just the best! 300 00:15:52,763 --> 00:15:54,363 All part of the job. HE CHUCKLES 301 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,363 I hope you don't mind me asking, sorry, 302 00:15:59,363 --> 00:16:01,843 but why have you made a complaint about me? 303 00:16:01,843 --> 00:16:03,963 Oh, no, no, it's not about you. 304 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,523 It's about the hospital. 305 00:16:05,523 --> 00:16:07,923 Right, it's just that it does put quite a lot of pressure, 306 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,763 you know, sort of stress on me. 307 00:16:09,763 --> 00:16:10,843 Oh. Erm... 308 00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:16,523 It's just my sister said we should get something back after... 309 00:16:17,483 --> 00:16:18,963 ..after what happened. 310 00:16:21,483 --> 00:16:23,843 Sure. OK. HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 311 00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,523 Don't judge me. 312 00:16:27,563 --> 00:16:29,563 Erika, sorry, I don't m-m-mean to 313 00:16:29,563 --> 00:16:32,523 speak out of turn. Erm, I'm just wondering if... 314 00:16:34,483 --> 00:16:37,163 ..maybe the reason that you haven't been able to see 315 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,003 a baby doctor this morning is because they're avoiding you, 316 00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,643 in case, you know, 317 00:16:41,643 --> 00:16:43,243 you complain about them, too. 318 00:16:43,243 --> 00:16:46,283 But they wouldn't do anything to put my baby in danger, though. 319 00:16:46,283 --> 00:16:47,763 Erm... 320 00:16:47,763 --> 00:16:50,363 Listen, if I was looking after him, 321 00:16:50,363 --> 00:16:53,363 it wouldn't affect my care one bit. I just... 322 00:16:55,003 --> 00:16:56,803 I can't speak for everyone here. 323 00:17:00,883 --> 00:17:03,003 But ignore me, because I... 324 00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:05,403 Yeah, I shouldn't have said anything. 325 00:17:05,403 --> 00:17:06,883 What do you think I should do? 326 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:11,123 Erm, I think you're going to figure it out. 327 00:17:11,123 --> 00:17:12,523 You know, mums know best. 328 00:17:12,523 --> 00:17:14,363 And stay strong, really, for Mist. 329 00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:32,923 HUBBUB 330 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,803 We've been here for about an hour! 331 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,003 Come on, then. 332 00:18:00,963 --> 00:18:02,643 Here we go. OK? 333 00:18:21,963 --> 00:18:23,923 Big pull. 334 00:18:23,923 --> 00:18:25,083 There you are. 335 00:18:27,243 --> 00:18:28,883 Are you sure you don't want to do it? 336 00:18:28,883 --> 00:18:30,963 Yeah, you're kind to offer, mate, but what I actually want 337 00:18:30,963 --> 00:18:32,363 is 20 Rothmans Superkings, 338 00:18:32,363 --> 00:18:34,523 and at the moment you're standing in the way of them. 339 00:18:34,523 --> 00:18:37,123 Right, bang a finger in there, then. That's it. 340 00:18:37,123 --> 00:18:39,723 OK, nearly there. OK. 341 00:18:39,723 --> 00:18:41,363 Just a few more seconds. Yeah. 342 00:18:43,643 --> 00:18:47,323 OK. The good news is, I can't see any cause of the bleeding. 343 00:18:47,323 --> 00:18:49,323 And what are you doing this evening? 344 00:18:49,323 --> 00:18:50,523 Funny you should ask. 345 00:18:50,523 --> 00:18:52,963 I'm going to this restaurant that we really love. 346 00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:55,803 Oh, OK, great. Er, can you call the New York office 347 00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:57,723 when they open and get someone to overnight the documents? 348 00:18:57,723 --> 00:19:01,363 Uh-huh. Ooh, yeah, and make sure someone from derivatives 349 00:19:01,363 --> 00:19:04,283 knows they're coming. Fab. OK, thanks so much. 350 00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:05,763 MS HOUGHTON: Whoa! 351 00:19:05,763 --> 00:19:07,763 It's like the front row at SeaWorld here. 352 00:19:07,763 --> 00:19:09,363 OK, see if you can grab a leg. 353 00:19:09,363 --> 00:19:10,923 SUCTION 354 00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:14,843 Um, I'm pretty sure that's an arm. 355 00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:17,683 It's been a long time since I've been at med school, but... 356 00:19:17,683 --> 00:19:20,363 Do you want to have another try of the lucky dip there, Shruti? 357 00:19:20,363 --> 00:19:22,483 Got it. Beautiful! 358 00:19:23,483 --> 00:19:25,963 Right, yeah, I think I can see what the problem is. 359 00:19:34,643 --> 00:19:36,923 Any idea how he might have got in there? 360 00:19:40,403 --> 00:19:43,123 First baby coming up. 361 00:19:43,123 --> 00:19:44,803 BABY CRIES 362 00:19:44,803 --> 00:19:47,203 Hooray! 363 00:19:48,283 --> 00:19:49,523 Look. 364 00:19:55,683 --> 00:19:57,323 OK. 365 00:20:01,963 --> 00:20:03,203 Stick or twist? 366 00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:06,843 All right. Guys, she's going again. 367 00:20:08,003 --> 00:20:09,323 Erm, one question. 368 00:20:09,323 --> 00:20:11,403 Why have you got a bottle in here? 369 00:20:11,403 --> 00:20:12,803 It's got my mum's piss in it. 370 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,243 Forgive me for asking a follow-up question... 371 00:20:16,243 --> 00:20:18,363 It's a drug test for my probation officer. 372 00:20:19,643 --> 00:20:21,843 You're creating a lot of paperwork for me here. 373 00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:24,723 How about...I fell on it? 374 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,523 We have a winner. 375 00:20:34,403 --> 00:20:35,963 Oi, oi, oi. I need that. 376 00:20:35,963 --> 00:20:37,443 Give me my shit, man. 377 00:20:41,963 --> 00:20:43,723 BABY CRIES 378 00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:45,563 Two for the price of one. Hooray! 379 00:20:48,723 --> 00:20:50,163 Hello, sweetheart. 380 00:20:55,603 --> 00:20:58,203 Right, what do you reckon, are we going in for number three? Mm-hm. 381 00:20:58,203 --> 00:21:00,243 You're doing great. 382 00:21:00,243 --> 00:21:02,123 Respect. 383 00:21:02,123 --> 00:21:03,923 Thanks for that. 384 00:21:03,923 --> 00:21:07,043 Empathy. Lovely, Ian. Thanks. 385 00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:09,443 Confidentiality? Terrific! 386 00:21:10,483 --> 00:21:13,043 Erm, compassion. Great! 387 00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:20,163 Next time I'm pregnant with triplets, 388 00:21:20,163 --> 00:21:21,563 I'm getting you to do them. 389 00:21:21,563 --> 00:21:23,683 Bang-up job there. Thank you. 390 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:26,123 Oh, shit! What? 391 00:21:26,123 --> 00:21:28,243 I think you left some scissors inside her. 392 00:21:29,483 --> 00:21:31,323 You'd better open her up again. 393 00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:34,683 Oh! Erm... OK. I'm so sorry! I, erm... 394 00:21:34,683 --> 00:21:36,283 MS HOUGHTON LAUGHS 395 00:21:36,283 --> 00:21:37,923 Gotcha! 396 00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:39,643 Oh... 397 00:21:42,243 --> 00:21:44,483 SHE CONTINUES LAUGHING 398 00:21:47,483 --> 00:21:49,203 Ms Houghton, erm, 399 00:21:49,203 --> 00:21:51,483 I was wondering if you might have a free moment for me 400 00:21:51,483 --> 00:21:53,563 to pick your brain about something? About work, really. 401 00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:55,483 I can pop by your office if you've got a free minute. 402 00:21:55,483 --> 00:21:58,243 Sounds awful. Here's a better idea. How about we do it 403 00:21:58,243 --> 00:22:00,763 over a quattro stagioni and a bottle of Jacob's Creek? 404 00:22:00,763 --> 00:22:02,803 Well, I wouldn't want to take up too much of your time. 405 00:22:02,803 --> 00:22:04,643 Do I look like I eat slowly? 406 00:22:04,643 --> 00:22:07,923 Finish off the skin. I need to take my lung medicine. 407 00:22:10,723 --> 00:22:12,643 MAN CRIES OUT 408 00:22:22,603 --> 00:22:24,323 Dr Kay? 409 00:22:24,323 --> 00:22:25,643 I was told you'd be down here. 410 00:22:25,643 --> 00:22:27,683 My sister's in bits, thinking she's endangered her baby. 411 00:22:27,683 --> 00:22:30,323 Erm, I'm sorry, I don't know what... How could you say that to her? 412 00:22:30,323 --> 00:22:31,643 You don't understand. 413 00:22:31,643 --> 00:22:34,963 I, er, I didn't say that she had, erm... 414 00:22:36,483 --> 00:22:39,723 I, erm, had worked two shifts back-to-back 415 00:22:39,723 --> 00:22:42,443 the day I delivered her, I'd slept for three hours 416 00:22:42,443 --> 00:22:44,963 in two nights. There was all this pressure at the hospital. 417 00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:47,763 I had to miss my best friend's stag do. 418 00:22:47,763 --> 00:22:50,523 How dare you try and make me feel bad! 419 00:22:50,523 --> 00:22:52,443 We're exercising our legal rights. 420 00:22:52,443 --> 00:22:56,923 Your mistake had consequences for my sister and my nephew. 421 00:22:56,923 --> 00:22:59,323 And that's going to have consequences for you. 422 00:23:02,643 --> 00:23:04,483 OK, next one. 423 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:08,163 "Suffers from." "Suffers from." 424 00:23:08,163 --> 00:23:10,163 What do we say instead? 425 00:23:11,883 --> 00:23:15,123 "Lives with"? "Lives with," yeah. 426 00:23:15,123 --> 00:23:17,763 Thanks, Ian. OK, next one. "Disabled." 427 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:20,403 "Differently abled." "Differently abled"! 428 00:23:20,403 --> 00:23:23,363 Well, the blue team are on fire! 429 00:23:23,363 --> 00:23:26,723 Er, yeah, question from the red team. 430 00:23:26,723 --> 00:23:29,203 Tracy? What's wrong with saying "disabled"? 431 00:23:29,203 --> 00:23:31,883 Remember this morning? We talked about inclusivity. 432 00:23:31,883 --> 00:23:34,163 This is what we call a... 433 00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:36,123 "Negative." "Negative," yeah. 434 00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:38,043 Thanks, Ian. And we shouldn't be using negatives. 435 00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:40,203 All that will happen is that the patients won't understand 436 00:23:40,203 --> 00:23:41,843 what we're talking to them about. Isn't it "clients"? 437 00:23:41,843 --> 00:23:43,843 Yeah, it is "clients", actually. 438 00:23:43,843 --> 00:23:45,843 Erm, next one. 439 00:23:47,123 --> 00:23:49,283 "Birth defect." 440 00:23:49,283 --> 00:23:51,443 We haven't got a working printer on our ward. 441 00:23:51,443 --> 00:23:54,603 We've had a leak in the ceiling for over four years, 442 00:23:54,603 --> 00:23:56,803 and this is what they're spending their money on? 443 00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:58,043 As your facilitator, 444 00:23:58,043 --> 00:24:01,363 it's my job to remind you of the four pillars of the trust. 445 00:24:01,363 --> 00:24:03,723 OK? PAGER BEEPS 446 00:24:03,723 --> 00:24:05,683 PAGER: ..crash call to Accident & Emergency. 447 00:24:05,683 --> 00:24:07,363 That's obstetric team... 448 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:08,923 HE SIGHS 449 00:24:09,963 --> 00:24:11,683 I should... I should probably... 450 00:24:18,283 --> 00:24:19,483 ALARM BLARES 451 00:24:21,803 --> 00:24:24,723 Adam Kay, obstetrics. Who's running the arrest? 452 00:24:24,723 --> 00:24:27,923 Kiran Chowdry, A&E. That was quick. Good man. 453 00:24:27,923 --> 00:24:29,803 Came in feeling short of breath. 37 weeks, 454 00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:31,443 first baby, collapsed on her way to the cubicle. 455 00:24:31,443 --> 00:24:34,043 No respiratory effort, no pulse for three minutes now. 456 00:24:34,043 --> 00:24:35,883 I want to stay with my wife! 457 00:24:36,883 --> 00:24:38,283 Get me a scalpel. 458 00:24:38,283 --> 00:24:40,283 Perimortem section. What, now? Here? 459 00:24:40,283 --> 00:24:42,203 You've had one cycle of CPR with no output. 460 00:24:42,203 --> 00:24:45,043 I'm delivering. You done this before? Yep. 461 00:24:45,043 --> 00:24:46,363 Well, I've delivered babies before. 462 00:24:46,363 --> 00:24:47,683 FATHER GASPS 463 00:24:47,683 --> 00:24:49,643 Scissors. Scissors. 464 00:24:49,643 --> 00:24:51,923 I'm delivering. Off the chest. 465 00:24:56,323 --> 00:24:57,803 Help me? Yep. 466 00:24:57,803 --> 00:24:59,963 This is a case of nothing to lose. 467 00:24:59,963 --> 00:25:02,203 The patient is basically already dead. 468 00:25:02,203 --> 00:25:05,283 The baby is pressing against her major blood vessels. 469 00:25:05,283 --> 00:25:07,563 This is our only chance of resuscitating her. 470 00:25:07,563 --> 00:25:09,043 OK, pull. 471 00:25:09,043 --> 00:25:11,403 You'll notice the slight lack of blood. 472 00:25:11,403 --> 00:25:13,963 Dead patients don't tend to pump any blood around. 473 00:25:18,843 --> 00:25:20,003 Push. 474 00:25:23,803 --> 00:25:25,243 OK. 475 00:25:35,523 --> 00:25:37,123 Adam? 476 00:25:46,803 --> 00:25:49,523 HE SOBS 477 00:25:51,843 --> 00:25:53,643 One... Keep pumping it. 478 00:25:53,643 --> 00:25:55,523 ..two, three... 479 00:25:57,363 --> 00:25:59,443 ..four, five... 480 00:26:03,683 --> 00:26:07,563 Heart rate is below 60. 481 00:26:07,563 --> 00:26:09,003 TRACY: OK. Ready? PAEDIATRICIAN: Yeah. 482 00:26:09,003 --> 00:26:11,203 One, two, three. One. One, two, three. 483 00:26:11,203 --> 00:26:13,643 Two. One, two, three. 484 00:26:13,643 --> 00:26:15,403 Three. One, two, three. 485 00:26:15,403 --> 00:26:19,083 Four. One, two, three. Five. 486 00:26:19,083 --> 00:26:21,363 BABY CRIES Yeah! Hello, darling! 487 00:26:21,363 --> 00:26:23,363 Hello, sweetheart! 488 00:26:24,443 --> 00:26:26,283 FATHER: You saved the wrong one! 489 00:26:27,723 --> 00:26:30,523 You saved... You saved the wrong one! 490 00:26:32,003 --> 00:26:33,483 Come on, love. 491 00:26:38,403 --> 00:26:40,443 DR CHOWDRY: OK, pull CPR. 492 00:26:40,443 --> 00:26:42,803 What about direct cardiac massage? 493 00:26:42,803 --> 00:26:44,363 What? You mean open the chest? 494 00:26:44,363 --> 00:26:46,603 Do it through the diaphragm. Come on! 495 00:26:46,603 --> 00:26:49,243 DR CHOWDRY: OK, pause compressions. 496 00:26:50,283 --> 00:26:53,163 What's... What's happening? 497 00:27:00,643 --> 00:27:03,643 There's cardiac output. Are you still massaging? 498 00:27:03,643 --> 00:27:05,923 No. She's doing that herself. 499 00:27:07,883 --> 00:27:10,523 Right. OK. 500 00:27:10,523 --> 00:27:12,243 Large swabs! 501 00:27:12,243 --> 00:27:15,243 Now, quickly! And we need to get her into theatre. 502 00:27:15,243 --> 00:27:17,923 Hold this tight until the second she's in theatre. 503 00:27:17,923 --> 00:27:19,923 Right, let's get her onto a trolley. Come on. 504 00:27:19,923 --> 00:27:22,923 Fucking hell, mate. Right, come on, let's get a wiggle on. 505 00:27:22,923 --> 00:27:25,763 NURSE: Ready? One, two, three. 506 00:27:25,763 --> 00:27:29,283 Lift! Do you want to close up or just have a massive brandy? 507 00:27:29,283 --> 00:27:31,483 Er, do you mind doing it? 508 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,043 That's proper obstetrics there. You did amazing. 509 00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:38,083 "Ly." 510 00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:39,403 "You did amazingly." 511 00:27:43,883 --> 00:27:46,403 FATHER: Thank you. Thank you! Thank you! 512 00:27:51,323 --> 00:27:54,163 Thank you, thank you! Thank you! 513 00:27:54,163 --> 00:27:55,443 Thank you! Thank you! 514 00:27:58,763 --> 00:28:00,363 Theatre 2 ready now. 515 00:28:06,603 --> 00:28:09,283 Er, Dr Kay? Can I have a word? 516 00:28:33,363 --> 00:28:35,523 HE SIGHS 517 00:28:37,163 --> 00:28:39,843 Some of us have been delivering triplets. 518 00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:41,923 How was it? 519 00:28:41,923 --> 00:28:46,003 Yeah, it was great. I can't believe I actually managed it. 520 00:28:46,003 --> 00:28:48,283 Mm. We were all quite shocked. 521 00:28:48,283 --> 00:28:50,203 How was A&E? 522 00:28:51,163 --> 00:28:53,083 Yeah, you know, the usual crap. 523 00:28:53,083 --> 00:28:55,043 Had a bit of good news, though. 524 00:28:55,043 --> 00:28:58,443 You're finally going on that communication skills course? 525 00:28:58,443 --> 00:29:00,883 Um, Erika dropped the complaint. 526 00:29:01,883 --> 00:29:03,803 Oh, my God! 527 00:29:03,803 --> 00:29:05,923 Are you serious? How the hell did you manage that? 528 00:29:05,923 --> 00:29:08,523 You don't want to know how the sausage gets made. 529 00:29:08,523 --> 00:29:10,763 But you can sleep easy tonight. 530 00:29:10,763 --> 00:29:13,643 Sleep? No, I'll revise easy. 531 00:29:13,643 --> 00:29:17,883 Oh, Adam, I'm really worried about the lady in Room Five. 532 00:29:17,883 --> 00:29:20,203 Would you mind taking a look? I'm leaving now. 533 00:29:21,763 --> 00:29:24,203 I don't think I've ever said those words before. 534 00:29:24,203 --> 00:29:27,163 Shruti's more than capable of looking after your patient. 535 00:29:28,363 --> 00:29:30,803 I've definitely never said those words before. 536 00:29:53,483 --> 00:29:56,283 Jesus! I was expecting to wait here two hours. 537 00:29:59,243 --> 00:30:03,363 Don't worry. This is just a hologram. Adam's still at work. 538 00:30:03,363 --> 00:30:05,123 Knew it. 539 00:30:06,083 --> 00:30:07,123 OK... 540 00:30:10,963 --> 00:30:12,203 Hm! 541 00:30:16,323 --> 00:30:17,443 Very good. 542 00:30:22,123 --> 00:30:24,163 How was work? It was fi... 543 00:30:27,363 --> 00:30:28,523 You know what? It was brilliant. 544 00:30:28,523 --> 00:30:31,683 This pregnant woman collapsed straight in front of me in A&E, 545 00:30:31,683 --> 00:30:34,003 so I took a scalpel and, erm... 546 00:30:34,003 --> 00:30:36,523 How much gory detail do you want? 547 00:30:36,523 --> 00:30:39,563 All of it. Unless it's going to put me off my dinner. 548 00:30:39,563 --> 00:30:42,203 You know, the weird thing about being a doctor 549 00:30:42,203 --> 00:30:45,683 is that everyone thinks you're always saving lives. 550 00:30:45,683 --> 00:30:49,923 But, actually, it's pretty rare to be able to say that today, 551 00:30:49,923 --> 00:30:51,923 I literally... PHONE CHIMES 552 00:30:51,923 --> 00:30:53,283 Oh! 553 00:30:56,003 --> 00:30:58,683 HE CHUCKLES PJ and Kenzie. 554 00:30:58,683 --> 00:31:01,043 They're going out later. PJ and Kenzie? 555 00:31:01,043 --> 00:31:03,083 Didn't they get knocked out at Judges' Houses? 556 00:31:03,083 --> 00:31:04,643 You've met them. 557 00:31:04,643 --> 00:31:07,363 PJ's 21st on the roof of... 558 00:31:07,363 --> 00:31:09,403 Oh, no, you were working, weren't you? 559 00:31:09,403 --> 00:31:10,683 You know Ian? Yes, I do. 560 00:31:10,683 --> 00:31:12,203 He looks a bit like Ian. 561 00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:14,323 Can I get you an aperitif to kick things off? 562 00:31:14,323 --> 00:31:17,243 Mm, I'll have a champagne, please. Non-vintage. 563 00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,403 And I'll have a Foster's. Vintage. 564 00:31:25,763 --> 00:31:27,163 Oh! 565 00:31:29,683 --> 00:31:31,683 Guess, er, guess what's in here. 566 00:31:31,683 --> 00:31:33,123 Oh, I love this game. 567 00:31:33,123 --> 00:31:35,723 Is it the bullet that killed Tupac Shakur? 568 00:31:35,723 --> 00:31:38,163 No, no, the complete works of Shakespeare 569 00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:41,123 written on a grain of rice. A butt plug for a cat? 570 00:31:52,283 --> 00:31:54,283 HE EXHALES 571 00:31:57,243 --> 00:31:58,483 It's beautiful. 572 00:32:06,443 --> 00:32:07,803 The cat's going to love it. 573 00:32:22,043 --> 00:32:23,683 You know what it is? 574 00:32:27,403 --> 00:32:28,803 It's, erm... 575 00:32:30,043 --> 00:32:31,323 An engagement ring? 576 00:32:31,323 --> 00:32:33,123 So, you remember our first weekend away? 577 00:32:33,123 --> 00:32:34,403 At the Giant's Causeway? 578 00:32:34,403 --> 00:32:38,203 This was the penny you put in the machine that squidged it down. 579 00:32:38,203 --> 00:32:41,163 And I, erm...I made it into a ring. 580 00:32:45,323 --> 00:32:47,283 Well, don't just stare at it. Put it on. 581 00:32:52,323 --> 00:32:53,443 I hope you like it. 582 00:32:53,443 --> 00:32:55,683 You're kind of wearing it for ever now, so... 583 00:32:59,723 --> 00:33:01,123 I love it. 584 00:33:01,123 --> 00:33:03,923 Good, cos God knows how I turn it back into a penny. 585 00:33:07,603 --> 00:33:09,003 HE EXHALES 586 00:33:11,363 --> 00:33:13,283 Right, so, where are we going to 587 00:33:13,283 --> 00:33:15,003 have the engagement party, then? 588 00:33:16,403 --> 00:33:18,123 Er, we could have a little, erm... 589 00:33:19,803 --> 00:33:22,243 ..dinner party at our, er, our flat. 590 00:33:23,243 --> 00:33:25,203 Yeah, we could totally do that. 591 00:33:25,203 --> 00:33:27,323 Or we could do something fun. 592 00:33:27,323 --> 00:33:29,563 PHONE CHIMES Sure. 593 00:33:29,563 --> 00:33:32,323 Oh, PJ and Kenzie are asking if we want to go to Squirt. 594 00:33:32,323 --> 00:33:35,203 Not for the engagement party? After dinner. 595 00:33:35,203 --> 00:33:37,323 Oh! What do you reckon? 596 00:33:38,603 --> 00:33:40,963 Sure. Although we should ask if they do functions. 597 00:33:40,963 --> 00:33:43,043 How does your mum feel about harnesses? 598 00:33:47,563 --> 00:33:49,763 MS HOUGHTON: So, we're all standing there, 599 00:33:49,763 --> 00:33:52,523 staring at this X-ray of an 80-year-old woman, 600 00:33:52,523 --> 00:33:55,203 wondering why she's got a load of tiny little bones inside her. 601 00:33:55,203 --> 00:33:57,123 I said, "All right, 602 00:33:57,123 --> 00:33:59,003 "get her in the stirrups," 603 00:33:59,003 --> 00:34:00,643 had a rummage around. 604 00:34:00,643 --> 00:34:04,123 Turns out she's got half a box of KFC shoved up there. 605 00:34:05,243 --> 00:34:06,683 Oh, my God! 606 00:34:08,523 --> 00:34:10,723 Wow! Do you want some more wine? 607 00:34:10,723 --> 00:34:13,123 Oh, just a little bit. Thank you. 608 00:34:13,123 --> 00:34:15,443 That's... That's fine, thank you. 609 00:34:16,683 --> 00:34:17,763 Top-up. 610 00:34:21,683 --> 00:34:24,963 Erm, this is so kind of you, seriously. 611 00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:26,843 Honestly, it means so much to have a consultant 612 00:34:26,843 --> 00:34:28,483 just, like, give me some time. 613 00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:31,163 Ah, we've got to stick together, don't we, mate? 614 00:34:31,163 --> 00:34:33,683 I mean, yeah, I mean, I honestly thought 615 00:34:33,683 --> 00:34:36,163 I was, like, the only doctor in the country who wasn't 616 00:34:36,163 --> 00:34:39,003 the captain of a quidditch team at some poncey private school. 617 00:34:39,003 --> 00:34:40,723 Full disclosure, mate. 618 00:34:40,723 --> 00:34:42,963 My dad's the Duke of Bedford. 619 00:34:43,963 --> 00:34:45,363 Oh, my God. 620 00:34:45,363 --> 00:34:47,203 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 621 00:34:47,203 --> 00:34:49,163 I-I didn't mean to offend you. I was just... 622 00:34:50,163 --> 00:34:52,123 He played darts in the Duke of Bedford. 623 00:34:52,123 --> 00:34:53,643 Oh! 624 00:34:54,643 --> 00:34:56,603 So, what did you want to talk to me about? 625 00:34:57,843 --> 00:35:01,003 Erm, oh, OK. Erm... 626 00:35:01,003 --> 00:35:02,603 Well, er... 627 00:35:03,563 --> 00:35:06,803 Er, well, you know that Caesarean today? Yeah. 628 00:35:06,803 --> 00:35:09,163 It felt like the first time I'd actually done something right 629 00:35:09,163 --> 00:35:10,563 at work. Huh! 630 00:35:10,563 --> 00:35:12,803 I just feel so incompetent there. 631 00:35:12,803 --> 00:35:14,083 The whole time, you know? 632 00:35:14,083 --> 00:35:16,283 Like a total fraud. 633 00:35:16,283 --> 00:35:17,963 And I'm lying to my parents, 634 00:35:17,963 --> 00:35:21,963 because they are so proud of what they think I've achieved. 635 00:35:21,963 --> 00:35:24,203 So much of the job is just so... 636 00:35:25,563 --> 00:35:27,523 Oh, it's just no-one tells you how upsetting it is. 637 00:35:27,523 --> 00:35:28,843 Do you know what I mean? 638 00:35:28,843 --> 00:35:31,643 I feel like I'm the first doctor to have cried in the toilet. 639 00:35:31,643 --> 00:35:34,763 And, you know, like, patients almost bleed to death, 640 00:35:34,763 --> 00:35:36,723 and babies get sick, and... 641 00:35:36,723 --> 00:35:38,963 ..a husband basically assaulted me. 642 00:35:38,963 --> 00:35:41,683 And everyone else is, like, "Fine, yeah, 643 00:35:41,683 --> 00:35:43,563 "this is just the job." 644 00:35:43,563 --> 00:35:44,803 It's not fine! 645 00:35:46,163 --> 00:35:47,203 Is it? 646 00:35:48,803 --> 00:35:50,283 And where's the support? 647 00:35:52,163 --> 00:35:54,123 And even if there was any, I wouldn't have time, 648 00:35:54,123 --> 00:35:56,723 because I'm working 14 hours a day and then revising 649 00:35:56,723 --> 00:36:01,243 in between for God knows how many more. I just feel so... 650 00:36:03,123 --> 00:36:04,923 ..so constantly overwhelmed. 651 00:36:04,923 --> 00:36:06,403 Like you're permanently fighting fires 652 00:36:06,403 --> 00:36:07,643 and you haven't got the right kit. 653 00:36:09,403 --> 00:36:10,603 Yeah! 654 00:36:10,603 --> 00:36:12,203 Yeah, that is exactly it. 655 00:36:13,803 --> 00:36:16,043 Are you sure you're in the right job? 656 00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:18,083 What do you mean? 657 00:36:18,083 --> 00:36:19,643 Well, it's a difficult job. 658 00:36:19,643 --> 00:36:22,003 What do you want me to say? "It gets easier"? It doesn't. 659 00:36:22,963 --> 00:36:24,963 By the time you retire, there's going to be a bus load 660 00:36:24,963 --> 00:36:26,843 of dead babies with your name on it. 661 00:36:26,843 --> 00:36:31,363 If you can't handle that fact, maybe you should get out now. 662 00:36:31,363 --> 00:36:33,403 Well, no-one's making you be here, are they? 663 00:36:33,403 --> 00:36:35,923 That's just you and some fucked-up fantasy 664 00:36:35,923 --> 00:36:38,523 you've got about what your parents will think. 665 00:36:38,523 --> 00:36:41,403 You need to decide, number one, 666 00:36:41,403 --> 00:36:44,403 do you really want to be doing this, 667 00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:47,043 and, more importantly, number two, 668 00:36:47,043 --> 00:36:50,043 are we going to get another glass of limoncello in, or what? 669 00:36:54,803 --> 00:36:55,963 Yeah, sure. 670 00:37:00,083 --> 00:37:02,083 MUSIC POUNDS 671 00:37:04,283 --> 00:37:05,603 LAUGHTER 672 00:37:09,243 --> 00:37:11,203 Hey, there's a queue here, ladies. 673 00:37:11,203 --> 00:37:12,803 Harry Muir plus one. 674 00:37:13,843 --> 00:37:15,203 I can't see it here, love. 675 00:37:15,203 --> 00:37:18,643 Oh, well, we tried. Have a...lovely evening. 676 00:37:18,643 --> 00:37:20,363 All right, Grandad. 677 00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:21,803 Erm, it could be under Kenzie. 678 00:37:21,803 --> 00:37:24,083 THEY SIGH Hang on, let me look. 679 00:37:24,083 --> 00:37:26,003 We don't want to put you out. It doesn't matter. 680 00:37:26,003 --> 00:37:27,323 Come on! 681 00:37:27,323 --> 00:37:29,403 What the point of being engaged if we can't brag about it? 682 00:37:29,403 --> 00:37:30,523 Er, or PJ, maybe. 683 00:37:31,803 --> 00:37:33,563 Oh, here y'are. Go on, get in. 684 00:37:38,003 --> 00:37:39,963 Thanks a bunch. Now I have to go in here. 685 00:37:39,963 --> 00:37:42,003 Well, he seems fun, love. 686 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:01,683 Hey, cut it out. 687 00:38:05,443 --> 00:38:07,203 Erm, excuse me? 688 00:38:07,203 --> 00:38:08,723 Hey! 689 00:38:08,723 --> 00:38:10,243 Hello? 690 00:38:11,323 --> 00:38:14,003 Honey? Two, please. 691 00:38:14,003 --> 00:38:15,363 Thanks. 692 00:38:16,723 --> 00:38:19,403 Oh, my God, you must be the famous Adam. 693 00:38:19,403 --> 00:38:21,163 I've heard so much about you. 694 00:38:21,163 --> 00:38:22,683 I'm PJ. 695 00:38:22,683 --> 00:38:24,763 It doesn't ring a bell. 696 00:38:29,123 --> 00:38:32,203 No. Goodness, no. I thought it was a mint. 697 00:38:32,203 --> 00:38:35,643 I can't. I'd get struck off. I'm a doctor. 698 00:38:35,643 --> 00:38:37,683 Yeah. I heard. 699 00:38:37,683 --> 00:38:41,603 Shot? I don't do those either, I'm... Oh, my God, come on. 700 00:38:41,603 --> 00:38:44,683 Everyone's doing them. Yeah, I don't generally do things 701 00:38:44,683 --> 00:38:46,803 just because everyone does them. 702 00:38:46,803 --> 00:38:49,203 I only asked if you wanted to do a shot, 703 00:38:49,203 --> 00:38:50,803 not commit mass murder. 704 00:38:50,803 --> 00:38:52,283 Oh, I'd do that. 705 00:38:56,883 --> 00:38:58,763 Who's that over there? 706 00:38:58,763 --> 00:39:00,443 That one there. 707 00:39:00,443 --> 00:39:03,603 The really hot one dancing with Harry? 708 00:39:06,123 --> 00:39:07,443 That's Kenzie. 709 00:39:11,203 --> 00:39:14,243 That's Kenzie. Erm, you know what? 710 00:39:14,243 --> 00:39:15,963 I will have a couple of shots. 711 00:39:15,963 --> 00:39:17,563 I only offered you one. 712 00:39:17,563 --> 00:39:18,803 Cheers. Cheers. 713 00:39:20,563 --> 00:39:23,083 OK, come on, let's go join them. 714 00:39:23,083 --> 00:39:25,323 I don't.... I'm fine. What's it going to take?! 715 00:39:25,323 --> 00:39:26,923 Some kind of major cerebral event. 716 00:39:26,923 --> 00:39:28,563 Jesus, come on! 717 00:39:28,563 --> 00:39:31,083 Please... Come on! 718 00:39:32,123 --> 00:39:34,163 Guys? This is Adam. 719 00:39:39,083 --> 00:39:41,763 I can see why you've kept him hidden away. 720 00:39:51,603 --> 00:39:54,843 # House of jealous lovers 721 00:39:54,843 --> 00:39:58,803 # One hand ties the other 722 00:39:58,803 --> 00:40:02,483 # House of jealous lovers... # 723 00:40:04,443 --> 00:40:05,963 MUSIC CONTINUES 724 00:40:15,923 --> 00:40:18,643 Breath of fresh air, love? Yeah. 725 00:40:18,643 --> 00:40:22,563 I wasn't really into the cheap cologne and aerosolised semen. 726 00:40:22,563 --> 00:40:25,643 I know what'll cheer you up. Why don't you buy me a drink? 727 00:40:26,723 --> 00:40:28,003 I'm with someone. 728 00:40:28,003 --> 00:40:30,003 Well, that's nice. Has he got your wallet? 729 00:40:30,003 --> 00:40:32,803 Can you just leave me alone? Gladly. 730 00:40:34,403 --> 00:40:35,603 You know what, love? 731 00:40:35,603 --> 00:40:37,883 If you go round life hating everyone you meet, 732 00:40:37,883 --> 00:40:39,163 maybe you hate yourself. 733 00:40:45,483 --> 00:40:48,003 You not coming back in for another dance? 734 00:40:48,003 --> 00:40:51,643 Well, honestly, I would if the music was less shit and I was less boring. 735 00:40:51,643 --> 00:40:53,163 Boring? You're not boring. 736 00:40:53,163 --> 00:40:55,243 Everyone's been raving about you. 737 00:40:55,243 --> 00:40:56,723 Well... 738 00:40:56,723 --> 00:40:59,323 ..not raving, but PJ was... 739 00:40:59,323 --> 00:41:00,923 ..definitely positive. 740 00:41:00,923 --> 00:41:02,203 Overall. 741 00:41:05,403 --> 00:41:07,563 You're all I talk about to them, you know? 742 00:41:11,443 --> 00:41:14,203 Shall we escape? We can have a... 743 00:41:14,203 --> 00:41:16,403 ..little dance. 744 00:41:16,403 --> 00:41:18,603 I thought you said you didn't like the music. 745 00:41:18,603 --> 00:41:20,163 Not in there. 746 00:41:22,083 --> 00:41:24,123 What? I've got some moves. 747 00:41:29,523 --> 00:41:32,323 No, no, don't worry, we'll fix that before the wedding. 748 00:41:35,483 --> 00:41:40,643 # Should I try to hide the way 749 00:41:40,643 --> 00:41:42,843 # I feel inside 750 00:41:42,843 --> 00:41:47,163 # My heart for you? 751 00:41:47,163 --> 00:41:50,963 # Would you say that you 752 00:41:50,963 --> 00:41:54,483 # Would try to love me too? 753 00:41:54,483 --> 00:41:57,043 # In your mind 754 00:41:57,043 --> 00:41:58,563 # Could you ever be 755 00:41:58,563 --> 00:42:00,923 # Really close to me? 756 00:42:00,923 --> 00:42:04,443 # I can tell the way you smile 757 00:42:04,443 --> 00:42:06,323 # If I feel that I 758 00:42:06,323 --> 00:42:08,203 # Could be certain then 759 00:42:08,203 --> 00:42:12,923 # I would say the things I want to say tonight 760 00:42:14,203 --> 00:42:17,203 # But till I can see 761 00:42:17,203 --> 00:42:20,843 # That you'd really care for me 762 00:42:21,843 --> 00:42:23,563 # I will dream 763 00:42:23,563 --> 00:42:25,523 # That some day you'll be 764 00:42:25,523 --> 00:42:27,443 # Really close to me 765 00:42:27,443 --> 00:42:30,763 # I can tell the way you smile 766 00:42:30,763 --> 00:42:34,083 # If I feel that I 767 00:42:34,083 --> 00:42:36,083 # Could be certain then 768 00:42:36,083 --> 00:42:40,403 # I would say the things I want to say tonight 769 00:42:41,723 --> 00:42:44,643 # But till I can see 770 00:42:44,643 --> 00:42:48,403 # That you'd really care for me 771 00:42:48,403 --> 00:42:51,243 # I'll keep trying to hide 772 00:42:51,243 --> 00:42:54,163 # The way I feel inside. # 773 00:43:08,843 --> 00:43:12,203 # Just another one of those days 774 00:43:17,683 --> 00:43:21,363 # Days you're hanging on by a thread... #