1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:05,443 This programme contains some strong language from the start, 2 00:00:05,443 --> 00:00:08,363 scenes which some viewers may find upsetting 3 00:00:08,363 --> 00:00:10,723 and discriminatory language. 4 00:00:10,723 --> 00:00:12,523 HE SNORES 5 00:00:23,443 --> 00:00:27,563 PHONE BUZZES 6 00:00:31,523 --> 00:00:32,883 Fuck. 7 00:00:34,883 --> 00:00:36,003 Shit! 8 00:00:39,163 --> 00:00:41,963 Hello? Hi, Adam. 9 00:00:41,963 --> 00:00:44,723 It's Shruti, one of the SHOs. Sorry to disturb you. 10 00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:47,523 Erm, you're on the rota for labour ward today, 11 00:00:47,523 --> 00:00:50,123 and Mr Lockhart... Er, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 12 00:00:50,123 --> 00:00:52,843 Erm, tell him I'm really sorry. 13 00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,563 I think there's been an accident. I've been sat here for an hour... 14 00:00:56,603 --> 00:00:57,843 HE GROANS 15 00:00:59,403 --> 00:01:00,963 And I'll be there in a minute. 16 00:01:02,683 --> 00:01:04,643 Well, I'm not dead, am I? 17 00:01:04,643 --> 00:01:07,163 Please tell me you haven't ordered a coffin. 18 00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:10,323 Of course I'm not having an affair. I wouldn't have the time. 19 00:01:10,323 --> 00:01:13,843 I just fell asleep last night when I went to the car. 20 00:01:13,843 --> 00:01:16,683 Who did you phone? Please tell me you haven't phoned the police. 21 00:01:16,683 --> 00:01:18,483 Well, who did you phone, then? 22 00:01:18,483 --> 00:01:20,043 Oh, sorry. 23 00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:21,283 Who did you phone, then? 24 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,123 My mum?! 25 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,003 Shit. Are you deranged? 26 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,003 And what did she...? 27 00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:32,203 SHE CRIES OUT 28 00:01:32,203 --> 00:01:34,883 Don't go anywhere. I'm going to call you right back. 29 00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:37,043 Is coming out! 30 00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:38,563 Is coming out! 31 00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:41,003 Well, a stroke of luck, you've come to the right place. 32 00:01:41,003 --> 00:01:42,683 Let's get you up to labour ward, shall we? 33 00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:44,483 It's, erm, a bit of a walk, I'm afraid. 34 00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:45,883 SHE CRIES OUT 35 00:01:45,883 --> 00:01:48,163 Do you mind if I have a quick check? 36 00:01:48,163 --> 00:01:49,963 I'm a doctor. Probably should have said. 37 00:01:49,963 --> 00:01:51,403 I'm Adam. And you are...? 38 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,243 Andrea. Andrea. 39 00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,883 SHE GASPS 40 00:01:56,283 --> 00:02:01,843 OK. OK, Andrea, so, erm, baby's arm 41 00:02:01,843 --> 00:02:04,363 has come out. That is normal? 42 00:02:05,483 --> 00:02:08,323 Take a wild guess. Baby is lying sideways. 43 00:02:08,323 --> 00:02:10,923 Do you understand that? Sideways? 44 00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:13,603 So you need a Caesarean section. Oh, Caesarean. 45 00:02:13,603 --> 00:02:16,203 I've got a scalpel in my back pocket. You'll be fine. 46 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,563 Shall we go? 47 00:02:17,563 --> 00:02:19,803 Yeah. Yeah? That's it. 48 00:02:21,483 --> 00:02:23,563 That's it. You OK? 49 00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:27,003 Erm, Andrea, I know a short cut. Let's go this way. 50 00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:28,723 I don't want to hurry you, Andrea, 51 00:02:28,723 --> 00:02:31,203 but we've got to get going. You're doing brilliantly. 52 00:02:31,203 --> 00:02:33,443 It's OK. Deep breaths. PORTER: Mind yourselves! 53 00:02:33,443 --> 00:02:35,523 Come on, then, quickly. Hurry up. 54 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,203 SHE CRIES OUT That's it, we're nearly there. 55 00:02:38,203 --> 00:02:40,163 We're going to go up in the staff lift. 56 00:02:40,163 --> 00:02:41,403 Nearly there, nearly there. 57 00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:46,243 Come on. This is lift? It's safe. Come on. 58 00:02:46,243 --> 00:02:49,123 Really? Yeah. You can do it. I can't! 59 00:02:49,123 --> 00:02:50,723 No, wait. Wait, wait. 60 00:02:50,723 --> 00:02:53,243 Wait for it. No, no, no. OK, are you ready? 61 00:02:53,243 --> 00:02:56,043 Three, two, one. SHE CRIES OUT 62 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,563 Keep breathing. Nice deep breaths. 63 00:02:58,563 --> 00:03:00,803 When I say so, we're going to jump out of the lift. 64 00:03:00,803 --> 00:03:02,203 Are you a real doctor? 65 00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:03,843 Fair question... 66 00:03:03,843 --> 00:03:06,003 ..though, strangely, one you've asked me 67 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:07,723 after you showed me your vagina. 68 00:03:07,723 --> 00:03:10,563 Right, there you go. Yes? 69 00:03:10,563 --> 00:03:12,723 OK, so, let's get ready. 70 00:03:12,723 --> 00:03:14,763 Get ready. 71 00:03:14,763 --> 00:03:17,443 And jump! Don't worry, don't worry. 72 00:03:17,443 --> 00:03:20,163 The lift will go round and we'll have another go. 73 00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:24,003 You're doing really well. What's happening? 74 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,643 It's just going through the... 75 00:03:25,643 --> 00:03:27,443 ..through the roof bit before it goes down. 76 00:03:27,443 --> 00:03:28,483 CLANGING 77 00:03:28,483 --> 00:03:30,403 All right? It'll be light again soon. 78 00:03:30,403 --> 00:03:32,563 Something's wrong! Look! OK. 79 00:03:34,003 --> 00:03:36,243 Jesus Christ. We call this a cord prolapse. 80 00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:38,923 Ideally, it would happen on labour ward, not in a mad lift. 81 00:03:38,923 --> 00:03:41,523 OK, Andrea, everything's going to be fine. 82 00:03:41,523 --> 00:03:43,043 I mean, it might be fine. 83 00:03:43,043 --> 00:03:45,563 If the cord gets cold, then baby stops getting blood. 84 00:03:45,563 --> 00:03:47,523 No more blood, no more baby. 85 00:03:47,523 --> 00:03:50,403 Right, hold it inside. You understand? Inside. 86 00:03:50,403 --> 00:03:52,083 Yeah. Come on, come on, come on. 87 00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:54,443 Are you the SHO? Staff lifts now. 88 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,323 Bring a hospital bed and a box of gloves. 89 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,563 Literally now. Cord prolapse. 90 00:03:58,563 --> 00:04:00,883 SHE CRIES OUT Right, come on, Andrea, 91 00:04:00,883 --> 00:04:02,363 we need to get off. Get ready. 92 00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:05,083 And jump! Jump! Jump! Can't! Fuck it. 93 00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,603 Come on. OK? 94 00:04:06,603 --> 00:04:08,523 ANDREA SCREAMS 95 00:04:09,603 --> 00:04:11,163 Andrea, stay there. 96 00:04:12,403 --> 00:04:14,803 Get her up on the bed. Knee-elbow position, 97 00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:16,603 replace the cord, get her round to theatre. 98 00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,803 I'm going to change into some scrubs. You consent her. 99 00:04:18,803 --> 00:04:21,443 Consent her for...? A deep-tissue massage. 100 00:04:21,443 --> 00:04:23,283 It's a cord prolapse! 101 00:04:23,283 --> 00:04:25,523 Caesarean! Oh, well, when you say, 102 00:04:25,523 --> 00:04:28,083 "knee-elbow position"... 103 00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,443 My mistake, sorry. 104 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,523 Your outfit looks a lot like what the doctors wear. 105 00:04:31,523 --> 00:04:32,883 ANDREA SCREAMS 106 00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:34,163 I'll do this. You push the bed. 107 00:04:34,163 --> 00:04:35,523 Get up on here. That's it. 108 00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,323 A bit less Alton Towers. 109 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:41,963 I'm so sorry. 110 00:04:41,963 --> 00:04:43,563 Why don't I drive? 111 00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:45,043 You go and find the anaesthetist. 112 00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:47,083 That's the doctor that makes you go sleep-sleep. 113 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,763 SHE GROANS 114 00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:50,083 I've found the husband. 115 00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:51,603 He's just coming up from reception. 116 00:04:51,603 --> 00:04:54,443 OK, Andrea, this is going to be fine. You'll have a baby 117 00:04:54,443 --> 00:04:57,443 in five minutes. And is free? Yep, free. Completely free. 118 00:04:57,443 --> 00:04:59,123 We're not even allowed to accept tips. 119 00:04:59,123 --> 00:05:00,643 SHE GASPS 120 00:05:00,643 --> 00:05:02,843 Dr Adam, you should see me next. It's really urgent. 121 00:05:02,843 --> 00:05:05,283 Really? Erika, darling, can you just take a seat for me, please? 122 00:05:05,283 --> 00:05:08,843 Tracy! How was Majorca? Did Mick like the hotel? 123 00:05:08,843 --> 00:05:10,523 Erika, just go back to triage. 124 00:05:10,523 --> 00:05:12,043 HE SPEAKS ROMANIAN 125 00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:13,763 I did explain that the doctor would be 126 00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:15,923 holding the cord inside. HE SPEAKS ROMANIAN 127 00:05:15,923 --> 00:05:18,403 Probably didn't tell him I'd be wearing her like Kermit the Frog. 128 00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:19,803 I don't understand. 129 00:05:19,803 --> 00:05:24,123 That's baby's heartbeat. Welcome to the NHS. 130 00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:26,523 ANDREA CRIES OUT 131 00:05:26,523 --> 00:05:28,523 BABY CRIES 132 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:34,963 This is obs and gynae. 133 00:05:35,963 --> 00:05:37,483 Also known as brats and twats. 134 00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:41,643 You're generally sailing the ship alone... 135 00:05:42,683 --> 00:05:45,363 ..a ship that's massive and on fire and no-one's had 136 00:05:45,363 --> 00:05:47,003 the time to teach you how to sail. 137 00:05:48,363 --> 00:05:50,683 It's literally life or death here. 138 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,883 And you're constantly being splashed by bodily fluids. 139 00:05:53,883 --> 00:05:55,723 Not even the fun kind. 140 00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:02,243 But what other doctors can say they end up with twice the number of 141 00:06:02,243 --> 00:06:04,363 patients they started with? 142 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:06,323 Beat that, geriatrics. 143 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,683 Clothes bill means I'm... 144 00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:12,923 ..probably running my job at a loss, though. 145 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,803 Ah, Mr Lockhart. Having fun there? 146 00:06:28,803 --> 00:06:32,203 I was just... Yeah, I'm not entirely convinced I want to know. 147 00:06:32,203 --> 00:06:34,283 I don't know if you heard, there was a massive 148 00:06:34,283 --> 00:06:35,883 cord prolapse before. 149 00:06:35,883 --> 00:06:38,643 Erm, crash section. Got the baby out in 90 seconds. 150 00:06:38,643 --> 00:06:41,243 I heard that you rocked up ten minutes late, 151 00:06:41,243 --> 00:06:43,803 nearly killed a patient in the maintenance lift, 152 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:46,923 then did a Caesarean section in casualwear. 153 00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:48,803 It was more that I took a short cut. 154 00:06:48,803 --> 00:06:51,283 Doctors aren't meant to take short cuts, Adam. 155 00:06:51,283 --> 00:06:53,403 Remember when I asked you to be an acting registrar? 156 00:06:53,403 --> 00:06:56,643 Can you try acting like a bloody registrar? 157 00:06:56,643 --> 00:06:59,203 I'll be in my office if you need me, 158 00:06:59,203 --> 00:07:01,283 which I strongly suggest you won't. 159 00:07:03,643 --> 00:07:04,843 You've missed a bit. 160 00:07:09,203 --> 00:07:12,163 SCREAMING 161 00:07:14,923 --> 00:07:16,923 PORTER: Mind out, please, mind out. 162 00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:30,243 WOMAN: It's really urgent! I know, petal, but I promise you 163 00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:31,963 the doctor won't be long. Pinkie promise? 164 00:07:31,963 --> 00:07:34,163 Pinkie promise with a little cherry on top. 165 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:35,963 Oh! 166 00:07:35,963 --> 00:07:38,523 Why don't you head back to where you were sitting? 167 00:07:41,323 --> 00:07:44,123 Moany old trout. Morning, Ria. Morning, Dr Kay. 168 00:07:44,123 --> 00:07:46,243 Oh, there he is! Ward round, Trace? 169 00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:48,203 Can I ask you something personal, darling? 170 00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:50,043 Is it, "Why do you look like shit this morning?" 171 00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:51,403 I wasn't going to ask it like that. 172 00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:52,803 I slept in my car last night. 173 00:07:52,803 --> 00:07:56,563 Well, it must be hard maintaining a relationship, 174 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,363 what, with your job... 175 00:07:58,363 --> 00:08:00,883 ..and your personality. 176 00:08:00,883 --> 00:08:03,443 Tracy's the head midwife on today. 177 00:08:03,443 --> 00:08:05,603 I'd let her sew up my sister's perineum... 178 00:08:06,723 --> 00:08:08,483 ..which sounds weird, now that I've said it, 179 00:08:08,483 --> 00:08:10,283 but it's actually the highest compliment I can give. 180 00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:12,763 Oh, remember to remove the thick, shiny layer on the outside. 181 00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:16,003 Ignore him. His girlfriend's come to her senses and dumped him. 182 00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:18,803 No-one's dumped anyone. But if you do want to smack him, 183 00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,603 I will turn a blind eye. 184 00:08:20,603 --> 00:08:22,763 Do you mind if we nip to Room 8 first? 185 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,243 She's making pretty slow progress. 186 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,283 Pop downstairs and review Mrs Buckstar quickly. 187 00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,723 Doctors speak a lot of code, so it's "epididymo-orchitis" 188 00:08:30,723 --> 00:08:32,923 rather than "gammy cock and balls". 189 00:08:32,923 --> 00:08:34,803 "Review Mrs Buckstar," "Go to Starbucks." 190 00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:36,243 Which ward is Mrs Buckstar in? 191 00:08:36,243 --> 00:08:38,723 He wants you to get him a fancy coffee without me knowing. 192 00:08:38,723 --> 00:08:41,283 PHONE VIBRATING Milk and one sugar for me, please. 193 00:08:48,643 --> 00:08:51,643 I'm in labour, Mother, not quadriplegic. 194 00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:54,483 Hi. I'm Adam, one of the doctors. 195 00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:57,043 I'm afraid I've got some bad news. 196 00:08:57,043 --> 00:08:58,683 You've spelt 'pavilion' wrong. 197 00:09:02,323 --> 00:09:03,883 Would you like a sweetie, dear? 198 00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:06,083 The doctor's not going to give me better care 199 00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:09,523 because you offer him a Murray Mint. In fairness, I might, actually. 200 00:09:13,283 --> 00:09:14,963 All right? 201 00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:20,283 You've got a little bit stuck at six centimetres, 202 00:09:20,283 --> 00:09:21,883 so I suggest we wang the dose up 203 00:09:21,883 --> 00:09:24,003 on the drip that's helping your contractions... 204 00:09:24,003 --> 00:09:25,763 Is "wang" a medical term? Sure is. 205 00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:27,923 And if that doesn't work, we'll, erm... 206 00:09:29,123 --> 00:09:33,803 Anna, let's put the Synto onto 84 and re-examine in four hours. 207 00:09:33,803 --> 00:09:35,723 It won't be me, actually. I'll be home by then. 208 00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:37,683 Really? Well, I've been here 15 hours. 209 00:09:37,683 --> 00:09:40,803 If I stay any longer, they'll start charging me council tax. 210 00:09:40,803 --> 00:09:42,963 Right. Don't worry, darling, 211 00:09:42,963 --> 00:09:45,963 I'll do it, so at least it'll be a familiar face. 212 00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:47,963 Could you do the examination instead, Doctor? 213 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:51,203 It does make more sense for Tracy to do it. 214 00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,723 Where did you train? TRACY: Would you like me to pop home 215 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,243 and get my degree certificates? 216 00:09:55,243 --> 00:09:57,563 There's no way you could stay, is there? 217 00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:00,563 Erm, I'm not sure I like where this is going. 218 00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:02,163 You're not saying I can't choose who 219 00:10:02,163 --> 00:10:04,123 does intimate examinations on me, are you? 220 00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:06,683 I'm saying you won't be choosing based on the colour of their skin. 221 00:10:06,683 --> 00:10:10,883 Adam! What? When did anyone say anything about skin colour? 222 00:10:10,883 --> 00:10:12,403 It's called patient choice. 223 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,843 It's important to have choice, like tonight I might... 224 00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:18,123 ..choose to order a pizza rather than firebomb a mosque. 225 00:10:18,123 --> 00:10:19,803 I think what Dr Kay meant to say... 226 00:10:19,803 --> 00:10:22,563 What I'm saying is, I know it's stressful being on labour ward, 227 00:10:22,563 --> 00:10:24,843 but anything more like this, and I will have to have you 228 00:10:24,843 --> 00:10:26,683 removed from the building. Is that understood? 229 00:10:26,683 --> 00:10:30,403 OK. OK, let's crack on, shall we? 230 00:10:30,403 --> 00:10:32,483 PATIENT: Wanker. 231 00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:34,243 That had better be a crossword answer. 232 00:10:34,243 --> 00:10:36,603 No, dear, she called you a wanker. 233 00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:43,763 What the hell was all that about? 234 00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,443 I guess white supremacists have babies, too. 235 00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:48,203 Not her. You. 236 00:10:48,203 --> 00:10:51,683 Me? I don't need a white knight to defend my honour. 237 00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,203 Hang on. I'm the registrar. 238 00:10:53,203 --> 00:10:54,803 Acting registrar. 239 00:10:54,803 --> 00:10:57,683 I'm the most senior doctor here. Until somebody more senior turns up. 240 00:10:57,683 --> 00:11:01,963 Well, I'm running this ward now, and it's up to me... No, I'm running 241 00:11:01,963 --> 00:11:04,123 this ward, young man, and I'm more than capable 242 00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:06,243 of handling myself, and the moment that I can't, 243 00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:07,883 I'll let somebody know, 244 00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:11,403 and I don't want to spoil the surprise - it won't be you. 245 00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:14,043 And don't tell the patients that you're kicking them out. 246 00:11:14,043 --> 00:11:16,323 This is the NHS, not your golf club. 247 00:11:16,323 --> 00:11:17,963 Which room are we kicking out? 248 00:11:17,963 --> 00:11:19,363 PHONE BUZZES No, we're not kicking 249 00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:21,323 anybody out, Benilda. They're all in labour, 250 00:11:21,323 --> 00:11:23,723 so we thought we might wait until they had their babies. 251 00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:25,323 Well, get a move on. 252 00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:27,283 The hospital's on red alert for beds. 253 00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:29,443 We're actually more than halfway to black alert. 254 00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:32,003 So, like, dusky-merlot alert. 255 00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,283 Can you, er, go to gynae? 256 00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:38,003 The lady in bed 17's fit for home. 257 00:11:38,003 --> 00:11:40,603 I'm actually in the middle of a ward round. 258 00:11:40,603 --> 00:11:43,003 But, yeah, I mean, I'll find a moment. 259 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,643 Before you do that, you'll need to 260 00:11:44,643 --> 00:11:46,643 fill out an incident form for Room 8. Hang on, 261 00:11:46,643 --> 00:11:49,083 I didn't have to do one for the cord prolapse. 262 00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:53,523 ALARM BLARES 263 00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:01,923 Erika? NURSE: Third attendance this week 264 00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:04,443 with non-specific symptoms. ALARM STOPS 265 00:12:04,443 --> 00:12:07,443 OK, everybody, back to your jobs. We don't need the Polyphonic Spree. 266 00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:10,083 Shoo, shoo. Oh. Come on. 267 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,923 Not you! 268 00:12:13,923 --> 00:12:16,043 Oh! Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 269 00:12:17,163 --> 00:12:20,283 Right, surprise me. What's the management? 270 00:12:20,283 --> 00:12:22,203 Right. Er... 271 00:12:22,203 --> 00:12:24,763 OK, well, I would, erm... 272 00:12:24,763 --> 00:12:26,563 ..check for a patent airway, 273 00:12:26,563 --> 00:12:28,203 er, then I would put her 274 00:12:28,203 --> 00:12:31,403 in the left lateral position, run high oxygen flow 275 00:12:31,403 --> 00:12:34,123 through a non-rebreather mask, erm, check for 276 00:12:34,123 --> 00:12:35,403 a pulse... 277 00:12:35,403 --> 00:12:37,643 So near and yet so shit. 278 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:41,443 So, when people are really unconscious... 279 00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:45,923 ..their hands smash into their faces. 280 00:12:49,323 --> 00:12:52,203 PHONE BUZZES 281 00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:56,883 Adam? 282 00:12:56,883 --> 00:12:58,003 Adam! 283 00:12:59,483 --> 00:13:00,803 Adam? 284 00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:02,723 Do you think I'm rubbish? 285 00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:05,003 Look, I wasn't great on my first week, either. 286 00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,963 I've been here two months! 287 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,283 Two months? Well, I just haven't had a chance 288 00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,443 to do much hands-on stuff yet. 289 00:13:14,443 --> 00:13:16,083 How many babies have you delivered? 290 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,603 Erm... 291 00:13:17,603 --> 00:13:19,563 No babies have needed delivery in two months? 292 00:13:19,563 --> 00:13:21,563 Everyone's always too busy to teach me. 293 00:13:21,563 --> 00:13:23,323 You just need to be less of a wallflower. 294 00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:24,883 It's dog eat dog in this place. 295 00:13:25,963 --> 00:13:27,203 And... 296 00:13:28,203 --> 00:13:29,603 ..the dogs eat wallflowers. 297 00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:34,243 Sorry, sorry, sorry. I've been elbow-deep in a patient, 298 00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:37,643 I've had an ethnostate in Room 8 and someone else playing dead. 299 00:13:37,643 --> 00:13:39,803 Oh, and I've got blood matted into my pubes. 300 00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:41,443 ON PHONE: I love it when you talk dirty. 301 00:13:41,443 --> 00:13:43,043 Right, so, who did you say you were? 302 00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:44,723 My name's Harry. 303 00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,603 When you called my mother. 304 00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:48,403 I said I was your fuck buddy. 305 00:13:50,603 --> 00:13:51,963 I said I was your flatmate. 306 00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:53,843 But she knows we've only got one bedroom. 307 00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:56,283 Wild idea, but you know you could just...tell her about us? 308 00:13:56,283 --> 00:13:58,563 You don't know her. She'll turn you into stone, or something. 309 00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,363 Nah. Mums love me. It's like my superpower. 310 00:14:01,363 --> 00:14:03,203 How are we going to fake our own deaths, 311 00:14:03,203 --> 00:14:04,603 then, before Greg's stag do? 312 00:14:04,603 --> 00:14:06,483 I'm thinking avalanche, helicopter crash... 313 00:14:06,483 --> 00:14:09,083 Ah, it'll be a laugh. Carbon-monoxide poisoning? 314 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:11,083 PAGER BEEPS Shouldn't you pop along, 315 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,483 seeing as you're the best man? Crap. I was meant to go to gynae. 316 00:14:13,483 --> 00:14:15,363 Sorry, call you later. Don't apologise. 317 00:14:15,363 --> 00:14:17,003 That's the longest call we've had in months. 318 00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:18,643 I was starting to get bored. 319 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,243 # No-no, no, no 320 00:14:23,243 --> 00:14:24,963 # No-no-no, no, no-no, no 321 00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:26,563 # No, no-no 322 00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:28,163 # No, no, no-no 323 00:14:28,163 --> 00:14:29,603 # No-no, no, no 324 00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,123 # No-no, no, no 325 00:14:31,123 --> 00:14:33,003 # No-no, no, no-no, no 326 00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:35,483 # Nobody can do the # Shing-a-ling... # 327 00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:36,883 Erm, good news, Mrs W. 328 00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:39,083 You are finally free to go home. 329 00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:43,603 Are you stupid? 330 00:14:44,923 --> 00:14:47,523 I was told you were good to go, but, yeah, you don't look great. 331 00:14:47,523 --> 00:14:49,083 Speak for yourself. 332 00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:50,483 PAGER BEEPS 333 00:14:50,483 --> 00:14:52,963 Erm, must have been a bit of a mix-up. 334 00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:55,603 I'll come back later. I need to see someone else now. 335 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,203 Hopefully a hairdresser. 336 00:14:58,403 --> 00:15:00,043 # Skate # Like I do 337 00:15:00,043 --> 00:15:02,443 # Nobody can do # Boogaloo 338 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,483 # Like I do 339 00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:04,963 # Nobody can do # Philly 340 00:15:04,963 --> 00:15:06,483 # Like I do 341 00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:09,923 # Well, don't you know I'm gonna skate right through... # 342 00:15:09,923 --> 00:15:11,483 Dr Kay, you're needed in Room 4. 343 00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:12,883 Yes, I know... 344 00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,643 # When I go to Philly, I do 345 00:15:15,643 --> 00:15:17,803 # Ain't nobody doin' it but me, babe 346 00:15:17,803 --> 00:15:19,203 # Nobody but me 347 00:15:19,203 --> 00:15:21,043 # Well, let me tell you, nobody 348 00:15:21,043 --> 00:15:22,403 GROANING 349 00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:25,363 # But nobody but me 350 00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:26,963 # Let me tell you, nobody 351 00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:29,923 # Nobody Nobody... 352 00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:33,003 Never actually let the patient see the forceps. 353 00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:35,763 The only people happy with two-foot-long metal salad tongs 354 00:15:35,763 --> 00:15:37,963 inserted in their vaginas are people who aren't aware 355 00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:40,043 that there are two-foot-long metal salad tongs 356 00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:41,283 inserted in their vaginas. 357 00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:45,043 It's only a few more minutes. Shut up, Graham! 358 00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:47,163 And put your shirt back on. Just breathe. 359 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,163 That's what's important. SHE GROANS 360 00:15:49,163 --> 00:15:51,243 You're doing so good. 361 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:53,563 You're doing so well. 362 00:15:53,563 --> 00:15:55,803 You're doing so well, my little soldier! 363 00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:58,723 Shut up, Graham. I'm going to play the song now. 364 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,123 GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS Seen one before? Yes... 365 00:16:03,123 --> 00:16:04,963 See one, do one, teach one. 366 00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:06,523 PATIENT: I don't like this song. 367 00:16:06,523 --> 00:16:07,923 Change the song, change the song. 368 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,843 Wait for a contraction. 369 00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:13,123 And pull. 370 00:16:13,123 --> 00:16:14,723 You got to keep breathing. 371 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,043 PATIENT CRIES OUT 372 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:18,283 Just find your centre, baby. 373 00:16:18,283 --> 00:16:19,643 No stress. Graham... 374 00:16:19,643 --> 00:16:22,043 PHONE BUZZES 375 00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:24,563 Dr Kay speaking. It's Greg. You've not answered 376 00:16:24,563 --> 00:16:26,803 any emails in four days. No-one even knows where we're meeting. 377 00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:30,203 Push, push, push, push, push! Pull as hard as you can! Now! 378 00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:31,923 Oh, God, tell me you're not having sex. 379 00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:34,323 Just on labour ward right now. I know it's traditional 380 00:16:34,323 --> 00:16:36,643 for the best man to humiliate the groom on his stag do, 381 00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:39,603 and traditionally that involves handcuffs and a sex worker... 382 00:16:39,603 --> 00:16:41,163 Just put some oomph into it. 383 00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:43,443 Welly's threatening to take over and drag us all to a strip club. 384 00:16:43,443 --> 00:16:45,323 No, no, no, we won't be going to...breast clinic. 385 00:16:45,323 --> 00:16:47,283 If this doesn't work, will we have to do a Caesarean? 386 00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:50,883 It will work. Erm, look, it's all going to be civilised, don't worry. 387 00:16:50,883 --> 00:16:53,363 You say, "Don't worry," but you'll understand why I am still worried. 388 00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:55,883 Tell everyone 8 o'clock upstairs at the Crown. 389 00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:58,243 I'll see you later. I really need to get back to this vagina. 390 00:16:58,243 --> 00:17:00,563 Yeah, well, you're definitely not having sex, then. 391 00:17:00,563 --> 00:17:02,363 GRAHAM: You got to stay breathing, OK? 392 00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:04,243 That's it, that's it. You're doing brilliantly. 393 00:17:04,243 --> 00:17:05,963 Thanks. I was talking to the patient. 394 00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:08,923 Nice and slowly, nice and slowly. Don't let her tear. 395 00:17:08,923 --> 00:17:11,723 You're so beautiful! Graham, just stop. 396 00:17:11,723 --> 00:17:13,083 Nice and slowly, nice and... 397 00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:16,483 Dad, do you want to come down and see baby being born? 398 00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:19,603 Oh, my God, where's its face?! What's the matter with his face?! 399 00:17:20,643 --> 00:17:21,763 PATIENT SCREAMS 400 00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:23,883 BABY CRIES His face is fine. 401 00:17:23,883 --> 00:17:25,843 Just on the front of his head, not the back. 402 00:17:25,843 --> 00:17:28,123 Remember I said, "Don't let her tear"? 403 00:17:42,323 --> 00:17:45,243 Adam's a good name. HE CHUCKLES 404 00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:50,723 You've got a bit of a tear going into the back passage. 405 00:17:50,723 --> 00:17:52,603 We'll get you round to theatre, 406 00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:55,363 and have that repaired nicely for you. 407 00:17:55,363 --> 00:17:57,363 Won't take more than an hour or so. 408 00:18:22,563 --> 00:18:24,003 HE CLEARS THROAT 409 00:18:32,443 --> 00:18:34,123 SHE SNIFFS 410 00:18:37,603 --> 00:18:40,243 Adam, I'm so sorry. I wish I could've sewn it up myself. 411 00:18:40,243 --> 00:18:42,323 I've just never actually done it... It's fine. 412 00:18:42,323 --> 00:18:44,363 Besides, my genitals were wondering why 413 00:18:44,363 --> 00:18:46,403 they hadn't been covered in blood for a few hours. 414 00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:54,203 Better do an incident form. 415 00:18:54,203 --> 00:18:56,083 How are we doing here, then? 416 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,603 All under control, Mr Lockhart. 417 00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,363 Miracles never cease. Could you just have... 418 00:18:59,363 --> 00:19:01,523 I thought I told you to discharge that gynae patient. 419 00:19:01,523 --> 00:19:02,923 I see the miracles have ceased. 420 00:19:02,923 --> 00:19:04,283 No. But she's not even... 421 00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:06,923 Are my team causing you trouble, Ms Mendoza? 422 00:19:06,923 --> 00:19:08,403 We're full on labour ward. 423 00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:11,083 Post-nates, ante-nates, gynae. I don't know how we're supposed 424 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,803 to admit anyone from A&E. 425 00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:15,643 We've been on red alert all day, and we're practically at black alert. 426 00:19:15,643 --> 00:19:18,763 Burgundy alert, then. ALL LAUGH 427 00:19:18,763 --> 00:19:20,963 I'm sure we can do something about that for you. 428 00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:23,283 Can't we, Dr Kay? Yeah, we could pull out 429 00:19:23,283 --> 00:19:25,523 the patient's drips, and chuck her out the window. 430 00:19:25,523 --> 00:19:27,083 I knew you'd think of something. 431 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,523 Leave it with us. Can I help at all? 432 00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,523 You could pop down to the coffee shop. 433 00:19:31,523 --> 00:19:33,283 There's a vacancy for a barista. 434 00:19:33,283 --> 00:19:36,683 Shruti did her first forcep delivery earlier. 435 00:19:36,683 --> 00:19:38,083 Er, yeah, yeah. 436 00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:40,403 She had been in second stage for over an hour, and we... 437 00:19:40,403 --> 00:19:42,603 Very good. Walk with me, Adam. 438 00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:46,483 Quick story for you. 439 00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:48,603 So, there's this acting obstetric registrar, 440 00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:53,403 and he walks into a room and he calls his patient a Nazi. 441 00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:55,563 Oh, you're making it so much worse than it was. 442 00:19:55,563 --> 00:19:57,883 She was being racist to Tracy... Every mother and baby 443 00:19:57,883 --> 00:20:00,403 on this ward is relying on your good decisions, 444 00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:03,323 and your good judgment. Apologise to Tracy, 445 00:20:03,323 --> 00:20:05,083 apologise to the patient, 446 00:20:05,083 --> 00:20:06,803 and send some people home. 447 00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:10,003 Oh, and, Adam? 448 00:20:10,003 --> 00:20:11,883 Stop being shit. 449 00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:13,683 # You hit me once I hit you back 450 00:20:13,683 --> 00:20:15,123 PAGER BEEPS 451 00:20:15,123 --> 00:20:16,803 # You gave a kick I gave a slap 452 00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:20,763 # You smashed a plate over my head Then I set fire to our bed 453 00:20:23,243 --> 00:20:26,523 # You hit me once I hit you back... # 454 00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:28,243 Rachel Glover? 455 00:20:28,243 --> 00:20:29,643 Kerry Salisbury? 456 00:20:31,283 --> 00:20:32,883 Caroline Morobeto? 457 00:20:36,203 --> 00:20:38,923 # Oh, my black eye casts no shadow 458 00:20:38,923 --> 00:20:41,443 # Your red eye sees no blame 459 00:20:41,443 --> 00:20:43,763 # Your slaps don't stick Your kicks don't hit 460 00:20:43,763 --> 00:20:45,563 # So we remain the same 461 00:20:45,563 --> 00:20:47,763 # Blood sticks, sweat drips 462 00:20:47,763 --> 00:20:49,963 # Break the lock if it don't fit 463 00:20:49,963 --> 00:20:52,163 # A kick in the teeth is good for some 464 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:54,363 # A kiss with a fist is better than none 465 00:20:56,243 --> 00:20:58,323 # Whoa 466 00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,443 # A kiss with a fist is better than none. # 467 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:08,323 So, you've recovered from earlier. 468 00:21:08,323 --> 00:21:10,603 Oh, yes. Oh, God, sorry, Dr Adam. 469 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,963 I don't know what came over me. 470 00:21:11,963 --> 00:21:13,883 So, remind me, how many weeks are you? 471 00:21:13,883 --> 00:21:16,203 Oh, God, I hate maths. 472 00:21:16,203 --> 00:21:19,603 I couldn't even tell you in months. Er... 473 00:21:19,603 --> 00:21:21,363 Erm, OK, let's think. 474 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,323 So... Birthday's in June. 475 00:21:24,323 --> 00:21:25,443 I'll be 27... 476 00:21:27,443 --> 00:21:30,083 Well, it's got to be, like, 2,000 weeks? 477 00:21:31,443 --> 00:21:33,123 You're 25 weeks. 478 00:21:34,483 --> 00:21:36,323 Oh! 479 00:21:36,323 --> 00:21:37,723 You mean the baby. 480 00:21:37,723 --> 00:21:40,243 SHE LAUGHS 481 00:21:40,243 --> 00:21:44,003 So, erm, what's the...problem? 482 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:48,243 Well, I woke up this morning with a headache, 483 00:21:48,243 --> 00:21:52,283 and my tongue is just, like, totally covered in spots. 484 00:21:52,283 --> 00:21:54,083 Right. Let's have a look. 485 00:21:58,403 --> 00:22:00,123 OK. 486 00:22:02,763 --> 00:22:06,563 I'm afraid that what you have is known as... 487 00:22:06,563 --> 00:22:08,363 ..taste buds. 488 00:22:10,803 --> 00:22:13,323 Oh. SHE LAUGHS 489 00:22:16,283 --> 00:22:18,523 So, is there someone at home we can call 490 00:22:18,523 --> 00:22:20,283 to come and collect you, 491 00:22:20,283 --> 00:22:22,363 or do you live here now? 492 00:22:22,363 --> 00:22:24,843 Oh, God, no, who'd want to live with me? 493 00:22:26,963 --> 00:22:28,883 PAGER BEEPS 494 00:22:28,883 --> 00:22:30,403 Right. 495 00:22:35,403 --> 00:22:38,363 Adam, that lady you just saw, her blood pressure's a bit high. 496 00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:41,003 Do you want me to send her for some bloods? Just send her home. 497 00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:44,203 No, wait. Erm, yes, do the bloods. 498 00:22:45,603 --> 00:22:47,163 Yep? 499 00:22:48,523 --> 00:22:50,203 What's the trace like? 500 00:22:52,683 --> 00:22:54,923 Isn't the evening registrar here yet? 501 00:22:57,483 --> 00:22:59,643 OK. Fine. 502 00:22:59,643 --> 00:23:01,883 Right, we're doing a Caesarean for Room 8. 503 00:23:01,883 --> 00:23:04,723 Dr Adam? Dr Adam, sorry, sorry, I meant to say. 504 00:23:04,723 --> 00:23:07,043 My teeth have become a bit itchy. 505 00:23:07,043 --> 00:23:08,523 Send her home. 506 00:23:09,603 --> 00:23:11,683 Don't ask to do it. I'm tired. 507 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,283 I need to be gone ten minutes ago. 508 00:23:13,283 --> 00:23:14,923 Erm, so, we're all good to go. 509 00:23:14,923 --> 00:23:16,483 We'll have baby out in five minutes, 510 00:23:16,483 --> 00:23:20,003 and may I just say, I misspoke before 511 00:23:20,003 --> 00:23:23,203 and I'm very sorry. All water under the bridge. 512 00:23:23,203 --> 00:23:25,203 But just checking it will be you doing this operation 513 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:27,043 and nobody else. 514 00:23:28,963 --> 00:23:30,683 Yes. 515 00:23:30,683 --> 00:23:32,323 Yes, it will. Yeah. 516 00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:41,363 Actually, fuck it. You've got to learn some time. You're up. 517 00:23:41,363 --> 00:23:43,243 Come on, you've seen one. Y-Yeah... 518 00:23:43,243 --> 00:23:46,043 So you know the routine. See one, fuck one up, teach one. 519 00:23:46,043 --> 00:23:48,843 Really? Thank you. 520 00:23:48,843 --> 00:23:51,443 Are you sure? Not especially. Come on. 521 00:23:59,763 --> 00:24:01,283 Are you happy? 522 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:05,203 Right, come on. 523 00:24:07,403 --> 00:24:09,443 This it? Yeah. Hurry up, please, 524 00:24:09,443 --> 00:24:11,883 I think the anaesthetist's retiring next week. 525 00:24:16,723 --> 00:24:18,523 Adam? Mm? 526 00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:21,003 Stretch it. Come on. Harder than that. 527 00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,883 Right, through the peritoneum, then. 528 00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:27,523 Pop your finger in. You're not going to damage anything. 529 00:24:27,523 --> 00:24:29,683 OK. 530 00:24:29,683 --> 00:24:31,123 Oh! 531 00:24:34,643 --> 00:24:37,083 Adam? Adam? 532 00:24:37,083 --> 00:24:39,763 Er, yeah, OK, good. Great. So, you're going to make 533 00:24:39,763 --> 00:24:42,323 a U-shape in the lower segment of the uterus, 534 00:24:42,323 --> 00:24:44,323 and then you're going to extend it with your fingers. 535 00:24:44,323 --> 00:24:45,923 What if there isn't a lower segment? 536 00:24:45,923 --> 00:24:48,163 You know, like if it's before 32 weeks. 537 00:24:48,163 --> 00:24:50,363 Yeah, we usually save the Q&A session for afterwards. 538 00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:53,043 It would just be a horrible, bloody mess. Come on, get on with it. 539 00:24:53,043 --> 00:24:54,923 Is that...? Good. 540 00:24:54,923 --> 00:24:56,443 Now what? 541 00:24:56,443 --> 00:24:58,643 I think even you can guess what happens next. Come on. 542 00:24:58,643 --> 00:25:00,323 That's it. 543 00:25:00,323 --> 00:25:02,363 Just guide the head out. It's coming. 544 00:25:03,883 --> 00:25:05,363 OK. 545 00:25:06,923 --> 00:25:08,323 That's it. 546 00:25:10,043 --> 00:25:12,763 One baby coming up... 547 00:25:12,763 --> 00:25:14,403 BABY CRIES 548 00:25:17,803 --> 00:25:20,043 No, get her off me. I'm not having a Paki 549 00:25:20,043 --> 00:25:22,123 delivering my baby! Get her off me! 550 00:25:22,123 --> 00:25:25,603 Stop touching it! You promised that you would do it! 551 00:25:25,603 --> 00:25:28,243 Excuse me, get me out of this! Take this! 552 00:25:28,243 --> 00:25:29,963 What is this? Get this off me! 553 00:25:29,963 --> 00:25:32,283 Adolf's a good name. Mum, will you do something?! 554 00:25:34,603 --> 00:25:36,043 You did really well. 555 00:25:37,323 --> 00:25:39,643 One Caesarean down, 8,000 to go. 556 00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:43,443 To be fair, they don't normally end like that. 557 00:25:43,443 --> 00:25:46,763 Erm, write up the notes and mention that I closed the skin. 558 00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:52,803 Oh, gosh, isn't he wonderful? 559 00:26:06,163 --> 00:26:07,803 Oh, for... 560 00:26:10,363 --> 00:26:12,443 PHONE RINGS 561 00:26:13,763 --> 00:26:15,243 Cancellations hotline. 562 00:26:15,243 --> 00:26:17,843 Press 1 for you need to stay at work, leaving me to make 563 00:26:17,843 --> 00:26:22,003 small talk with 20 public-school dickheads I barely know. 564 00:26:22,003 --> 00:26:25,123 That's unfair. There's only 15 of them. 565 00:26:25,123 --> 00:26:26,563 And I'm just leaving now. 566 00:26:26,563 --> 00:26:29,843 No way! Can you bring a change of clothes, please? 567 00:26:29,843 --> 00:26:32,283 Yeah. Anything in particular? 568 00:26:32,283 --> 00:26:33,483 Erm, something smart-casual 569 00:26:33,483 --> 00:26:36,283 and not totally encrusted with a stranger's blood? 570 00:26:36,283 --> 00:26:38,283 Hula skirt and feather boa it is, then. 571 00:26:38,283 --> 00:26:40,163 HE CHUCKLES See you in a bit. 572 00:26:44,123 --> 00:26:46,003 You can't help being ill, darling. 573 00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:48,363 I'll just get somebody else to pick her up. 574 00:26:48,363 --> 00:26:51,443 Right. Bye-bye. 575 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,283 Er, Adam? 576 00:26:53,283 --> 00:26:55,243 I saw what you did to that dolphin. 577 00:26:55,243 --> 00:26:57,323 A gentleman never discusses a lady's blowhole. 578 00:26:57,323 --> 00:26:59,643 Do you want my advice, Adam? Erm, not really. 579 00:26:59,643 --> 00:27:01,283 That is exactly your problem. 580 00:27:01,283 --> 00:27:03,243 It was pretty funny, though, right? 581 00:27:18,563 --> 00:27:24,483 # Prophet six-zero-zero-nine-one 582 00:27:24,483 --> 00:27:27,563 # This is the flight number 583 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:30,563 # Of our galactic sun 584 00:27:32,563 --> 00:27:37,523 # Prophet six-zero-zero-nine-one 585 00:27:38,883 --> 00:27:40,243 # Before we start 586 00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:45,203 # You should know that you're not the only one 587 00:27:45,203 --> 00:27:46,643 # Who can hurt me... # 588 00:27:56,923 --> 00:27:58,563 ENGINE STARTS 589 00:28:05,043 --> 00:28:06,763 It's my second-favourite doctor! 590 00:28:06,763 --> 00:28:08,003 Who's number one? 591 00:28:08,003 --> 00:28:09,523 David Tennant. First series. 592 00:28:13,123 --> 00:28:15,683 How was work? Fine, thanks. Who are they? 593 00:28:15,683 --> 00:28:18,043 No idea, but they're better craic than your mates upstairs. 594 00:28:18,043 --> 00:28:19,363 Oh, come on. 595 00:28:19,363 --> 00:28:21,523 I'm sure you'll find something in common with them. 596 00:28:21,523 --> 00:28:24,203 There you go. See? Wearing the same T-shirt. 597 00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:26,603 Some guy called...Welly brought them. 598 00:28:26,603 --> 00:28:29,203 Well, they're not too terrible, considering. 599 00:28:32,763 --> 00:28:34,883 Shall we just do this? Come on. 600 00:28:36,203 --> 00:28:38,643 SHOUTING AND CHEERING 601 00:28:41,923 --> 00:28:44,643 Ah! 7:58. There you go. 602 00:28:44,643 --> 00:28:47,883 I knew you wouldn't let me down. 603 00:28:47,883 --> 00:28:51,603 No, you didn't. Yeah, fine. May have lost a small bet. 604 00:28:51,603 --> 00:28:54,003 Nightmare! This place doesn't do Jagerbombs! 605 00:28:54,003 --> 00:28:55,363 Whatever will we do? 606 00:28:55,363 --> 00:28:58,603 Adster! Welly. Don't do that. 607 00:29:00,043 --> 00:29:03,723 Where's your T-shirt? Yeah, Adster, where's your T-shirt? 608 00:29:03,723 --> 00:29:05,363 Put it on. 609 00:29:07,163 --> 00:29:08,883 CHANTING: Put it on. 610 00:29:08,883 --> 00:29:15,643 Put it on, put it on, put it on, put it on! 611 00:29:15,643 --> 00:29:18,163 Yes! And as for you... 612 00:29:18,163 --> 00:29:20,523 ..one pint of gin. 613 00:29:20,523 --> 00:29:21,923 No, I'm not going to drink that. 614 00:29:21,923 --> 00:29:24,163 Well, you will be, because it's tradi-ti-on. How can it be 615 00:29:24,163 --> 00:29:25,883 a tradition? I've never got married before. 616 00:29:25,883 --> 00:29:28,523 Right, I need a drink. Is this my stuff? 617 00:29:28,523 --> 00:29:30,963 So, did your mum call? She left a voicemail. 618 00:29:30,963 --> 00:29:32,963 Ah. And you didn't listen. 619 00:29:32,963 --> 00:29:35,963 No. I'm changing my number and moving to Venezuela. 620 00:29:37,643 --> 00:29:39,003 You done there? 621 00:29:39,003 --> 00:29:40,523 BOTH LAUGH 622 00:29:40,523 --> 00:29:42,363 Right, come on, what do you want? 623 00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:46,083 I think 12 litres of vodka Red Bull should probably do it. 624 00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:48,643 Er, can I get a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and... 625 00:29:48,643 --> 00:29:50,283 PHONE BUZZES 626 00:29:50,283 --> 00:29:53,003 ..a rum and Coke, please? This'll be Jakesy. 627 00:29:53,003 --> 00:29:55,003 He's probably gone to Poland by mistake. Hello? 628 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:57,843 ON PHONE: Kay. Mr Lockhart! I'm just in a... 629 00:29:57,843 --> 00:29:59,483 CHANTING: Pint of gin, pint of gin! 630 00:29:59,483 --> 00:30:01,203 ..supermarket. 631 00:30:01,203 --> 00:30:03,483 Sorry, Mr Lockhart, how can I help? 632 00:30:03,483 --> 00:30:06,323 Er, listen, the locum registrar 633 00:30:06,323 --> 00:30:08,803 hasn't turned up for the night shift. 634 00:30:09,883 --> 00:30:12,163 Erm... Who's the senior reg? 635 00:30:12,163 --> 00:30:15,123 Er, I don't think he'd get here from Sydney in time. 636 00:30:16,243 --> 00:30:19,003 Well, do say if you've got something more important on. 637 00:30:19,003 --> 00:30:21,643 Erm, no. No, no, no. Erm... 638 00:30:21,643 --> 00:30:23,203 No, I can do it. 639 00:30:23,203 --> 00:30:24,963 Will the missus understand? 640 00:30:29,123 --> 00:30:31,643 She'll be fine with it. Good man. Bye! 641 00:30:31,643 --> 00:30:33,283 LOCKHART HANGS UP 642 00:30:38,643 --> 00:30:41,123 How long are you going to be? A couple of hours? 643 00:30:41,123 --> 00:30:43,923 12. I'm so sorry. And there's no-one else who could...? 644 00:30:46,483 --> 00:30:49,003 I'm sorry. It's really crap for you. 645 00:30:52,483 --> 00:30:56,243 You don't have to stay here, obviously. I'll be grand. 646 00:30:56,243 --> 00:30:58,203 I've never had a...pint of gin before. 647 00:31:00,363 --> 00:31:02,803 Just a couple more years, then I'll be a consultant, 648 00:31:02,803 --> 00:31:05,203 and it'll just be me, you and an Aston Martin. 649 00:31:05,203 --> 00:31:08,363 It would be nice to live somewhere a bit more spacious. 650 00:31:08,363 --> 00:31:10,363 We can shower in the glove compartment. 651 00:31:10,363 --> 00:31:12,243 Right, go on. You've got some babies to deliver. 652 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:17,683 You should have gone along with my avalanche idea. 653 00:31:17,683 --> 00:31:20,443 OK, your first best-manly duty is to rescue my dad. 654 00:31:20,443 --> 00:31:23,363 Welly's trying to get him to drink a shoe full of sambuca. 655 00:31:23,363 --> 00:31:25,323 Shoe-ca! Shoe-ca! 656 00:31:27,403 --> 00:31:30,083 You're going to hate me. 657 00:31:30,083 --> 00:31:32,763 There's a...staffing emergency at the hospital. 658 00:31:32,763 --> 00:31:34,443 There's no doctors on labour ward. 659 00:31:34,443 --> 00:31:38,403 No. So I have to go back in. Drink this. Then you can't go in. 660 00:31:40,123 --> 00:31:43,083 I can't. OK, give me one good reason. 661 00:31:43,083 --> 00:31:44,523 Er... 662 00:31:44,523 --> 00:31:47,563 Er, because I, erm... Because you'd rather be at work. 663 00:31:48,723 --> 00:31:50,443 Yeah, have a good night, mate. 664 00:31:58,443 --> 00:32:00,123 Fuck's sake! 665 00:32:44,523 --> 00:32:47,003 Do you want the good news or the bad news? 666 00:32:47,003 --> 00:32:49,443 Erm, the good. Oh, I was worried you'd say that. 667 00:32:49,443 --> 00:32:51,243 It's all bad, I'm afraid. 668 00:32:51,243 --> 00:32:53,003 The wards are stuffed to the gills, 669 00:32:53,003 --> 00:32:56,643 there's no SHO, and the midwife in charge is Tracy. 670 00:32:56,643 --> 00:32:58,803 Well, she was working during the day. The other one. 671 00:32:58,803 --> 00:33:02,003 "Non-Reassuring Trace." 672 00:33:02,003 --> 00:33:03,803 Right, I'm off home. But call me whenever. 673 00:33:03,803 --> 00:33:05,683 I won't. Good man. 674 00:33:07,563 --> 00:33:10,203 You're very intent on showing me your penis today. 675 00:33:10,203 --> 00:33:12,243 They need to increase the credits 676 00:33:12,243 --> 00:33:14,483 on the scrub machine. You can practically tell 677 00:33:14,483 --> 00:33:17,043 who did your circumcision. Made a right meal of it. 678 00:33:21,523 --> 00:33:23,283 WOMAN: Keep going. 679 00:33:29,443 --> 00:33:32,323 Hi, Trace. How can I help? Oh, Doctor, thank God you're here. 680 00:33:32,323 --> 00:33:34,323 Can you see Room 11 for me? 681 00:33:34,323 --> 00:33:36,803 I'm desperately worried about her. 682 00:33:36,803 --> 00:33:39,203 Quick as you can. 683 00:33:39,203 --> 00:33:40,963 WOMAN SCREAMS 684 00:33:51,483 --> 00:33:53,403 BABY CRIES 685 00:34:02,603 --> 00:34:04,563 Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. 686 00:34:05,883 --> 00:34:09,203 No, I didn't take a photo! It's someone else's baby! 687 00:34:09,203 --> 00:34:11,883 Yeah, I know, Mum said the exact same thing. 688 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,203 Actually, I'm not going to make it home this weekend, 689 00:34:14,203 --> 00:34:16,963 but, erm... SHE SPEAKS HINDI 690 00:34:16,963 --> 00:34:20,603 Mm-hm. Yeah, erm, I love you, too. OK. Bye. 691 00:34:20,603 --> 00:34:21,963 Bye. 692 00:34:21,963 --> 00:34:23,923 What the hell are you still doing here? 693 00:34:23,923 --> 00:34:26,523 Don't you have a depressing flat to go back to? 694 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:28,803 The incident forms are longer than you think. 695 00:34:28,803 --> 00:34:30,443 Just go home. 696 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,963 I'll do yours when I do mine. 697 00:34:32,963 --> 00:34:35,083 This is yours. Oh, no way! 698 00:34:35,083 --> 00:34:36,603 ALARM BLARES 699 00:34:36,603 --> 00:34:39,363 I wouldn't break a sweat. Non-Reassuring-Tracey's on. 700 00:34:39,363 --> 00:34:41,203 The patient's probably farted. 701 00:34:41,203 --> 00:34:42,923 WOMAN SCREAMS 702 00:34:47,563 --> 00:34:49,363 25 weeks. First baby. 703 00:34:49,363 --> 00:34:52,203 Blood pressure's through the roof. 704 00:34:52,203 --> 00:34:55,083 SHE SCREAMS Grade one Caesarean section. 705 00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:56,923 Get anaesthetics round to theatres now. 706 00:34:56,923 --> 00:34:59,683 Tell paeds it's a 25-weeker with placental abruption. 707 00:34:59,683 --> 00:35:01,523 Severe pre-eclampsia. 708 00:35:01,523 --> 00:35:03,563 Turns out I probably shouldn't have sent her home. 709 00:35:03,563 --> 00:35:06,603 Erika, listen. I'm very worried about your baby. 710 00:35:06,603 --> 00:35:08,923 Placenta's coming away. I need to deliver you immediately 711 00:35:08,923 --> 00:35:10,723 to save baby's life. 712 00:35:10,723 --> 00:35:13,643 It's too early! I'm going to perform a Caesarean section. 713 00:35:13,643 --> 00:35:16,003 Do you understand? SHE SCREAMS 714 00:35:18,963 --> 00:35:20,563 Do you want your consultant in? 715 00:35:20,563 --> 00:35:22,323 I've got this, thanks, Tracy. 716 00:35:23,403 --> 00:35:26,363 Is my sister here? We've called her, and she'll be here in time 717 00:35:26,363 --> 00:35:28,883 to say hello to your baby. Or goodbye. 718 00:35:28,883 --> 00:35:32,683 Why don't you count down from 20 for me? 719 00:35:32,683 --> 00:35:35,203 20, 19...18... 720 00:35:35,203 --> 00:35:36,803 Come on. 721 00:35:38,443 --> 00:35:40,723 Are you happy? Ready when you are. 722 00:35:40,723 --> 00:35:43,603 Adam, have you done a 25-week Caesarean before? No. 723 00:35:43,603 --> 00:35:45,163 I've seen one. 724 00:35:57,403 --> 00:35:59,963 Pull. Quick. And retractor in. 725 00:36:47,403 --> 00:36:48,603 Adam? 726 00:36:48,603 --> 00:36:51,403 MAN: Yeah, chest movement. Adam? 727 00:36:51,403 --> 00:36:54,483 Adam! Er, sorry. Swabs, please. 728 00:36:54,483 --> 00:36:56,323 Let's start the suction. 729 00:37:03,403 --> 00:37:05,283 Oh, my God. 730 00:37:07,363 --> 00:37:09,363 Come on. Shit. 731 00:37:09,363 --> 00:37:12,163 Pressures aren't great here. What's the blood loss like? 732 00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:14,003 Er, it's a litre, a litre-and-a-half. 733 00:37:14,003 --> 00:37:16,123 Can you bleep the on-call haematologist? 734 00:37:16,123 --> 00:37:18,923 I'm going to need some more blood products. 735 00:37:18,923 --> 00:37:21,643 Find out who's the anaesthetic consultant. 736 00:37:22,843 --> 00:37:24,603 More swabs. 737 00:37:29,483 --> 00:37:31,883 I-I can't see anything. It's too thick to stitch. 738 00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:34,563 So much blood. Shit, I can't... 739 00:37:34,563 --> 00:37:36,403 I... I can't get it under... 740 00:37:36,403 --> 00:37:37,843 Fuck! 741 00:37:37,843 --> 00:37:41,003 This is insane. I can't... I can't see anything. Shit! 742 00:37:41,003 --> 00:37:42,603 Fuck! Adam... 743 00:37:42,603 --> 00:37:44,283 ..you can do this. 744 00:37:44,283 --> 00:37:45,843 I can't. I can't do this. 745 00:37:46,923 --> 00:37:49,483 This woman's going to die, and it's my fault. 746 00:37:49,483 --> 00:37:51,363 Shall we get Mr Lockhart in? 747 00:37:55,643 --> 00:37:58,603 Yeah. Yeah, please. Tracy, will you call Mr Lockhart 748 00:37:58,603 --> 00:38:00,123 and ask him to come in, please? 749 00:38:00,123 --> 00:38:03,203 I called him before you started. Why did you do that? I... 750 00:38:04,723 --> 00:38:06,203 Thank you. 751 00:38:41,403 --> 00:38:42,803 HE RETCHES 752 00:38:55,923 --> 00:38:57,523 I'm really sorry. 753 00:39:04,123 --> 00:39:06,123 It was really busy, 754 00:39:06,123 --> 00:39:08,763 and I genuinely thought that she was crying wolf. 755 00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:11,843 She was crying severe early-onset pre-eclampsia, 756 00:39:11,843 --> 00:39:15,563 which you'd have known if you'd done so much as a blood test. 757 00:39:15,563 --> 00:39:18,163 And then, for some reason, you attempted an operation 758 00:39:18,163 --> 00:39:20,203 any consultant would struggle with. 759 00:39:21,683 --> 00:39:24,163 Oh, you can buy Tracy a box of chocolates, by the way, 760 00:39:24,163 --> 00:39:25,803 for calling me in. 761 00:39:29,003 --> 00:39:31,403 Can I just say...? No! 762 00:39:33,963 --> 00:39:39,243 Amend your entry from when you first saw this patient this afternoon. 763 00:39:41,083 --> 00:39:43,363 Write that you discussed with me over the phone, 764 00:39:43,363 --> 00:39:46,443 and that I advised you to send her home. 765 00:39:46,443 --> 00:39:48,363 What? 766 00:39:48,363 --> 00:39:50,523 No, you don't have to do that. 767 00:39:50,523 --> 00:39:52,603 Well, you didn't have to come in tonight. 768 00:39:55,323 --> 00:39:56,843 I did. Yeah, you did. 769 00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:12,763 Hi. Um... 770 00:40:12,763 --> 00:40:14,643 ..something to keep you going. 771 00:40:47,163 --> 00:40:49,003 SLAM 772 00:40:59,963 --> 00:41:02,443 PHONE BUZZES 773 00:41:46,483 --> 00:41:50,323 Hi. I'm one of the obstetric, erm, registrars. 774 00:41:51,283 --> 00:41:53,603 Are you lost? 775 00:41:53,603 --> 00:41:55,643 Erm, I'm looking for... 776 00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:57,683 ..baby Van Hegan. The 25-weeker. 777 00:41:57,683 --> 00:42:00,563 Ah! Are you the one who, er...? 778 00:42:04,203 --> 00:42:07,243 Well, you're not going to knock over the incubator, are you? 779 00:42:08,563 --> 00:42:09,923 Bed 5. 780 00:42:38,523 --> 00:42:40,163 I'm really sorry. 781 00:42:40,163 --> 00:42:44,083 I was...really tired, and I just wanted to get home. 782 00:42:45,883 --> 00:42:48,523 And...this place is insane. 783 00:42:49,883 --> 00:42:51,683 And... 784 00:42:51,683 --> 00:42:53,203 ..I fucked up. 785 00:42:53,203 --> 00:42:55,403 I mucked up. 786 00:42:55,403 --> 00:42:57,683 Sorry. 787 00:42:57,683 --> 00:42:59,443 I tried my best. 788 00:43:03,123 --> 00:43:06,043 WHISPERS: Just promise me you'll have a normal head scan. 789 00:43:24,883 --> 00:43:27,003 Enjoy your last night of pussy. 790 00:43:56,803 --> 00:43:59,843 # I've been workin', baby 791 00:44:02,123 --> 00:44:04,163 # For too long now 792 00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:09,243 # Just wanna get next to you, boy 793 00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:14,243 # I've been searchin', baby 794 00:44:15,603 --> 00:44:18,563 # A way to tell you how 795 00:44:20,243 --> 00:44:23,643 # Gotta get through to you, boy 796 00:44:25,563 --> 00:44:29,523 # Never said it was sunshine 797 00:44:29,523 --> 00:44:32,603 # But you took it all of the time 798 00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:36,603 # Never said it was sunshine 799 00:44:36,603 --> 00:44:39,563 # But you took it all of the time 800 00:44:41,403 --> 00:44:43,443 # All of the time 801 00:44:45,123 --> 00:44:47,603 # All of the time 802 00:44:48,603 --> 00:44:50,923 # All of the time 803 00:44:50,923 --> 00:44:53,483 # You took it all of the time 804 00:45:09,163 --> 00:45:12,883 # There's no escaping now 805 00:45:12,883 --> 00:45:15,923 # Let me show you how 806 00:45:17,323 --> 00:45:20,963 # What it feels to be true 807 00:45:51,563 --> 00:45:54,523 # I've been workin', baby 808 00:45:56,763 --> 00:45:58,803 # For too long now 809 00:46:00,043 --> 00:46:03,683 # Just wanna get next to you, boy 810 00:46:05,843 --> 00:46:08,803 # I've been searchin', baby 811 00:46:10,043 --> 00:46:12,763 # A way to tell you how 812 00:46:14,323 --> 00:46:18,323 # Gotta get through to you, boy. #