1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,560 So, Paul, we're on a steam train. 2 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,640 What does that mean? I think it means it's Christmas. 3 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,800 It's the Christmas show, yeah. Yeah. 4 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,600 But it's not very Christmassy out there, Bob. 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,600 Yeah, well, it isn't, but it's the Christmas show. 6 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,680 Right. 7 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,680 WHISTLE BLOWS 8 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,920 Do you know where we're heading? Um... 9 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,520 I'll tell you where we're heading. 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,960 We're heading to the centre of Christmas this year. 11 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,680 Oh, right, and who decides where it's centred? 12 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,120 Me, of course. 13 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,120 HE CHUCKLES 14 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,160 Silly of me. Of course it's you, isn't it? 15 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,840 Do you know where it might be? 16 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,960 Give us a clue. Ted's got a little hint. 17 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,120 Oh, right, OK. 18 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,320 It's a Cornish pasty, we're going to Cornwall. 19 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,200 Wow, nice! 20 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,920 We're going to actually, on our way to Cornwall, 21 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,560 fish on a beautiful river called the River Lyd in Devon. 22 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,200 Then we'll be fishing in Cornwall. Brilliant. Yeah? 23 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,680 We've got the awards ceremony, special Christmas dinner, 24 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:08,720 some beautiful accommodation for our Cornish Christmas adventure. 25 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,120 Oh, lovely. 26 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,120 WHISTLE BLOWS 27 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,040 This carriage is called a Pullman carriage, fancy. 28 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,920 Yeah, was the personal carriage of Winston Churchill. 29 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,520 And it was in this carriage that he had a meeting with 30 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,160 General Eisenhower to discuss the D-Day landings. 31 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,640 We might be in their seats. 32 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,160 We might be in their seats. I'll be Churchill, 33 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,200 because he's facing forward. 34 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,040 AS CHURCHILL: I've got you, haven't I, you silly yank? 35 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,760 AMERICAN: Did you call me a silly egg? 36 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,080 No, no, no, no, no, no. 37 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,080 THEY LAUGH 38 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,640 TED BARKS 39 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,480 Come, Ted. Good boy. 40 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,640 TED VOICE: I didn't want to come to Devon, 41 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,560 you told me we was going to Cornwall. 42 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,520 We're on our way to Cornwall, Ted. Drag me down some muggy old river. 43 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,760 What's the matter with you, Mortimer? 44 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,640 And the other one, I forgot his name, to be honest. 45 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,600 So this is it, Paul. Yeah. The River Lyd. 46 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,360 Yeah, beautiful, ain't it, Bob? 47 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,400 I'll start down there, you get in there, yeah? 48 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,680 Righty-oh. What are we fishing for though? 49 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,120 Well, trout and sea trout as well. 50 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,520 Look, we've got one of those views, Paul, through there. 51 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,520 Oh, we have, it's a portal, ain't it? 52 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,000 It's a portal to the who knows what? To the Magic Kingdom. 53 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,360 Yeah. Right. Let's do it. 54 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,520 Do you have roast potatoes 55 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,000 and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul? 56 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,000 I would if I was offered it. 57 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,320 You know, in Cornwall? Yeah. 58 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,920 They like to have a bit of fish. 59 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,080 Really? What are they, French? 60 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,920 Turbot or halibut, that sort of thing. 61 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,120 Oh, yeah, nice. 62 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,400 Aargh! 63 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,840 Are you caught again? 64 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,480 Oh, thank God. 65 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,240 You get it? Yeah. 66 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,320 Would you describe me as fat? 67 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,200 No. 68 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,560 I'm overweight, but you'd say there's a fat bloke over there. 69 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:52,640 Not really, Bob, you've got a sort of big round head, haven't you? 70 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,960 But you're not fat, no. 71 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,960 Oh... 72 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,960 BLEEP 73 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,200 Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! 74 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,680 Oh, Bob. You all right, mate? 75 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,400 I'm absolutely fine, but I'm wet. 76 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,240 It was a bit cold as well, weren't it? 77 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,400 Fat and wet. 78 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,000 Lucky you had that layer of blubber there for buoyancy. 79 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,840 Bloody hell, Bob, you all right? Yeah, no, I'm fine. 80 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,800 Go on, go and sort yourself out. 81 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,360 Did you hurt yourself going in? I took a bit of a bang on the, um... 82 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,440 On the rump. 83 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,360 On the rump! I've got one rump and one buttock. 84 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,080 Have you? Unusual, isn't it? 85 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,280 It is very unusual. 86 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,720 Oh, man. 87 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,400 I'll tell you what with Christmas this year, Paul, 88 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,680 here's a little thing for you. Oh, yeah, go on. 89 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,160 I don't think my Christmases will ever be the same. 90 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,840 Yeah? 91 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:58,240 Last Christmas, on Christmas Day, grandad, 92 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,000 my father-in-law, was in hospital. Yeah. 93 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,520 And so on Christmas Day, me and my son took him his present. 94 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,440 It was a nice little steam train calendar. 95 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,760 Oh, yeah. But when we got there, he was fast asleep 96 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,880 and he couldn't be roused, so we just said "Happy Christmas" to him. 97 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,160 And took the present back? 98 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,760 No, we gave him the present for when he woke up and that. 99 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:23,360 Yeah. And then when we got home there was a phone call from the ward 100 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,800 and he died by the time we got home. 101 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,480 We sort of thought to ourselves, me and Tom, my son, 102 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:35,560 that maybe, just maybe, he heard us say "Happy Christmas". 103 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,840 Yeah. And then say goodbye. 104 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,240 Yeah. And he thought, all right, I'll turn off now, then. 105 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,440 That was nice. It's possible, ain't it? 106 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,480 It's possible. 107 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,080 You know maybe. On Christmas Day? On Christmas Day. 108 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,000 He liked steam engines and he liked beer. 109 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,680 There's plenty of them about, isn't there? 110 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,000 That's a man, isn't it? Yeah. 111 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,680 Rod Stewart, he likes steam engines and beer, doesn't he? 112 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,320 Yeah. Apparently. 113 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,280 It's a type, innit? It IS a type. 114 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,680 That's too close in, I think. 115 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,160 Oh... 116 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,320 I'm in, Bob. You're in? You're in? 117 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,000 Yep. What were you thinking, little trout? 118 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,680 No, it's not so little and I don't know what it is yet. 119 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,600 HE CHUCKLES 120 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,600 Well done, man. 121 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,120 First Christmas catch. 122 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,280 Think it's a grayling. 123 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,480 Yes, it's... I think it's a grayling, yeah. 124 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,680 It is a grayling. It's a nice one as well. 125 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,480 Oh, Bob, look at him. 126 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,880 Go on. Get him. 127 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,240 Yes! Oh, Paul, it's a whopper. 128 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,960 That is the biggest one we've ever caught. 129 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,880 It is, isn't it? Look at that. 130 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,600 See this fin? Cor! That's a beauty, ain't it? 131 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,040 Right. Let's get him back. Beautiful creature. 132 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,720 # Beautiful creature. # 133 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,880 There you go. And...away. 134 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,600 Well done, Paul. God, it's cold, that water, ain't it? 135 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:19,880 Lovely. 136 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,440 Are we having a cup of tea, darling? Yes, I'd love a cup of tea. 137 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:23,840 I've got some special treats. 138 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,160 Have you? Christmas treats for you. Oh, nice. 139 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,200 So this is me Christmas spread. 140 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,040 Wow, look at that! 141 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:41,040 Yule log, Gingerbread man, that one's me, that one's you. 142 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,840 Oh, OK. Obviously. 143 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,360 Look what I've got here, Paul. 144 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,800 Ooh! Mince pies heating by the camping stove. 145 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,840 Oh-ho-ho! 146 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,840 Come on, Teddy. It's nothing to do with you, Ted. 147 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,440 TED VOICE: It's everything to do with me. 148 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,680 Yeah, but it is! Yeah, but it isn't. 149 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:02,120 No, it's nothing to do with you. BOTH: Yeah, but it is. 150 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,920 Nicely judged, Mr Mince Pie, as they call you. 151 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,040 It's really heated through well, isn't it? 152 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,640 There you go, Teddy. I have got some cream. 153 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,000 Stop, whoa. Ted, do you want a bit of squirty cream? 154 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,600 I wonder if you squirted it into his mouth he'd just keep going? 155 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:22,080 And he'd grow out a bit... And then... 156 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,200 Exactly! 157 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,120 I'll have a go. You're going to fish with a nymph, right. 158 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,440 Where there's one grayling... There's more. That's more. 159 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,560 Yeah. Just mind those that those berries, right? 160 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,240 Ooh, that's beautiful, you lucky sod. 161 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,200 Right, keep go on that's it, keep that line off the water. 162 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,240 Track it down. 163 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,640 Give that little line a mend, that's it, like that, that's good. 164 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,600 Another... 165 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,160 Oh, Bob, Bob! Oh, nice! 166 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,080 That's good fish, Bob. It's a good fish! 167 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,800 I know it's a good fish, I can see it is. 168 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,840 I think you might have a sea trout there or a big grayling. 169 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,160 It's a good fish! 170 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,920 Go on, then, try and get it on the reel. 171 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,680 But mainly keep contact. 172 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,280 OK. So now don't wind. That's good fish, Bob. 173 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,480 I'm on the reel! 174 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,240 Ooh-hoo-hoo. 175 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,920 Hee-hee-hee! 176 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,440 Right, you can wind a little bit. Go on. 177 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,480 Have you got the net? Yeah. 178 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,640 I haven't even seen it yet, Bob, have you? 179 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:32,160 No. It's too big to see! 180 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:32,160 LAUGHS 181 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,840 It's a massive trout! All right. 182 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,480 Oh, please don't go. 183 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,840 Come on. Come on, come on. 184 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,000 We've got to get this fish, come on. 185 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:48,600 Oh, yes! Boom! Boom! Ha-ha! Look at the size of him! 186 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,120 Wow! 187 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,280 That's a lovely sea trout, Bob. 188 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,000 Look at it. Look at him. 189 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,840 I think we're talking records here, Paul. 190 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,960 I'm going to get onto the mayor. Oh, we're going to get him back. 191 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,800 Yeah. What a magnificent fish. 192 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,040 Well done, Bob! 193 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,360 Hold him till he's ready. 194 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,640 I think he'll be gone soon, but... 195 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,360 And away! 196 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,320 Not going to get better than that, Paul. No, it ain't, Bob. 197 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,080 Let's go to the accommodation. OK. 198 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,960 Our first Christmas accommodation. Fair play. Fair play. 199 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,400 Thank you for that, sir. Well done, mate. 200 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,960 I don't know if I can move really, but... 201 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,360 Oh, there's a big lump here and I don't mean me. 202 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:24,840 Hey... 203 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:25,880 Right. 204 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,000 Oh, that sea trout, Paul. 205 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,920 Yeah. That's going to haunt you for years. 206 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,240 He tugged you, didn't he, hey? Blimey. 207 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,200 You're never going to let it lie, are you? 208 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,480 Never. No. 209 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,000 I thought for Christmas I'd bring you somewhere 210 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:55,400 so special it would rip your heart out of your body, cleanse it 211 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,160 and return it fully functioning. Cor! Well, let's hope so. 212 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,320 It doesn't half need a bit of an upgrade, Bob, really. 213 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,880 Cos this place is gorgeous. 214 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,680 Is that the sea? 215 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:08,440 And to your right here, Camel Quarry House. 216 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,280 Oh! Look at that! 217 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,680 Well, thank you, Bob. 218 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,120 Our best yet. 219 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,200 It's a beauty. Could be! 220 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,760 Cornish beauty, come on. 221 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,560 BOTH: Whoa! 222 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,960 Telly, tick, come on, see the bedrooms. 223 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,280 Go on them, up you go, you spritely old fella. 224 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,960 I'm going to take a chance on a...left. 225 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,080 Oh, this one is very me, Paul. 226 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,160 I've chosen. 227 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,160 But I'll join you on your quest. Come on. 228 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,440 Yes! 229 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,160 Oh, I've made a terrible mistake, Paul. You have, Bob. 230 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,600 Feel free to enjoy the view for about eight seconds. 231 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,760 Eight seconds is not enough. 232 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,760 THEY LAUGH 233 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,280 Come on, Bob you've seen enough. 234 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,960 You've got the best room! Come on, come on, out! 235 00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,880 Upstairs. OK. 236 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,400 Ooh... 237 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,080 BOTH: Whoa! 238 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:05,920 Boom! 239 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,200 Yeah, boom, bang a-bang, boom. 240 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,760 Isn't that something? Wow! 241 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,560 I feel like we've arrived. 242 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,840 Because that is Cornwall. 243 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,440 That's the Camel Estuary. Yeah, at its most beautiful. 244 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,840 Writ large, ain't it? 245 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:24,080 Got a special guest coming soon, any minute now, in fact. 246 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,920 So behave yourself. Can you get rid of your windy pops now? 247 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:46,040 Do you like the look of this, Paul? Char-cute-tree is what they call it. 248 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,200 Charcuterie, oh, I get it. Charcuterie. 249 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,560 That's Ted's dog biscuits and a bit of cheese. 250 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,080 Oh, right. Did he do that? 251 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,840 Absolutely, yeah. 252 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,840 # My Lord is my shepherd 253 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,760 # I shall not want 254 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:03,280 # He maketh me to lie down... # 255 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,360 Ching-ching-ching! Oh, who could it be? 256 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,280 Ching-ching-ching! 257 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,800 Here comes Christmas! 258 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,520 Oh, thank you for coming. 259 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,600 Noddy Holder! 260 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,840 Hello. Hello! Hello, love. 261 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,320 Hi, there. How are you? Yeah, I'm all right, darling. 262 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,600 Could you come on that side actually, at the same time? 263 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,560 I just want to be in a sort of sandwich. 264 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:24,040 Oh, that's lovely. 265 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,560 A couple of chunks, you are. Hunky chunks. 266 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:29,280 What have you brought? Do you want to see what this is? Go on, then. 267 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,960 My husband has made you this. 268 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,440 It's a cake. Yes. 269 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,720 It's a fruit cake - sultana and cherries with icing on the top, 270 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,920 because what he knows about you two... 271 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,400 I mean he likes you, but I like you more. 272 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:47,800 He knows that both of you are on my "I'm allowed to" list. 273 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,320 No. You are kidding? Yeah. 274 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,800 Let's get to it. Come on! 275 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,360 But it is only if he's conked. 276 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,920 Oh, right, OK. And if you were both single, which you're not. 277 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,520 Yeah, so it's not going to happen. No, it's not, is it? No. 278 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,240 But you know... So we've got a cake in lieu, have we? 279 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,120 Yeah, you have. OK, fair play. 280 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,240 I'll bring this over. Right, come on. You coming, Ted? 281 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,200 So this is Cornwall, this is your parish? 282 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,840 Yeah, well, it's a tricky one for me, this, 283 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,040 because half of my family are from Devon. 284 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,120 Boo! Oh! And half are from Cornwall. 285 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,680 So... Boo! Oh, no, sorry, hooray! Hooray. 286 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,160 So I'm sort of dual heritage. 287 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,200 It's a bit War of the Roses kinda... 288 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,880 You're quite synonymous with Christmas. 289 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,240 Well, I suppose so. I suppose so. The three Christmas dinners. 290 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,400 Yeah, yeah. Cor! Did you actually really eat three Christmas dinners? 291 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,440 You know how they make telly. I ate one Brussels sprout... 292 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,040 You're joking me! ..in that whole thing. 293 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,880 You've broken his heart! Oh! What, it ain't real? 294 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,320 Dawn, will you ever do another Dibley, do you think? No? 295 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,680 There's... There's only one person left, Bob. 296 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,600 There's only James left out of the whole cast, imagine that. 297 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,800 That's what happens when you start a sitcom with older people. 298 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,160 Yeah. Bob gone fishing on his own. 299 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,240 Yeah. Laughing at my demise. No, not necessarily on your own, Bob. 300 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,960 I'm here. 301 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,160 I'm not great at Christmas, you know. 302 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,520 It's not that I don't like it. 303 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,240 I think as I've got older and I've lost people in my family, 304 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:21,120 I find Christmas when you're supposed to be jolly, too much. 305 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,080 Yeah. So I get a bit melancholy just before Christmas. 306 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,440 But then I... Every single Christmas, 307 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,680 there is a proper Christmas miracle 308 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,360 where I... And it might just be that I, you know, 309 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,160 get myself out of a grump because it's not fair on everybody else. 310 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,640 But I actually do cheer up by Christmas Day. 311 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:38,960 By Christmas Day. Oh, that's good. 312 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,680 But the week before I can have a bit of a slump. 313 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,600 I think the weird thing for me is that Christmas takes you back 314 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,360 to childhood and so I miss my mum and dad at Christmas. Yeah. 315 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,200 Can I offer you anything? Yeah, you can. 316 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,960 I'll have a bit of salami. 317 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,520 Do you know what? I'll move it over, Dawn. 318 00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:01,040 Thank you. Ted? Ted? Here, look, look what I've got. 319 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,280 Ted? Try this, Ted, look. 320 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,320 There we go. 321 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,040 Oh, the underbite's working hard on that! 322 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,880 Cornwall the most beautiful county, Dawn? 323 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,320 Oh, yes. 324 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,560 No question. 325 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:25,320 And can I just say - jam first always, no exceptions. 326 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,120 Just leave it at that. Well, I do agree. 327 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,640 I don't think you can consider cream a butter. 328 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,000 Correct, Bob. I'm not getting drawn in on this. 329 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,080 Cream is the crown. 330 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,400 Do you fancy staying for a game of Mouse Trap, Dawn? 331 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,440 Um, no. Come on Dawn, it's going to be great. 332 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,600 Do you fancy coming in a hot tub with us? 333 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:48,160 Um, I'd rather put my eyes out, if that's all right with you. 334 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,000 Fair enough. 335 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,000 THEY LAUGH 336 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,680 I sense where you're coming from. I mean that nicely. 337 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,720 I said, I said don't ask, Bob, didn't I? 338 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,480 THEY LAUGH 339 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,680 And you were right. You were right. 340 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,960 Did you have a nice sleep? Not bad, yeah. 341 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,080 We've got to get going. I know we have, we've got to fish. 342 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,400 Oh, I forgot, Paul. 343 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,880 What I should say is, I didn't forget, 344 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,200 but I've got the last three windows of my advent calendar to open. 345 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,360 Do you want to do one? You do today, I'll do tomorrow. 346 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,160 That's nice, isn't it, Bob? I like that. 347 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,800 It's a good one, isn't it? Yeah. 348 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,680 Good things in it? Great things. 349 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,720 Mainly chocolates, but little bits of fun jewellery. 350 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,520 Oh, trinkets. Trinkets. 351 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:40,680 OK... 352 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,000 What'd you get? Little bit of breadstick. 353 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,240 Well, that's a bit unlucky, isn't it? 354 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,160 This is a trick, isn't it? No, it's not. 355 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,520 You've enjoyed it, haven't you, your little breadstick boy? 356 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,480 I do like a breadstick, yeah. 357 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,000 We've got to get going, that is 358 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,840 the estuary of the river we're fishing today, the River Camel. 359 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,360 Yeah, we're fishing upstream. Mm. 360 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:04,560 I'll be able to go all day after this breadstick, won't I? 361 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,560 Don't worry, I've got some stuff to take. 362 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,760 Howay, lad. 363 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,480 It was a treat seeing Dawn last night, weren't it? 364 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,000 It was lovely. She's a very positive presence, isn't she? Yes. 365 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,280 Yeah, she is, yeah. 366 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,520 Big, big day though, Paul, isn't it? The award ceremony. 367 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,760 Oh... Big, big day. 368 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,600 Who's hosting this year? Do you know? 369 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,400 I think I'll host it this year. 370 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,280 Oh, what a surprise. 371 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,920 That means we couldn't get anyone, doesn't it? 372 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,440 THEY LAUGH 373 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,480 Here we are. 374 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,880 Lovely, isn't it? This is the Camel Valley, Bob, the River Camel. 375 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,480 Right. In Tresarrett, we are. 376 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,000 And on the menu today... Yeah. 377 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,680 ..tra-ah-t. Tra-ah-t. Sea trout. 378 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,120 Sea trout as well? Yeah, possibly salmon. 379 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:56,160 Lovely. 380 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,800 # It's coming on Christmas 381 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,520 # They're cutting down trees 382 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,920 # They're putting up reindeer 383 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,000 # And singing songs of joy and peace 384 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,040 # I wish I had a river 385 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:21,120 # I could skate away on 386 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,520 # But it don't snow here 387 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,360 # It stays pretty green 388 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,200 # I'm gonna make a lot of money... # 389 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,160 What? Did you miss one? Yep. 390 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,280 Oh. 391 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,760 # I wish I had a river 392 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,160 # I could skate away on 393 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,800 # I wish I had a river so long... # 394 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,400 Oh, God, I missed him. 395 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,440 Oh, man! 396 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:54,240 # I would teach my feet to fly... # 397 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,120 Yes! 398 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,080 Hey, well done, Bob. 399 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,200 Little brownie. 400 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:05,600 Very nice! 401 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,960 And away! 402 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:13,040 Hurray. Oh, it was an incredible bit of fishing, Paul. 403 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,520 Yeah, I'm sure it was, Bob. 404 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,840 If you did it, I'm sure it was superlative. 405 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,000 Good stuff. 406 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,480 TED SNORES 407 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,920 I would say, Paul, that was maybe my most enjoyable bit of fishing 408 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,160 I've ever done. Really? It was fantastic, yeah. 409 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,440 Oh, brilliant. 410 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,560 I don't know, just something about the flow of the river and the light. 411 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,000 The light is incredible here, isn't it? 412 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,640 You look so sexy in those glasses, Paul. 413 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,960 PAUL LAUGHS 414 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,040 Honestly, you look nothing like Ant Man... 415 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,920 Shut up. ..or some sort of insect. 416 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,160 I do look like a wasp or something, don't I? 417 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,640 You do, yeah, you're a very waspy character actually. 418 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:05,400 Oh, blimey, Ted. What are we going to do with him? 419 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,480 Ted isn't in great nick. No, all right Bob. 420 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,160 quiet, he's in earshot, ain't he? 421 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,520 Mind you, he's quite deaf now. Yeah. 422 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,960 But he doesn't look very well, does he? 423 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,960 But he does seem happy. 424 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,800 He does actually. He does seem happy. 425 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,080 Well, I'd say content. Content. 426 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:28,120 When my son went to see grandad in hospital, afterwards, 427 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,120 he said to me he was glad he had, because he said, 428 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:35,720 "I've got to get used to loss, you know." Oh, wow. 429 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,800 When he was a really young boy, 430 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,640 I suddenly one day I walked up the stairs and there was a window there. 431 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,960 And he'd put... He'd stuck little letters up saying, 432 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,280 "Tina, see you in the future." 433 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,000 And it was our little cat Tina had died. Oh, wow! 434 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,720 And I know he was really affected by it. Right. 435 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,720 And it's tough when you... It's tough when a pet dies. 436 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,160 It's really tough. 437 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,200 Because like as your friendships come and go, you know, 438 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,360 or you've failed to maintain them or you do, 439 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,640 but your friendship with your pet is so pure, do you know what I mean? 440 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,880 Oh, no, and that's a very valid point. 441 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,600 It's the devotion that they show you don't 442 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,000 get from any other living creature really, do you? 443 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,560 Heartbreaking. Mm. 444 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,440 It is brilliant to have a friend like you, you know, Paul. 445 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,480 Don't have a go at me for saying it. It's amazing. 446 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,320 Ant man, wasp face, wizened little walnut... 447 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,320 Yeah, but... Yeah? 448 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,480 That's because you like me, that you allow me to do it. 449 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,880 I can take it, Bob. Really, I really can take it. 450 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,440 Don't worry about it. Imagine a world without friendship 451 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,400 cos a lot of people live in that world, Paul. 452 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,000 Well, yeah, that's true, Bobby. 453 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,920 I'm just hanging on to it with you. 454 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,480 You are. Fingernails, isn't it? 455 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,000 Well, thanks for that, Bob, and I feel the same, you know that. 456 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,280 Don't you? You do know that, don't you, Bob? 457 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,240 I do, we only come out to see each other, really. Yeah. 458 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,760 Hey, Teddy. 459 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,480 Dr Anand's coming today. 460 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,480 Oh, right, he's here, is he? Yeah. Oh, OK. 461 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,080 Don't you tell Anand I've been having salami. 462 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,160 Oh, he won't like that, will he? 463 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,080 Well, I've just had a chocolate biscuit, 464 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,520 that's probably not much good either. 465 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,560 You're going to mention it, aren't you? No, I'm not. 466 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,040 We'll see. Let's see how it all plays out, Bob. 467 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,320 I know what you're like, so... 468 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,440 You think the first thing I'm going to say to Anand 469 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,240 is "Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit. 470 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,840 "Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit." And it's not. 471 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,800 The first thing I'll say is, "Do you know what Paul's done?" 472 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:50,600 "Only gone and had a chocolate biscuit, ain't he?" 473 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,800 Anando's nice, he'd say, 'Oh, that's fine'. 474 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,440 A Nando's? 475 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,440 BOB LAUGHS 476 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,600 Chicken on prescription. I really haven't had a Nando's, Anand. 477 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,920 Chickens and prescriptions! 478 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,000 Anand! I'm following Ted in. 479 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,240 Look! Ted's leading the way. Oh, easy! 480 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,640 Gone Fishing Doctor! Lovely to see you. 481 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,800 Lovely to be seen. I don't want to trip over Ted. 482 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,440 I don't want to trip over Ted. 483 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:27,400 You look like one of the prettiest gnomes I've ever seen, 484 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,080 don't you think? 485 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,000 Thanks! A wood nymph. 486 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,560 I'll take that in whatever spirit... All day long, yeah. 487 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,760 Yeah. So, Anand, the first thing I wanted to ask genuinely is... 488 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:43,760 Sure. ..is just earlier today Paul had two chocolate biscuits 489 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,760 and some cake. 490 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,880 Right, first of all, it was one chocolate biscuit 491 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,040 and I just had a little... The cherry out of the cake. 492 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,600 That's all I nibbled, right? He had cake and salami. 493 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,560 I'm not here to police you. 494 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,680 Well, we wish you would. 495 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,280 People don't like being nagged. 496 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,160 No. So what I'm here to do is I'm here to steer you 497 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,200 hopefully in a direction. 498 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,920 And if you want to take my advice, take my advice. 499 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,560 If you don't want to, that's absolutely fine. 500 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,720 But equally, you know, we've all got to make our choices 501 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,080 and deal with the consequence. It is a bit of compromise, isn't it? 502 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,000 I was always told if 80% of your diet is good you're 503 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,440 allowed 20% to do you know, indulge yourself... 504 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,200 See, I tell myself 70-30... Well, there we are. 505 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,680 I'm coming... I'm coming over to your way. 506 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,720 Just some general things that have interested me recently, Anand, 507 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,880 was a lot of people around me are taking vitamin supplements. 508 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,920 Yes. All sorts of supplements. 509 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,200 Somehow, I don't believe that that pill or liquid is 510 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,720 the same as a leaf of spinach or a bit... I don't think it is. 511 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,040 I don't think it is, Bob. 512 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,640 So you're absolutely right, supplements are brilliant, 513 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,600 if you've got a deficient diet. 514 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,840 The supplements you need 515 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,520 need to be tailored to your age range 516 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,720 and they need to be tailored to whatever disease 517 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,840 or whatever is going on. 518 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,280 Or your diet, for example. 519 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,200 If you're vegetarian or vegan, you might lack protein, 520 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,160 you might lack calcium if you don't eat dairy. 521 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,800 So it's kind of like, well, what do we need? 522 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,960 And if you're a 70 kilo, 65-year-old, 523 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,280 you need to be taking 70 to 80 grams of protein per day. 524 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,760 You should be getting some of that from, if you eat meat, 525 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,720 from meat, a bit of oily fish, from lentils, pulses... 526 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,800 Eggs. ..eggs, cheese. All those sources are good sources of protein. 527 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,880 And why particularly for older people? 528 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,040 So as you get older, your ability to hold on to muscle gets less. 529 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,320 So you get something what's called sarcopenia, 530 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,240 where literally your muscles start to dissolve away as you get older. 531 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,080 And having poorer muscle strength, 532 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,760 which we're going to test in a bit, is linked to living longer. 533 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,640 So actually if your muscle strength is poorer, 534 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,200 you actually become frail. 535 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,680 And frailty is basically a condition where any small change 536 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,880 to your health could knock you over into losing independent living. 537 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:43,080 So that could be like, you know, 538 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,560 you can't live in your own home any more. You can't do stairs. 539 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,520 So I've got a little testing thing here. Right. 540 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,520 We're just going to use your grip strength. 541 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,240 And they did a study of a 150,000 people 542 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,480 and they found that your grip strength is a better 543 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,440 marker of your long-term health than your blood pressure. 544 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,880 Really? So that's why I brought it today, just to see, 545 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,440 because it's such an easy thing to do. 546 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,680 You can get these online so easily. I'm excited. 547 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,280 Do you want to have a go? Yeah! 548 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,680 Marvellous. OK, so the idea is that you hold 549 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,800 it like that at right angles. Right. 550 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,360 OK. And what you're doing 551 00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:14,120 is squeezing as hard as you can when I say now. 552 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:17,800 Ready? And on three. One, two, three, go. 553 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,920 Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze... Oh, that hurts! 554 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,320 Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Good man. 555 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,600 28.2. 556 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,440 Oh! That's the bad one! 557 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,280 Obviously, this is not necessarily the perfect test, 558 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,480 if you've got hand arthritis, but 28.2... 559 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,920 What that means is that you have a level of sort of hand strength and 560 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,200 fitness that is above the minimum level, which is really important. 561 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,920 The minimum level for men is kind of about 25 kilogrammes, 562 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,240 and it's 18 for women. If yours is below that, 563 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,120 you're actually really at high risk of having low muscle mass. 564 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:49,720 You're more likely to fall over, more likely to break your hip, 565 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,760 more likely to lose your mobility, and more likely to end up in a home. 566 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,880 I'm worried now. You're going to smash me to pieces on this. 567 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,800 Right, so squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, 568 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,760 squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, done. 569 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,840 43! 43! 570 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,640 jeez, I'll never hear the end of it. 571 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,720 Can I just say... can I just say, that is 572 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,840 the sign of a healthy level of muscle at your age? 573 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:16,240 What! That's fantastic. Oh, please! That's amazing. 574 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,520 15 seconds ago, I thought I'm heading to a care home. 575 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:23,880 No, mate, no. Now I'm striding past it, saying, "Hello, Paul!" 576 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,440 Hey, Anand, would you have a bit of mulled wine? 577 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,880 I'd love a bit of mulled wine. Thank you. I made this myself on my farm. 578 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,800 TED VOICE: No, you didn't. Correct. 579 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,920 THEY LAUGH 580 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,480 Well, thank you so much for coming, Anand... 581 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,760 Merry Christmas. ..for our bankside consultations. 582 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,000 They're a... They're a joy. Mm-hm. 583 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,960 THEY LAUGH 584 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,640 Look how pleased you are! 585 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,640 WISTFUL PIANO VERSION OF "DING DONG MERRILY ON HIGH" 586 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,760 There's a kind of musty smell around. 587 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,440 I think it's... I can only imagine it's you, Bob. 588 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,440 Be slightly more... What do you mean? Is it biscuity? 589 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,160 Sort of biscuit, Oxo cube and old man. 590 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,080 Yeah. Well, I had biscuit, I had an Oxo cube and biscuits 591 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,880 and I'm an old man. You're an old man. 592 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,840 Well, there we are, got it spot on then! 593 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:27,080 Let's have a smell of you. Go on, then. What do you reckon? 594 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,440 I don't know, have you been eating eggs? 595 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,880 Oh, no, that that's probably trapped wind in my waders, ain't it? 596 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,640 Oh, great. Yeah. 597 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:40,320 I'm going to have to go off and get the awards ceremony ready. 598 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,480 OK. 599 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,400 Be smart though, Paul. 600 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,080 Yeah? Be respectful. What, for the awards? 601 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,680 Yeah, and be respectful of the occasion. 602 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,960 I've arranged transport for you. Don't you worry. 603 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,160 Well, will the occasion respect me? Of course it will... 604 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:57,400 ..Ish. Yeah. See you at the awards, Paul. 605 00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:58,560 I cannot wait. 606 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,880 We should have an award for wrist strength. 607 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,400 # The hopes we had 608 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,800 # Were much too high 609 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,480 # Way out of reach 610 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,280 # But we have to try 611 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:17,560 # The game will never be over 612 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:22,600 # Because we're keeping the dream alive... # 613 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,240 KNOCKS AT DOOR 614 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,360 Heya, there. Hello, mate. How are you? 615 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,040 Lovely to see you. You OK? Lovely to see you. 616 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,600 I'm fine. Welcome. Thanks for having us, Paul. 617 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,360 I was actually looking for Rick Stein's place. 618 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,280 Yeah, just down there. 619 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,640 But listen, I am absolutely honoured that you've chosen us 620 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,320 for these prestigious awards. Prestigious awards. 621 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,600 Aren't they? Yeah, yeah, they are. So come on in. 622 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,640 Thank you. 623 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,600 A Cornish Christmas dinner, that's what we're looking for. 624 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,120 Yeah, well, this is a Cornish Christmas dinner with 625 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,880 a difference cos we're going to replace what people would 626 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:06,000 ordinarily probably have in, you know, turkey, hams, beef. 627 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:10,000 We're going to do a whole baked turbot, but with all the trimmings 628 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,600 and a lovely sort of turbot chicken gravy, 629 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,280 which you're going to help me to do. Wow. Yes, please. 630 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,400 I mean, I've got five Baftas. 631 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:27,680 Five! But nothing beats a Gone Fishing lifetime achievement award. 632 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:32,680 I'd just like to thank my family, but most of all, Ted, 633 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,200 for being such a stalwart companion. 634 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,080 TED VOICE: Grub up, will you? 635 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,840 With cooking, it always starts at the beginning, building up 636 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,520 those layers of flavour. Yeah. 637 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,160 So in here we've got some rosemary and thyme, all right? 638 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,080 So what we do is we just take some of that rosemary and thyme... 639 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,800 Yep. ..then rub it between our hands because what all herbs, 640 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,240 they contain essential oils. 641 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,240 So if you just grab a smell of that now... Lovely! 642 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,360 All right? Just get that into our garlic, our shallots. 643 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,240 It's beginning to smell like Christmas. 644 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,440 How much does a kitchen like this cost? 645 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,640 Half a million pounds. Ooh! 646 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,560 Yes. Sell some food then! 647 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,440 Yeah... Yeah. 648 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,840 Come on, Ted. 649 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,360 Come on, I can hardly contain myself. 650 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:16,640 I don't know about you. 651 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,680 TED VOICE: I come in my own time, son. 652 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:21,520 Afternoon, sir. 653 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,120 Can I come aboard? 654 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,560 Whoa, look at that fella! Look at that! 655 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,120 It's a beauty! Yes, it is. 656 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,360 So that's what a turbot looks like. Yeah, that's a turbot. 657 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,000 We regard this as king of the sea. Right. 658 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,200 It's just superior in flavour. 659 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,320 With it being Christmas, I've got a lovely Cornish sparkling 660 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,320 wine in with the onions. All right? 661 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,240 Lay the turbot on top and bake in the oven. 662 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,400 Right, let's do this. 663 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,680 Ain't that lovely, Ted? Look, there's Padstow over there. 664 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,000 That's where we're going. 665 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,360 Apparently, that's where the big ceremony is. 666 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:09,720 Ha-hey! 667 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,200 Good boy. There's a good boy. 668 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,080 You know I'm up for the next James Bond, don't you? 669 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,920 TED VOICE: Ha! Oh, do me a favour. Ha-ha-ha! 670 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,400 Cut a dash, didn't I, mate, eh? 671 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,760 Ted, you're deaf as a post, ain't you? TED VOICE: Pardon? 672 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:37,880 Right, let's get these cabbages on. 673 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,120 So we're just going to brush them with a little bit of butter. 674 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,960 Right. And then I want you to put them that side down on the barbecue. 675 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:48,160 Perfect. And we've just lightly steamed these cabbages... 676 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:49,720 Right. ..so that they're nice and cooked 677 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,200 and we just get flavour from the barbecue. 678 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,200 That's beautiful. Yes, now we're cooking. 679 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,480 Come, Ted. 680 00:33:58,480 --> 00:33:59,920 Come on. Oh, there he is! 681 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:01,160 This is the place. 682 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,520 Little old man. I tell you what, you know, 683 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,680 dogs aren't normally allowed in here, come on. 684 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,800 TED VOICE: I'm allowed anywhere I want, mate. 685 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,400 I'll go anywhere I like, South London, East London, 686 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,200 South of France, Croatia, Venezuela. 687 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:19,240 WISTFUL PIANO VERSION OF "ONCE IN ROYAL DAVID'S CITY" 688 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,160 Fly. 689 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,760 Ladybird. Mm. 690 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,000 Good evening, sir. 691 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,480 Hello. What do you want? 692 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,520 Well, could I look at the menu or see the wine list? 693 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,840 Would you like to see the wine list? 694 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,840 Yeah, I would. Thank you. There you go. 695 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,880 Actually, we don't serve wine to the over-80s. 696 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,640 It can put them into shock. 697 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:47,960 Are you a halfwit or something? 698 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,640 Some people say so. 699 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,160 I'm not surprised. 700 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,960 Will you be requiring the entertainment tonight, sir? 701 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,680 Oh, well, yeah... I see you've got a hound with you, no hounds. 702 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,440 Yeah, no, he's got a special dispensation. 703 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,400 He's not any old hound. Who is he then? 704 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,560 It's, uh... It's Ted. Ted the dog? 705 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,520 Yeah. He's actually sort of guest of Bob Mortimer's. 706 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:13,960 Who did you say?! 707 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,920 You're so easy, aren't you? 708 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,840 Bob Mortimer? It's you, isn't it? It's you. Yeah! 709 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,720 You can see a wine list. Yeah, thank you, sir. 710 00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,360 There you go. Thank you very much. 711 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:28,200 I've been preparing... I'm going to call it a Cornish Christmas dinner. 712 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,240 Not what you might expect. 713 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:33,000 Really? Have you been helping in the kitchen? I've been helping. 714 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,280 Have you? Cos I heard the fire alarm go off. 715 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,480 Yeah. What did you do? I was burning cabbage. 716 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,840 Oh, really? 717 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,160 Oh, that will do it then. 718 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:45,800 I'm looking forward to this. 719 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,200 It's on its way, it looks amazing. 720 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,640 Cheers! 721 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,680 Oh, it didn't clink. That's fancy glasses. 722 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:54,840 Isn't it? Wow! 723 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,480 Cor! Look at that. 724 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,760 Wow! Thank you so much. Roast turbot with all the trimmings. 725 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:03,800 Roast turbot! 726 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,000 And there you have it. 727 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,080 Enjoy! 728 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:08,920 Thank you. And thank you for your help, Bob. 729 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,840 Thanks, no worries. Thank you, Paul. 730 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,520 Bob, I'm going in. Come on. 731 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,720 Turbot is amazing. 732 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:18,120 You really do spoil me, Bob. 733 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,960 Well, Work dos come along once a year. 734 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:24,040 We might as well make the most of it, Paul. 735 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,640 How many categories are there this year? Two. 736 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,000 So it will be quick, yeah? 737 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,320 AWARD SHOW-STYLE MUSIC 738 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:36,720 # There will be laughter and prizes galore! 739 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,880 # Who's gonna miss and who's gonna score? 740 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,920 # It's the Gone Fishing annual... 741 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,720 BOTH: # Awards! # 742 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:55,840 Who loves you, baby? First up, Paul, Employee of the Year. 743 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,920 This is the trophy you won last year. 744 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,960 So it has to be returned, I'm afraid. 745 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,680 Oh, no. 746 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,240 I don't really want to give it back, Bob, 747 00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:06,720 it's become such a part of my life but... Here we go. 748 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:08,720 Nominations are... 749 00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:10,120 Let's see. 750 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,800 Woo, woo, woo! Yeah! Let's fish! Oh! 751 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,640 Oh! You got me, Bob. Well, why were you stood there? 752 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,880 Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob! Yes, I know! 753 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,560 In then, without knowing. That's angling, Paul. 754 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,000 Do you like watching me fish? Sort of... You can learn, can't you? 755 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:33,360 Yes, he's in! Do not wind, do not wind, Bob! 756 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,960 I'm not winding, I'm just tidying up the reel! 757 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,360 There's my dancing, that's specialist stuff that. 758 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,120 Wallop! Yes! Wow, he's fresh. 759 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:43,640 Look at the colours of that. 760 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,160 BOTH: Whoa! 761 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,160 Ted's arriving in style, ain't it? 762 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,600 It's going to be Ted, isn't it? Of course it's going to be Ted. 763 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:53,360 TED VOICE: I come in my own time, all right? You look so heroic. 764 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,960 Oh, look at that guy! Wahey! Ah! 765 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,840 BLEEP 766 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,840 Oh, there's a fall. 767 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,560 Oh, and there's another. 768 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,880 TED VOICE: What's that? Salmon, is it? It's not for you, Ted. 769 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,720 TED VOICE: Yeah, but it is. 770 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:09,640 Oh, please yourselves! Cor, ain't we had some laughs? 771 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,840 Haven't we had some laughs? Oh... 772 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,240 This is the moment. 773 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:15,320 Yeah? 774 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,080 Go on. Tee-hee... 775 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:19,800 And the winner is... 776 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,360 ..Bob Mortimer. 777 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,640 No! 778 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,160 Yes, please. 779 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,080 Wow! It's a revelation. 780 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,760 Oh, come on, Paul. Oh, no, I'm so... 781 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,760 It's well deserved. So pleased for you, Bob. 782 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,920 And there's a trophy as well. Oh, for God's sake. 783 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,880 It's actually a crown. 784 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,200 Ha-ha-ha. 785 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,440 Oh, that feels like good. Hey, there we are! 786 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,040 Did one of them jewels just fall off? 787 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,280 Yeah, it did. 788 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,320 Heavy is the head that wears the crown in your case, isn't it? 789 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,160 Size of it. Employee of the Year. Your head, I mean. 790 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,520 Paul... Well, there we are, there's one category down. 791 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,880 Let's not prolong the agony, let's crack on, shall we? 792 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,360 I'll take this off out of respect for the award, OK? 793 00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,920 OK, thank you. 794 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:03,200 Because the next award is... This is a biggie, 795 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,960 Lifetime Achievement. 796 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,120 If you've given it to yourself, I'm walking out of this restaurant... 797 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:09,680 Oh, don't walk out... ..and I'm never looking back. 798 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:10,840 Oh, don't walk out, Paul. 799 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,040 I'm going to, Bob, if you've given it to yourself. 800 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:14,080 Let's have a look. 801 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,600 Well, let's have a look at it then. Let's have a look. 802 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,760 Ted. Cute little Billy. 803 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,000 TED VOICE: Billy? I dropped that name years ago, son. 804 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,040 You coming fishing with us, Ted? 805 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,240 Teddy! 806 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:28,600 Mind the rod! Honestly he's worse than me, isn't he? 807 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,520 Can you shift over a bit, Ted? What's he actually achieved? 808 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,840 Well he's had a life time, ain't he? Yeah, I suppose. 809 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,600 Teddy! Fetch! Woo! Go on! 810 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,360 TED VOICE: Nah. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Is Ted a dog? 811 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,800 He's a species all of his own, ain't you, Ted? 812 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,600 You all right, Ted? 813 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,920 It's like we've superglued him there, ain't it? 814 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,880 Look! You can move, Ted. 815 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,040 Yeah, it's Ted, ain't it? Well, yes... 816 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,120 You're not going to come across sort of blindsided and win, are you? 817 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,880 Well, I don't think so. I haven't opened the envelope yet. 818 00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,120 Look at the state of him! 819 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,960 And that's when he went insane. 820 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,440 Remember, you have always got us two. 821 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,440 That's right, Ted. You got us. 822 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,520 Well, let's just confirm it, Paul. 823 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,440 The winner is...Ted. 824 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,240 Well deserved, Ted. 825 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:15,680 Absolutely. 826 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,280 If ever there was a winner there was, then Ted's the winner 827 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,680 that wizard that was, yeah. Teddy, you got a crown. 828 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:21,720 Wow. 829 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,920 Let's present ourselves to the camera, Ted. 830 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,160 Kings of the show. 831 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,480 # We are the champions, my friend... # 832 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,360 There is someone else on the show, isn't there, Ted? 833 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,960 TED VOICE: Yeah, I dunno. He's just sort of a shadow. 834 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:43,480 Oh, don't go, Paul. You might win next year. 835 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,440 Tee-hee-hee! 836 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,040 He's off! 837 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,960 # We are the champions 838 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,520 # No time for losers 839 00:40:55,520 --> 00:41:00,360 # Cos we are the champions 840 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,560 # Of the world. # 841 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,920 Come on, Ted. That's one of Paul's. Leave it alone. 842 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:06,960 Come on. 843 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,760 Breakfast, Paul! 844 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,440 I put a little bit of holly on yours, cheer you up, 845 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:35,840 after last night. 846 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,720 You're not bitter, are you, Paul? Forgotten all that? 847 00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:41,200 I'm an adult, Bob, so, no, I'm not bitter. 848 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,240 It's it just reflects badly on you, you know. 849 00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:46,640 We've got a long drive today, we're going west, west, west, west, west. 850 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,640 Where we going? Mouse-hole. 851 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,280 But do you know what they call it? The Cornish people? 852 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,400 It will be Muzzle or something. Not far off actually, Mowzle. 853 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:58,320 Mowzle. Mousehole, but for you and me it will forever be... 854 00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,640 GEORDIE ACCENT: Mouse-HOLE. 855 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,960 Aye, pet. Right, come on. 856 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,160 # If I had a deep voice, I would... 857 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,360 # Sing a dingle dingle dingle bingo dingle! 858 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,480 # All day long I'd sing a ling a ling 859 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,200 # If I had a very deep voice... 860 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,240 # If I had a high voice 861 00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:30,280 # I would yodel lo lo lo! # 862 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,560 THEY LAUGH 863 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,480 We're going to pass by a place called St Michael's Mount. 864 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:42,000 Oh, right. You know one of them islands off the sea. Oh, yeah. 865 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:43,680 Shall we stop? Give Ted a walk. 866 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,040 I'm in, I'm seizing up here, aren't you? 867 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,880 I wouldn't mind a leg stretch, Bob. 868 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,080 Come on, Teddy, go. Let's go! 869 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,520 Come on, Ted! Come on, Ted! 870 00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:10,040 # Bah humbug, that's too strong 871 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:11,920 # Cos it is my favourite holiday 872 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,960 # But all this year's been a busy blur 873 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:15,480 # Don't think I have the energy 874 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,640 # To add to my already mad rush 875 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,680 # Just cos it 'tis the season 876 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,040 # The perfect for me would be 877 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:25,280 # Completions and connections left from last year... # 878 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,880 There's your first little look at Mousehole. 879 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,760 Oh, look. Quintessentially Cornish. 880 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,800 Cor, it wasn't designed for the car, was it, Bob? 881 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:39,560 Getting on everyone's nerves 882 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,400 and we're trying to enjoy this peaceful town. 883 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,040 I know! Oh, look at those boats as well, aren't they lovely? 884 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,920 I love a painted boat, don't you, Bob? 885 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,520 Yeah, sweet. See that look that light blue, that's a nice one. 886 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,920 You know in, uh... Oh, that's a nice one, look, the black and yellow. 887 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:56,880 Don't like that one. 888 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,000 Taking me out on a boat, aren't you? I am. 889 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,640 Last chance to catch a fish. 890 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,000 Come on, Teddy. 891 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,080 Wow! 892 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,400 What a morning, eh, Bob? What a morning. 893 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,840 Now, the guy we're going out with today on the boat, Neil, 894 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,200 he's got a very special relationship with Mousehole. 895 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,760 He's a Mousehole boy, but his dad was on the boat that went out, 896 00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:23,320 1981, Penlee disaster, where all the lifeboat men were lost at sea. 897 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:24,960 Blimey, I have heard of that. 898 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,800 And the boat they went to rescue as well went down. 899 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,960 So proper tragedy. He'll have a tale to tell, then. 900 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,240 He certainly will, mate. 901 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,080 Neil! 902 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:41,520 Hello, Neil! Morning, gentlemen. 903 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,720 Thank you so much, Neil, for having us on board. 904 00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,960 Paul. I can't remember his name. 905 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,280 THEY LAUGH 906 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:50,640 What's our chances today, Neil? 907 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,200 It's fishing guys, you know that. 908 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,000 It's not called catchers fishing, but we got a good 909 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,440 chance of catching a mackerel or two and maybe a pollock or two. 910 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,000 We'll see what we can do. 911 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,080 You've got an involvement with the Penlee disaster, haven't you? 912 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,600 Yeah, my father was lost on the Penlee lifeboat, 913 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,320 and I was turned away that night. 914 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,840 I was a lifeboat man, I was only 17. 915 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,560 But like everyone, every man, when I was 17, I knew everything. 916 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,000 Yeah, yeah. Like Bob. You've got to remember 917 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,120 I've been playing around in boats 918 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:16,120 since I was four or five years old. That's all I've ever done. 919 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,680 Trevelyan Coxswain refused to take me. 920 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,200 He refused to take two from one family, so I was turned away. 921 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,280 Wow. And your dad was lost? My dad was lost, yeah. 922 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:24,360 I mean, never forget them. 923 00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:25,920 I'm fiercely proud of what they did that night. 924 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:26,960 Of course, of course. 925 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,960 I mean, the weather conditions was the worst in living memory. 926 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,240 I've never seen weather like that. How old was your dad, Neil? 927 00:45:32,240 --> 00:45:34,920 My dad was 42. Wow! Blimey! 928 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,520 Of course all of them, they're all family, friends, they're all mates. 929 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,320 Of course, it's such a small community 930 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,280 and tight obviously has to be, doesn't it? 931 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,360 It completely changed Mousehole forever. 932 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,320 Mousehole never recovered from that. No... 933 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,040 Do you do anything to sort of celebrate 934 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,200 the memory of those people? 935 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,680 On the 19th, we have the famous Christmas lights 936 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:53,600 and they're dimmed and we have our own memories 937 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,920 and all you have your own like little, you know... Yeah. 938 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,480 Let's fish today in memory of your dad. Yeah. 939 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,240 See if we can get something for him. 940 00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:20,880 Over there, Bob, look. 941 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,080 You see that cross and that thing? That's a... Oh, yeah. 942 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,160 That's a memorial light to the Penlee victims. 943 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,200 Oh, right. 944 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,480 What we're doing, we're trying for a pollock 945 00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,120 and we've got some silver shrimp on. 946 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,320 I've hit the bottom, so I put that over now? 947 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:47,560 Yeah, slip that over and then just wind up a little bit. 948 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,560 And the idea is to wind up nice 949 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:51,880 and slowly to keep that keep that lure moving all the time. 950 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,600 I keep winding though, do I? Yeah. 951 00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,480 Couldn't have picked a better day for it. 952 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,480 Oh, we're lucky, aren't we? Lucky lads. 953 00:47:03,240 --> 00:47:04,680 Ted's loving it. 954 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,000 Aren't you mate, loving this? 955 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:07,720 He's having a good time, ain't he? 956 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,800 I'm searching for the bottom, Paul. Oh, I'm hitting the bottom there. 957 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,160 And I'm going to fish down there for a bit. Yeah. 958 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,640 It will be funny Christmas this year without grandad there. 959 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,040 Yeah, yeah. It will be strange. 960 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,560 You know, you hear that some older people who kinda know 961 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,200 they're on their last legs, want to get a last Christmas in. 962 00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:56,640 Yeah, that's exactly - 963 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,840 I'm pretty sure that's what happened with my parents. 964 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:00,200 They both died. Yeah. 965 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,080 On the same date. 966 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,000 I mean, years apart. 967 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,320 But January the 15th. Yeah. 968 00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:09,160 I mean, I don't know how sentient my mum was about, 969 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,240 or conscious of Christmas, 970 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:17,560 but it's a extraordinary coincidence that... 971 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,440 Cos that's supposed to be, isn't it, that time of year, isn't it? 972 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,080 Yeah. And I wonder if people have just managed to hold on. 973 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,360 Hold on. Have Christmas. 974 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,000 See the familiar faces one last time. 975 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,480 Yeah... 976 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,920 Well, we'll never know really, Bob, will we? 977 00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,680 My dear old dad always said to me, and I'll always try to 978 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,360 live my life like it, just be nice, it's all you've got to do. Yeah. 979 00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:41,160 Treat people as you want to be treated. 980 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:44,440 You can't go far wrong, I don't think. True, mate. 981 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:45,880 Paul treats me pretty bad. 982 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,840 Does he? I have seen that. 983 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,840 THEY CHUCKLE 984 00:48:49,720 --> 00:48:52,800 It's for his own good though, Neil. 985 00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,480 Keep him on his toes. Yeah. 986 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,120 Come on, you're not fishing very well. 987 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:02,560 Sort yourself out. 988 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,400 Come on, Bob. 989 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,760 The people of Mousehole depend on you. 990 00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:09,800 This could be our last chance, you know. I know. 991 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,920 Neil wants to get to the bookies. 992 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:16,320 Is there a bookies in Mousehole? 993 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,680 No. 994 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:22,240 Yeah, we had three grocery shops, a shoe shop, two butchers 995 00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:23,960 when I grew up. There's none any more. 996 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,160 No shoes? They're all gone. 997 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:27,920 Should we do an appeal, launch an appeal? 998 00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,680 Send shoes to Mousehole. Yeah! 999 00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,280 Hey-oh! Oh! He's in. 1000 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:45,560 That might be the bottom. 1001 00:49:48,240 --> 00:49:50,200 Come on. I don't know what it is. 1002 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:51,680 Shall I wind in or keep going? 1003 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:54,960 Couple of mackerel here, look. Have you got mackerel? 1004 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:56,560 Yeah. Well done, Paul. 1005 00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,480 Hold up, let's get that untwisted. Look! 1006 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:00,760 Mackerel! 1007 00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,800 Two mackerel, look at that! Fresh as paint, look at them. 1008 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,760 Oh, you mind your fingers. Wow! 1009 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:08,680 It's a very pretty fish, you know, Paul. 1010 00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,960 Let me take the rod for you. Yeah, you grab that. 1011 00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:15,920 Wow, look at it. Electric fish, isn't it? What a creature. 1012 00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:17,560 Amazing! 1013 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,400 That's what we come for and that is our first ever... 1014 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:21,920 Mackerel. 1015 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,240 Wow! Look at the sheen on it. 1016 00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:26,160 Took us seven or eight years. 1017 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,600 It's been brilliant, Neil. It's been lovely, what a glorious day. 1018 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,280 Oh, we've got our Christmas night to come, Paul. 1019 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,760 Oh-oh, what you got lined up for me, Bob? 1020 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,560 You'll have to wait and see. 1021 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,160 I will, won't I? Well...excited. 1022 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,160 # Maybe this Christmas 1023 00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,880 # Will mean something more 1024 00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,800 # Maybe this year 1025 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,400 # Love will appear 1026 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,000 # Deeper than ever before 1027 00:50:57,240 --> 00:50:58,840 # And maybe... # 1028 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,960 Wind yourself down here, Paul. 1029 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:06,640 Halt, because we are staying here! 1030 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,560 Lovely. Do you know what it is? No. Quaint. 1031 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,360 Quaint's a good description. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Quaint works. 1032 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,360 Come on, then. 1033 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,680 # Maybe this Christmas... # Whoo! Whoa! 1034 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,800 Christmas is here, Bob! 1035 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,840 Oh, lovely. That is just what I ordered. 1036 00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:26,960 Christmas vibe. 1037 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,680 Hello, Christmas! 1038 00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:29,720 Lovely. 1039 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,520 You manage those stairs, old timer? Yeah, not too bad. 1040 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,880 Oh, this is lovely, look at this! 1041 00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:40,120 Our little living room! Nice. Twin beds. 1042 00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:41,680 Have you brought your twins? 1043 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,080 Here, this is a nice one. Harbour view. 1044 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,600 Bob, look at this, look. Oh, eh up. 1045 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:51,360 Oh, yeah! Wow! 1046 00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,360 I look after you, I really look after you. 1047 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,800 You do, don't you, mate? 1048 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:56,400 Happy Christmas. 1049 00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,320 TED VOICE: Where's my briefcase? 1050 00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,400 I'll give you a clue, Ted. It's right there. 1051 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:01,440 Ha-ha-ha! 1052 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:02,480 There we go. 1053 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:11,000 It's Laurel and Hardy, isn't it? BOB LAUGHS 1054 00:52:18,240 --> 00:52:19,840 TED SNORES 1055 00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,680 Watch your ears, Ted. 1056 00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,120 CHAMPAGNE POPS 1057 00:52:29,720 --> 00:52:30,880 Nice. 1058 00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,200 A few more of these. 1059 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:34,600 Come on, old timer! 1060 00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,080 Ooh, look at this! 1061 00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,480 Cor... Who've you had in? Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen? 1062 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,600 No. It looks amazing, look at that. 1063 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:48,080 Cheers for a lovely Christmas trip. Is this Cornish champagne? Mm. 1064 00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:49,720 Mm. 1065 00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:51,920 I've got you a present, Paul. Have you? 1066 00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:53,840 Yup. Is that OK? 1067 00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:56,080 I think it is because I've got one for you. 1068 00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:57,120 Would you like it? 1069 00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,040 Yes, please. Do you think you deserve it? 1070 00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:03,000 Yes, I do. Even after all your gloating with your crowns 1071 00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:06,080 and your self-aggrandisation, you still think you deserve a present. 1072 00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:08,120 If you don't want to give it to us, don't. 1073 00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:11,840 Of course I do, Bob. Because I am give, give, give. 1074 00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:14,440 Ooh! 1075 00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:17,240 Go on, then. 1076 00:53:17,240 --> 00:53:18,560 Yep. 1077 00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:21,160 There it is. Oh, it's a clonker. 1078 00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:24,240 It is, isn't it? It suits me, it's gentlemanly. 1079 00:53:24,240 --> 00:53:29,040 And if you get annoyed with me, you can just go...like that. 1080 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:33,160 And if I've made a mistake in the bath, we can just quickly move it. 1081 00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:35,760 Scoop it up! Thank you very much. 1082 00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,560 I can tell this is actually rather beautiful, Paul. 1083 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,720 It is a cracker, isn't it? Walnut? 1084 00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:43,560 Yeah. No, do you want one? Just there on the plate. 1085 00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,400 Thank you very much. Oh, no, it's a beauty, isn't it? 1086 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:48,600 That makes me so happy. 1087 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,200 I mean, it is lovely, but mine's a better present. 1088 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:54,360 Happy Christmas. Competitive, Bob. Thank you, Bob. 1089 00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:56,120 I wonder what this is, Ted. You like it? 1090 00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:58,520 I hope you like it. Is it a picture of Bob in a crown? 1091 00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,040 It's a Gone Fishing calendar. 1092 00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:03,200 It's nice. 1093 00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,200 Do you see? I thought I'd make you look nice. 1094 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:08,560 I see. 1095 00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,160 Well, I look pretty good like that, don't I? 1096 00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,120 I look like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, don't I? 1097 00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:14,000 Just relaxing in front of some books. 1098 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,960 HE LAUGHS 1099 00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,480 There's a nice one of you, ain't it? 1100 00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:20,000 Ain't that nice of you and Ted? 1101 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,320 Oh, you look quite short there, don't you? 1102 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:30,000 I've got a tiny head. 1103 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:30,000 THEY LAUGH 1104 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,440 Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! Look at that. 1105 00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,520 Boom! 1106 00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,520 THEY LAUGH 1107 00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:37,800 That was... That's a bit rude boy mode there, wasn't it? 1108 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,520 Yeah, I thought you'd like that one. 1109 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,960 I tell you what, Bob, it's not far off, is it? 1110 00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:46,880 Well, thank you. What a treat. 1111 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,840 I should probably go and get our little meal. 1112 00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:52,680 Go on, then. We're going to have turkey and some cake. 1113 00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:55,680 Oh! It's a beauty, isn't it? 1114 00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:57,960 My favourite meal of the Christmas period. 1115 00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:05,040 Oh... Go on, slice me off some breast. 1116 00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:06,840 Beautiful. Nicely cooked. 1117 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,960 It is, isn't it? Look at that! Lovely, yeah. 1118 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:13,880 Ah! You cheeky fella! 1119 00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,720 It's actually a turkey cake. 1120 00:55:15,720 --> 00:55:18,680 It's a turkey cake. It's a turkey cake. 1121 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,080 Oh, lovely. Isn't that sensational? Am I going in? 1122 00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,520 Well done, Bob. A lovely bit of trickery there. 1123 00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:24,640 Christmas trickery. 1124 00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:25,880 Lovely, mate. 1125 00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,640 Cos you know Christmas is a time 1126 00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:30,920 when you can be a little bit naughty. Ted's awake! 1127 00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:32,480 You want a carrot? 1128 00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,000 TED VOICE: Go on. 1129 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,720 Oh, hold on minute. 1130 00:55:37,240 --> 00:55:39,080 Hold on! Wait a minute. Hold on! 1131 00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:42,560 Wait a minute, you two tricksters, what are you doing to me? 1132 00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:45,080 Well, bloody hell, that's the nicest carrot I've ever had. 1133 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,120 THEY LAUGH 1134 00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:57,720 Pretty well the end of our Cornish Christmas trip, Bob. 1135 00:55:57,720 --> 00:56:00,080 It is. How are you feeling about going home? 1136 00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:03,520 Cos it's going to be your first Christmas without grandad? 1137 00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:06,080 It will be different and we'll all miss him. 1138 00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,640 Yeah. And it will never be the same again. 1139 00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,400 No. But we'll pull a cracker on his anniversary. 1140 00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:13,160 Yeah, yeah. He liked a cracker. 1141 00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,360 Well, it's actually good to have very fond, 1142 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,120 positive memories of people, you know. 1143 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,880 I do with my parents. 1144 00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:24,360 My parents, your grandad, they had a long life, so... 1145 00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:25,720 They did have a long life. 1146 00:56:25,720 --> 00:56:28,520 And here's a nice thing is round our Christmas table 1147 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:32,360 when the boys were young and Grandad was sat there, 1148 00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:36,720 the little boys and grandad would always wear their paper hats. 1149 00:56:36,720 --> 00:56:40,200 Right. We were all too vain and full of ourselves. 1150 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:42,720 Yeah. But old grandad and the kids. 1151 00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:45,080 That's what grandad's for, really, isn't it? 1152 00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:46,400 Grandads are for wearing paper hats. 1153 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,960 "Sit there, be quiet, put the hat on, grandad." 1154 00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:54,920 # And carry them home, home, home from the sea 1155 00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:58,560 # Angel of mercy answer our plea... # 1156 00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:00,040 Can you hear that? 1157 00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,040 I can, yeah. 1158 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,800 Some singing? Yeah? 1159 00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:05,200 What have you done? 1160 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,760 Come with me to the window. 1161 00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:11,200 I'll bring my cake! For our final Christmas spectacular. 1162 00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:12,880 Come on. All right, mate. 1163 00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:18,800 # Joy, joy, joy, joy! 1164 00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:27,080 # Joy to the world... # The Mousehole Male Voice Choir. 1165 00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:31,200 # Let Earth receive her King... # 1166 00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,840 I love a male voice choir. I know you do. 1167 00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:38,480 I know you do. # Let ev'ry heart prepare him room 1168 00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:44,240 # Joy to the world, the Saviour reigns 1169 00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:49,440 # Our mortal songs employ.... # 1170 00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:51,360 Happy Christmas, Paul. Merry Christmas, Bob, mate. 1171 00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,760 Thanks, mate. What an amazing treat. 1172 00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:56,760 # Joy, joy... 1173 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,200 # Joy, joy! 1174 00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:02,200 HIGH NOTE: # Joy! # 1175 00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,480 LOW NOTE: # Joy! # 1176 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,840 Thank you! And Merry Christmas to you all. 1177 00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,360 Thank you very much. And away! 1178 00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:14,040 Cheers and gone! Cheers and gone! 1179 00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:16,600 THEY LAUGH 1180 00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,240 # There's no more little secrets 1181 00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,080 # We haven't yet disclosed 1182 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:25,000 # We bore the living daylights 1183 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,680 # Off anyone too close 1184 00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:30,720 # And all our cards at Christmas 1185 00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,120 # Are written to us both 1186 00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:39,040 # Count them up, who's got the most? 1187 00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:43,360 # Said we'd be close 1188 00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,920 # Said we'd work perfectly 1189 00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:51,240 # Said we'd toast beautiful company 1190 00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:58,040 # Closer than a sister to her baby brother 1191 00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:04,000 # Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother 1192 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:07,280 # It's too close for a lover 1193 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:10,080 # It's too close for a lover 1194 00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:13,000 # We are each other... #