1
00:00:08,394 --> 00:00:13,315
I don't know how Brother Kelvin does it.
My nerves are in knots right now.

2
00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:16,443
- I can handle it if you want me to.
- No.

3
00:00:16,818 --> 00:00:19,404
He gave the responsibility to me.

4
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,366
It's my duty to achieve.

5
00:00:27,788 --> 00:00:32,500
Hiya. I'll be today's leader of this
ice cream and wiener party.

6
00:00:33,961 --> 00:00:37,046
Also-and this is also Tarin.
If you need anything.

7
00:00:37,046 --> 00:00:39,716
- Where is Kelvin?
- Nothing bad has happened to him.

8
00:00:39,716 --> 00:00:41,551
He's not dead.
He believes in me so much,

9
00:00:41,551 --> 00:00:44,472
he gave me this opportunity
to prove myself.

10
00:00:44,472 --> 00:00:48,225
You know, this is good, because
we've known Kelvin for years,

11
00:00:48,225 --> 00:00:50,935
but we haven't had the pleasure
of getting to know you yet, Keefe.

12
00:00:50,935 --> 00:00:53,105
Keefe is a sick breakdancer.

13
00:00:54,064 --> 00:00:57,943
Well, you've got their respect.
That's the most important thing.

14
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:01,113
Hey, Blondie.
It is you.

15
00:01:01,988 --> 00:01:03,698
- Oh, no.
- I know you!

16
00:01:04,658 --> 00:01:06,452
Yeah, buddy,
it's me, Clarence.

17
00:01:06,452 --> 00:01:08,745
I own the adult emporium
off the highway.

18
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,873
You cleaned me out
a couple days back.

19
00:01:10,873 --> 00:01:13,334
Bought every last butt-buzzer
I had I stock.

20
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:16,295
You stop by next week.
We just got some premium fuck dolls.

21
00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:17,754
Take care, buddy.

22
00:01:24,761 --> 00:01:28,724
It's not what you think.
It's something we did with your kids.

23
00:01:32,478 --> 00:01:37,941
Why don't we all enjoy
some ice creams and wieners together?

24
00:01:51,247 --> 00:01:55,835
Thank you. Good afternoon.
A pleasure to be a part of the society.

25
00:01:57,836 --> 00:02:00,713
- Who you planning to shoot?
- Ain't shoot nobody.

26
00:02:00,713 --> 00:02:03,801
I'm practicing some potential moves
for my swearing in ceremony.

27
00:02:03,801 --> 00:02:06,345
- Like choreography to music?
- No.

28
00:02:06,804 --> 00:02:08,930
This is a very serious organization.

29
00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:12,517
Cape and Pistol is the most elite
of ministers and pastors.

30
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,023
My daddy was a lot older than me
when they finally swore him in.

31
00:02:17,023 --> 00:02:20,233
And yet here I am.
My time to shine.

32
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:24,071
Finally, motherfuckers.
Nothing can stop me now.

33
00:02:24,071 --> 00:02:26,574
What the hell are you doing, dummy?

34
00:02:26,574 --> 00:02:28,616
Can't anybody have any
damn privacy around here?

35
00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:30,786
Pontius, can you take Michaela
and go somewhere?

36
00:02:30,786 --> 00:02:33,037
Like where?
You said we weren't allowed in my room.

37
00:02:33,037 --> 00:02:34,915
You can go outside.
Enjoy some nature.

38
00:02:35,374 --> 00:02:37,542
Nature sucks.
Shit's boring.

39
00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:39,962
You got a really smart-ass mouth
for a little boy

40
00:02:39,962 --> 00:02:42,756
who didn't get accepted
into one single college.

41
00:02:42,756 --> 00:02:45,759
How come none of them mouth smarts
are in your brain, dickhead?

42
00:02:45,759 --> 00:02:47,928
If you wanna be a winner
like your old man,

43
00:02:47,928 --> 00:02:50,680
who's being inducted into
a super exclusive organization...

44
00:02:51,474 --> 00:02:54,477
...you're going to college.
You can pick it or we will.

45
00:02:54,477 --> 00:02:57,605
I bet you the boys of the Citadel
would split your ass

46
00:02:57,605 --> 00:03:00,023
like a pair of Chinese chopsticks.

47
00:03:00,023 --> 00:03:02,360
You can pay for classes,
don't mean I'll go.

48
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:03,652
Don't mean I'll go.

49
00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:07,073
This whole Pete Davidson act
you got going on does not suit you.

50
00:03:07,073 --> 00:03:12,118
Tattoos and a dumb-ass haircut?
It's not original. You're not him.

51
00:03:12,118 --> 00:03:15,748
- I'm not trying to be Pete Davidson.
- Well, good, because you're not.

52
00:03:15,748 --> 00:03:17,249
Fuck my parents.

53
00:03:18,792 --> 00:03:22,630
- I do not like his girlfriend.
- She definitely seems like a bitch.

54
00:03:26,509 --> 00:03:30,261
- Reading about Hitler?
- No, asshole. John Adams.

55
00:03:30,638 --> 00:03:32,180
The pleasures of retirement is

56
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:35,101
you don't have to work on a sermon
on a Sunday morning.

57
00:03:35,101 --> 00:03:37,727
You seen my boys?
They're gonna to be late for church,

58
00:03:37,727 --> 00:03:40,271
even if it is a TV show church.

59
00:03:40,271 --> 00:03:42,941
- They left a couple hours ago.
- Where they go?

60
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:45,069
Getting ready for church.

61
00:05:26,921 --> 00:05:33,218
Praise the Lord,
his righteousness at hand.

62
00:05:34,345 --> 00:05:40,559
Holy war, the battle has begun.

63
00:05:41,143 --> 00:05:44,687
So praise the Lord,

64
00:05:45,189 --> 00:05:50,111
his righteous love has come.

65
00:05:53,572 --> 00:05:55,074
I know.

66
00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:59,160
- You all are crazy.
- That ain't right.

67
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,997
The haircuts are good,
but I don't love those suits.

68
00:06:01,997 --> 00:06:05,042
- What's that material?
- Silk, momma.

69
00:06:05,042 --> 00:06:09,922
- I don't like how shiny it is.
- It's supposed to be shiny, I think.

70
00:06:09,922 --> 00:06:13,008
- It is. That's considered good.
- Good for a lady's negligee.

71
00:06:13,008 --> 00:06:15,678
A little loud and proud for me.
But that's fine.

72
00:06:15,678 --> 00:06:19,056
You can't ever give it up.
Always talking that trash.

73
00:06:19,056 --> 00:06:21,891
I mean, their lives sure have improved
since coming here.

74
00:06:21,891 --> 00:06:24,729
Karl's presenting like a straight-up
cunt-smasher now.

75
00:06:25,603 --> 00:06:27,230
Hi, everybody!

76
00:06:28,899 --> 00:06:30,192
Peter!

77
00:06:30,192 --> 00:06:33,279
- You got no business here, Peter.
- I come in peace.

78
00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,073
I'm here to apologize to my sons,
and that's it.

79
00:06:56,260 --> 00:07:00,930
All right. I'll make this quick.
Boys, I apologize. I was wrong.

80
00:07:02,141 --> 00:07:06,687
I accused you of being betrayers,
and now I know that it wasn't you.

81
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,563
- Who was it, Pa?
- Lucas.

82
00:07:09,231 --> 00:07:11,941
Fat-ass Lucas.
I believe it.

83
00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:15,779
And now I'd like you
to come back home with me.

84
00:07:15,779 --> 00:07:20,117
We got a brand-new place.
It's a beautiful old farm.

85
00:07:20,492 --> 00:07:23,620
Like real nice.
Tons of birds.

86
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:26,248
They ain't going nowhere with you.
You go home to your tons of birds.

87
00:07:26,582 --> 00:07:29,084
I think the boys can speak
for themselves.

88
00:07:31,337 --> 00:07:32,505
Well?

89
00:07:38,802 --> 00:07:41,721
Papa, we got a good thing going here.

90
00:07:43,098 --> 00:07:45,810
The Gemstones,
they've been like family.

91
00:07:46,143 --> 00:07:51,148
'Cause they gave you some fancy
haircuts? Some new clothes?

92
00:07:51,148 --> 00:07:56,237
You think you look like slick boys?
You look silly. plain ridiculous.

93
00:07:58,154 --> 00:08:02,117
We ain't going, Pa.
Please leave.

94
00:08:02,535 --> 00:08:04,077
Yeah. Read the room, dude.

95
00:08:04,077 --> 00:08:07,581
You're gonna read the back of my hand
if you sass me again, Judy.

96
00:08:07,581 --> 00:08:10,376
You're gonna get your ass shot if you
don't get the fuck out of here.

97
00:08:10,376 --> 00:08:13,879
- Who's gonna shoot me?
- I am.

98
00:08:13,879 --> 00:08:16,464
I was about to say
the same fucking thing.

99
00:08:17,632 --> 00:08:19,384
Beat us to the draw.

100
00:08:28,102 --> 00:08:32,814
You all Gemstones of the Rednecks.
Look at you.

101
00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:38,279
Fine.

102
00:08:40,948 --> 00:08:45,994
Little Gabriel is gonna blow his horn.
When he does, the reckoning will come.

103
00:08:47,537 --> 00:08:51,708
I think he might be blowing that horn
a little sooner than you think.

104
00:08:55,296 --> 00:08:56,671
Honk!

105
00:08:59,759 --> 00:09:02,470
It happened so fast.
I didn't have time to shoot him.

106
00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:04,347
Why did he honk my nose?

107
00:09:04,347 --> 00:09:07,683
I assume he identified you
as the weakest person at this table.

108
00:09:09,268 --> 00:09:11,062
When did you guys get guns?

109
00:09:13,229 --> 00:09:17,234
"Keefe is creepy. I'm not comfortable
with him around kids."

110
00:09:17,902 --> 00:09:19,778
I told you, it's no good.

111
00:09:21,696 --> 00:09:26,659
This is bonkers.
What the fudge, Keefe?

112
00:09:26,994 --> 00:09:29,830
You had one job.
It's your only responsibility.

113
00:09:30,623 --> 00:09:32,165
What happened?

114
00:09:32,165 --> 00:09:36,879
I bumped into that fellow that
I bought all the bullets and the dildos

115
00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:40,674
and the butt-buzzers and the plugs
and stuff from at the porno store,

116
00:09:40,674 --> 00:09:43,052
and he outed me
in front of the parents.

117
00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:47,138
Did you explain that you bought
all this stuff on church business?

118
00:09:47,138 --> 00:09:49,224
I tried, but I just couldn't seem
to articulate

119
00:09:49,224 --> 00:09:52,185
how buying bunches of sex toys was
in the best interest of the church.

120
00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:59,526
Keefe, if you are not capable of
running Parents and Teens United,

121
00:09:59,526 --> 00:10:02,779
are you really qualified to
be my assistant youth pastor?

122
00:10:02,779 --> 00:10:04,447
No.

123
00:10:06,032 --> 00:10:07,159
Yes.

124
00:10:07,159 --> 00:10:11,996
This is not good, Keefe.
Speak of this no more.

125
00:10:13,374 --> 00:10:15,751
This kind of talk makes
my a-hole burn.

126
00:10:15,751 --> 00:10:19,337
I hate to think I'm responsible
for your a-hole burning, brother.

127
00:10:24,218 --> 00:10:26,804
Learn to paint while
you drink fine wines?

128
00:10:26,804 --> 00:10:29,557
You always know about
the coolest activities, Lollipop.

129
00:10:29,557 --> 00:10:32,268
Well, BJ, your wife is
one of the cools.

130
00:10:32,268 --> 00:10:35,521
So cool.
Do you like my painting?

131
00:10:38,149 --> 00:10:41,318
- Is that your cock?
- He's my childhood pet, Rags.

132
00:10:41,318 --> 00:10:43,863
Is Rags an explosive diarrhea
that you named?

133
00:10:43,863 --> 00:10:45,489
He was my dog.

134
00:10:45,489 --> 00:10:50,201
I never got the pleasure to meet Rags,
so that's why I don't recognize him.

135
00:11:04,216 --> 00:11:08,178
It's just my gyno's office.
They're just like texting me

136
00:11:08,178 --> 00:11:11,056
about a routine
"holes and folds" checkup.

137
00:11:16,269 --> 00:11:18,229
Stephen:
"Text me back or else."

138
00:11:19,607 --> 00:11:20,982
Another one?

139
00:11:21,357 --> 00:11:23,985
They sent it twice. Robots.

140
00:11:26,113 --> 00:11:29,866
So annoying they would send it twice.
I already got the appointment.

141
00:11:34,037 --> 00:11:37,665
Somebody sent me a dick pic.
I better text this guy back,

142
00:11:37,665 --> 00:11:40,044
let him know he's got
the wrong recipient.

143
00:11:40,044 --> 00:11:41,879
No. BJ, just block it.

144
00:11:41,879 --> 00:11:44,798
But some lucky gal is missing out
on that glorious cock shot.

145
00:11:44,798 --> 00:11:46,925
BJ, that's a perv, okay?

146
00:11:46,925 --> 00:11:49,845
That's like an old-school dude
in a raincoat trying to flash people

147
00:11:49,845 --> 00:11:51,806
to get his rocks off.

148
00:11:51,806 --> 00:11:53,848
Okay. There. It's blocked.

149
00:11:55,225 --> 00:11:57,060
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

150
00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:02,023
"Told ya."

151
00:12:05,944 --> 00:12:07,822
Geez Louise,
what was that all about?

152
00:12:07,822 --> 00:12:11,242
I'm just trying to do a panes of glass.
You know what I mean?

153
00:12:11,242 --> 00:12:13,243
It was just like constant
medical checks.

154
00:12:13,243 --> 00:12:18,456
How can somebody have a good time
with her husband? Let's paint and sip.

155
00:12:22,127 --> 00:12:25,338
The cape shall embrace you
like the arms of Jesus Christ.

156
00:12:25,965 --> 00:12:28,508
You wear it in celebration of his love.

157
00:12:33,514 --> 00:12:36,017
The pistol gives the power to take life.

158
00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:39,395
The Lord gave us free will
to do what we choose.

159
00:12:39,811 --> 00:12:45,692
It is a righteous man who wears
the pistol yet does no evil.

160
00:12:45,692 --> 00:12:49,780
Jesse Gemstone,
under the eyes of God,

161
00:12:50,573 --> 00:12:54,785
you are hereby inducted into
the Cape and Pistol Society.

162
00:13:12,302 --> 00:13:14,763
Congrats, Jesse.
A made man.

163
00:13:14,763 --> 00:13:18,391
That's right. Finally a part of
the Cape and motherfucking Pistol.

164
00:13:18,391 --> 00:13:21,394
Jesse, we don't talk like that
in Cape and Pistol.

165
00:13:21,394 --> 00:13:24,231
- You all don't do cuss words?
- No.

166
00:13:24,231 --> 00:13:26,900
My bad. Thanks for keeping me
in the dark on that one, Daddy.

167
00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:31,946
Anyway, it was a long ride but I knew,
eventually, I would make it to the top.

168
00:13:31,946 --> 00:13:33,699
Of course, you knew.

169
00:13:33,699 --> 00:13:36,659
Isn't that some kind of a given
for somebody like you?

170
00:13:36,659 --> 00:13:37,912
I'm sorry. How so?

171
00:13:37,912 --> 00:13:40,413
Well, maybe because you're
Eli Gemstone's son.

172
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:42,875
Maybe that's got something
to do with it.

173
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,169
I earned this on my own merits.

174
00:13:45,169 --> 00:13:47,546
I run one of the largest churches
in the entire country.

175
00:13:47,546 --> 00:13:49,964
So stop tripping, buddy.
Tell him, Daddy.

176
00:13:49,964 --> 00:13:53,177
Of course, you learned it.
Just settle down, Jesse.

177
00:13:53,177 --> 00:13:58,641
Dr. Gemstone's running defense.
I love it. Just making an observation.

178
00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:02,352
- Wee, wee, sucker.
- Don't you wee, wee, sucker me.

179
00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:06,523
You have appeared to have gotten
some sort of ass-whooping.

180
00:14:06,523 --> 00:14:10,611
That's correct. Didn't rob me
or nothing. Just beat me.

181
00:14:10,944 --> 00:14:14,572
- And the cops don't know who did it.
- No, they don't.

182
00:14:14,572 --> 00:14:18,076
I just thank the Lord that my sister
and brother weren't around.

183
00:14:18,076 --> 00:14:22,081
Just somebody who is trying to
teach you a lesson in particular.

184
00:14:22,081 --> 00:14:24,874
Maybe somebody you crossed
or were very rude to or something.

185
00:14:24,874 --> 00:14:26,709
- I don't know.
- Well, I'm not so sure.

186
00:14:26,709 --> 00:14:28,378
I am.
I'm sure.

187
00:14:31,048 --> 00:14:33,801
- This bread is the fucking tits.
- Excuse me.

188
00:14:34,468 --> 00:14:36,679
You're not supposed to cuss
in Cape and Pistol.

189
00:14:36,679 --> 00:14:39,056
Yeah. No fucking dude.
My daddy already told me.

190
00:14:39,056 --> 00:14:42,851
It's a talent.
A level of respect we show each other.

191
00:14:42,851 --> 00:14:44,603
Show some respect, Jesse.

192
00:14:44,603 --> 00:14:49,107
Profanity in the chambers.
A white slap shall be issued.

193
00:14:49,107 --> 00:14:51,484
White slap?
What the fuck is that?

194
00:15:45,373 --> 00:15:50,502
Jesse Gemstone. Jesse, I'm here.
Hang on now.

195
00:15:51,128 --> 00:15:52,797
What the fuck are you doing?

196
00:15:52,797 --> 00:15:59,470
Hey, what you think? I made it in.
I heard you is being sworn in today.

197
00:16:01,138 --> 00:16:03,349
Well, come on now.
Let me in. Hook me up.

198
00:16:03,349 --> 00:16:05,726
This is a secret society.
You can't just roll up in.

199
00:16:05,726 --> 00:16:11,023
It ain't a secret if I heard about it.
If you ain't gonna make Baba Bonkers,

200
00:16:11,023 --> 00:16:13,901
maybe some of these other
influential Christians will.

201
00:16:13,901 --> 00:16:17,405
None of Cape and Pistol are gonna
give a fuck about Baba Bonkers.

202
00:16:17,405 --> 00:16:21,492
Boy, I watched you become a man,
but don't think

203
00:16:21,492 --> 00:16:25,203
I won't bend you over my knee
and turn that fat ass red now.

204
00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:29,624
I'd love to see you turn this
big, fat ass red.

205
00:16:30,459 --> 00:16:32,795
I'll give you 20 bucks to try
and see what happens.

206
00:16:32,795 --> 00:16:36,673
I don't need $20 to kick your ass.
Let's go. I'll show you right now.

207
00:16:36,673 --> 00:16:40,011
What you gonna do, you fucking old
man? Get the fuck off.

208
00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:44,764
Go back inside your little
fucking Mickey Mouse club now.

209
00:16:46,015 --> 00:16:48,728
- Goddamn Harry Potter wannabes.
- No, we're not.

210
00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:54,442
You're so hell-bent on running
this church the way your daddy did.

211
00:16:55,316 --> 00:16:58,904
Only problem is, Jesse Gemstone,
you ain't your fucking daddy.

212
00:16:58,904 --> 00:17:01,656
What did my daddy had that
made him so fucking special?

213
00:17:01,656 --> 00:17:07,912
He had a star by his side, your mama.
You ain't got that. What you got?

214
00:17:07,912 --> 00:17:13,586
- You got you and two not really stars.
- Actually, that is kind of the reality.

215
00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:16,296
Ain't no kind of about it, Jesse.
If you wanna capture the magic,

216
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:20,634
you need your mama,
and I can give it to you now.

217
00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:22,845
What are you gonna do,
dress up like her?

218
00:17:22,845 --> 00:17:25,473
I ain't nobody gonna
put on no female clothes.

219
00:17:26,098 --> 00:17:30,436
I'm talking about resurrection.
Bringing her back to life.

220
00:17:30,811 --> 00:17:34,482
Uncle Baby Billy, I don't know what
you're smoking but I ain't buying it.

221
00:17:34,482 --> 00:17:37,735
No one in our family trusts you.
I ain't about to start.

222
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:42,197
Thanks for coming by and giving me
congratulations on my induct-ments.

223
00:17:42,864 --> 00:17:47,661
Resurrection, boy, from the ashes
in fulfillment of the scriptures.

224
00:17:47,661 --> 00:17:50,413
Put it back on that stage.
Restore the kingdom.

225
00:17:51,039 --> 00:17:53,875
Come see me when
you're ready to believe in miracles!

226
00:18:11,059 --> 00:18:12,812
What the hell was that?

227
00:18:13,895 --> 00:18:17,942
You got pocket gophers. We're just doing
a little pest control for you.

228
00:18:17,942 --> 00:18:19,777
It sounded like a bomb went off.

229
00:18:19,777 --> 00:18:23,489
We made a little homemade explosive
with some fertilizer, some gas.

230
00:18:23,822 --> 00:18:27,034
One more, we've cleared out
the whole den for you.

231
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:29,536
You know we got a ground crew
for that kind of stuff.

232
00:18:29,536 --> 00:18:33,624
We know.
But they ain't half as good as we are.

233
00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:37,419
Plus, we just wanna show you
we appreciate all you've done for us.

234
00:18:37,419 --> 00:18:41,382
I appreciate the thought. I'm proud of
the way you stood up to your daddy.

235
00:18:41,382 --> 00:18:45,553
I know it wasn't easy.
We're happy you all are here.

236
00:18:49,431 --> 00:18:50,724
Here it goes.

237
00:18:55,813 --> 00:18:57,857
- You got scared.
- No, I didn't.

238
00:18:58,982 --> 00:19:02,402
- You see any gophers?
- Not no more.

239
00:19:04,028 --> 00:19:06,823
Parents of teens, good to see you all.

240
00:19:08,993 --> 00:19:11,786
This is a good turnout. Very cool.

241
00:19:12,163 --> 00:19:17,126
So I just wanted to address some
of the letters I received in the SBC.

242
00:19:19,712 --> 00:19:21,797
That is suggestion box comments.

243
00:19:22,131 --> 00:19:25,760
The issue is simple. We do not feel
safe with the assistant youth pastor.

244
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,972
- We heard he's a devil worshiper.
- That's false. Fake news.

245
00:19:29,972 --> 00:19:32,682
No, Keefe is an ex-Satan worshiper.

246
00:19:33,017 --> 00:19:37,521
I don't judge people's past. I used to
sell fireworks on the side of the road.

247
00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:41,191
But I don't want him
influencing our children.

248
00:19:41,191 --> 00:19:43,276
You don't have to worry
about Keefe around children.

249
00:19:43,276 --> 00:19:47,615
I vouch for him. He is one of my closest
personal friends. He is my dude.

250
00:19:47,615 --> 00:19:52,536
With all the rumors swirling about you,
can't you see how strange this looks?

251
00:19:54,872 --> 00:19:58,793
- There's rumors swirling about me?
- Remove him or we remove our kids.

252
00:20:00,585 --> 00:20:07,550
Okay. Thank you for your feedback.
Enjoy your Woks On Water.

253
00:20:13,556 --> 00:20:16,769
I was hoping Thomas would be here
today. He's my usual partner.

254
00:20:16,769 --> 00:20:19,689
Someone slashed all his tires.
He can't make it.

255
00:20:20,022 --> 00:20:23,483
- Well, that's disturbing.
- We need to find you a new partner.

256
00:20:24,151 --> 00:20:25,527
I'll play.

257
00:20:30,573 --> 00:20:35,703
BJ, right? Didn't recognize you.
You're always in a suit in church.

258
00:20:35,703 --> 00:20:38,791
Well, don't let the
Versace couture fool you. It's still me.

259
00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:44,964
- So you go to Salvation Center?
- I do. I'm Steven.

260
00:20:45,297 --> 00:20:49,176
- I actually work with your lady.
- Nice! She's a lot of fun, right?

261
00:20:51,094 --> 00:20:55,849
- Is she ever? Should we rock out?
- Yeah. Let's rock out.

262
00:20:55,849 --> 00:20:59,227
Although, I think pickleball
is a little bit more like jazz.

263
00:21:01,188 --> 00:21:06,569
It feels good. Get the blood flowing.
Lately, it's been rushing to my cock.

264
00:21:06,985 --> 00:21:08,738
- Oh, for real?
- Yeah, bro.

265
00:21:09,112 --> 00:21:13,575
I've been hooking up with this chick,
so hot. Horniest gal I've ever met.

266
00:21:13,575 --> 00:21:15,910
You should see
how wet her pussy gets.

267
00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:19,748
I touch her and it's just
instantly fucking dripping.

268
00:21:22,917 --> 00:21:28,299
- Fucking full-on rainfalls.
- Well, thanks for filling in.

269
00:21:29,215 --> 00:21:30,843
I'm filling in all right.

270
00:21:30,843 --> 00:21:33,721
I just meant that my usual team mate,
Thomas, isn't here today.

271
00:21:33,721 --> 00:21:36,640
I'm talking about how, hopefully,
I'll be filling in this chick's pussy.

272
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,976
I dry-humped her till I came.

273
00:21:38,976 --> 00:21:42,646
Had the fucking map
of Hawaiian Islands all down my slacks.

274
00:21:42,979 --> 00:21:44,940
Time out, you guys.
Time out.

275
00:21:46,399 --> 00:21:49,904
Steven, I have to say,
I find what you're saying offensive.

276
00:21:49,904 --> 00:21:51,279
Do you?

277
00:21:51,279 --> 00:21:54,075
I don't really enjoy poontang talk
with other fellas.

278
00:21:54,075 --> 00:21:57,827
I know it's seen as locker room chat
but I find it to be disrespectful.

279
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:07,962
- You're a weak little fag, ain't you?
- No. I'm a straight cis male.

280
00:22:07,962 --> 00:22:12,175
But I don't believe that queer people
should be referenced that way.

281
00:22:14,219 --> 00:22:17,597
You fellas gonna play pickleball
or keep flapping them gums?

282
00:22:27,065 --> 00:22:28,442
I love her, you dick!

283
00:22:33,698 --> 00:22:38,743
Henry. You're bleeding so much.
Is he on blood thinners?

284
00:22:46,126 --> 00:22:48,628
They said Jesus struggled
with the crossword.

285
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,589
He always got stuck at two across.

286
00:22:55,427 --> 00:22:58,931
- You're going to hell, Eli.
- Maybe not today. It's too nice out.

287
00:22:59,724 --> 00:23:05,187
Yeah, it is pretty here in the garden.
I can see why Aimee-Leigh liked it.

288
00:23:05,187 --> 00:23:08,690
I thought it was a bad thing
to treat yourself nice, is it?

289
00:23:09,065 --> 00:23:13,320
Yeah, I could never live like you do.
All the things you have.

290
00:23:15,530 --> 00:23:17,574
I was never jealous of your riches.

291
00:23:19,618 --> 00:23:22,287
But I am jealous that
your kids still love you.

292
00:23:23,288 --> 00:23:25,791
That's more than
I can say about my own.

293
00:23:25,791 --> 00:23:31,881
Don't mistake love for dependency.
I feel like one of them old dogs

294
00:23:31,881 --> 00:23:35,468
with swollen nipples you see on a
ranch searching for shade.

295
00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:38,304
You look like one too.

296
00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:43,892
It's been three years since those boys
played their instruments for me.

297
00:23:44,268 --> 00:23:47,353
They refused to because
they know it gives me joy.

298
00:23:47,353 --> 00:23:50,900
- That's how much they hate me.
- They don't hate you, May-May.

299
00:23:52,109 --> 00:23:58,199
- You're just hard to love sometimes.
- Gave them everything I could.

300
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:02,078
The problem is I never had
a damn thing.

301
00:24:08,626 --> 00:24:13,506
We are here to discuss when people
think people might be molesting people.

302
00:24:14,172 --> 00:24:18,719
- Keefe's gotta go, Kelvin.
- What? Okay.

303
00:24:19,512 --> 00:24:22,640
I can't even believe what I'm hearing.
Fire Keefe?

304
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,975
He just can't be
assistant youth pastor anymore.

305
00:24:24,975 --> 00:24:27,977
Martin thinks there might be a place for
him in immigrant outreach.

306
00:24:27,977 --> 00:24:31,106
Okay.
I like working with Keefe closely.

307
00:24:31,565 --> 00:24:34,484
- Okay.
- He'll be so crushed.

308
00:24:34,484 --> 00:24:38,239
Think about your own family's feelings
for once instead of Keefe's!

309
00:24:38,572 --> 00:24:40,366
Do you know what
it feels like to be me

310
00:24:40,366 --> 00:24:43,744
who fucking makes sacrifices right
and left to run this shit?

311
00:24:43,744 --> 00:24:47,580
Why are you acting like you're
the only one doing stuff? We all do!

312
00:24:47,580 --> 00:24:49,874
The stuff that your friend is doing,
the molesting

313
00:24:49,874 --> 00:24:53,421
or whatever the fuck is going on there,
that is not good for the church.

314
00:24:53,421 --> 00:24:56,215
Church leaders gotta think
about optics, Kelvin.

315
00:24:56,215 --> 00:25:00,552
- You need to suck it up, homie.
- Like you sucked it up on tour?

316
00:25:01,594 --> 00:25:03,680
How fucking dare you?

317
00:25:04,013 --> 00:25:06,307
- You two.
- I'm gonna fuck you up.

318
00:25:06,307 --> 00:25:08,811
- Both of you, enough.
- Fucker. I'm gonna get you.

319
00:25:08,811 --> 00:25:09,895
Enough!

320
00:25:10,938 --> 00:25:14,984
No, Jesse. No, son. I don't like that.
I don't like you acting like daddy.

321
00:25:14,984 --> 00:25:18,528
I don't like how you're both acting,
like little immature babies. Sit down.

322
00:25:19,612 --> 00:25:21,574
I'm sitting down 'cause I want to.

323
00:25:21,574 --> 00:25:26,746
This isn't fair and I think you all know
that. Martin, you got anything to say?

324
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,331
Life is not fair.

325
00:25:29,331 --> 00:25:33,044
And Keefe as assistant youth pastor
does not work.

326
00:25:34,045 --> 00:25:36,964
This is not the hill to die on, Kelvin.
I'm sorry.

327
00:25:39,883 --> 00:25:44,305
I'm just getting my coffee. I'm leaving.
I vote no on everything else today.

328
00:25:44,305 --> 00:25:47,766
The next thing we're gonna vote for was
funding the battered women's shelter.

329
00:25:47,766 --> 00:25:49,143
It's a no.

330
00:25:51,228 --> 00:25:54,522
Ran into your coworker Steven
at the pickleball court.

331
00:25:54,522 --> 00:25:57,777
- Pardon?
- Steven. Spikey hair man from music.

332
00:25:58,234 --> 00:26:01,029
What's up with him? What did he say?
What did he want?

333
00:26:01,029 --> 00:26:05,034
We played as a team but it was strange.
He started doing graphic sex talk.

334
00:26:05,409 --> 00:26:08,287
I didn't really get on board.
I kind of upset him.

335
00:26:08,287 --> 00:26:11,123
What kind of graphic sex talk?
That's so weird.

336
00:26:11,123 --> 00:26:14,125
Explicit descriptions of sex acts
he'd done with a woman.

337
00:26:14,125 --> 00:26:18,089
How her vaginal secretions
made full puddles on the ground.

338
00:26:18,463 --> 00:26:22,425
How she liked it when he shot into
his own trousers, was kind of gross.

339
00:26:22,802 --> 00:26:25,261
I said, "No, thanks."
He lashed out at me.

340
00:26:25,261 --> 00:26:29,350
The dude's a sicko, BJ.
He's got major problems in his brain.

341
00:26:29,350 --> 00:26:32,560
- That's why he got fired.
- Steven got fired? What for?

342
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,438
I don't know. It was like
a time's up me too type deal.

343
00:26:35,772 --> 00:26:39,943
That's why he was so prickly with
me. He's upset he lost his job.

344
00:26:40,611 --> 00:26:41,986
I should call him.

345
00:26:42,321 --> 00:26:45,865
What? No! Don't you dare do that.
Just leave it alone.

346
00:26:45,865 --> 00:26:48,869
Sometimes when men boasts,
they're really just insecure.

347
00:26:48,869 --> 00:26:51,162
Stop trying to figure this dude out.

348
00:26:51,706 --> 00:26:55,918
You are a good guy. He is
a very bad guy. That's it.

349
00:26:55,918 --> 00:27:00,089
- I didn't know you felt so strongly.
- I don't know.

350
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,091
I feel like the opposite of strongly.

351
00:27:03,091 --> 00:27:05,886
Don't give a shit whether
the dude lives or dies.

352
00:27:05,886 --> 00:27:10,850
I lean toward hoping he dies today.
But, also, I could care less.

353
00:27:22,152 --> 00:27:26,281
Look who it is.
It's your favorite cousin Jesse.

354
00:27:27,115 --> 00:27:30,619
Big, bad Jesse.
You ready for a miracle?

355
00:27:41,338 --> 00:27:43,965
Nephew, prepare yourself.

356
00:27:53,851 --> 00:27:55,394
Here she comes.

357
00:28:31,679 --> 00:28:34,266
Hey, buddy.
What you working on?

358
00:28:34,975 --> 00:28:38,478
I'm fashioning pieces of
construction paper into crosses

359
00:28:38,478 --> 00:28:42,732
for the youth group bulletin board,
but they keep coming out like daggers.

360
00:28:43,317 --> 00:28:45,026
I'm sure it's fine, Keefe.

361
00:28:46,987 --> 00:28:53,953
I have to talk to you about something,
and it's not easy to talk about.

362
00:28:55,203 --> 00:28:57,038
- Sexual stuff?
- No.

363
00:28:59,624 --> 00:29:02,752
We're gonna move you out
of youth group. But guess what?

364
00:29:02,752 --> 00:29:05,214
I got you a gig
in immigrant outreach.

365
00:29:05,214 --> 00:29:07,924
You're finally gonna get
to use your Cantonese.

366
00:29:07,924 --> 00:29:11,928
Hen ku.
That means very cool. I looked it up.

367
00:29:13,305 --> 00:29:18,393
I understand. I'm sorry
for the trouble I brought upon you.

368
00:29:18,393 --> 00:29:20,729
You were no trouble.
You saved me

369
00:29:22,231 --> 00:29:25,860
and I will walk the righteous path
from here on out because of you.

370
00:29:25,860 --> 00:29:27,445
It's time to take what I've learned

371
00:29:27,445 --> 00:29:32,324
and put it to good use,
alone, by myself.

372
00:29:32,324 --> 00:29:34,702
No, Keefe.
We're just shifting your position.

373
00:29:34,702 --> 00:29:38,372
I need to give you space that
the air can be cleared.

374
00:29:38,831 --> 00:29:41,751
- I don't want space.
- I'll move out.

375
00:29:42,167 --> 00:29:47,797
This is a big decision. Take your time.
You should pray on it.

376
00:29:48,381 --> 00:29:50,175
I'll be out tomorrow.

377
00:29:51,176 --> 00:29:55,889
You Gemstones were stars
destined to burn bright.

378
00:29:58,100 --> 00:29:59,477
Best I step aside.

379
00:30:06,942 --> 00:30:08,193
Keefe.

380
00:30:20,498 --> 00:30:21,665
Hey, sexy!

381
00:30:28,546 --> 00:30:31,633
- So you're stalking my husband now?
- I told you I wouldn't give up.

382
00:30:31,633 --> 00:30:36,722
Hey, Steven, you gave it the college
try. But my decision stands.

383
00:30:36,722 --> 00:30:41,477
This is never gonna happen.
It's a mistake I never should have made.

384
00:30:41,477 --> 00:30:44,313
- I love BJ.
- I hate Christie.

385
00:30:44,313 --> 00:30:47,023
I wish I could chop her head off
while she's making omelets.

386
00:30:47,023 --> 00:30:48,608
- Okay. Do it.
- I would.

387
00:30:48,608 --> 00:30:52,529
Whatever you do, I need you to respect
my wishes and stop harassing me.

388
00:30:52,529 --> 00:30:55,741
Harassing you?
You want me, Judy.

389
00:30:55,741 --> 00:30:59,203
No, boy. If I wanted you,
I would have you.

390
00:30:59,870 --> 00:31:03,164
I'm just doing what I thought you're
supposed to do when you're a rock star.

391
00:31:03,498 --> 00:31:08,420
I thought, "people wanna fall in love
with me, suck my dick, so be it."

392
00:31:09,421 --> 00:31:13,467
It turns out I'm not Daniel Le Roux.
I'm Judy Gemstone.

393
00:31:13,842 --> 00:31:19,556
I'm BJ Barnes' bitch and no one else's.
You're not half the man that he is.

394
00:31:22,267 --> 00:31:25,980
- It's funny you should mention him.
- Judy, what are you doing here?

395
00:31:27,897 --> 00:31:31,276
Called my old pickleball partner here
to bury the hatchet.

396
00:31:31,736 --> 00:31:37,532
See... I can't stand
all this lying anymore.

397
00:31:38,242 --> 00:31:40,286
Exhausting to live that way.

398
00:31:42,787 --> 00:31:48,752
So... do you wanna
tell him the truth, Judy,

399
00:31:50,171 --> 00:31:51,756
or do I have to?

400
00:32:01,347 --> 00:32:04,642
- Hi, Mama.
- What's going on? Who died?

401
00:32:05,018 --> 00:32:08,146
We just thought that
we'd play our music for you.

402
00:32:10,482 --> 00:32:14,027
We're gonna play Sinner You Better
Get Ready. Your favorite.

403
00:32:18,239 --> 00:32:19,909
Two, three, four.

404
00:32:34,799 --> 00:32:40,846
Sinner, you better get ready.
O, you better get ready, halleluia.

405
00:32:41,221 --> 00:32:47,019
Sinner, you better get ready.
Time's comin' when the sinner must die.

406
00:32:49,605 --> 00:32:52,233
O, sinner man, you better pray.

407
00:32:52,733 --> 00:32:55,819
Time's a-comin'
when the sinner must die.

408
00:32:55,819 --> 00:33:00,198
Get prepared for your judgment day...

409
00:33:00,532 --> 00:33:03,160
- Pontius, what the fuck?
- Get the fuck out!

410
00:33:05,329 --> 00:33:08,248
Put your fucking pants on
and come to my office.

411
00:33:11,001 --> 00:33:13,379
About to be burned
in the flames of hell.

412
00:33:13,963 --> 00:33:16,549
Time's comin'
when the sinner must die.

413
00:33:19,135 --> 00:33:21,929
We were horny, so we fucked.
Big whoop.

414
00:33:22,304 --> 00:33:25,807
It is a big whoop, Pontius.
You're my son. I'm head of the church.

415
00:33:25,807 --> 00:33:27,184
Co-head.

416
00:33:27,184 --> 00:33:30,145
All right. You know what?
I was gonna be cool but fuck that.

417
00:33:30,145 --> 00:33:32,398
The reason why Michaela was allowed
to come to this house

418
00:33:32,398 --> 00:33:35,400
is because we trust you.
But if you're gonna sit there

419
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,862
and put jism on her behind our backs
then you can kiss that trust goodbye.

420
00:33:39,238 --> 00:33:44,033
Trust is a gift that should
be cherished. Life is tough.

421
00:33:44,033 --> 00:33:46,369
When you allow yourself
to trust another person

422
00:33:46,369 --> 00:33:48,163
that takes some of the weight off.

423
00:33:48,163 --> 00:33:51,791
And that's why it stings extra
when that trust is betrayed.

424
00:33:56,838 --> 00:34:00,509
People do not like having the rug
pulled out from underneath them.

425
00:34:01,344 --> 00:34:04,680
Love can be lost.
Relationships can be damaged forever.

426
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:09,393
It can take years and years to mend
all that wasted fucking time.

427
00:34:09,851 --> 00:34:13,438
Trust is the only thing keeping
the entire house of cards standing.

428
00:34:13,438 --> 00:34:17,485
Without it, we're left with a shit
stained world full of liars and cheats.

429
00:34:20,028 --> 00:34:24,407
Somebody gifting you their trust is
a very powerful thing.

430
00:34:25,034 --> 00:34:27,285
So breaking that trust is
the equivalent of saying,

431
00:34:27,285 --> 00:34:30,955
"Hey, buddy, fuck you. I don't
give a fuck about what you think".

432
00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:35,877
Is that what you want? Is that what you
wanna portray to me and your mom?

433
00:34:35,877 --> 00:34:39,965
"Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. Fuck you. I don't
give a fuck about what you think."

434
00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:43,594
Someone saying fuck you to family
will not be tolerated in this house.

435
00:34:43,927 --> 00:34:46,346
As your father,
have I made myself clear?

436
00:34:46,888 --> 00:34:49,600
Yeah. Whatever.

437
00:34:59,651 --> 00:35:00,902
We love you, Mama.

438
00:35:00,902 --> 00:35:02,487
That's for you, Mama.

439
00:35:06,866 --> 00:35:09,120
You proud, Pa? We do good?

440
00:35:09,536 --> 00:35:11,830
Five thousand pounds
of ammonium nitrate.

441
00:35:11,830 --> 00:35:15,418
You stick that up Uncle Sam's ass
and bull him straight to Mars.

442
00:35:17,002 --> 00:35:20,881
Yes, you did good, boys.

443
00:35:24,010 --> 00:35:25,468
You did real good.

444
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,810
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