1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:07,208 ** 2 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,677 Ugh. 3 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:10,744 Darlene: Oh, now look what you did. 4 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,813 You got vegetables on Dad's plate. 5 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,148 What's he gonna do with those? 6 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:18,086 Alright. Let's fix this elbow-bumping problem. 7 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:21,389 I need all the lefties to sit next to each other 8 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,924 on this side of the table, all righties on this side. 9 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,334 We need a righty to switch to a lefty. 10 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,702 Mary, start using your other hand. 11 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,670 Why me? 12 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,107 Because the rest of us are too old to change. 13 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,109 I'm not that young. 14 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,077 I bet none of you even know how old I am. 15 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,678 Sure we do, sweetie. You're 10. 16 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,779 No. 11. 17 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,881 9. 47. 18 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,551 You're all wrong. She's 12. 19 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,453 Anybody thinking what I'm thinking? 20 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,987 She should be working, right? 21 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,458 Well, give her a minute. She's a Conner. 22 00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:58,692 She's not gonna get to retire, 23 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,294 so she should enjoy her golden years now. 24 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,963 Oh! This is ridiculous anyways. 25 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,132 Why are we all eating at the same time 26 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,867 like it's rush hour on a Japanese commuter train? 27 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,436 Because right now, a lot of us 28 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,604 are feeling like we need to be together more. 29 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,906 Well, I know Mary needed that, and thanks, everybody, 30 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,074 for helping her deal with everything 31 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,075 while I was out of town. 32 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,810 That's what family's for. 33 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,113 Hey, Dad, did Chuck ever get back to you 34 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:21,582 about his friend that was gonna put his house on the market? 35 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,051 I'm down to looking at converted garages, 36 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,819 and it's cool that one whole wall 37 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,121 is a window if you open it, 38 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,589 but in the winter, I'm gonna have to hire a kid 39 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,324 to shovel my living room. 40 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,760 It's weird. I've called Chuck a couple of times 41 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,795 over the last few weeks, but he hasn't called me back. 42 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,398 He and Anne-Marie are probably on their boat 43 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,801 heading down the Mississippi to party in N'orleans. 44 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,671 I'm gonna do that, too, when I retire. 45 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,940 Except there's no boat, no party, and I'll be dead. 46 00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,809 Maybe we should go over there. 47 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,644 I don't want to go over there unannounced. 48 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,280 Unannounced? 49 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:56,016 "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present 50 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:59,953 the Earl and Duchess of Whitetrash." 51 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,689 [ Laughs ] 52 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,024 Fine. We'll just say we were in the neighborhood. 53 00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,092 It won't be a lie. 54 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,860 I got four birthdays coming up at work 55 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,163 and I've been meaning to break into that Goodwill donation bin 56 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,832 next to the fancy dog hotel anyway. 57 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:15,135 Oh, uh, Beverly Rose needs some shoes. 58 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,271 Those are easy to fish out with a coat hanger, 59 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,473 but try to get two of the same size this time. 60 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:24,712 "The Earl and Duchess regret that they must take their leave 61 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:28,949 to attend the royal dumpster dive." 62 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,119 If you see a bra that's not too stretched out, grab it. 63 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,221 [ Knock on door ] 64 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,288 -Not it! -Not it! 65 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,356 -Not it! -Not it! 66 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,824 Oh, damn! 67 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,026 I had a mouthful of mashed potatoes. 68 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,296 If you're looking for money, 69 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,164 we don't care about your band uniforms 70 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,066 and your chocolate bars suck! 71 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,070 Hi! 72 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,305 What are you doing here? 73 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,474 Great news. We don't have to worry about the school 74 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,042 finding out that we're dating anymore. 75 00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:56,710 That is great. 76 00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:57,745 Why not? 77 00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,513 'Cause they found out. 78 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,081 What? 79 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,217 How? We were so careful. 80 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,719 Well, remember that text you sent me where you said, 81 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,588 "Every second I'm in your class, all I can think about 82 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,590 is watching you grade papers naked"? 83 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,759 Yeah. Why? 84 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,061 Well, you sent it to me and Wanda the TA. 85 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,096 No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. 86 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,231 You sent it to me and her on the thread 87 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,099 where we were talking about your overdue assignment, 88 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:22,736 which, ironically, was about self-sabotage. 89 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:26,073 Oh, my God. I feel terrible. 90 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,841 How do we fix this? 91 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,677 We can't. 92 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,945 See, Wanda already took it to the dean, 93 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,081 and everything's cool, though. 94 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,215 I told him it was all my fault, 95 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,518 and I handed in my resignation. 96 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,554 Oh, my God, Glen, I can't believe you did that. 97 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,423 Are you gonna be able to get another job? 98 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,625 No. That's the beauty of it. 99 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,059 This is my chance. 100 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,261 I can finally write my book, 101 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:50,130 and you and I don't have to hide our relationship anymore. 102 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,132 Oh, that is fantastic. 103 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,901 So you have some money saved up? 104 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,703 Oh, God, no. 105 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,104 I'm a community college teacher. 106 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,039 I made more money working at The Gap in high school. 107 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,774 I'm good for about three months. 108 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:04,111 Maybe four, if I eat once a day and live in a youth hostel. 109 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,046 We'll feed you at The Lunch Box. 110 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,650 Um, you must have a really good idea for the book. 111 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:12,152 Here's the best part. 112 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,622 I got nothing. 113 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,657 How is that the best part? 114 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,626 Then everything is a possibility. 115 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,494 Leap and the net will appear. 116 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,095 You know who says that? 117 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,131 Dead circus performers. 118 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:29,169 -- Captions by VITAC -- 119 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:37,144 ** 120 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:44,852 ** 121 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:52,626 ** 122 00:04:52,660 --> 00:05:00,334 ** 123 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:07,274 ** 124 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,510 How did we get another sad, 125 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,011 middle-aged person in this house? 126 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,647 I thought we sprayed for that. 127 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,282 It's okay. 128 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,985 He's percolating ideas for his new book. 129 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,887 Tell him to go percolate in the kitchen. 130 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,491 He's cutting into my cartoon time with Beverly Rose. 131 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,127 Okay, honey, 132 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,328 it's time to brush your teeth 133 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,563 and get ready for preschool. 134 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,732 What's the point? 135 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,068 Where did you hear that? 136 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,070 Uncle Glen. He says it a lot. 137 00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:43,844 So, it's been a couple days. 138 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,913 I don't want to interfere with your process, 139 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,348 but I'm excited to hear what you got. 140 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,551 I hit a wall. 141 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,553 Well, you can't hit a wall. 142 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:53,987 You're in a new phase. 143 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,323 You said you always wanted to write a book. 144 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,726 You must've had some ideas at some point. 145 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,494 I've never had any ideas. 146 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:04,031 I just read a book and thought, "I could do this." 147 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,933 Well, of course you can do this. 148 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,569 You have a brilliant mind. 149 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,571 You just need some motivation. 150 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:14,775 Okay. Tomorrow, I wanna see three ideas for your new book, 151 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,410 with a paragraph for each 152 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:19,012 indicating what some of the chapters might be. 153 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,280 You're right. 154 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,549 Thank you. 155 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,784 I needed a kick in the ass. 156 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,185 I'm gonna have one more bowl of cereal, 157 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,054 and then I'll write the entire book today. 158 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:32,292 You know, sometimes, people set too high of a goal 159 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,195 so they have an excuse for their failure. 160 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,365 I have a much better excuse for my failure. 161 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,033 Nope. I got nothing. 162 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,536 But I'm gonna come up with three great ideas for that, too. 163 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:45,305 I am on fire! 164 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:50,043 ** 165 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,812 Maybe we shouldn't do this. 166 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:55,148 Maybe he's got another friend he's doing fun stuff with. 167 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,950 What are you? 8? 168 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,152 [ Knock on door ] 169 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,125 Hey, Darlene. Dan. 170 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,094 Hey, hey. How's it going, stranger? 171 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,129 I've been trying to get ahold of you for the last few weeks. 172 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,999 Uh, I-I-I've just been busy. That's all. 173 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,233 Uh, you know, listen, 174 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,902 I'm kind of in the middle of something. 175 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,804 It'd be great if you could come back. 176 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,840 Uh, hey, uh, 177 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,175 do you mind if I come in and use your bathroom? 178 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,978 I-I'll be real quick. 179 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,921 Wow! 180 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,023 What hit this place? 181 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,424 Now that you're home all the time, 182 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,426 I guess Anne-Marie finally got wise 183 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,696 and realized she could do better than you and left you. 184 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,097 Oh, my God, I was just joking. 185 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,133 She didn't leave you, did she? 186 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,167 No. 187 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,169 No, um... 188 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,238 she's been in the hospital for a few weeks. 189 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,707 A few weeks? 190 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,475 What's going on? 191 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:59,179 She's, uh -- She's had a couple s-strokes. 192 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,149 Oh, man, I'm so sorry. 193 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,451 Why the hell didn't you call me? 194 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,987 Because you're not a doctor, 195 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,221 and you got problems of your own, 196 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,323 and, you know, I've been so busy going to see her, 197 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,726 I haven't had a chance to clean up around here. 198 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,696 I don't know what to say. 199 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,533 Anne-Marie's tough. I'm sure she's gonna be okay. 200 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,035 Yeah, and -- and while we're here, 201 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,136 at least let us help you. 202 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:27,074 We'll get rid of some of this trash. 203 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:30,010 Normally, I would throw away this coupon for carpet cleaning, 204 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,645 but I'm thinking we hang onto it. 205 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:34,548 There might be a carpet underneath all this. 206 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,049 Uh, you know what? Leave it. 207 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,184 I'll -- I'll -- I'll get it. 208 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,586 Oh, it's not problem. 209 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,120 J-Just stop! 210 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,092 Look... 211 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,095 thanks, but, um, I don't need any help. 212 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:52,199 My kid's coming over soon, and we got it covered. 213 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,001 You heard the man, Darlene. 214 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,936 He wants Chuck Jr. to help him. 215 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,906 You want to clean something, clean our house. 216 00:08:58,939 --> 00:08:59,940 Alright, buddy, if you need anything, 217 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,109 you know how to get me. 218 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,944 We'll hold a good thought for Anne-Marie. 219 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,581 Okay, but I'm at least gonna throw out 220 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,217 this old donut box on our way out. 221 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,519 Huh. Looks like a donut, 222 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,122 but it's just a bunch of ants dancing in a circle. 223 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,127 Alright, it's time for another moment of "Stew, But True"! 224 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:27,367 According to Wikipedia, the Greek historian Her-- Herodotus 225 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,103 claimed that stew existed as early 226 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:33,440 as the fourth century B.C., 227 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:37,911 when cooks would "put the flesh into the animal's paunch, 228 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:41,649 mix water with it, and boil it like that over a bone fire. 229 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:46,286 This way, an ox is ingeniously made to boil itself..." 230 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,321 Okay, that's horrifying. 231 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,424 I gotta read these first. 232 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,062 Hey, sweetie. 233 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,596 Hey. Hey, Glen. 234 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,631 Ben. 235 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,567 Ah, thanks so much for coming, Ben. 236 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,270 Well, I've helped launch a few writers in my time, 237 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,272 so I'm happy to do it. 238 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:08,441 Okay, hit us with your greatness. 239 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,343 I had a hard time organizing my thoughts, 240 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,412 so I tried stream of consciousness. 241 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,014 Hey, that can work. 242 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,248 You know, a lot of famous writers 243 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,784 use stream of consciousness. 244 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,151 Kerouac. Huh? 245 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,486 Hunter Thompson. 246 00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,421 I mean, a lot of drugs floating down that stream, 247 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,023 but still, it's pretty good company. 248 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,026 Glen's just so modest. 249 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,461 Let me see it. Uh... 250 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,997 "I'm no good. 251 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:33,133 Who would want to read a book by me? 252 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,868 I'm sad I woke up today." 253 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:37,971 Well, there you go. 254 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,741 You got three great titles right there. 255 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,977 Okay, it doesn't have to be profound. 256 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,612 Just give me something. 257 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,947 I got nothing. 258 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,283 I looked inside me and there's just a gaping black hole. 259 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,484 Oh, come on. 260 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,287 Look, even black holes have something to offer. 261 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,025 You know, they swallow light, stars, solar systems. 262 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,494 What's inside your black hole, Glen? 263 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,662 Nothing. 264 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,998 Just a black hole. 265 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,300 But if there was something of you 266 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,970 at the bottom of your black hole, 267 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,171 what would it be? 268 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,875 Just me, falling in black forever. 269 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:18,545 Uh...I think somebody needs a little pick-me-up, 270 00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,248 so before we 51-50 you, 271 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,184 let's throw a bowl of ice cream down that hole 272 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,585 and see if it helps. 273 00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,156 So, what's the book about? 274 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,159 Nothing. He's broken. I broke him. 275 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,661 Well, you broke it, you buy it. 276 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,097 I just bumped into it and it fell off the shelf. 277 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,198 It was an accident. 278 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,200 Doesn't matter. It's all on camera. 279 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,002 You gotta make good, sister. 280 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,771 You know what's really upsetting? 281 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,939 This conversation is already better 282 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,075 than anything he came up with. Mm. 283 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,543 It's a good thing you love him. 284 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:53,446 Ehh... 285 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,882 There you go. There you go. 286 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,716 Am I in the right house? 287 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:59,052 Something smells good and Harris is cooking. 288 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,387 Aldo's kids love spaghetti. 289 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,589 So Grandpa's teaching me how to make baked spaghetti. 290 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,391 There's a secret to it. 291 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,860 First you take your spaghetti... 292 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,962 and then you bake it. 293 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,931 Next we're going to unravel the mystery 294 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,732 behind boiled potatoes. 295 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,870 So, Dad, that spaghetti 296 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,972 looks like something you could easily pack up 297 00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,141 and bring over to your distressed friend's house. 298 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,243 We're not going to Chuck's. 299 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,113 His kid's gonna handle it. 300 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,247 Uh, no, he's not. 301 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,783 I just got off the phone with Chuck Jr., 302 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,051 and he knows what's going on, 303 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,619 but he can't get away from work. 304 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,388 And did you know that Chuck Jr. lives in Nebraska now? 305 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,091 Damn it. No, I did not. 306 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,928 Well, I told Chuck to call me. There's a reason he didn't. 307 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,730 Yeah, because he's a stubborn old man like you are. 308 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,966 I don't get it. He's your best friend. 309 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,100 Don't you care what he's going through? 310 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,335 Of course I do. 311 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,436 Well? 312 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,971 He's a grown-ass man. 313 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,806 He can make his own decisions. 314 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,008 Your house is full of grown-ass people 315 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,977 and you're always up in our business. 316 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,446 So, what's really going on here? 317 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:02,149 I'm worried that Anne-Marie's gonna die 318 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:05,085 and Chuck's gonna be devastated. 319 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,419 I barely got through my own loss. 320 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,855 I don't think I have the strength 321 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,222 to go through all that again. 322 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,160 Yeah, but you found the strength when Mom died 323 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,863 because you had us there to help you get through it. 324 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,565 Chuck's got nobody. He needs you. 325 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,336 You're right. You're right. 326 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,005 I'll go. 327 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,174 Oh, it's gonna get ugly. 328 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,109 Chuck does not like help. 329 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,044 When I forced him to get a colonoscopy, 330 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,146 I told him they were just gonna X-ray him. 331 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,714 When he woke up, he was so pissed, 332 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,718 he snapped the antenna off my truck and almost gave me one. 333 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,888 Well, keep your back to the wall 334 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,956 and wear your overalls, but go do what's right. 335 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,497 ** 336 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,498 Hey, Beck. 337 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:54,067 Wake up and go to bed. 338 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,668 Oh. 339 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:58,838 I fell asleep trying to come up with ideas for Glen's book. 340 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,140 Oh. 341 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,642 I think it's great that you're trying to elevate 342 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,177 the voice of a middle-aged white guy 343 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,645 with a Master's degree. 344 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,315 It's time their stories were told. 345 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,651 I'm just trying to help because he's so depressed. 346 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,088 Turns out Glen's just not good at handling adversity. 347 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:18,591 That is not a great sign for somebody dating a Conner. 348 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,160 I know. 349 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,964 And he's a smart, kind guy, but he's falling apart here. 350 00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:28,101 If there's a crisis, I need a partner who's got my back. 351 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:31,171 And I know it makes me sound like a jerk, 352 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,174 but I'm seeing a side of him that I'm not crazy about. 353 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,675 Well, you guys haven't been together long. 354 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,610 If you're already seeing things that worry you, 355 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,913 jump out of the plane now while it's over water, 356 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,983 not later when it's over rocks and pointy things. 357 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,853 I don't think I can do this. 358 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,356 Well, make up your mind, 'cause his attitude 359 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,958 is starting to affect Beverly Rose. 360 00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,192 We were on a walk yesterday, 361 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,194 and I said, "Hey, look at that pretty sunset," 362 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,397 and she said, "Eh, they're all the same." 363 00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:04,137 ** 364 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,439 Whaddya say, whaddya know? 365 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,075 What is all that stuff? 366 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:12,279 Well, this would suggest I'm gonna throw something away, 367 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,982 while this would lead one to believe 368 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,984 that I'm gonna cook something for you. 369 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,119 Dan, I told you I was fine. 370 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,720 Chuck Jr.'s on his way over. 371 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,722 We both know that he's not. 372 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,558 Look, I don't need anybody checking up on me. 373 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,994 Hey, I'm not anybody. 374 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,896 I'm your best friend, and yes, you do. 375 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,264 Anne-Marie's my best friend. 376 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,899 Yeah, she is. 377 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,303 And she'd kick both our asses if she saw how you were living. 378 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,073 What's going on, Chuck? 379 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,142 How'd you let things get this bad? 380 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,312 You know how it is when you've been married a long time 381 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:49,482 and you split the responsibilities. 382 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,951 She cooked the meals, paid the bills, 383 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,587 and cleaned the house and raised our son, 384 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,658 and I changed the oil in the cars and went to work. 385 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:03,196 If I remember correctly, 386 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,998 she went to work, too. 387 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:09,336 It's amazing more women don't murder their husbands. 388 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,039 You know, in the beginning, 389 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,773 you pretend that you don't know how to cook 390 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,009 and clean stuff like that so you don't have to do it. 391 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,777 [ Chuckles ] Then after a while, 392 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,312 you -- you forget how to do it, 393 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:23,150 and then... God forbid you need to. 394 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,517 I hear you, brother. 395 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,054 I'm pretending all over again with the new wife, 396 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,789 but she doesn't just get impatient and give up on me. 397 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,825 She keeps teaching me and teaching me until I get it. 398 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,729 It's infuriating. 399 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,398 I'm telling you, I was trying to figure out 400 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,068 which button to push to wash my clothes yesterday. 401 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,471 That damn machine shrunk my underwear and played me a song. 402 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,506 [ Laughs ] 403 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,479 I'm scared, man. 404 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,381 I guess that's part of the reason 405 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,715 I haven't cleaned this place. 406 00:16:55,748 --> 00:17:00,019 I spend all day thinking about, what... 407 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,888 what if I lose her? 408 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,557 Yeah, there's something about going to the kitchen 409 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,527 to tell her something funny that only she would laugh at 410 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,098 or something only the both of you would remember... 411 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,868 ...she's not there. 412 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,337 Dan? 413 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,073 Yeah? 414 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,109 Shouldn't you be saying stuff like, 415 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,411 "She's gonna make it and it's gonna be okay"? 416 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,045 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't I say that? 417 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,014 I thought I said that. No, you didn't say it. 418 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,382 Well, I'm gonna say it now. 419 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,551 She's gonna be fine. 420 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,952 Of all of us, Anne-Marie knows 421 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,088 you can't possibly survive without her, 422 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:38,091 so she's gonna hang on and let you go first. 423 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,127 Well, I've drank enough beer and ate enough hot dogs. 424 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,928 I'm doing my part. 425 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,798 I got something here that might help you out. 426 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:46,866 Well, what is that? 427 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:50,069 Oh, it better not be a poem! 428 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,938 It's not. 429 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,073 It's a list Rose made for me 430 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,409 of how to do all the stuff in the house she did 431 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,645 so when she'd get mad and yell at me for not doing it, 432 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,780 I couldn't say I didn't know how. 433 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:04,617 It starts, "Dear useless man..." 434 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,986 I'll make you a copy. You got a printer? 435 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:10,323 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 436 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:11,891 What? 437 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,428 Anne-Marie's the only one who knows how to use it. 438 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,164 [ Snorts ] 439 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,167 Here ya go. 440 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,135 Becky should be here any second. 441 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,603 Good. I need to talk to her. 442 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,104 Um, she said you're writing a book. 443 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,673 I wrote a novel once. 444 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,675 Really? Good for you. 445 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,243 I had all kinds of problems. 446 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,011 Yeah, that wasn't my experience. 447 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,980 As soon as I sat down to the laptop, 448 00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:35,282 it was just pouring out of me. 449 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,850 I don't think I could have stopped it if I wanted to, 450 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,486 but I guess I was just some vessel 451 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,489 for something that the universe wanted out there. 452 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,291 Wow. That's every writer's dream. 453 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,792 Yeah. I bet your book was amazing. 454 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,927 Uh, nah, apparently, the universe 455 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,763 wanted 700 pages of incoherent crap, 456 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,333 but, again, I-I was just the vessel. 457 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,704 Hey. Hey. 458 00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:01,007 I assume the college called and gave you your job back. 459 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,842 They did. 460 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,545 The dean said you felt guilty about letting me take the fall 461 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,046 and that there was no relationship, 462 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,781 and it was all your fantasy, 463 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,418 and that you texted about things that never actually happened. 464 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,120 Why'd you throw yourself under the bus? 465 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,556 To get you your job back. 466 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,959 And all they did was put me on probation. 467 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,195 You belong in the classroom. 468 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,163 You were like a fish out of water 469 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,899 and it was so hard watching you flop around 470 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,167 all over the place. 471 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,536 Thank you. 472 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,003 I was just starting to get traction on my book, 473 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,439 but this is good, too. 474 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:37,344 So, I guess we go back to dating on the down-low again, huh? 475 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,846 No, we can't. 476 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,682 We had a close call and we have to learn from it. 477 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:45,352 Do you think we should stop seeing each other? 478 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,020 I think by your question, 479 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,757 you know the answer. 480 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:51,991 No, I don't. 481 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,726 In your heart, you do. 482 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,263 I really don't. 483 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,965 If you think about it, you do. 484 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,603 I thought about it, and I don't. 485 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,638 Yes! We're breaking up! 486 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:11,110 So, that's it? It's just over? 487 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:14,113 Oh, Glen, you're a great guy. 488 00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,715 We're just... 489 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,618 star-crossed lovers. 490 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,086 I'm sorry. 491 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,656 Oh, this is too hard. You should go. 492 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,727 I ordered some pie. 493 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,231 Would you like it to-go? 494 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,967 I guess I do now. 495 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,769 Hey, Jackie? 496 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,438 When you bring Glen's pie, 497 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:41,441 uh, could you also bring a piece of my heart? 498 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,543 In a to-go box. 499 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,777 Oh, to-go. 500 00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:48,114 I really don't know what happened here. 501 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,483 Um, I'm all out of pieces of Becky's heart, 502 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:53,085 but I did slap a piece of cheese on there for you. 503 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,389 So, out you go. 504 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,157 ** 505 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:01,761 Hey, Chuck. Good to see you, buddy. 506 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,130 Hey, hey. What's the occasion? 507 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,498 Well, I'm hoping Anne-Marie'll be home soon, 508 00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:06,999 and I'm just hanging out with you guys 509 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,167 until my woman gets back 510 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,769 and I can blow you all off again. 511 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,005 Plus, Anne-Marie's gonna need somebody else 512 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,674 to do the cooking for a while, 513 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,175 so I'm teaching Chuck some of your mom's 514 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:17,810 secret family recipes. 515 00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:19,579 Secret recipes? 516 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:20,647 What are you making? 517 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,015 Um, boiled weenies on white bread. 518 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,151 And the secret is, your mom didn't know how to cook.