1 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,120 [ Cellphone chimes ] 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,500 Ah. David just parked. 3 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,540 You know, I don't think I've ever met Mark's dad. 4 00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:11,960 Well, we've actually been separated for years, 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,920 so he's never been to a parent-teacher conference before. 6 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,460 He was working overseas. Oh. 7 00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:19,170 Not for money, but, um... 8 00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:20,580 But he's a good dad... yeah. 9 00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:22,500 Not a great dad, or he would've been on time. 10 00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:25,080 I'm just -- I'm just kidding. 11 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,380 I'm just kidding. 12 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:28,080 We have that kind of relationship, 13 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,500 you know, when he's not around. 14 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,920 Oh, so, so sorry we're late. 15 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,000 Who's this? 16 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,290 This is my girlfriend, Blue. 17 00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:37,710 Blue, this is Darlene, 18 00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:41,000 and -- and Mark's teacher, Mrs...um, Reynolds. 19 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,750 Thank you for having me, 20 00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:45,170 member of the noblest profession. 21 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,790 Ah, and it's so nice to finally meet you, Darlene. 22 00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:53,620 Yes, it's... nice to meet you, too. 23 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,040 And what a delightful surprise that it's happening here! 24 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,120 I should've told you that Blue was coming, 25 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,750 but at the last minute, 26 00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:03,210 she felt that -- 27 00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:05,750 I-I mean we felt that if she was here, 28 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,620 she could be a more profound part 29 00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,580 of Mark's life journey. 30 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:11,790 Yeah, I've only met Mark twice, 31 00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:14,000 but I've known him forever. 32 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:18,540 And, you know, like they say, the more parents, the better! 33 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:23,170 Um...who says that? No one says that. 34 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,750 So, why don't we get started. 35 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,420 Uh, yeah, sorry. 36 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,880 I'm -- I'm anxious to hear how Mark's doing in his new class. 37 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,500 First, Mark is an absolute pleasure, 38 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,750 although he can be... a little too talkative at times. 39 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,210 That is so Mark. 40 00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:41,960 I'm always saying that. He's so highly verbal. 41 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,380 Totally. You would know, 'cause you've met him twice, so... 42 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,540 So, uh... Mark's a big talker? 43 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:50,500 Is that -- Is that affecting his schoolwork? 44 00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:53,290 No. Honestly, it's a struggle to keep him challenged. 45 00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:54,670 W-W-Well, you know, if you think 46 00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:56,380 he needs some extra work to challenge him, 47 00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:58,960 we can help him when the kids stay over this weekend. 48 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,880 H-Hold up. What -- The kids are staying over? 49 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,120 I never agreed to that. 50 00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:07,380 Huh. My smart watch is telling me to get up and move, 51 00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:09,080 and, I don't know, now seems like a good time. 52 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,040 You said the kids could sleep over sometimes. 53 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,120 That's just something you say, like, 54 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,710 "They're your kids, too." 55 00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:20,420 Come on. 56 00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:22,000 I'm trying to make up for lost time here. 57 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:27,540 Fine. They can sleep over. 58 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:30,420 [ Chuckles ] And you do not have to worry. 59 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:32,500 I lived on a weed commune... 60 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,750 ...where we all shared in the raising of the children. 61 00:02:39,210 --> 00:02:41,080 Oh, yeah, sure. Well, it's easier that way 62 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,040 when you're too stoned to know whose kid is whose. 63 00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:56,540 ♪♪ 64 00:02:56,540 --> 00:03:06,670 ♪♪ 65 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:16,670 ♪♪ 66 00:03:16,670 --> 00:03:19,960 ♪♪ 67 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,290 "The Conners" is recorded 68 00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,620 in front of a live studio audience. 69 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:28,000 Ah, damn. [ Clears throat ] 70 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,170 You okay? 71 00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,920 Ah, I'm short a guy at work. 72 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,580 My back's acting up from hangin' drywall. 73 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:34,750 Turns out... 74 00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,460 I forgot to eat right and exercise 75 00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:37,960 for the last 50 years. 76 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,460 It's never too late. 77 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:42,580 That's what they say, but... 78 00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:43,250 it is. 79 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,420 Hey, Beck. 80 00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:47,960 What do you need? 81 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,580 Willpower or a beer. 82 00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:53,080 Once again, we have a winner! 83 00:03:54,790 --> 00:03:56,500 Hey, you know what, Deej? 84 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:58,290 If you want to pick up a couple extra bucks, 85 00:03:58,290 --> 00:03:59,460 you could help out on my crew. 86 00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:01,170 I am slammed at work. 87 00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:02,880 You know the servicing of vending machines, 88 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,830 it's not just collecting coins. 89 00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:08,250 Vandals scratch curse words into the glass. 90 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,040 And they say firemen are heroes. 91 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:13,830 Hey, Dad? 92 00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:15,250 Mm-hmm? 93 00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:18,040 How come you didn't ask me to do drywall? 94 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,420 'Cause I'm a girl? [ Sighs ] 95 00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:21,620 Wait, you're not gonna get me with that one. 96 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,880 No, I didn't ask you because you're a woman. 97 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,960 Come on. I could really use the extra money. 98 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,290 I'm saving to put a down payment on a mobile home 99 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:34,830 with a patio and a tree that you can tie yourself to 100 00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:35,920 when the tornado comes. 101 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,830 I'd love to, Beck, but it's construction. 102 00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,330 I'm not comfortable having you around 103 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:45,000 all that rough language and dirty jokes, 104 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,120 and I don't think I can cut back. 105 00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:50,380 Women built the pyramids, Dad. 106 00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,380 I don't know if that's true, 107 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,750 but I like how quick you came up with it. 108 00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,580 So, is that a yes? 109 00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:59,380 All right, Butch. We'll give it a shot. 110 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:00,290 Oh! 111 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:03,080 And, Mom, we'll be fine. 112 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,000 Don't text me every five minutes when I'm with Dad and Blue. 113 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,880 I won't. 114 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,830 Just remember, any nice feelings you have about her... 115 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:09,790 hurt me. 116 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,750 Are you jealous because new mommy is so pretty? 117 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:16,960 Ohh. That was rough. 118 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,000 I'm a little wounded... and kinda proud. 119 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,000 Harris, you come from a long line of sharp-tongued women 120 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,880 who have found that this particular gift 121 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,880 keeps them from having any truly successful relationships 122 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,210 outside the family. 123 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:35,080 [ Knock on door, door opens ] 124 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,880 Hey. You got everything? 125 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,210 Everything but happiness. 126 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,000 I mean I'm working on it with a new boyfriend. 127 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,580 Sorry, I-I-I meant bags. 128 00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,330 Oh, yeah, we got baggage... 129 00:05:45,330 --> 00:05:47,040 but... [Clears throat] 130 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,620 we're aware of it, and as a life coach, 131 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:50,290 I know that once you're aware of the problem, 132 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:52,830 then you can begin that long, long process. 133 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,290 Uh, yeah... 134 00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:56,330 sensing that you're still living alone? 135 00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:59,210 Uh, no, no, I've got Bev with me now. 136 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,750 Talking to her is a challenge. 137 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:04,210 Did you know that she was beautiful in her day 138 00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:05,750 but neither of her daughters inherited that? 139 00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:09,620 [ Laughs nervously ] 140 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,080 So strange being in this house without your mom. 141 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,330 When you and I were having problems, 142 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,460 she'd always take me aside and say, 143 00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:25,920 "David, I can't understand you when you're crying." 144 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,500 Well, you were the daughter she always wanted. [ Chuckles ] 145 00:06:32,830 --> 00:06:33,580 How you doing? 146 00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:35,040 Mm. 147 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:35,960 Up and down. 148 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,040 Well, things look like they're going really well with you and Blue. 149 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,540 Yeah. Thank you for being so accepting of it. 150 00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,170 Oh, yeah, no problem. 151 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,750 Um...did you tell her 152 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,620 that we slept together like three months ago? 153 00:06:47,620 --> 00:06:49,620 I just need to know in case I mention it in passing. 154 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,580 Please do not do that. 155 00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:58,250 Okay, but let's be brutally honest. 156 00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:01,380 After we had sex, you were totally ready to ditch Blue. 157 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,210 Well... 158 00:07:03,710 --> 00:07:04,920 It was great sex. 159 00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:09,080 Yeah. It was. 160 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,620 [ Chuckling ] Don't -- Don't...confuse me. 161 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:16,500 I-I really think I found something that works. 162 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,750 [ Scoffs ] Really? With her? 163 00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:19,620 Yeah. 164 00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:23,000 Yes, I think I found my soulmate. 165 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,120 That's great. [ Chuckles ] 166 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,710 I mean, I just wanted clarity. 167 00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:32,500 As long as we're clear, it's great. 168 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:33,330 Hi, Dad. 169 00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:36,580 Oh, me. Yeah. Hi. Hi, son. 170 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,790 What happened to your socks and shoes? 171 00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,330 We're grounding. 172 00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:44,580 Harris and I are gonna do it this weekend with Blue. 173 00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:47,420 She says it's a way to be more connected to Mother Earth. 174 00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:49,920 Uncle David's girlfriend, Blue, says God is in the dirt. 175 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,170 You replaced this wonderful woman 176 00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:56,170 with "God is in the dirt" woman? 177 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,250 Great to see you, Geena. 178 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,960 I see the war has softened you. 179 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,830 Hello, everyone. Name's Becky. 180 00:08:13,830 --> 00:08:17,120 Not gonna lie, I'm also the boss's daughter. 181 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,120 Just because I may own this business one day 182 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,580 should not affect how you treat me. 183 00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:27,330 Good morning, Miss Healy. 184 00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:29,880 Nice to see you on time for your first day. 185 00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:32,670 What's in here? 186 00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:33,790 Water. Duh! 187 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,920 Water has bubbles when you shake it. 188 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,420 There's no bubbles when I shake this. 189 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,580 [ Sniffs ] This vodka? 190 00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,250 Oh, my God. 191 00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:44,580 Okay... 192 00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,420 Who put vodka in my water bottle? 193 00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:49,040 Dwight? 194 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,620 So not cool, man. 195 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,540 Guys, would you go out and unload my truck? 196 00:08:54,540 --> 00:08:55,380 Thanks. 197 00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:00,080 What the hell's going on? 198 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,580 It's 6:30 in the morning. 199 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,080 Sorry, Dad. 200 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,380 I usually take a shot 201 00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:06,500 before I start at the restaurant. 202 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,500 Sober Becky wasn't getting really good tips. 203 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,830 Here's a tip -- 204 00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:12,000 if somebody gets hurt on this job, 205 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,540 I lose my license. 206 00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:15,580 That's why I have a zero-tolerance policy 207 00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:17,580 for alcohol! 208 00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:19,080 And the union's okay with that? 209 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:22,580 Is this going to be a problem? 210 00:09:22,580 --> 00:09:24,580 Okay, fine. 211 00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:26,920 Sober Becky it is. 212 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,670 We'll all get to know her together. 213 00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:32,580 How come those glasses are still full? 214 00:09:32,580 --> 00:09:33,540 Ha ha! 215 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,710 Señoritas' night. 216 00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:36,210 I-I want to have fun. 217 00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:38,670 I just keep thinking about how David and his crazy girlfriend 218 00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:40,290 are playing house with my kids. 219 00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:41,830 Well, you're here, you're out, 220 00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:43,620 you're two shots away from losing Darlene 221 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:44,540 and discovering... 222 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:47,000 Dah-leenah! 223 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,170 Look, I know it's hard to hear, 224 00:09:53,170 --> 00:09:56,210 but David found someone, and so should you. 225 00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:58,120 There is a room full of guys here. 226 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,380 And you're a catch. 227 00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:00,620 You're an educated, 228 00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:02,670 diabetes-free woman in Lanford? 229 00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,210 There's only two of us. 230 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,210 All right, let's make this a drinking game. 231 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:10,380 Every time we spot a guy who looks like 232 00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:12,210 he doesn't have a job, we take a drink, 233 00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,620 and then you'll have the courage 234 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:15,080 to approach the ones who do. 235 00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:17,330 I'm in. 236 00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:21,580 Plaid shirt at two o'clock. Check it out. 237 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,500 He's wearing a watch with a leather band. 238 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,420 Yeah, but nobody wears a watch anymore. 239 00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,920 That means he can't afford a phone. 240 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,380 No job! 241 00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,120 Hey. 242 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,080 That guy's stitches are even. 243 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,000 Them there's doctor stitches. 244 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,080 Healthcare -- job! 245 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,580 If you're not gonna hit that, I will. 246 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:45,790 Okay, this is pathetic. 247 00:10:45,790 --> 00:10:47,920 Hunting for men or our lives aren't complete? 248 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,620 We're better than that. 249 00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:50,580 Excuse me. 250 00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:51,620 Sorry. 251 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:52,670 Can I buy you a drink? 252 00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:53,880 Oh, hi. Yeah, sure. 253 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,540 Gin and tonic? 254 00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:57,120 Yes. 255 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,330 While you're doing that, 256 00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:00,250 I'm gonna get the 411 on Stitches for ya. 257 00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:03,620 Uh, two gin and tonics, please. 258 00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:05,420 I'm sorry. W-What kind of gin do you prefer? 259 00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:06,670 Oh, you choose. 260 00:11:06,670 --> 00:11:07,880 Sure, yeah, yeah. 261 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,080 Sometimes the man chooses. [ Chuckles ] 262 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,080 Uh, well... 263 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,290 Let's see, they got the one with the fancy English guard guy. 264 00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:16,920 But, you know, once you put the tonic in, 265 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,540 it most likely is gonna taste the same anyway. 266 00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:19,710 You know what? 267 00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:21,210 We should probably be looking at tonics. 268 00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:23,460 Uh, d-do you have a list of tonics? 269 00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:24,880 Um... 270 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,120 Two English guard guys and your best tonic. 271 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,120 Y-You're not with somebody, right? 272 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,040 Oh, no, I was, but that was, like, 273 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,460 20 years ago, so I think I'm free. 274 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,120 [ Chuckles ] 275 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,790 Uh, I'm Darlene. 276 00:11:37,790 --> 00:11:38,790 I-I got to tell you, I -- 277 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,420 I love your curly hair. 278 00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:41,620 But you probably hate it, right? 279 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,540 Everybody always wants what they don't have. 280 00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:44,710 I'm sorry. 281 00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:47,170 I'm sorry. I'm kind of a direct person. 282 00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:48,750 I assume you're talking to me because, 283 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,960 at some point, you want all this small talk to lead to sex? 284 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,170 It doesn't have to. 285 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,210 No, no, no, it's okay. 286 00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:55,500 I'm seriously considering it. 287 00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:00,120 Stitches was a bust. 288 00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,290 [ Clears throat ] Horse kicked him in the head. 289 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,380 He's not all there. 290 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:09,790 ♪♪ 291 00:12:09,790 --> 00:12:10,830 Hey. 292 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,380 Oh, hey. Hi, you. 293 00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:13,920 Uh, I was just on my way out. 294 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,120 Let me get my shoes on. 295 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,120 Do you mind if we go inside and talk for a minute? 296 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,790 Oh, yeah, just -- just a minute. 297 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:23,210 I'm late to the place I was clearly on my way to. 298 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,120 I just thought I'd stop by and give you an update 299 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,670 on how things are going. 300 00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:32,880 Uh... 301 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,670 Mark's fine and... 302 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:35,920 Harris is fine, too. 303 00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:38,540 Why would you come over here 304 00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,830 to tell me everything's fine? 305 00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:41,750 All right, uh... 306 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,960 Something happened but nothing's wrong. 307 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:46,880 Does it look like I'm enjoying this game? 308 00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:52,460 Harris had a friend over, um... 309 00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:55,170 a boy... and they had sex. 310 00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:58,500 What?! 311 00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,750 Wha-- How -- What do you -- 312 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:01,120 How could you let this happen?! 313 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,540 I was at work and I-I know that's no excuse 314 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,170 and I-I feel horrible. 315 00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:06,330 Wait, w-why were you at work 316 00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:07,790 when you were supposed to be watching our kids?! 317 00:13:07,790 --> 00:13:09,040 I couldn't help it. 318 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,460 I started my job at Trader Joe's, 319 00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:11,620 and they made me work overtime 320 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:13,210 to do all the stupid chalkboards. 321 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,540 They really like my drawings, 322 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:19,540 which makes me feel good, but on the other hand -- 323 00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:20,540 David! 324 00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:21,960 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 325 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,750 Look, I-I-I was just as upset as you are right now, 326 00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,580 but... 327 00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:28,670 here's the good news. 328 00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:30,080 Blue was there 329 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,040 and Harris ended up telling her what happened 330 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,620 and they really bonded over it. 331 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:35,830 [ Scoffs ] Oh, good. 332 00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:37,670 That's the first thing I was worried about -- 333 00:13:37,670 --> 00:13:39,460 how will this affect Blue?! 334 00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:42,540 I know that there's a lot to talk about, 335 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:46,040 and we will, but I have to go to work now. 336 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,000 [ Scoffs ] I n-- I need this job. 337 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,120 They want me to open early to stock the stone fruit. 338 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,880 It -- It's actually a pretty big vote of confidence. 339 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,170 Where are you going? 340 00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:56,380 To your house to get my kids. 341 00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:57,290 Stop! 342 00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:00,880 What?! 343 00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:04,710 I don't know. I didn't expect the "stop" to work, so... 344 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,080 [ Knock on door ] 345 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,380 Where are they? 346 00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:13,710 David told me you would probably be upset. 347 00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:14,750 Come here. 348 00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:15,580 Don't touch me! 349 00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:18,210 I want my kids. 350 00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:20,710 Well, they're upstairs getting ready to go. 351 00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:22,250 Harris! 352 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,500 You know what? 353 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,250 I -- As soon as you found out this happened, 354 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:26,830 you should have called me. 355 00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,290 I don't have a cellphone. 356 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,830 They kill bees. 357 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,250 Oh, okay, I'm sorry. 358 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:36,580 See, I didn't realize you're out of your mind. 359 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,080 That explains how you got suckered into 360 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,380 letting a 16-year-old be alone with a boy. 361 00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:44,670 Harris did not trick me, okay? 362 00:14:44,670 --> 00:14:47,920 We had a very powerful discussion about sex 363 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,210 and the female body 364 00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:51,250 and getting our needs met 365 00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:52,580 before anything even happened. 366 00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:55,170 Do not move! 367 00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:58,330 You're saying you knew about this before it happened? 368 00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:02,040 You crystal-licking, patchouli-smelling hippie bitch! 369 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,290 Hey. I, uh... 370 00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:07,420 forgot my chalk. 371 00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:09,380 So... 372 00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:12,750 ...how's everything going? 373 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:16,040 Um, Darlene is working through her anger 374 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,290 to get to a more mature place. 375 00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:19,710 I will kill you! O-Okay, okay, all right. 376 00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:23,670 That's -- That's -- That's a good...starting point. 377 00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:26,080 Uh, Blue, how do you feel about Darlene wanting to... 378 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,120 kill you? 379 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,460 I think you should get her out of our house. 380 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:32,670 Oh, my pleasure, Blue. 381 00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,620 Harris, why don't you go upstairs and get your stuff 382 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,790 and find your brother and knock the crack pipe out of his hand 383 00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:38,080 and meet me in the car! 384 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,920 Hey, Mark, I'm about to talk to your sister about sex. 385 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:47,960 You want to listen in? 386 00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,330 Okay, he can't hear anything. 387 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,500 Okay, first of all... 388 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,000 ...are you okay? 389 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,330 Yes. 390 00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,620 Well, how well do you know this boy? 391 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:00,710 Pretty well. 392 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:01,880 Better now. 393 00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:06,710 Look, I know you're mad at me, but I'm not stupid. 394 00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:09,500 I've heard everything you've said to me about sex since I was 11. 395 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,710 Well, then, why didn't you come to me? 396 00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:14,210 Did you tell your mom you were going to have sex? 397 00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:17,000 No. My mom relentlessly grilled me. 398 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,880 That's why I didn't push you. 399 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,210 I was waiting for you to talk to me when you were ready. 400 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,790 [ Sighs deeply ] 401 00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:28,500 What's up? 402 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,000 Just checking my texts. 403 00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:33,670 Oh, nothing from him? 404 00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:36,080 Not yet. 405 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,380 I'm sorry. Boys can be really stupid. 406 00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,170 They're training for being men. 407 00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:42,540 [ Clears throat ] 408 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:46,250 He'll call. 409 00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:48,670 You know, or he won't, and you'll be fine either way. 410 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,960 So, your big thing is that... 411 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,880 you want me to come to you with all my personal problems and stuff, 412 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,710 and you won't judge me? 413 00:16:57,710 --> 00:17:00,000 [ Chuckles ] Yeah, that's exactly what I want. 414 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,420 Okay, then we need to stop at a drug store for a morning-after pill, 415 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:06,040 because I'm worried that we used the condom wrong. 416 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,040 I know I'm old enough to get the pill by myself, 417 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,830 but I'd feel better if you came with me. 418 00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,750 Who talks to their mom about that kind of stuff? 419 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:19,750 Hey, Deej. I bought the "Mamma Mia!" soundtrack. 420 00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:20,750 You want to listen? 421 00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:21,960 Score! Yes! 422 00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:27,290 Okay, great. I wanted to talk to you in private. 423 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,210 What's up? 424 00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:33,290 I've been thinking about what you said... 425 00:17:33,290 --> 00:17:35,670 and you're right. 426 00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:37,830 I don't actually think I can go a whole day... 427 00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:40,830 ...without drinking. 428 00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:43,170 Okay. I want to hear a plan. 429 00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:45,620 I believe I can give you 430 00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,210 a good half-day's work for now... 431 00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:51,330 ...and then work on getting the other half together. 432 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:55,000 W-What are we talkin' about? A month? A year? 433 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000 Until after Oktoberfest? 434 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,120 I forgot about Oktoberfest. I love Oktoberfest. 435 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,380 I'm gonna give you six weeks, 436 00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:06,750 and if you still don't have it under control, 437 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:07,960 I'm gonna have to pull the job. 438 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,620 I know I can stop. 439 00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:10,460 I hope so. 440 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,580 [ Loudly ] Pierce Brosnan is a much better singer 441 00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:15,830 than he gets credit for! 442 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,460 [ Knock on door ] 443 00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:26,380 Hey. What do you want? 444 00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:28,670 I'd like to say goodnight to the kids. 445 00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:30,500 Okay, Mark is already asleep, 446 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,580 but if you want, you can go tuck Harris and her boyfriend in. 447 00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:36,080 I deserve that. 448 00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:41,170 Oh, before you go up, we should talk. 449 00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:43,290 Look, I-I know I screwed up. 450 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,170 The only thing I can say is that, in the future, 451 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:47,000 I will watch her like a hawk. 452 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,580 Yeah, you better, because from now on, 453 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:51,000 they're not coming over unless you're gonna be home. 454 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,670 And Blue can't be part of parenting decisions. 455 00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:57,250 Fine. But she's going to be a part of the kids' lives. 456 00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,500 She's gonna be at all the major life events, 457 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:02,540 like high-school graduations and college drop-offs. 458 00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:03,750 Okay, great. 459 00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:05,670 If -- If any of our kids graduate from high school 460 00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,420 or go to college, 461 00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:09,330 you can bring Blue and all the rest of the primary colors. 462 00:19:11,620 --> 00:19:14,080 Will you quit making fun of her name? 463 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,540 They named her Blue 464 00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:17,080 because she wasn't breathing when she was born. 465 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,710 Wow. That explains a lot. 466 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,500 Um...there's one last thing. 467 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,170 Yeah. 468 00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:34,460 [ Voice breaking ] It's clear that things are serious 469 00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:36,000 with you and Blue, so... 470 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:41,330 ...um, I think it's time we get a divorce. 471 00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,620 Yeah, sure, no, I'm... 472 00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:44,460 It makes sense. 473 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:51,040 It's gonna be weird not being married to you. 474 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,580 Yeah, I would've thought it got weird 475 00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:54,500 when you started living with another woman, but... 476 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:55,170 [ Chuckles ] 477 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,380 Yeah. 478 00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:00,000 Yeah. 479 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,170 [ Sniffles ] 480 00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:06,380 I-It'll be weird not being married to you, too. 481 00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:07,500 [ Cellphone chimes ] 482 00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:10,420 What's up? 483 00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,080 Oh, um, nothing. 484 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,880 I don't know, actually, um... 485 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,500 I don't know why I'm hiding this. 486 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,210 Uh... 487 00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:21,920 I-I met a guy at the bar the other night, 488 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,250 and, uh, he wants to go out on Friday. 489 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:26,040 With me. 490 00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:28,920 Cool. 491 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,580 So you like him? 492 00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:36,170 Oh, I don't know. I mean, we only went out once. 493 00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:38,170 But, you know, I think he could be my soulmate. 494 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,250 They're old enough to behave like adults, 495 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,420 but they don't think like adults. 496 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,880 You just got to hang in there. 497 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,290 [ Sighs ] 498 00:20:58,290 --> 00:20:59,960 I don't know how you handled it, 499 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,830 with me sneaking in and out of Darlene's bedroom all the time. 500 00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,960 You guys were right downstairs when we were going at it. 501 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,290 We weren't exactly quiet. 502 00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:15,920 You know, David... [Sighs] 503 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:17,580 if you disappeared, 504 00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,000 everybody would think you just ran off again. 505 00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,120 I pushed too hard. I felt it.