1 00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,830 ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,354 This is cool. 3 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:07,485 I didn't know there was a book of hundreds 4 00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,052 of tattoos you could pick from. 5 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,924 I want a tattoo of all the boys in BTS. 6 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:15,363 Well, there's seven of them. You'd need two more arms. 7 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,626 What if you do four of them on Mark and then three on me? 8 00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,541 And we can walk around with our sleeves rolled up 9 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,326 and put our arms together to show people. 10 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,241 Yes, and then we can beat each other up 11 00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,765 to save the bullies a lot of time. 12 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,419 Okay, neither of you are getting a tattoo. 13 00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:29,899 It's illegal until you're 18. 14 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,335 [ Door opens ] 15 00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,773 Oh, perfect timing. Love you. Bye. 16 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:39,082 Hey, Mom, you remember how you said you would do anything 17 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,692 to help my career as a tattoo artist? 18 00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:43,217 Oh, yeah. I was lying. 19 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:44,566 Come on. Let me give you a tattoo. 20 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,698 I'll never get a part-time chair unless I have 21 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:48,700 a tattoo to show the lead artist by this weekend. 22 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,659 I might be in Hawaii this weekend. 23 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:51,964 What? 24 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,096 Ben said he didn't want to go 25 00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:54,880 and you said you'd sell the tickets. 26 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,709 Yeah, I know. People keep pointing that out. 27 00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,886 I'm still thinking about going by myself, if I have to. 28 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:03,933 Mm, well, I think you deserve it. 29 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,283 And when you get back, I'll give you a great tattoo 30 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,894 in exchange for my silence. 31 00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,896 Wish it was that easy. 32 00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,029 How can I go without telling Ben? 33 00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:15,684 Yeah, I know. It'd be lying. 34 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:19,079 No, I'm asking. How do I do this without telling Ben? 35 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,342 Wow, you're not giving this up. 36 00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,344 It must really bug you that Ben doesn't want to go. 37 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:24,954 It more than bugs me. 38 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,174 It's made me question the whole relationship. 39 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,132 Damn. Don't get between you and a luau. 40 00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:33,049 Uh, somebody left the back door open, 41 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:35,051 and I just saw a stranger run out 42 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,618 with the last beer in the fridge. 43 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:40,622 Now, it all happened so fast that I couldn't get a clear ID. 44 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:45,366 So, uh, you avoiding me? 45 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:48,717 You haven't returned my calls in a week. 46 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,850 Is this 'cause you're mad that my mom talked to your dad? 47 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,330 She didn't talk to him. 48 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:54,636 She ambushed him, 49 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,290 and you didn't do a thing about it 50 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,292 even though you know what a monster she can be. 51 00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,728 Yes. 52 00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:02,383 But, in this case, 53 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:05,168 Godzilla finally stepped on the right villager. 54 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,128 I think she did the right thing. 55 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,173 Telling my dad to sell his house 56 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,653 'cause he's trapping his kids here? 57 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,263 [ Sighs ]And she only did it 58 00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:15,657 to make up for what a terrible mom she's been to you. 59 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:18,181 This is better than her helping my sixth-grade girlfriend 60 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,965 write me an incredibly specific 61 00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,750 "I'm breaking up with you" note. 62 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:24,405 My mom thought Lisa could do better. 63 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:27,886 Certainly hasn't had that talk with me. 64 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:31,890 Okay, look, I know my mom did it the wrong way, 65 00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:35,242 but she's just trying to get us together. 66 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,331 Oh, well, if she could get us on vacation together, 67 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,419 that'd be better. 68 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,203 Are you still on that?! 69 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,552 I -- I don't even know what to say 70 00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:43,293 if you can't get the bigger picture. 71 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,425 I don't even want to talk about this anymore. 72 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,991 I don't want to talk about it anymore, either. 73 00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,645 Fine! Fine! Bye! 74 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,908 Okay, well, I guess I'll hear from you 75 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,650 when I hear from you. 76 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,305 Next thing you're gonna hear from me is "aloha." 77 00:02:57,002 --> 00:03:00,005 --Captions by VITAC-- 78 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:07,926 ♪♪ 79 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:15,760 ♪♪ 80 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:23,638 ♪♪ 81 00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:31,559 ♪♪ 82 00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,389 We were really worried when you had COVID. 83 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,086 It's so great that you're back here now. 84 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,435 Aww, I missed you guys, too. 85 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,176 Yeah, we were worried that if you died, 86 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,525 we'd never eat good again. 87 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:45,312 Oh, Mark! Mary! Dinner! 88 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,357 Oh, my God, Jackie, 89 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,533 your episode of "Jeopardy" is on tomorrow. 90 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,535 Now can you tell us what happened? 91 00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,842 Nope, not fair to the rest of America. 92 00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:56,714 The agreement said not till the show airs. 93 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:59,413 Well, your heel's still duct-taped to your shoe, 94 00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:00,675 so I'm guessing you didn't crush it. 95 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,416 Well, you don't know that. 96 00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:03,939 Why do you think lottery winners 97 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,549 keep it secret when they win? 98 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,985 They're not worried about criminals. 99 00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,248 They're worried about family. 100 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,903 The menace within. 101 00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:14,210 Hey! Hey! 102 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,646 You got out of rehab! 103 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,518 I thought that was tomorrow morning. 104 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,737 Yeah, but I wanted to sleep in my own bed tonight 105 00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:22,436 so I could cuddle up with Beverly Rose in the morning. 106 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:23,915 You should have told us you were getting out early. 107 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,874 I was gonna wait outside the walls of the joint 108 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,093 with a cheap suit and 50 bucks. 109 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:31,445 Actually, there wasn't much of a goodbye, um, 110 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:34,839 but they gave me this plant to see if I could keep it alive -- 111 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,016 which isn't very reassuring when you already have a kid. 112 00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,018 Oh, well, should I schedule you for 113 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,237 a double shift tomorrow? 114 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:43,239 Nope. No more double shifts, 115 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,719 and school is on the back burner. 116 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,329 Oh, wow. 117 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,810 So, all your motivation was in the booze, huh? 118 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,508 You're missing the point, my tiny terror. 119 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:56,687 I'm prioritizing spending more time with Beverly Rose, 120 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:59,777 working normal hours, and living a healthy life, 121 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:02,780 and helping everyone around me do the same. 122 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:05,217 Oh, I get it. Life before dreams. 123 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:08,786 See that right there? You always go negative, Darlene. 124 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,919 You say "dreams" like I'm giving something up 125 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:13,269 instead of "good for you," like Dad always says. 126 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,097 I'm positive. 127 00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:18,361 In rehab, we'd call you a "filterer," 128 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,580 and I'm supposed to avoid you. 129 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:21,625 Oh, hey, your rehab was good for me, too. 130 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,627 Sounds like your head's on straight, Beck. 131 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:27,196 Really, Dad? Another beer? 132 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,372 What's in that can? 133 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,635 Is it the foamy head of regret? 134 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:35,073 Is it the cool, clean taste of paths not taken 135 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:37,075 with bubbles of guilt? 136 00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:39,817 Based on the river it's from... 137 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,515 I'm gonna say bear pee and slugs, 138 00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,994 but I'm just trying to get a buzz. 139 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,082 [ Laughs ] 140 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:47,477 That is the classic laugh of an enabler. 141 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,306 Oh, wasn't that one of Batman's villains? 142 00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:52,047 The Enabler? 143 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,875 He wasn't violent, but he would support 144 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,964 people's bad habits until it killed 'em. 145 00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:01,099 Dan, you probably shouldn't drink in front of Becky. 146 00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:03,841 She just got here. I can't ask her to leave. 147 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,583 So, uh, Louise and I will eat 148 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:09,020 and drink out in the garage. 149 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,631 I'll join you when I'm done. 150 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,241 You know, it only takes a few people 151 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,982 to start an AA meeting. 152 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:15,636 Oh, you might have to push a little hard 153 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,028 on the garage door. 154 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:19,379 Sometimes it sticks when it's double-bolted and locked. 155 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,208 Wow. Good for you, Aunt Becky. 156 00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,994 I'm doing a presentation on addiction in Health Sciences, 157 00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:28,344 and I'm going to add in family influence. 158 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,651 Why don't you just bring me in? 159 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:33,001 Part of my rehab is being of service to others. 160 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:36,091 W-Well, I was gonna do a graph with a beer bottle 161 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:38,093 to show how your life goes down along with 162 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:40,530 the level of beer in the bottle, so I don't know. 163 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:44,447 That's a B-minus, maybe a C-plus. 164 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:48,016 You have a real-life alcoholic in your home, 165 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,279 and what does "alcoholism" start with? 166 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,802 An "A"! 167 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,501 ♪♪ 168 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,764 [ Sighs ] Hey. 169 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,722 Hey. 170 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,856 My, uh, sister's coming back to work tomorrow from rehab. 171 00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,945 Spoiler alert -- she's high on life, 172 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,947 and it's gonna make you want to drink. 173 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,905 Not me. 174 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:10,691 I don't need alcohol to feel good about the world. 175 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:14,085 There's mushrooms, peyote, those frogs you can lick. 176 00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:17,524 So, um... 177 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,613 I don't know what you're doing this weekend, 178 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:22,529 but how would you like to go to Hawaii? 179 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:25,967 Are you serious? 180 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,272 Pff. 181 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,187 Hell, yeah. 182 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,972 So, uh, what? 183 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,539 You couldn't change your boyfriend's mind, huh? 184 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:36,456 Uh, no. I -- I didn't ask him again. 185 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,457 Ah. 186 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,461 You know what? Good for you. 187 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,375 You don't need a man to tell you 188 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,073 to go have fun with another man. 189 00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,291 [ Chuckles ] 190 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,859 Great relationship advice for any situation. 191 00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,121 Thank you. 192 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,862 You're gonna love Hawaii. It's amazing. 193 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,734 I know so many cool things to do. 194 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,431 There's this one place where you can zip line 195 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,912 over an active volcano. 196 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,304 Oh, great. 197 00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,480 You do that, and I'll be swimming 198 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,003 in a crystal clear lagoon. 199 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,440 If the volcano doesn't roast you like a pig, we'll have lunch. 200 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,442 [ Cellphone chimes ] 201 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,011 Ah, crap. 202 00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,012 "Crap," what? 203 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,014 That's not your boyfriend, is it? 204 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,929 I already booked us a shark dive. 205 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,713 No. 206 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,933 It's his mom. She wants to have dinner. 207 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,891 I'd rather do the shark dive 208 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,807 wearing a dress made out of bloody seals. 209 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,722 Don't book that. I'm kidding, you know? 210 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,251 Your brain isn't fully developed until you're 25, 211 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,906 and drinking can interfere with that. 212 00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:39,997 Throw in you being on social media 11 hours a day, 213 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:43,566 and you're gonna end up a generation of morons. 214 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:46,482 So, get it together, kids. 215 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:50,225 Uh, we still have a half-hour. Anybody have any questions? 216 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,270 So, it's okay to drink as much as you want 217 00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,490 afteryou turn 25? 218 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,187 It's a slippery slope. 219 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,363 First, you take a drink. 220 00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,930 Then your drink takes a drink. 221 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,585 Then your drink orders 10 tequila shots, 222 00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:04,413 and you end up having unprotected sex in a freezer 223 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,981 with a total stranger. 224 00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,765 My story. 225 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,463 What a good answer. 226 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,161 So, thanks for coming by, Aunt Becky, 227 00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,728 and I'll see you at home. 228 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,426 How do you know if you're gonna be an addict 229 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,297 and not just a person who drinks once in a while? 230 00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,212 Well, I don't know about anybody else, 231 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:23,650 but I can tell you about you. 232 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,696 You've been chewing on that pencil pretty good. 233 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,090 That's an early indication of anxiety. 234 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,396 If you don't get to the bottom of that, 235 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,529 you're gonna end up doing nitrous poppers 236 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,400 under a bridge with some deranged dentist. 237 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:40,623 My mom says I just need to play outside more. 238 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,626 Mark, why don't you help your aunt out to her car? 239 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,019 Come on, Aunt Becky. 240 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,195 We're cutting into time for our chapter on domestic abuse. 241 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:50,894 Ooh! A lot of domestic abuse is alcohol-related. 242 00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:54,550 One of the women in my group set her husband on fire. 243 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,422 It's okay! He lived! 244 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:01,818 You have the board, Jackie. 245 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:03,646 "Her-story" for $2,000, Aaron. 246 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,996 She led the French against the English 247 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,345 in the Hundred Years' War. 248 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:08,390 Jackie? 249 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,609 Who is Edith Piaf? 250 00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,350 No. 251 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,700 Maryann or Brock? 252 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,701 [ Beep] 253 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,659 We were looking for Joan of Arc. 254 00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,227 Well, there are two correct answers, then. 255 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:22,230 Edith Piaf, "La Vie En Rose," War of the Roses. 256 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,319 I'm sure the judges would accept either. 257 00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,582 No, Edith Piaf is a French singer, 258 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,671 and those are two entirely different wars. 259 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,892 I know the histoire de la guerre. 260 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:34,111 Uh, we're really gonna do this? 261 00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:36,200 That's the end of Double Jeopardy!, 262 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,681 and, Jackie, I am sorry, but you're in the negative, 263 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,944 and you're not gonna be around to play Final Jeopardy! 264 00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:43,947 Great news for Maryann and Brock -- you will be. 265 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:46,384 And tonight, our category is... 266 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,256 Famous Cats. 267 00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:49,605 Make your wagers, players. 268 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,172 [ Sighs ] And we will be right -- 269 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:51,955 [ Television shuts off ] 270 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,048 Well, you were on "Jeopardy!" 271 00:10:58,048 --> 00:10:59,615 They can't take that away from you. 272 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,357 No. No, sir, they cannot. 273 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,620 The important thing is you had fun. 274 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,622 You had fun, right? 275 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,842 Fun? What are you talking about? 276 00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,974 She just exploded all over national television. 277 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,498 I think I saw little bits of her on the camera lens. 278 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,326 Oop.[ Cellphone rings ] 279 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:19,243 Well, hold on, because you don't know the whole story. 280 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,897 Oh, hi, Mom. 281 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:23,291 Why did you think you had to go on a show 282 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,858 where you have to know things? 283 00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:27,295 Why couldn't you just go on a show 284 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,993 where you have to be naked and afraid? 285 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,517 What's the name of that show? 286 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,345 "Naked and Afraid"? 287 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,956 That's the one. 288 00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:38,349 You'd think by now you'd know you can't do anything 289 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,351 you set your mind to. 290 00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:43,659 Yeah, I still have that pencil case you wrote that on. 291 00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:46,618 You're a small person. Live a small life. 292 00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:50,579 That way, no one else knows when you're failing. 293 00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:53,887 It's like passing gas in the bathtub. 294 00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:56,019 You should be taking showers, Mom. 295 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,717 It's easier to slip that way. 296 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,937 But, um, just for your information, 297 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:02,896 I was about to tell everybody here 298 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,985 that right when they went to commercial, 299 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,769 they realized that my buzzer was broken, 300 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,640 so they're bringing me back to be on a future show 301 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,772 to make up for their mistake. 302 00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:10,686 Oh. Hey. 303 00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,862 It's your decision, dear. 304 00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:16,474 All I'm saying is, if at first you don't succeed, 305 00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,694 get the message. 306 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:19,956 You're a failure. 307 00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,743 All right, then. I love you. 308 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,918 Bye! 309 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:29,487 [ Groans ] 310 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,840 I'm -- I'm Ben's mother, Barb. 311 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:34,841 Oh. 312 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,843 You must be Dan Conner's girlfriend. 313 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,496 Yes, I am. 314 00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,803 You're riding that rock 'n' roll horse 315 00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,893 till it drops, aren't you? 316 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,374 Well, aren't you a sassy old bitch. 317 00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:47,679 Thank you. 318 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,638 I think -- I think it's a crime that people 319 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,379 aren't more honest with each other. 320 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,076 Yeah, and I think it's a crime we're not allowed 321 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:55,513 to hit our customers, but here we are. 322 00:12:57,298 --> 00:13:00,083 Oh, Barb, this is Louise. 323 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,172 I see you've danced with the cobra. 324 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,392 Just give us a minute to look at the menu. 325 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:05,610 I'll give you till tomorrow. 326 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,960 That's my day off. 327 00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:11,051 Must be a burden being liked by everyone. 328 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:14,837 Look, I-I should just say that it was not my intention 329 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,231 to create problems between you and Ben. 330 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,886 What I was trying to do was create problems 331 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,497 between you and your father. 332 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,064 Oh, well, the important thing is, 333 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:26,196 you were trying to create problems. 334 00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,850 You know what? 335 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:30,461 This is gonna go a lot better if I have something to drink, 336 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:33,073 and since Louise is wisely never coming back, 337 00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:34,465 can I get you something? 338 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,990 Yeah, a margarita, frozen, no salt, 339 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,470 slice of lime, brandy floater. 340 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,168 You'll get what you get. 341 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,824 [ Cellphone vibrates ] 342 00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:02,493 [ Sighs ] 343 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,365 What the hell are you doing? 344 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,932 Don't be rude. 345 00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:08,151 I'm just trying to read your texts. 346 00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:11,720 It's from someone named Jeff who is talking about 347 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,809 the two of you going to Hawaii. 348 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,073 I-I thought you sold those tickets. 349 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,683 That's what Ben said. 350 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,337 Uh, well, I didn't. 351 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:23,514 And, yes, I-I'm going to Hawaii with Jefflene. 352 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,342 [ Laughs ] 353 00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:28,258 Am I supposed to believe that's a girl's name? 354 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:30,478 Nobody does. That's why she goes by "Jeff." 355 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,480 [ Laughs ] 356 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,396 So, you're going to Hawaii with another guy? 357 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:38,747 All right, look, it's completely platonic, 358 00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,967 and I begged Ben to go with me. 359 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,838 Is that supposed to excuse it? 360 00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,710 Well, four days in Hawaii is not gonna hurt anybody. 361 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,364 Then why are you sneaking? 362 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:50,846 Because Ben wants me to sell the tickets to pay for bills. 363 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:51,891 He doesn't get it. 364 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,544 I'm trying to live in the moment, 365 00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:55,155 and now you're gonna tell Ben, 366 00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,678 and it's all gonna get blown out of proportion. 367 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,201 No, no. 368 00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,811 I'm not going to tell Ben 369 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:03,511 because I'm hoping that you will do the right thing. 370 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,861 You're looking at someone who made a mistake 371 00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:08,559 under the guise of living in the moment. 372 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:12,737 It wrecked my relationship with my husband and with my son, 373 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:15,523 and it ruined my life. 374 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:18,178 Is that what you want? 375 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:21,659 Look, my friend died, and it made me realize 376 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:25,272 that we have like 15 minutes on this planet. 377 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:28,144 At the end, she was just trying to live her life to the fullest, 378 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,233 and that's all I'm trying to do. 379 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,757 Yeah, well, Ben is spending his 15 minutes 380 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:36,239 living in the hardware store to try to make this work. 381 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:40,069 How do you define "living life to the fullest," Darlene? 382 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:44,073 Four days in Hawaii, or sacrificing something -- 383 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,554 like he is -- to be with someone 384 00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:49,252 who's going to love you for the rest of your life? 385 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:54,127 Well, if I say Hawaii now, it's gonna look bad. 386 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,917 Penny for your thoughts? 387 00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,006 I lied, Neville. 388 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,052 "Jeopardy!" isn't actually bringing me back. 389 00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,143 Here's what happened. 390 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,188 And we are clear. 391 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,016 Hey. Get the -- 392 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,497 Aaron, I have to talk to you. 393 00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:20,283 I mean, I'm sorry, but I really should be advancing, too. 394 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,111 I had every right answer. 395 00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,156 Yeah, but you said it after you heard 396 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,245 one of the other contestants say it first. 397 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,029 I -- It's -- Okay, I think that there's 398 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,291 something wrong with the buzzer. 399 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,424 Could it be possible that maybe you were just 400 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:31,947 pressing it a little bit late? 401 00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:35,168 Well, then, how do you explain this? 402 00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:36,734 Oh, yeah, su-- 403 00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:39,302 Well, now that it's not costing you a dime, it works great. 404 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,217 Look, the rules are the rules, and I'm sorry, 405 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,653 but you're not gonna advance to Final Jeopardy! 406 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,655 Just t-this. 407 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:47,006 I've been feeling this all game. 408 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,007 I understand. 409 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,399 I know you have to be hard on me 410 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:50,661 because you're feeling guilty 411 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,576 about the obvious chemistry here. 412 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:55,188 Between who and who? 413 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,841 In the meantime, why don't you throw 414 00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:59,192 a couple thousand bucks into my account 415 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,976 'cause of the faulty buzzer, and then, uh, 416 00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:03,544 we can play ourselves some Final Jeopardy! 417 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,762 [ Laughs ] 418 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,112 Uh... Come on, man. 419 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,852 Man, ple-- [ Laughs ] 420 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:09,680 My mother's gonna be watching this, 421 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,770 and I really don't want to disappoint her again. 422 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,685 How about, instead, I just walk you to your car, 423 00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,252 and we'll make a little video for your mother. 424 00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:19,429 Yeah, that'd be so helpful. [ Laughs ] 425 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:20,474 Okay. 426 00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,129 Uh, she's not really a sports person, 427 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:26,480 so if you could just say you're Jon Hamm. 428 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,352 Sure, you got it. [ Laughs ] 429 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:31,441 Look, just meet me outside, and, uh, you know, 430 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,790 I'll be right there after Final Jeopardy! 431 00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,314 Thank you, "Jon." 432 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:38,535 He was full of crap. 433 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:41,756 They had me in handcuffs the second I hit the parking lot. 434 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,715 I should have told everybody the truth, but I was so ashamed. 435 00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:47,022 And now I'm just gonna have to fess up and be the failure 436 00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:49,155 my mother always told me that I would be. 437 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:52,245 No. Not this time. I know just what to do. 438 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,334 Okay, text your mother this. Trust me. 439 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,900 Okay. 440 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,468 "To my lifelong adversary. 441 00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:02,472 I am going to turn this failure into a success so big 442 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,865 that you will choke on it." 443 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:06,128 "And finally be dead"? 444 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,869 No, we're taking the high ground. 445 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:08,957 Send it. 446 00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,350 [ Cellphone chimes ] 447 00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,656 Oh, wow. [ Laughs ] This is amazing. 448 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:13,875 So, what's the plan? 449 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,094 I have no idea. 450 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,139 What? I sent it already. 451 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,358 What do we do now?I-I don't know. 452 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,924 I mean, I came up with the text plan. 453 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:20,795 Now you do something. 454 00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,318 But you don't even have an idea? 455 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,277 We'll come up with something. 456 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:26,409 Imagine how embarrassed you'll be if we don't. 457 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,194 [ Chuckles ] 458 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,284 Okay, she's here. [ Clears throat ] 459 00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,850 [ Clears throat ] 460 00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:36,071 Hey. 461 00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:37,507 What's going on? 462 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:42,033 Becky, uh, everybody here wants the best for you, 463 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,905 but you're hurting the people that you love. 464 00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,733 This is an intervention. 465 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,169 What? I'm not drinking. 466 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,389 That's the problem. 467 00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:51,782 So, you want me to start drinking? 468 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,741 No, no, of course not. 469 00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,309 We're all very proud of what you've accomplished. 470 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:59,312 We just want you to shut up about it. 471 00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,749 Oh, I get it. 472 00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:04,360 They warned me in rehab that you guys wouldn't be as healthy 473 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,449 as I am and there'd be push-back. 474 00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,845 So, I'm just gonna have to be really patient with all of you, 475 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,761 and then you can come to me when your lives fall apart. 476 00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,110 That's all we're asking for. 477 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,418 Uh, oh, you know what? 478 00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:19,984 Could you all stay here for a second? 479 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,552 I'd like to say something, and I'd like y'all to hear it. 480 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,206 [ All groaning ] 481 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:29,603 So, I need to confess something to Ben. 482 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:34,651 I didn't sell the Hawaii tickets when I told you that I did, 483 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:37,437 and I feel terrible. 484 00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:41,267 But Molly died, and I was thinking about my mortality, 485 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,617 and that can make you do really stupid things. 486 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,662 But I've sold the tickets now, 487 00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:48,578 and I'm putting the money towards my dad's mortgage, 488 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:51,973 and I cannot wait to move in together, 489 00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,670 and I love you. 490 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:57,283 Well, thank you for those very private thoughts 491 00:19:57,283 --> 00:20:00,373 in front of your entire family. 492 00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:02,070 I'm happy to hear that you can't wait 493 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,594 to move in with me for the fourth or fifth time. 494 00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:07,249 And, uh, thank you, once again, for saying 495 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,730 that you won't lie to me right after you do. 496 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:14,038 It's been a long journey back to where I thought we were, 497 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,215 but by God, we're there. 498 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,132 Uh, okay, I deserved that, 499 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:24,745 but I have one more thing to show you how much I care. 500 00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:27,443 Please, everybody, step into the kitchen. 501 00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,184 [ All groaning ] 502 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:35,059 It's poker night with the newest member of our family, 503 00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,105 Barb Olinsky! 504 00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:39,977 [ Laughs ] 505 00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:42,893 What do you say, Dan? Let bygones be bygones? 506 00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,635 Sure! Nice watch, Barb. 507 00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:47,333 Thanks, Dan. It's a woman's watch. 508 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,030 Won't be when it's on my wrist, Barb. 509 00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,949 I bet 25.Hmm. 510 00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,647 Saw you on "Jeopardy!," Jackie. 511 00:20:57,647 --> 00:21:00,476 Hope you don't fold here the way you folded there. 512 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:01,956 Ben: Oh, Mom. 513 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,306 Don't bite, Jackie. She's just baiting you. 514 00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:05,699 She doesn't scare me. 515 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:08,092 All in. 516 00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:11,008 Oh! [ Laughs ] Oh! 517 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,923 Three queens. Sweet. 518 00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:16,318 Yeah, the full Edith Piaf! 519 00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:20,453 Wrong answer again! 520 00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:21,541 Three aces. 521 00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:22,890 [ Becky gasps ] Ugh. 522 00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:24,761 Hey, Becky. 523 00:21:24,761 --> 00:21:26,720 Barb's on her third glass of wine. 524 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,808 Get her.