1 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,225 Happy belated birthday! 2 00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,271 My birthday was like a month ago. 3 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:13,100 Well, it took me this long to find you the perfect present. 4 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,103 Holy crap. 5 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,279 Is that one of those giant coffee table books? 6 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:19,758 Yep. 7 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,282 It's one of those gifts that looks impressive 8 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:23,153 but is actually really cheap, right? 9 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,677 Well, that's what made it so perfect. 10 00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,854 I got it for 25 cents at a yard sale. 11 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,553 This old lady with arthritis couldn't even lift it anymore, 12 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:35,470 so she dragged it in by a wagon to show it to me. 13 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:42,477 Wow, a book about famous castles. 14 00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:45,175 How did you know about my love for giant stone houses? 15 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,701 This is the same book Meghan Markle looks at 16 00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,703 when she's filled with regret. 17 00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:56,839 So, you never told me -- what did Josh give you? 18 00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,451 You're the first woman in the family to date a rich guy. 19 00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:03,150 I once got an expensive silk scarf, 20 00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:05,369 but the guy's wife came and took it back. 21 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,329 Oh, well, uh, Josh was supposed to take me 22 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,374 to his family's vacation house in South Haven, 23 00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,334 but, uh, I haven't really heard from him in a while. 24 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,118 How long's a while? 25 00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:16,815 I don't know, like a-a couple of weeks. 26 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,513 A couple of weeks? 27 00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:20,776 You guys were all over each other 24/7. 28 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,386 I know. 29 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,779 Just please don't tell Mom about it. 30 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:25,868 She'll blow this way out of proportion. 31 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:28,871 He's probably just protesting somewhere with no cell service. 32 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,395 I'm sure he'll get me something great when he gets back. 33 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:34,094 Harris, sweet Harris. 34 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,226 We're all raised to believe in the fairy tale. 35 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,662 You know the one. 36 00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,664 It's 3:00 in the morning at some dive bar 37 00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,362 and you see him 38 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,886 scratching his head with a fork in the cutest way. 39 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,889 He puts out a cigarette in his leftover nachos 40 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,500 and approaches you, and you think 41 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:52,547 "This is the start of something beautiful," 42 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,723 so you spend the night with him. 43 00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:57,987 But you wake up the next morning and he's gone. 44 00:01:58,161 --> 00:01:59,728 And so is your toaster oven. 45 00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:05,603 And you sit there eating your soft, dry bread, thinking, 46 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:09,216 "Damn, he got the coffee maker, too." 47 00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:13,872 Why don't you look at the castles 48 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,744 and pretend you're a princess? 49 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,575 I don't understand why we can't have waffles. 50 00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,446 Grandpa has syrup right there. 51 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,884 Uh, that is pure maple syrup that I bought for your grandpa. 52 00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,495 That stuff is like gold. 53 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,671 We're not gonna waste it on your unevolved palates. 54 00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:33,240 We'll get you a jug of the cheap stuff 55 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,590 whenever we get a coupon for it. 56 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:39,159 I'll add that to my list for Child Protective Services. 57 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,422 I've had previous grievances. 58 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,947 Oh, wow. 59 00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:47,428 Here's a picture of a woman who's over 100 years old. 60 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,647 In 1918, she had the Spanish flu, 61 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,780 and in 2020, she beat Covid. 62 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,260 Twice. 63 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,218 Man, I wish I had her genes. 64 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:57,264 But not her luck. 65 00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:58,787 What do you got for me? 66 00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,398 Um, a woman made her family move into the garage 67 00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:02,921 because she didn't want to get Covid, 68 00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,793 so she got a cat for company. 69 00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,925 And then she tripped over the cat on the stairs 70 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,013 and broke her neck. 71 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,493 [ Chuckles ] 72 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:10,755 As soon as we knock out this Covid thing, 73 00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,670 we gotta go after cats. 74 00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:16,152 Can we just enjoy sitting down to one meal 75 00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,806 without talking about Covid? 76 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,547 There's plenty of other tragic events 77 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,636 for you two to find hilarious. 78 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,116 Homicides are up everywhere. 79 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,814 Enjoy. 80 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,685 Well, this is how we deal with this stuff. 81 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:30,514 You can either laugh or cry, and we choose to laugh about it. 82 00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,212 Oh, by the way, Mom, I don't have 83 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,822 basketball practice tomorrow. 84 00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,563 They said there's a leak in the gym roof 85 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:36,999 and the floor isn't safe. 86 00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,479 Oh, nope, that's a lie. 87 00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:40,002 The parents got an e-mail saying 88 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:42,091 that your coach just tested positive. 89 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,268 C-Coach Kazmerick? 90 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,617 Is he okay? 91 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,706 Yeah, he'll probably be fine. 92 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,752 The good news is if enough kids have to quarantine, 93 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,841 you might actually get a chance to play. 94 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,542 Do you think there's a reason 95 00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:01,023 they didn't tell the kids about the coach? 96 00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,460 Oh, he would've heard it from his friends anyway. 97 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,854 I think it's a mistake constantly hammering him 98 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,248 with all this Covid stuff. 99 00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,685 He's gonna develop an obsession with it. 100 00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:13,862 I-I just got him talking about it, which is healthy. 101 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,559 I started having panic attacks 102 00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,300 because I wasn't talking about my anxieties. 103 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,476 Yeah, fair enough, but m-maybe you could try 104 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,609 mixing some good news in with it. 105 00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,393 Uh, I-I mean, I read this morning 106 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,613 more and more people are surviving the virus. 107 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,398 Well, Mark's a smart kid. He knows it goes beyond that. 108 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,879 He knows some of them wind up with heart problems, 109 00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:33,229 lung problems, memory problems. 110 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:34,970 See, there's your good news. 111 00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,233 Those people won't remember what it was like to be healthy. 112 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,543 --Captions by VITAC-- 113 00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:50,551 ♪ 114 00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:58,515 ♪ 115 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:06,523 ♪ 116 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:14,618 ♪ 117 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:20,537 That was so sweet for you to get this for Beverly Rose, Dad, 118 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,061 but don't you think the way her legs wrap around the seat 119 00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:25,063 will make her bowlegged? 120 00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:27,892 Well, if it does, it'll make it much easier 121 00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,416 for her to ride a horse. 122 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,941 Don't repeat this to your sister. 123 00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,856 I'm listening. 124 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,641 Dad, I need to talk to you about Josh... 125 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,774 Ehh. ...that rich kid that Harris is in love with. 126 00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,166 Oh, I like him. 127 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,254 He gives me cash to leave the room 128 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,126 so they can make out. 129 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,607 Invest that wisely. That's your college fund. 130 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,131 So, Harris thinks he's out of town, 131 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,133 but I saw him at his parents' house 132 00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,961 watching "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" 133 00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:55,964 on the biggest projection TV I have ever seen. 134 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,487 I mean, the picture was so clear, 135 00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:00,142 it was like I was in the parade. 136 00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:03,145 You were spying on this guy and you stayed to watch the movie? 137 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,060 I already had a comfortable position in the tree, 138 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,541 and that movie really holds up. 139 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:08,890 Should I tell Harris? 140 00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:11,066 Nehh. Tell Darlene. It's her kid. 141 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,634 I'm Harris' brother. Can I please tell her? 142 00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:16,332 No. There's $5 in my purse. 143 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:17,681 You can have it if you leave now. 144 00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:18,900 You don't have a purse. 145 00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,163 I don't have $5, either. Get out. 146 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,341 [ Sighs ] I don't know what to do. 147 00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,778 Darlene warned Harris about Josh, 148 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:30,694 but she doesn't want the "I told you so." 149 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:35,264 I can't just sit back and watch Harris be blindsided like this. 150 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:36,787 I know how much that hurts. 151 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,920 Hey, Grandpa, you might want to check on Mary. 152 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,356 She doesn't know how to work the remote 153 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,836 and she just ordered "Mulan" four times. 154 00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,925 Aah! That's 120 bucks! 155 00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:49,104 I'm so glad you came in here. 156 00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:50,888 There's something I need to show you. 157 00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:54,892 I took this yesterday. 158 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,895 Josh has been at his parents' house the whole time. 159 00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,028 That piece of crap. 160 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:02,726 He said he loved me. Things were going great with us. 161 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,685 I'm really sorry. 162 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,817 He owes you an explanation. 163 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,428 Why? 164 00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,691 It's over. There's nothing I can do. 165 00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,432 Yes, there is. 166 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:15,043 Nobody has the right to disrespect you like that. 167 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,740 You deserve some closure. 168 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,613 You let one guy get away with treating you badly, 169 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,398 it's easier to let the next guy do it to you, too. 170 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:26,010 Just don't want to be some creepy ex-girlfriend stalker. 171 00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:27,882 I don't know why that's gotten such a bad rap. 172 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,189 You need to go over there 173 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:34,062 and show him you will not be ignored. 174 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,020 Maybe you boil his rabbit. 175 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,369 What the hell are you talking about? 176 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,415 Boil his rabbit? That's horrible. 177 00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,504 Oh, you never saw that movie. 178 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,985 It's about this perfectly reasonable woman 179 00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,334 who gets the short end of the stick. 180 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,857 We'll watch it later. 181 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,730 Oh, God. [ Crying ] I can't believe this. 182 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:50,905 What's wrong? 183 00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,342 I don't want your father to hear. 184 00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,605 I went to visit Roseanne's grave 185 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,520 because it'd been almost two years. 186 00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:58,956 Why are you freaking out? 187 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:00,175 Wait, was she not there? 188 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,481 No, she's there. 189 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:02,612 But now there's a tombstone 190 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:05,093 right next to hers that says, 191 00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,748 "I can't believe they stuck me next to this bitch." 192 00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:08,923 [ Gasps ] 193 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,838 That is horrible. Who is it? 194 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,840 You remember the Remschlatters? 195 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,189 You have to be more specific. 196 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:15,930 There's a lot of Remschlatters out there. 197 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,497 Paul Remschlatter. 198 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,586 The guy down the street who used to put his trash 199 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,718 in our cans when his were full. 200 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,590 Oh, I remember that. 201 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:27,115 And then Mom took the trash cans and dumped them out on his lawn. 202 00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,160 You know, after we picked out all his recyclables. 203 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,684 Yeah, so that went on for years, 204 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:32,773 and now he's trying to have the last laugh. 205 00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,818 Not on my watch. What are you gonna do? 206 00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,864 I don't know, but I have to defend my sister 207 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:38,256 because she can't. 208 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,563 And she always defended me. 209 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,652 Was that after I left the house? 210 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,916 Because all I remember is her relentlessly mocking you. 211 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,309 Tomato, potato! 212 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,398 She was a wonderful person! 213 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,009 ♪ 214 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,882 Mulan is so brave. 215 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,798 She took her father's place in the war to protect him. 216 00:08:57,972 --> 00:08:59,669 That's a good daughter. 217 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,672 Hey, when you drop your phone, 218 00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:05,196 I pick it up so you don't have to bend over. 219 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:07,634 Yeah, okay. 220 00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,766 Do you think my arm looks swollen? 221 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,768 It's a lot bigger than the other one, right? 222 00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,379 They both look exactly the same. 223 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,338 What's going on? 224 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,645 Well, Mom sent me this article that said some Covid patients 225 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,516 experience inflammation in their veins 226 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,910 when they first get it and it makes their arms swell up. 227 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,477 Well, it doesn't look swollen, but is it sore? 228 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:26,914 I don't know. Maybe. 229 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,003 This is exactly what I'm talking about. 230 00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,527 Why are you sending articles like that to him? 231 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,137 No, it's okay. I asked her. 232 00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:34,835 No, it's not okay. 233 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,314 I'm just gonna go upstairs and rent this again 234 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,534 on my computer where I can hear it. 235 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,449 [ Scoffs ] 236 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,538 Mark, go outside and shoot some hoops, buddy. 237 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,192 I need to talk to your mom. 238 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:49,110 No, I don't need to talk to you. I know what I'm doing. 239 00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:51,242 I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let that kid 240 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,157 think he's got Covid. 241 00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,899 The only reason he thinks he's got vein inflammation 242 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,032 is because you keep pushing this crap on him. 243 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,077 No, I'm not pushing anything on him. 244 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:02,819 He asked me about it, and I'm not gonna lie to him. 245 00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:06,257 That's a parent's job. You have to lie to them. 246 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:09,130 Kids can't handle everything that goes on in the world. 247 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,653 That's just common sense, right? 248 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,916 Sure, kids are fragile. That's common sense. 249 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:16,180 No. The entire world is on their phones now. 250 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,052 You can't hide the truth from them anymore. 251 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,836 And if you do, they're just not gonna trust you. 252 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,185 Oh, yeah, no. 253 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,796 If you don't have trust, you got nothing. 254 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,798 It's not so much a matter of trust 255 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,714 as it is making the kid feel safe and secure. 256 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,368 Remember when D.J. had strep throat? 257 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,936 We calmed him down by telling him he was gonna live forever. 258 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:36,331 You can't go by him. You can't cure stupid. 259 00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:40,074 [ Groaning ] I'm having really bad pains in my stomach. 260 00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:41,336 Where does it hurt? 261 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,077 Upper stomach? Lower stomach? 262 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,469 Did you go to the bathroom today? 263 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,168 Yes. It really hurts. Is it Covid? 264 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,430 You know what? We're gonna go to urgent care. 265 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:49,431 Yeah, that's what I'd do. 266 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,172 It's a stomach ache. 267 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,043 Let him lay down and see if he's better in a half an hour. 268 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,871 You're right. We might be overreacting. 269 00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:57,134 No, we're going. Are you coming, Jackie? 270 00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,745 Well, maybe I should. 271 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,398 Unless Dan wants me to stay here for supper. 272 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:01,356 You should go, Jackie. 273 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:02,662 Okay. 274 00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:11,758 Ms. Harris? 275 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,455 Yeah. Don Blansky. 276 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,457 I'm the director of the Forest Hills cemetery. 277 00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,328 Oh, hi. Thank you so much for coming. 278 00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:18,982 Call me Jackie. Oh. 279 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,984 And I'm sorry I had to push our appointment. 280 00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,726 I had to take my grand-nephew to urgent care. 281 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,772 Oh, anything serious, or...? 282 00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,208 Oh, no, no. Don't get excited. 283 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,340 He's fine. [ Laughs ] 284 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:32,387 But I made you some pie to nosh on while we talk. 285 00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:35,303 So, I imagine you're probably wondering 286 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,913 why I invited you here. 287 00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:38,523 Uh, well, no. Not really. 288 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,177 I mean, getting wined and dined 289 00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:42,136 is all part of the job these days. 290 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,138 Ah, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. 291 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,270 Everyone's trying to get a good spot. 292 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:47,968 It's not like high school. 293 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,710 Everybody wants to be Don Blansky's friend now. 294 00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,494 Ooh. [ Chuckles ] 295 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,757 Well, I'm glad you're doing well, 296 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,499 even if it is for all the wrong, ghoulish reasons. 297 00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,675 Mm. I don't wish anyone ill. 298 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,678 But when a jock who bullied me dies, 299 00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:06,638 you know, a nerd gets a Porsche, you feel me? 300 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:09,380 I'm trying not to. But, uh -- [ Laughs ] 301 00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,818 No, I-I actually don't need a spot. 302 00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:14,298 I just need a small, itty-bitty, little favor. 303 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,865 [ Both chuckle ] 304 00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:18,694 I would like you to dig up Paul Remschlatter 305 00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,261 and move him. 306 00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,045 We don't really dig people up, you know. 307 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,744 Unless the authorities figure out something like, uh, 308 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:27,050 you know, his wife cashed a big life-insurance check, 309 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,052 so maybe he didn't shoot himself in the back of the head. 310 00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:31,098 That kind of thing. Mm, well, yeah. 311 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,013 That's not my situation. 312 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,797 Well, what's the issue with Remschlatter? 313 00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,408 Uh, the issue is that his headstone 314 00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:40,368 is insulting my sister who's buried right next to him. 315 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,762 Oh! The -- The "bitch" one, right? 316 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,111 Yeah. [ Laughing ] Yeah. 317 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:46,113 Yeah, why would you allow that? 318 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:48,855 Well, it was the deceased's last request, 319 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,552 and it's -- it's kind of funny. 320 00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,860 People think we have no sense of humor, but we do. 321 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,036 We're just people. 322 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,690 Okay, look, I -- 323 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,301 Here's what it is. 324 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:03,304 I never thought that I would outlive my older sister. 325 00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:04,740 I was a cop. 326 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:07,003 I was a trucker who fell asleep a lot. 327 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:09,919 But I'm still going, and she's not, 328 00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:14,010 and so the least I can do is to take care of her memory. 329 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,359 Okay, look. 330 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:16,796 I'm sorry about your sister, 331 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,362 but, you know, there's nothing I can do. 332 00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:19,973 We -- We signed a contract. 333 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,757 Well, what's Remschlatter gonna do? 334 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,324 Take you to court? He's dead! 335 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:24,978 Well, everyone I work with is dead. 336 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:26,501 That's not an arguing point. 337 00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,808 Look, most people will think it's the woman 338 00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,592 on the other side of him, okay? 339 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,725 I'm sure everyone knows your sister was a nice person. 340 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,989 Well, that's where you're wrong, my friend. 341 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,773 Good day to you. 342 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,472 [ Doorbell ringing ] 343 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,952 Josh! It's Harris! 344 00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,432 I know you're in there! Come out! 345 00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:46,042 What are you doing? 346 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,175 Pizza Express! 347 00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:51,134 Guys hate confrontation, but they love pizza. 348 00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:53,310 Josh! 349 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:54,964 I just want to talk! 350 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,141 He's never gonna come out. 351 00:13:58,315 --> 00:13:59,621 I feel so stupid. Let's just go. 352 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,623 Oh, I got a way to get him out. 353 00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,197 Geez! First the rabbit, now a bat? 354 00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:13,591 God, you're a psycho. This is why you're single. 355 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:16,681 Calm down. We're gonna destroy his mailbox. 356 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,161 Once he sees that, he'll come out. 357 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:24,864 [ Bat clanks ] 358 00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:26,778 Whoa! 359 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,737 That stung a little. 360 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,088 If this was a cartoon, I'd be vibrating right now. 361 00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,482 You have lost some rage since you had that baby. 362 00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,092 Let me take a shot. 363 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:37,659 [ Bat clanks ] 364 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,966 I felt that one in my teeth. 365 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,839 Okay. 366 00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:47,190 [ Clanking continues ] 367 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:48,452 [ Breathing heavily ] 368 00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:51,412 He may be too wealthy to vandalize. 369 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:55,895 Their mail must be much more important than ours. 370 00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:59,986 God, it's taking a long time for the doctor 371 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,509 to give us Mark's test results. 372 00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:03,293 I'm sure he's fine, sweetie. 373 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,774 The doctor is probably just ripping somebody else off 374 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,298 for a $300, two-minute video chat. 375 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,170 Hey, Doc! 376 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,173 Thank you for your service during these difficult times. 377 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:14,870 Is Mark okay? 378 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,872 Yes, he's tested negative for Covid-19. 379 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:17,873 [ Sighs ] Really? 380 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:19,614 Are you sure? 381 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:23,009 I mean, he did have that imaginary swollen arm and all. 382 00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:25,185 Well, we also ran some tests for IBS and colitis 383 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,838 because of the recurring stomach aches, 384 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,188 but we were able to rule that out, as well. 385 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,711 Recurring? 386 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,800 Mark didn't have any stomach problems until now. 387 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,020 So, he didn't tell you he's been having them for weeks? 388 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,804 No. 389 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,414 I'm seeing a lot of kids with stomach issues 390 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:39,373 from chronic stress in this pandemic. 391 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,157 It's been a year of these kids being bombarded 392 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:42,202 by information every day. 393 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,768 It's -- It's too much. 394 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,422 No, that can't be the problem. 395 00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,816 Mark's the kind of kid who likes to hear the information. 396 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,210 Well, you know your kid. 397 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,560 But I'd talk to him and see what's going on. 398 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,954 I'm gonna put my nurse on to tell you about 399 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,043 some over-the-counter medications that might help. 400 00:15:58,348 --> 00:15:59,828 This doesn't make sense. 401 00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,264 I didn't make my kid sick. 402 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,831 No, you didn't. 403 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,702 You gave him a crippling anxiety disorder. 404 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:07,270 You didn't know what he was gonna do with it. 405 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:12,841 Aah! [ Bat clanks ] 406 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,974 Holy crap! 407 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,933 This mailbox is built better than our house. 408 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,631 Next tornado, I'm putting Beverly Rose in this thing. 409 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:23,547 Hey, what are you doing? 410 00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:25,071 My parents are gonna call the cops. 411 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,421 Rich people. Okay, Karen. 412 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,078 Why the hell have you been ghosting me? 413 00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,428 Because I thought talking would be awkward. 414 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:37,083 You seemed really into me, and I just didn't feel the same way. 415 00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,823 Plus, I mean, I was your first love. 416 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,347 I didn't want to hurt you. 417 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,523 So you just pretend that I don't exist? 418 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,916 You were only trying to protect your own feelings 419 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,744 because you're not man enough to actually face me 420 00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,311 and say goodbye. 421 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,966 Did you think that I was so in love with you 422 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,533 that you would crush me? 423 00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:55,492 You are not that smart, you are not funny, 424 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,190 and you have to go to protests 425 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,061 to make yourself look interesting. 426 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,628 You may have great hair, 427 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:03,370 but the rest of you is extremely average. 428 00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,199 So, are we good? 429 00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,591 I am. 430 00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:08,853 You suck. 431 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,684 [ Sighs ] 432 00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,208 [ Door closes ] 433 00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,472 I'm proud of you. 434 00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:19,995 There are so many times 435 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:21,518 I should've done that, and I didn't. 436 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,998 Thanks. 437 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,347 Feel better? 438 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,175 Yeah, but no. 439 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,048 I mean, I know I deserve way better than that jerk, but... 440 00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:31,137 doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 441 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,139 One last thing. 442 00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:40,755 Yes! Oh! 443 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,974 Yeah! Great job! Whoo! 444 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,194 I forgot to tell you that messing with a mailbox 445 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,630 is a federal crime. 446 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,023 We should probably run right now. 447 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,854 ♪ 448 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,334 Hey. 449 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:55,813 How you feeling? 450 00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,815 A little better. W-What did the doctor say? 451 00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,035 Well, no disease, 452 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,516 but she says you're under a lot of stress. 453 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,344 So, why didn't you tell me 454 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:05,693 you've been having these stomach aches? 455 00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:08,870 Well, I-I didn't want to worry you. 456 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:12,439 Well, I'm a parent. I'm supposed to worry. 457 00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:15,137 And now, the doctor says that me talking to you 458 00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:18,271 about all this Covid stuff might be causing the problem. 459 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,099 Do you think we talk about it too much? 460 00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:23,014 Yeah, but we have to. 461 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,755 Why? 462 00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:27,149 Because you need to. 463 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,804 What are you talking about? 464 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,414 Covid makes people anxious, 465 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:34,069 and you've been having panic attacks. 466 00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,463 That's why you want to talk about it all the time. 467 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:39,509 Sharing it with other people makes it less scary, right? 468 00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:41,555 No, I don't want to talk about it. 469 00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:44,775 I-I was only doing it to make you less anxious. 470 00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:47,343 So, we don't have to do this? 471 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,345 [ Scoffs ] My God, no! 472 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,694 [ Chuckles ] 473 00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,522 It -- It's like that O. Henry story, 474 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:55,612 but instead of selling your hair to get me a pocket watch, 475 00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:59,268 you gave me severe cramps and diarrhea. 476 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,923 Oh, yeah, everybody knows that O. Henry story. 477 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:06,319 Anyway, um, since my love 478 00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:10,975 irritates your intestinal tract, let's try this -- 479 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,283 We are going to focus on the positives 480 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,590 and we're gonna stop looking at the negatives. 481 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:19,070 That sounds good. And who are you? 482 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,637 Come on. 483 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,987 Look, there's animals coming back to places 484 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,425 that were totally overrun with people. 485 00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,470 There's jellyfish that are living again 486 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,255 in the canals of Venice. 487 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,605 Is that a good thing? I thought jellyfish sting you. 488 00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,346 Oh, you don't have to worry about that, honey. 489 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,782 They're in Italy. 490 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:35,957 You're never gonna make it past Indiana. 491 00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:37,437 [ Chuckles ] 492 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,439 I-I guess I just have to relax 493 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:43,051 and accept that even bad things happen for a reason. 494 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,618 That's right. 495 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,054 And you know the saying -- 496 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:49,100 "When God closes a door, he opens a window." 497 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,059 And that's how the murder hornets get in. 498 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,280 I'll -- I'll work on it. Yeah. 499 00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:57,021 That wasn't good. 500 00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:01,678 ♪ 501 00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,506 [ Sighs ] 502 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,681 What are you doing out here? 503 00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:06,422 Having a little celebration. 504 00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:09,033 Problem at the cemetery [snaps fingers] resolved. 505 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,819 You slept with the cemetery guy? Gross. 506 00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,864 He didn't make you lie perfectly still, did he? 507 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,475 Oh, my God! 508 00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,390 I didn't do anything with the cemetery guy. 509 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,653 Oh, come on. You can tell me. 510 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:21,045 Was his bed like a coffin? 511 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,700 Ugh! I wouldn't know. 512 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:26,268 There was a phone call, we came to an agreement, and it's done. 513 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:27,748 I'm having Roseanne moved. 514 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,576 Sweet. 515 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,795 I feel sorry for whoever's gonna be buried next to that jerk. 516 00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,449 Yeah. 517 00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:36,670 I don't think my mom's gonna like it. 518 00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:43,242 Grandpa, where were you? You never miss dinner. 519 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,027 What's with all the screaming? 520 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,724 Dad, we're not screaming. 521 00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,726 Maybe it just seemed that way 'cause somebody 522 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:53,077 just got certified pre-owned hearing aids. 523 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,818 Used hearing aids? 524 00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:57,430 That's disgusting. 525 00:20:57,604 --> 00:20:59,345 You know, if you snuck up behind an old guy 526 00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:01,521 to take them, they don't work. 527 00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:04,393 No, I got them from a very fine pawnshop, 528 00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,482 and they work fantastically. 529 00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:08,832 Can you hear this? 530 00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,704 Yes. 531 00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:13,620 Can you hear this? Old goat says what? 532 00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,012 Yes, I can hear it. 533 00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:17,232 Move. 534 00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:18,581 And with this gizmo, 535 00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,757 I can also turn them all the way down 536 00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,717 so I don't have to hear any of this. 537 00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:25,893 Now, tell me, Jackie, how was your day?