1 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:07,549 Happy belated birthday! 2 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,801 My birthday was like a month ago. 3 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,179 Well, it took me this long to find you the perfect present. 4 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,224 Holy crap. 5 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,351 Is that one of those giant coffee table books? 6 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,186 Yep. 7 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:20,646 It's one of those gifts that looks impressive 8 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,481 but is actually really cheap, right? 9 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,150 Well, that's what made it so perfect. 10 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:28,320 I got it for 25 cents at a yard sale. 11 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,948 This old lady with arthritis couldn't even lift it anymore, 12 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:34,368 so she dragged it in by a wagon to show it to me. 13 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,833 Wow, a book about famous castles. 14 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,044 How did you know about my love for giant stone houses? 15 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,091 This is the same book Meghan Markle looks at 16 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,676 when she's filled with regret. 17 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,847 So, you never told me ‐‐ what did Josh give you? 18 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,768 You're the first woman in the family to date a rich guy. 19 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,437 I once got an expensive silk scarf, 20 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,439 but the guy's wife came and took it back. 21 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,651 Oh, well, uh, Josh was supposed to take me 22 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,736 to his family's vacation house in South Haven, 23 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,739 but, uh, I haven't really heard from him in a while. 24 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,408 How long's a while? 25 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,118 I don't know, like a‐a couple of weeks. 26 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,911 A couple of weeks? 27 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,038 You guys were all over each other 24/7. 28 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,790 I know. 29 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,083 Just please don't tell Mom about it. 30 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,294 She'll blow this way out of proportion. 31 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:28,338 He's probably just protesting somewhere with no cell service. 32 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,757 I'm sure he'll get me something great when he gets back. 33 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,594 Harris, sweet Harris. 34 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,554 We're all raised to believe in the fairy tale. 35 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,055 You know the one. 36 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,849 It's 3:00 in the morning at some dive bar 37 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,601 and you see him 38 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,936 scratching his head with a fork in the cutest way. 39 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,148 He puts out a cigarette in his leftover nachos 40 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,859 and approaches you, and you think 41 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:51,903 "This is the start of something beautiful," 42 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,114 so you spend the night with him. 43 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,200 But you wake up the next morning and he's gone. 44 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,702 And so is your toaster oven. 45 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:05,083 And you sit there eating your soft, dry bread, thinking, 46 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,128 "Damn, he got the coffee maker, too." 47 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,091 Why don't you look at the castles 48 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,760 and pretend you're a princess? 49 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,973 I don't understand why we can't have waffles. 50 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,808 Grandpa has syrup right there. 51 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,187 Uh, that is pure maple syrup that I bought for your grandpa. 52 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,438 That stuff is like gold. 53 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,732 We're not gonna waste it on your unevolved palates. 54 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,611 We'll get you a jug of the cheap stuff 55 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,946 whenever we get a coupon for it. 56 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:38,492 I'll add that to my list for Child Protective Services. 57 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,410 I've had previous grievances. 58 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:43,830 Oh, wow. 59 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,792 Here's a picture of a woman who's over 100 years old. 60 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,044 In 1918, she had the Spanish flu, 61 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,004 and in 2020, she beat Covid. 62 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,547 Twice. 63 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,508 Man, I wish I had her genes. 64 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,593 But not her luck. 65 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:57,969 What do you got for me? 66 00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,722 Um, a woman made her family move into the garage 67 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,182 because she didn't want to get Covid, 68 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,309 so she got a cat for company. 69 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,228 And then she tripped over the cat on the stairs 70 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,354 and broke her neck. 71 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,522 [ Chuckles ] 72 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,023 As soon as we knock out this Covid thing, 73 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,150 we gotta go after cats. 74 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,487 Can we just enjoy sitting down to one meal 75 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,322 without talking about Covid? 76 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,990 There's plenty of other tragic events 77 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,076 for you two to find hilarious. 78 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,453 Homicides are up everywhere. 79 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,288 Enjoy. 80 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,998 Well, this is how we deal with this stuff. 81 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:29,918 You can either laugh or cry, and we choose to laugh about it. 82 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,545 Oh, by the way, Mom, I don't have 83 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,296 basketball practice tomorrow. 84 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,965 They said there's a leak in the gym roof 85 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,258 and the floor isn't safe. 86 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,884 Oh, nope, that's a lie. 87 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,469 The parents got an e‐mail saying 88 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,179 that your coach just tested positive. 89 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,599 C‐Coach Kazmerick? 90 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,017 Is he okay? 91 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,061 Yeah, he'll probably be fine. 92 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,230 The good news is if enough kids have to quarantine, 93 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,940 you might actually get a chance to play. 94 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,904 Do you think there's a reason 95 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,532 they didn't tell the kids about the coach? 96 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,868 Oh, he would've heard it from his friends anyway. 97 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,120 I think it's a mistake constantly hammering him 98 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,622 with all this Covid stuff. 99 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,208 He's gonna develop an obsession with it. 100 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,086 I‐I just got him talking about it, which is healthy. 101 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,546 I started having panic attacks 102 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,631 because I wasn't talking about my anxieties. 103 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,884 Yeah, fair enough, but m‐maybe you could try 104 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,052 mixing some good news in with it. 105 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,763 Uh, I‐I mean, I read this morning 106 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,015 more and more people are surviving the virus. 107 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,768 Well, Mark's a smart kid. He knows it goes beyond that. 108 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,103 He knows some of them wind up with heart problems, 109 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,606 lung problems, memory problems. 110 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,357 See, there's your good news. 111 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,109 Those people won't remember what it was like to be healthy. 112 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:49,706 ♪♪ 113 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:57,631 ♪♪ 114 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:05,722 ♪♪ 115 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:13,730 ♪♪ 116 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,945 That was so sweet for you to get this for Beverly Rose, Dad, 117 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,405 but don't you think the way her legs wrap around the seat 118 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,366 will make her bowlegged? 119 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:27,160 Well, if it does, it'll make it much easier 120 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,411 for her to ride a horse. 121 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,290 Don't repeat this to your sister. 122 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,334 I'm listening. 123 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,003 Dad, I need to talk to you about Josh... 124 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,005 Ehh. ...that rich kid that Harris is in love with. 125 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,298 Oh, I like him. 126 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:41,633 He gives me cash to leave the room 127 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,426 so they can make out. 128 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:46,054 Invest that wisely. That's your college fund. 129 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,431 So, Harris thinks he's out of town, 130 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,433 but I saw him at his parents' house 131 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,435 watching "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" 132 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,230 on the biggest projection TV I have ever seen. 133 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,857 I mean, the picture was so clear, 134 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,693 it was like I was in the parade. 135 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,487 You were spying on this guy and you stayed to watch the movie? 136 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,406 I already had a comfortable position in the tree, 137 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,783 and that movie really holds up. 138 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,201 Should I tell Harris? 139 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,412 Nehh. Tell Darlene. It's her kid. 140 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:13,164 I'm Harris' brother. Can I please tell her? 141 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,709 No. There's $5 in my purse. 142 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,918 You can have it if you leave now. 143 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,169 You don't have a purse. 144 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,005 I don't have $5, either. Get out. 145 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,718 [ Sighs ] I don't know what to do. 146 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,262 Darlene warned Harris about Josh, 147 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,639 but she doesn't want the "I told you so." 148 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:34,603 I can't just sit back and watch Harris be blindsided like this. 149 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,271 I know how much that hurts. 150 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,440 Hey, Grandpa, you might want to check on Mary. 151 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,399 She doesn't know how to work the remote 152 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,109 and she just ordered "Mulan" four times. 153 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,028 Aah! That's 120 bucks! 154 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,408 I'm so glad you came in here. 155 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,993 There's something I need to show you. 156 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,331 I took this yesterday. 157 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,167 Josh has been at his parents' house the whole time. 158 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,544 That piece of crap. 159 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,005 He said he loved me. Things were going great with us. 160 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,174 I'm really sorry. 161 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,176 He owes you an explanation. 162 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,844 Why? 163 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,929 It's over. There's nothing I can do. 164 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,681 Yes, there is. 165 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,392 Nobody has the right to disrespect you like that. 166 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,769 You deserve some closure. 167 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:19,064 You let one guy get away with treating you badly, 168 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,775 it's easier to let the next guy do it to you, too. 169 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:25,570 Just don't want to be some creepy ex‐girlfriend stalker. 170 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,030 I don't know why that's gotten such a bad rap. 171 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,533 You need to go over there 172 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,370 and show him you will not be ignored. 173 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,330 Maybe you boil his rabbit. 174 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,623 What the hell are you talking about? 175 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,833 Boil his rabbit? That's horrible. 176 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,877 Oh, you never saw that movie. 177 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,254 It's about this perfectly reasonable woman 178 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,714 who gets the short end of the stick. 179 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,341 We'll watch it later. 180 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,968 Oh, God. [ Crying ] I can't believe this. 181 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,095 What's wrong? 182 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,681 I don't want your father to hear. 183 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,974 I went to visit Roseanne's grave 184 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,935 because it'd been almost two years. 185 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,228 Why are you freaking out? 186 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,479 Wait, was she not there? 187 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,689 No, she's there. 188 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,107 But now there's a tombstone 189 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,442 right next to hers that says, 190 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,070 "I can't believe they stuck me next to this bitch." 191 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,113 [ Gasps ] 192 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,156 That is horrible. Who is it? 193 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,158 You remember the Remschlatters? 194 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,493 You have to be more specific. 195 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,286 There's a lot of Remschlatters out there. 196 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,913 Paul Remschlatter. 197 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,082 The guy down the street who used to put his trash 198 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,959 in our cans when his were full. 199 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,836 Oh, I remember that. 200 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:26,715 And then Mom took the trash cans and dumped them out on his lawn. 201 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,508 You know, after we picked out all his recyclables. 202 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,135 Yeah, so that went on for years, 203 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,262 and now he's trying to have the last laugh. 204 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,347 Not on my watch. What are you gonna do? 205 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,141 I don't know, but I have to defend my sister 206 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,600 because she can't. 207 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,019 And she always defended me. 208 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,105 Was that after I left the house? 209 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,191 Because all I remember is her relentlessly mocking you. 210 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,693 Tomato, potato! 211 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,570 She was a wonderful person! 212 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,322 ♪♪ 213 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,367 Mulan is so brave. 214 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,037 She took her father's place in the war to protect him. 215 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,747 That's a good daughter. 216 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,167 Hey, when you drop your phone, 217 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,169 I pick it up so you don't have to bend over. 218 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,172 Yeah, okay. 219 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,257 Do you think my arm looks swollen? 220 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,884 It's a lot bigger than the other one, right? 221 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,845 They both look exactly the same. 222 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,430 What's going on? 223 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,141 Well, Mom sent me this article that said some Covid patients 224 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,934 experience inflammation in their veins 225 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,395 when they first get it and it makes their arms swell up. 226 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,939 Well, it doesn't look swollen, but is it sore? 227 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,149 I don't know. Maybe. 228 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,359 This is exactly what I'm talking about. 229 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,945 Why are you sending articles like that to him? 230 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,572 No, it's okay. I asked her. 231 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,990 No, it's not okay. 232 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,700 I'm just gonna go upstairs and rent this again 233 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,786 on my computer where I can hear it. 234 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,871 [ Scoffs ] 235 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,956 Mark, go outside and shoot some hoops, buddy. 236 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,166 I need to talk to your mom. 237 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,421 No, I don't need to talk to you. I know what I'm doing. 238 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,590 I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let that kid 239 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,467 think he's got Covid. 240 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,345 The only reason he thinks he's got vein inflammation 241 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,347 is because you keep pushing this crap on him. 242 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,390 No, I'm not pushing anything on him. 243 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,268 He asked me about it, and I'm not gonna lie to him. 244 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,605 That's a parent's job. You have to lie to them. 245 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,441 Kids can't handle everything that goes on in the world. 246 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,901 That's just common sense, right? 247 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,445 Sure, kids are fragile. That's common sense. 248 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,490 No. The entire world is on their phones now. 249 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,325 You can't hide the truth from them anymore. 250 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,077 And if you do, they're just not gonna trust you. 251 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,411 Oh, yeah, no. 252 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,247 If you don't have trust, you got nothing. 253 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,249 It's not so much a matter of trust 254 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,085 as it is making the kid feel safe and secure. 255 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,921 Remember when D. J. had strep throat? 256 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:32,173 We calmed him down by telling him he was gonna live forever. 257 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,635 You can't go by him. You can't cure stupid. 258 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:39,305 [ Groaning ] I'm having really bad pains in my stomach. 259 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,515 Where does it hurt? 260 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,350 Upper stomach? Lower stomach? 261 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,810 Did you go to the bathroom today? 262 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,396 Yes. It really hurts. Is it Covid? 263 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,772 You know what? We're gonna go to urgent care. 264 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:48,815 Yeah, that's what I'd do. 265 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,316 It's a stomach ache. 266 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,277 Let him lay down and see if he's better in a half an hour. 267 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,279 You're right. We might be overreacting. 268 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,406 No, we're going. Are you coming, Jackie? 269 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,740 Well, maybe I should. 270 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,701 Unless Dan wants me to stay here for supper. 271 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:00,535 You should go, Jackie. 272 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,703 Okay. 273 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:10,962 Ms. Harris? 274 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,797 Yeah. Don Blansky. 275 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,841 I'm the director of the Forest Hills cemetery. 276 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,676 Oh, hi. Thank you so much for coming. 277 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,261 Call me Jackie. Oh. 278 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,430 And I'm sorry I had to push our appointment. 279 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:23,141 I had to take my grand‐nephew to urgent care. 280 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,268 Oh, anything serious, or...? 281 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,477 Oh, no, no. Don't get excited. 282 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,646 He's fine. [ Laughs ] 283 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,733 But I made you some pie to nosh on while we talk. 284 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,611 So, I imagine you're probably wondering 285 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,154 why I invited you here. 286 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,906 Uh, well, no. Not really. 287 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,490 I mean, getting wined and dined 288 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,451 is all part of the job these days. 289 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,453 Ah, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. 290 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,580 Everyone's trying to get a good spot. 291 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,290 It's not like high school. 292 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,918 Everybody wants to be Don Blansky's friend now. 293 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,794 Ooh. [ Chuckles ] 294 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,130 Well, I'm glad you're doing well, 295 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,799 even if it is for all the wrong, ghoulish reasons. 296 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,052 Mm. I don't wish anyone ill. 297 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,096 But when a jock who bullied me dies, 298 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:06,059 you know, a nerd gets a Porsche, you feel me? 299 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,728 I'm trying not to. But, uh ‐‐ [ Laughs ] 300 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,272 No, I‐I actually don't need a spot. 301 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,733 I just need a small, itty‐bitty, little favor. 302 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,901 [ Both chuckle ] 303 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,946 I would like you to dig up Paul Remschlatter 304 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,614 and move him. 305 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,449 We don't really dig people up, you know. 306 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,202 Unless the authorities figure out something like, uh, 307 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,537 you know, his wife cashed a big life‐insurance check, 308 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,373 so maybe he didn't shoot himself in the back of the head. 309 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,416 That kind of thing. Mm, well, yeah. 310 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,460 That's not my situation. 311 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,212 Well, what's the issue with Remschlatter? 312 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,756 Uh, the issue is that his headstone 313 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,717 is insulting my sister who's buried right next to him. 314 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,970 Oh! The ‐‐ The "bitch" one, right? 315 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,388 Yeah. [ Laughing ] Yeah. 316 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,390 Yeah, why would you allow that? 317 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,226 Well, it was the deceased's last request, 318 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,852 and it's ‐‐ it's kind of funny. 319 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:53,064 People think we have no sense of humor, but we do. 320 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,275 We're just people. 321 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,860 Okay, look, I ‐‐ 322 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,570 Here's what it is. 323 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,490 I never thought that I would outlive my older sister. 324 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,783 I was a cop. 325 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,327 I was a trucker who fell asleep a lot. 326 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,414 But I'm still going, and she's not, 327 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:13,293 and so the least I can do is to take care of her memory. 328 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,711 Okay, look. 329 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,129 I'm sorry about your sister, 330 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,714 but, you know, there's nothing I can do. 331 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,257 We ‐‐ We signed a contract. 332 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,217 Well, what's Remschlatter gonna do? 333 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,677 Take you to court? He's dead! 334 00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,262 Well, everyone I work with is dead. 335 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,888 That's not an arguing point. 336 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,266 Look, most people will think it's the woman 337 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,851 on the other side of him, okay? 338 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:33,104 I'm sure everyone knows your sister was a nice person. 339 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,273 Well, that's where you're wrong, my friend. 340 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,816 Good day to you. 341 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,862 [ Doorbell ringing ] 342 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,238 Josh! It's Harris! 343 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,865 I know you're in there! Come out! 344 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,324 What are you doing? 345 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,493 Pizza Express! 346 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,038 Guys hate confrontation, but they love pizza. 347 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,665 Josh! 348 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,083 I just want to talk! 349 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,420 He's never gonna come out. 350 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,963 I feel so stupid. Let's just go. 351 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,590 Oh, I got a way to get him out. 352 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,557 Geez! First the rabbit, now a bat? 353 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:12,977 God, you're a psycho. This is why you're single. 354 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,147 Calm down. We're gonna destroy his mailbox. 355 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,106 Once he sees that, he'll come out. 356 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,155 [ Bat clanks ] 357 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:26,032 Whoa! 358 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,201 That stung a little. 359 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,621 If this was a cartoon, I'd be vibrating right now. 360 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,873 You have lost some rage since you had that baby. 361 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,416 Let me take a shot. 362 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,085 [ Bat clanks ] 363 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,045 I felt that one in my teeth. 364 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,799 Okay. 365 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,511 [ Clanking continues ] 366 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,762 [ Breathing heavily ] 367 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,348 He may be too wealthy to vandalize. 368 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,936 Their mail must be much more important than ours. 369 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,190 God, it's taking a long time for the doctor 370 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,858 to give us Mark's test results. 371 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,568 I'm sure he's fine, sweetie. 372 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,279 The doctor is probably just ripping somebody else off 373 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,698 for a $300, two‐minute video chat. 374 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,283 Hey, Doc! 375 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,578 Thank you for your service during these difficult times. 376 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,038 Is Mark okay? 377 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,207 Yes, he's tested negative for Covid‐19. 378 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,208 [ Sighs ] Really? 379 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,543 Are you sure? 380 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:22,505 I mean, he did have that imaginary swollen arm and all. 381 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,465 Well, we also ran some tests for IBS and colitis 382 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,842 because of the recurring stomach aches, 383 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,552 but we were able to rule that out, as well. 384 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,719 Recurring? 385 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,264 Mark didn't have any stomach problems until now. 386 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,307 So, he didn't tell you he's been having them for weeks? 387 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,767 No. 388 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,519 I'm seeing a lot of kids with stomach issues 389 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,646 from chronic stress in this pandemic. 390 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,481 It's been a year of these kids being bombarded 391 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,566 by information every day. 392 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,234 It's ‐‐ It's too much. 393 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,652 No, that can't be the problem. 394 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,029 Mark's the kind of kid who likes to hear the information. 395 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,490 Well, you know your kid. 396 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,993 But I'd talk to him and see what's going on. 397 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,453 I'm gonna put my nurse on to tell you about 398 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,205 some over‐the‐counter medications that might help. 399 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,041 This doesn't make sense. 400 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,585 I didn't make my kid sick. 401 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,044 No, you didn't. 402 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,172 You gave him a crippling anxiety disorder. 403 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,257 You didn't know what he was gonna do with it. 404 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,138 Aah! [ Bat clanks ] 405 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,473 Holy crap! 406 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,393 This mailbox is built better than our house. 407 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,645 Next tornado, I'm putting Beverly Rose in this thing. 408 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,982 Hey, what are you doing? 409 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,442 My parents are gonna call the cops. 410 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,402 Rich people. Okay, Karen. 411 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,365 Why the hell have you been ghosting me? 412 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,784 Because I thought talking would be awkward. 413 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,454 You seemed really into me, and I just didn't feel the same way. 414 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,122 Plus, I mean, I was your first love. 415 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,540 I didn't want to hurt you. 416 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,959 So you just pretend that I don't exist? 417 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,378 You were only trying to protect your own feelings 418 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,005 because you're not man enough to actually face me 419 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,423 and say goodbye. 420 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,259 Did you think that I was so in love with you 421 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,886 that you would crush me? 422 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,889 You are not that smart, you are not funny, 423 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,474 and you have to go to protests 424 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,309 to make yourself look interesting. 425 00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,019 You may have great hair, 426 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,396 but the rest of you is extremely average. 427 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,358 So, are we good? 428 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,901 I am. 429 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:07,985 You suck. 430 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,990 [ Sighs ] 431 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,200 [ Door closes ] 432 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,912 I'm proud of you. 433 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,330 There are so many times 434 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,790 I should've done that, and I didn't. 435 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,375 Thanks. 436 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,501 Feel better? 437 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,753 Yeah, but no. 438 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,381 I mean, I know I deserve way better than that jerk, but... 439 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,508 doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 440 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,093 One last thing. 441 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,934 Yes! Oh! 442 00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,436 Yeah! Great job! Whoo! 443 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,564 I forgot to tell you that messing with a mailbox 444 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,065 is a federal crime. 445 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,066 We should probably run right now. 446 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,154 ♪♪ 447 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,739 Hey. 448 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,949 How you feeling? 449 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,118 A little better. W‐What did the doctor say? 450 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,287 Well, no disease, 451 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,039 but she says you're under a lot of stress. 452 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,833 So, why didn't you tell me 453 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,209 you've been having these stomach aches? 454 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:08,379 Well, I‐I didn't want to worry you. 455 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:11,841 Well, I'm a parent. I'm supposed to worry. 456 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,468 And now, the doctor says that me talking to you 457 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:17,638 about all this Covid stuff might be causing the problem. 458 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,432 Do you think we talk about it too much? 459 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,351 Yeah, but we have to. 460 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,978 Why? 461 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:26,522 Because you need to. 462 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,066 What are you talking about? 463 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,860 Covid makes people anxious, 464 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:33,654 and you've been having panic attacks. 465 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,865 That's why you want to talk about it all the time. 466 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,951 Sharing it with other people makes it less scary, right? 467 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,037 No, I don't want to talk about it. 468 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,040 I‐I was only doing it to make you less anxious. 469 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,751 So, we don't have to do this? 470 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,461 [ Scoffs ] My God, no! 471 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,004 [ Chuckles ] 472 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,797 It ‐‐ It's like that O. Henry story, 473 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,051 but instead of selling your hair to get me a pocket watch, 474 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,554 you gave me severe cramps and diarrhea. 475 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,098 Oh, yeah, everybody knows that O. Henry story. 476 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:05,686 Anyway, um, since my love 477 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:10,316 irritates your intestinal tract, let's try this ‐‐ 478 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,694 We are going to focus on the positives 479 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,072 and we're gonna stop looking at the negatives. 480 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,449 That sounds good. And who are you? 481 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,159 Come on. 482 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,328 Look, there's animals coming back to places 483 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,872 that were totally overrun with people. 484 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,957 There's jellyfish that are living again 485 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,668 in the canals of Venice. 486 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,045 Is that a good thing? I thought jellyfish sting you. 487 00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,755 Oh, you don't have to worry about that, honey. 488 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:33,756 They're in Italy. 489 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,299 You're never gonna make it past Indiana. 490 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,884 [ Chuckles ] 491 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,803 I‐I guess I just have to relax 492 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:42,348 and accept that even bad things happen for a reason. 493 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,766 That's right. 494 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,309 And you know the saying ‐‐ 495 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:48,354 "When God closes a door, he opens a window." 496 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,189 And that's how the murder hornets get in. 497 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,651 I'll ‐‐ I'll work on it. Yeah. 498 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:56,362 That wasn't good. 499 00:19:56,362 --> 00:20:00,908 ♪♪ 500 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,952 [ Sighs ] 501 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,161 What are you doing out here? 502 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,788 Having a little celebration. 503 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,332 Problem at the cemetery [snaps fingers] resolved. 504 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:11,252 You slept with the cemetery guy? Gross. 505 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,129 He didn't make you lie perfectly still, did he? 506 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,839 Oh, my God! 507 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,757 I didn't do anything with the cemetery guy. 508 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,051 Oh, come on. You can tell me. 509 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,344 Was his bed like a coffin? 510 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:23,013 Ugh! I wouldn't know. 511 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,558 There was a phone call, we came to an agreement, and it's done. 512 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,934 I'm having Roseanne moved. 513 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,602 Sweet. 514 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,021 I feel sorry for whoever's gonna be buried next to that jerk. 515 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,773 Yeah. 516 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,693 I don't think my mom's gonna like it. 517 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,533 Grandpa, where were you? You never miss dinner. 518 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,327 What's with all the screaming? 519 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,163 Dad, we're not screaming. 520 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,165 Maybe it just seemed that way 'cause somebody 521 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:52,334 just got certified pre‐owned hearing aids. 522 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,961 Used hearing aids? 523 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:56,714 That's disgusting. 524 00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,674 You know, if you snuck up behind an old guy 525 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,801 to take them, they don't work. 526 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,763 No, I got them from a very fine pawnshop, 527 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,848 and they work fantastically. 528 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,058 Can you hear this? 529 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,144 Yes. 530 00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,772 Can you hear this? Old goat says what? 531 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,315 Yes, I can hear it. 532 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,609 Move. 533 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,027 And with this gizmo, 534 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,237 I can also turn them all the way down 535 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:23,199 so I don't have to hear any of this. 536 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,909 Now, tell me, Jackie, how was your day?