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-- Subs by kinglouisxx --
for www.addic7ed.com
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"Who is Eckhart Tolle?"
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"Who is Eckhart Tolle?!"
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Who is Eckhart Tolle?
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Who is Eckhart Tolle?
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Only one of the most famous
spiritual teachers of our time,
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but most importantly,
he's Oprah's bestie.
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I thought Gayle was Oprah's bestie.
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At least, according to
the little TV on the gas pump.
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Short pants, short pants.
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"What are knickerbockers?!"
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Don't tell me you're still
thinking of going on "Jeopardy!"
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It's not the same without
Alex Trebek, rest in peace.
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No, of course not, but Alex
would want it to go on,
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and he would want me to go on.
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He told me that...
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when I was on the hallucinogenic tea.
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Oh, well, if the drugs said so,
you gotta do it.
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Stop trying to neg me, Dan.
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"What is Little Big Horn?"
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I mean, "Who is Custer?" Dammit, Jackie!
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You're going to "the show."
Get it together.
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Grandpa, can we go to Laser Maxx
Family Fun Center this weekend?
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They're social distancing.
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Oh, money's a little tight
right now, honey.
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Hey, you want to play laser tag,
let's go out in the yard
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and I'll chase you around
with a flashlight.
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Oh!
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Hey, man. What's up?
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Oh. Nothing.
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Just thought I'd drop by and ask
you to look out your window.
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It's a boat.
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Oh, it is a boat.
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Your commitment to these
practical jokes is impressive.
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Uh, it's mine. I just bought it.
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It took me a minute
to convince Anne-Marie,
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but once I got the grandkids to whine
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at that pitch that makes her
crazy, she gave in.
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- Good for you.
- Yeah.
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- You want some coffee?
- No, I don't want some coffee.
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I-I want you to come look at my boat.
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I saw it. You want some coffee or not?
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I want to go see your boat!
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See, that's how you act
when someone gets a boat.
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Come on. Get excited, man.
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We're gonna have a blast
this summer on Lake Michigan.
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You know, I'm hoping you and Louise
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will be able to join us sometime, man.
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We can cruise around, drink beer.
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Sure. Sounds great.
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Kind of ironic, isn't it?
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What do you mean?
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No, I mean, it just goes to show you.
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Just goes to show you what?
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Well, it's funny how
I'm the one that gave you a job,
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made you a partner in my business,
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and now you have a boat and I don't.
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What are you, uh...
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You saying I shouldn't have a boat?
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No, no, no. I'm not saying
you shouldn't have a boat.
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I'm just saying I probably
should have had a boat first.
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You know what, Dan, you're right.
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How dare I have a boat before you?
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Come on, I didn't mean it like that.
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Oh, yes, you did.
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You just didn't know you did.
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You know, I'll try and remember
to stay a step below you, Dan.
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What are you getting so worked up about?
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I told you I like your stupid boat.
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Now sit down and have some coffee.
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Oh, don't tell me what to do.
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I don't even know why I came over here.
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3x10
Who Are Bosses, Boats and Eckhart Tolle?
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Wow.
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I can't believe I have my own office.
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Well, if it's too much for you,
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we can always get you
a milk crate and a stool.
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No, no. No.
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I-It's weird, but it's kinda cool.
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In the meantime, I've, uh,
set up some interviews for you
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so you can hire an assistant.
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An assistant?
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Uh, I'm pretty much the kind of person
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that likes to do everything by myself.
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Just ask my boyfriend how I am in bed.
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I did. He said you need an assistant.
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You were 10 minutes late today.
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I was 15 minutes late yesterday.
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How 'bout an 'atta girl?
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So, this is what it's like
living inside Robin's butt.
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Where do you keep the stick?
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Okay, did you come here
just to torment me?
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Mostly.
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But I'm also here on
Union Steward business.
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The time clock is five minutes off,
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so we're getting written up
for coming in late.
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Maybe you people up here could
put down your caviar spoons
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for a minute and come down and fix it.
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Okay, okay. I'll... I'll look into it.
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Now beat it.
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I gotta interview some assistants.
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You know, in an interview,
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you have to pretend to listen to people.
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All I have to do is look in
their eyes, nod periodically,
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and then, you know, there's the smiling.
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And that's how the Joker
became the Joker.
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Hmm.
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Yeah.
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Couldn't hold me down,
could you, Lanford?
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Who's the bitch now?
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Excuse me?
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- Oh.
- I'm here for the interview?
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Oh, my God. Hi. I'm so sorry.
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I'm Darlene Conner. First question...
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you still want to work for me
after hearing that?
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No worries. My last boss
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shot a champagne cork out
his window and killed a bird.
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Um...
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Okay.
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Where should we start?
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Can I sit down?
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Oh, my God. Yes. Please sit down.
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So... um...
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I'm interested in you.
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Oh.
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Uh, what's that you got in your hand?
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Oh, this is just a little rabbit's foot
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my daughter Ruthie gave me.
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If I get this job,
she can get her own computer.
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She's been using the computer
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at the halfway house down the block,
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but I'm really not comfortable
with her asking the junkies
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how to spell things.
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You're hired.
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Whoa. Really?
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No other questions?
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Oh, God, no. I wouldn't put
either one of us through that.
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Thank you so much!
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- Oh, this is gonna be great.
- Yeah.
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Okay. Oh. What do you
usually wear to work?
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Um... I don't know.
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Something kind of like
what I'm wearing today.
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Why?
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Let me just take a quick photo.
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That way, I can be sure we coordinate.
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I want people to know I belong to you.
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Mm!
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You always get the last laugh,
don't you, Lanford?
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I don't know what
you're trying to flatten,
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but it must be pretty curled
to need all those books.
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Well, I realized that there are
some "Jeopardy!" categories
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I'm not as strong in,
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so I'm trying to memorize history.
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Which part?
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Human.
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Hey, can I come in?
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I've been tested for
all sorts of things,
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00:07:04,308 --> 00:07:06,742
but the COVID one is good.
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Sure.
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All right.
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Jackie.
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Dwight.
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Chuck asked me to drop this off.
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What's in it?
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It's a bill.
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Chuck is officially
breaking up the partnership,
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and he assumes you're gonna keep
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all the equipment you guys bought,
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so he wants to be reimbursed for half.
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Chuck's breaking up your partnership?
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What happened?
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I didn't do cartwheels
over his dumbass boat
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and he lost his mind about it.
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He knows I'm struggling
to hang onto my house
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and he pulls a boat into my driveway?
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Might as well park it in my be-hind
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and call it the "S.S. Take That."
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You know what would show Chuck
a thing or two
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is if you got yourself a new partner.
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An attractive, young one.
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I'm done with partners.
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Okay. So we're negotiating.
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You're offering me nothing.
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I will take a silent partnership
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and I'll work for minimum wage.
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Final offer.
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That's less than I pay you now.
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Yes, but I'm a partner.
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Sounds way better on Farmers Only.
190
00:08:08,672 --> 00:08:11,006
You city girls don't know what you want.
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Anything you want me to
pass on to Chuck?
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Oh, yeah.
193
00:08:15,879 --> 00:08:17,512
Yeah, you can tell him
I'll get him his money
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when I'm damn good and ready!
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00:08:22,453 --> 00:08:24,519
Okay. I'll give him the message.
196
00:08:24,621 --> 00:08:27,956
But I don't think I can
replicate your ferocity.
197
00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:36,633
Lisa, can you print
the latest production reports
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00:08:36,735 --> 00:08:37,973
and put them on my desk, please?
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00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:39,966
Sure. Oh! Hey, boss?
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00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:41,510
Do you want me to get Ruthie
on her new computer
201
00:08:41,535 --> 00:08:43,969
so she can say thank you
to her Auntie Darlene?
202
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,573
Aww, that's sweet, but no.
203
00:08:46,641 --> 00:08:50,443
Uh, and I'm not really
comfortable with Auntie Darlene.
204
00:08:50,512 --> 00:08:51,745
Let's start with Ms. Conner
205
00:08:51,813 --> 00:08:54,013
and see where it goes
after five or six years.
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00:08:57,152 --> 00:08:59,119
Darlene Conner's office.
207
00:09:00,355 --> 00:09:02,756
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
208
00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:04,624
It's Ginette from Sales.
209
00:09:12,234 --> 00:09:14,334
Hey, Ginette.
210
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:19,072
Uh... I-I'm sorry.
211
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,107
Let me put you on hold for a second.
212
00:09:21,176 --> 00:09:23,076
Why is Ginette screaming at me?
213
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:26,246
She just called me something
I only hear in Tarantino films.
214
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:27,947
Oh. Right.
215
00:09:28,049 --> 00:09:29,816
You know, she called earlier
216
00:09:29,918 --> 00:09:31,851
saying there's a lot of orders coming in
217
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,453
and that you need to get on your people
218
00:09:33,555 --> 00:09:35,488
to increase their output.
219
00:09:35,557 --> 00:09:36,990
I told her that you said
220
00:09:37,058 --> 00:09:39,192
your people are working
as fast as they can
221
00:09:39,294 --> 00:09:40,427
and to get off your back
222
00:09:40,495 --> 00:09:44,164
or you'll come down there
and kick her ass.
223
00:09:44,266 --> 00:09:46,166
What? Why would you do that?
224
00:09:46,268 --> 00:09:48,067
Ginette's just trying to push you around
225
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,536
because you're a new boss.
226
00:09:49,638 --> 00:09:53,206
You need to shank someone
right away to get respect.
227
00:09:53,308 --> 00:09:55,341
Ginette?
228
00:09:55,444 --> 00:09:57,677
Ginette.
229
00:09:57,779 --> 00:09:59,646
Ginette.
230
00:09:59,748 --> 00:10:01,815
Look, why don't I
come down to your office
231
00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:04,250
and we can hash this out, okay?
232
00:10:05,887 --> 00:10:07,687
All right, we've got a problem.
233
00:10:07,756 --> 00:10:09,355
Are you mad at me?
234
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,224
No.
235
00:10:11,326 --> 00:10:13,092
No, this is your first day,
236
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,561
and I should have made it clear
237
00:10:14,663 --> 00:10:17,597
that you shouldn't threaten
department heads on my behalf.
238
00:10:17,666 --> 00:10:20,266
Well, that would've helped.
239
00:10:20,368 --> 00:10:22,001
My bad.
240
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:26,906
Oh, my God! "Twilight"!
241
00:10:26,975 --> 00:10:28,408
I want to see this.
242
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:30,176
Mary, it's way past your bedtime.
243
00:10:30,245 --> 00:10:31,578
What are you doing up?
244
00:10:31,646 --> 00:10:33,813
It's hard to sleep with all
that's going on in the world.
245
00:10:33,915 --> 00:10:35,515
Shh.
246
00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:39,118
You know what, Josh?
247
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,087
I've seen this movie so many times.
248
00:10:41,156 --> 00:10:44,224
What I really want to watch
right now is C-SPAN.
249
00:10:45,627 --> 00:10:50,163
Next order of
business, item number 1742.
250
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:54,501
Does Josh know that mental
illness runs in our family?
251
00:10:54,603 --> 00:10:56,569
It's not mental illness.
252
00:10:56,671 --> 00:11:00,473
It's, uh... It's uh, drug abuse,
alcoholism, and poor diet.
253
00:11:05,514 --> 00:11:06,946
You're rich, right, Josh?
254
00:11:07,048 --> 00:11:09,148
Are you going to give Harris
some of that money?
255
00:11:09,217 --> 00:11:11,050
Let's go.
256
00:11:18,326 --> 00:11:19,325
"Twilight"?
257
00:11:19,427 --> 00:11:21,394
That's a tricky one for a girl your age.
258
00:11:21,496 --> 00:11:24,063
They're in love, but he wants to
suck her blood out and kill her.
259
00:11:24,132 --> 00:11:26,699
Remember, you deserve better than that.
260
00:11:29,638 --> 00:11:31,738
Have you talked to Chuck yet?
261
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,506
No point.
262
00:11:33,575 --> 00:11:35,975
I'm writing up a custody
agreement about our equipment.
263
00:11:36,077 --> 00:11:38,378
I figure we could do every other week.
264
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,546
The important thing is that
265
00:11:39,614 --> 00:11:42,615
the tools don't think it's their fault.
266
00:11:42,717 --> 00:11:45,251
You guys have known each other
for over 40 years.
267
00:11:45,353 --> 00:11:48,922
You're really gonna throw this
relationship away over a boat?
268
00:11:49,024 --> 00:11:50,290
I'll make new friends.
269
00:11:50,358 --> 00:11:53,626
No, you won't. You're very unpleasant.
270
00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:55,328
Okay, maybe I was a little jealous,
271
00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:56,896
but he's the one that
blew the whole thing up.
272
00:11:56,998 --> 00:12:00,433
Come on, Dan. He's your best friend.
273
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:02,402
If something good happened to you...
274
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,837
not that it's ever going to...
who would you call?
275
00:12:05,907 --> 00:12:08,007
When Roseanne went into labor
with Becky,
276
00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:10,276
who was the first person
at the hospital?
277
00:12:10,378 --> 00:12:11,611
Chuck.
278
00:12:11,713 --> 00:12:12,812
But he only beat me there
279
00:12:12,914 --> 00:12:14,213
because the place he was drinking
280
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,749
was closer to the hospital
than the place I was drinking.
281
00:12:16,851 --> 00:12:21,554
And... who'd you call first
when Roseanne died?
282
00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:26,359
You should just call him.
283
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:31,164
Oh, wait a minute.
284
00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:34,267
Oh, maybe we can get our own damn boat
285
00:12:34,369 --> 00:12:38,237
because I just made the
"Jeopardy!" audition phase!
286
00:12:38,286 --> 00:12:40,920
Talk to Chuck or not, I don't care.
287
00:12:47,526 --> 00:12:50,193
So, not only did you not fix the clock,
288
00:12:50,262 --> 00:12:52,362
but now we can't
make eye contact with you
289
00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:53,730
in the hallway?!
290
00:12:53,799 --> 00:12:56,032
What?
291
00:12:57,135 --> 00:12:58,501
Oh, my God.
292
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,503
This wasn't me... this was Lisa.
293
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:01,972
I mean, I kinda like the concept,
294
00:13:01,997 --> 00:13:03,930
but it's not appropriate.
295
00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:05,521
This woman is out of control.
296
00:13:05,593 --> 00:13:08,794
Well, you did ask her one whole
question in the interview.
297
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,671
What more could you do?
298
00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:12,539
Well, I only needed one question,
299
00:13:12,608 --> 00:13:14,608
but it should have been,
"Are you insane?"
300
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,143
You gotta fire her.
301
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,277
No, no.
302
00:13:17,346 --> 00:13:19,246
That's what our bosses always
have done to us,
303
00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,748
and we always complained that
we didn't get a second chance.
304
00:13:21,817 --> 00:13:24,852
When I got fired in Chicago,
it literally killed me.
305
00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:26,820
I came home, I cried to Mom,
306
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,622
and I didn't even know
how to move forward.
307
00:13:28,691 --> 00:13:30,924
I'm not gonna do that to somebody else.
308
00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:33,627
Okay, can I do it?
309
00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:34,695
No.
310
00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:36,697
I've got to step up and be a boss.
311
00:13:36,765 --> 00:13:39,166
I'll be her mentor
the way Robin mentored me.
312
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,102
But let's be honest, how good of
a job did Robin really do?
313
00:13:42,204 --> 00:13:44,137
I mean, look at you. You're a mess.
314
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,239
No, I'm not.
315
00:13:45,307 --> 00:13:47,674
I'm forging my own management style.
316
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,710
It's a mix of conflict avoidance,
317
00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:52,179
blue-collar guilt, with a dash of IBS.
318
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,147
Chef's kiss.
319
00:13:58,053 --> 00:14:00,487
Boy, this really is a nice boat.
320
00:14:00,556 --> 00:14:03,457
I took the ferry to Muskegon one time.
321
00:14:03,526 --> 00:14:07,694
I didn't experience
the pure joy of boating...
322
00:14:07,796 --> 00:14:11,532
because I was in my truck
eating a cheeseburger.
323
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,966
What do you want, Dan?
324
00:14:13,068 --> 00:14:14,768
Permission to come aboard?
325
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,205
Suit yourself.
326
00:14:20,309 --> 00:14:22,209
Look...
327
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,845
I'm sorry I didn't
jump up and down about the boat,
328
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,214
but you know what kind of
money troubles I got.
329
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,017
I guess it felt like you were...
330
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,085
shoving the thing in my face.
331
00:14:32,154 --> 00:14:35,155
Oh. But you know me
better than that, Dan.
332
00:14:35,224 --> 00:14:37,524
I just wanted you to
be happy for me... that's all.
333
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,192
Part of me was,
334
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,396
but part of me was mad at myself
that I didn't get one, too.
335
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:45,432
Hey, it's not my fault
that you suck at money.
336
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:49,069
You couldn't hold onto a dollar
bill if it had a handle.
337
00:14:49,171 --> 00:14:50,470
Look, neither one of us had a lot.
338
00:14:50,573 --> 00:14:52,940
The difference was that
I put away 20 bucks a week
339
00:14:53,008 --> 00:14:54,675
for 40 years.
340
00:14:56,011 --> 00:14:57,244
Yeah.
341
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,912
But I bet you never had the joy of
342
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,114
blowing your entire paycheck
at the state fair
343
00:15:01,183 --> 00:15:04,551
on things that aren't supposed
to be fried but are.
344
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,453
I'm a Black man.
345
00:15:06,522 --> 00:15:09,423
I got fried all day every day at home.
346
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,925
Look, I get why you were pissed at me,
347
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:15,195
but I don't know why you had to
bust up the business.
348
00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:18,932
Look, because you were going
on and on about doing me a favor
349
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,469
for bringing me onto your crew
and making me your partner.
350
00:15:22,538 --> 00:15:24,204
You think that stuff happened
351
00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:25,672
because I couldn't do it on my own?
352
00:15:25,774 --> 00:15:27,140
I didn't say that.
353
00:15:27,209 --> 00:15:28,976
Well, I couldn't.
354
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:32,179
Because I'm Black and you're white.
355
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:34,081
What does that have to do with anything?
356
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,482
Are you kidding?
357
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:36,750
Lanford in those days?
358
00:15:36,819 --> 00:15:38,518
A Black man running
a construction company
359
00:15:38,621 --> 00:15:40,454
wasn't gonna happen.
360
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:43,023
I couldn't get a lumber yard
to give me credit.
361
00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:45,425
I couldn't get a loan from a bank.
362
00:15:45,494 --> 00:15:46,994
And there were plenty of white customers
363
00:15:47,062 --> 00:15:49,262
that wouldn't trust me
with their business.
364
00:15:49,331 --> 00:15:51,632
You never talked to me about this.
365
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:53,467
Come on, man.
366
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,135
You've been in the world.
367
00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:58,538
Even if I told you, you don't live it.
368
00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:01,475
You wouldn't understand.
369
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:04,311
Look... Look, don't get me wrong.
370
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:06,179
I appreciate the job and the fact that
371
00:16:06,281 --> 00:16:10,350
your giant, pale, puffy face
helped me get my boat.
372
00:16:10,419 --> 00:16:13,053
Well, sometimes behind
a giant, white face
373
00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:15,789
is somebody that wants the best for you.
374
00:16:15,858 --> 00:16:18,959
I hope you learned a little bit
about race here today.
375
00:16:20,295 --> 00:16:22,095
Screw you, old man.
376
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,468
And just so you know,
377
00:16:28,537 --> 00:16:29,569
when I hired you,
378
00:16:29,638 --> 00:16:32,072
I thought I was hiring a friend.
379
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:33,974
No, we weren't damn friends.
380
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,376
I did what I had to do to get by.
381
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:40,347
And it turned out that you were
a... you were a good guy.
382
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:44,284
So, hell yeah, now we're damn friends.
383
00:16:44,353 --> 00:16:46,486
You're like a 14-year-old girl, Dan.
384
00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:50,157
I'll get you a friendship bracelet.
385
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,592
I want the kind where we each
get half a heart.
386
00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:55,962
Hey, what do you say we tear up
this custody agreement,
387
00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:58,198
get back to work, huh?
388
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,900
Yeah, well, uh...
389
00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:03,437
I've been thinking about that
lately, Dan.
390
00:17:03,539 --> 00:17:05,205
I'm tired.
391
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,775
I've decided I'm gonna retire.
392
00:17:08,844 --> 00:17:10,043
What?
393
00:17:10,145 --> 00:17:11,845
I-I-I don't want to work anymore.
394
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,647
I want to enjoy my life.
395
00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:15,115
Why would you want to enjoy your life
396
00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:18,051
when you can work yourself
to death with me?
397
00:17:18,153 --> 00:17:20,087
I'm sorry, Dan.
398
00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:23,090
Oh, don't be. I get it.
399
00:17:23,192 --> 00:17:25,258
Ah.
400
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,327
We should celebrate.
401
00:17:27,396 --> 00:17:29,896
Too bad you ain't got
no beer on this boat.
402
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,665
Oh, lift up the seat cushion.
403
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:32,632
Which one?
404
00:17:32,735 --> 00:17:33,834
Any one.
405
00:17:36,371 --> 00:17:38,271
- Ta-da!
- Whoo!
406
00:17:38,373 --> 00:17:41,374
Oh, this is so great.
407
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,710
I want to do this with all my furniture.
408
00:17:49,585 --> 00:17:51,618
Hey, Darlene.
409
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,386
Look who knows where you live.
410
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,688
Oh.
411
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:55,889
I'm so sorry,
412
00:17:55,958 --> 00:17:57,858
but I wanted to prepare you
before you got to work.
413
00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,392
I tried to move your parking spot
414
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,595
to the front of the building
by saying you had rickets.
415
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,096
Now they're asking for a doctor's note,
416
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,432
so we're gonna have to
figure something out.
417
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,968
Okay, sit down. We need to talk.
418
00:18:08,036 --> 00:18:09,536
I was just gonna shoot you a text,
419
00:18:09,605 --> 00:18:10,604
but I didn't want you to freak out,
420
00:18:10,706 --> 00:18:11,738
'cause you know how you do.
421
00:18:16,111 --> 00:18:17,410
What are you doing, Becky?
422
00:18:17,479 --> 00:18:19,913
As the Union Steward,
I feel I should be here
423
00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:22,649
to protect the interests
of this employee.
424
00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:24,985
- You can't stay.
- Fine.
425
00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:26,720
Good luck with everything.
426
00:18:26,789 --> 00:18:28,722
I don't need luck.
I let my work do the talking.
427
00:18:28,824 --> 00:18:32,259
Okay.
428
00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:35,195
Listen, here's the thing.
429
00:18:35,297 --> 00:18:37,664
You've been messing up a lot,
430
00:18:37,733 --> 00:18:40,634
but I'm gonna be the kind of
boss I wish I'd had,
431
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,068
so instead of firing you,
432
00:18:42,137 --> 00:18:43,870
I'm gonna give you one warning.
433
00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:45,906
Let me stop you right there.
434
00:18:46,008 --> 00:18:48,475
My job is to protect you.
435
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,677
I'm the Doberman that's going to protect
436
00:18:50,746 --> 00:18:54,047
the junkyard that is Darlene Conner.
437
00:18:54,149 --> 00:18:57,584
Okay, I'm gonna give you
an extra warning.
438
00:18:57,686 --> 00:18:59,519
Thank you so much. If you had fired me,
439
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:01,588
I don't know what
I would have told Janie.
440
00:19:01,657 --> 00:19:03,156
Who's Janie?
441
00:19:03,258 --> 00:19:04,758
My daughter.
442
00:19:04,827 --> 00:19:07,794
Part of being a good manager
is remember people's names.
443
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,429
This is why you need me.
444
00:19:09,531 --> 00:19:11,765
Your daughter's name is Ruthie.
445
00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:14,334
Oh, I did say that. Oops.
446
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:16,036
I made her up to get the job.
447
00:19:16,138 --> 00:19:17,938
This is another reason why you need me.
448
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,407
You're gullible.
449
00:19:20,509 --> 00:19:22,242
Okay, you're fired.
450
00:19:22,344 --> 00:19:23,577
What?!
451
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,979
Look, a-as someone who
considered being your mentor,
452
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,881
you should know
there's something missing
453
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:29,749
or broken in your head.
454
00:19:29,852 --> 00:19:33,353
I can't have another firing
on my résumé.
455
00:19:33,455 --> 00:19:35,755
I was unemployed for months before this.
456
00:19:35,858 --> 00:19:40,193
Look, I've been there,
and it is gonna work out.
457
00:19:40,295 --> 00:19:41,995
How?
458
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,930
How am I going to pay my bills?
459
00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:45,966
Well, that's a good point.
460
00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:47,968
But you don't have a kid anymore,
461
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,336
so that'll save you money.
462
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,872
Can you still be my mentor?
463
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:57,677
I think that might be hard
since you'll have a new job
464
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,265
and also you won't be allowed
in our building anymore,
465
00:20:00,346 --> 00:20:02,413
'cause that's my next call.
466
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,421
So, I'm super easy to work for,
467
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:08,319
and I guess I just have one question...
468
00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:10,152
you're not gonna love me too much
469
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:11,715
and do weird things, are you?
470
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,629
Oh, no.
471
00:20:13,668 --> 00:20:16,110
You're an atheist and full of the devil.
472
00:20:16,179 --> 00:20:19,454
I have to pray to God every time
I leave your presence.
473
00:20:19,545 --> 00:20:22,179
Perfect.
We're gonna get along just fine.
474
00:20:22,281 --> 00:20:26,150
Oh. And here is a picture of Lisa.
475
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:29,153
One of your jobs
is to keep her away from me.
476
00:20:29,255 --> 00:20:31,955
How permanently do you want me
to do that?
477
00:20:32,057 --> 00:20:33,624
What do you mean?
478
00:20:33,726 --> 00:20:38,662
Well, the hand of God will smite
thine enemies for 250 bucks.
479
00:20:38,764 --> 00:20:42,366
Are you talking about
250 bucks for a hitman?
480
00:20:42,468 --> 00:20:44,902
No. That would be wrong.
481
00:20:45,004 --> 00:20:47,504
It's a contribution to my prayer circle.
482
00:20:47,606 --> 00:20:50,307
It worked for my friend
with the abusive husband.
483
00:20:50,409 --> 00:20:52,376
He fell in the shower.
484
00:20:56,549 --> 00:20:58,982
Um, well, I only have a couple
more people to interview,
485
00:20:59,084 --> 00:21:01,251
but I think this went well.