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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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So, I just got off the
phone with the bank,
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and apparently, I've gone past overdraft
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into something they're
gonna call "backdraft",
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which means I'm on fire.
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I need money fast, or
I'm gonna lose my car.
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Until we sell some ads,
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there is no money coming in.
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And I'm out there busting my ass,
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but it is just really
tough to get people
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to commit to a magazine
that doesn't exist yet.
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So, what are you saying?
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Y-You're saying this
may not actually happen?
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I don't know.
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I told you, new businesses are
hard to get off the ground.
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Well, I mean, I don't
know what I'm gonna do.
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I was barely getting
by when I had a job.
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I haven't worked in months.
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I maxed out all my credit cards,
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including the one that
came in Becky's name
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that she doesn't even know about.
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I'm gonna have to get another job.
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What am I gonna do?
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Other than writing, I'm
basically unemployable.
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Oh, come on. You're gonna be fine.
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You have lots of skills.
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Don't make me name them.
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Hi. Are the machines empty?
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Hey, um, it's great to get to see you
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when you come over to do laundry.
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Is there a way I can enjoy your company
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that doesn't cost me
water and electricity?
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I'm not going to the laundromat.
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Last time, I caught some weirdo
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smelling one of my bras.
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I don't care if he works there.
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It's not cool.
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Hey, you know,
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Harris works at Price Warehouse.
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Maybe she could help
get you a job there.
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Oh, God. Has it come to that?
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Alright, I guess I could ask her,
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but she wouldn't even let me work
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in her pretend bakery when she was 7.
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She said I depressed the customers.
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Hey. Quick question.
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Is Price Warehouse hiring?
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Yeah.
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Do you know someone
who's looking for a job?
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I desperately need a carpool buddy.
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Yes, it's me, your mommy.
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Oh. Oh.
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Ah, I just got the newsletter.
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All the positions have been filled.
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It's crazy timing.
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Harris, I wouldn't ask if
I didn't really need this.
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I'm gonna lose my car.
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Oof. Eye roll.
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Okay, fine, I'll refer you,
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but I'm not gonna lie to them.
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I'll say you're my mother
and I kind of know you.
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That's it.
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"The Conners" is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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Oh. Hey, Beck.
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Who's the dude with Jackie?
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She's dating him.
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Okay.
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For once, I'm gonna vet the guy
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before he leaves her a shattered wreck.
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Hey, Jack, what's up?
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Not much. Good to see you, Dan.
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Your takeout order's on the counter.
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Don't mind if I do.
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Dan Conner, Jackie's brother-in-law.
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Ron Dunchak.
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I'm sorry for interrupting,
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but I love to meet people.
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What is it you do, Ron?
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I'm retired.
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I had parsley farms.
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Made a great living on something
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people pick out of their food.
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What a coincidence.
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I throw away your product
every time I see it.
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Wow.
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I can't help admiring
that wedding ring, Ron.
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- What a beaut.
- Happily married 30 years.
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- And here she is.
- Hi.
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I'm sorry. Becky told
me this was a date.
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It is.
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Dan, this is my lovely wife, Janelle.
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Hi, Dan.
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I'm confused, so I'm gonna go.
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Have a nice time
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doing whatever each
of you thinks this is.
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What the hell is going on?
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You told me she was dating that guy.
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Oh, she is.
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And the girl.
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The guy and the girl.
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You getting this, old-timer?
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So, Jackie, we're
all having a great time.
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- Mm-hmm.
- And it just seems like
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things would naturally
progress to the next level.
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And we were just wondering,
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how many times do you
usually go out with someone
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before, you know, you...
you sleep with them?
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Oh, goodness, um, pbst, I don't know.
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Um, 30, 40 times.
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Um, what were you guys thinking?
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Oh.
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So, we're there?
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Okay.
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How does this work?
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Do you go make a sandwich
while we're doing it,
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and then when you two are doing it,
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do I go make a sandwich?
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Or am I the sandwich?
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Ohh. Well...
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Janelle thought all three
of us should be together.
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Yeah, right, 'cause when
I Googled "thrupple",
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that seemed to be pretty standard.
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Yeah, I mean, I think
it would make everybody
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the most comfortable.
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I've never been with
a woman, Jackie. Have you?
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Just myself, but that has not gone well.
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_
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Oh, hey, Harris. What do you think?
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Mother-daughter beauty pageant.
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We wear these? Huh?
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You got the job. Congratulations.
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So, who's going to be training
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our newest and oldest team member?
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Well, I was trying to decide
who was gonna train your mom.
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Then, I thought, "Hey,
what's more comfortable
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than being trained by your own child?"
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Yeah. Um, do you have any kids?
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No, I don't.
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Oh, okay, then this makes more sense.
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I can't believe they're
making me do this.
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Oh, you think this is bad for you?
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Try taking orders from the person
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who took off her diaper
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and made me chase her
through the airport.
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Oh! What was that?
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That's Schneider.
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He's one of our automated associates
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who sweeps the floor.
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Oh.
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I think he just hit me on purpose.
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It's a robot, Mom.
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You're just so small,
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he probably thought you were
something that fell off a shelf.
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Okay, let's get to work.
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I am now going to show you
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how we do the Price Warehouse fold.
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Go. Arm.
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- Arm.
- Mm-hmm.
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- Shoulder.
- Mm-hmm.
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Shoulder. Chop, flip.
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Your turn.
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Uh, no.
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No.
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No.
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Unh-unh.
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No.
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Good God, woman, does it
have to be exactly that way?
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Yes.
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Sheila is going to be judging me
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on how well I train you.
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So make sure everything in this section
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is folded properly
while I finish inventory.
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Just follow the one I did.
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Okay.
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Arm... arm...
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shoulder... shoulder...
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chop... flip.
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Oh, yeah! Who's your mommy?
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Um, oh, I'm sorry.
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I think maybe your
size is on the bottom.
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Uh, it's... it's on the bottom.
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The bottom.
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The very bottom.
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It's on the damn bottom.
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No! Go home.
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Uh, I am so sorry, ma'am.
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I'm a sales associate.
How may I help you?
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I'm looking for an XL.
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Of course.
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That is just right here on the bottom.
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Somebody should have told you.
193
00:08:04,529 --> 00:08:06,530
You can't tell the customers to go home.
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Not even the stupid ones?
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You asked for this job,
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and what you do reflects on me.
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So get it together and fold these.
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The first three letters
of "associate" are "ass".
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What did you say?
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What? Oh, nothing.
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How was your first day?
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Uh, I folded sweatshirts
203
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and a robot pushed himself against me.
204
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Did you report it?
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'Cause you'll never win.
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Robots cover up for other robots.
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The real problem is
they made Harris my boss.
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00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:51,539
Oh, my God, that's hilarious!
209
00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:54,875
They just made me a Price
Warehouse customer for life.
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00:08:55,978 --> 00:08:57,779
Hey.
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00:09:00,738 --> 00:09:03,068
What the hell happened to your face?
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00:09:03,070 --> 00:09:05,293
What do you mean, what happened?
213
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,451
I shaved.
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00:09:06,453 --> 00:09:08,387
Without asking me?
215
00:09:09,531 --> 00:09:12,232
I need your permission to
do something with my face?
216
00:09:12,234 --> 00:09:15,001
Uh, well, yeah. I'm the one
that's got to look at it all day.
217
00:09:16,404 --> 00:09:17,837
Well, what's wrong with my face?
218
00:09:17,839 --> 00:09:20,874
There's just too much of it.
219
00:09:20,876 --> 00:09:23,843
So, you're saying I'm fat?
220
00:09:23,845 --> 00:09:25,912
Oh, no, no, no, of course not.
221
00:09:25,914 --> 00:09:28,581
It's just, your face...
you got a fat face.
222
00:09:30,852 --> 00:09:33,386
Oh, uh, hey, bring little Bev up.
223
00:09:33,388 --> 00:09:34,754
I'll take care of her for you.
224
00:09:34,756 --> 00:09:37,021
Nah, she's gonna look
at all this pale flesh
225
00:09:37,023 --> 00:09:39,391
and be confused because
there's no nipple on it.
226
00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:46,699
Look, I thought I'd have a
better shot at selling ads
227
00:09:46,701 --> 00:09:48,434
as a clean-cut businessman,
228
00:09:48,436 --> 00:09:50,803
and I was right.
229
00:09:50,805 --> 00:09:54,207
These newly revealed dimples
just got the guy at Garage Depot
230
00:09:54,209 --> 00:09:57,143
interested in running a two-page spread.
231
00:09:57,145 --> 00:10:00,046
Oh, my God, that is fantastic!
232
00:10:00,048 --> 00:10:01,781
Now I can tell Harris I'm quitting
233
00:10:01,783 --> 00:10:03,806
and then make her fold
all my sweatshirts.
234
00:10:03,808 --> 00:10:05,839
Whoa! Hang on.
235
00:10:05,841 --> 00:10:07,230
Now, he won't do anything
236
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,052
until he sees a sample
of the new magazine first,
237
00:10:10,054 --> 00:10:12,254
so I need articles,
the layout, everything.
238
00:10:12,256 --> 00:10:13,846
Alright, well, how long do I have?
239
00:10:13,848 --> 00:10:15,128
Well, as soon as possible.
240
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:16,796
I don't want to lose this guy.
241
00:10:16,798 --> 00:10:18,838
And these dimples
only mesmerize for so long.
242
00:10:21,028 --> 00:10:22,984
Hey, uh, what do you think?
243
00:10:22,986 --> 00:10:25,577
Does this look right
for a fancy restaurant?
244
00:10:25,579 --> 00:10:28,012
Should I change? I should change.
245
00:10:28,014 --> 00:10:30,014
You look fine. Why are you so nervous?
246
00:10:30,016 --> 00:10:33,017
Tonight's the night
with Ron and Janelle.
247
00:10:33,019 --> 00:10:35,754
Uh, I, uh...
248
00:10:35,756 --> 00:10:37,890
I shaved my entire body.
249
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,164
I don't know who's going where,
250
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:44,029
so I cleared the decks.
251
00:10:45,465 --> 00:10:47,432
Ready for this?
252
00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:49,467
Yeah, I really care about them,
253
00:10:49,469 --> 00:10:52,504
and sex is a natural
expression of closeness
254
00:10:52,506 --> 00:10:55,039
between... three people.
255
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:58,943
Sorry, I-I couldn't help but overhear.
256
00:10:58,945 --> 00:11:00,879
Can I offer a man's point of
view that might be helpful?
257
00:11:00,881 --> 00:11:01,980
Sure.
258
00:11:01,982 --> 00:11:04,183
Are you out of your damn mind?!
259
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:06,718
You're a third wheel.
260
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,620
At some point, they're
gonna get tired of you
261
00:11:08,622 --> 00:11:10,188
and you're gonna get your heart broken.
262
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,044
You just don't understand
our relationship.
263
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:15,560
You're way too square
to get any of this.
264
00:11:15,562 --> 00:11:18,897
I'm sorry, but nature
works a certain way.
265
00:11:18,899 --> 00:11:20,532
Tea for? Two.
266
00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:22,333
Bicycle built for? Two.
267
00:11:22,335 --> 00:11:24,969
Noah's ark... two lions, two giraffes.
268
00:11:24,971 --> 00:11:26,971
It's not "Lady and the Tramp"
269
00:11:26,973 --> 00:11:30,041
with another Tramp sucking on
the middle of the spaghetti.
270
00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:33,211
Ew!
271
00:11:33,213 --> 00:11:35,914
Ew!
272
00:11:35,916 --> 00:11:38,516
That's... not helpful, Dan.
273
00:11:38,518 --> 00:11:40,518
I will make up my mind in the moment,
274
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,586
and that's that.
275
00:11:41,588 --> 00:11:43,644
I think it's exciting.
276
00:11:43,646 --> 00:11:45,535
But if you change your mind, remember,
277
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:46,959
"no" means "no"...
278
00:11:46,961 --> 00:11:48,328
and "no".
279
00:11:52,098 --> 00:11:54,783
Oh, and I moved the
"Mug Shot of the Week" column
280
00:11:54,785 --> 00:11:56,374
to the front page so that it pops.
281
00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:57,735
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
282
00:11:57,737 --> 00:12:00,738
Hey, how are you able to do this at work?
283
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,940
What are you doing?
284
00:12:01,942 --> 00:12:03,107
Are you...
285
00:12:03,109 --> 00:12:05,109
Are you hiding in a dressing room?
286
00:12:06,213 --> 00:12:07,946
Darlene, are you in there?
287
00:12:07,948 --> 00:12:10,382
Ooh, busted. Later.
288
00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:17,565
Hey, team, what are you guys doing
here? Shouldn't you be working?
289
00:12:19,226 --> 00:12:21,125
You're responsible
for your crew, Harris.
290
00:12:21,127 --> 00:12:22,560
When they fail, you fail.
291
00:12:22,562 --> 00:12:24,028
And when you fail, I fail.
292
00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:25,396
And I am this close
293
00:12:25,398 --> 00:12:27,755
to going to the managers'
conference in Branson.
294
00:12:27,757 --> 00:12:30,059
Two words... The... Judds.
295
00:12:32,973 --> 00:12:35,073
Do you have any idea how
bad this makes me look?
296
00:12:35,075 --> 00:12:36,808
You just got me in huge trouble.
297
00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:38,576
Well, I'm sorry. I had to finish this.
298
00:12:38,578 --> 00:12:39,878
It's really important.
299
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:40,880
So is your job.
300
00:12:41,737 --> 00:12:44,261
Hey, can't you just cover for me?
301
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,886
You know how many times
I got you out of P.E.?
302
00:12:46,888 --> 00:12:49,078
If anybody had their period
that many times in a year,
303
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,123
they'd need a transfusion.
304
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:53,813
This isn't P.E., Mom.
305
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,070
This is the real world.
306
00:12:55,072 --> 00:12:56,160
Uh, no, it isn't.
307
00:12:56,162 --> 00:12:57,736
This is the third ring of Hell,
308
00:12:57,738 --> 00:12:59,304
where you fold the same sweatshirt
309
00:12:59,306 --> 00:13:01,406
over and over for an eternity.
310
00:13:01,408 --> 00:13:03,575
You know, you're right.
311
00:13:03,577 --> 00:13:05,210
You're way too good for this place.
312
00:13:05,212 --> 00:13:07,179
So I'm gonna save you the
bother of coming in anymore.
313
00:13:07,181 --> 00:13:08,346
You're fired.
314
00:13:08,348 --> 00:13:09,838
What?
315
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,663
You can't fire your mother.
316
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,018
You're not my mother.
317
00:13:13,020 --> 00:13:14,553
You're Darlene from Women's Apparel,
318
00:13:14,555 --> 00:13:16,755
and she sucks.
319
00:13:16,757 --> 00:13:18,557
Don't forget to leave
your vest on the way out.
320
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:20,846
Oh! Oh, no, not the vest!
321
00:13:20,848 --> 00:13:22,881
Don't make me leave the vest!
322
00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:24,549
What will I wear to meet the queen?!
323
00:13:28,925 --> 00:13:30,996
That dinner was amazing.
324
00:13:30,998 --> 00:13:32,297
Right?
325
00:13:32,299 --> 00:13:34,333
Lobster was a little
garlicky, don't you think?
326
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,735
It was, wasn't it? Mints, everyone?
327
00:13:36,737 --> 00:13:37,936
- Oh. Yes.
- Oh. Yeah.
328
00:13:37,938 --> 00:13:39,605
Mm. Ron.
329
00:13:39,607 --> 00:13:40,773
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
330
00:13:40,775 --> 00:13:41,840
Mmm.
331
00:13:41,842 --> 00:13:43,075
Mm-hmm.
332
00:13:45,179 --> 00:13:46,245
Mm.
333
00:13:46,247 --> 00:13:47,346
How about some champagne?
334
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,281
Oh, yes, I'll take a bottle.
335
00:13:49,283 --> 00:13:52,117
I'll get it.
336
00:13:52,119 --> 00:13:53,886
Thanks, honey.
337
00:13:55,055 --> 00:13:57,756
Oh, well, wow.
338
00:13:57,758 --> 00:14:00,257
"The History of Parsley".
339
00:14:00,259 --> 00:14:04,396
Well you don't see that every day.
340
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:10,969
Oh, uh, I guess you
got started without me.
341
00:14:10,971 --> 00:14:13,238
Well, we, uh, started
talking about parsley,
342
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,642
and as you can imagine,
one thing led to another.
343
00:14:16,644 --> 00:14:18,410
Ron, I thought we agreed,
344
00:14:18,412 --> 00:14:19,978
we were all gonna do this together.
345
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:22,599
I was just trying to break the
ice, make Jackie more comfortable.
346
00:14:22,601 --> 00:14:24,000
Oh, no, don't worry about me.
347
00:14:24,002 --> 00:14:26,904
I've got a bottle of
comfortable right here.
348
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,422
I'm just saying that I
could have been in the room
349
00:14:30,424 --> 00:14:32,391
when we were making
Jackie more comfortable.
350
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,159
We're all here to have
a good time, Janelle.
351
00:14:34,161 --> 00:14:36,995
- That's great. When does my good time start?
- Janelle.
352
00:14:36,997 --> 00:14:38,498
- Ron.
- Hey, Ron,
353
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,550
uh, if you kiss Janelle,
354
00:14:40,552 --> 00:14:42,460
we can all be even and start fresh.
355
00:14:42,462 --> 00:14:44,514
Maybe Ron's tired of kissing me.
356
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,071
At least, that's what
he told the therapist.
357
00:14:46,073 --> 00:14:47,139
I didn't say "tired of".
358
00:14:47,141 --> 00:14:49,074
I said it felt like work.
359
00:14:49,076 --> 00:14:51,731
Time to clock in, Ron.
360
00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:53,927
Start kissing Janelle.
361
00:14:53,929 --> 00:14:56,052
I don't think Janelle
wants to be kissed.
362
00:14:56,054 --> 00:14:57,783
I think Janelle wants to be mad.
363
00:14:57,785 --> 00:15:00,378
Uh, you know, I was, uh,
364
00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:02,187
formerly Lanford's leading life coach,
365
00:15:02,189 --> 00:15:04,523
and I have found, what
really helps in situations...
366
00:15:04,525 --> 00:15:06,425
You know, this isn't
gonna make you a man.
367
00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:07,926
You failed at parsley,
368
00:15:07,928 --> 00:15:10,128
and you failed as a husband.
369
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:13,298
Everything you touch dies!
370
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,465
Well, I've been touching
myself for 20 years,
371
00:15:15,467 --> 00:15:16,501
and I'm not dead.
372
00:15:19,807 --> 00:15:21,807
I love Jackie.
373
00:15:21,809 --> 00:15:24,276
You love what, now?
374
00:15:24,278 --> 00:15:26,768
Come on, Jackie, you
feel it, too, don't you?
375
00:15:26,770 --> 00:15:29,505
Uh, I think this would be a good time
376
00:15:29,507 --> 00:15:32,618
for me to get my swan and skedaddle.
377
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:33,853
Take me with you, Jackie.
378
00:15:33,855 --> 00:15:35,196
No, not happening, Ron.
379
00:15:35,198 --> 00:15:37,778
I wanted a nice old-fashioned threesome,
380
00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:40,448
and you had to go make it weird!
381
00:15:43,616 --> 00:15:45,739
Oh, I have to vent to somebody.
382
00:15:45,741 --> 00:15:47,366
Your sister is out of her mind.
383
00:15:47,368 --> 00:15:49,134
I only put up with it
384
00:15:49,136 --> 00:15:52,172
because she's a joy to be around.
385
00:15:52,174 --> 00:15:55,666
She completely disrespected
me, so I had to fire her.
386
00:15:55,668 --> 00:15:58,301
She comes in and she starts
immediately screwing off,
387
00:15:58,303 --> 00:15:59,569
and she gets me in trouble.
388
00:15:59,571 --> 00:16:02,420
She doesn't care
that she's ruining my life.
389
00:16:02,422 --> 00:16:05,057
Well, she's horrible.
390
00:16:06,378 --> 00:16:09,146
We thought you knew.
391
00:16:09,148 --> 00:16:11,515
You really think I'm ruining your life?
392
00:16:11,517 --> 00:16:14,151
We got to talk. Give us a minute.
393
00:16:14,153 --> 00:16:15,353
Of course.
394
00:16:24,363 --> 00:16:26,963
Don't try to blame this on me.
395
00:16:26,965 --> 00:16:28,832
You could have given
me a couple more hours
396
00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,033
to finish the mockup.
397
00:16:30,035 --> 00:16:31,702
You just don't get that I'm an adult now
398
00:16:31,704 --> 00:16:33,537
and this is actually my career.
399
00:16:33,539 --> 00:16:35,195
Okay.
400
00:16:35,197 --> 00:16:37,153
You want me to treat you like an adult?
401
00:16:37,155 --> 00:16:39,383
Here's a truth I would never tell a kid.
402
00:16:40,913 --> 00:16:42,345
I'm desperate.
403
00:16:42,347 --> 00:16:44,848
Please. We're all desperate.
404
00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:47,317
No, you don't get it.
405
00:16:47,319 --> 00:16:50,087
If Mark and I weren't here,
living with your grandpa,
406
00:16:50,089 --> 00:16:51,555
we would be on the street.
407
00:16:51,557 --> 00:16:52,823
What do you mean?
408
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:55,392
You're starting that
magazine up with Ben, right?
409
00:16:55,394 --> 00:16:56,459
You're gonna be okay.
410
00:16:56,461 --> 00:16:58,662
But that may never happen.
411
00:16:58,664 --> 00:17:02,866
And this is my only shot at
having some kind of future.
412
00:17:02,868 --> 00:17:04,034
Wow.
413
00:17:04,036 --> 00:17:06,603
I-I guess I didn't
realize how bad it was.
414
00:17:06,605 --> 00:17:08,338
I'm sorry, Mom.
415
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:10,707
Well, I appreciate that,
416
00:17:10,709 --> 00:17:13,744
but you already fired
me, so it's too late.
417
00:17:13,746 --> 00:17:17,714
Oh, I'm not sorry I fired you.
418
00:17:17,716 --> 00:17:20,450
I'm sorry I called you a bitch.
419
00:17:20,452 --> 00:17:22,853
No, you... you didn't call me a bitch.
420
00:17:22,855 --> 00:17:25,021
I did, after you left.
421
00:17:28,894 --> 00:17:31,595
Hey, how'd your date go last night?
422
00:17:31,597 --> 00:17:34,900
Did you make God cry
with your triangle of sin?
423
00:17:34,902 --> 00:17:38,092
No, Dan, I did not.
424
00:17:38,094 --> 00:17:39,102
And you were wrong.
425
00:17:39,104 --> 00:17:40,403
They did not break up with me.
426
00:17:40,405 --> 00:17:43,607
They broke up with each other over me.
427
00:17:43,609 --> 00:17:45,876
I'm so sorry, Jackie.
428
00:17:45,878 --> 00:17:47,310
Not as sorry as I am.
429
00:17:47,312 --> 00:17:51,615
I shaved places that were
not meant to have stubble.
430
00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:52,949
Ugh.
431
00:17:52,951 --> 00:17:56,319
Could light a match off my inner thigh.
432
00:17:56,321 --> 00:17:58,221
Guess what.
433
00:17:58,223 --> 00:17:59,389
We're in business.
434
00:17:59,391 --> 00:18:01,458
Just got a call from
the Garage Depot guy.
435
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:03,960
He loved the mockup and
committed for months!
436
00:18:03,962 --> 00:18:05,095
Yes!
437
00:18:05,097 --> 00:18:06,396
This is amazing!
438
00:18:07,833 --> 00:18:09,633
Ye gods! What did you do?!
439
00:18:10,803 --> 00:18:14,471
What happened to my
beautiful hairy woodsman?
440
00:18:14,473 --> 00:18:17,741
You know, I do have feelings in here.
441
00:18:17,743 --> 00:18:19,109
Aww.
442
00:18:19,111 --> 00:18:21,111
Oh, it feels like warm bologna
443
00:18:21,113 --> 00:18:22,512
that's been sitting in the sun.
444
00:18:22,514 --> 00:18:24,347
Feel it.
445
00:18:24,349 --> 00:18:25,682
Okay, just come on,
446
00:18:25,684 --> 00:18:27,150
get it out of your system
447
00:18:27,152 --> 00:18:28,919
so we can all get on with our lives.
448
00:18:28,921 --> 00:18:31,288
Gross. It's like the bottom of a foot.
449
00:18:31,290 --> 00:18:33,582
No, no, it's softer.
450
00:18:33,584 --> 00:18:35,759
It's like the flappy part
of an old woman's arm
451
00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:37,183
when she's waving goodbye.
452
00:18:37,185 --> 00:18:38,328
Okay, enough!
453
00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:40,430
Dan, help me out here.
454
00:18:40,432 --> 00:18:44,601
Every man has the right
to shave his own face.
455
00:18:44,603 --> 00:18:47,332
I, for one, think it looks good.
456
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,825
I got tired of looking
at that alpaca's ass.
457
00:18:52,044 --> 00:18:53,877
Hi.
458
00:18:53,879 --> 00:18:55,512
Hey, what are you doing here?
459
00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:56,813
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
460
00:18:56,815 --> 00:18:59,216
I got fired.
461
00:18:59,218 --> 00:19:00,450
- Aw, no.
- Oh.
462
00:19:00,452 --> 00:19:02,519
No, wait, was it because of me?
463
00:19:02,521 --> 00:19:04,922
No, stupid robot replaced us all.
464
00:19:06,391 --> 00:19:08,191
Turns out he wasn't
just sweeping the floors.
465
00:19:08,193 --> 00:19:11,328
He was also secretly doing inventory.
466
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,697
Are they still gonna
help you go to college?
467
00:19:13,699 --> 00:19:15,365
- No.
- Oh.
468
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:17,868
Aw, man. Sorry, honey.
469
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:20,070
Can I stay here tonight?
470
00:19:20,072 --> 00:19:21,471
Yeah, of course.
471
00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:23,840
Hey, you know it's gonna be okay, right?
472
00:19:23,842 --> 00:19:25,642
Hey, cheer up.
473
00:19:25,644 --> 00:19:28,678
Look at Ben's face.
474
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,014
It's funny, right?
475
00:19:31,610 --> 00:19:34,546
Looks like somebody stuck eyes on a ham.
476
00:19:41,226 --> 00:19:43,275
Hey, that couple over there
wants to talk to you.
477
00:19:43,277 --> 00:19:45,177
I'm just helping out, so I
don't want to get involved.
478
00:19:45,179 --> 00:19:47,846
Oh, man, I hope they didn't
order the lamb goulash.
479
00:19:47,848 --> 00:19:49,248
I told Dwight to throw that out.
480
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,116
No, they haven't ordered anything yet.
481
00:19:51,118 --> 00:19:53,185
I don't think they're
looking for the food.
482
00:19:53,187 --> 00:19:55,621
They've both been checking Jackie out.
483
00:19:55,623 --> 00:19:57,823
I think they're looking for a thrupple.
484
00:19:57,825 --> 00:19:59,158
Oh, darn.
485
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,027
When you're in a small town,
I guess everybody talks.
486
00:20:02,029 --> 00:20:04,572
Well, I know I told
everybody who came in.
487
00:20:04,574 --> 00:20:06,163
Come over there with me.
488
00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:07,666
The guy's wearing a giant cross.
489
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:09,636
Might be a weirdo.
490
00:20:13,063 --> 00:20:15,286
Uh, may I help you?
491
00:20:15,288 --> 00:20:17,678
Oh, I certainly hope so.
492
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,378
But, honestly,
493
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:22,047
we're only looking for one other person.
494
00:20:22,049 --> 00:20:24,483
But we'd take two.
495
00:20:24,485 --> 00:20:26,385
Well, I'm sorry.
496
00:20:26,387 --> 00:20:28,157
I know what you may have heard,
497
00:20:28,159 --> 00:20:31,784
but I'm really not a part
of that lifestyle anymore.
498
00:20:31,786 --> 00:20:34,187
What about the boy?
499
00:20:35,329 --> 00:20:37,129
Well, that's very flattering,
500
00:20:37,131 --> 00:20:38,865
but the boy's not interested, either.
501
00:20:43,027 --> 00:20:45,927
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