1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,214 Ooh, look at this apartment. 2 00:00:04,215 --> 00:00:06,583 I mean, they want $1,100, but it's worth it. 3 00:00:06,584 --> 00:00:09,052 Are you kidding? Look at the size of that fridge. 4 00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:10,220 It's tiny. 5 00:00:11,222 --> 00:00:13,223 That's a wine fridge, Elly May. 6 00:00:14,425 --> 00:00:15,659 Oh, hey, look. 7 00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:17,527 This place has got one of those, 8 00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:21,164 and it's got three bedrooms, a bay window, 9 00:00:21,165 --> 00:00:23,333 a fireplace, hardwood floors, 10 00:00:23,334 --> 00:00:24,834 it's in our price range. 11 00:00:24,835 --> 00:00:26,369 Something's got to be wrong. 12 00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,737 Let me check. 13 00:00:27,738 --> 00:00:28,905 Oh, yep. 14 00:00:28,906 --> 00:00:31,574 Sex offender a block away. 15 00:00:31,575 --> 00:00:33,843 But he exposed himself in a library, 16 00:00:33,844 --> 00:00:35,312 so that doesn't really affect us. 17 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,281 Hey, guys. 18 00:00:38,282 --> 00:00:39,382 I've got a surprise. 19 00:00:39,383 --> 00:00:41,818 We're going to Mexico! 20 00:00:41,819 --> 00:00:44,087 Thank you, Jackie. I was about to tell them that. 21 00:00:44,088 --> 00:00:46,089 Oh, fine, well, you tell them 22 00:00:46,090 --> 00:00:48,692 how we're going to the border bridge in El Paso 23 00:00:48,693 --> 00:00:50,560 so that Emilio can meet Beverly Rose 24 00:00:50,561 --> 00:00:52,162 for the very first time. 25 00:00:54,198 --> 00:00:55,765 Oh, damn it. I did it again. 26 00:00:56,834 --> 00:00:58,101 Well, this seems very sudden. 27 00:00:58,102 --> 00:00:59,936 Uh, who's gonna run the restaurant? 28 00:00:59,937 --> 00:01:02,339 Oh, well, uh, Emilio had a couple days off, 29 00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:04,074 so it seemed like a good time, 30 00:01:04,075 --> 00:01:06,910 and DJ said that he would cover for us until we got back. 31 00:01:06,911 --> 00:01:09,412 Uh, you're aware that DJ's gonna be 32 00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:11,748 doing magic tricks for the customers, right? 33 00:01:11,749 --> 00:01:13,983 You know what's great for a restaurant? 34 00:01:13,984 --> 00:01:16,386 A filthy dove walking across your plate 35 00:01:16,387 --> 00:01:19,122 while you try to eat a tuna melt. 36 00:01:19,123 --> 00:01:20,523 Gotta go. Bye. 37 00:01:24,061 --> 00:01:26,096 - Hey, Becky. - Yeah? 38 00:01:26,097 --> 00:01:27,731 How can you afford this trip? 39 00:01:27,732 --> 00:01:30,700 Emilio's tías are paying for the gas and hotels. 40 00:01:30,701 --> 00:01:33,136 Hey, look, I know they're putting pressure on you 41 00:01:33,137 --> 00:01:35,238 to marry him and make him legal, 42 00:01:35,239 --> 00:01:37,207 but you're not really thinking of doing that, are you? 43 00:01:37,208 --> 00:01:38,908 Becky is not gonna fake some marriage 44 00:01:38,909 --> 00:01:40,944 just to get Emilio into the country. 45 00:01:40,945 --> 00:01:42,445 My God, it would make it impossible 46 00:01:42,446 --> 00:01:45,281 for her to meet and date anybody for two years, 47 00:01:45,282 --> 00:01:47,217 which is the amount of time they have to spend 48 00:01:47,218 --> 00:01:50,720 to pretend being married to fool the government. 49 00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:52,722 Why are you so wired? 50 00:01:52,723 --> 00:01:56,259 I just finished off 122-hour energy drinks 51 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:57,761 so that I'm, uh... 52 00:01:57,762 --> 00:02:00,296 I'm good to drive for... 24 hours. 53 00:02:00,297 --> 00:02:02,365 It doesn't really work that way. 54 00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:04,501 They don't kick in one after the other. 55 00:02:04,502 --> 00:02:05,602 It's all at the same time. 56 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,803 So now you're just gonna be 57 00:02:06,804 --> 00:02:08,304 on the verge of having a heart attack 58 00:02:08,305 --> 00:02:09,339 for the next two hours. 59 00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:10,473 Oh, my God, you're right. 60 00:02:10,474 --> 00:02:12,442 That explains the thumping in my head. 61 00:02:12,443 --> 00:02:13,510 It's my heart. 62 00:02:13,511 --> 00:02:14,544 Let's get on the road. 63 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:18,409 She's such a scatterbrain. 64 00:02:18,449 --> 00:02:21,184 I don't know how she makes it from one day to the next. 65 00:02:26,998 --> 00:02:28,257 Baby. 66 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,335 Thanks again 67 00:02:32,336 --> 00:02:34,471 for the ride from the grocery store. 68 00:02:34,472 --> 00:02:35,538 It would've been hard 69 00:02:35,539 --> 00:02:37,107 walking back with all this stuff. 70 00:02:37,108 --> 00:02:39,709 Well, I was driving down the street 71 00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:42,178 and I-I saw this sad old man 72 00:02:42,179 --> 00:02:44,080 struggling with a couple grocery bags. 73 00:02:45,816 --> 00:02:50,253 And I thought, "Hey, there's my boyfriend... 74 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,822 and his face isn't the right color." 75 00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:55,091 When I get my truck out of the shop, 76 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,455 my face will be the right color all the time. 77 00:02:58,805 --> 00:02:59,905 When are you getting it back? 78 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,098 As soon as I give 'em 79 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,332 all the money I have left in the bank. 80 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,494 I may be at the point of going to the mall 81 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,421 and hurling myself down the escalator. 82 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,657 Well, there's nobody in the mall. 83 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,426 You'll lay there for days. 84 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,295 Hey, uh, you wanna catch a movie or somethin'? 85 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,731 I can't. I got some stuff to do. 86 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,033 Uh, I'll see you later. 87 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,545 You don't have stuff. 88 00:03:23,546 --> 00:03:25,246 Why are you trying to get rid of me? 89 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:28,216 It's embarrassing. 90 00:03:28,217 --> 00:03:29,384 I got to go to the bank. 91 00:03:29,385 --> 00:03:30,785 They're foreclosing on the house. 92 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:33,555 Oh, my God. 93 00:03:33,556 --> 00:03:37,225 Well, why didn't you tell me? We're a couple now. 94 00:03:37,226 --> 00:03:40,195 We're supposed to be there for each other. 95 00:03:40,196 --> 00:03:41,196 You're right. 96 00:03:41,197 --> 00:03:42,397 Gimme $4,000. 97 00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,334 I don't have it. 98 00:03:46,335 --> 00:03:50,238 But I have cleavage, and I know how to use it. 99 00:03:50,239 --> 00:03:52,340 Alright, let's go. 100 00:03:52,341 --> 00:03:54,409 Better to have 'em and not need 'em 101 00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:55,910 than need 'em and not have 'em. 102 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,949 sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 103 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:08,723 The Conners - S02E20 - Season Finale Bridge Over Troubled Conners 104 00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:37,735 "The Conners" is recorded in front of a live studio audience. 105 00:04:37,741 --> 00:04:40,509 Well, thanks for coming with me to look at apartments, guys. 106 00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:43,345 - Wow! - Nice. 107 00:04:43,346 --> 00:04:46,316 It's even better than the pictures. 108 00:04:46,318 --> 00:04:48,153 Look at all the architectural details. 109 00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,189 You don't get this in the newer buildings. 110 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,290 Oh, I love it. 111 00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:54,993 I'm hungry. How long's this gonna be? 112 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,461 You said we were going somewhere to eat. 113 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,247 We're here. Nobody's home. 114 00:04:58,248 --> 00:04:59,715 Go to the fridge and get whatever you want. 115 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:04,153 But before you go, um, Darlene... 116 00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:05,454 Yeah, I think this is it. 117 00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:06,755 Alright, let's do it. 118 00:05:06,756 --> 00:05:10,559 Guys, Ben and I are moving in together, 119 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,928 and if we get this place, 120 00:05:12,929 --> 00:05:15,064 we're legally obligated to bring you with us! 121 00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:19,034 Together. 122 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,603 W-Why aren't you guys excited? 123 00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,572 Because we've been through this before. 124 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,075 You said we were going to move to Chicago with Ben, 125 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,576 and that didn't happen. 126 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,777 One of you is gonna sleep with Dad 127 00:05:28,778 --> 00:05:31,346 and screw this up. 128 00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:35,551 Well, it is kinda my turn. 129 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:38,287 You know what, that's not gonna happen this time. 130 00:05:38,288 --> 00:05:40,055 Go explore, have fun. 131 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,125 Yeah. 132 00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:44,460 Guy. There's a guy. 133 00:05:44,461 --> 00:05:46,695 There's a guy in there. 134 00:05:46,696 --> 00:05:48,731 It's okay. I'm Cyril. 135 00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:49,932 I live here. 136 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:53,502 So, feel free to, uh, look around, but quietly. 137 00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:55,637 I just got the bird to sleep. 138 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,274 Relationships, am I right? 139 00:06:00,810 --> 00:06:02,511 Oh, uh, you have a bird? 140 00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:05,647 I'm so tired of hearing that. 141 00:06:05,648 --> 00:06:08,183 No, I don't have a bird. 142 00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:09,651 I'm with a bird. 143 00:06:09,652 --> 00:06:11,653 We share the space. 144 00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:13,856 We're equals. 145 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:21,296 So... Cyril, um... 146 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,899 why are you leaving such a great place? 147 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,502 Originally, there were three of us. 148 00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:29,204 Uh, but Pretty Bird passed, 149 00:06:29,205 --> 00:06:31,740 and now it's just me and Mrs. Featherbottom. 150 00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:35,277 She just can't be around all the memories. 151 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,648 So, how soon will you and Mrs. Featherbottom 152 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,783 be leaving the apartment? 153 00:06:40,784 --> 00:06:42,117 Uh, I haven't broken it to her yet. 154 00:06:42,118 --> 00:06:43,652 She's been here since this was my mom's place. 155 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,653 Yeah. 156 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,688 She still hasn't gotten over her death. 157 00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:48,690 Wake up, Mommy. 158 00:06:48,691 --> 00:06:49,925 Wake up, Mommy. 159 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,700 He would be so perfect for Jackie. 160 00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:08,043 Wow. Wish I had a bank like this. 161 00:07:08,044 --> 00:07:10,445 I took a sandwich into my bank once, 162 00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:12,581 and they wouldn't even cash my check. 163 00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:15,184 'Course, I didn't have any money. 164 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,586 This ham represents 40 years of friendship. 165 00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,655 Jim helped me buy that house. 166 00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,591 And the day we closed, I brought him a ham. 167 00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:23,926 Now every time I have a problem, 168 00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:25,627 I bring him a ham, and he helps me out. 169 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,264 - Hey, Jim! - Hey, Dan. 170 00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:33,368 Oh, Mr. Potter! 171 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:35,103 - Uh, this is Louise. - Hi. 172 00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:38,173 And you remember ham. 173 00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:40,342 Of course. 174 00:07:40,343 --> 00:07:41,743 Ham was at my wedding. 175 00:07:41,744 --> 00:07:44,613 See, this is so great. 176 00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:47,049 Big business has gotten so faceless, 177 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,219 but you guys are just, "Hey neighbor, got a problem. 178 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,487 Here's a ham." 179 00:07:52,488 --> 00:07:53,755 Well, you know why I'm here. 180 00:07:53,756 --> 00:07:54,823 I just... I need another month. 181 00:07:54,824 --> 00:07:56,191 Or two. 182 00:07:56,192 --> 00:07:57,726 Maybe three. 183 00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,629 But I won't take four unless you insist. 184 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,566 Look, Dan, I'd love to help you out, 185 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,901 but I can't this time. 186 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,002 What? 187 00:08:08,304 --> 00:08:10,038 Come on, Jim. You're kidding, right? 188 00:08:10,039 --> 00:08:11,940 You know they're gonna take my house. 189 00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:13,842 Yeah, I know that, Dan. 190 00:08:13,843 --> 00:08:15,811 Y-You don't think I wanna help ya? 191 00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:17,813 Hey, Dan's good for the money. 192 00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:20,282 Tell Jim about that big apartment complex 193 00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:22,951 you just bid on over on Spaulding. 194 00:08:22,952 --> 00:08:24,553 It's huge. 195 00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:26,788 And the apartments all have walls, 196 00:08:26,789 --> 00:08:28,790 which is great for a drywaller. 197 00:08:28,791 --> 00:08:31,126 Isn't that right, Dan? 198 00:08:31,127 --> 00:08:32,761 That is right, Louise. 199 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,196 Thank you, girls. 200 00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,434 Look, i-i-it's not up to me anymore. 201 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:40,769 You know, we got bought out, 202 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:43,338 and I'm just trying to hang on myself. 203 00:08:43,339 --> 00:08:46,875 You know, they want somebody cheaper and younger in my spot. 204 00:08:46,876 --> 00:08:49,411 So they tell me what to do, and I do it. 205 00:08:49,412 --> 00:08:51,280 Well, they told you to screw me over. 206 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:54,816 No, they told me that you're an unacceptable risk. 207 00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:56,084 They got an algorithm now. 208 00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,653 An algorithm. 209 00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:59,154 So I'm a number now. 210 00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:02,291 I got some machine telling me get out of my damn house. 211 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,692 My whole family's living there! 212 00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:06,361 Where are they supposed to... 213 00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:12,301 That's not your problem. 214 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,102 Thanks anyway, Jim. 215 00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:15,971 I'm sorry. Hey, tell Gail I said hi. 216 00:09:28,512 --> 00:09:31,113 Look, it's your daddy! 217 00:09:31,114 --> 00:09:33,716 Mi amor! 218 00:09:33,717 --> 00:09:37,353 Ay. Ay, que lindisima. 219 00:09:37,354 --> 00:09:40,222 Oh. 220 00:09:40,223 --> 00:09:42,692 I can't believe I'm actually holding her. 221 00:09:44,594 --> 00:09:46,195 She's so wonderful. 222 00:09:46,196 --> 00:09:47,496 You think that's good, 223 00:09:47,497 --> 00:09:48,764 you should change some diapers. 224 00:09:48,765 --> 00:09:50,533 It's transcendent. 225 00:09:50,534 --> 00:09:53,536 Thank you for driving all this way. 226 00:09:53,537 --> 00:09:54,804 Oh. 227 00:09:55,906 --> 00:09:58,074 Your tías were so helpful. 228 00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,443 They even gave us little medals with saints on them 229 00:10:00,444 --> 00:10:02,244 to "take care of us." 230 00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:04,680 I used one to scratch off a lottery ticket in Missouri. 231 00:10:04,681 --> 00:10:06,248 I won 10 bucks, 232 00:10:06,249 --> 00:10:08,951 so shout-out to St. Christopher. 233 00:10:08,952 --> 00:10:13,189 We are going to have a great day. 234 00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:15,224 I can't wait to show you Parque Central. 235 00:10:15,225 --> 00:10:19,662 Oh, my mother gave me her earrings 236 00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:21,430 for Beverly Rose. 237 00:10:21,431 --> 00:10:23,499 They're real gold with little diamonds. 238 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:26,869 These are so nice. 239 00:10:26,870 --> 00:10:29,405 Uh, I'll just put them in my ears for safe keeping 240 00:10:29,406 --> 00:10:31,240 'til she turns 18. 241 00:10:33,577 --> 00:10:35,478 - Oh, yes. - Yes, baby. 242 00:10:35,479 --> 00:10:37,480 We're in Mexico. 243 00:10:41,852 --> 00:10:44,153 Hey. Is my dad around? 244 00:10:44,154 --> 00:10:46,589 We saw the greatest apartment yesterday, 245 00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:47,823 and it's super close by. 246 00:10:47,824 --> 00:10:49,525 We got to tell him. 247 00:10:49,526 --> 00:10:51,160 Yeah, I brought him some beer to celebrate. 248 00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:53,329 You know, it's not every day your little 43-year-old girl 249 00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:54,697 leaves the nest. 250 00:10:56,399 --> 00:10:57,900 Uh... 251 00:10:57,901 --> 00:10:59,268 That's great, you guys. 252 00:10:59,269 --> 00:11:01,804 Uh, look, before you tell your dad, 253 00:11:01,805 --> 00:11:03,739 I got to give you a heads-up. 254 00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,708 He's in trouble with the mortgage. 255 00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:07,543 The bank's gonna take the house. 256 00:11:07,544 --> 00:11:09,378 Well, he talked to Jim, right? 257 00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:11,380 He brought the ham? 258 00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:12,748 Yeah. 259 00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:14,116 Yeah, it didn't work. 260 00:11:14,117 --> 00:11:15,651 He owes four grand. 261 00:11:15,652 --> 00:11:17,653 Four grand?! 262 00:11:17,654 --> 00:11:19,789 How the hell did he get that far behind? 263 00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:21,524 I don't know. 264 00:11:21,525 --> 00:11:23,492 You know, work's been slow. 265 00:11:23,493 --> 00:11:26,729 Sometimes things just pile up on ya. 266 00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:27,797 He's too proud to tell you, 267 00:11:27,798 --> 00:11:29,431 but I thought you should know. 268 00:11:31,568 --> 00:11:33,536 Damn. 269 00:11:33,537 --> 00:11:36,105 Just never ends for you guys. 270 00:11:36,106 --> 00:11:38,908 One of your ancestors mess with a witch or somethin'? 271 00:11:41,144 --> 00:11:43,679 I'm not gonna let my dad lose his house. 272 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,114 I hear ya. 273 00:11:45,115 --> 00:11:46,549 Maybe we could, you know, 274 00:11:46,550 --> 00:11:47,817 sell some more ads for the magazine, 275 00:11:47,818 --> 00:11:49,218 put together a few bucks. 276 00:11:49,219 --> 00:11:54,089 Or... we use our deposit money for the new apartment 277 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,157 to bail him out. 278 00:11:56,693 --> 00:11:58,060 Where are we supposed to go? 279 00:11:58,061 --> 00:12:00,996 Well, we could live here... I mean, just for a while... 280 00:12:00,997 --> 00:12:02,498 And help with the mortgage payments 281 00:12:02,499 --> 00:12:03,799 just until he gets back on his feet. 282 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,269 Look, Darlene, I know you love your dad, 283 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:08,671 and so do I, 284 00:12:08,672 --> 00:12:11,574 but it's not gonna be for a little while. 285 00:12:11,575 --> 00:12:15,511 Um, he is a 65-year-old construction guy, 286 00:12:15,512 --> 00:12:18,881 and he's not just gonna suddenly start making more money. 287 00:12:18,882 --> 00:12:22,117 Look, I-I'm sorry. My dad needs me. 288 00:12:22,118 --> 00:12:23,686 Darlene. 289 00:12:23,687 --> 00:12:26,856 Look, I don't want to live here, okay? 290 00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:29,091 We finally agreed to move in together 291 00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:30,726 so we can start our own life. 292 00:12:30,727 --> 00:12:32,695 Now, what, you're gonna make me the bad guy 293 00:12:32,696 --> 00:12:34,730 'cause I don't wanna move into your childhood home? 294 00:12:34,731 --> 00:12:36,832 Look, we can't lose this house. 295 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,701 It will kill my dad. 296 00:12:38,702 --> 00:12:41,203 And every memory I have is here. 297 00:12:41,204 --> 00:12:44,173 Staying up all night, fighting with Becky in our room, 298 00:12:44,174 --> 00:12:46,275 teaching DJ how to sled down the stairs 299 00:12:46,276 --> 00:12:47,543 on a piece of cardboard. 300 00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:52,781 I mean, this is the last place I saw my mom alive. 301 00:12:52,782 --> 00:12:54,783 I don't want some other family moving in here 302 00:12:54,784 --> 00:12:56,218 and erasing all those memories. 303 00:12:56,219 --> 00:12:59,622 Hey, look, those memories are in you. 304 00:12:59,623 --> 00:13:01,891 They are not in this house. 305 00:13:01,892 --> 00:13:03,626 Now, I know that this is hard for you, 306 00:13:03,627 --> 00:13:06,795 but it is not the kids' job to rescue the parents 307 00:13:06,796 --> 00:13:09,298 at the expense of their own lives. 308 00:13:09,299 --> 00:13:11,100 You can't save everybody. 309 00:13:11,101 --> 00:13:12,635 Yeah, of course you feel that way now, 310 00:13:12,636 --> 00:13:14,637 but eventually, your parents will need help, too, 311 00:13:14,638 --> 00:13:16,639 and I will do whatever it takes. 312 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:17,873 But you won't have to, 313 00:13:17,874 --> 00:13:19,642 because my parents have paid off their house, 314 00:13:19,643 --> 00:13:21,810 they have a fat pension and long-term health insurance. 315 00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:25,981 Well, tell those arrogant bastards 316 00:13:25,982 --> 00:13:28,250 to get over here, grab a bucket, and start bailing, 317 00:13:28,251 --> 00:13:30,986 'cause the Conners are going down! 318 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,091 That was really fun. 319 00:13:36,092 --> 00:13:37,760 The people here are so nice, 320 00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:39,728 and I noticed the tequila's so cheap! 321 00:13:39,729 --> 00:13:41,363 The people here are so nice 322 00:13:41,364 --> 00:13:43,732 because the tequila's so cheap. 323 00:13:43,733 --> 00:13:46,669 Well, I'm glad I didn't come here when I was a drunk. 324 00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:48,137 I would've died. 325 00:13:48,138 --> 00:13:52,541 Hey, you being a drunk wasn't all bad. 326 00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:54,843 We made a beautiful baby. 327 00:13:54,844 --> 00:13:56,612 Yeah, we did. 328 00:13:59,282 --> 00:14:01,784 Uh, well, I guess we got to go. 329 00:14:04,688 --> 00:14:07,289 Goodbye, Beverly Rose. 330 00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:12,995 There you go. 331 00:14:12,996 --> 00:14:14,763 Yes. 332 00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:16,865 I might not be there to watch you grow up... 333 00:14:18,134 --> 00:14:20,903 ...but I promise to FaceTime you as much as I can. 334 00:14:22,172 --> 00:14:23,806 Te amo, mi amor. 335 00:14:23,807 --> 00:14:26,875 Que dios te bendiga. 336 00:14:26,876 --> 00:14:29,345 This won't be the last time you see her. 337 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,914 I'll come back, like, every few months. 338 00:14:31,915 --> 00:14:34,216 No, you won't. 339 00:14:34,217 --> 00:14:36,852 You can't afford to, and I understand that. 340 00:14:36,853 --> 00:14:39,588 I will. 341 00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:41,657 You'll see. 342 00:14:46,930 --> 00:14:48,764 Bye, Emilio. 343 00:14:56,239 --> 00:14:58,741 So, do you wanna get married? 344 00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:10,764 If you're looking for all those weird ice crystals, so I made the kids eat it. 345 00:15:14,242 --> 00:15:15,409 Holy crap. 346 00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:16,677 What happened? 347 00:15:16,678 --> 00:15:19,580 A guy owed me money for a drywall job, 348 00:15:19,581 --> 00:15:21,482 and he wouldn't pay me in full. 349 00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:23,250 We negotiated, 350 00:15:23,251 --> 00:15:25,353 and we thought the best way to settle it 351 00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:28,155 was to punch each other in the face. 352 00:15:28,156 --> 00:15:30,124 I got 200 bucks out of it, though. 353 00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:31,359 Whoa. 354 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,693 What's the other guy look like? 355 00:15:32,694 --> 00:15:35,963 Oh, about 6'1", brown hair, 356 00:15:35,964 --> 00:15:39,700 pretty good-looking, 'til he had the broken nose. 357 00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:41,602 Dad, you can't go around beating people up 358 00:15:41,603 --> 00:15:42,803 who owe you money 359 00:15:42,804 --> 00:15:44,672 just to keep the bank from taking the house. 360 00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:46,807 Damn it, Louise shouldn't have told you that. 361 00:15:46,808 --> 00:15:47,875 Well, I'm glad she did. 362 00:15:47,876 --> 00:15:48,943 I want to help you out. 363 00:15:48,944 --> 00:15:50,511 You already help me out! 364 00:15:50,512 --> 00:15:52,680 I don't see anybody else around here 365 00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:56,283 filling up old water bottles with gas station hand soap. 366 00:15:56,284 --> 00:15:58,119 I'm talking about the mortgage. 367 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,520 You don't have the money. 368 00:15:59,521 --> 00:16:02,623 Well, you know what, I'll... I'll sell my car, 369 00:16:02,624 --> 00:16:03,624 and I'll take the bus. 370 00:16:03,625 --> 00:16:04,625 I'll get a second job. 371 00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:05,793 I'll go back to the casino. 372 00:16:05,794 --> 00:16:07,461 I will do whatever it takes 373 00:16:07,462 --> 00:16:08,562 so that we don't fall behind again. 374 00:16:08,563 --> 00:16:09,797 No, you're not doing that. 375 00:16:09,798 --> 00:16:12,099 Your dad's right. 376 00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:15,603 You're not doing that. 377 00:16:15,604 --> 00:16:18,506 We're doing that. 378 00:16:18,507 --> 00:16:21,375 Now, together, Darlene and I have enough 379 00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:23,310 to pull you out of the hole, 380 00:16:23,311 --> 00:16:25,813 and then, you know, we'll take over the mortgage. 381 00:16:25,814 --> 00:16:27,248 No, you won't. 382 00:16:27,249 --> 00:16:28,682 Mark told me about the apartment. 383 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:30,651 I'm not taking your deposit money. 384 00:16:30,652 --> 00:16:32,420 I will not be a burden on you kids. 385 00:16:32,421 --> 00:16:34,722 No, you're not a burden. 386 00:16:34,723 --> 00:16:35,856 I mean, you always figured out a way 387 00:16:35,857 --> 00:16:37,158 to keep this roof over our heads. 388 00:16:37,159 --> 00:16:38,325 It's our turn now. 389 00:16:38,326 --> 00:16:39,860 The bank's not taking my house. 390 00:16:39,861 --> 00:16:41,595 You're not taking my house. 391 00:16:41,596 --> 00:16:42,830 I will figure something out. 392 00:16:42,831 --> 00:16:44,899 Don't be so stubborn, Dan. 393 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:47,368 Look, we're helping ya, and that's that. 394 00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:49,136 I already kicked a couple asses today. 395 00:16:49,137 --> 00:16:50,638 Don't make me kick yours. Boop! 396 00:16:56,611 --> 00:16:58,746 That was a hero moment 397 00:16:58,747 --> 00:17:01,115 that was super unsatisfying. 398 00:17:03,218 --> 00:17:04,718 Not to me. 399 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:05,986 Thank you. 400 00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:12,626 Hey, you don't think he's crazy enough 401 00:17:12,627 --> 00:17:14,428 to let the bank come for the house 402 00:17:14,429 --> 00:17:16,664 instead of taking our help? 403 00:17:16,665 --> 00:17:17,865 Well, you know, 404 00:17:17,866 --> 00:17:19,600 we've got a little time to work on him 405 00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:21,102 before the eviction. 406 00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:23,237 He's probably got about six months 407 00:17:23,238 --> 00:17:24,672 before the house sells at auction. 408 00:17:24,673 --> 00:17:27,041 Now, that's when the sheriff comes and grabs your dad, 409 00:17:27,042 --> 00:17:28,742 drags him out kicking and screaming. 410 00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,411 And, of course, if he has any weapons in the house, 411 00:17:30,412 --> 00:17:32,279 it could end up being a SWAT situation. 412 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,381 And as I understand it, if the guy has a shot, 413 00:17:34,382 --> 00:17:36,450 he'll take the shot. 414 00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:40,788 Uh, your "everything is gonna be alright" speech 415 00:17:40,789 --> 00:17:41,789 needs some work. 416 00:17:44,292 --> 00:17:47,027 !Hola, mi familia! 417 00:17:47,028 --> 00:17:49,763 - Hey! - Oh! 418 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,265 How was Mexico? 419 00:17:51,266 --> 00:17:52,933 It was good. 420 00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:54,768 I dropped Jackie off at home. 421 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,403 God, that woman can talk. 422 00:17:57,272 --> 00:17:58,906 Oh, she was going on and on 423 00:17:58,907 --> 00:18:02,409 about how she used to date Dr. Seuss back in the day, 424 00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:03,944 40 years ago, 425 00:18:03,945 --> 00:18:06,213 but he would never reveal his true identity. 426 00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:09,150 She claims she did him on a plane. 427 00:18:09,151 --> 00:18:12,353 She swears she did him on a train. 428 00:18:12,354 --> 00:18:14,688 - Heeey! - Hey. Hey, welcome back, Becky. 429 00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:15,689 Hey, Beck. 430 00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:17,658 - Hey! - Mm. 431 00:18:17,659 --> 00:18:18,759 How was the trip? 432 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,294 Yeah, how's Emilio doing? 433 00:18:20,295 --> 00:18:23,130 Uh, he's changed a little bit. 434 00:18:23,131 --> 00:18:24,932 Um, he's married now. 435 00:18:24,933 --> 00:18:26,867 Sorry, Becky. 436 00:18:26,868 --> 00:18:28,469 Don't be. 437 00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:29,703 He's married to me. 438 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,141 What the hell are you talking about? 439 00:18:34,142 --> 00:18:36,911 Uh... I don't know. 440 00:18:36,912 --> 00:18:39,013 I saw Emilio with Beverly Rose, 441 00:18:39,014 --> 00:18:40,848 and I thought, 442 00:18:40,849 --> 00:18:43,284 how would I feel if I couldn't see her? 443 00:18:43,285 --> 00:18:44,852 And I then I said, "Don't look back, 444 00:18:44,853 --> 00:18:46,187 don't look back, don't look back." 445 00:18:46,188 --> 00:18:48,289 And then I did... 446 00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:50,057 and then I married him. 447 00:18:51,459 --> 00:18:53,561 Wow. 448 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,067 So, he's moving in? 449 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,425 Relax. 450 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,427 He has to stay in Mexico for two years 451 00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,596 while we pretend we're in a real marriage. 452 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,598 Then he can get a waiver to come back. 453 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:05,134 Oh, you better be damn careful. 454 00:19:05,135 --> 00:19:06,402 You're breaking the law. 455 00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:08,170 They could throw you in jail. 456 00:19:08,171 --> 00:19:10,873 Ooh, diamonds. 457 00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:12,441 If you go to jail, 458 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:13,476 I can wear those earrings 459 00:19:13,477 --> 00:19:16,078 to keep 'em safe while you're gone. 460 00:19:25,756 --> 00:19:27,523 Hola, Becky. 461 00:19:29,652 --> 00:19:31,337 What are you doing here? 462 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,004 Once I held Beverly Rose, I realized 463 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,173 I didn't want to miss any more of her life. 464 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:38,376 Emilio, the point of us getting married 465 00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:40,245 was so you could come back legally 466 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,814 and be part of Beverly Rose's life. 467 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:45,617 If they catch you here, you'll be banned forever. 468 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,686 You're supposed to be in Mexico. 469 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,421 Check it out. I am. 470 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,590 Here is me in Juarez 471 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:55,193 celebrating 2021 with my New Year's glasses. 472 00:19:55,913 --> 00:19:58,448 Here's me in Juarez gaining a little weight 473 00:19:58,449 --> 00:20:00,516 in the winter 2021 474 00:20:00,517 --> 00:20:04,554 and then taking off the weight in the summer. 475 00:20:04,555 --> 00:20:07,457 It's a good thing you took off the weight, 476 00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:10,126 because you're gonna have to run from immigration 477 00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:12,061 when they catch you here! 478 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,211 Go now! 479 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,813 It's late! 480 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,449 There's no traffic! 481 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:18,917 I'll be fine. 482 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,285 I'll be staying with my tías. 483 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,688 But right now, I really want to see Beverly Rose. 484 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,431 Okay. 485 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,918 But you showing up here without telling me is wrong. 486 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,231 This lack of communication 487 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,666 does not bode well for our fake marriage. 488 00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:43,004 Bienvenidos. Bien... 489 00:20:43,029 --> 00:20:44,557 Uh, uh, uh, uh, quick question. 490 00:20:44,559 --> 00:20:46,093 Is this where you're teaching your kids 491 00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:48,396 how to appropriate somebody else's culture? 492 00:20:48,397 --> 00:20:50,364 Yeah, I'll bet you can't wait to get home, 493 00:20:50,365 --> 00:20:51,565 "talk in an accent," 494 00:20:51,566 --> 00:20:53,501 put those sombreros down on the ground, 495 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,537 dance around them while your kids shake the maracas. 496 00:20:56,538 --> 00:20:58,372 You know who can't afford those maracas... 497 00:20:58,373 --> 00:20:59,907 The kids that make the maracas. 498 00:20:59,908 --> 00:21:01,375 Yeah, keep walkin'. 499 00:21:01,376 --> 00:21:03,277 Bienvenidos. 500 00:21:04,279 --> 00:21:06,914 Oh, classic. Piñatas. 501 00:21:06,915 --> 00:21:08,115 You gonna take those home 502 00:21:08,116 --> 00:21:10,284 to your little entitled white-kid family? 503 00:21:10,285 --> 00:21:11,585 Alright, go ahead. 504 00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:14,422 Shout "Ay-yi-yi," beat the burro with a stick. 505 00:21:14,423 --> 00:21:16,824 Latinos come in all colors. 506 00:21:16,825 --> 00:21:18,726 We're Mexican, dumb-ass. 507 00:21:18,727 --> 00:21:20,895 Ohh.