1
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,589
- Surprise!
- What the hell?
2
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,883
It's not my birthday.
Is it your birthday?
3
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:11,762
- You don't know my birthday?
- It's not her birthday,
you dumbasses.
4
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,973
Well, actually,
the dumbasses are here
5
00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:16,725
to wish you well
at your deposition.
6
00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:18,810
Yeah, we know you're dreading
being grilled
7
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:19,978
about Roseanne's death
8
00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:21,980
by some Big Pharma legal snake.
9
00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:24,567
I want you to take this.
This is my lucky bullet.
10
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,527
That's in case you get mad
11
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,612
and you can run over
and shove it into somebody.
12
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:32,407
No, no.
This bullet was in my gun
13
00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:34,534
when I was a cop,
staring down a suspect
14
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,579
who was holding a hostage
at knifepoint,
15
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,706
and I thought,
"If I ever shoot this bullet,
16
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,250
I might hit the hostage."
17
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:44,210
The suspect surrendered
and I never had to shoot.
18
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:48,340
So now, this bullet represents
bad things that don't happen.
19
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:51,802
- Thank you.
I appreciate your support.
- Mm-hmm.
20
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,929
I am a little afraid that when
those guys start pushing me,
21
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,264
- I'm gonna lose my cool.
- Aw.
22
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,390
- You got this.
- Looking good.
23
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,641
It'll be good. It'll be good.
24
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,311
Uh-oh.
25
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:03,147
Uh-oh. Yeah.
26
00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:08,109
Well, the synapse bridges
have finally collapsed,
27
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,111
and now she's just
on random activity.
28
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,615
No, no, no, no. Police physical.
29
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,742
Short blasts for heart rate.
30
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,744
You know,
if you don't get on the force,
31
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,206
maybe the insane asylum
has a track team.
32
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,377
Sorry Ben wasn't here, guys.
33
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,254
When he gets involved
in a project,
34
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,217
he loses track of time, space
and things he made vows to.
35
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,928
Yeah, I saw how obsessed he was
36
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,222
during the two hours
I worked for him.
37
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,140
Was he like that when you two
ran the mug shot magazine?
38
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,684
Yeah, I guess.
39
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,938
Who are you again,
and why are you asking me
personal questions?
40
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,023
Ben really should've been here.
41
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,860
Even the guy that Harris
sexually harassed showed up.
42
00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:53,280
Oh, that's who you are.
43
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:57,326
Hey. He's not my victim.
He's my boyfriend.
44
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,391
The Conners is filmed
45
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:22,725
in front of
a live studio audience.
46
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,230
What are you doing?
47
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,732
{\an8}Well, one of the tests
is clearing obstacles
48
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,900
{\an8}during a foot pursuit.
49
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,652
{\an8}Oh. Well, I I can spot you.
50
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,196
{\an8}Okay, good, because I
I've got the angle
51
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,573
{\an8}and the speed of approach, okay?
52
00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:37,950
{\an8}- So, all right, here I come.
- Okay.
53
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,414
{\an8}You know what?
It would really help
if it felt more realistic.
54
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:47,250
{\an8}So go get the TV
55
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,335
and pretend like you're
running away with it.
56
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:53,298
{\an8}Oh, I can pretend I have the TV.
I I did improv in college.
57
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:54,675
{\an8}Okay.
58
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,262
{\an8}Ha ha. I'm getting away.
59
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,680
{\an8}Nobody can catch me,
60
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,182
not even against
this strong wind.
61
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,935
{\an8}Stop! Police!
62
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,729
{\an8}I can't do it.
63
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:09,606
{\an8}I can't
I'm gonna look like an idiot
64
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,649
in front of
all those cops again.
65
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,611
{\an8}No. Come on.
66
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,530
{\an8}You can do this.
67
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,365
You just need that rush
of adrenaline in the moment.
68
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,576
{\an8}They always talk about
those mothers
69
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,202
{\an8}who get superhuman strength
70
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,330
and they can lift cars
off their babies,
71
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,957
{\an8}but they never tell you about
the ones who get it halfway up
72
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,084
and drop it.
73
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:31,920
I can't do it.
74
00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:33,213
Sure you can.
75
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,467
Oh, no. This TV fell on a baby.
76
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,760
If only someone was here
who could help.
77
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,309
You are right in here.
78
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,271
- Hi, Dan.
- Hi.
79
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,523
I am representing you today.
My name is Erica.
80
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,858
Uh, where's Jean?
81
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,068
{\an8}Her car wouldn't start.
82
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,611
{\an8}It's one of those new models,
83
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,323
the you-gotta-blow-under-.08
SUV.
84
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,532
{\an8}Oh, my God.
85
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,076
{\an8}Let me assure you,
86
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,869
{\an8}I reviewed the case
and I'm totally prepared.
87
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:08,081
{\an8}You have the option to postpone,
if you'd like, Mr. Conner.
88
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,249
{\an8}Oh, no, sir.
Let's do this today.
89
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,878
Tomorrow, I'll drop by
for a purely social visit.
90
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:15,964
Remember,
they're trying to trap you
91
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:18,466
into saying Roseanne's death
was her own fault.
92
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:21,761
Okay, stay calm.
Take a beat before you answer.
93
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,555
Uh,
94
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,015
I had five cups of coffee
and an energy drink
95
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,017
to keep me focused
before I came over here,
96
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,520
so if I clutch my chest
and fall on the floor,
97
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,272
that's not a response
to the question.
98
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:37,069
Just a few more questions.
99
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,070
It's been seven years.
100
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,697
I'm sure your recollection
is somewhat blurry.
101
00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:41,991
No, sir.
102
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,367
It's easy to remember
someone killing your wife.
103
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,077
Yeah, it's a tragedy.
104
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,204
Is it true that Roseanne
had an addictive personality?
105
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,497
No, it's not.
106
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,749
So, no history of overeating?
107
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,918
No, sir. She ate
the exact right amount
108
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:54,920
to maintain her weight.
109
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,464
I understand that she took drugs
110
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,049
that were not prescribed
by her doctor.
111
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,176
Is that true?
112
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,973
Yes, she did.
Her prescription ran out.
113
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:10,059
And by that time,
she needed more
just to keep working,
114
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,728
so she got some
from her friends, and--
115
00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:14,230
So you knew
that she was taking drugs
116
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,982
that were not prescribed
by her doctor
117
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,567
before she overdosed.
118
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,110
Yeah.
119
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:20,571
Yeah, and when I found out,
I flushed 'em.
120
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,197
Did you ever
search the house after that?
121
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,700
No, sir. She told me those
were all the pills,
122
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:26,827
and I believed her.
123
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,704
You claim to be destroyed
by the loss of your wife.
124
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,414
How come you didn't try harder
125
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,375
to keep her from abusing pills
that could kill her?
126
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,752
Sir, I did everything I could.
127
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:38,171
Or maybe you just don't want
to take responsibility
128
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,672
for what happened.
129
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,090
If you're saying
what I think you're saying,
130
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,425
it might be
the last thing you say,
131
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,551
you son of a bitch.
132
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,428
I told her she could overdose.
133
00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:46,888
So,
134
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,139
Roseanne knew
she was doing something
135
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,265
that was potentially deadly
136
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,142
and she did it anyway.
137
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:53,561
Well, that clearly
is not the company's fault.
138
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:56,147
Yes, it was.
It was the fault of the company.
139
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:59,025
She kept taking those pills
because you didn't tell her
140
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,651
that they would change
how her brain worked
141
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,154
and turn her into an addict.
142
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,281
You don't care how many families
you've destroyed.
143
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,116
The only thing
you care about is money.
144
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,868
And I hope everybody
that walks through that door
145
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,536
soaks you
for everything you've got.
146
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,581
But even if I took
every penny you had,
147
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:14,916
it wouldn't be enough,
148
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,626
because you took
the love of my life
149
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,086
and you killed her.
150
00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:19,670
The same as you put
a gun to her head.
151
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,964
The only difference is you
handed her the gun
152
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,759
and told her it wasn't loaded!
153
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,846
That will be
"standing defiantly."
154
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,311
How'd your, uh
How'd your dad's deposition go?
155
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:37,355
Uh, Louise said
it was pretty rough.
156
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,815
This whole week has sucked.
157
00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,399
Ah. And with Mark gone,
158
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,361
the house must feel
pretty empty right now.
159
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,363
Thanks, sunshine.
160
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:49,368
Oh, look who's here,
Down and Downer.
161
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:52,496
Is she having an affair?
162
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,622
Uh, I don't know, honey,
163
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:57,000
but some men
like to punish themselves.
164
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,004
How about we go
get tacos for dinner?
165
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,757
Why don't we just
order some here?
166
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,759
Uh, because this food
is awful.
167
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,885
And we've never actually
seen each other
168
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,013
outside these four walls
and dim lighting.
169
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,598
I mean, you might be
a teenage boy
170
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,810
I've been unwittingly plying
with booze.
171
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,855
Right back at ya.
172
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:22,775
Uh, but doing it someplace else
would be kind of weird.
173
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,318
I don't know,
might be kind of fun.
174
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,655
You know, like a date.
175
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,157
A date?
176
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,741
Why would we go
on a date?
177
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,535
Because we enjoy
each other's company
178
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,913
and our marriages
are blowing up.
179
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,124
You're miserable.
180
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:38,916
That doesn't mean anything.
181
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,544
For me, miserable
is just a Tuesday.
182
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,589
Did you ever tell
your husband about me?
183
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:47,091
No. I mean, why would I?
You're a friend.
184
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,384
Have you ever had another friend
185
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,553
you didn't
tell your husband about?
186
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,306
I did not tell him about
the dry cleaner.
187
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,808
He gives me 10% off.
188
00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:58,770
Darlene
189
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,856
Look, I'm sorry. I
190
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:04,483
I let this become something
it shouldn't have.
191
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,819
We have to stop hanging out.
192
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,197
Good, because
I think we're getting too close
193
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,033
and I'm not comfortable
with it anymore.
194
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,701
Yeah, I'm I'm going.
195
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,995
No, I think you should go.
196
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:20,918
Okay.
197
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,919
They just talked.
198
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,172
There's nothing going on
unless he follows her out.
199
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,925
And there he goes.
200
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,343
This is horrible.
201
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,012
I have to stop this.
202
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:33,846
I already tried.
203
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,514
I'll go talk to Ben.
204
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,225
I think there's still time
for them to fix this.
205
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,353
I I hope so.
206
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,563
I really like Ben.
I don't wanna lose him
in this family.
207
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,442
Maybe there's a way
that he can stay
and she can leave.
208
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,530
I declare war.
209
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,283
If you don't start laying
some cards down,
210
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,743
this is gonna be a bloodbath.
211
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:58,996
I'm sorry. Jean promised
212
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,623
she'd watch
the deposition for me
213
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,959
- and let me know
if I screwed up.
- Well
214
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,504
Holy cow.
215
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,090
The drug company lawyer
called Jean.
216
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,758
They're cutting me a check.
217
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,970
Oh, my God.
Dan, you did it.
218
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,471
They're dropping it
over tomorrow.
219
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,474
What's this feeling I'm having?
220
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,309
Whatever it is,
I don't want
to drown it in beer.
221
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,978
It's joy.
222
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:24,563
Yeah, we gotta celebrate. Joy.
223
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,649
We're gonna toast
with the stuff I bought
224
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,901
just in case
The Conners ever got a win.
225
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,444
Uh Yeah.
226
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,073
Is '82 a good year
for Champell?
227
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,366
Was there a bad year?
228
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,996
Dan, I am so proud of you.
229
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,580
You know,
Rose is the reason for all this.
230
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,418
I wanna call the kids
and we can meet up
at the cemetery,
231
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,503
and open the check together.
232
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,213
Yeah.
233
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,717
I I'm gonna stay here.
It's really a family thing.
234
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,052
Hey, you know you're
part of the family.
235
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,393
I know all this talk about her
has been rough on you.
236
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,396
Yes, it has been.
237
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,775
But I got past it,
um, until today.
238
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:11,527
Maybe I shouldn't say this,
239
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:15,324
but when you said
she was the love of your life,
240
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:18,577
it kind of made me wonder
what that made me.
241
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,579
I did say that.
242
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,955
And I'm admitting it
243
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,540
because I'll never
lie to you
244
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,917
and it's on video.
245
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,671
She was the love
of that part of my life,
246
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,382
but when I met you,
my life started all over again.
247
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:38,220
Hmm. But hearing all the stories
of you two, it just
248
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,805
You had 40 years together.
249
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,390
It kind of made me feel like
250
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,477
what we'll have
pales in comparison.
251
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,937
Not to me, it doesn't.
252
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,481
How many times have I told you
253
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:51,234
Godfather II is infinitely
better than The Godfather?
254
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,402
Oh.
255
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,154
And there's a million
incredible things
256
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,325
that we're gonna do
that I never did with her.
257
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,452
Like?
258
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:01,995
Like
259
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,206
You're gonna be around
to see me die.
260
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,249
She would've killed for that.
261
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,298
Hey.
262
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,091
We need to talk.
263
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,301
Just for a second though.
264
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,511
I'll go take a quick shower,
265
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,096
and then surprise Darlene
at the Lobo for a drink
266
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:22,014
before I gotta get back to work.
267
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,100
Oh, so, tonight's the night
you finally come
out of your coma
268
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,726
and remember you have a wife?
269
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,355
I detected
a wee bit of judgment in that.
270
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,108
You completely abandoned
your marriage.
271
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,069
That's why Darlene is out
with her boyfriend,
Chad, right now.
272
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:39,073
What the hell
are you talking about?
273
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,866
She's been having drinks
with the same guy
274
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,368
every night for the past month.
275
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,579
There is no way
she would do that to me.
276
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,914
Wouldn't she?
277
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,292
You didn't text,
you didn't call.
278
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:53,546
My sister leans towards men
for attention,
279
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:56,967
and if you let her lean too far,
she lays down under 'em.
280
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,719
Unbelievable.
281
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,931
She's not there.
I saw her leave with Chad.
282
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,391
Hello? Anybody home?
283
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,310
Holy hell,
she brought him back here.
284
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,938
Oh, you're here.
Well, this is perfect.
285
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,734
Nope, he's not here. My bad.
Going to bed. Night.
286
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,200
Sit down. We need to talk.
287
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,952
I know about Chad.
288
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,121
Oh, that saves time.
289
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,125
What's going on, Darlene?
290
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,334
Nothing is going on.
291
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,794
I needed a friend to talk to
292
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,713
and he took it
for something more.
293
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,675
What did you do
to make him think
it was something more?
294
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,343
I wore my tightest baggy pants
295
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:45,014
and my garage-sale T-shirt
that says "It's wine o'clock."
296
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,308
That's on me.
297
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,934
We just needed to talk
298
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,605
because both of our partners
have abandoned us.
299
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,024
You didn't sleep with him?
300
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,942
God, no.
I'm not sleeping with anybody,
301
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,445
not him, not you.
302
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,696
I mean, I guess you can
accuse me of sleeping
303
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,491
with Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo.
304
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,703
I didn't abandon you.
I was working.
305
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,206
Okay, you completely dropped
out of my life.
306
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,791
And you know what really hurt?
Is that it didn't seem
to bother you at all.
307
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,502
Of course it did.
308
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,086
Give me a break.
309
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,630
You know what?
If Becky hadn't talked to you,
310
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,591
you'd be at work,
I'd be sitting here alone again.
311
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:21,760
You're not wrong.
312
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,679
And I should've told you
that I missed you.
313
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:26,890
Yeah, you should have.
314
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,975
Stupid.
315
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,813
Well, I lost sight
of what's important,
316
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,107
so I'm sorry.
317
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,527
I was a lousy partner.
318
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,946
I'm sorry too.
319
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,281
I shouldn't have been
hanging out with that guy.
320
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:47,201
And
you're a good partner.
321
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:48,744
I mean, compared to
my previous husband,
322
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,080
you're Barack Obama.
323
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,042
If I died tomorrow
324
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,128
would you text this guy?
325
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,465
Why would I text somebody
I'm laying next to in bed?
326
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,430
Dad, it feels like
a storm is coming.
327
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,807
Can't we just open
the envelope?
328
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,809
No, we have to wait
for everyone.
329
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,060
This is too big a moment.
330
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,564
Well, guess what.
331
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,400
Whoa!
332
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,280
When the adrenaline kicked in,
all the self-doubt left my body
333
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,033
and I made
that obstacle course my bitch.
334
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,204
That's great.
You're back on the force,
335
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,289
with a deadly weapon.
336
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,665
Yeah.
337
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,125
Yeah.
338
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,836
Well, this is a great day
for the family.
339
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,672
Sometimes people like us think,
"You don't get a silver lining,"
340
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:44,133
but if you keep on pushing,
sometimes you do.
341
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,259
Uh
342
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,595
Hey, can I say something too?
343
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,639
Um, Neville and I
had a really crappy homelife.
344
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,393
So it took me a while to
to understand why you guys
345
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,563
always wanted to be
with each other.
346
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,231
But now I know.
347
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,649
It's because, obviously,
348
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:05,446
Roseanne did something right
for her kids and her husband.
349
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,865
Aw. That was beautiful, Louise.
350
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,325
Yes. Sweet.
Now pull out the check
351
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,285
and make it rain, big daddy.
352
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:12,370
Whoo.
353
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,956
This is from the lawyer
for the drug company.
354
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,167
"Dear Mr. Conner,
355
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,003
yesterday the eloquence
with which you expressed
356
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,548
the pain of your loss
357
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:26,551
moved us in a way
we didn't expect.
358
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:30,971
But precedent has shown
that any jury would agree
359
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,182
that Mrs. Conner
knew the dangers,
360
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:35,476
yet continued
to put her life at risk.
361
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,270
The enclosed check
admits no liability,
362
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,022
but is offered as a tribute
363
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:43,525
to your unwavering commitment
to your beloved wife."
364
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,903
How much do they give you?
365
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,489
$700.
366
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,699
The memo says,
367
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,412
"For transportation
and miscellaneous."
368
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,416
Well, we always wondered
how much a Conner's
life is worth, now we know.
369
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,422
$700.
370
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:19,396
Oh.
This is so on-brand.
371
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,816
Hey! Screw this!
372
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,235
Let's put this money
to good use.
373
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,152
I'll order some food
to the house.
374
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,446
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
375
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,785
Hey, Mom.
376
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,663
I'm still sober.
377
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,832
Can you believe it?
378
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,876
And my psychology degree
is really paying off.
379
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,880
I got an incredible job.
380
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,800
Oh!
And I met a great guy.
381
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,177
A little needy
382
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:53,888
but great.
383
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:02,772
Hi.
384
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,650
I tried to do what I thought
you would do for the family.
385
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,488
It's not fair that you were here
for the hard part,
386
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,200
and you didn't get to see
that things turned out okay.
387
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,078
I mean okay for us,
not for regular people.
388
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,957
Mark and Harris are doing great.
389
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:24,293
And I-I found a guy too,
and he's just like Dad.
390
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,920
That's Ben.
391
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,381
Hello.
392
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,097
Hey, Grandma!
393
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,975
Oh, I own your restaurant now.
394
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,186
The food is finally good.
395
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,694
Huh? Right?
396
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,947
I'm really happy now.
397
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,200
I know you didn't think that
that was possible,
but I figured it out.
398
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,910
Oh, and by the way,
I have no idea
399
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,078
where our mother is.
400
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,332
I miss you.
401
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,293
It's a little bit chilly.
I'm gonna meet you in the car.
402
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,378
- Okay, honey.
- Okay.
403
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,967
Well, Rose, we always said,
404
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,636
"If the kids were still alive
at the end of the day,
405
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:16,971
we did our job."
406
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,557
I think we did better than that.
407
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,353
Makes me realize we did
the right thing
by not selling 'em.
408
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,401
I still can't believe
you're not here.
409
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:34,404
I I know you wanted
good things for me too,
410
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,157
and that probably didn't
include Louise.
411
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:40,161
But if you meet anybody
wherever you are
412
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:43,748
I'm cool with it.
413
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,381
Don't hit her with lightning.
414
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,010
Please.
415
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,182
Hey, how you doing?
416
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,059
Oh, honey. I'm doing great.
417
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,520
I guess it would've been nice
for that check to be so big
418
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,189
it brought down
the damn company.
419
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,607
Very nice.
420
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,318
It was never about the money.
421
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,195
Well yeah.
422
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,364
You know,
going through all this
423
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:21,035
reminds me that no matter
how much crap life throws at us,
424
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,496
all we gotta do is look around.
425
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,791
'Cause if we hang together,
nothing can stop us.
426
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,126
- Mmm.
- Amen, brother.
427
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,294
- Hey!
- Amen.
428
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:31,379
Salute.
429
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,675
Well Riley and I
are gonna head out.
430
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,260
- Us too.
- Yeah.
431
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,637
I can't resist a woman
in uniform any longer.
432
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,977
Uh Just make sure you have
the keys to the handcuffs.
433
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,396
Learned that the hard way.
434
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,692
Um, I guess we're gonna go too.
435
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:55,486
Us too.
436
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,655
Uh, well
437
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,992
good night.
438
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,621
Good night.
439
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:11,085
Good night.
440
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:17,925
What is your problem?
441
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,968
You're my problem,
you little slob!
442
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,511
You used to be almost normal!
443
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:22,930
Yeah, until you were born!
444
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,933
Oh! No, no, no!
445
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,936
But don't you wanna
save something like this
for when you get married?
446
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,188
Oh.
447
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,859
Oh! Touchdown! Yeah!
448
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:42,742
Good night.
449
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,340
I love you.
450
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,010
I love you too, Daddy.
451
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:05,347
{\an8}How could you do something
that's stupid and immature
452
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:06,390
{\an8}for me.
453
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,728
{\an8}I'll miss you.
454
00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:12,939
{\an8}Will you call?
455
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,732
{\an8} Promise.
456
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:17,360
{\an8}I love you, Becky.
457
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,738
{\an8} I love, Darlene.
458
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,367
{\an8}Did you ever know
that you're my hero?