1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,129
[bluesy harmonica music]
2
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,464
[shivers]
3
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:08,467
Oh, you figure out why
your truck won't start?
4
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:12,888
The gas gauge is frozen on
full, but the tank is empty.
5
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,806
Why gas?
6
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,225
Why couldn't it have been
something less expensive,
7
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,685
like a new engine?
8
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,895
It's bad, guys.
9
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,897
It's bad.
10
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,774
I just got off the phone with
my mom's credit card company.
11
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They know she didn't
make the charges.
12
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,028
Well,
they don't know it's us, right?
13
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No, not yet,
but they're digging.
14
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,531
I tried to throw them
off the scent by telling them
15
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she's got dementia,
but they talked to her.
16
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And they said, to them,
she didn't sound so-- so bad.
17
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,454
She sounded fine.
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Fine.
19
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:44,586
The woman thinks you're
Davy Jones from The Monkees.
20
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If they find out,
what's the worst
21
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,839
that could happen to you guys?
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It's a felony punishable by
up to three years in prison.
23
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,386
Huh.
24
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,304
Three years of somebody
making all my meals and nobody
25
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,056
wanting anything from me?
26
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Can I think about it?
27
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:03,605
Well, it's too late
to return my big-screen TV
28
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:07,401
that becomes a French painting
when you turn it off.
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She already has
a tracking number.
30
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[sniffles]
31
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My little XV435/22-Uh.
32
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None of us want to return
anything because we all know
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that once Bev
is playing the harp--
34
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:22,082
and that is a very
generous prediction--
35
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,002
that the card company
will just eat the loss.
36
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:28,380
The dead don't pay no interest.
37
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But the living can go to jail.
38
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All right, well, there's
only one thing to do.
39
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,720
Dad, you have to
go over to Grandma Bev's
40
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,971
with Aunt Jackie.
41
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:38,974
Why is it always me?
42
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,851
Because she likes you now.
43
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,686
You're the only one
that can gaslight her
44
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,813
and make her believe
that she bought all that stuff.
45
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Ahh!
46
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,408
Gaslighting
an old woman is so cold.
47
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,076
Can I get it on that?
48
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,202
Darlene's right, Dan.
49
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,454
You have to help me.
50
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,957
You guys suck
for making me do this.
51
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,876
I just hope
she's having a foggy day
52
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,879
so I can convince her that it
was her that made the charges.
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00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:12,257
I'm going to hell
for even saying that.
54
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,425
Well, if you can't
convince her maybe
55
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:16,553
she'll listen to Davy Jones.
56
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,138
Why she doesn't think
you're Peter Tork
57
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,973
I don't understand.
58
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,019
Aren't you going
to be late for work?
59
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:27,147
I told you, I try to go
in late on All-Meat Mondays,
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having that weirdo Howard carve
it all up before I get there.
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He brings his own knives,
which bothers me,
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00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,907
'cause he's not a chef, so--
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00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,201
But on the upside, when they
find the bodies in his trunk,
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00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,786
you get to be
in the documentary.
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The whole thing
is just gross.
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00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,415
I hate these days.
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00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,459
You know what might
make you feel better?
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00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,960
Nothing.
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00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:53,632
You're a cynical, negative,
glass-half-empty crank.
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00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,967
Hey,
when you become a therapist,
71
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,511
charge less than the others.
72
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,518
Hey, where are you going
with my frying pan?
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00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,478
Oh, it's still warm
from heating up my glove,
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00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,147
so I'm going to use it to
thaw out Becky's gas gauge.
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00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,983
Then I'm going to sit on it on
my way to the hardware store.
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You can keep that
as my parting gift to you.
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00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,241
[screams]
78
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,952
Are you OK?
What happened?
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There was a rat in your sink
80
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What?
81
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,623
No, no, no!
82
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,417
You know what?
83
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,127
The neighbors are doing
a bunch of construction,
84
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,962
and they probably
disturbed a rat mound.
85
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,547
Well,
what are you going to do?
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00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,340
Because they can have up to
12 babies every three weeks.
87
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,842
I mean,
that's what-- what is that?
88
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:39,719
Like, 750,000 a year?
89
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,722
Yeah, something like that.
90
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,182
Uh, OK, you know what?
91
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,767
I'm going to catch it
when I get home from work.
92
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,311
- Oh, my God.
- Listen, do not tell Ben.
93
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,063
He's going to want
to kill it, OK?
94
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,815
- Oh, God, oh.
- All right.
95
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,775
The only thing
that dies in this house
96
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are our hopes and dreams.
97
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:58,029
[bluesy rock music]
98
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:05,162
♪ ♪
99
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,633
"The Conners" is filmed...
[knock at door]
100
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,302
In front
of a live studio audience.
101
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,678
Beverly, look who's here.
102
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,221
It's Jackie
and your son-in-law.
103
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,973
And they have flowers.
104
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,892
Hey, Mom, how you doing?
105
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,852
If you're having a bad day,
we can go over a few things,
106
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,979
record the conversation
on Dan's phone,
107
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,023
get out of your hair
lickety-split.
108
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,733
No.
Come in, Jackie.
109
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,902
I'm having a very good day.
110
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,612
Then we'll work with that.
111
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Guess what September 14th is.
112
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,117
That is my birthday.
113
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,411
Or, as you like to remind me,
the first of many days
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00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,538
I caused you pain.
115
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,500
Yes, it is your birthday,
and I remembered it.
116
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,711
It just popped into
my noggin just like that.
117
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,963
And I've been having
so much trouble with dates.
118
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,465
Isn't this amazing?
119
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,717
Yes, it is.
120
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,886
Sometimes certain things stick.
121
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,471
Sometimes they don't.
122
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,639
Like finances.
123
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,599
They come, and they go.
124
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,895
So you seem like you're
in a really good mood.
125
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,104
You have a lot of energy.
126
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:15,315
Did my mom have
a Gilligan cure,
127
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,983
or, like,
she got hit in the head
128
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,486
with a coconut or something?
129
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,779
Is it OK to tell them?
130
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:21,988
You might as well.
131
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,949
They seem so shocked
that I remembered
132
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,659
my daughter's birthday.
133
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,285
Your mother
was offered to take part
134
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,120
in an experimental drug trial.
135
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,998
It's been two months now, and
it really seems to be slowing
136
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,500
down the cognitive decline.
137
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,876
Oh, my gosh.
138
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,753
Mom, why didn't you tell us?
139
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,840
There are a lot of scary
side effects in the waiver,
140
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,300
and I was worried
you'd try to stop me.
141
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,761
Oh, I don't think she'd
be worried about scary side
142
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,472
effects for you, Bev.
143
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,015
She's happier.
144
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,433
She's eating better,
and there are way
145
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,102
more good days than bad days.
146
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,354
Did the doctor say
if this was permanent?
147
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,689
They don't know for sure.
148
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,441
It might last forever,
or it could go away
149
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,735
in a day, a week, or a month.
150
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:04,573
And it couldn't have
happened at a better time.
151
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:08,451
I just found out that someone
has been using my credit card.
152
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:12,539
What kind of morally
bankrupt lowlife
153
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,584
would take advantage of
an old woman with dementia?
154
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:20,672
Well, there's two sides
to every story.
155
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,800
And people could have
a lapse of judgment
156
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,343
in a moment of desperation.
157
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,221
Like it says in the Bible,
judge he
158
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:34,144
not those who we knoweth
not of their desperation,
159
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,939
for they may be scared
and about to bolt.
160
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:43,653
I believe that's the
book of-- of Roger 6:13.
161
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:49,951
So like I said,
just stopped by to say hi,
162
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,786
which we'll probably do
every morning
163
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,372
to check in on you,
see if you're confused.
164
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,666
Because if you are,
we want to jump on that.
165
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,418
You know, to be here for you.
166
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,754
You're not getting away
that easy, young lady.
167
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,589
We have to talk.
168
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,759
I'd stay, but this sounds
like it's going to be awful.
169
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,221
I guess I have this coming.
170
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,057
You certainly do.
171
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:15,101
You know, when a person
gets to a certain age,
172
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:18,021
they look back on their
life, and they take inventory
173
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,356
of what they've done wrong.
174
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,316
Well, you're about
30 years too late,
175
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,569
but I'm enjoying the hug,
so keep going.
176
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,947
I so regret how poorly
I've treated you.
177
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,741
I want to make
everything right.
178
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,242
You do?
179
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,119
Tomorrow,
I want us to go out and have
180
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,289
a fantastic day in Chicago.
181
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:39,376
We'll go to the Art Institute
and the Historical Society.
182
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,795
They have the first
piece of Wrigley's gum.
183
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,254
Can you imagine it?
184
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,590
And we'll go to the
Grand Hall and Union Station.
185
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,593
It'll be just like
when you were a child.
186
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,845
But you never took me
anywhere when I was a child.
187
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,847
You said it reflected
badly on you.
188
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,850
[laughs]
189
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,728
What a monster I was.
190
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,814
Then this will be
the mother-daughter day
191
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,232
we never had.
192
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,859
Oh, are you really
saying that that's
193
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:05,944
what you want to do?
194
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,862
You-- you want
to be with me,
195
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,322
even though you're not sure
196
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,866
how many good days
you have left?
197
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,576
More than anything
else in the world.
198
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,120
All right.
199
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,247
Well,
then that's what we'll do.
200
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:21,918
We will-- we'll talk
and love and forgive.
201
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,754
Lots of forgiveness.
202
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:29,092
Lots of wonderful,
unconditional,
203
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,010
unretractable,
204
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,723
legally binding forgiveness.
205
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,017
♪ ♪
206
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,270
- Hey.
- Hey.
207
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,771
How was your day?
208
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,691
Those plungers finally
come to the store?
209
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,651
I know they were stuck
in Minnesota for a while.
210
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,777
Yes.
211
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,446
They came, thank God.
212
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,489
You know,
St. Patty's Day coming up.
213
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,657
Corned beef and cabbage.
214
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,992
You do the math.
215
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,077
Oh.
216
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,163
Hey, did you see this?
217
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,623
All the corners chewed off?
218
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,709
I think we have a rat.
219
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,835
What?
220
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,837
Wait, let me see that.
221
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,131
Oh.
222
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,175
Uh-huh.
No, it's not a rat.
223
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,802
These are
Beverly Rose's bite marks.
224
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,306
She's uh-- she's pretending
to be a dog again.
225
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,891
And it looks like
Becky changed her food,
226
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,101
and she got stressed out.
227
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,854
All right, well,
just to be safe,
228
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,606
I'm going to run to my store,
grab some rat traps.
229
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,857
We've got rats?
230
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:26,900
Oh.
231
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,693
No, don't overreact.
232
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,822
We maybe have one rat, or,
like, 750,000, if you trust
233
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,283
Jackie's math.
234
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,745
Look, just get the kind
of traps that don't kill.
235
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,167
You do know that it's
only in Disney movies
236
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,919
that they help you get
dressed for the ball.
237
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,548
Darlene, there is
a long-standing arrangement
238
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,759
between rats and humans.
239
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,428
We gave them New York City,
and in the rest of the country,
240
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,930
they're fair game.
241
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,516
Hey, hey, hey,
I am not playing around.
242
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,892
Use a humane trap.
243
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,143
Really?
244
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,855
Being a vegan
includes rats now?
245
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,565
Oh-- OK, OK.
246
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,901
Yes, I will try a humane trap.
247
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,110
Thank you.
248
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,029
[gasps]
Oh, no.
249
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,074
Beverly Rose ate some raisins
off of the kitchen floor
250
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,033
this morning.
251
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,204
You don't think--
252
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,456
No, no.
253
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,582
No.
254
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,084
OK?
255
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,001
I was eating
some raisins this morning.
256
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,002
I dropped a few.
257
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,171
Oh.
Thank God.
258
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,140
- First time in Chicago?
- Huh?
259
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,182
Oh, no.
260
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,517
God, no.
261
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,644
No, my mom lost her mind,
but she's better now.
262
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,189
So we're reliving
the childhood that I never had.
263
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,482
So Union Station
is our last stop.
264
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,859
You?
265
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,443
Oh, my wife
loves the old-world
266
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,154
glamour of train travel,
and she's taking a leak.
267
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,282
Yeah.
No, my mom loves trains, too.
268
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,534
She's been looking
forward to this all day.
269
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,452
You know, it's funny when
she wasn't all there,
270
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,998
I never thought that I
would get closure on all
271
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,667
the crap she left me holding.
272
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,796
You know, feeling insecure,
not good enough, unloved.
273
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,340
And then today
at the Hancock building, I--
274
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,466
I yelled at her.
275
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,593
She cried.
She yelled at me.
276
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,303
I cried.
277
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,804
Then the Swedish tour group
in the elevator with us,
278
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:20,805
they cried.
279
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,640
Those people never cry.
280
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:27,020
So I-- I just feel like
I've had 60 years of poison
281
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,730
drain out of my body.
282
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,190
I've never felt this good.
283
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,194
So happy for you, person
I don't know or care about.
284
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,236
I'm ready.
285
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,487
Let's go.
286
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,157
Oh, excuse me,
but the older woman in there
287
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,450
with the little crocheted hat,
288
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,118
does she seemed ready
to come out?
289
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,202
There's no one else in there.
290
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,287
Oh.
291
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,538
Maybe in one of the stalls.
292
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,165
They're all open.
There's no one in there.
293
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,833
OK.
294
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:49,959
'Cause I saw her.
295
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,838
Mom!
296
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,466
[bluesy harmonica music]
297
00:11:58,801 --> 00:11:59,594
[bluesy harmonica music]
298
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:00,845
Oh.
299
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,263
Anything in the traps?
300
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,141
Nope, but the cheese
keeps disappearing.
301
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,602
You ate the cheese,
didn't you?
302
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,188
I don't know why you'd
waste something as delicious
303
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,023
as pepper jack
on catching a rat.
304
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,611
Hey, what you
doing home so early?
305
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,613
You know Howard
the knife guy?
306
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,406
He's a person
of interest in something,
307
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,825
and they shut
the cafeteria down.
308
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,208
Why is there a kill trap
on the counter?
309
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,627
Because the humane
ones don't work.
310
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,170
The rats are too smart.
311
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,883
Dad, I can't believe
you're actually
312
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,802
over here helping him.
313
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,012
You've known how I felt about
this since I was a teenager.
314
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,973
Do you remember when I made
you catch that field mouse
315
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,599
and take it out to the country?
316
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,352
Did you not notice it only
took me 10 minutes to get out
317
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,104
to the country and come back?
318
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,651
Look, sometimes we have
to make a choice, OK?
319
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,611
We can't always humor
your feelings about animals
320
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,862
in these situations.
321
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,948
Humor my feelings?
Are you kidding me?
322
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:02,991
Oh, I know where
this is going.
323
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,575
Bye.
324
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,329
Come on, Darlene.
325
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,915
Beverly Rose is so terrified
she won't come out of her room.
326
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,793
You haven't even tried
to use a humane trap.
327
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,712
Why are your
feelings so much more
328
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:16,796
important than mine in this?
329
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,922
Fine.
330
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,507
OK, we'll do it your way.
331
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,093
We'll let him grow up,
send him to college,
332
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,096
and as soon as he goes to
Myrtle Beach for spring break,
333
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,306
we'll change the locks.
334
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,641
Don't make fun of me.
335
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,935
You know what?
You're being a jerk.
336
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,520
You really want
to drive the rat out?
337
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,730
Marry it.
338
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,070
[bluesy harmonica music]
339
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,239
♪ ♪
340
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:46,367
Oh, my God.
Thank you very much.
341
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,785
God, I've been looking
everywhere for you.
342
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,245
What are you doing?
343
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,371
Don't get excited.
344
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,873
I'm just getting on the train.
345
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,541
I was going to text you.
346
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,418
[scoffs] You can't let
this woman on the train.
347
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,919
She has dementia.
348
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,796
I'm fine.
Ask me anything.
349
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,591
The president of the United
States is that kid Joe Biden.
350
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,302
The vice president
is Kamala Harris.
351
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,429
This is my lovely daughter,
Jackie Harris.
352
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,306
No relation.
353
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:11,267
That doesn't prove anything.
354
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,561
Name one senator
from our state.
355
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,772
You name one senator.
356
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:21,444
I'm not the one trying
to get on a train.
357
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:24,113
Look, I'm no doctor,
but she seems OK to me.
358
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,531
Mom, what are you doing?
359
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,575
Mom, this is a train.
360
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,118
It's going to take you away.
361
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,369
Do you even know
where it's going?
362
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,621
It's going east.
363
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,247
I haven't decided
where to get off yet.
364
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,957
Isn't that wonderful?
365
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,668
But we had
an amazing day together.
366
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,128
What, did I do something wrong?
367
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,213
No, dear.
368
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,631
Of course not.
369
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,424
You've never done
anything wrong
370
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:47,595
but try to please
an unreasonable old woman.
371
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,723
Today was the best
day we've ever had.
372
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,767
Well, then why would
you want to leave, huh?
373
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,102
What about your clothes?
374
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,728
And what about your medication?
375
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,271
It's all right here
in my tote bag.
376
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,898
I've got a lot of Lululemon.
377
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,318
It rolls up very small.
378
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,654
Wait,
so you were planning this?
379
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:08,407
So was this day
all just to get me to drive
380
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,034
you to the train station?
381
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,369
No, dear.
382
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,870
I could have taken a cab,
but I wanted
383
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,540
to have this day with you.
384
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,960
I wanted your face to be
the last one I saw before I
385
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,711
went on my grand adventure.
386
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,173
Please don't do this.
387
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,508
I have to.
388
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,093
I'm not going to sit
around my apartment
389
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,387
until I don't know where I am.
390
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,930
I want to die living.
391
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,598
But it isn't fair.
392
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,851
We finally have a day
where I want you to stay,
393
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,269
but now you're leaving me?
394
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,313
That's why
I gave you this day.
395
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,023
If I knew for sure
I could remember
396
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:44,735
to love you every day,
I would never leave you.
397
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,154
Give my nurse a good tip.
398
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,030
I have a reputation.
399
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,615
Mom.
400
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,409
All aboard!
401
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,244
And don't worry
about the credit card.
402
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,746
I called and said
there were my charges.
403
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,708
I hope you and the family
enjoy everything you scammed
404
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,501
from the credit card people.
405
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,170
I know that I am.
406
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:06,549
You know, I could grab you
right now and keep you here.
407
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,009
But you won't.
408
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,803
Now wave goodbye.
409
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,352
Don't get murdered.
410
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:26,068
[bluesy harmonica music]
411
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,031
[bluesy harmonica music]
412
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,200
There you are.
413
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,994
God, I've been looking
all over town for you.
414
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,746
Even went to Costco
to see if you were trying
415
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,081
flannels on
in the boys' section.
416
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,502
I was worried.
417
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,713
You know, I didn't mean
to make you that upset.
418
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,506
Well, I didn't
think you noticed.
419
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,885
Look, I know how much
you care about animals.
420
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,346
Probably more than
you care about me.
421
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,603
That's-- that's where you
jump in and say no, but OK.
422
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,397
And I tried to catch
the rat in a humane way,
423
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,816
but it just wasn't
going to happen.
424
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,401
No, you're not getting it.
425
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,487
This isn't just about the rat.
426
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,614
You're not really
listening to me.
427
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,407
It's like when
I talk about my job
428
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,743
and I tell you
how hard it is for me
429
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,162
to go in and serve meat
every day, you just dismiss it,
430
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,455
or you make a joke.
431
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,124
Well, I make a joke,
because you make a joke.
432
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,795
I mean, that's the foundation
of our whole marriage, right?
433
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,757
We both have horrible lives,
but we can laugh about it.
434
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:33,010
Yeah, but sometimes
jokes aren't jokes.
435
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,721
I need you to check in
on me and see how I'm feeling
436
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,974
every once in a while,
just like I asked you
437
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,393
about your stupid plungers,
for God's sakes,
438
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:44,272
because I know that's
a stress in your job.
439
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,732
I-- I guess
I'm still learning
440
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,609
to figure out
which ones are jokes
441
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,280
and which are a cry for help.
442
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,615
Look, I get that
there's a learning curve.
443
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,285
But let's say I make
a joke about the same thing
444
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,370
3,000 times.
445
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,872
That is your clue
that something is bugging me
446
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,541
and to take it seriously.
447
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,042
You got it.
448
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,503
OK, so what happens
if I check in on you
449
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:11,340
and you were making a joke
and didn't need me to check in?
450
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,301
Well, then you're
being too clingy,
451
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,553
and that's, like,
a huge turnoff.
452
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,348
So I can't win?
453
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,891
- Yeah, now you're getting it.
- [laughs]
454
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,770
[bluesy harmonica music]
455
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,565
[piano notes plunking]
456
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:35,364
Uh, what's up
with the chickens?
457
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,284
We wanted to show you that
we care about animals, too,
458
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,578
so tonight,
we're not serving chicken.
459
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,912
We're serving chickens.
460
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,750
Wait, you're not
just fattening them up
461
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,626
to eat them later, right?
462
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,837
No, no.
463
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,590
That would be wrong.
464
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,258
Right?
465
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,888
Jackie's here.
466
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,514
I gotta hear about
her day with Bev.
467
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,768
So how was it?
468
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,436
Is Bev going to press charges?
469
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,604
No.
470
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,689
She's covering for us.
471
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,359
Oh, thank God.
472
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,195
I finally got the mother
I've always wanted today.
473
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,572
And the day ended
at Union Station,
474
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:21,577
where my mom got on a train
and went God knows where.
475
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,456
What are you talking about?
476
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,291
Bev didn't want
to live the rest
477
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,251
of her life confined
to her home,
478
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,337
so she set off
on a glorious journey.
479
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,298
And she'll just see
where it takes her.
480
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,175
What a day.
481
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,096
Are you out
of your damn mind?
482
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,598
You let a 96-year-old
woman who thought
483
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,893
her granddaughter
was Davy Jones a few weeks ago
484
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,604
get on a train alone?
485
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,897
And you don't even
know where she's going?
486
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,524
I didn't need to.
487
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,234
She's doing what she wants,
and she's thinking
488
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,402
pretty clearly now, too.
489
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,403
Ask Dan.
490
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,445
Yeah, she is--
491
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,863
for now.
492
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,199
Wow, I really
thought the chicken
493
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,618
playing piano was going to be
the highlight of the night.
494
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,623
You're not really being
serious, are you, Aunt Jackie?
495
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,250
You stopped her, right?
Come on.
496
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,376
God,
you guys just don't get it.
497
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,586
You guys don't
understand how beautiful
498
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:17,675
it is to see an old, frail
woman get on a train alone
499
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,969
and not know where she's going.
500
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:24,598
I mean, I don't think
I've ever seen her happier.
501
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,934
Sure, because she thinks
she's on a train to Marrakesh
502
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,145
with Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
503
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,188
She wasn't just leaving.
504
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,942
She was giving me the gift
of closure and release
505
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,777
from responsibility.
506
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,070
I'm tracking her phone.
507
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,156
If she gets into trouble,
I can go get her.
508
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,367
I swear, you people,
you couldn't appreciate
509
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,953
something profound
and moving if it
510
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,538
was right in front of you.
511
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:48,914
[scoffs]
Oh, yeah?
512
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,040
You might feel differently
when you see what's
513
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,250
going on in the kitchen.
514
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,294
[piano notes plunking]
515
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,629
Well,
that's the most ridicul--
516
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,924
it takes two chickens
to peck out "Heart and Soul."
517
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,718
[piano notes plunking]
518
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:03,846
[piano notes plunking]
519
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:06,849
[bluesy rock music]
520
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:13,898
♪ ♪
521
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,370
[child giggles]