1
00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:05,838
Thanks for letting Bev play, guys.
2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,899
I'm not sure who you're talking to.
3
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:10,009
We didn't want her.
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,839
I would have been fine at home,
5
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,719
but Jackie doesn't trust me there.
6
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,039
Mom! I went to check the mail,
7
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,978
and you pulled up half the
carpeting in my bedroom!
8
00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:24,669
Some of these older apartments
have beautiful hardwood floors.
9
00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:27,049
Don't blame me because yours didn't.
10
00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,189
Check.
11
00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:31,979
Y'know, you can roll
up a body in a carpet.
12
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:35,244
Just something to put in
your pocket for later.
13
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,199
You hit bad traffic again?
14
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,039
Getting home later and
later every night.
15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,919
Yeah. I was stuck on
the Dan Ryan forever.
16
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,699
I know we built that
expressway to honor him,
17
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:45,909
but all anybody ever says is,
18
00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:48,769
"I was stuck on the
stupid-ass Dan Ryan."
19
00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:50,174
Did the kids get dinner?
20
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,279
For themselves.
21
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,138
They didn't make me anything.
22
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:57,699
Hey, Jackie, I think Harris lost
23
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:59,199
one of her good earrings in the couch.
24
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,600
Can you give me a hand looking for it?
25
00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:03,188
I didn't even know Harris
had any good earrings.
26
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:08,739
She doesn't. Her ears are
constantly infected.
27
00:01:08,740 --> 00:01:10,899
I-I just... I had to talk to somebody.
28
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,150
I'm going crazy.
29
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:14,169
Oh. Pretend we're looking
through the couch.
30
00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:15,658
What's wrong?
31
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,669
I wasn't on the expressway.
32
00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:19,489
I was at David's.
33
00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:21,649
Well, why would you lie
to your dad about that?
34
00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:24,899
You and David see each other all
the time 'cause of the kids.
35
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:27,419
Yeah, I know. But...
36
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:30,169
today, we were making out.
37
00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:32,739
I can't tell my dad that I
was making out with my ex
38
00:01:32,740 --> 00:01:34,260
while I'm also dating Ben.
39
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,679
You and David? When did this start?
40
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,140
The last couple of months.
41
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:41,189
We just started talking
about the relationship
42
00:01:41,190 --> 00:01:43,144
to see if we could make it work again,
43
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,919
and then tonight, we stopped talking
44
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,640
because our tongues were
in each other's mouths.
45
00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:49,359
But I thought you and
Ben were doing great.
46
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,779
We are.
47
00:01:50,780 --> 00:01:52,639
But, you know, I still
have feelings for David,
48
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,739
and if there's a chance I can
put my family back together,
49
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,032
I have to try, right?
50
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,367
You have to give up Ben.
51
00:01:57,368 --> 00:02:00,995
Why would I do that?
52
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,039
Ben and I are amazing together.
53
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,959
Oh! Oh. It's the classic
wanting of the cake
54
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,128
followed by the ever-present
eating of it, too.
55
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,949
How are... How are you even
having time for all this?
56
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:14,899
I-I don't. I-I'm like
this close to losing it.
57
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,519
When I'm supposed to be
with David, I'm with Ben.
58
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:17,939
When I'm supposed to be
with Ben, I'm with David.
59
00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:20,429
When I'm supposed to be with the
kids, I'm with Ben or David.
60
00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:21,724
You know...
61
00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:26,299
... you are right on the verge
62
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,815
of having sex with both of them.
63
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,639
No. No way.
64
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,539
I cannot go any further with David
65
00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:34,509
while I'm still seeing Ben.
66
00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:36,209
I can't sleep with two guys.
67
00:02:36,210 --> 00:02:37,445
I'm not that person.
68
00:02:37,446 --> 00:02:39,119
Let me tell you, I've been that person,
69
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,530
and it can be a nightmare.
70
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:47,240
A fantastic nightmare.
71
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,199
Hey, guys.
72
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,219
- Hey, preggy.
- Hey, Beck.
73
00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:52,729
- Hey, Becky.
- Hey, hey, li'l mama.
74
00:02:52,730 --> 00:02:54,340
Wow, you're getting big.
75
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,508
Is that baby moving?
76
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,769
Not yet. But she's watching the papers
77
00:02:57,770 --> 00:03:00,350
for a younger uterus in
a better neighborhood.
78
00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:02,515
What's up?
79
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,499
Aunt Jackie asked me to come by
80
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,609
and go over a birth
plan she made for me.
81
00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:10,022
I was expecting a page or two.
82
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,160
I got the Encyclopedia Insanica.
83
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,119
Aunt Jackie's looking for something
84
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,799
to give meaning to her life.
85
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,399
You just happened to be in the station
86
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,059
when the crazy train pulled in.
87
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,372
Tag. You're it.
88
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,584
I'm cashing out.
89
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,829
No way! I've been losing
to her all night!
90
00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:33,439
She wants to leave.
91
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,965
It's a win.
92
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,709
Did you read my birth plan?
93
00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:41,009
I tried. It's just too much.
94
00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:42,594
Can't we just go over this later?
95
00:03:42,595 --> 00:03:44,079
I'm not due for two more months.
96
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,679
But everything in here is important.
97
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,059
Having soft lights and calming music
98
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,049
and putting the baby on your chest
99
00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:53,959
so there's a surge of oxytocin
and she bonds to you.
100
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:58,479
I've got a whole chapter
on infant car seats.
101
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,139
I just don't know what
all the fuss is about.
102
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:03,979
In my day, we wrapped
the baby in a napkin
103
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:06,799
and took it home in our purse.
104
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,122
Mom!
105
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:11,919
You're confusing it with stealing
muffins from a restaurant.
106
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,269
Hey.
107
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:17,215
So, that's where all the glasses are.
108
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:19,802
Yesterday, I had to drink
milk out of a shot glass.
109
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,919
Sorry. I try not to come down here.
110
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,779
It's like a public bathroom at the mall.
111
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:28,518
You just want to get in and
out and not make eye contact.
112
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,919
Harris, you should be a part of this.
113
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,049
One day, you might have a baby.
114
00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,439
You'll want to know this stuff.
115
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,733
Pass. I'm not having any kids.
116
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,939
And why not?
117
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:38,778
It's a different time, Nana.
118
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,099
You don't have to have a bunch of kids
119
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,198
to give your life meaning.
120
00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:45,439
Good luck getting a man
with that attitude.
121
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,220
Oh, crap! I think I just peed myself.
122
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,835
It's not stopping.
123
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:57,505
- Becky, I think your water broke.
- Oh, no.
124
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,119
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
125
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,093
Oh, really, Becky, it's much too soon!
126
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:05,930
You never disappoint!
127
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,099
Dan! Dan!
128
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,629
We're heading to the hospital!
Becky's water broke!
129
00:05:10,630 --> 00:05:13,029
Damn. I'll drive. Let's go.
130
00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:15,869
This isn't happening.
I have two more months.
131
00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:17,499
Harris, we don't have time.
132
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,050
Clean that up, would ya?
133
00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:24,580
This is why I don't come down.
134
00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:30,389
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
135
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:05,239
"The Conners" is recorded in
front of a live studio audience.
136
00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:10,819
The contractions are getting closer!
137
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:13,956
Why aren't they taking me in?
We have to stop this.
138
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,819
Dad's getting a nurse.
As soon as he gets one,
139
00:06:15,820 --> 00:06:17,620
they're gonna give you something
to stop the contractions.
140
00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:20,299
And until then, we're gonna do
some visualization exercises
141
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,709
to stay calm. So,
142
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:24,369
uh... baby doesn't want to come out.
143
00:06:24,370 --> 00:06:26,719
Baby's happy where it is.
144
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,759
The baby is moving like crazy.
145
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,050
- That isn't working.
- Okay,
146
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,839
well, then, we'll... we'll
just talk to the baby.
147
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,399
Uh, uh, sweetheart, hi.
148
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,049
It's your Aunt Jackie and Mommy.
149
00:06:36,050 --> 00:06:39,119
And we just want you to
know there's no rush.
150
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,899
U-Uh, there's no money for college,
151
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:45,559
and, uh, your daddy's
been deported to Mexico,
152
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,575
and there's alcohol addiction
in your genetic background.
153
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,119
You're freaking the baby out.
154
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,599
Next.
155
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,579
Are you having chest
pains, a sudden rash,
156
00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:56,599
or breathing issues?
157
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,292
All of those, but it's not for me.
158
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,499
My daughter's been sitting
there for 30 minutes.
159
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,132
Her water broke, but the baby's
not due for two more months.
160
00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:05,339
Have her fill this out.
161
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:07,051
We'll get to her as fast as we can.
162
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,459
No. You take her in,
163
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:11,399
and I'll fill out the forms
while she's in there.
164
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,307
I want somebody to see her now.
165
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,726
Forms first. Care second.
166
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:19,481
How about I wheel her back
there and you try and stop me?
167
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,859
Orderly?
168
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:24,580
Take the geriatric pregnancy
into a room, please.
169
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,280
"Geriatric"?
170
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,849
You are so lucky that I can't
get up and come over there,
171
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,539
'cause a baby would fall out of me.
172
00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:38,999
Hey.
173
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,819
You didn't have to come in.
174
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,509
You were at the hospital all night.
175
00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:43,579
I missed you.
176
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:44,699
I missed you, too.
177
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,632
- Mm.
- How's Becky?
178
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,559
Uh, they're still waiting to see
179
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,919
if the medication'll stop the
contractions completely.
180
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,539
My dad and Jackie are there.
181
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:55,359
Actually, I looked over some
stuff in the waiting room.
182
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,728
There is a typo in the proofs.
183
00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:02,059
Mm, my work doesn't have typos.
184
00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,959
Oh. Um, could you do me a huge favor
185
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,799
and run down to the coffee shop
186
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,820
and get me another cup
of coffee with agave?
187
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,439
And on the off chance
188
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,619
that Cup 'O Mud doesn't have agave,
189
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,414
is there another exotic
plant that you'll accept?
190
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,875
Uh, yes, I'll take black tar heroin.
191
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,370
Got it.
192
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:26,839
Hey, David.
193
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,940
Uh, I'm at work. What's up?
194
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,219
Yeah, yeah. That would be really sweet.
195
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,559
I-I'll come by and pick you up,
196
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,431
and we can both go to
the hospital together.
197
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,849
Okay. Love you, too.
198
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,890
... Daddy.
199
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:45,150
I've never heard you call
your dad "Daddy" before.
200
00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:47,679
Yeah, I'm feeling very
fragile right now.
201
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,650
- I need my daddy.
- Oh.
202
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,239
I, uh, just forgot the wallet.
I'll be right back.
203
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,279
Uh, you know what?
204
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,368
I-I don't need another cup.
I'm already vibrating.
205
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,959
All right. I gotta be honest.
206
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,659
I am worried about you.
207
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:04,140
You look exhausted.
208
00:09:05,190 --> 00:09:08,547
Yeah, it's that stupid-ass Dan
Ryan. That's the problem.
209
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,499
Well, we both know what the solution is.
210
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,302
You move in with me.
211
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,019
You know those signs that
say "If you lived here,
212
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:19,679
you'd be home and having
sex with Ben by now"?
213
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:23,429
You'd be home and having
sex with Ben by now.
214
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,579
I love you, you know,
215
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:26,690
but I just really can't
think about this right now.
216
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,779
Okay. Tabled for another time.
217
00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:31,049
At least let me just drive
you back to the hospital,
218
00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:32,070
keep you company.
219
00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:33,299
U-Uh, no. You know what?
220
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:34,589
That's so sweet,
221
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:36,659
but it's just too many
people at the hospital.
222
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,280
When you're expecting a preemie,
they give you a smaller room.
223
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,949
How's Aunt Becky?
224
00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:47,199
Oh, pretty much the same.
225
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,699
I'm just gonna grab some stuff for her
226
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,131
and run back to the hospital.
227
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,509
Okay. Want me to save
you some kale salad?
228
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,680
Listen, let me tell you about kale.
229
00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:03,149
In the old days, you'd
go to the cafeteria,
230
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:04,279
and it was the green stuff
231
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,648
that kept the ice from
touching the cottage cheese.
232
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,160
It's all hype!
233
00:10:09,170 --> 00:10:12,319
You don't go from garnish to superfood.
234
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,989
I feel so stupid. I fell for it.
235
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,989
Coming! Coming!
236
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,720
Coming!
237
00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:26,500
Hi. How can I help you?
238
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:29,170
I'm looking for Harris Healy's mother.
239
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:32,109
She's not home from work yet,
but I'm Harris' grandfather.
240
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:33,382
What can I do for you?
241
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,719
Your granddaughter goes
to school with my son,
242
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,346
and she sold him a homemade pot cookie.
243
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,939
Okay.
244
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,939
I can kind of believe she sold him pot,
245
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:46,313
but I do not believe she baked anything.
246
00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:48,640
Believe it.
247
00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:51,029
Kyle freaked out, and I was up all night
248
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:55,237
trying to reassure him that
time wasn't standing still.
249
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:58,299
Yeah, that stuff does get on top of you.
250
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,669
Listen, I'm really sorry.
251
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:02,661
We would never want that
to happen to any kid.
252
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,119
You tell her I had to
take him to urgent care.
253
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,379
I'm out 200 bucks,
254
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:09,127
and I need it to pay
for my tattoo removal.
255
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,439
So, my new husband
256
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,779
can't handle looking at my ex's face
257
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:17,570
while he's behind me.
258
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,859
Uh... your first husband...
259
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,940
liked looking at his own face?
260
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:28,979
It was a red flag I ignored, okay?
261
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:32,049
I'm really sorry. I-I can't
help you with the money.
262
00:11:32,050 --> 00:11:33,060
I don't have it.
263
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,279
All right, well, maybe
I'll just take something
264
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,860
worth 200 bucks.
265
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,080
I'll come back when the mother's home.
266
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,419
- Hey.
- Are you Harris Healy's mother?
267
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,382
'Cause if you are, you owe me money.
268
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:57,539
Nope.
269
00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:00,329
Well, tell her I'll be back.
270
00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:03,932
I will. You have a blessed day!
271
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,849
What the hell was that all about?
272
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:08,399
You got a problem.
Your daughter's selling
273
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,979
pot cookies at school.
274
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,119
What?
275
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,139
How come when I get home,
276
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:14,409
it's never "Somebody got a scholarship"?
277
00:12:14,410 --> 00:12:15,526
Where's Harris?
278
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,529
At the hospital.
279
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,239
Damn.
280
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,349
- What's wrong?
- They couldn't stop the labor.
281
00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:24,577
The baby's coming now.
282
00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:27,459
All right, we gotta get going
283
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:30,200
before Bev wraps it in a napkin
and puts it in her purse.
284
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,169
Okay, just one more push.
285
00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:41,269
I can't!
286
00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:44,054
You can. It's a preemie. It's small!
287
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,557
One more push.
288
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,853
Oh, my God, she's here!
289
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,730
Nurse.
290
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,449
Is she okay?
291
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:55,899
Why isn't she crying?
292
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,979
You did great. Just rest for a second.
293
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:59,769
Why aren't they putting her on my chest?
294
00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:01,099
This is exactly what's
supposed to happen.
295
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,448
They're gonna take her to the NICU.
296
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,529
I wanna see her.
297
00:13:03,530 --> 00:13:05,239
Just let them do their jobs. It's okay.
298
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,410
Does she look normal?
299
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,870
Yes!
300
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,839
Then why can't I see her?
301
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,549
Because she's very small.
302
00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:14,294
She can't be seen by the naked eye.
303
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,239
This is all my fault.
304
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,579
I'm too old. I drank too much.
305
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:23,177
That's why she was born too early.
306
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,554
No, come on. Don't do that, Becky.
307
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,579
You know what... I-I did
everything right with Harris,
308
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:28,959
and she was a preemie.
309
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,684
And she turned out fine.
310
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,179
No, she didn't!
311
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,159
The County ER always reminds me
312
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,699
of that scene in "Gone With the Wind"
313
00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:45,699
with all the Confederate soldiers
314
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,203
laying on the ground, dying.
315
00:13:49,570 --> 00:13:51,121
Frankly...
316
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:55,502
I didn't care for the cursing
at the end of that movie.
317
00:13:56,510 --> 00:13:59,239
Okay. Baby's here.
318
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,295
Are Becky and the baby okay?
319
00:14:01,296 --> 00:14:04,299
Becky's fine. Uh, the baby
wasn't breathing on her own,
320
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:06,469
but they put her on a ventilator,
and now she's stable.
321
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,638
Thank God.
322
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,264
Can we go back there now?
323
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,789
Uh, Becky's pretty upset,
324
00:14:10,790 --> 00:14:12,789
but she's got Jackie in there with her,
325
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:14,229
so it's gonna get worse.
326
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,599
Uh, you're not going anywhere.
327
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,732
What?
328
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,959
You're selling pot cookies at school?
329
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,277
Are... Are you stupid?
330
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,238
Are we really gonna do this right here?
331
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,299
Yes, we are.
332
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,783
Kyle's mom came by. She had
to take him to urgent care.
333
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,960
I told him "half a cookie."
334
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:34,619
This is not about Kyle's
inability to maintain.
335
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:36,501
This is about you selling drugs.
336
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:38,419
Oh, my God. They're gonna be selling pot
337
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,359
to everybody here in three months.
338
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,449
Nobody cares.
339
00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:43,089
And it's not like I'm eating it.
340
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,319
Wh... Hey.
341
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,619
You cannot eat it, you can't sell it,
342
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:47,789
and you're underage.
343
00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:49,803
And by the way, who are
you getting weed from?
344
00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:52,379
It's everywhere. Everybody's selling it.
345
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:54,959
Honestly, it's kind of amazing
that I'm doing so well.
346
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,669
My hustle is putting it in
cookies and adding cardamom.
347
00:14:57,670 --> 00:15:00,107
It's exotic and a little unexpected.
348
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,639
You're actually bragging about this?
349
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,769
Do you realize if Kyle's
mom had called the cops,
350
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,699
you'd be sitting in jail right now?
351
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:07,759
You know what... you're gonna give me
352
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,799
all the money you made from this,
353
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,099
I'm taking your phone away,
354
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,579
and you're not leaving the house
for the rest of the semester.
355
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,460
Oh, wow. I'm grounded.
356
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:16,219
Like you're gonna know if I'm even home.
357
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,334
You're never around.
358
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,359
You really think it hurts me
359
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,179
pointing out that I'm not a good mother?
360
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:24,749
Like water off a duck's back, baby.
361
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:34,319
Bev?
362
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,269
Yes, Dan?
363
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,979
It's been a long day,
364
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,589
so please don't take this the wrong way.
365
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:43,567
But why are you here?
366
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,863
Everybody's gotta be somewhere.
367
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,039
I've had a crappy day.
368
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,550
Becky was afraid to see the baby.
369
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,869
Now she wants to, so I gotta
go back to the hospital.
370
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,579
There's pie. I got enough for everybody.
371
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,139
God bless ya!
372
00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:59,289
I was wondering where you were.
373
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,239
I'm only asking 'cause it's...
374
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,899
just been me and Bev here for hours.
375
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,090
Hours.
376
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,719
Did you know that when Jackie was born,
377
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,681
she caused my bladder
to drop into my vagina?
378
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,169
You had to say that now, didn't you?
379
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:23,340
Oh, I'm not gonna let
you ruin this for me.
380
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,009
No offense, Dan,
381
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,669
but I don't like to watch you eat.
382
00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:33,160
Ohh!
383
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,410
You enjoying that pie, Dad?
Smells great, huh?
384
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:41,419
Yep.
385
00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:44,119
Love the smell of apple pie.
386
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,599
So, you can smell apple
pie, but you can't smell
387
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,210
the smell of pot cookies
baking in your own house?
388
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,425
What?
389
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,469
H-How did you not know
what Harris was doing?
390
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:53,479
Whoa.
391
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,098
You're gonna blame your
kid selling drugs on me?
392
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,392
Yes, I am, because
you're here and I'm not.
393
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:00,269
- Whose fault is that?
- I'm working!
394
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:03,139
Are you? 'Cause you're
getting home at 10:00.
395
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:05,279
I don't know if you're with
Ben or what you're doing,
396
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,999
but you're definitely not
coming straight home
397
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,059
from work every night.
398
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,859
Oh, so I'm not allowed
to have a personal life?
399
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:11,649
Because I remember when I was a kid,
400
00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:13,699
you'd go straight from
work to the Lobo Lounge,
401
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,499
you'd have a beer, then you'd come home
402
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,859
and you'd say, "There's my girls!"
403
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:17,990
DJ would start crying,
404
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,910
and you'd go to the
garage to fix a bike.
405
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,639
Hey, I worked my ass off day and night
406
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,799
to support this family,
407
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,510
and I was always there when it counted.
408
00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:30,966
You need to get your head in
the game and raise your kids.
409
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,339
I already raised mine.
410
00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:34,139
Oh, did you, though? 'Cause
I'm pretty sure it's Mom
411
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,390
that raised us.
412
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,739
No.
413
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:39,760
If we're gonna be honest, the TV did.
414
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,483
How's she doing?
415
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:51,153
Hi. Uh...
416
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,159
Oh, every now and then,
417
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,239
when she's trying to
move her little arms,
418
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,109
she punches herself in the head.
419
00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:57,679
She's definitely a Conner.
420
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,179
Oh, wow.
421
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:01,699
Another Conner in the world.
422
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:05,439
What we don't have in quality,
we make up in volume.
423
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,210
Darn right we do.
424
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,714
Grammy Becky's here to see her baby.
425
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,591
Are you ready?
426
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,310
I think so.
427
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,449
Oh, my God.
428
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,350
She's so tiny.
429
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,479
Look at all the tubes.
430
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,319
I know it looks scary, but
all those things in there
431
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,250
are helping her get stronger.
432
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,909
She's looking at me.
433
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:34,659
Yeah, of course she is. You're her mom.
434
00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:36,157
I'm her mom.
435
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,819
Have you decided on a name yet?
436
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:42,659
You know, the name "Jacqueline"
means "May God protect."
437
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:46,250
We could call her Jackie Jr.
That'd be so cute, right?
438
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,119
Her name is Beverly Rose.
439
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,559
I wanted a connection with the family.
440
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,051
Becky, um...
441
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,669
I want you to know
442
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,299
that I will always love this baby.
443
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:03,569
But I consider it a personal attack
444
00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:06,719
and a negation of my
entire childhood of pain
445
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,079
that you have named this precious angel
446
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,099
after the vessel of
evil that is my mother.
447
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,770
'Nuff said.
448
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:16,699
Come on, Deej.
449
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,699
Let's let these two get to
know each other better.
450
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:19,879
You need anything?
451
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,610
No. We're fine.
452
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:24,849
Love you, sis.
453
00:19:24,850 --> 00:19:26,440
Thanks.
454
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,870
I'm so sorry.
455
00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:58,699
See? It's even better
when you wait for it.
456
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,229
I'm gonna go get the pizza.
457
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:02,826
What?!
458
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,412
Was that naked man in your bed David?
459
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,899
Shh! Yes!
460
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,123
What are you doing here?
461
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:09,799
I needed a night away from Bev.
462
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,239
Well, this is great. You
finally made a decision.
463
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,670
You broke up with Ben.
464
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,959
Well, that sure would
have made things simpler.
465
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,479
Wait.
466
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,279
You're sleeping with both of them?
467
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,134
I thought you weren't
that kind of person.
468
00:20:22,135 --> 00:20:23,239
Well, apparently I am.
469
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,889
I set a boundary, and I crossed it.
470
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,299
I'm so stupid. Why did I do that?
471
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:28,769
You gotta help me, Jackie.
472
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,299
Well, I...
473
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,429
If somebody took Ben off your hands,
474
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,608
would that help?
475
00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:35,969
Stay away from him!
476
00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:36,985
Okay!
477
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,229
Good night!
478
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:44,284
A brand-new Conner.
479
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:47,099
Let's learn from the
mistakes of our past.
480
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,449
Oh, I agree.
481
00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:50,399
You know what... let's raise
her to expect nothing,
482
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,501
so she's never disappointed.
483
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,795
Or we can tell her she can
be whatever she wants to be.
484
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,409
That's a mean joke to play on a baby.
485
00:20:57,410 --> 00:21:00,439
Wait. What if we never
tell her she's a Conner,
486
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,949
but we'll raise her like Moses...
487
00:21:02,950 --> 00:21:03,959
or Tarzan!
488
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,889
Oh, yeah. Like Tarzan.
489
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,469
But instead of holding on to a vine,
490
00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:09,249
she can hold on to a job.
491
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:10,599
Quick... let's go tell Becky
492
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,300
before she fills out
the birth certificate.
493
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,600
This is for when you come home.
494
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:23,209
You no Tarzan. You Conner.
495
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:29,160
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