Previously...
-Hey, hey, hey, hey! -No!
I don't forgive you, because what you did--
I know. I know.
But I can't waste any more of my life.
-That's an apology. -[Oscar] No, it's a quiche.
For intercoursing my wife?
Why did you, with Dom?
I mean, you can't have loved him.
[Caroline] Christ, no!
When we were...
was I...
Do you mean were you better than your mum?
-Oh, my God, no, no. Forget it! -Oh, no, no, no.
Do you have a good support network?
[Miri] I've got friends. I've got a friend.
-There's Billy. -I want to take you on a date.
A proper date.
One foot wrong and you're back in prison, so don't forget that.
[John] There are people
who want to poison
my daughter's memory
with lies
-and slander. -[Mandy] I was 17.
And you were the grown-up.
It wouldn't be hard to dismantle you.
This community
has got us through
the darkest of times.
We'll make sure
we're not dragged into the darkness again.
gentle, haunting music
[Mandy] Once upon a time, there were
three little piggies
who were just trying to live their lives.
But the Big Bad Wolf wanted to destroy them.
He couldn't help himself.
The first little piggy built a house of straw
and tried to live in it,
but the Big Bad Wolf wanted to eat her up,
so he blew the house down.
She tried to run away, but he found her.
She was his now, and he was going to eat her slowly,
a bite at a time.
The second little piggy built a house of sticks,
but he ran that over in his car.
Tried to kill her, the bastard.
But thankfully, she got away.
The third little piggy was fed up.
He'd ruined her childhood, taken her virginity.
So she built herself a house of bricks,
and nothing could get in.
But he kept on and on, trying to blow it down.
Till one day she decided
she had had enough.
Oh. You okay?
Uh, yeah, I'm amazing. I'm on fire.
I'm powerful like a ninja
and no one is ever gonna mess with me again.
-Where's Mandy? -I don't know.
But do you know where her Wonderbra is?
'Cause I need to make myself look more womanly.
She said she was returning my waffle maker,
but she's not at Cookfellows.
She-she was at the churchyard, and now she's at the pier.
-So she's on the pier. -What?
Well, you just asked where she was.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
She's on the pier.
How do you even know that?
From her phone.
Are you-- Are you tracking your wife?
Not her, her phone. She loses it a lot.
Okay, so what is the problem, apart from the fact that
you're a spy, and I need to make my tits look bigger?
She should be in Cookfellows. It closes at 8 p.m.
I bought it in the sale, and if she doesn't return it
by 8 p.m., it's unreturnable.
I'd go find her, but I--
But you don't want her to know that you're stalking her.
Not her, her phone.
Aah! It's a waffle maker, Mark!
I've got my first-ever date in 20 minutes.
I'm making mashed potato.
It's my first-ever date in my whole life ever.
Please?
Oh, okay, fine. Fine. Did she seem okay?
-Where exactly is she? -She's at the lighthouse now.
-That's really creepy, Mark. -Don't tell her.
It's really fucking creepy.
Thanks.
You're just as annoying as you were at school, by the way.
Thank you.
[sighs] Fuck's sake.
quick, intriguing music
[sighs]
Mandy?
Hello?
Mandy?
Oh, Jesus!
-What are you doing here? -What are you doing?
-I'm looking for Mandy, not you. -She's not here.
-Mandy? -I guess it's just you and me.
No one for miles.
Are you threatening me?
Just stating the facts.
Just stop it. Stop it!
None of this will bring her back.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't like you.
You don't like me, but I don't wish you ill.
Just go home.
-Go back to your life. -[Mandy] I wish you ill.
Oh! Jesus Christ,
why is everyone hiding in a lighthouse?
If you go near my daughter again, I will fucking--
It was cold. She was walking home.
-Ugh. -I was being a gentleman.
I know what you're doing.
You're trying to mess with my head.
She reminded me of you.
-You fucking arsehole! -Rise above him, Mandy.
-You're a bully. A horrible-- -Yes, he is. He is, but--
I'm good friends with the school governors.
I think I'm gonna have a word with them,
suggest you take some time off.
Unstable.
Danger to the school.
-Stop it! Oh, -[Geri beeping]
God, she's hungry. I will...
I will feed her later.
Can you just leave her alone?
We have to make peace.
-Little whore. -[Miri] Oh, come on.
You wolf!
Guys, enough! Okay? Enough.
Mandy, go home. I need to borrow a Wonderbra.
And, John-- I'm gonna start calling you John--
just stop it. Drop it.
You used to make a mean lasagna.
Be that guy. Be lasagna guy.
Not this supervillain.
Hey, look, I know that you suffered a terrible tragedy
at my hands, but don't you worry, I am paying for that
every second of my life.
You, you're a free man. You can--
Free? How dare you.
You can never escape grief.
I know, I know. Believe me, I know.
And I... I will never stop being sorry
for the grief that I have caused you.
But you can do better than this.
Don't get stuck in this.
We have to live our lives as best we can... for her.
-For Lara. -Yes. Yes.
Yeah?
Okay, come on. Let's-let's go home. Oh.
-[phone ringing] -Sorry. Shit. Ah.
Billy, hi. Yeah. I'll be there in 20.
I've never been more excited in my life.
[Mandy gasps]
[Miri] Mandy, what the fuck?
Wh-- Whoops.
Whoops?
Uh... uh...
I... Pants. S-spliff.
I-I need a spliff.
-Why did you do that? -He-he smirked.
He smirked?
And smirking is fucking awful.
Oh! Oh.
-Is he dead? -Yeah. No.
-He might not be. -I think he is. Oh, my God.
-Don't-don't-don't touch him. -I'm not gonna touch him!
-Okay. Okay. -If I go anywhere
near him, I am in prison for life.
Do you understand? I've already done that once for you,
-and I'm not doing that again. -It was a mistake.
-You fucking killed him. -It was a slap.
-You smashed his face in. -He smirked.
-Oh, my God, fuck! -Anyway,
he-he might just... He might be sleeping.
He's not sleeping, you crazy fucking idiot!
Look, don't you be angry with me,
and don't shout at me because I am your best friend.
You are officially the worst best friend in the world ever,
-ever, ever, ever, ever... -Oh.
...ever, ever, ever.
-Ever. -No, sorry, that is not fair.
You have just killed someone in front of your best friend,
who has been in prison for killing our best friend.
Do you have any idea how bad that is?
I need... I need a...
-need a wee. -A wee?
Oh, my God, Mandy.
-[Mandy] Oh, God. -Christ.
I've got money. Let's go to Thailand.
-No! -Car.
But I've got the car.
We-we can drive off like Thelma & Louise.
Go drive yourself into a canyon.
I thought they got to the other side.
No! Oh, my God, they kill themselves.
What?! That...
That is so sad.
Oh, fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Do you know what?
-This is your mess, Mandy. -No.
Yeah, it's all yours. Call an ambulance.
I am gonna go and see Billy,
because it's very, very important to me,
and you have already stolen the first part of my life.
You do not get this bit.
-Oh, Miri! -No! No.
[door opens]
-[door closes] -Oh, shit.
Uh...
I'm sorry.
But you shouldn't have been such a prick.
[groans softly]
There. [sniffles, sighs]
[sighs]
[exhales]
Okay.
Um...
slow, haunting music
[sighs]
-Oh, so you're already in-- -Yup.
Up early.
I'm helping the ladies with the food bank in the morning.
Oh, right. So you're officially
-back in the-- -Yup.
-Good. -[doorbell rings]
-What? -Good God.
It's 7:30 p.m. Who could possibly be--
I've no idea.
[doorbell ringing repeatedly]
-[quietly] Go on. -Who is it?
-Hi. -Dom?
What on earth are you doing here?
I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm cold.
-Well, go home. -She won't let me.
-Yeah, I'm not surprised. -I need a poo.
Please. Just one poo.
-What? -I just... I just need one.
I've been living in my car for the last three weeks.
I just need to have a poo in a warm loo, and then I'll go.
His lips are blue.
Oh, for God's sake.
-Oh, it's coming. -[Oscar] Oh, oh.
-Go... go on. In you go. -Oh! Oh!
Christ!
[running up stairs]
-Well, thanks a lot. -Well, you let him in.
He was about to do a turd on our doorstep, Caroline.
He had pants on. Surely they'd have held it.
[Oscar scoffing softly]
-[phone ringing] -[panting]
Oh.
-[phone ringing again] -[panting loudly]
-Billy? -[Billy] Hiya.
-You okay? -Sorry, yeah.
I'll be there in a sec.
-Oh, uh, oh. Okay. -[phone beeps off]
-[Cerys] Dad! -[Miri scoffs]
Has she been on my bike again?
Ugh! Can we just make her leave?
-[knocking] -Uh, come in.
-Uh... -Yeah.
...don't take her bike again.
-She's got a real temper. -Cool.
Hey, thanks for that. Whatever you said worked.
-What? -Mandy's in Cookfellows.
[Mandy] I mean what's the use,
you know, if the middle is gooey?
-Hmm. -[thudding on counter]
Hmm.
I'll refund the card.
Oh, yeah. Amazing.
Amazing. Thank you so much.
Thank God. I-I know-know
you thought I was being a pain, but it was, like, 59.99,
so you can understand that, uh...
-Yeah. -So...
Do you think she loves me?
-Uh, yes. Yeah. Uh-huh. -Do you?
-I don't know. -I'm sure she does.
I mean, we haven't been intimate in years.
-Ah, well. Ooh. -[phone beeps]
I mean, I know
-she watches porn. -Oh, fuck.
-But, uh... -I am...
I'm so sorry, but I'm running incredibly late.
-Can we talk about... Oh. Okay. -[crying]
That's right, yeah. Just, uh, cry it all out.
Let it go. Let it all go. Let it...
-[crying] -Let it all out. Bye-bye.
-[crying] -You'll be fine.
-Uh, I'm sorry. Bye. -[sobbing]
[indistinct voices on TV]
-Fuck you. -[screams] Please, Cerys.
I am so, so late. I'm begging you.
-No way. -It's the last time.
-No! -[Mark weeps]
Your dad is... He's-he's crying.
Can you ma-make him a cup of tea or something?
-Did you make him cry? -Um, n-no, no.
Just, he-he needs you.
[crying continues]
[scoffs, groans]
Oh, wow! Wow!
Right.
[sighs]
Oh! Hello!
[laughing] How are ya? In there.
Oh, I-I didn't think you'd come.
-Oh, as if. -Yeah. A scooter.
-No, yes. -That's nice.
-I just really love them. -Yeah.
-Um... -Hey. Hi.
-Okay. -Oh. How you doing?
-Nervous. [laughs] -Yeah. [laughs]
Please sit. Wow.
You've got some... got some eyes there.
-Oh, yes. Yeah. -It's lovely.
-Thank you. -Yeah.
-Well, uh... -So welcome to your first date.
-Did you hire this whole place? -Yeah.
Yeah. No. It's 8:30 in Hythe.
-[siren blaring] -Oh. [chuckles]
[siren retreats]
Are you okay?
Yeah. I was just checking
that my scooter was okay, and it's okay.
-Oh, right. -[chuckles softly] Yeah.
So then, many eyes, I got you this.
And I know it makes you gassy,
but I just thought, you know, special occasion.
-Thank you. -Yeah. There you are.
-Okay, good. -Yeah.
-Cheers. Cheers. -Cheers. Cheers.
-You all right? -Mm.
Yeah?
-Just very excited. -Yeah.
This is taking a very long time.
-Well, you've been known to-- -Oh, fuck off, Caroline.
It's quiet.
Do you think he's okay?
Oscar, you should have said. I look ridiculous!
Why don't you put on your lipstick?
You want to look at your best, don't you?
-I knew it. -What?
You haven't forgiven me at all.
-I have. -You haven't. Those were words.
-You're still furious. -I'm not.
-You are. -I am not!
Yes, you are. I've felt it for weeks.
-Oh, nonsense. -You don't want to be near me.
-Ludicrous. -Cutting me out of your life
with your silly campaign.
My silly campaign is trying
to save the planet, unlike your coven of ungodly witches.
Well, they're nicer to me than you are at the moment.
Oh, excuse me if I'm not in the jolliest of moods,
but the man who defiled my wife
is currently defiling my toilet!
See? There it is!
Fine. I thought forgiving you would be easier than this!
It was never going to be.
It was just the beginning.
Mmm.
-Just... -Mmm. It's yummy.
-Mmm. -[laughs]
I, um... I have some news.
-Oh? -Yeah.
I, uh... I bought an ice cream van on eBay.
-It arrives tomorrow. -Oh, wow.
-Billy! -Yeah. I had a plan
to do that eventually, but maybe we could... together.
I mean, I know you officially start at the supermarket
on Thursday, but in the future,
maybe we could be the "Ice Creamers"
or something, you know?
Travel around in our little van,
and I could fix gardens, too, and, um...
Well, we'd be free, you know.
And, um, we could be our own bosses
and go on adventures.
But, do you know what, absolutely not if you don't--
I mean, no, no. It's-it's-it's the best thing
I've ever heard. Really.
-Oh, good. Ooh. -Mm.
[Billy laughs]
Ah.
slow, haunting music
- -What? What?
Oh. Is... is that blood?
-It's period. -What?
-Period?
In-in, in your... in your hair?
Yeah. It happens sometimes.
-It's on your neck, too. -[gasps] Here?
-How-how does it, um...? -Um, it's from my hands.
-Mm-hmm. Yeah? -'Cause... [laughs]
When I change my period, and then it...
-it gets on my hands, and-- -Oh.
[crying] And then I touch my hair.
-And then I touch my neck. -Wow.
-Yeah. -Well, you should just, um...
You should just wash your hands more.
-I should, I know. -Yeah.
Like, that is... that is a lot
for somebody just to process.
It's disgusting. I'm disgusting.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you crying?
I'm... I'm bad news, Billy.
Oh, come on. Just wash your hands more.
-It's basic hygiene. -No.
You shouldn't be involved with me.
-I am a shit magnet. -Well, Miri,
or just use hand gel. It's fine.
-Billy? -Yes.
Billy...
It isn't period on-on my hair.
Oh, thank Christ. Oh!
-No! Listen to me, listen to me. -[chuckles] Yeah.
You're not gonna want to be with me after this.
-Hey. -But all I ask
is that you believe me
if you can believe me.
Please believe me.
This-this blood, it's...
someone else's blood.
At the lighthouse, do you remember
that you...? Remember you... remember you called me?
And I-I hung up, because behind me,
Mandy-- she smashed Lara's father in the head,
and I think that he is...
-Oh, God. -And so I-I just...
I just... I-I ran.
I left... um, I left Mandy to-to be with you
and to not be near the scene 'cause it doesn't
-look very good for me. -No, no, no. No,
it doesn't, Miri. Why does everyone around you keep dying?
I didn't touch him, okay? I didn't touch him.
And I was trying to make peace, and I thought
-that I sort of had-- -Fuck sakes, Miri!
Fuck!
Ugh. Why does this happen to you all the time?
-Drama. -I'm sorry.
[sighs heavily]
[sniffles] I'm gonna...
Hey, hey.
-I believe you. -What?
I believe you.
-No, you don't. -Miri, I'm in.
-You're what? -I'm in.
What does that... what does that mean?
-It means I'm in. - soft, gentle music
-In for the long haul. -
Rain or shine, you know.
Dead people or no dead people.
But we haven't even, like, done it yet.
Like, sexy stuff-- we haven't done that yet.
No, no, we haven't, but we will.
Or we won't, in time.
In your time. But, hey, I'm...
[Miri sniffles]
I'm in, Miri Matteson.
You won't get rid of me now.
-[crying] Why? -Gut instinct.
I think you're a good egg
who's had some bad luck.
I... I am a good egg.
-You are. -A really good egg.
-You are. -I am.
Hey. [sighs]
Shall we go sort this out?
Yes.
[Caroline] Okay, it's been
an hour now. No excretion should take this long.
-It's ludicrous. -We should check on him.
What? Well, I'm not going in there.
We have to do something, Oscar. He might be...
-dead or something. -Well, why would he be--
Because it's been an hour!
Hello?
If you're finished, might we suggest you wipe up and leave?
-Please. -"Wipe up"?
I didn't know what else to say.
Wipe up? Good God.
Uh, listen, boy, it's time to go.
Uh, shit or get off the pot.
Oh, that was much better.
Dom, get off our toilet and leave immediately,
or we're coming in.
-Oh, God. -What?
-He's slumped forward. -What?
Yeah.
-[Oscar] Christ. -He looks dead.
Well-well, you can't die from--
But-but maybe he's taken something. Drugs.
-God. -Should we call an ambulance?
One, two, three. [grunts]
-[Dom snores] -Dom.
[Oscar] Thank God.
Wake up!
-[Caroline] Dom? -[snoring]
Well, I can see what you saw in him.
-[Dom passes wind] -[Caroline laughs]
Bugger off.
-[Oscar laughs] -[Dom snores]
[Oscar and Caroline laughing]
slow, somber music
Hey, it's fine.
Everybody in this town's asleep.
-[Miri] Yeah. -Yeah.
He's gone.
Thank God.
Mr.... Uh, John?
-John? -Hey, hey.
He must be okay. Maybe it was a concussion.
Well, I-I did tell her
-to call an ambulance. -Yeah.
She probably did that.
He's probably in hospital.
-Yeah, okay. -It's good news.
-Come on. It's fine. -No.
[Billy] Stinks.
-Mandy did a wee. -Ugh.
John?
Miri, it's fine. He's not here.
[Miri sighs]
John?
slow, eerie music
[Billy] Come on.
Yeah.
[Mandy] And the three little piggies lived safe and sound,
and they all ate up the Big Bad Wolf,
and lived happily ever after.
I thought two of the piggies died.
-No, not in my version. -[TV plays quietly]
I hate the Big Bad Wolf.
[voice breaking] Me, too.
Why are you crying?
Because I love you.
And your stupid dad.
-Me? -Yeah. And
your horrible sister.
I just... I love you all.
Shut the fuck up! I can't hear the telly!
[quietly] Oh, fuck.
[cries]
[sighs]
["Talkin' Like You (Two Tall Mountains)" playing]
In between
Two tall mountains
There's a place
They call lonesome
Don't see why
They call it lonesome
I'm never lonesome
When I go there
[piano interlude playing]
See that bird sitting on my windowsill
Well, he's saying whip-poor-will
All the night through
See that brook running by my kitchen door
Well, it couldn't talk no more if it was you
Up that tree there's sort of a squirrel thing
Sounds just like we did when we were quarrelling
In the yard I keep a pig or two
They drop in for dinner like you used to do
I don't stand in the need of company
With everything I see
Talking like you
See that bird sitting on my windowsill?
Well, he's saying whip-poor-will
All the night through
Just whip-poor-will
All the night through
In between
Two tall mountains
There's a place
They call lonesome
Don't see why
They call it lonesome
I'm never lonesome
Now I live there
[water running]
[breathing heavily]
[waves rumbling]
[water lapping]
[seagulls squawking]
[waves lapping]