Previously on Back to Life...
Hi. I'm...
-"My-rie" or Miri? -It's Miri.
[receptionist] Your last visit was September 2000.
[Miri] I was in prison for 18 years.
-[slamming door echoes] -[Nathan] Everyone deserves
a second chance.
Even murderers.
[Janice] Lara Boback. Here's a tip.
If you're gonna kill someone, don't kill a copper's daughter.
-Thank you... -Mmm.
for making me feel normal.
Thank you.
It's not that easy dating when everyone thinks
-you're a psychopath. -I don't.
Why did my dad give you a black eye?
Miri?
Sweetheart...
You and Lara,
you were such good friends.
[Miri] But I did not have sex
with Mr. Boback, which I was accused of today.
Um, I think it was Mandy that was shagging him.
Mandy! Did you lie and tell her I was sleeping with her dad?
[crying] I didn't want her to hate me.
Get out of there, and I'll fucking kill you!
It was a long time ago, and...
and I'm ready, I'm ready to move on.
[sighs deeply]
[chuckles softly]
I found my crimper.
[chuckles] You look like one of them animals.
-Um, what are they called? -I love it.
-Janice. -Uh...
Yeah, right. Um...
[sniffs] Okay, six weeks out.
[Janice sighs]
How are you coping with life outside the facility?
All good. I am on it like a car bonnet.
Well, I ain't writing that down.
-Then just say "all good." -Right.
Are you currently in employment?
Well, you got me that trial at the supermarket tomorrow.
Yes, I know, Miri. This is a form, yeah?
-Christ. -Calm down.
I have not had any protein this morning, so...
-Yeah? -Okay.
[clears throat] Current living arrangement?
I won't be there much longer.
What, the palace too big for you?
Too much hot water and gold leaf?
The queen fucked my ex-boyfriend.
Oh, yeah.
Um...
do you have a good support network? No, not really.
Yes. Yeah, well, I've got... I've got friends.
Well, I've got a friend. I've got...
-There's Billy. -Billy? What, boyfriend?
No. Well, not... not yet.
So you haven't even...?
No. Please.
And what about that girl... what's her name?
Mandy?
What about her?
Have you seen her?
Since...?
No, and I don't intend to ever again.
Do you know the story about that hamster
-under the carpet? -Oh, my God,
if this is one of your dirty jokes...
No!
Guy puts his hamster under the carpet...
Why would he do that?
I don't know!
Anyway, he can't handle it,
so he puts it there, trips up, dies.
You're hangry.
Yes, I am. I need a sausage or something.
And I have not put a hamster under the carpet.
-That's what you think. -Oh, my God.
Can you just get back to the form?
Deal with it, or you're gonna fall over, yeah?
I am dealing with myself right now, okay?
Things are good. I am moving on.
Excellent. Moving on.
-Yeah. -With no best friend.
A guy you like, but you haven't even seen his cocky yet.
No real job. You don't want to live at the palace anymore,
but you still live there.
Bom. Anything else?
No, that's everything. Thank you.
And things could get worse.
-Or they could get better. -No, in my experience,
they usually get worse.
Much, much worse.
ominous music
[car door closes]
[car driving away]
[Janice] I'm so sorry, Miri.
I've just got this...
deep sense of foreboding.
It's probably just me period. [chuckles]
-You need to eat something. -Yes, you're right, I do.
But what-what is there? What have I got?
Something in here? Please let something...
Well, this is not strictly a protein,
-but I do love me some... -Don't.
Newdles.
tranquil music
[seabird squawking]
[birds chirping]
[mumbling]
Geri.
[takes deep breath]
Go away.
[man speaking indistinctly over TV]
You look nice.
Have you got a new job?
Answer your mother.
[Miri] [over cassette player] No.
This is getting silly, Miri.
[over cassette player] You slept with Dom.
-[sighs] -[cassette fast-forwards]
Your wife slept with Dom.
Oh, we can't live like this.
You haven't spoken to me in three weeks.
This is ridiculous.
We are out of detergent.
[groans]
Just talk to us!
I will be leaving this house soon.
-What? -[rapidly] It has become
increasingly clear that we can no longer cohabit,
so I shall be leaving this house as soon...
Well...
I'm gonna be earning soon, so, uh, yeah, I'll get my own place,
and then we don't have to do this anymore.
What place? She can't afford anywhere.
She's gonna go to some god-awful squat just to spite me.
She's not going anywhere.
We always knew this was temporary.
She's an adult, and we want her to have her own life.
Then we can have this whole place to ourselves again.
Just you and me...
and a well-stacked dishwasher.
plaintive music
[John] It's always there,
gently thudding in the background.
You get used to it.
I'm okay. I play golf.
Sail.
My wife and I go to church.
We exist.
And then suddenly you're hit.
Winded.
And you can't believe that you were ever okay.
It's a life sentence.
It's the rage I find the hardest.
The fury that she gets to live,
walk around,
be free.
Begin a life
when she took my little girl from me.
A life I created, she stole that.
And I want to stop her.
Halt her.
Destroy her.
You can't do that, can you?
And you can't bring the dead back to life.
Thank you for sharing, um...
[chuckles] Oh. You don't have a name badge.
[Amy] Sir?
[Phil] Killed anyone yet?
-Oh. -Do you remember me?
Oh, yeah! I am so, so, so happy that it's you. [laughs]
Angela says I'm in charge of you.
I'm your mentor/namaste.
Do you mean "nemesis"?
Yeah.
I'm Angela's eyes and ears, okay?
So it's kind of up to me if you get the job or not.
Yay.
Well done on... on the mustache,
'cause they're quite hard to grow, aren't they?
Stack that.
Aisle 13. But before you start,
could you just, um, go to the stockroom
and ask Geoff if he's got a glass hammer?
-A glass hammer? -Yeah.
Sure.
[chuckles]
[Caroline] He's always got something to do, hasn't he?
So purposeful.
My only purpose is to be the town pariah.
Don't know why I'm talking to you.
You hate me more than anyone.
I wonder if he'll notice I didn't rinse the tomato tin.
Caroline!
[women laughing]
[laughs] Yeah, like this.
I'm sorry, but do you know where the washing powder is?
-Oh, God... oh! -[laughs] It's just me.
It's me. I'm just, I'm just pretending to be a customer.
Oh.
But I do need washing powder, so if you...
Oh, I literally just started, so I don't know where it...
Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm showing you up.
I changed my mind. I don't want it anymore.
So, what-what's-what's this?
[sighs heavily] I panicked.
I wanted to look like a realistic shopper.
-[laughs] Wow. -Yeah.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah. Well, I just wanted to see you in action, that's all.
-Well, here I am. -Yeah.
Just stacking some shelves in a shop.
[both chuckle]
[sighs] Well, I just wanted to see you,
your face, so...
-Still here. -Yes, it is.
Ah. Yeah, no, no, no, it's fine.
Um, right, so I should,
-uh, let you work. -Okay. Well, yeah.
I need to impress them so that they employ me properly.
Right. Yeah.
-Yeah. -Good luck.
-Thank you. -All right.
-Thanks for saying hi. -Yeah, sure.
-Well, goodbye. -And see you.
-See you soon. -Yeah, yeah. I'll see you later.
Sandwich!
-Sandwiches. Sandw... -What?
I-I like... I haven't had a sandwich...
[stammering] And we could have sandwich at lunch,
-today at lunch? -Oh, y-yes.
Yeah, yeah, I'd love that. Yeah, yeah.
On the beach bench. We could share a sandwich.
-I could make them. -Yes?
Yes, 'cause I... I-I can. I've made them before, so...
-Oh. Okay. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, good, so I'll see you at one?
-Yes, it's a date. -Yeah, well, it's not,
because I'm... I'm newly widowed.
Oh, God, no, I didn't mean it
-in a... -I was con... I was...
-That was a j... that was a... -Okay.
-It could've been a joke. -But it's not...
-I know... -I know, yeah.
It's the truth.
What did Geoff say?
Oh, uh, Geoff.
Geoff said that, um...
glass hammers don't exist, because they would break
-if you tried to use them. -[snickers]
Yeah. [giggles]
You got me.
tranquil ambient music
[seabirds squawking]
[woman] Now imagine a peaceful scene.
-Somewhere beautiful. -[beeping]
Somewhere safe and warm.
A place where you feel relaxed and free.
[breath shudders]
Take your time to picture the details of the scene
using all your senses.
Close your eyes and take a moment
to settle into your environment.
Into your body,
into your breath.
Can you hear the birds singing?
[seabirds squawking in distance]
The waves slapping gently on the shore?
-[Billy] Brr... -[Miri laughs]
[Miri] In my head, it wasn't quite this freezing.
-[Billy] Yeah. -Lovely sandwich, though.
-Mmm. -Thank you.
We didn't have many sandwiches in prison.
Really?
Oh.
Well, you'd think they'd be everywhere.
-Yeah. No, I know, but... -No?
[chuckles] No. No.
Oh. Look.
For you.
-Oh, my God. -Yeah, I found it packing.
No. Billy!
It's old, but it does the job.
And it means that we can, um... stay in touch,
-if you like. -Ah. [laughs]
-Thank you. -Yeah, yeah.
-Does it have Snake on it? -Yes, it does.
[gasps] Oh!
Mandy and I used to have these competitions.
-Yeah. -And I'd always...
Yeah.
Ugh. Anyway. [clears throat]
[takes deep breath]
-You okay? -Yes. Yeah, I'm fine.
Is it the sandwiches? Too... too gloopy?
No, they're lovely. [stammers] It's all lovely.
Everything's lovely.
Hmm.
You know, Anna always used to say,
"Never hold it in; let it out.
Otherwise it turns to poison."
She would just...
fling open the bedroom windows and roar it to the night sky.
Miri, if there's something bothering you...
Nothing is bothering me. It's just...
Can you just drop it? Please.
I'm sorry.
No. No, I mean, it's...
it's fine.
I've got gardens to do, anyway.
Catch you later.
Mandy?
-[knocking] -Mandy!
-I need Mandy. -She's at school.
No, I went to school. They said she was at home.
She went to school, but they said you were at home!
[Mandy] Fuck's sake, Mark!
Shit.
I-I think she's at school.
-Mandy! -Tell her to go away!
Go away.
-I forgive you! -I forgive you!
No, you don't.
-No, you don't. -Yes, I do!
Look, you have ruined the last 18 years of my life,
and I'm not gonna let you fuck up the rest,
so I forgive you!
[Mandy] Look, of course you don't! Shut the door, Mark!
Don't you...
Just... no.
[Miri yells]
How dare you! I just forgave you!
That is so rude,
Mandy Munther!
What a rude woman you are.
Sorry.
[phone rings]
Yes?
I dealt with the hamster.
-What? -I just forgave Mandy,
and she had the balls to not accept it.
[laughs]
An alpaca. You look like an alpaca.
Excuse me, but that is pretty extraordinary of me.
It shows great strength
-of character. -Oh, my God,
why can't you get a therapist?
I don't need a therapist.
I do.
Look, you didn't mean it, and she smelt it.
-Ugh! -If you're gonna forgive her,
then you've got to do it... you've got
to Michelle Obama her good and proper.
Rise above.
Or stay angry forever. It's your bed.
Her lie has fucked up my entire life,
so I'm sorry if I can't Michelle Obama her.
Where was Michelle Obama when I wanted someone
to Michelle Obama me? Probably in America.
And anyway, it's none of your business.
It literally is my business.
Think about it.
Your mate got manipulated by a bent copper when she was 17.
Now, 90% of the women that I deal with
have been fucked up by men.
And these men, they get away with it.
Honest to God,
if I didn't love cocky so much,
I would not have sex with men, just to punish them.
Janice!
This is a quality poom poom, Miri.
Fucking hell.
Uh, sit down.
Sit.
[slams cassette player down]
When you load a dishwasher,
it is of utmost importance
that you maximize the capacity.
A plate at an angle uses up
three places.
-Not now, Dad, please. -Whilst you're still living
in this house, you need to live by our rules.
And it is our responsibility to the planet
-to load it properly. -Oh, man in Hythe
is stacking his dishwasher correctly.
It's going to un-melt the Arctic.
Oh, Miri Matteson, you're worse than a teenager.
-You're the terrible twos! -Oscar.
Oh, I've had enough!
We understand that you're angry, but it's been...
I'm not like you, Dad.
I can't just pretend nothing happened.
What is wrong with you?
I'm not pretending.
I'm moving forward.
-Well, it's really weird. -Your mother and I
cannot continue to live in such a hostile environment.
-Me, neither. -Good.
-Good.
Hey, you spoke of second chances and everyone making mistakes.
Well, maybe you should listen to yourself
and stop being such a sulky twat!
Twat?
Wh-What is a twat?
contemplative music
[Billy] Hi, it's Billy. Please leave a message.
[electronic chiming]
[exhales]
[seabirds squawking]
I thought it was a trendy word for "idiot."
I had no idea it was gynecological.
Are we okay?
Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?
Well, I...
We're marvelous.
Everything is marvelous.
Talking of gynecological...
Uh, but Miri's right.
One man and his dishwasher does not a movement make.
-We need community action. -What?
There are no local environmental groups in this town.
Not one.
It's pathetic.
Social media, here I come.
upbeat music
Right, I'm gonna have a shower,
then I'm gonna design my logo, "Make Hythe Clean."
What are you gonna do?
Oh, busy. Busy.
[shower running]
lighthearted, percussive music
-[Oscar] Aah! -Oh, sorry.
-Didn't mean to frighten you. -Caroline, what are you doing?
[Caroline] We have the house to ourselves.
-We can do whatever we want. -But there's soap on my...
-[Caroline] Doesn't matter. -Oh...
[chuckles] How do we do it? I-I'm standing up.
[Caroline] Like this.
-Ow! -Caroline, what?
[Caroline] My vagina!
[Phil] [over P.A.] Miri Matteson to aisle four.
-Miri Matteson to aisle four. -Oh, fuck's sake.
[gasps]
[breath trembling]
I need to ask you something.
[stammers]
Was my husband...
with Mandy?
I think that...
Was he?
Yes.
Okay.
He had me put on Valium.
I was mad, apparently.
[quietly] Christ.
Please don't think that me...
existing is me forgetting...
what I did.
I have hated you for so long.
Despised you.
[quietly] Of course.
But I can't do that anymore.
We all owe it to Lara
to finally live our lives.
I've left him.
I was never here. Do you understand?
Yes.
[sighs]
Whoa. You're leaving before your shift's up?
Not good for trial week. Angela's gonna hate that.
-Okay, do you want to do this? -What?
Because I'm not doing it yet, but I can start.
Ooh. I'm scared.
I am adept at dealing with conflict in a confined space.
I did it for 18 years when I was in prison for murder.
So if you want me to be your enemy,
then I can start now.
-Do you want that? -No.
Okay, so what are you gonna say to Angela?
Just that you were focused and punctual,
and you never left early.
Good. See you soon, you stupid little cunt.
Seen better 'taches in prison, by the way.
Women's prison.
It's ovarian cancer.
Or stomach.
And I'm gonna die.
Let's not jump to conclusions.
At least chemotherapy will give me somewhere to be once a week.
-Caroline. -[doctor] Mrs. Matteson?
So, it looks like your chlamydia
was left untreated for too long,
and you've developed pelvic inflammatory disease.
So she's not dying?
No. But you do need to take it easy.
-Especially at your age. -Sorry?
You need to take antibiotics and refrain from intercourse.
We will do that, Doctor. Uh, thank you.
[exhales sharply]
Well, at least your twat's okay.
-Oh. -It just needs a rest.
We can watch more documentaries.
[crying] No.
Or something else.
Caroline, you should be happy.
That's it now.
That's what we're doing.
Waiting to die.
No, we're not. We're together.
What do you want?
I don't know.
Fuck you, Caroline!
I gave you everything.
And I forgave you everything.
What, what more do you want from me?
Hi. Is Mandy here?
Uh, n-no, no, she's not.
You are a terrible liar, Mark.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey! -No! No! Mandy!
I saw Lara's mum.
She wasn't with him, but she-she knows.
-Oh, Christ. -No. No.
We are doing this.
Okay, you're right.
I don't forgive you.
[voice trembling] I can't.
I probably can't, because...
because I don't know how to.
-I understand. -Because what you did...
[crying] I know, I know.
But we have to work it out.
For Lara.
We can't waste any more time.
And I-I can't waste any more of my life.
And also, I need somewhere to stay
before I kill my fucking parents.
God, yeah, of c-course. Whatever you need.
[screaming]
[panting] Oh, right.
Oh, God, sorry.
Oh, I misjudged the situation.
I thought that she was going to, um...
-No! -Fucking hell, Mark.
Can I just say that you really took your time.
-Yeah, yeah. -'Cause if I had been coming
-up here to... -Yeah. Yeah.
Sorry, yeah, I, uh... I was a bit nervous,
and it was my first time,
and I didn't know what to use as a, uh...
as a weapon.
So you chose a waffle maker?
-I panicked. -Right, Mark.
-Make up the spare room. -Oh? Who for?
[panting]
Her? Really? Fuck. Okay.
Really?
-Yeah. -Okay, okay, okay.
[sighs] Yeah. Um...
Like your hair.
Thanks.
You look just like a mermaid.
[whispers] Yes.
[squawking]
tranquil ambient music
[door creaks]
[beeping]
[female automated voice] You have one new message.
[Janice] Apparently, that little shit Phil
told Angela you were focused and punctual.
[chuckles] Gave you a real rave.
So congratulations, the job is yours.
[sighs]
[woman] Lie back and let all thoughts
of the outside world float away.
Close your eyes
and gently focus on your breath.
And now breathe in.
And then out.
-[inhales] -In.
And slowly out.
[exhales]
[inhales]
With each out breath,
let all your fears and worries ebb away.
You are warm.
You are safe.
This is your safe space.
"Feeling" by Ben Cocks