1
00:00:14,617 --> 00:00:17,449
- What is it? What's going on?
- The pigeon's back! It's alive!

2
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:19,335
- Where?
- Up there.

3
00:00:20,196 --> 00:00:21,469
I can't see anything.

4
00:00:23,329 --> 00:00:24,540
Oh, great...

5
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,032
- Oh, it must be a ghost.
- How many times, Kitty?

6
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,607
- Sleep in your own room.
- I prefer it here.

7
00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:31,786
Aren't you late for work?

8
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,140
Mike, we're late for work!

9
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,020
Get out!

10
00:00:53,831 --> 00:00:58,431
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com

11
00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:00,240
Bum.

12
00:01:01,506 --> 00:01:03,838
- Right.
- Bum,

13
00:01:03,899 --> 00:01:07,598
or neck, or leg, but first choice, bum.

14
00:01:07,659 --> 00:01:10,288
- Is it cooked?
- Of course, I'm not an animal.

15
00:01:10,349 --> 00:01:12,100
- Could've fooled me.
- Hey, you want some?!

16
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,960
All right, all right.

17
00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:19,764
So, Robin misses eating bum.

18
00:01:19,825 --> 00:01:22,034
- Of...
- Oh, any bum.

19
00:01:22,479 --> 00:01:24,230
Rump steak, why not?

20
00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:26,610
- If I may, Patrick...
- Well, we haven't actually finished yet...

21
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:30,114
Good. Now, I can't be the only one
who is sick of the noise

22
00:01:30,175 --> 00:01:31,940
- night after night.
- Oh, not this again...

23
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,762
No, I am not talking about you, Fanny.

24
00:01:33,823 --> 00:01:36,769
I am talking about Alison
and Michael banging.

25
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,029
All evening!

26
00:01:38,090 --> 00:01:41,420
Banging, hammering,
drilling, it's intolerable!

27
00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:43,620
They've been forced to get jobs in the day.

28
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,641
Now it's time to force
them out in the night.

29
00:01:45,702 --> 00:01:49,032
- But then they'd be gone.
- Exactly.

30
00:01:51,629 --> 00:01:54,189
Bye, guys!
Have one for me.

31
00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:03,984
We've got some more free gooseberries.

32
00:02:08,285 --> 00:02:10,320
Now we're going to the pub.

33
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:15,989
They're going to sit in a nice pub
and drink four pints, probably.

34
00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:18,378
Oh, my God.
That sounds nice.

35
00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:21,291
And we've got to go home and strip 26 doors.

36
00:02:21,352 --> 00:02:22,779
27.

37
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,880
- And the skirting boards.
- Ah!

38
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,340
- I miss pints.
- I miss pints.

39
00:02:30,708 --> 00:02:34,183
They're broken, in retreat,
out of their depth!

40
00:02:34,244 --> 00:02:36,358
I believe it's time for one last push.

41
00:02:36,419 --> 00:02:39,280
Strike while they're weak.
Get them out for ever.

42
00:02:40,197 --> 00:02:41,535
I don't want to!

43
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,073
- What?
- I like them!

44
00:02:43,134 --> 00:02:45,403
I like Alison, and I miss
her when she's not here.

45
00:02:45,464 --> 00:02:47,912
- So much.
- You're too soft. You like everyone.

46
00:02:47,973 --> 00:02:49,380
Well, I don't like you!

47
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,722
Bossing everyone around all the long day!

48
00:02:51,783 --> 00:02:53,756
Since they've arrived,
you've become worse and worse

49
00:02:53,816 --> 00:02:56,973
- and I've had enough, to be actually honest!
- Amen!

50
00:02:57,034 --> 00:02:59,431
Well, I haven't heard anybody else
complain about my leadership.

51
00:02:59,491 --> 00:03:02,654
- Leadership? You're not the leader!
- Yes, I am!

52
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:04,991
- I'm ranking officer.
- Well, we're not soldiers.

53
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,182
Yeah, this isn't the Army...

54
00:03:07,243 --> 00:03:08,443
Sir.

55
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,857
Oh, I see what this is.
It's a coup, isn't it?

56
00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:15,860
A bloodless coup! What, is it you, Julian?
Taking over?

57
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:19,583
If one were called upon to govern,
by the will of the people,

58
00:03:19,644 --> 00:03:22,999
- one would be honoured.
- No-one has to be in charge.

59
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,456
- I agree. Pat should be in charge.
- No, that wasn't what I said.

60
00:03:26,517 --> 00:03:29,188
No, it's fine.
I'll leave.

61
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,319
But you'll see.

62
00:03:32,523 --> 00:03:36,014
When there's a crisis, you'll need me,
when the chips are down.

63
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,471
Bum chips!

64
00:03:39,813 --> 00:03:41,263
Bum and chips.

65
00:03:41,324 --> 00:03:44,416
OK.
Which brings us back to food club.

66
00:03:44,469 --> 00:03:47,851
Now, Julian would like
to talk a bit about fondue.

67
00:03:48,169 --> 00:03:49,477
Fondue.

68
00:03:49,844 --> 00:03:52,940
Well, it's Swiss, I think.
Very interesting, very fun.

69
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,291
In fact, sometimes I call it fundue.

70
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:57,709
They're home!

71
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:01,957
Essentially, it's melted cheese
with little bits of bread.

72
00:04:02,582 --> 00:04:04,302
Bread and cheese?

73
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,660
Sorry, Humphrey!

74
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,493
No, no, it happens.

75
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:11,874
Don't worry about it.

76
00:04:11,935 --> 00:04:13,864
Alison!
Alison!

77
00:04:16,741 --> 00:04:17,941
Oh.

78
00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:21,019
You're not Alison.

79
00:04:24,127 --> 00:04:26,572
We concentrate on the windows
this week and then we can start

80
00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:28,166
on the sandblasting.

81
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,557
Who's that?

82
00:04:29,857 --> 00:04:31,057
Mike?

83
00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:34,069
- Mike!
- Lager top, please.

84
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,537
Who is that?

85
00:04:38,389 --> 00:04:41,794
- Sorry. Can we help you?
- No, thank you. You get on.

86
00:04:45,908 --> 00:04:48,328
- We're not in at the moment.
- Excuse me?

87
00:04:48,677 --> 00:04:50,795
You don't need to ring
the doorbell, we're here.

88
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:53,496
Oh!

89
00:04:53,557 --> 00:04:57,261
I'm such a silly pillock!
I thought you were the groundsman!

90
00:04:57,322 --> 00:04:59,597
Well... We're everything.
We're the everything men.

91
00:04:59,658 --> 00:05:03,286
Yes, it doesn't look like a lot
of gardening's gone on around here.

92
00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:06,822
I'm Fiona, Harrington Hotels.

93
00:05:06,883 --> 00:05:08,140
- Alison.
- Mike.

94
00:05:08,201 --> 00:05:10,020
Now, I'm not going to beat
about the proverbial,

95
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,446
we have been looking
at this property for a long time.

96
00:05:12,638 --> 00:05:15,194
And when we heard that the owner
had finally passed away,

97
00:05:15,255 --> 00:05:18,427
sadly,
we had thought it would hit the market.

98
00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:21,050
But rumour has it that you two
are a couple of

99
00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:23,450
budding hoteliers yourselves.

100
00:05:23,511 --> 00:05:26,644
So you can tell me to get the hell
off of your property, if you'd like.

101
00:05:26,705 --> 00:05:30,049
But would it interest you to talk
about selling the place?

102
00:05:30,884 --> 00:05:34,087
Well, I mean, it couldn't hurt
to talk a little bit.

103
00:05:34,148 --> 00:05:36,380
Couldn't hurt at all.
What's the opposite of hurt? Pleasure.

104
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,280
- It would pleasure me to talk about it.
- Yeah.

105
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,380
No, no.
You're missing the point.

106
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,522
It's perfectly absurd to dip
individual pieces of bread

107
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,022
when one can hold a full slice in one's hand!

108
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:55,027
It's not about the cheese!
It's about the fun!

109
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,938
Right, so if you drop a piece of bread,

110
00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:59,058
you have to do a saucy forfeit.

111
00:05:59,119 --> 00:06:00,973
That's when it gets very interesting.

112
00:06:01,034 --> 00:06:03,977
There's the lucky dip.
That's a good one.

113
00:06:04,038 --> 00:06:06,780
And then there's the Swiss roll,
first you remove your...

114
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:08,836
Everyone, everyone, everyone!
Come quick!

115
00:06:08,897 --> 00:06:12,483
There's a lady downstairs with red
hair and she wants to buy the house!

116
00:06:17,843 --> 00:06:19,567
Shh!
Guys, I don't know.

117
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:25,409
Sorry.

118
00:06:27,410 --> 00:06:29,276
- Gooseberry?
- No, thank you.

119
00:06:29,337 --> 00:06:30,411
Maybe later.

120
00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:33,893
- So when is the work going to start?
- It has.

121
00:06:34,424 --> 00:06:35,890
Oh, of course it has.

122
00:06:35,951 --> 00:06:39,300
- So when do you expect to open?
- Oh, she is a spunky one!

123
00:06:39,361 --> 00:06:40,589
Straight down to business!

124
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,897
Well, we've had a few setbacks,
to be honest.

125
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,188
Just a few?

126
00:06:44,249 --> 00:06:46,210
We spent all our loans
on drainage and the roof.

127
00:06:46,270 --> 00:06:48,300
But we've been doing
the renovations ourselves,

128
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,418
so that's free.

129
00:06:49,479 --> 00:06:51,583
- Apart from materials.
- Apart from materials.

130
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,912
Well, you must be exhausted,
you poor little dumplings.

131
00:06:53,972 --> 00:06:56,180
So we thought when we get the first
couple of rooms finished, someone

132
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,515
then we'll open it like that
while we do the rest.

133
00:06:57,575 --> 00:06:59,652
I see.
How many staff?

134
00:07:00,065 --> 00:07:01,265
Two.

135
00:07:01,909 --> 00:07:03,277
Oh, like a B&B.

136
00:07:04,105 --> 00:07:05,756
At first.

137
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,103
Aww.

138
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,540
Well, it sounds like you really
are doing your best.

139
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,861
Of course, Harrington Hotels

140
00:07:11,922 --> 00:07:14,426
has the finance to use
a vast team of contractors,

141
00:07:14,487 --> 00:07:16,178
get the renovations done within the year.

142
00:07:16,238 --> 00:07:17,203
Within the year?

143
00:07:17,264 --> 00:07:19,364
And of course, as you know,
there's the start-up costs,

144
00:07:19,424 --> 00:07:23,338
the staff, the services, the marketing,
the big opening event, blah, blah, blah.

145
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:26,500
We can afford the short-term loss
for the long term gain.

146
00:07:26,722 --> 00:07:27,922
- Of course.
- Yeah.

147
00:07:27,983 --> 00:07:30,745
And we'd be willing to make
you a generous offer.

148
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,025
Now, this ought to be a large sum.

149
00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:38,606
This house is worth at least £1,000.

150
00:07:41,824 --> 00:07:43,176
Heavens above!

151
00:07:43,237 --> 00:07:46,322
- Oh, the big boys are in town!
- Shillings!

152
00:07:48,078 --> 00:07:50,450
Is that the sort of amount
you were thinking of?

153
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,743
Yes, please.

154
00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,467
It does look like a lot
when it's written down.

155
00:07:54,527 --> 00:07:56,460
Subject to survey, of course.

156
00:07:56,521 --> 00:07:58,467
Shall we take
a look around the rest of the house?

157
00:07:58,527 --> 00:08:00,307
Yeah, please, yeah, follow us.

158
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,622
- My God!
- Does this mean they're leaving?

159
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,664
Yep.
Taking the money and running.

160
00:08:05,725 --> 00:08:10,220
And worse, you heard the lady, this place
will be a hotel before you can say...

161
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,540
- Hotel.
- Hotel. Oh, no, I said it!

162
00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:14,726
Common room.
Now!

163
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,311
If everyone can make it, and wants to.

164
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:26,075
Excuse me!

165
00:08:27,099 --> 00:08:28,013
Yeah...
No.

166
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,918
I don't suppose you could move me
away from his large hole?

167
00:08:30,979 --> 00:08:32,926
Who's that lady with Michael and Alison?

168
00:08:32,987 --> 00:08:34,911
- Didn't the others tell you?
- No.

169
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,647
We are having a little break
from each other, actually.

170
00:08:37,708 --> 00:08:40,973
Oh, yeah? Got sick of you being a
bit of a prat, did they?

171
00:08:41,034 --> 00:08:44,241
No. Absolutely not!
It was the other way around, if anything.

172
00:08:44,302 --> 00:08:45,352
Now, come on.
Who is she?

173
00:08:45,413 --> 00:08:47,885
Well, apparently, she's buying the house.

174
00:08:47,946 --> 00:08:50,460
So are you going to move me away from the...

175
00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,774
You're not there any more, are you?

176
00:08:53,982 --> 00:08:55,182
Yeah, he's gone.

177
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,699
Guys, guys!
Listen up!

178
00:09:09,476 --> 00:09:11,289
We need to think of a plan!

179
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,510
Oh, he sounds like the captain!

180
00:09:15,262 --> 00:09:17,306
No, Captain would be more like,

181
00:09:17,863 --> 00:09:19,651
"Fall in!
Take charge!"

182
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,220
Right, pipe down, everyone!

183
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,254
Quite enough of me being
a smelly old walrus!

184
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:33,720
I'm going to boss everybody about
and never think of anything myself!

185
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,646
OK, guys, OK.
Let's get to it.

186
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,915
If that's all right with everyone?

187
00:09:42,976 --> 00:09:47,371
We just need to give them clear,
calm reasons not to sell.

188
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,300
She's a witch, and I should know!

189
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,100
Well, it's a big decision
and you need time to think about it.

190
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,109
So, any questions, just give me a tinkle.

191
00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:03,508
I mean, I think, yes.

192
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:06,065
- No!
- Yes! Done.

193
00:10:08,978 --> 00:10:12,486
Great! So, I'll set the wheels in
motion, get surveyors booked in,

194
00:10:12,547 --> 00:10:14,920
and we'll take it from there.
OK?

195
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,769
Sorry, I'm going to have to get this.

196
00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:19,024
- Speak soon.
- Don't forget your gooseberries.

197
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:20,541
Oh.

198
00:10:22,548 --> 00:10:23,748
Thank you.

199
00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:29,211
It's in the bag. They haven't got a
clue what they're doing.

200
00:10:29,272 --> 00:10:33,002
They practically ripped my arm off.
Yeah, yeah, we can get this for a steal.

201
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,420
Enough, enough, enough, OK?!

202
00:10:41,481 --> 00:10:45,185
We tried, we really did, but we
can't afford to do this any more.

203
00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:47,248
- You need money?
- Mm-hm.

204
00:10:47,309 --> 00:10:50,573
Right.
Powwow, upstairs, now-wow.

205
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,686
I will find you means
if it's the last thing I do.

206
00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:59,936
OK, they're gone.

207
00:10:59,997 --> 00:11:02,457
- So they want us to stay now?
- Yeah.

208
00:11:02,986 --> 00:11:05,034
No, I know, I don't understand them either.

209
00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:07,315
But they're not going
to be our problem soon.

210
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,409
We can find an un-haunted house to live in.

211
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:12,402
- Let's not get ahead of ourselves there.
- Yeah, no, we should wait until it's official

212
00:11:12,462 --> 00:11:14,332
before we start looking at houses.

213
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:17,122
Sorry I'm late.

214
00:11:17,183 --> 00:11:19,525
- Oh, I remember you guys.
- Yeah.

215
00:11:19,741 --> 00:11:23,030
- Wow, your budget's changed.
- Well, my great auntie died.

216
00:11:23,091 --> 00:11:25,991
- I'm really sorry to hear that.
- No, it's fine. I never met her.

217
00:11:26,482 --> 00:11:27,682
Right.

218
00:11:28,405 --> 00:11:30,764
I mean, the front terrace
really sells this place.

219
00:11:30,873 --> 00:11:32,078
So impressive.

220
00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:35,291
It was renovated by an architect who
lived here first, I believe, in the '60s.

221
00:11:35,351 --> 00:11:36,909
Let's take a look inside, shall we?

222
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,098
No.

223
00:11:40,159 --> 00:11:41,975
- Sorry?
- No.

224
00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:48,382
I'm just not really feeling this one.

225
00:11:49,678 --> 00:11:51,576
- Sure you don't want to see inside?
- No.

226
00:11:52,617 --> 00:11:55,137
She's very instinctive.
Goes with her gut.

227
00:12:06,552 --> 00:12:11,526
I know, put the house on wheels,
or a cart, move it to pastures new.

228
00:12:11,587 --> 00:12:14,849
Then the hair lady can build
the hotel in its place,

229
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:17,753
and ours the house forever will be.

230
00:12:18,366 --> 00:12:19,594
OK.

231
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:22,944
Well, it's not OK, is it?
You can't put a house on wheels.

232
00:12:23,005 --> 00:12:25,405
No, it all comes down to money, right?

233
00:12:25,466 --> 00:12:27,580
So if they can find their own investors...

234
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,480
Me no want hotel.

235
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,407
With respect, Robin, hear me out.

236
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:36,432
It doesn't have to be a hotel
if there are investors.

237
00:12:36,493 --> 00:12:38,850
It's very clever, you see.
You tell them they've invested

238
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:41,007
in offshore high-yields, all right?

239
00:12:41,068 --> 00:12:44,476
And then the profits they receive
are just funds from other investors

240
00:12:44,537 --> 00:12:47,191
- and so on and so forth.
- Sounds a bit like fraud, mate.

241
00:12:47,252 --> 00:12:52,247
Yes, sure, Pat. But sometimes you have to
bend the rules in order to make them...

242
00:12:52,308 --> 00:12:55,180
make you some money, so...

243
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,978
- We sell cakes!
- We can't make cakes.

244
00:12:58,039 --> 00:13:00,478
- Buns, then!
- That's not the issue, Kitty.

245
00:13:01,193 --> 00:13:02,757
I have it!

246
00:13:02,818 --> 00:13:06,720
I shall ghost-write a novel,
in Alison's name!

247
00:13:06,781 --> 00:13:10,911
A modern bestseller,
the most erotic fiction of the year.

248
00:13:10,972 --> 00:13:14,280
- Oh, no.
- Michelle was driving a car...

249
00:13:14,341 --> 00:13:15,396
Oh, good Lord...

250
00:13:15,457 --> 00:13:19,197
Nathaniel was sitting handsomely
in the adjoining seat,

251
00:13:19,871 --> 00:13:22,584
he leans over and kisses her nape.

252
00:13:22,645 --> 00:13:24,939
"Be careful," she warns breathlessly,

253
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,268
"I'm trying to drive a car!"
- Yes.

254
00:13:27,329 --> 00:13:30,826
- Someone take this down! Quick, quick, quick!
- Michelle drive car.

255
00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:33,660
Nathaniel look nice in next chair...

256
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,718
and then they do it.

257
00:13:37,765 --> 00:13:39,040
I'd buy that.

258
00:13:39,101 --> 00:13:41,308
Where was I?
Nathaniel caresses her...

259
00:13:41,668 --> 00:13:45,128
OK, so, here we are.
The penthouse.

260
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:48,060
Nice to be up high.
Away from it all.

261
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,558
Indeed.
OK, then.

262
00:13:50,738 --> 00:13:53,014
First thing I'm going to show you,
because let's face it,

263
00:13:53,074 --> 00:13:55,980
that's why we're up here.
The view.

264
00:13:58,025 --> 00:13:59,489
You've got to be joking.

265
00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:01,527
I know, stunning, isn't it?

266
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,020
And a balcony there,
if you're into gardening.

267
00:14:05,129 --> 00:14:07,961
And even if you don't,
you could barbecue there.

268
00:14:08,022 --> 00:14:10,340
And it's south facing, so, you know,
when the sun's out you can...

269
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,800
Hello.

270
00:14:12,305 --> 00:14:13,860
Hello!

271
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,632
Hello!

272
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,983
I just remembered, I don't like heights.

273
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,664
It's not for me, thanks.

274
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,400
Nein, nein!

275
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,215
Harbingers of doom.

276
00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:37,306
We are running out of time.

277
00:14:38,152 --> 00:14:41,610
We'll think of something.
We have to.

278
00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:47,014
Now, then, you might not like it,
but we must have order,

279
00:14:47,075 --> 00:14:49,277
direction, leadership.

280
00:14:49,338 --> 00:14:50,496
Yes, what is it?

281
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:51,955
- Nigel.
- Nigel.

282
00:14:51,956 --> 00:14:55,000
- Um, why are you here?
- Good question.

283
00:14:57,371 --> 00:14:58,861
I'm here to help.

284
00:14:58,922 --> 00:15:00,660
You clearly need leadership.

285
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:04,393
Ramshackle bunch, moping about down here
all day, feeling sorry for yourselves.

286
00:15:04,453 --> 00:15:08,489
Now, look, I can lead you upstairs,
get you new quarters.

287
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:10,348
There is no reason why
we shouldn't be enjoying

288
00:15:10,408 --> 00:15:13,353
the whole house together.
We'll show them.

289
00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:16,123
- I don't think we'll be doing that.
- No.

290
00:15:16,184 --> 00:15:18,657
What is it?
Are you stuck down here or something?

291
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,020
No, we just don't really
like going up there.

292
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,100
- Not bothered.
- The smell...

293
00:15:23,413 --> 00:15:25,662
Do you not get tired of one another?

294
00:15:25,723 --> 00:15:27,980
Well, we do.

295
00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:30,672
I mean, sure, we do fall
out from time to time,

296
00:15:30,733 --> 00:15:33,744
but it's never lasted
longer than 20-25 years.

297
00:15:33,805 --> 00:15:35,080
Exactly.

298
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:38,140
The thing is, Captain, this is our home.

299
00:15:38,201 --> 00:15:40,517
You know, we were thrown
in here together, and I suppose

300
00:15:40,577 --> 00:15:43,057
we belong together at the end of the day.

301
00:15:43,422 --> 00:15:47,237
Yeah, it might be a plague pit,
but it's our plague pit, isn't it?

302
00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:49,634
I see.
Yes.

303
00:15:51,662 --> 00:15:52,862
Oh!

304
00:15:53,997 --> 00:15:55,329
Carry on.

305
00:15:55,845 --> 00:15:59,356
- And we've seen some amazing places.
- Not a bull's-eye yet, but we'll get there.

306
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:03,115
Yeah. Now, your business plan
indicated 18 guest rooms, didn't it?

307
00:16:03,176 --> 00:16:05,498
- Mmm.
- Oh, yeah, the business plan, yeah.

308
00:16:05,559 --> 00:16:07,354
Ah, well, I'm immediately realising

309
00:16:07,415 --> 00:16:10,229
we can't accommodate that many rooms.
I'm such a silly duck.

310
00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:12,634
A lot of space needed for facilities, spa,

311
00:16:12,695 --> 00:16:16,477
swimming pool, etc, so I think my valuation

312
00:16:16,538 --> 00:16:18,580
might have been a teensy bit premature.

313
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,833
- My fault entirely.
- Right.

314
00:16:20,894 --> 00:16:23,994
We'll see what it comes to once we get a clear
picture from these chaps, shall we? Great.

315
00:16:24,054 --> 00:16:27,206
- Sorry, does that mean...
- Ciao. Oh, hello, Gerald. Yeah.

316
00:16:28,629 --> 00:16:31,223
Yes.
She's wily one.

317
00:16:31,587 --> 00:16:32,847
Great.

318
00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:37,821
So it's a way of listening
to music on the go.

319
00:16:37,882 --> 00:16:41,153
Only instead of just one album,
the multi-deck,

320
00:16:41,214 --> 00:16:45,260
housed in the knapsack,
can play a selection from four albums.

321
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,580
It's almost 50 songs.
I mean, imagine that.

322
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:49,944
It already exists.

323
00:16:50,153 --> 00:16:51,549
As if!

324
00:16:52,048 --> 00:16:53,248
Does it?

325
00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:56,517
Why have we abandoned my novel?

326
00:16:57,529 --> 00:17:00,140
What are you saying, you smelly ape?

327
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,053
International Centre Of Excellence In Chess.

328
00:17:04,114 --> 00:17:06,058
A lot of money in chess.
Lot of money.

329
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,978
Yeah. It may take some time, Robin.
We need dough now.

330
00:17:10,661 --> 00:17:13,378
Oh, let's find some buried treasure.

331
00:17:13,948 --> 00:17:16,000
First, we need to know where to look.

332
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,526
Oh, let's find a treasure map!

333
00:17:20,399 --> 00:17:21,599
Of course.

334
00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,442
I know just the thing.

335
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:35,594
- Hmm.
- She's got a thing about storage.

336
00:17:38,454 --> 00:17:41,250
And there's no other nooks and crannies?

337
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:44,291
- Hiding places?
- No, this is it.

338
00:17:44,352 --> 00:17:46,802
I've got places with more character,
but you said you only wanted new build.

339
00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:48,985
- Can we have a moment?
- Sure.

340
00:17:52,006 --> 00:17:53,274
Nothing?

341
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,201
All clear.

342
00:17:55,452 --> 00:17:57,185
Not a ghost in sight.

343
00:17:57,732 --> 00:17:59,558
- It's a really nice house.
- Yeah.

344
00:17:59,619 --> 00:18:01,405
- Nice garden.
- Yeah.

345
00:18:02,530 --> 00:18:04,528
It's the sort we wanted
in the first place, wasn't it?

346
00:18:04,588 --> 00:18:07,799
- Mmm.
- Nice, normal house.

347
00:18:11,729 --> 00:18:14,809
- It's quiet, isn't it?
- Mmm.

348
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:28,257
They're all waiting for me.

349
00:18:28,727 --> 00:18:31,391
Well, you won't have to put up
with it for much longer.

350
00:18:34,482 --> 00:18:36,280
All right, all right, all right.

351
00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:38,807
Are they with you?

352
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,174
- Yeah.
- Right.

353
00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:41,993
Well, I'm going to have a bath.

354
00:18:48,511 --> 00:18:53,432
Now, if I remember rightly,
it is behind that chest,

355
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,431
under the last board.

356
00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:09,185
What, you want me to lift up the floorboard?

357
00:19:09,376 --> 00:19:13,233
Before you do,
I would like to say something.

358
00:19:15,838 --> 00:19:17,058
OK.

359
00:19:18,155 --> 00:19:22,457
When you first came here,
I thought you were a prostitute.

360
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,780
I did.
I can admit that now,

361
00:19:24,841 --> 00:19:27,511
and whilst I still find it
utterly impossible

362
00:19:27,572 --> 00:19:30,252
to believe I'm related to such a...

363
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,540
The fact is, you are a Button.

364
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:37,222
Of sorts.
Half a Button.

365
00:19:37,283 --> 00:19:40,471
And this house, our beautiful house,

366
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,449
should belong to a Button.

367
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,334
Should be cared for by a Button.

368
00:19:47,581 --> 00:19:50,440
Underneath that board, is a box,

369
00:19:50,663 --> 00:19:52,294
and in that box,

370
00:19:52,355 --> 00:19:56,632
is a jewel,
an Arabic jewel given to my husband

371
00:19:56,693 --> 00:19:59,361
by Queen Empress Alexandra herself.

372
00:20:00,177 --> 00:20:02,681
I am quite sure it is priceless.

373
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:21,549
If that jewel can keep this house a home,

374
00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:23,180
a family home,

375
00:20:24,142 --> 00:20:25,377
then it is yours.

376
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:28,739
Thank you.

377
00:20:29,175 --> 00:20:31,651
That's...
I don't know what to say.

378
00:20:31,712 --> 00:20:35,121
Well, I mean, it is yours now anyway.
I can't physically stop you.

379
00:20:35,182 --> 00:20:36,502
Open it!

380
00:20:48,339 --> 00:20:50,344
"Sorry, darling. Pawned it."

381
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:58,491
Look, guys. No offence,
but it wasn't just about the money.

382
00:20:58,552 --> 00:21:00,472
This isn't how normal people live.

383
00:21:00,533 --> 00:21:02,380
- We can change.
- Please, just stay.

384
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,145
I promise I won't come
into your bedroom every morning.

385
00:21:05,206 --> 00:21:06,636
We'll be on our best behaviour.

386
00:21:06,697 --> 00:21:09,270
And I will try to stop
judging your awful manners,

387
00:21:09,331 --> 00:21:12,486
- terrible posture, and...
- I shall cease my wooing, should you like.

388
00:21:12,547 --> 00:21:13,723
I still make you jump.

389
00:21:13,784 --> 00:21:16,807
I shall peek no more
on your husband at privy.

390
00:21:17,164 --> 00:21:20,606
And I'll...
Actually, I don't do anything wrong, do I?

391
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:24,620
Guys, please.
This is sweet of you, but I'm sorry.

392
00:21:24,956 --> 00:21:27,224
This place felt like a dream.

393
00:21:27,349 --> 00:21:30,991
It really did, but it's turned
into a nightmare.

394
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:33,876
And now we have a chance to get out.

395
00:21:33,937 --> 00:21:36,861
Can you honestly say you wouldn't
leave if you could?

396
00:21:57,137 --> 00:21:59,629
Ah, Catherine.
There you are.

397
00:22:00,302 --> 00:22:02,078
You've come to gloat, have you?

398
00:22:02,139 --> 00:22:04,378
Well, you've won.
She's leaving.

399
00:22:04,439 --> 00:22:08,015
No, no.
I have some information for you, Catherine.

400
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:09,303
For your ears only.

401
00:22:09,364 --> 00:22:11,637
Why me?
What about the others?

402
00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:15,274
Ah, they don't want to listen
to this old walrus.

403
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,561
You heard?

404
00:22:16,622 --> 00:22:18,016
Yes, I'm afraid so.

405
00:22:18,077 --> 00:22:20,133
Even about your ear hair.

406
00:22:20,387 --> 00:22:21,593
What?

407
00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,031
No, not that bit.
No.

408
00:22:23,145 --> 00:22:24,345
Oh.

409
00:22:29,647 --> 00:22:31,387
You love Alison, don't you?

410
00:22:31,448 --> 00:22:33,556
- You want her to stay?
- Yes.

411
00:22:33,617 --> 00:22:36,861
- And you want her to be happy, of course.
- Of course.

412
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,700
I happen to know that woman
is trying to swindle them,

413
00:22:42,087 --> 00:22:44,380
by a considerable amount, if I'm right.

414
00:22:44,703 --> 00:22:47,263
Now, there is something you can do.

415
00:22:47,779 --> 00:22:49,632
She'd listen to you.

416
00:22:49,693 --> 00:22:52,720
Her friend.
Should you choose to help her.

417
00:22:53,014 --> 00:22:56,300
The question is,
what do you care about more?

418
00:22:56,656 --> 00:23:00,048
Keeping Alison here,
or letting her be happy?

419
00:23:03,406 --> 00:23:05,255
Sorry, I've got to stand.

420
00:23:06,149 --> 00:23:07,767
- Ah!
- The basement?

421
00:23:07,828 --> 00:23:10,616
There's plenty of room down there
for swimming baths.

422
00:23:10,677 --> 00:23:12,709
Well, I'm sure she'd have thought of that,
wouldn't she?

423
00:23:12,769 --> 00:23:17,200
Exactly. Unless she didn't tell you
on purpose, so she could pay you less.

424
00:23:18,579 --> 00:23:22,463
That crafty...!
Thank you, Kitty!

425
00:23:23,125 --> 00:23:25,009
- I'd hug you if I could.
- I'd love that.

426
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:26,829
I'm going to miss you, in a way.

427
00:23:26,890 --> 00:23:28,694
Maybe I can come back and stay
in the hotel sometimes.

428
00:23:28,754 --> 00:23:30,672
Oh, yes.
You could stay in my room.

429
00:23:30,733 --> 00:23:33,971
We'll stay up all night talking
about balls and eligible men.

430
00:23:34,477 --> 00:23:35,677
Yeah.

431
00:23:36,209 --> 00:23:39,569
Right, I'd better tell them
to check out the basement.

432
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:45,756
Hi, Fiona? It's Alison.
I've got some tremendous news.

433
00:23:46,635 --> 00:23:48,902
So if you could just call me
back when you get this.

434
00:23:54,037 --> 00:23:55,574
Have they started already?

435
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:57,267
It looks like it.

436
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,755
If it make it better,

437
00:23:59,816 --> 00:24:02,900
I've seen many house come and go here.

438
00:24:03,165 --> 00:24:06,460
- No, that makes it worse.
- Oh, yeah.

439
00:24:07,426 --> 00:24:09,419
Is he smiling?

440
00:24:12,856 --> 00:24:15,491
Hey, you!
Me.

441
00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:17,957
Wait there.
I'm coming.

442
00:24:19,339 --> 00:24:20,539
Oh!

443
00:24:22,254 --> 00:24:25,029
- How long did they say they'll take?
- Oh, it's not too long.

444
00:24:25,090 --> 00:24:27,274
They just need to dig
some exploratory holes.

445
00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:29,360
It's quite common now to use
the basement to expand.

446
00:24:29,420 --> 00:24:31,819
Oh, so you've done this before?

447
00:24:32,521 --> 00:24:36,095
I think maybe we might have, on one
of our other properties.

448
00:24:36,156 --> 00:24:38,144
It was silly of me not
to have thought of it here.

449
00:24:38,204 --> 00:24:39,780
I really am a first-class booby.

450
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,348
- Never mind. We got there in the end.
- And we don't have to lower the price.

451
00:24:43,585 --> 00:24:45,725
Left a bit, right a bit.

452
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,426
- Sorry to interrupt.
- All done, love?

453
00:24:50,512 --> 00:24:52,987
Not strictly speaking, no.

454
00:24:53,048 --> 00:24:57,470
There's something, um, perhaps you should
come and take a look for yourselves.

455
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,000
Oh, it's dusty.
Oh, dear.

456
00:25:16,061 --> 00:25:18,517
Oh, it's gone all dark.

457
00:25:24,329 --> 00:25:27,234
Right, so, um....

458
00:25:27,295 --> 00:25:29,777
Spit it out.
Then we can get back up into the light.

459
00:25:29,838 --> 00:25:34,024
We took up a couple of stone slabs
and started digging,

460
00:25:34,085 --> 00:25:38,675
and we had to stop,
because we found something.

461
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,596
- What did you find?
- There's a grave.

462
00:25:43,238 --> 00:25:45,091
Oh, God.
Where?

463
00:25:45,347 --> 00:25:46,917
We're standing on it.

464
00:25:55,496 --> 00:25:57,298
Fiona, give me your hand.

465
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,694
Oh, gosh!
Nick, it's you.

466
00:26:00,247 --> 00:26:01,599
How do you know?

467
00:26:02,626 --> 00:26:03,827
Get me out!

468
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,713
Fiona, please, this wasn't us.
It's a plague pit.

469
00:26:12,774 --> 00:26:15,619
- We didn't kill anyone.
- Well, we've had to alert the authorities.

470
00:26:15,679 --> 00:26:17,331
You can just dig up the bones, can't you?

471
00:26:17,391 --> 00:26:19,060
Yeah, this doesn't affect the sale.

472
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,724
They don't let just anyone
exhume human remains.

473
00:26:21,785 --> 00:26:24,718
If this is a plague pit,
it's a site of historical interest.

474
00:26:24,779 --> 00:26:25,980
They'll be at it for ages.

475
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,404
I think we'll find a property
that isn't a mass grave.

476
00:26:29,383 --> 00:26:32,276
- Let's get out of here immediately.
- Fiona! Fiona, please.

477
00:26:35,095 --> 00:26:37,073
- Watch it, Humphrey!
- Bingo!

478
00:26:39,887 --> 00:26:42,228
Ah, hello.

479
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,844
Ah.
Did you miss me?

480
00:26:44,941 --> 00:26:47,756
Fiona, please, don't...!
Please!

481
00:26:53,906 --> 00:26:55,672
Kitty, did you know this would happen?

482
00:26:55,758 --> 00:27:00,110
I didn't, honestly.
The captain said that the basement would...

483
00:27:00,358 --> 00:27:02,680
Oh!

484
00:27:03,906 --> 00:27:07,774
It was nothing, really.
I'll give you a full debrief at 1900 hours.

485
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:11,107
- Oh, good.
- He'll never hush about this.

486
00:27:11,419 --> 00:27:12,639
Hang on.

487
00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:16,056
- You made me do something horrible?
- Yes. But they're staying.

488
00:27:16,117 --> 00:27:17,317
That's good.

489
00:27:18,570 --> 00:27:21,393
- Did they do this?
- Yep, yes, yes, they did.

490
00:27:22,713 --> 00:27:24,611
If I could cut you right up,
I could kill you

491
00:27:24,671 --> 00:27:27,260
if I could see you!
If you weren't already dead!

492
00:27:27,321 --> 00:27:28,758
Steady on, mate!

493
00:27:28,858 --> 00:27:31,762
I feel like we're going
to be stuck here for ever.

494
00:27:31,823 --> 00:27:33,640
Join the club!

495
00:27:35,174 --> 00:27:37,245
- Can I sleep in your room tonight?
- No.

496
00:27:37,306 --> 00:27:39,576
- Tomorrow?
- You're beautiful when you're sad.

497
00:27:39,637 --> 00:27:42,216
Have you brushed your hair today?
It looks like a bird's nest.

498
00:27:42,276 --> 00:27:44,050
Please, guys, you said you'd change.

499
00:27:44,111 --> 00:27:45,555
Boo!

500
00:27:45,616 --> 00:27:48,318
Oh! Guys, I'm back, and I feel amazing.

501
00:27:48,379 --> 00:27:51,083
- Oh, wow!
- So, did I miss anything, or was...

502
00:27:54,188 --> 00:27:56,008
Oh, come off it.

503
00:27:56,461 --> 00:27:57,719
Left a bit.

504
00:27:58,062 --> 00:28:01,305
Left a bit.
Left a bit!

505
00:28:01,365 --> 00:28:05,965
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com