1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,920 KITTY: What should I say? ALISON: I don't know. 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,120 Whatever you like. Hello, Bumpy. I'm Katherine. 3 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,240 Who's your favourite Spice Girl? Over. 4 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,400 GIGGLES 5 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,800 TV ON Shh! Trying to listen to this! 6 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,200 What, the business news? 7 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,200 Yeah. I like to keep an eye on the markets. 8 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,840 Track my investments. 9 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,640 You don't have any investments, Julian. 10 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,320 You're dead. For your information, 11 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,960 I've just added an exciting new fund to my portfolio. 12 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,720 Oh. I set him up an account, and I put in a fiver. 13 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:30,520 And it's already up to £5.73. 14 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,000 That's a 15% yield. Yeah. 15 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,840 "King Midas", they used to call me 16 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,320 because everything I touched turned to... 17 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,840 TV: ..fundamental downturn... 18 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,160 Oh, damn and blast! Switch it off, Alison. 19 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,920 TV: Let's go over to Rachel for today's... 20 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,880 ROBIN AND PAT OBJECT We don't want to miss... 21 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,800 What? But you can't even feel the heat. 22 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,400 Or the cold. Or...anything. 23 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,960 BOTH: Shh! 24 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,080 FORECAST CONTINUES 25 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,280 So, as I was saying, Melanie B is the first... 26 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,400 YELPS 27 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,840 RETCHES 28 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,120 I just saw the baby. Yeah, well, that's where it lives. 29 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,080 No, I mean, I saw everything. 30 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,720 Even... 31 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,440 Oh, Alison, you're having... 32 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,440 No, no, no. No. We don't want to know the sex! 33 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,120 No, no, no, no, no. PAT: Do you mind? 34 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,280 We're trying to watch this. 35 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,480 FORECAST CONTINUES 36 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,560 PAT SIGHS 37 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,520 Mm. Mm-mm. 38 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,920 PHONE RINGS Oh... 39 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,200 Hello. 40 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,760 ON PHONE: Mr Cooper. 41 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,840 Charles Worthing here, Worthing, Cole and... 42 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,480 Yeah. Yeah. Charlie, hi. 43 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,000 Have you heard from the golf guys? 44 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,520 I just got off the phone with them, 45 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,440 and there's good news and there's bad news. 46 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,760 OK. Um... What's the good news? 47 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,520 The consortium have pulled the offer. 48 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,800 You're kidding me? What the hell is the bad news?! 49 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:41,960 No, I... I'm sorry. 50 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,600 I thought you'd ask for the bad news first, 51 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,760 so I've written it down in that order. 52 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,080 The good news, bad news format was a mistake. 53 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,760 OK. So what's the good news? 54 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,320 Basically, your bar idea got them thinking. 55 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,080 They no longer just want a course. 56 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,960 They're now proposing a full-scale golf resort - 57 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:04,160 bar, hotel, health spa, the works. 58 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,520 Oh, my G... 59 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,920 Alison! 60 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,480 Alison. 61 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:09,640 Alison! 62 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,200 So, what does that mean for us? 63 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,560 They want it all, Michael - to buy the house 64 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,360 AND grounds in its entirety. 65 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,720 Buy them...? 66 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,880 What?! 67 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,560 Guys...! 68 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,320 PAT SIGHS She's just so... 69 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,520 ON TV: Rather gusty here. 70 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,400 BOTH: ..professional. 71 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:27,640 Yeah. 72 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,280 TV: ..humidity, which means there'll be pressure building 73 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,880 between two fronts. 74 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,960 RUNNING FOOTSTEPS We can see more clouds... 75 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,400 FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING 76 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,720 HUMPHREY: How many times?! 77 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,560 Easy on the stairs! 78 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,040 You're kidding. You're kidding. 79 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,000 No. No. 80 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,840 BOTH: Well, what did he say, exactly? 81 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,400 Just that. They want the grounds for the golf course 82 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,480 and the house for the hotel and bar. So, a complete buyout. 83 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,200 How much? I don't know. 84 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,960 He said they're just gauging interest in principle for now, 85 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,240 but he reckons it'll be a substantial offer. 86 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,000 Like - big money. 87 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,320 Pay off our debts. 88 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,120 Give us a little nest egg. 89 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,400 This could solve all of our problems. 90 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,640 Yeah... 91 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,760 Oh, God, this is not going to be an easy... 92 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,200 OK. Whatever you do, do not let the ghosts... 93 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,160 WHISPERING: ..get wind of this. Oh, yeah, I know. I'm not an idiot. 94 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,600 GHOSTS ALL YAMMER AT ONCE 95 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,200 They're here, aren't they? 96 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,720 Mm-hm. They know, don't they? 97 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,000 I told them, didn't I? 98 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,440 All right, guys. Guys, guys, guys... Hey! 99 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,240 We've... We've barely had any time to take this in ourselves, 100 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,520 let alone make a decision. 101 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,120 I mean, obviously, we have to have a conversation... 102 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,960 GHOSTS ALL SPEAK AT ONCE 103 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:03,080 I meant... I meant a conversation with Mike. 104 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,680 Right. Well, Mike's involved... 105 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,840 Without you. 106 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,080 PAT SIGHS 107 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,080 ALISON SIGHS 108 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,840 Let's go for a walk. 109 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,440 How could she even consider such a thing? 110 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,120 This is Button House. 111 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,800 It needs to stay in the family! 112 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,320 Family, family, family! 113 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,920 Yeah! 114 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:26,280 Although, to be fair, also money, money, money. 115 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,440 BOTH: ABBA! 116 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,840 Could she really leave me? 117 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,080 I mean, us. 118 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,160 KITTY: No! Not on my watch! 119 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,960 I'm going to make her love me so much that she never leaves. 120 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,960 I'll be extra kind and nice and sweet and caring, 121 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,480 and I won't put my head in her belly. 122 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,920 Kitty's right. 123 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,440 Excluding the last bit. 124 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,680 Now, if we want her to stay, we have to make staying 125 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,720 seem like the most attractive option. 126 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,040 OTHERS AGREE 127 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,080 Operation... 128 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,640 ..Be Really, Really Nice. 129 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,600 Walk to where? I don't know. 130 00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,960 Just get out the house. 131 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,720 Mm-hm. Away from all the... 132 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,080 Yeah. Yeah. 133 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,440 Just weigh up the pros and cons quietly, without all the drama. 134 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,160 SOBBING: She left me. 135 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,400 Oh... 136 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,560 OBI SOBS MIKE SIGHS 137 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,600 OBI SOBS 138 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,720 Come on, mate. 139 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,720 We'd just gone halves on a sandwich toaster...! 140 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,360 CONTINUES SOBBING 141 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,560 Hi, Alison. 142 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,040 GASPS It's me, Kitty. 143 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,640 Yeah, I know. 144 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,120 If this is about the house, we... 145 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,400 Oh, that? No, no. I've forgotten all about that. 146 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,280 No, I wanted to assure you, as a friend, 147 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,600 as your best friend, 148 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,080 that the secret's safe with me. 149 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,280 You know, about the baby's sex. 150 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,080 Oh. I won't tell a soul. 151 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,840 And believe me, I can keep a secret. 152 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,680 I've kept some for hundreds of years. 153 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,120 Even some really juicy ones, 154 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,000 like the one about my friend Josephine. 155 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,120 Oooh, the one who poisoned the mayor's cat? 156 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,640 How could you know that? 157 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,280 Because you told me, Kitty. 158 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,520 Oh, right. 159 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,880 Well, this will be different. 160 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,120 One of those real never-tell-a-soul secrets, 161 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,120 like that Robin and Mary thing. 162 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,280 What Robin and Mary thing? 163 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,280 Oh, nothing. Nothing. W... 164 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,680 HEELS CLICKING 165 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:06,920 Mm. 166 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,400 Kitty, did you find...? 167 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,680 I don't know any secrets! 168 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,040 SOBBING 169 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,680 I know that sob. 170 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,640 Heartbreak. 171 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,160 I thought things were going well with you and, uh... 172 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,640 Brenda. ..Brenda. Yeah. 173 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,000 So did I. 174 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,800 Then, today, out of the blue, 175 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,720 she just sends me this text - "This isn't working." 176 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,440 Out of nowhere. 177 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,960 A text? Mm-hm. 178 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,920 That's cold. She didn't say why? 179 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,880 Just that it's been weird for ages, 180 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,760 and she needed something new. 181 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,040 SNIFFLES 182 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,680 Like someone else? 183 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,160 Oh, God...! 184 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,040 The cousin. It'll be the cousin. 185 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,120 OK. You need some answers. 186 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,200 Call her. 187 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,560 I've tried. She won't pick up. 188 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,880 Just have some rest, yeah? You look tired. 189 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,000 Yeah. 190 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,040 WHIMPERS AND MUMBLES 191 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,120 What? 192 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,560 He thought she understood him. I thought she understood me. 193 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,920 I know, mate. 194 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,280 OBI GASPS 195 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,120 OBI SOBS 196 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,360 There, there. It's all right. 197 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,560 The first 100 years are the worst. 198 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,360 Actually, the next 100 are quite bad, too. 199 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,720 How's he doing? 200 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,200 Yeah, not great. I think he's going to have a nap, 201 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,000 so maybe we could sneak off for a minute. Have that chat? 202 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,520 PHONE CHIMES 203 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,720 OBI WAILS Why?! 204 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:48,880 ALISON SIGHS 205 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,000 I should probably... I'll tell you what - 206 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,440 why don't we both make a list, the pros and cons of staying, 207 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,400 then compare them later? OK. Great idea. 208 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,440 SOBS CONTINUE 209 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,040 I mean, yes, it's distressing, 210 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,080 but you haven't been shot in the stomach. 211 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,480 What has she said now? 212 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:07,440 Slightly less than the melodrama would have you believe. 213 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,680 Jeez, Louise! Can we please have less sneaking up 214 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,960 on the pregnant woman? Yes. Sorry. Of course. 215 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,040 Anything I can do to help. 216 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,800 In fact, that's why I'm here, actually. 217 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,720 Just to say, if there's anything I can do to help, 218 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:23,080 to help you in any way, you only need ask. Anything. 219 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,720 You know, not chores, obviously, or anything manual. 220 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,520 You know? No lifting or carrying 221 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,600 or anything that involves physical contact of any kind. 222 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,560 LAUGHS But that aside...anything. 223 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,080 Anything. Well... 224 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,600 Yeah. Well, that pretty much counts out everything 225 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,680 that might be helpful to a heavily pregnant woman. 226 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,040 So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. 227 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,080 Yeah. 228 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,920 ROBIN CHUCKLES 229 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,120 Real smooth! 230 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,480 What's it to you? 231 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,840 I don't know. What is, what is it to me to you? 232 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,080 What? What? 233 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,000 I know what this is about. What? 234 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,960 It's Rachel, isn't it? 235 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,480 Off the weather. 236 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,240 You're jealous. Jealous? 237 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,360 ROBIN SCOFFS 238 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,440 That's right. 239 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,400 You know that a sophisticated lady like Rachel 240 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,800 would never be interested in an old fossil like you, 241 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,080 and it's eating you up inside. 242 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,480 She'd want a modern man. 243 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,360 A rad dude, drives a Datsun, eats Caramac. 244 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,080 Maybe. 245 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,800 Or maybe she prefers someone a little more rugged. 246 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,120 Huh? You know, rough around the edges. 247 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,200 A bad boy. 248 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,680 PAT GASPS 249 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,680 Not some goody-goody-two-shoe with your little shorts 250 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:36,920 and your tiny toggle. 251 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,560 It's a woggle! 252 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,920 As you would know, if you had one iota of intelligence. 253 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,920 Ohh! You see, it requires a certain degree of intellect to communicate 254 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,120 on a level with someone like Rachel, 255 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,520 with her southern oscillation and her tightly packed isobars! 256 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,600 And with the best will in the world, Robin, 257 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,480 you're not exactly the sharpest tool in... 258 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,120 The square of the hypotenuse to a right-angled triangle 259 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,480 is equal to the sum of the square of the other two sides. 260 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,160 SCOFFS 261 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,920 So, you can parrot a bit of Fibonacci... 262 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,040 That Pythagoras. 263 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,720 Hold up, clever dick! 264 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,440 What's the capital of Indonesia? 265 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,920 GROANS 266 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000 GROANS 267 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,600 What are you doing? 268 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,240 Oh. Just redistributing some assets. 269 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,680 Just made a cool 17K. 270 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,960 That says 17p. 271 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,440 What do you want, Kitty? 272 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,160 Don't mind me. You carry on. 273 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,040 Such a lovely thing to do for Alison. 274 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,480 A little nest egg for the baby. 275 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,160 Yes. Minus my commission, obviously. 276 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,160 And while I can't say anything specific about the baby, 277 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,240 I'm sure that if the baby could, 278 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,320 then the baby would thank you for doing this for him. 279 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,240 Him?! Oh, no! What have I done? 280 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,920 Pros and cons. 281 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,600 FOOTSTEPS 282 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,200 Now, Alison... No. 283 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,120 No, what? No to whatever it is you're going to say 284 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,880 about families and houses and bloodlines. 285 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,520 We haven't even discussed it yet, 286 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,200 so I don't want a lecture about a decision no-one's made. 287 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,360 Quite right. You take all the time you need. 288 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:24,120 What? And whatever you decide will be for the best, I'm sure. 289 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,400 Um... OK. 290 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:29,400 Now, how are you? 291 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,160 Hmm? You look well. 292 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,640 Positively blooming. 293 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,480 And that shawl. What a delight. 294 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,760 What's happening? 295 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,440 The fit is quite sublime, 296 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,680 and the hue really brings out the colour of your eyes. 297 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,440 Stop it. Whatever this is, can you stop it? 298 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,120 Stop what, Alison? I'm merely making conversation. 299 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,040 It's creepy. Oh, my God, what's wrong with your mouth? 300 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,000 I'm smiling, Alison. People like smiles. 301 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,360 Well, stop it. You're making my skin go weird. 302 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,600 I'm just being pleasant, Alison. 303 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,760 Is it so hard to believe that I could be pleasant? 304 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,080 Um... I've been being pleasant since before you were born, 305 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,920 young lady, and I will not have my naturally breezy demeanour 306 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,920 called into question by the likes of you! 307 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,760 It's absolutely outrageous! 308 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,120 And take off those boots! You look like a strumpet! 309 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,040 Wow. 310 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,040 Good morning, Alison, and may I just say... 311 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,360 Out! Understood. 312 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,920 CLEARS HIS THROAT 313 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,040 Yeah... 314 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,880 OBI SIGHS 315 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,080 I miss her hair. 316 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,320 Her perfume. 317 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,840 Her feet. 318 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,320 You said feet. You've already said feet. 319 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,320 The way her eyes crinkle when she smiles. 320 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,720 All eyes do that. 321 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:40,920 Her feet. 322 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,800 Oh, good God, man, it's been for ever! Get over it! 323 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,760 Stop fawning over her like a lovesick puppy! 324 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,160 You're embarrassing yourself! 325 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,120 Mike... Oh, Alison. 326 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,920 You're looking radiant. 327 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,080 Is now a good time to compare lists? 328 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,000 Um, yeah. He's just riffing anyway. 329 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,640 I don't think he'll notice I'm gone. 330 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,880 Just abandoned. Again. 331 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,080 My whole life! 332 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,200 SOBS Why do people always abandon me? 333 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,080 SOBS INTENSIFY 334 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,080 You're on your own, mate. 335 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,600 Alison, a moment, please. 336 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,280 OBI SOBS AND MUTTERS 337 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,680 Hello, Lady Button. 338 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,320 Kitty. Are you well? 339 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,720 Not particularly. 340 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,800 I tried to endear myself to Alison, as we agreed, but... 341 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,840 Well, you've probably never noticed this, Kitty, 342 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:43,480 but occasionally I betray a slightly barbed demeanour. 343 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,560 LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY 344 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,880 Well, we all have our flaws. 345 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,840 And I'm sure Alison knows deep down how much you care for her. 346 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,440 Do you think so? Of course. 347 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,160 You're giving up your room to be the nursery. 348 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,000 What could be more selfless? Yes. 349 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,360 Yes, I suppose you're right. I can see it now. 350 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,000 A cot in the corner, 351 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,000 a chest full of teddies, and all painted blue. 352 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,840 Blue?! For a boy?! Oh, my goodness! 353 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,680 What's wrong with me? AIR WHOOSHES 354 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,840 You're here. Good. Oh, and Kitty's here, too. Even better. 355 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,360 CHUCKLES Now, we were wondering 356 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,840 if you would settle, um... 357 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,160 ..I wouldn't say a disagreement. 358 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,320 I would. Right. You see, Robin and I have been discussing 359 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:25,880 what might constitute an ideal day out with a female companion. 360 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,440 A woman. A lady friend. Woman. 361 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,720 What the Americans might call a date. 362 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,120 I don't approve of them. 363 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,320 What, dates? 364 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,440 Americans. 365 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,680 Right. OK. 366 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,200 Well, that's... All we'd like you to do is just judge 367 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,360 which nice day out with a lady sounds better to you, 368 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,200 from a female point of view. 369 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,400 Oh, what fun! I see. 370 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,280 So, my pitch is a day at the beach. 371 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,520 Yes! 372 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,280 LAUGHS I love the beach. 373 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,360 Oh, it's perfect. Yes. I'll marry you, Pat. 374 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,920 All right, Kitty. 375 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,400 There's more to it than that. 376 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,720 There is? Yes. 377 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,920 We meet at the station. 378 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,800 I got some flowers from the Londis. 379 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,280 We're getting trains, see, so we can have a couple of those. 380 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,840 Then it's straight to the beach for fish and chips. 381 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,040 Mushy peas, if she likes 'em. 382 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:15,320 We'll stroll down the prom for a 99, 383 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,240 and then we'll sit on the pebbles... 384 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,200 ..and have a box of white wine. 385 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,920 The good stuff, mind. 386 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,640 Liebfraumilch. 387 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,640 And then, we'll watch the sun go down. 388 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,120 No. 389 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,480 You what?! 390 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,880 Flowers? With my hay fever? 391 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,760 And I certainly wouldn't travel by train. 392 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,640 And peas should not be mushy any more than wine belongs in a box. 393 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,160 The whole thing sounds ghastly! 394 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,400 Ha! 395 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,480 All right! Well, let's hear yours! 396 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:48,120 Rummaging for grubs and then back to the cave, is it? 397 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,600 CLEARS HIS THROAT 398 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,080 We take a carriage to Simpson's in the Strand. 399 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,280 The pre-theatre menu but with champagne - 400 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,960 Dumont, Laurent... 401 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,160 Then on for dry Martinis at Claridge's. I've booked ahead. 402 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,960 Robin wins. Yes! 403 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,320 Oh, well done, Robin. 404 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,440 You just wooed a 170-year-old woman. 405 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,120 Excuse me! And Kitty liked mine. 406 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,120 Well, best of three, then! 407 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,600 Ah, perfect. 408 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,720 I'm doing him a snack, so we've got a couple of minutes. 409 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,640 So, obviously, I've got ghosts. 410 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,560 Yeah, me, too. Yeah. 411 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,240 In which column? 412 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,600 Both. 413 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,960 Yeah. 414 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,800 Yeah, me, too. I've still to do my cons cos I'm struggling. 415 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,760 ..I'm fortunate, nay blessed... 416 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,440 Ghost? Ghosts. ..to share your home... OK. 417 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,400 ..with such devoted and contented companions. 418 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,720 I will catch you later. If you would. 419 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,960 Imagine a life where you wake up in the morning 420 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,160 to find you haven't been written a poem. 421 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,880 Mm-hm... 422 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,800 A life without seeing this face every day. 423 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,880 You see? 424 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,920 Even now, I'm in your thoughts. 425 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,400 Why, you have idly scribed my name. 426 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,080 Pray tell, what is a con? 427 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,960 It means...confident. 428 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,000 And I am... 429 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,960 ..confident. 430 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,800 Confident that you will make the right choice. 431 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,240 EXHALES 432 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,640 GASPS Guys! How many times? 433 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,840 Pregnant! 434 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,360 Yeah. Sorry, Alison. 435 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,360 We've just got a little favour to ask if you've got two minutes. 436 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,320 Well, I mean, I do, I... Good. 437 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,640 See, Pat think we need modern lady to judge lady things. 438 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,560 Lady things? Yeah. 439 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,880 We've both got our eye on Rachel the weather girl, 440 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,120 but we can't agree on who'd win her. 441 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,360 So, I'm going in with a day at the beach. 442 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,800 You know, fish and chips, Mr Whippy, the works. 443 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,760 No, no, no, no. To win a girl like that, you're talking 444 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,920 dinner at the Strand, champagne, oyster cocky-tail. 445 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,720 No, no. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. 446 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,680 This is ridiculous. Well, yeah. I did try to tell him. Don't... 447 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,520 I mean, both of you. 448 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,240 Firstly, you're dead people fighting over a woman off the telly. 449 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,640 Secondly, this whole competition feels kind of demeaning. 450 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,880 She's not a piece of meat. 451 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,400 Yeah! We know that. 452 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,720 She's a lady. Yeah. 453 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,240 You know, a lovely, unique human lady. 454 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,400 Human lady. 455 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,440 Well, what's her full name? 456 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,240 Rachel... 457 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,520 Yeah? 458 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,560 Guh... 459 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,760 K... 460 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,000 BOTH: Weather? 461 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,120 McGill. 462 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,400 McGill! So close! 463 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,600 She's not a possession that either of you can win, 464 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,160 even if you were alive. 465 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,280 She's a smart, successful woman who deserves more respect 466 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,280 than either of you are showing her right now. 467 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:43,680 She's right. 468 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,440 Yeah. 469 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,000 Share? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 470 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,280 Yeah. Yeah. 471 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,840 Oh, Captain, can I ask your advice? 472 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,680 Ah, Katherine. Yes, of course. Anything. 473 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,000 In the war, you had to keep secrets, yes? 474 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,480 Oh... LAUGHS 475 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,280 Well, I... I couldn't possibly say, Kitty. 476 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,480 CHUCKLES 477 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,520 Yes. Right. 478 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,640 So, how do you do it? Keep a secret. 479 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,760 It turns out I'm not quite as good at it as I thought I was. 480 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:17,040 Ah, I see. Well, it's actually pretty straightforward. 481 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,280 Just don't allow yourself to be pulled into any conversations 482 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,880 about the offending issue, which in this case is...? 483 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,240 The baby being a boy. Oh! You see? 484 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,600 Good Lord! You're an interrogator's dream. 485 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,600 Well, I think in your particular case, 486 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,880 it's best if you keep your conversations focused 487 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,080 entirely on the other person, 488 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:39,040 thus avoiding the risk of any accidental divulgence. 489 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,400 FOOTSTEPS 490 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,440 Try it. Try it now. Try it. 491 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,080 Hello, you two. Hello. What have you been up to? 492 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,360 Well, we had a little falling-out, didn't we, Robin? 493 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,680 A lovers' tiff. 494 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,880 Yeah, but it's all patched up now. 495 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,680 Honestly, you boys! 496 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:53,840 I said boy. Like baby boy. 497 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,200 The baby's a boy! Oh, I can't stop doing it...! 498 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,520 What's up with...? 499 00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:58,680 Panic over. They're staying. 500 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,680 PAT: What? KITTY: Are they? 501 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,280 Alison and I had a little tete-a-tete and... 502 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,320 ..well, let's just say I'm confident she won't be going anywhere. 503 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,880 Oh, that's a relief. Well done, Thomas. Nice one. 504 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,800 Ironic, isn't it? All this effort to keep her here. 505 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,040 It only seems like yesterday that they arrived here 506 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,400 and we couldn't wait to get them out. 507 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:18,760 That's right. True. 508 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,760 Julian even pushed Alison out of the window! 509 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,040 LAUGHS 510 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,880 He absolutely did... ALISON: What? 511 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,920 Now, listen, let's not be too ha... 512 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,840 Oh, my God. What have you done? 513 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,640 Well, don't look at me! Julian pushed her! 514 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,800 He's right. Julian, you have to fix this at once. 515 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,720 What? Our efforts are for nothing now this hangs over us. 516 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,240 It's murder, Julian. 517 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,600 Attempted murder. 518 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:55,880 I'm going to be sick. 519 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,000 RETCHES 520 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,600 You have to make this right. Yeah. It's all on you. 521 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,400 Just take a bite. 522 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,880 I can't. 523 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,480 It just reminds me of her. 524 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,560 She loves lettuce. 525 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,880 PHONE VIBRATES 526 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,920 GROANS 527 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,000 Hello. Obi's phone. 528 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,160 WHISPERING: I'm not here. 529 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,560 Just a second. 530 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:26,520 ON PHONE: Hello? 531 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,880 Brenda? Hey! You all right? 532 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,480 Of course I'm not all right. 533 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,120 Oh, God. What's wrong? 534 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,040 What do you think? I've been dumped. 535 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,200 Huh? By who? 536 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,520 By you. 537 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,960 Erm, I didn't dump you. 538 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,320 Yes, you did. 539 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,120 Obi, I'd know if I'd dumped you. 540 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,840 You said, "This isn't working," and, "It's been weird for ages." 541 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,880 Yeah. My phone. 542 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,320 But you said, "I think I need something new." 543 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,720 Yeah, a new phone. 544 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,280 But you said, "Don't call. 545 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,640 "I need some time to figure this out." 546 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,640 Yeah, to get a new phone. 547 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,400 Cos mine stopped receiving calls. I told you that yesterday. 548 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,200 Oh, yeah. 549 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,320 You did. 550 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:11,840 So... 551 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,360 ..are we back together? 552 00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:15,360 We never broke up. 553 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,560 Though I suppose I could pretend we did, 554 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,440 you know, if you wanted to...make up? 555 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,120 Uh... Dude, I got to go. 556 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,640 I'm going to call you later. Brenda. Brenda... 557 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,520 Unbelievable. 558 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,800 We're taking the deal. 559 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,080 What? 560 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,480 GHOSTS ALL SPEAK AT ONCE 561 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,280 No, no, no. Never say sorry. 562 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,040 That's the first rule of politics. 563 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,720 PAT: But you've done it before. You've sung it before. 564 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,440 That was different. We all did that together. 565 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,720 Never be in a minority. Second rule of politics. 566 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,800 To Hades with your rules, sir! 567 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,640 You need to apologise, man. Oh, yeah. 568 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,880 Like a simple sorry is going to make this right. 569 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,560 You'd be surprised. There's nothing so bad 570 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,280 that it can't be fixed with a sincere apology. 571 00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,680 Oh, really? 572 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,080 BAD NORTHERN ACCENT: Hello, Pat. Morris here. 573 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,880 I'm so sorry I slept with your wife, mate. 574 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,720 That's all right... 575 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,800 ..mate. 576 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:23,640 And thank you for your apology, you f-f-f-f-f... 577 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,360 ..fine fellow. 578 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,440 WHISPERING: Now you try. 579 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,480 MIKE: OK, what have they said now? 580 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,880 It's not what they said. It's just... 581 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,480 It doesn't matter why. 582 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,520 We need to leave. I just... Just trust me. 583 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:43,840 And I sincerely apologise if you feel in some way aggrieved 584 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,320 by the actions that are alleged... 585 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,200 That's not an apology, damn your eyes! 586 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,840 I'm trying here! 587 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,920 My list is, like, 95% cons. 588 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,880 It's just... Are you sure about this? 589 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,080 There are no second chances here, Julian. 590 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,720 Don't just say it. You must mean it. 591 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,360 Please don't let her go. 592 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,720 "We will gladly consider the sale of the house and grounds 593 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,200 "in their entirety." 594 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,000 Send? 595 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,160 Send. 596 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,720 JULIAN: Alison. 597 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,240 I've got nothing to say to you. 598 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,720 Just one minute, please... 599 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,040 I beg of you. 600 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,480 Just one minute. 601 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,440 Well... CLEARS HIS THROAT 602 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,160 ..the thing is... 603 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:29,760 Uh... 604 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,920 I'm... 605 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,160 I'm... 606 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,240 Uh... 607 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,720 I am... 608 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,360 Mm-hm. 609 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:43,640 I am... 610 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,640 I'm not sorry, actually. GHOSTS GASP 611 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,840 In fact, I'm glad. 612 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,600 Yeah, I'm glad I did what I did, because were it not for that, 613 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,040 you would never have met us, 614 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,680 and our lives would be poorer for it... Deaths! Deaths! 615 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:02,080 Look, I'm not proud of my actions, Alison. 616 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,280 Of course I'm not. 617 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:08,440 But I can't pretend to regret them when they brought with them this... 618 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,280 ..magic. 619 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:14,920 This gift that we could have waited a lifetime for. 620 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,800 1,000 lifetimes. 621 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,080 I'm glad you found us, Alison. 622 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:26,880 And I think, if you're honest with yourself... 623 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,280 ..you're glad that we found you. 624 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,640 Ooh... 625 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,680 But you do as you must. 626 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,680 We won't stand in your way. 627 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,240 CLEARS HIS THROAT 628 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,920 Someone's still talking? 629 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,360 You OK? 630 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,480 I can't do it. 631 00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,800 They're awful. 632 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,760 You are... You are awful. 633 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,920 Yeah, I know. 634 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,000 But... 635 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,000 But what are you going to do? 636 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,600 It's family. 637 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,360 I know that your list was mainly cons, but... 638 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,880 ..how do you feel about staying? 639 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,000 Honestly, I only had one pro. 640 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,760 But I think it's a goody. 641 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,600 Yeah. 642 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,720 ALISON SNIFFLES 643 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,360 Oooh! The safe! 644 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,440 Well, I mean... 645 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,960 TV ON 646 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,040 What about Erin if it's a girl? 647 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,120 Well, we know it's a... 648 00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,280 Kitty! 649 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,400 I'm sorry. 650 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,520 Oh! Right, OK, who here knows the sex of our baby? 651 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,720 I also know. You're kidding! 652 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,040 Does everyone...? Yeah. 653 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,600 Guys... 654 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,680 Alison, I know that Kitty has been a little indiscreet 655 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,440 in regard to this issue, 656 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,680 but ensuring a battalion keeps a vital secret 657 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,800 is exactly what I trained for. 658 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,440 You have my personal assurance that until this baby is born, 659 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,840 no-one in this house will let slip 660 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,680 any detail about the little lad. 661 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,000 GHOSTS GROAN Great. 662 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,680 Damn it. So, it's a boy, then. 663 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,160 What? Damn it. 664 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,720 This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Alison. 665 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,360 I couldn't help but see. 666 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:41,560 You couldn't miss it. It was just so long. 667 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,680 Really? 668 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,040 Yes. All coiled around him like a giant spring. 669 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,680 Like a... 670 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,720 Wait. 671 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,520 LAUGHS Kitty... 672 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,480 Kitty, I think you saw the umbilical cord. 673 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,880 The what? 674 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,800 The... The tube that gives it all its nutrients 675 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,160 when it's inside me. 676 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:01,640 It does what? Let me see. 677 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,120 TV: Now let's take a look at what the weather has in store. 678 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,560 PAT CHUCKLES 679 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,600 The outlook's about to get a little sunnier. 680 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,080 ROBIN GRUNTS 681 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,080 Live from our new weather centre in Salford, it's Richard Hanratty. 682 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,680 How are things looking for the weekend, Richard? 683 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,840 Richard? Oh! Oh, turn it off, Alison. 684 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,680 No, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no... 685 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,200 Let's not be too hasty. 686 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,880 CAPTAIN CLEARS HIS THROAT