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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

2
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You've got to do
something.

3
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Why have I
got to do something?

4
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Because I don't
really like snakes!

5
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I don't like 'em either.

6
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Why don't we just
turn around and...

7
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,419
go back the way we came up?

8
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'Cause everyone's watching.

9
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Please. Mr. Dundee.

10
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Oh...

11
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Yeah, come on. Mr. Dundee.

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Go, Dundee!

13
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I'm not really
Crocodile Dundee, you know.

14
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Just a character I play
in a movie.

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He's being modest. That movie
was practically a documentary.

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Shut up, Barney!

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Stand back, everyone. Boys.

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Oh. Shit.

19
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Be careful.

20
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Here's a stick!

21
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He'll have that thing on the
barbecue tonight.

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It's dead.

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Um, yeah, not that
one.

24
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Huh?

25
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Could you get the other one?

26
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The other one? Oh, is there...

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Ooh, Jesus!

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Shit.

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Everything okay?

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Oops.

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As hilarious reports
continue to surface of Paul

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'Crocodile Dundee' Hogan's

33
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ill-fated rendezvous
with a snake...

34
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we ask where the Man from
Down Under has been hiding.

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The one-time rigger
on the Sydney Harbor Bridge

36
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first got his big break

37
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on Australian talent show
New Faces.

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He instantly became
a household favorite,

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and quickly, this everyman
went on to star

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in his own sketch comedy
series, The Paul Hogan Show.

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Dominating the Australian
ratings over a 14-year period

42
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made 'Hoges' a household name

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and introduced such iconic
characters as Arthur Dunger,

44
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Luigi the Unbelievable

45
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and stuntman extraordinaire
Leo Wanker.

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The world beckoned,
and as Hoges fronted

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Australia's most successful
tourism campaign,

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we booked our flights and
flocked Down Under in droves.

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It was then Hogan unleashed...

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the most successful
independent film

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in the history of cinema...

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Crocodile Dundee.

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...Crocodile Dundee,
of course.

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...Crocodile Dundee.

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That's not a knife.

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That's a knife.

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The low-budget Aussie
comedy

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went on to gross over $300
million worldwide

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and saw Paul Hogan co-host
the 1987 Academy Awards

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and made him one of the most
recognizable faces

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on the planet and a national
treasure.

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Growing up in Australia,
there was one name

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that was... beyond an idol
in a way,

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and I'm just gonna say
one word - Hoges.

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Hoges was your everyman.

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Hoges was the Aussie
you wanted to be.

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In 1989 came Dundee II

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and saw Hogan move
to live in the US.

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More films were
to follow,

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but all failed to capture
the same success

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as Crocodile Dundee.

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And almost overnight,

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Hogan disappeared from
American screens.

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And apart from a brief cameo

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in a new Australian
tourism campaign...

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...has rarely been seen again.

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If you want to know

78
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what the notoriously private
star

79
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has been up to these past
20 years,

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your guess... is as good as
mine.

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What the hell was that?!

82
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What?

83
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You threw a snake at a
fifth-grade teacher

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and hit her in the face!

85
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Oh. Oh, she thought I was
the real Crocodile Dundee.

86
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So you threw a snake at her?

87
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Oh, no. That was an accident.
The bloody thing leapt at me.

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Right. And yet she thought you
were the real Crocodile Dundee?

89
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Yeah. He probably
would have eaten it.

90
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Paul, I hardly have any clients
left as it is.

91
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Could you just please try
not to kill yourself?

92
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Okay.

93
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Thank you.

94
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Uh, where are we going?

95
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Oh. I have news.

96
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Oh.

97
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Yeah!

98
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See this letter?

99
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What?

100
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Well, God knows why,
but apparently

101
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the Queen of England wants to
bestow you with a knighthood.

102
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What for?

103
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For services to comedy.

104
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Services! God! I don't want
a knighthood.

105
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Well, you're getting one.

106
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So this is serious?

107
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Oh. Look at that.

108
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There's that Dundee
impersonator.

109
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Oh, he's still here.

110
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I hate it. You know, people keep
telling me he's strung out.

111
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Photo with Mick Dundee?
Hey? Crocodile man?

112
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They're all strung out.

113
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Yeah, but he doesn't even
look like Dundee!

114
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And apparently he's rude
to the kids

115
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and then charges them
something like $5

116
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just to take his picture.

117
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Well, this is Hollywood
Boulevard.

118
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They're all crooks.

119
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Yeah, I know.

120
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Oh, and, yes, this is very
serious.

121
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Oh.

122
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,981
Oh, yeah. They want me
to appear in person.

123
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Six weeks from now in London.

124
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I know!
How great is that?

125
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I'm not going.

126
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Wait. But... What? You are.

127
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Wh-why would I go to...

128
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,034
I mean, I've been trying to
retire for the last 20 years.

129
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,077
I know.

130
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,578
You know me. I'm lazy.

131
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,164
I like to stay at home
and watch Ellen on TV

132
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,957
and do crossword puzzles.

133
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But despite all that, it seems

134
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the Queen is actually
quite the fan.

135
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Oh.

136
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I know.

137
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I'm not surprised.

138
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:24,218
I mean, come on, you put
Australia on the map.

139
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You had the most successful
independent film

140
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in history, Paul.

141
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I mean, you've got to think
about your legacy.

142
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My legacy?

143
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,061
Having a legacy is a beautiful
thing.

144
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As your manager, I am telling
you, you've got to do this.

145
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,983
Oh, and in the meantime,

146
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,610
can you just try and
behave yourself?

147
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,946
Because, you know, the palace
hates any kind of...

148
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,864
controversy or trouble.

149
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:48,659
Hey, I never cause any
controversy or trouble.

150
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,663
You know... sometimes it...
just comes after me.

151
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,669
What are we doing here?

152
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,379
Okay. Don't be mad.

153
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,548
But the studio really, really
wanted a meeting.

154
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,299
Angie, I've been
telling you for 20 years,

155
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,051
I don't want to do
another Dundee.

156
00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:09,012
I know, but they've got some
really amazing casting news.

157
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Seriously, I have never
heard the studio

158
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,559
this excited and bursting
with ideas.

159
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So I told them we'd take
a meeting.

160
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Oh, come on. Just do it for me?
Please?

161
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,274
Can we meet with them?

162
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,860
And then you can go home,
take a nap and watch Ellen.

163
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,529
All right. Come on.

164
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,406
Okay. You know what? I can't go.

165
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I've got to meet Mom.
But you go ahead.

166
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You'll be great, trust me.

167
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I'll call you later!

168
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:35,664
Love you!

169
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,959
Oh, look! Everyone,
there's Paul Hogan!

170
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Hey.

171
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,601
Hey, Paul.

172
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,810
Kim Courtney. Pleasure.

173
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,228
Paul, it's an honor.

174
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Thanks for coming in, Paul.

175
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,941
We heard you were very excited
to meet.

176
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,568
Uh... yeah.

177
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,153
Let me just start by saying
that we are huge fans

178
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,988
of the Crocodile Dundee movies.

179
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,615
And we want to bring him back.

180
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,200
We know you've been a little
resistant in the past,

181
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,951
but please, just hear us out.

182
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:16,330
We'd really love to see
Dundee...

183
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,915
come to Los Angeles.

184
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,374
Dundee in LA?

185
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,375
Exactly.

186
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:22,294
Like we did in Dundee III?

187
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,380
There was a Dundee III?

188
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:26,798
Are you sure?

189
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,884
Mmm, reasonably.

190
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,344
Here we go.

191
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,012
Drinks! Ha ha!

192
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One sunrise kiss
with added kale.

193
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,475
Thank you.

194
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,851
Roland, blended oats
and chai supreme.

195
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,019
Ah. Thank you, Anton.

196
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,354
Ah, Josh.

197
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,480
Yes, siree.

198
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:42,606
Lemon and rocket essence.

199
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,607
Perfecto.

200
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,608
Now, Paul...

201
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,609
Uh, no, I'm...

202
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,944
I made you my favorite,

203
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,320
which is a cleansing blend

204
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,072
of mint, goat's milk,

205
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:54,868
activated walnuts and baby
spinach with agave syrup.

206
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,036
Ooh!

207
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,037
Agave syrup!

208
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,038
Yeah. Thanks.

209
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,081
Take a sip.

210
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,165
Yeah, yeah. Drink.

211
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:01,166
Sip.

212
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,251
Come on.

213
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,336
Hmm? Hmm?

214
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,837
It's good, huh?

215
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:06,838
Yeah. There it is.

216
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,174
Anton!

217
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,135
Okay. Let's forget the location.

218
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,679
We want to introduce your son.

219
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,430
A Dundee Jr.

220
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:18,558
You know, someone who shares all
of your qualities and attributes

221
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,477
but who can bring the franchise
forward

222
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,145
for a younger, new generation.

223
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,523
Yeah, well, we've already been
down that road,

224
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,317
and it, um... didn't sort of
work.

225
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,028
Yes. But this time, we have
just the actor.

226
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,614
He's A-list, he is charming,
funny as hell...

227
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:33,657
A little bit cute.

228
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,700
He is perfect.

229
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,744
And a massive, massive fan.

230
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:41,331
So, without any further ado,
to play your son...

231
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,709
Will Smith!

232
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,711
Will...

233
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,087
Smith!

234
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,589
Look at him! Oh, he can't
believe it!

235
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,301
Believe it, Paul!
He wants to play your son!

236
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,510
Yeah!

237
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,678
Yeah, but...

238
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,972
Okay. We know what you're
thinking.

239
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,223
He's too old.

240
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,891
No, that's not what I'm
thinking.

241
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,436
But he's just turned 50
and he looks great.

242
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,854
Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, but...

243
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,105
What? He's American?

244
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,315
He's fantastic with accents.

245
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,441
We'll get him a voice coach.

246
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,151
But that's... not the problem.

247
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,152
It's just that he's...

248
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,153
Hey, Barry!

249
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,196
Ah! We got Paul Hogan here!

250
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,115
We're just discussing
the Dundee casting.

251
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,451
My man! Crocodile Dundee!

252
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,952
Hey, Barry.

253
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,455
Sorry, Paul. You were saying?

254
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,582
Well, it just doesn't
make sense.

255
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:24,750
It's just that he's...

256
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,751
Hey, Kyle!

257
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:26,877
Yes?

258
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,295
Bring that thing in here.

259
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,338
For sure.

260
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,505
So we can show our excitement.

261
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,548
Ah!

262
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,051
Oh, great! Perfect!

263
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,719
Perfect timing.

264
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,512
It's a crocodile.

265
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,266
Sorry, Paul, you were saying?

266
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,893
Oh, yeah, well...

267
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,978
You don't seem too sure
about Will... What is it?

268
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:45,979
You can tell us.

269
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:46,980
Mmm.

270
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:48,690
Be honest. Is... is it height?

271
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:49,691
No...

272
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:50,692
His build?

273
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,693
No...

274
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:52,694
What, his hair color?

275
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:53,695
Closer.

276
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:54,696
His acting?

277
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,697
No, I... I love Will Smith.

278
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:56,823
I think he's fabulous.

279
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,033
He's great. But, um...

280
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,493
What?

281
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,702
What is it, Paul?

282
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,038
He's black.

283
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,586
You did what?

284
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,837
I didn't do anything!

285
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,547
Paul, not more than
20 minutes ago,

286
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,049
I told you to behave yourself,

287
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,550
and now you suddenly decide
to become a racist?

288
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,761
Racist? Oh, rubbish!

289
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,971
They said you said you didn't
like Will Smith

290
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,306
because he was black.

291
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,100
No! I just said it makes
no sense

292
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,435
that me and the equally white
Sue Charlton

293
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,562
have an African-American son.

294
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,233
God, Paul! You can't say that!

295
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,402
Oh, I'm fairly sure I already
did.

296
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,446
Now I know why my dad always
wanted to quit managing you.

297
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,032
He never wanted to quit.

298
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,575
Paul?

299
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,160
Um, what do you say

300
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,621
we just keep this Will Smith
stuff to ourselves, huh?

301
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,415
And you just try and behave.

302
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,707
I'll try.

303
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:48,708
Okay.

304
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,127
Bye.

305
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,380
Oh... God!

306
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,601
Paddy?

307
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,812
You want your dinner,
don't you?

308
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,441
Here it comes.

309
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,328
♪ Like you want to go ♪

310
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,498
♪ Baby, it's the time ♪

311
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:13,877
♪ I can make you mine... ♪

312
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:15,879
Hey, Dad.

313
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,880
Oh, hey, mate.

314
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:17,923
How's your day been?

315
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,174
Yeah, it's good, it's good.

316
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,425
Not too bad. How about you?

317
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,968
Mmm... not bad.

318
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,762
Listen, do you want any dinner?

319
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,680
Oh, I'm all right. I had a bite
earlier, actually, so...

320
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,474
Oh, well... Oop.

321
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,600
Hi.

322
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,851
Hello. Hi.

323
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852
Hi.

324
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:31,853
Good to see you.

325
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,355
These are... they're my friends.

326
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,482
Yeah.

327
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,651
Um, there's some ice-cream
left down there.

328
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,860
You want me to leave you a bit?

329
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,612
You know what? I'm good,
actually, Dad.

330
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,155
But I might grab some
in a bit, eh?

331
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,532
Okay.

332
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,824
Why don't you come in for a sec?

333
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,826
Well, I'd love to, but, um...

334
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,953
you know, it's a bit late for
me.

335
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:48,954
Sure.

336
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,789
Yeah. I'll leave you.

337
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,207
I love you, Dad.
Good to see you.

338
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,250
Love you.

339
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,334
See you.

340
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,877
As excitement builds

341
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,462
for Alf: The Musical,

342
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,923
which opens on Broadway
next week.

343
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,843
Meanwhile, at the
domestic box office,

344
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,096
Father-in-Law spent its second
week at number one,

345
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,057
making Pauly Shore's return
to the top now complete.

346
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,267
Welcome back, Pauly.

347
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,726
Yeah, indeed.

348
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,436
All right, finally,
the excitement

349
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,522
of Paul Hogan returning to
the public eye was short-lived,

350
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,024
with some now asking
whether the Australian actor

351
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,735
threw the snake as a publicity
stunt

352
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:23,405
in a vain attempt to
reinvigorate his acting career.

353
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,616
His acting career?
I think you're being too kind.

354
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,004
Hi, Grandpa!

355
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,548
Oh, Lucy! How are you, love?

356
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,341
What time is it over there?

357
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:46,344
Not sure, but early. I've got
rehearsals before school today.

358
00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:47,887
Oh? What's that for?

359
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,806
I'm doing the school play.
The Wizard of Oz.

360
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,934
Well, today is my first day.
You should come and watch!

361
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:56,938
Oh, I'd love to, kid, but, um...
it's too far away.

362
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,898
Mum said you've been
getting in trouble.

363
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,233
Who, me?

364
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,568
You!

365
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,278
Nah. She's probably
getting

366
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,405
confused with someone else.

367
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,907
Oh. I wish you'd
come back home, Grandpa.

368
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,702
Oh, believe me, kiddo, I'd be
back there in a heartbeat

369
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:14,164
if I thought my poor old dog
Paddy could handle the flight.

370
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,125
Especially now that Chase is
doing so well over here.

371
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,086
Yeah. I've heard about
Uncle Chase.

372
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,298
Yeah! Never ceases
to amaze me, that kid.

373
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,218
I think he's running a nightclub
out of his bedroom.

374
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,680
So, how's the new school going?

375
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,057
It's okay.

376
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,808
Made any new friends?

377
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,269
Grandpa?

378
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,562
Yeah?

379
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:38,938
I love you.

380
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,732
Oh, I love you too, sweetie.

381
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,985
I'd better get going. Bye!

382
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,746
Valet?

383
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,539
Oh, yeah.

384
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,135
Kimmel had a good one on you.

385
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,805
Oh, yeah, and Colbert. He did
a good five minutes on you.

386
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:12,806
Great.

387
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,057
For somebody who just wants

388
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,475
a quiet life and to be
left alone,

389
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,227
you're not doing a very
good job of it.

390
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,770
Nah, I'm not, am I?

391
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,855
Hey, talk is you're now
taking to hate crimes.

392
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,774
What next, the Klan?

393
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:27,404
The studio! They wanted Will
Smith to play Dundee Jr!

394
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,405
Will Smith?

395
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,406
Yeah!

396
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,407
That's ridiculous!

397
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,408
I know!

398
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,492
I'll play Dundee.

399
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,868
What, you thought I'd retired?

400
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,745
I did Die Hard, for Chrissakes!

401
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,746
I know.

402
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,747
People love me!

403
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:38,748
I know.

404
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:39,749
Yo! Where's Urkel?!

405
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,792
I did that too.

406
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,252
Yeah, I know!

407
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:52,846
Come on.

408
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,480
Paul! Hi!

409
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:05,024
Oh, Livvy! Hi!

410
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,527
All right, see you.

411
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,529
Good to see you!

412
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,156
Oh, lovely!

413
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,157
Oh, you know Reggie.

414
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,158
Of course I do.

415
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,659
How are you? Nice to see you.

416
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,203
I was just thinking about you
the other day.

417
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,329
Oh, really?

418
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,539
Yeah. I was thinking we haven't

419
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,749
seen each other for a long time

420
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,000
and it's time we caught up.

421
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,293
Yeah. That'd be great.

422
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,919
Yeah. I've got a girlfriend
coming

423
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,130
to visit from home, Ella,
in a couple of weeks.

424
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,882
I thought that'd be
a great time.

425
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,508
Yeah.

426
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,552
You know, I was just saying
that he needs a woman.

427
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,512
Perfect!

428
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,682
So, um, what are you two guys
doing next Tuesday night?

429
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,934
Tuesday? Um...

430
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:43,229
Yeah, I'm doing this charity
thingy at my neighbor's school

431
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,064
and it's gonna be a lot of fun.
You should come.

432
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,775
Oh. Yeah.

433
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:48,318
John said he might come along,

434
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,320
sing a couple of songs with me
from Grease.

435
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739
And there's gonna be, like,
face painting and art stalls

436
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,866
and a barbie. You'll fit right
in.

437
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,410
Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

438
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,370
Oh. Oh! Tuesday.

439
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:02,040
Yeah, well, see, Tuesday,
I've got, um...

440
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,377
Pity... oh, pity it wasn't
Wednesday.

441
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,379
You know, 'cause if it had
been Wednesday,

442
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:09,881
I'd have been there with
bells on.

443
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:10,882
Yeah.

444
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:11,925
Hold on!

445
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,093
I think it is Wednesday!

446
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,639
Oh.

447
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,475
It is Wednesday. That's great.
You can come.

448
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,810
Perfect.

449
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,103
But look. Here's a flyer.

450
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,105
It's all about helping kids
who can't help themselves.

451
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,733
Oh. I think it'll be great
you can go.

452
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,485
After all of the bad press,

453
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:33,279
being seen at some charity event
is exactly what you need.

454
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,823
Thanks.

455
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,699
And, uh, maybe afterwards,
we can take a selfie

456
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,785
and remind the world
how much we love you.

457
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:39,786
Oh, yeah.

458
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,955
Yeah.

459
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,719
Everything all right, sir?

460
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,180
Oh, yeah. Just looking for
the valet.

461
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,600
We don't have a valet.

462
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,936
This is a supermarket.

463
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,171
Hey, no. No filming unless
you've got money. Come on.

464
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:35,049
What have you got? You got $5?
Or any coins or anything?

465
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,344
Oh, yeah, I grew this after
the movie. I'm the real guy.

466
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,345
You want a photo?

467
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,430
Who are you meant to be?

468
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,473
Huh? Better than Batman, hey?

469
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,976
Why don't you try picking on
someone your own size?

470
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,645
Oh, go away, grandad!
Oh, come on!

471
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,898
What?

472
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,275
Well, at least stop being rude
to the kids, Okay?

473
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,319
Oh, wow! I thought you were
dead!

474
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,946
Well, I'm not, shit-for-brains.

475
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,281
Oh! Okay.

476
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,991
"Look out! He's got a knife!"

477
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:02,577
Oh, yes. You have a knife,
but mine's bigger.

478
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,497
So, you want a photo? Come on!

479
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:07,749
That's not the line!

480
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:08,750
Yeah, it is.

481
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,959
No, it's not!

482
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,461
It's not the line!

483
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,546
I've been doing this
for 20 years. I think I'd know.

484
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,173
What?!

485
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,050
Go away. You're bad
for my business.

486
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,468
I am your business!

487
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,011
Yeah, right!

488
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,889
Hi. Uh...

489
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,141
I would love to take the photo?

490
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,225
Oh. Okay.

491
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,226
Yes?

492
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,227
Oh, just...

493
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,228
Okay. Okay.

494
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,813
Yeah. Come here. Okay.

495
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,398
Come on!

496
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,524
There you go.

497
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:35,902
Oh!

498
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,153
Thank you.

499
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,238
I'll show her my knife later.
Hey?

500
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,282
You are such a sack of shit.

501
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,534
Come on, boys! Hey?

502
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:44,535
Ha!

503
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,079
That's it!

504
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,997
Oh, Wally! That's my boys! Yes!

505
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,375
Yeah! How's that for the real
thing? That's it!

506
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,133
Crocodile Dundee star
Paul Hogan

507
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:02,053
tried to strangle a child today
when what was seemingly

508
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,055
a child's innocent request
for a photo

509
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:06,349
enraged the obviously
troubled star.

510
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,601
Oh! You little mongrel!

511
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,687
I'll rip your little head off!

512
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,313
Several onlookers,

513
00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,524
including Dorothy Springborg
from Delaware,

514
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,567
were almost caught up
in the brawl.

515
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,277
It was disgusting.

516
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,655
These were innocent children,
for heck's sake!

517
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:27,495
Um... oh, well, it wasn't as bad
as I thought.

518
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:30,832
I... don't even feel like
I know you anymore.

519
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,959
I can't even look at you!

520
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,336
I know. If you're worried
about it,

521
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,879
book me on one of them
tonight shows.

522
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,589
Book you on one of those
tonight shows?

523
00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,258
I mean, apart from
being a punchline

524
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:41,676
in their monologues lately,

525
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,344
they're not gonna have you
on their show!

526
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:44,762
God!

527
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,347
All right, well, what about
Ellen?

528
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,100
No! And you've killed any
chance of the knighthood.

529
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:51,352
I mean, Paul, what were
you thinking?!

530
00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:53,104
I don't care about a knighthood.

531
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,440
But I do, Paul. I do.

532
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:58,109
I thought we were meeting
the Queen. And you agreed.

533
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,278
No, no. I never agreed
to any knighthood.

534
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,946
But I told them that you did!

535
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,698
Well, tell 'em I didn't.

536
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,491
Seriously? You want me
to cancel the knighthood?

537
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,492
Absolutely.

538
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:07,702
Want me to call the palace?

539
00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,078
Yeah, call it right now.

540
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,079
And tell them no?

541
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,080
Yep.

542
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,082
Uh-huh. Oh, hang on.

543
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,252
I don't know why I bother.

544
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,920
I wish you wouldn't.

545
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,507
Oi. You out of bread.

546
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,343
I wonder why.

547
00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:25,720
Oh, hi, sweetie.

548
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,680
Grandpa, are you getting
a knighthood?

549
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,140
Uh...

550
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,808
'Cause Mum said you were,

551
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:32,602
and I told some kids
at my new school you were,

552
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,562
and they laughed and said
I'm a liar.

553
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:36,439
I'm not a liar, am I, Grandpa?

554
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,858
No. You're not a liar.

555
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,736
You are getting a knighthood?

556
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,781
Uh... y... uh, yeah,
services to comedy.

557
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,075
Yes! I knew it! Bye, Pa!

558
00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:48,117
Bye, love.

559
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:51,871
Oh, what a web we weave!

560
00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:55,541
Ha. Just called the palace.

561
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,336
They're really not happy.

562
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,421
Oh. Uh, see, here's the thing...

563
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:01,589
No.

564
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,882
You'll have to call 'em back.

565
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,175
No!

566
00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:06,052
Well, Lucy thinks
I'm getting it.

567
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,012
I'm gonna look like an idiot!

568
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,430
Well, she told the kids
at school.

569
00:23:09,514 --> 00:23:10,431
They'll get over it.

570
00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:11,432
No, they won't.

571
00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:12,433
It's a new school.

572
00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:13,476
She's trying to make friends.

573
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,811
It's not happening.

574
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,521
What about my, uh, legacy?

575
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:19,273
You know, uh... put Australia
on the map, had a TV show...

576
00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,400
Oh, and you always good
with the ladies!

577
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:23,569
Good with the la... ladies.

578
00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,404
Okay, fine! I will call them.

579
00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:27,448
But I am telling them
you're an idiot.

580
00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:30,243
Great. Great. Love ya!

581
00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:41,796
Wow.

582
00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:45,216
Is two o'clock. Is time
for your siesta.

583
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:48,094
Come on, Paddy. Help me cut
the grass.

584
00:23:57,687 --> 00:23:58,855
Ah.

585
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,776
Oh.

586
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,238
Wayne?

587
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,990
I need somewhere to stay.

588
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,367
Carol is driving me crazy!

589
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,369
She keeps saying I'm too loud!

590
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,412
Too loud?

591
00:24:14,495 --> 00:24:15,788
Yeah!

592
00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,623
And... and... and the kids
are crying.

593
00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:19,250
Crying? Uh...

594
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,377
I just need someplace quiet.
For a couple of days.

595
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,462
Uh... it's not really
a good time...

596
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,131
Well, you won't even know
I'm here!

597
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:28,509
I start rehearsals
on Broadway soon!

598
00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:29,844
I-I need to practice.

599
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:32,305
Oh, oh, oh, oh!

600
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,892
If Carol asks...

601
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,977
you haven't seen me. Yeah?

602
00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,704
Ahh.

603
00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:01,792
♪ Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey

604
00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:04,003
♪ Hello, my ragtime gal

605
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:06,339
♪ Send me a kiss by wire

606
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:08,424
♪ Baby, my heart's on fire

607
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,968
♪ If you refuse me,
honey, you'll lose me

608
00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:12,678
♪ Then you'll be left alone

609
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:17,725
♪ Oh, baby, telephone
and tell me I'm your own! ♪

610
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:29,612
♪ Hello, my baby

611
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,240
♪ Hello, my ragtime

612
00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:33,449
♪ Send me a kiss

613
00:25:34,659 --> 00:25:36,369
♪ Baby, my heart's on fire... ♪

614
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,749
Wait. So he sings?

615
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:44,126
Yeah. And he also tap-dances.

616
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,127
Oh.

617
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:46,170
Evidently.

618
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:47,713
Cop it.

619
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,715
♪ Send me a kiss by wire
Baby, my heart's... ♪

620
00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:53,803
Paul, you have three showers.
Why is he using your ensuite?

621
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:57,139
Oh, he said the acoustics
are better in my bathroom.

622
00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:58,975
Oh, what time is
the Olivia thing?

623
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,977
Oh. That's now.

624
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,562
You know, I am so glad
you're doing this.

625
00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:06,232
And I really think people
are starting to forget

626
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:08,150
that you threw a snake
at those bystanders.

627
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,194
And that you tried to beat up
those kids.

628
00:26:10,278 --> 00:26:11,946
And the Will Smith thing.

629
00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:14,073
But I honestly think it's
almost all behind us.

630
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,784
So it's the perfect time to be
seen with the lovely Livvy

631
00:26:16,867 --> 00:26:18,327
doing something for the kids.

632
00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:20,121
Oh, yeah, that'll be fun.

633
00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:21,998
Oh, do you want me to organize
a lift for you or something?

634
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,749
Oh, no, I've booked a car.
Thanks.

635
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,084
Okay.

636
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:27,211
Oh, and Paul, I'm really sorry

637
00:26:27,295 --> 00:26:29,797
I've been so crazy about this
whole knighthood thing.

638
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,425
I am just so proud of you
and the fact that I...

639
00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:33,426
Oh, there's my car now.

640
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:34,427
get to be there with you...

641
00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,095
I'd better go.

642
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,306
Hey, uh, give my love
to your mum.

643
00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,517
Rude!

644
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:55,448
Paul!

645
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:56,574
John?

646
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:06,667
Mint?

647
00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:08,085
Oh, uh, no, thanks.

648
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,545
Is the air all right?

649
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,088
Oh, yeah, excellent, John.

650
00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:13,007
Good. Oh. Bottle of water?

651
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,759
Oh, yes. Thank you.

652
00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,594
Yeah, I love it.

653
00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:19,930
You know, I don't get stuck
behind a desk, I'm my own boss,

654
00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:22,058
I get to meet interesting
people,

655
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:25,144
and, uh... let's face it,
these days,

656
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:30,232
romantic leads for 79-year-old
actors are few and far between.

657
00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:31,275
Mm-hm.

658
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,860
Tch! Hollywood!

659
00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:34,403
You'd know all about that, eh?

660
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:35,738
Yes, I...

661
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,825
You steaming turd!

662
00:27:42,203 --> 00:27:43,120
Um...

663
00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,246
Hmm?

664
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:45,873
I don't mean to be nosy,
but, uh...

665
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,875
you know, you're happy
driving and everything.

666
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:51,253
Uh... what happened after
all your success? I...

667
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:54,965
Oh, the money. Uh, well,
you know, alimony.

668
00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:55,966
Oh.

669
00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,510
Parties.

670
00:27:57,593 --> 00:28:00,429
Drugs. Gambling.

671
00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:02,348
Hookers.

672
00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:06,143
Prostitutes. Ladies of the
night.

673
00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,939
No, no, I'm being silly.
I never gamble.

674
00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:12,233
All right, here we are.

675
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,128
Huh. It looks bigger
than I thought.

676
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:36,298
♪ When you're facing
All kinds of trouble ♪

677
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:38,634
Just hang on a sec.

678
00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:43,472
"A charity concert
for disadvantaged children."

679
00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:47,059
Ah. "Helping kids who can't
help themselves."

680
00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:48,477
Thanks, Johnno.

681
00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:49,770
Okay.

682
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,612
Mr. Hogan.

683
00:28:58,696 --> 00:28:59,613
Why are you here?

684
00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:01,031
Oh, Olivia asked me to come.

685
00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:02,700
But... why here?

686
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:06,704
Oh, to help. To help these
unfortunate little people.

687
00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:10,249
And they need all the help
they can get. You know?

688
00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:12,877
I mean, they've had a raw deal
out of life,

689
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,796
and... it's up to us
to try and help 'em.

690
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:16,839
Mm-hm.

691
00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:21,635
♪ Give it up ♪

692
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:24,805
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

693
00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:26,390
Oh, really?

694
00:29:26,474 --> 00:29:28,184
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I don't pity them.

695
00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:31,270
They're having a little,
uh... concert in here tonight,

696
00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,898
and some of 'em are gonna
get up and try and sing.

697
00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:35,983
Try and sing?

698
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,318
Okay...

699
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:38,861
Oh, my pl... my pleasure.

700
00:29:38,944 --> 00:29:40,821
Uh, Mr. Hogan, do you mind

701
00:29:40,905 --> 00:29:43,115
clarifying some of
your comments tonight?

702
00:29:43,199 --> 00:29:44,825
Oh, it's pretty simple.

703
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:48,412
I'm here to help those
less fortunate than I am

704
00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:51,165
and, um... help them
in any way I can.

705
00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:52,458
"Help"?

706
00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:53,501
Yeah.

707
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:54,502
You're trying to help?

708
00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:55,461
Yeah.

709
00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:57,922
Paul?

710
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,640
Thank you, Mr. Hogan.

711
00:30:11,352 --> 00:30:12,770
Did he just say what...

712
00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:13,979
No. I'm not...

713
00:30:27,910 --> 00:30:29,745
You're here!

714
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:31,830
Anything for you, Livvy.
And the kids.

715
00:30:31,914 --> 00:30:33,374
Of course.

716
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,626
Sister Mary, I'd like you
to meet Paul.

717
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,878
Sister Mary is our wonderful
fundraiser.

718
00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:40,839
It's a great pleasure
to meet you, Mr. Dundee.

719
00:30:40,923 --> 00:30:42,675
Oh. Pleasure to meet you too
Mary.

720
00:30:43,968 --> 00:30:45,886
It's John. I need a favor.

721
00:31:10,119 --> 00:31:14,081
♪ I got chills,
they're multiplyin'

722
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:17,710
♪ And I'm losing control

723
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:18,711
Lose control, baby!

724
00:31:20,004 --> 00:31:23,173
♪ 'Cause the power you're
supplyin'

725
00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:25,801
♪ It's electrifyin'

726
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,928
Where's Johnny?

727
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:29,388
♪ You'd better shape up

728
00:31:30,723 --> 00:31:32,683
♪ 'Cause I need a man

729
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,184
What the hell is this?!

730
00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:36,020
♪ And my heart is set on you

731
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,354
Get off the damn stage!

732
00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:38,355
♪ Shape up

733
00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:40,107
Boo! You're not Johnny T!

734
00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:41,692
♪ You'd better understand

735
00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,235
You're ruining the show, man!
Where's Johnny T?!

736
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,695
I hate you!

737
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:46,405
Get off the damn stage,
popsicle!

738
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:48,365
♪ Nothing left for me to do

739
00:31:48,449 --> 00:31:50,492
♪ You're the one that I want

740
00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:52,745
Boo! God, get off the stage!

741
00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:54,163
You're not the one that we want!

742
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,205
Where's Johnny T?!

743
00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:56,248
Where's Johnny?!

744
00:31:56,332 --> 00:31:57,833
Please calm down.

745
00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,127
I'm sorry, Sister. You got
Jesus, we got Johnny!

746
00:32:00,210 --> 00:32:02,004
We did not ask for this tragedy!

747
00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:04,548
You have no idea how much
he loves Johnny!

748
00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:06,050
Sister, you have Jesus,
we have Johnny!

749
00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:07,176
This is not...

750
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:08,344
Hey, don't cry, honey.

751
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,386
I'm gonna get up there

752
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:10,596
and kick the grease outta you!

753
00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:11,680
Do something!

754
00:32:11,764 --> 00:32:12,681
I'm doing it!

755
00:32:30,658 --> 00:32:32,076
He's killed a nun!

756
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:33,661
He's killed a nun!

757
00:32:33,744 --> 00:32:35,162
Oh, you're going to hell
now, buddy.

758
00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:37,956
Burn! Burn in hell!

759
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,124
It's okay, babe.

760
00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:43,796
She's alive!

761
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,423
She's alive!

762
00:33:17,538 --> 00:33:18,997
Ow!

763
00:33:19,081 --> 00:33:20,457
Ooh!

764
00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,170
No, no, no! I'm Luke!

765
00:33:25,254 --> 00:33:26,922
I'm a wedding photographer!

766
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,674
I'm from Indiana!

767
00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:29,883
And?

768
00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:31,802
Um...

769
00:33:31,885 --> 00:33:33,303
That's, uh...

770
00:33:33,387 --> 00:33:34,763
That's all I got.

771
00:33:34,847 --> 00:33:38,016
What was so interesting
up my tree?

772
00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,768
Okay, look.

773
00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:42,396
I, uh... I was
a wedding photographer.

774
00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:44,815
Till I messed things up.
I went to the wrong wedding.

775
00:33:44,898 --> 00:33:47,067
Oh, the other photographer
got so mad at me,

776
00:33:47,151 --> 00:33:49,027
and then no-one would hire me.

777
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:51,864
But then my mom, she got me
a job at a magazine.

778
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:54,783
So, I go out, they ask me
to go get a photo of Eric Bana,

779
00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:56,201
'cause he was visiting our town,

780
00:33:56,285 --> 00:33:57,870
but I got confused.

781
00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:00,038
I went and got a picture
of Eric Banana.

782
00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:02,416
The fruit king.
Do you know him?

783
00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:05,043
He knows so much about fruit!

784
00:34:05,127 --> 00:34:07,296
After that, my boss,
he just suggested

785
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:10,132
that I should just move far
away, you know, maybe to LA,

786
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:13,218
and become a...
freelance paparazzo.

787
00:34:13,302 --> 00:34:15,262
Oh, great. That's what we need.

788
00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:17,473
Another idiot taking photos
of me.

789
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:20,726
Actually, no, I'm trying to get
a photo of Kim Kardashian.

790
00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:23,353
But, yeah, I can't find
where her house is.

791
00:34:23,437 --> 00:34:25,439
She is so sneaky.

792
00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:29,443
Anyway, I took the star tour
and we went past here.

793
00:34:29,526 --> 00:34:32,821
Oh, so I'm still on the star
map, am I?

794
00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:36,074
No. No, you're not.
But you know who is?

795
00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:38,368
Bob Saget from Full House!

796
00:34:38,452 --> 00:34:40,454
He's, like,
your neighbor!

797
00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:42,998
We all got out. We were taking
pictures of his place.

798
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,374
It was so awesome.

799
00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:46,710
Yeah, and then I looked over
and I saw you.

800
00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:48,587
You were, like, getting
your trash cans or something.

801
00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,714
And I was like,
"Hey! That's Paul Hogan!"

802
00:34:50,798 --> 00:34:52,382
And then the driver
was like, "No.

803
00:34:52,466 --> 00:34:54,092
"No, that's not Paul Hogan.
He's dead."

804
00:34:54,176 --> 00:34:55,719
He said that?

805
00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:56,804
Yeah.

806
00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:59,389
I'm glad you're not dead, Paul.

807
00:34:59,473 --> 00:35:02,601
Look, uh... listen,
I don't want to do this. I'm...

808
00:35:02,684 --> 00:35:05,729
It's just... you're the only
celebrity friend I have.

809
00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:09,650
Do you know, maybe? Do you know
where Kim Kardashian lives?

810
00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:12,736
Look, if you're looking
for celebrities,

811
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,404
go down to Melrose Avenue.

812
00:35:14,488 --> 00:35:15,823
That's where they all hang out.

813
00:35:15,906 --> 00:35:17,574
Okay. Okay.

814
00:35:17,658 --> 00:35:19,409
Or you know what?
I could stay here.

815
00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:20,410
No.

816
00:35:20,494 --> 00:35:21,411
Aw!

817
00:35:21,495 --> 00:35:23,288
No? It's fine. Okay.

818
00:35:23,372 --> 00:35:25,749
Do you... What's the best way
to get to this Melrose?

819
00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:26,834
Drive there.

820
00:35:26,917 --> 00:35:28,293
Drive there? Got it.

821
00:35:28,377 --> 00:35:29,920
I don't have a car.

822
00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:31,421
Bloody hell.

823
00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:33,006
You know what? That's fine.

824
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,050
That's fine. I can hitch.

825
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,802
It works.

826
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:41,807
All right. So, I will do that.
I'll just get my... my stuff.

827
00:35:41,890 --> 00:35:44,268
Ohh!

828
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:46,019
It's... Whoo!

829
00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:48,438
Don't worry about me.
It's not as heavy as it looks.

830
00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:49,982
It's all good.

831
00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:51,942
Uh...

832
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:53,402
That way.

833
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:55,904
Of course it is.

834
00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:57,573
Wish I would have
known that earlier.

835
00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:59,575
This is not a backpack. Ohh!

836
00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:01,827
All right, well, hey, it was
great meeting you, Paul.

837
00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:03,662
Okay.

838
00:36:05,998 --> 00:36:07,541
Did you say something?

839
00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:11,753
I thought you said "aww."
I heard some "aww."

840
00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:14,172
No. No. No.

841
00:36:16,425 --> 00:36:18,677
I really wish we could hang out
longer.

842
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,429
But I gotta get going.

843
00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:34,443
♪ I'm your all! ♪

844
00:36:34,526 --> 00:36:36,194
Though, the police vow
they will continue

845
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:37,863
to search for the Phantom
Valet,

846
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:41,199
claiming he has now stolen
upwards of 85 motor vehicles.

847
00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,786
In other news, it was all the
talk of the BT Awards tonight

848
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,955
when ex-movie star Paul Hogan

849
00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:48,790
got himself in
a lot of trouble.

850
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,417
Mr. Hogan, why are you here?

851
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,670
To help these unfortunate
little people.

852
00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:55,505
And they need all the help
they can g...

853
00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:58,133
I'm an ambassador for
Australia, Okay, for tourism,

854
00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:02,304
but... to be honest...
you know, I...

855
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:04,890
...I've started telling people
I'm from New Zealand.

856
00:37:04,973 --> 00:37:08,352
Yeah, I... I even married one.
You know? So...

857
00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:11,563
Look, I don't know what
Hogan's problem is.

858
00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:13,982
Uh, maybe he thinks it's funny,
I don't know.

859
00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:15,776
But, you know, as with
Lightning Jack,

860
00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:17,319
no-one else is laughing.

861
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,529
I was with some friends
the other night.

862
00:37:19,613 --> 00:37:22,783
Mike Tyson, Mickey Rourke,
Charlie Sheen.

863
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,327
We all agreed

864
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:29,581
that no-one's fallen from grace
as hard as Paul Hogan.

865
00:37:31,124 --> 00:37:33,335
It's embarrassing.
Is it the drugs?

866
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,762
Oh, bummer.

867
00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:46,390
Oh, well. You're happy here,
aren't you?

868
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:53,730
Australia.
There's no place like it.

869
00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:56,024
I'll see you next week, Barry.

870
00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:59,111
Not a lot of crocs
out here, huh?

871
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:03,073
Just 37,000 miles of pristine,
beautiful beach, mate.

872
00:38:03,156 --> 00:38:04,491
Like I don't know that!

873
00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:20,549
Alrighty, guys. Good morning.

874
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,634
You ready to feel the burn
in your legs and in your soul?

875
00:38:22,718 --> 00:38:25,429
Let's go! G'day, man.
How are you, mate?

876
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:28,807
Ready, guys? Limber up
and get ready.

877
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,726
Kick! One. Two.

878
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,729
Three. Feel the burn.
Feel the pain.

879
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,731
It's gonna hurt. Not gonna lie.

880
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:45,741
Bring in the energy.

881
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,620
Bit of this. Bit of that.

882
00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:53,081
He teaches aerobics now?

883
00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:57,002
Come on!

884
00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,754
Squat! Squat!

885
00:39:00,464 --> 00:39:01,965
Hey, Dad.

886
00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:03,842
You want some breakfast?

887
00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:05,510
Nah. Nah, I'm right. I got this.

888
00:39:05,594 --> 00:39:07,763
Why don't you put your gear on
and come out?

889
00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:09,473
Uh, yeah.

890
00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:11,933
All right.

891
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:17,105
Hold. Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.
Pulse.

892
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,823
What do you reckon, guys?

893
00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:31,703
Very nice. Very, very nice.

894
00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:35,582
The woman is 81
years old and a nun.

895
00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:38,168
I just need to know, why?

896
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:39,169
Ha!

897
00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:40,170
She was annoying me.

898
00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:41,171
She was annoying you?!

899
00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:42,172
No!

900
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,423
Look, it was an accident.

901
00:39:43,507 --> 00:39:45,842
Okay. So, just so I get this
right

902
00:39:45,926 --> 00:39:47,761
when I call the palace,

903
00:39:47,844 --> 00:39:51,098
you, um, threw a deadly snake
at a fifth-grade teacher,

904
00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:53,433
insulted an African-American
superstar,

905
00:39:53,517 --> 00:39:55,102
attempted to beat up
two children,

906
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:56,686
offended the entire
black community

907
00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:58,230
and knocked out a nun?

908
00:39:58,313 --> 00:39:59,564
What am I forgetting here?

909
00:39:59,648 --> 00:40:01,149
Why are you calling the palace?

910
00:40:01,233 --> 00:40:03,443
I'm calling the palace
to cancel the knighthood!

911
00:40:03,527 --> 00:40:07,197
Before they find out about you
and do it for us.

912
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,367
Paul, I am trying
to get out of this

913
00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:13,578
with a teeny-tiny amount
of dignity.

914
00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:17,999
Okay, what time is it
in London right now?

915
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:21,628
Uh, no. Don't call the palace.
Don't cancel the knighthood.

916
00:40:21,711 --> 00:40:23,088
I promised Lucy.

917
00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,548
Okay, fine. Fine.

918
00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:26,758
I'm just... I'm amazed
that the media

919
00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:28,802
hasn't picked up on this story
yet.

920
00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:31,304
And thank God she's okay.
This woman, this, um, Sister...

921
00:40:31,388 --> 00:40:32,973
Mary Murphy.

922
00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,015
Mary Murphy.

923
00:40:34,099 --> 00:40:35,600
And do you know why

924
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,686
the media hasn't picked up
on the story yet?

925
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:42,732
Because I have been up since 2am
calling every contact I know.

926
00:40:42,816 --> 00:40:44,192
I...

927
00:40:44,276 --> 00:40:45,569
Are you even listening to me?

928
00:40:45,652 --> 00:40:47,154
Yeah. Yeah, sure.

929
00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,905
What are you... Hey!

930
00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:50,782
I have been up all night
calling in favors,

931
00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:52,409
a lot of which I am
really not proud of,

932
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:54,411
all so they wouldn't run
this story!

933
00:40:54,494 --> 00:40:57,038
Oh, yeah. Look, I appreciate
that too.

934
00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:58,707
But I was thinking, um,

935
00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:01,209
why don't you try and get me
on some of the tonight shows?

936
00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:02,919
What? No! No.

937
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:06,047
Forget the tonight shows.
They're not interested.

938
00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:09,301
And, Paul, why do you want to
draw more attention to yourself?

939
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,761
Okay, I'll tell you what.

940
00:41:11,845 --> 00:41:14,890
I will hold off
on calling the palace

941
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,225
if you agree to have lunch

942
00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:19,603
with someone who is willing
to get you off the front pages.

943
00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:21,396
Who?

944
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,399
A decent, respectable,
dignified man.

945
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:25,817
Oh. Some actor.

946
00:41:25,901 --> 00:41:28,695
No, an acrobat. Yes, an actor!

947
00:41:28,778 --> 00:41:31,531
Look, I don't want to have
lunch with some actor.

948
00:41:31,615 --> 00:41:33,241
I don't have lunch with anybody.

949
00:41:33,325 --> 00:41:35,911
Well, if you don't want me
to cancel the knighthood,

950
00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:37,329
you're going.

951
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:40,165
I mean, he's willing
to sit down with you

952
00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:44,377
and spend time to explain
what it's like to be respectful

953
00:41:44,461 --> 00:41:46,671
and... and someone... who...

954
00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:52,260
You're on TV right now,
aren't you?

955
00:41:55,305 --> 00:41:56,973
How bad is it?

956
00:41:57,057 --> 00:41:59,309
Uh...

957
00:41:59,392 --> 00:42:02,354
Yeah, Okay, so, where am I gonna
have lunch with this guy?

958
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,939
Oh, God.

959
00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:17,160
Paul!

960
00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:19,537
Oh. Chevy.

961
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:23,875
Ah. Oh.

962
00:42:23,959 --> 00:42:25,585
This is, uh, pretty nice.

963
00:42:25,669 --> 00:42:28,421
Oh, yeah. Nice atmosphere,
great food.

964
00:42:28,505 --> 00:42:30,298
Can I take...

965
00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:32,592
Oh, my goodness!

966
00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:33,635
Oh!

967
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:34,719
Lovely to meet you.

968
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:36,221
Oh!

969
00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:37,639
I just have to say,

970
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,641
watching you perform
on Saturday Night Live

971
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,268
made me want to become
a comedian.

972
00:42:41,351 --> 00:42:43,520
Oh. How's that working out
for you?

973
00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:47,107
Well, I'm working here as
a waitress, so... not so great.

974
00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,442
Well, it takes intense training.

975
00:42:49,526 --> 00:42:53,488
But still, um... can I please
buy you a drink on the house?

976
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:54,948
Oh, that'd be lovely.

977
00:42:55,031 --> 00:42:58,410
How about a glass, um...
Brown Brothers SMC?

978
00:42:58,493 --> 00:43:01,454
Oh, I love it. I love it.
Paul, would you...

979
00:43:01,538 --> 00:43:03,581
Yeah, I'll... I'll have
the same, thanks.

980
00:43:04,916 --> 00:43:07,294
You are aware that is $40
a glass?

981
00:43:07,377 --> 00:43:09,296
Sure.

982
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,217
You... do know who this is?

983
00:43:14,301 --> 00:43:15,552
Yep.

984
00:43:18,179 --> 00:43:20,598
Wow. You've really been through
the wars, haven't you?

985
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,102
Nah, it's fine. It's just,
my manager...

986
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,895
People ask me constantly,

987
00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:28,106
how is it that I'm so loved
and adored?

988
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:30,025
And, you know, it's actually
quite easy.

989
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:31,735
How?

990
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,571
Just win an Oscar.

991
00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:36,197
Ah.

992
00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:38,533
Wh... what did you win
an Oscar for?

993
00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:40,910
Caddyshack. First one.

994
00:43:40,994 --> 00:43:42,370
Uh-huh.

995
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:43,496
Yeah.

996
00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:44,748
You win one of those suckers,

997
00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:46,041
you can do just about anything.

998
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,500
Really?

999
00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:52,339
Huh.

1000
00:43:52,422 --> 00:43:53,506
Are you okay, Mr. Chase?

1001
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:55,175
Yes. You need to have these
fixed.

1002
00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,510
It just slid right off
the table.

1003
00:43:58,470 --> 00:43:59,846
Certainly.

1004
00:43:59,929 --> 00:44:02,807
I'll talk to the owner
about... gluing them on.

1005
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:11,232
Um, listen. I was nominated
for an Academy Award once.

1006
00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:13,401
Really? What for?

1007
00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,487
Couldn't have been acting.
No offense.

1008
00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:19,532
It was for writing.
Best Screenplay.

1009
00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:21,743
Writing! Wow.

1010
00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:23,870
I didn't know that was still
a category.

1011
00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:26,247
What's next, Best Catering?

1012
00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:28,249
Ooh! Excuse me, Mr. Chase.

1013
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:30,835
I am so sorry to interrupt you,
but I just have to say,

1014
00:44:30,919 --> 00:44:33,880
you were hilarious
in The Three Amigos.

1015
00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:35,715
Whoa! Blew me away.

1016
00:44:35,799 --> 00:44:40,178
Oh, and European Vacation?
You are an amazing man!

1017
00:44:40,261 --> 00:44:42,722
Oh, come on, now.
You're being silly.

1018
00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:45,141
We're all just human beings.

1019
00:44:45,225 --> 00:44:46,851
I'm exactly like you.

1020
00:44:46,935 --> 00:44:48,186
Except for the Oscar.

1021
00:44:50,271 --> 00:44:51,773
You have an Oscar?

1022
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,066
Maybe.

1023
00:44:55,944 --> 00:44:57,612
Mm-hm.

1024
00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:58,905
She's cute.

1025
00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:00,657
Yeah.

1026
00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:02,659
Chevy! Are we still on
for badminton?

1027
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:04,035
Absolutely.

1028
00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:06,329
And, Paul. How are you?

1029
00:45:06,413 --> 00:45:08,206
Oh. I'm good.

1030
00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,457
Great.

1031
00:45:09,541 --> 00:45:11,292
We've actually been
meaning to call.

1032
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:14,629
We've had a good think, and
whilst we know you're not keen,

1033
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:17,799
if you'd just put on the hat
one last time,

1034
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,427
we have a killer idea.

1035
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:21,845
Oh.

1036
00:45:21,928 --> 00:45:25,432
Dundee is angry.
Why is he angry?

1037
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,476
Wait for it... His wife,
Sue, is dead.

1038
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,769
Dead?

1039
00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:31,271
Eaten by a crocodile.

1040
00:45:31,354 --> 00:45:33,064
You want revenge.

1041
00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:35,525
You enlist the help of a
gorgeous young park ranger

1042
00:45:35,608 --> 00:45:37,444
and boom! New love interest.

1043
00:45:37,527 --> 00:45:39,320
Sounds great. Sounds great.

1044
00:45:39,404 --> 00:45:41,656
You want to know who plays
the gorgeous park ranger?

1045
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,450
Rachel McAdams!

1046
00:45:43,533 --> 00:45:44,826
Wow!

1047
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:46,202
As the love interest.

1048
00:45:46,286 --> 00:45:47,579
Rachel McAdams?

1049
00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:49,414
No.

1050
00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:51,374
Oh, come on. You don't like
Rachel McAdams?

1051
00:45:51,458 --> 00:45:52,792
I love Rachel McAdams.

1052
00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:54,836
She's great. Okay?

1053
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:58,089
I'm bloody 80. She's, what, 30?

1054
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:01,217
He does have a point.

1055
00:46:01,301 --> 00:46:02,594
He's right.

1056
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,720
She's too old.

1057
00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:05,138
No, that's not what I'm...

1058
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,140
Do you have the list
for High School Musical?

1059
00:46:07,223 --> 00:46:08,558
Yep.

1060
00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:10,685
Selena Gomez!

1061
00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:11,769
Emma Watson.

1062
00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,104
Abigail Breslin!

1063
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:14,147
Yes!

1064
00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,900
No! No!

1065
00:46:18,151 --> 00:46:19,652
You know something?

1066
00:46:19,736 --> 00:46:22,405
You're actually being
very, very difficult.

1067
00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:23,865
Oh.

1068
00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:25,783
He does have a point.

1069
00:46:25,867 --> 00:46:27,452
Mr. Chase.

1070
00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:28,870
Paul.

1071
00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:30,121
Yeah.

1072
00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:31,873
Oh. So, yeah, thanks, Chevy.

1073
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,833
Oh, look at the time. Um...

1074
00:46:33,917 --> 00:46:36,461
Yeah, I've got to leave, Chevy.
I've got an appointment.

1075
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:39,005
Oh, really? Uh... Check, please.

1076
00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:40,632
Here. I'll fix it.

1077
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,175
No, don't be silly.

1078
00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:43,927
Put that away. I've got this.

1079
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:44,928
Are you sure?

1080
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:46,554
Of course. My pleasure.

1081
00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:48,765
With everything you have going
on, it's the least I can do.

1082
00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:51,184
Yeah. Thanks.

1083
00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:53,186
Good to see you.

1084
00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:56,356
Thanks.

1085
00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:57,732
Uh, excuse me?

1086
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,360
Was that Chevy Chase?

1087
00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:02,195
Yep.

1088
00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:04,489
He's lovely!

1089
00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:05,990
Uh, is he lovely?

1090
00:47:06,074 --> 00:47:08,618
Oh, yeah, he's...
he's, uh, very nice. Yeah.

1091
00:47:08,701 --> 00:47:10,954
I knew he would be.

1092
00:47:12,997 --> 00:47:14,791
Yep.

1093
00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,710
I love that guy.

1094
00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:21,214
National Lampoon's Vacation.
Fantastic.

1095
00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:24,092
Oi! He didn't pay
for his wine!

1096
00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:36,980
And that's all
from me, Ryan Elcar,

1097
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,565
and the team here at LA Local.

1098
00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:40,441
Be sure to keep watching
throughout the evening

1099
00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:42,110
for regular updates,

1100
00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:45,238
and tune from 5am tomorrow
when Suzanne O'Reilly

1101
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:47,907
takes you through what
you missed overnight...

1102
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:53,371
♪ I gave my love
a cherry

1103
00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:57,125
♪ That had no stone

1104
00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:01,462
♪ I gave my love a chicken

1105
00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:05,466
♪ That had no bones

1106
00:48:05,550 --> 00:48:09,429
♪ I gave my love a story

1107
00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:13,141
♪ That had no end

1108
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:17,395
♪ I gave my love a baby

1109
00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:18,646
♪ With no... ♪

1110
00:48:18,730 --> 00:48:19,772
Kid can sing.

1111
00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:24,027
Oh, yeah, I heard.
All right, look.

1112
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,404
When I first heard about
the snake incident,

1113
00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,197
I was pretty upset,
'cause I thought

1114
00:48:28,281 --> 00:48:29,616
Paul Hogan was already dead.

1115
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,075
He's been away so...

1116
00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:32,702
I have to go on stage
every time and,

1117
00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:34,746
"Is that a knife?
Is this not a knife?

1118
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,331
"Is that a microphone?"

1119
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:38,207
When asked about
their close friendship,

1120
00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:39,959
the Oscar-winner Gary Oldman

1121
00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:41,753
denied ever meeting
the troubled star...

1122
00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:43,588
Am I allowed to say
"-wit"?

1123
00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:44,714
He's a [bleep...

1124
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,174
Though, John Travolta

1125
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:47,508
refused to discuss Mr. Hogan.

1126
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:50,303
No. No. That's a very dangerous
thing.

1127
00:48:50,386 --> 00:48:52,305
However, he released
a statement:

1128
00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:54,098
"I don't care what he does,

1129
00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:56,017
"but the moment he stands
on stage with my Olivia

1130
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:59,979
"and tries to destroy our
legacy, he's gone too far."

1131
00:49:01,356 --> 00:49:03,983
Hey. When did you learn
to play guitar?

1132
00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:05,735
A couple of weeks ago.

1133
00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:07,153
Course.

1134
00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:08,279
You should come out.

1135
00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:09,280
We're gonna have a barbie,

1136
00:49:09,364 --> 00:49:10,281
play some more tunes.

1137
00:49:10,365 --> 00:49:11,616
Okay.

1138
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,660
Oh, I've got a Spanish lesson
at 8.

1139
00:49:13,743 --> 00:49:15,078
Make sure I don't forget,
all right?

1140
00:49:15,161 --> 00:49:16,788
You're learning
to speak Spanish?

1141
00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,706
No. Lo estoy enseñando.

1142
00:49:20,667 --> 00:49:22,669
I'm not. I'm teaching it.

1143
00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:24,712
Of course you are.

1144
00:49:26,756 --> 00:49:30,009
..the little support
Paul Hogan did once have

1145
00:49:30,093 --> 00:49:32,053
has disappeared completely.

1146
00:49:32,136 --> 00:49:34,889
Dad, you know no-one thinks
this stuff, right?

1147
00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:36,641
I hope not.

1148
00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:38,017
...gone off the
rails, right?

1149
00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:39,727
I don't care what anyone says.
I love him.

1150
00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:41,270
This is all right, though.

1151
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:42,563
I know he's had
a lot of criticism...

1152
00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:44,273
Ooh. She loves you.

1153
00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,277
See? You'll be right.

1154
00:49:48,361 --> 00:49:51,239
You know, when I was a kid, I
used to hide under the blankets

1155
00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:53,700
when he wrestled those
crocodiles and snakes.

1156
00:49:53,783 --> 00:49:56,869
And what about Bindi and Paul?
I mean...

1157
00:49:56,953 --> 00:49:58,663
No...

1158
00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:02,375
No, you're talking about Steve
Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.

1159
00:50:03,376 --> 00:50:04,919
Who did you ask about?

1160
00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:07,880
Crocodile Dundee.
Paul Hogan.

1161
00:50:07,964 --> 00:50:09,340
Oh, him.

1162
00:50:09,424 --> 00:50:11,008
Yeah, he's a dickhead.

1163
00:50:11,092 --> 00:50:12,844
All right, all right,
let me tell you

1164
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:14,804
what I think about
Mr. Paul Hogan...

1165
00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:18,433
Grandpa, have you
ever had anyone not like you?

1166
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:23,062
Uh, oh, yeah, maybe
one or two people.

1167
00:50:23,146 --> 00:50:24,814
What did you do?

1168
00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:28,025
Well, nothing. You can't force
people to like you, love.

1169
00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:30,862
Yeah, I mean,
when I started on television,

1170
00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:32,947
one of my aunties
was saying to me,

1171
00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:34,782
"Ooh, you shouldn't say that
on television,"

1172
00:50:34,866 --> 00:50:36,951
or, "You shouldn't do this," or,
"You shouldn't look like that.

1173
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:38,536
"People won't like you."

1174
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,539
But, you know, some people
will like you, some won't.

1175
00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:43,166
It's... You just be yourself.

1176
00:50:43,249 --> 00:50:45,585
You mean I shouldn't let people
know you're my grandpa

1177
00:50:45,668 --> 00:50:47,628
because you've been
upsetting them forever?

1178
00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:49,589
Uh...

1179
00:50:49,672 --> 00:50:52,216
Yeah, oh, well,
it's probably the safest thing

1180
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:53,718
just not to mention me.

1181
00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:58,097
Listen, your mum said the new
school's a bit tough for you.

1182
00:50:58,181 --> 00:50:59,891
Yeah.

1183
00:50:59,974 --> 00:51:02,560
Oh, well, look, it's not easy
when you go to a new school,

1184
00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:03,770
but you'll be fine.

1185
00:51:03,853 --> 00:51:04,771
Yeah.

1186
00:51:04,854 --> 00:51:05,980
Listen.

1187
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,940
I'm sorry if any of the stuff

1188
00:51:08,024 --> 00:51:09,859
that's been reported about me

1189
00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:12,320
makes it, uh...
a bit hard for you,

1190
00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:14,489
but, you know,
just don't worry about it.

1191
00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:15,990
You know, they make stuff up.

1192
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,493
That's not what Mum says!

1193
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:22,371
Oh, well... uh, Mum gets
confused sometimes.

1194
00:51:22,455 --> 00:51:24,832
But don't worry, Grandpa.
You're getting a knighthood.

1195
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:27,835
That'll make up for all of it.
No-one can take that away.

1196
00:51:27,919 --> 00:51:29,712
Oh, I hope not.

1197
00:51:29,796 --> 00:51:31,839
Oh, I drew this.

1198
00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:35,968
Ooh, did you do that?

1199
00:51:36,052 --> 00:51:39,305
Oh, you're really talented
for a 19-year-old kid.

1200
00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:41,557
I'm not 19, I'm 9!

1201
00:51:41,641 --> 00:51:43,726
Oh, you can't be 9!
You're too smart.

1202
00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:46,020
Thanks. But I just wanted
to show you that.

1203
00:51:47,313 --> 00:51:49,106
I'd better go. The Wizard
awaits.

1204
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:52,318
Oh. Yeah. Uh, how's that going?
How's that working out?

1205
00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:55,988
Pretty good. I can't wait
for you to watch me sometime.

1206
00:51:56,072 --> 00:51:57,240
Oh, I'd love to see it.

1207
00:51:58,324 --> 00:51:59,325
Bye, Pa.

1208
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:00,535
Yeah.

1209
00:52:00,618 --> 00:52:02,954
Bye, sweetie.

1210
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:38,322
Hey! I can see your foot
sticking out.

1211
00:52:41,242 --> 00:52:43,452
Come on, what are we doing?
Playing hide-and-seek?

1212
00:52:43,536 --> 00:52:45,204
No, we're not.

1213
00:52:51,878 --> 00:52:53,921
So, what are you doing
here, mate?

1214
00:52:54,005 --> 00:52:56,799
Well... I couldn't find Melrose.

1215
00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:00,970
All right, let's get it over
with.

1216
00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:03,264
How much will you get
for a photo of me?

1217
00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:05,224
Oh. Like, a hundred bucks.

1218
00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:07,685
100 bucks?

1219
00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:09,562
Yeah. I mean, that's if I'm
lucky.

1220
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:12,231
Oh. What about if I took my
shirt off

1221
00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:13,691
and I'm all sweaty, you know,

1222
00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:15,484
coming out of the gym
all pumped up and...

1223
00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:19,280
Ugh. No. Uh... 60, maybe?

1224
00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:20,448
Sixty?!

1225
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:21,449
Mm-hm.

1226
00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,662
Okay. Um...

1227
00:53:26,746 --> 00:53:29,332
What about a photo of me
with Kim Kardashian?

1228
00:53:29,415 --> 00:53:32,209
Now we're talking!
That would be amazing.

1229
00:53:32,293 --> 00:53:35,129
I could get, like, 30 grand.
Maybe even more.

1230
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:37,673
Well, I mean, that's just for
a photo of Kim, though.

1231
00:53:37,757 --> 00:53:38,841
Are you in it too?

1232
00:53:38,925 --> 00:53:39,884
Yeah.

1233
00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:43,220
Then it's, like, $120. Or less.

1234
00:53:43,304 --> 00:53:44,722
Oh!

1235
00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:46,724
Oh, don't worry.
I can crop you out of it.

1236
00:53:46,807 --> 00:53:48,893
I got an idea, Paul.

1237
00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:52,104
What if I, like, got photos of
you and, like, a new girlfriend?

1238
00:53:52,188 --> 00:53:53,814
No.

1239
00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:56,651
No, it could be good. It doesn't
have to be a girlfriend.

1240
00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:58,361
Maybe, like... a lover.

1241
00:53:59,612 --> 00:54:00,613
Forget about it.

1242
00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:01,906
We could set that up.

1243
00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:04,825
You know, I just met
a waitress at Denny's

1244
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,161
and she was really into
Australians.

1245
00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:09,830
I was like, "Oh, I know
an Australian!"

1246
00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:11,624
All right, listen.

1247
00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:13,167
You don't have a car, do you?

1248
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,127
Yeah, I... No, I don't.

1249
00:54:15,211 --> 00:54:16,629
Mmm. Okay.

1250
00:54:16,712 --> 00:54:17,755
Why?

1251
00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,840
Uh... No, I'd better not.

1252
00:54:19,924 --> 00:54:21,217
No, I promised my manager

1253
00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:22,969
I wouldn't get into
any more trouble.

1254
00:54:23,052 --> 00:54:25,805
Oh, oh, oh! Do the opposite!

1255
00:54:25,888 --> 00:54:28,933
Do whatever you said you
wouldn't do to your manager!

1256
00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:30,643
Do the opposite of that.

1257
00:54:30,726 --> 00:54:33,270
Let's do it! We'll do it
together! Paul, please!

1258
00:54:33,354 --> 00:54:35,439
Please! Please!

1259
00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:36,440
Oh...

1260
00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:39,860
So, where are we going?

1261
00:54:39,944 --> 00:54:41,821
We need to find stars.

1262
00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:44,073
Yeah, you know, like George
Clooney, Julia Roberts...

1263
00:54:44,156 --> 00:54:45,658
Kim Kardashian.

1264
00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:50,371
I, uh... I used to know
where Cary Grant lived.

1265
00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,373
Yeah, but, uh,
I think it's better

1266
00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:55,209
if we stick to celebrities
that are still alive.

1267
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:57,086
Okay. Betty White?

1268
00:54:57,169 --> 00:55:00,339
Oh... I mean, she's good.
It's just...

1269
00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:01,424
What night is it?

1270
00:55:01,507 --> 00:55:02,758
Uh, Wednesday, I think.

1271
00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:04,552
Oh. Well, I know where they are.

1272
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:05,803
Yeah?

1273
00:55:09,015 --> 00:55:10,349
Oh.

1274
00:55:12,393 --> 00:55:13,769
Crap!

1275
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:17,148
Oh. Well, don't panic.
It's just the police.

1276
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,525
Yeah, but they've got big guns.

1277
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:23,070
Yeah, but if you don't do
anything stupid, they're fine.

1278
00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:35,207
What are you doing?

1279
00:55:35,291 --> 00:55:38,711
Just, uh... I'm just waiting
for them to...

1280
00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:40,921
...get, uh...

1281
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:43,049
...out of the car.

1282
00:55:50,222 --> 00:55:51,140
Right!

1283
00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:17,500
Oh, I forgot. Do you guys want
mints or water or anything?

1284
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:19,418
Uh... no, fine for now, John.

1285
00:56:19,502 --> 00:56:21,378
What?! No!

1286
00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:32,223
Listen, you gotta... you gotta
pull over, talk to them!

1287
00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:35,601
Uh, no, no. I can't. I don't
have my driver's license.

1288
00:56:35,684 --> 00:56:37,645
Well, then just tell them
you left it at home!

1289
00:56:37,728 --> 00:56:41,023
No, I don't have
a driving license.

1290
00:56:41,107 --> 00:56:44,026
Come to think of it, I don't
even know whose car this is.

1291
00:56:44,110 --> 00:56:46,654
What?! Come on!

1292
00:56:53,285 --> 00:56:54,328
John!

1293
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,538
Get your camera out.

1294
00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:57,289
Why, so I can photograph
my own death?!

1295
00:56:57,373 --> 00:56:59,500
No, 'cause
just round this corner,

1296
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:02,211
there's gonna be
a mother lode of celebrities.

1297
00:57:02,294 --> 00:57:06,006
Oh! Let's tap it. Let's tap!

1298
00:57:19,145 --> 00:57:21,438
Stephanie. Tell us
about your latest role.

1299
00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,150
She's a hard-nosed FBI agent

1300
00:57:24,233 --> 00:57:26,485
that needs
a lot of people killed.

1301
00:57:26,569 --> 00:57:28,487
Oh. How fun.

1302
00:57:28,571 --> 00:57:29,989
Yes.

1303
00:57:30,072 --> 00:57:30,990
Yeah.

1304
00:57:38,873 --> 00:57:40,583
No, no, no, no, no, no...!

1305
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:44,003
Arggh! No!

1306
00:57:47,381 --> 00:57:51,343
Uh, there seems to be some kind
of disturbance happening.

1307
00:57:51,427 --> 00:57:53,345
Oh, this chase is getting
out of control.

1308
00:57:53,429 --> 00:57:56,599
Police are advising drivers
to avoid San Vicente Boulevard.

1309
00:57:56,682 --> 00:58:00,644
I never get tired
of searchlights.

1310
00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:04,190
Right, Luke, stay alert.
Kim Kardashian, two o'clock.

1311
00:58:04,273 --> 00:58:05,691
Can you slow down a bit?

1312
00:58:07,151 --> 00:58:08,819
I'm afraid
that won't be possible.

1313
00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:10,988
Oh, look. Brad Pitt.

1314
00:58:11,071 --> 00:58:12,114
Hey!

1315
00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:14,325
Did you get him?

1316
00:58:14,408 --> 00:58:15,326
No.

1317
00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:16,327
I nearly did.

1318
00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:17,453
Yeah, we noticed.

1319
00:58:26,045 --> 00:58:26,962
Uh-oh.

1320
00:58:27,046 --> 00:58:27,963
What was that?

1321
00:58:28,047 --> 00:58:29,715
I think it was Harvey Weinstein.

1322
00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,550
Mmm. Good.

1323
00:58:33,219 --> 00:58:34,345
Shit!

1324
00:58:46,774 --> 00:58:48,525
And whilst I can't
make out who's driving,

1325
00:58:48,609 --> 00:58:51,987
that is certainly Paul Hogan
in the passenger seat.

1326
00:58:52,071 --> 00:58:53,948
Well, drivers are now
in a panic.

1327
00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:56,325
The chase has moved
to the other side of the road.

1328
00:59:33,279 --> 00:59:35,489
Thanks, guys!
Don't forget to rate me.

1329
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,782
Five stars.

1330
00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:41,537
Hey, where's he going?!

1331
00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:43,205
Quick. Inside.

1332
00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:44,999
Hey, do you really think
that was Kim Kardashian?!

1333
00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,333
Just get inside the...!

1334
00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:47,835
Oh! Your place is gorgeous!

1335
00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:48,836
Come here!

1336
00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:49,837
You've got three garages?!

1337
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,213
You've got three cars?

1338
00:59:51,297 --> 00:59:52,339
Or is it just storage?

1339
00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,465
Oh, a tennis court!

1340
00:59:54,675 --> 00:59:56,093
That's awesome!

1341
00:59:56,176 --> 00:59:57,428
I played tennis in high school.

1342
00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:59,013
I'm actually pretty good
for my size.

1343
00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:01,140
Oh, look at the size
of these doors!

1344
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:02,224
Get in, get in!

1345
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:06,061
Whoa! Look at this place!

1346
01:00:06,145 --> 01:00:09,231
You've got chairs.
A coffee table.

1347
01:00:09,315 --> 01:00:12,109
A huge dining table.
You've got, like, eight pillows.

1348
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:13,819
Look at that.

1349
01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:15,612
What's that wind?

1350
01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:17,948
Oh, you've got a pool!
You've got a TV!

1351
01:00:19,366 --> 01:00:20,909
...the speed of the chase.

1352
01:00:20,993 --> 01:00:23,120
It was disgusting,
for heck's sake!

1353
01:00:23,203 --> 01:00:24,997
Oh, man!

1354
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:28,292
Police are advising drivers
to avoid San Vicente Boulevard.

1355
01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,878
The car has now been abandoned
in a residential area.

1356
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:33,839
LA people are so nuts!

1357
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,847
Paul, get in here!
You gotta check out the news!

1358
01:00:41,930 --> 01:00:43,265
Is that...

1359
01:00:43,349 --> 01:00:45,184
Yes, sadly, I believe

1360
01:00:45,267 --> 01:00:47,686
that is disgraced movie star
Paul Hogan.

1361
01:00:47,770 --> 01:00:50,939
In what can only be described
as a desperate cry for help,

1362
01:00:51,023 --> 01:00:52,983
it would appear the fallen icon

1363
01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:56,487
is now desperately trying
to relive his glory days.

1364
01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:57,946
Paul!

1365
01:00:59,323 --> 01:01:00,449
Paul! Whoa!

1366
01:01:00,532 --> 01:01:02,409
This may be the saddest thing

1367
01:01:02,493 --> 01:01:05,662
this jaded old journalist
has ever seen.

1368
01:01:05,746 --> 01:01:08,290
Paul! Paul!

1369
01:01:08,374 --> 01:01:10,834
Paul, you're on the news! Look!

1370
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,504
It appears a lady has run
from the house,

1371
01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:16,048
trying to plead with
the troubled Hogan.

1372
01:01:16,131 --> 01:01:17,800
Uh...

1373
01:01:22,137 --> 01:01:25,099
The lady is down.
The lady is down.

1374
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,619
You got a light, buddy?

1375
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,123
Yeah, sure, kid. There you go.

1376
01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:51,375
And your wallet.

1377
01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:55,129
Mickey, give him your wallet.

1378
01:01:55,212 --> 01:01:56,380
What for?

1379
01:01:56,463 --> 01:01:58,090
He's got a knife!

1380
01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:12,896
♪ You wave that shiny
little thing in my face

1381
01:02:12,980 --> 01:02:15,816
♪ But, kid, your piece of
cutlery's a bloody disgrace

1382
01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:19,236
♪ You look at me as if
I should now run for my life

1383
01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:22,030
♪ But that's not a knife

1384
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:25,367
♪ You think your little toy
is gonna fill me with dread

1385
01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:28,495
♪ But you should take that home
and file your toenails instead

1386
01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:31,957
♪ You're embarrassing yourself
in front of my future wife

1387
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,960
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife

1388
01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:38,213
♪ You should turn away
from your life of crime

1389
01:02:38,297 --> 01:02:41,592
♪ Do something more worthwhile
with your time

1390
01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:44,678
♪ Buddy, why you lookin'
so deflated?

1391
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:49,683
♪ Maybe 'cause your implement
is not serrated

1392
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,104
♪ I can see you're not
the sharpest tool in the shed

1393
01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:57,441
♪ But I wouldn't use that
little thing to butter my bread

1394
01:02:57,524 --> 01:03:00,486
♪ Kid, if I were you,
I'd bloody run for my life

1395
01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:02,154
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife

1396
01:03:02,237 --> 01:03:03,363
♪ That's not a knife

1397
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:05,240
♪ No, that's not a knife

1398
01:03:05,324 --> 01:03:06,783
♪ That's not a knife

1399
01:03:06,867 --> 01:03:09,119
♪ No, that's not a knife

1400
01:03:09,203 --> 01:03:11,288
♪ That's a knife

1401
01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:12,331
♪ Oh!

1402
01:03:12,414 --> 01:03:14,541
♪ Yes, that is a knife

1403
01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:17,503
♪ That is definitely a knife

1404
01:03:17,586 --> 01:03:21,131
♪ Remarkable sharpness
and purity

1405
01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:24,134
♪ How'd he get that
through airport security?

1406
01:03:24,218 --> 01:03:27,679
♪ I should be feeling
fear and loathing

1407
01:03:27,763 --> 01:03:34,061
♪ Scariest thing about you
is your choice of clothing

1408
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:37,105
♪ Buddy, here's a little piece
of friendly advice

1409
01:03:37,189 --> 01:03:40,359
♪ Threatening people
on the street is not very nice

1410
01:03:40,442 --> 01:03:43,278
♪ So go sit somewhere quietly
and keep out of strife

1411
01:03:43,362 --> 01:03:46,490
♪ Then you won't need a knife

1412
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:49,409
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife

1413
01:03:49,493 --> 01:03:52,788
♪ Yeah, that's not a knife

1414
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,706
♪ That's the knife

1415
01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:59,253
♪ So, keep sharpened up... ♪

1416
01:04:04,383 --> 01:04:07,386
Hey, Hogan. You made bail.

1417
01:04:15,227 --> 01:04:16,687
Well, look, in my defense,

1418
01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:19,064
I had no idea we'd be trying
to escape from the cops

1419
01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:23,026
in a... televised
high-speed pursuit...

1420
01:04:23,110 --> 01:04:26,863
...with an unlicensed John
Cleese driving a stolen car.

1421
01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:33,745
It is
certainly

1422
01:04:33,829 --> 01:04:35,122
the story that won't go away

1423
01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:37,082
as disgraced racist nun-basher

1424
01:04:37,165 --> 01:04:39,710
and former Australian legend
Paul Hogan

1425
01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:42,170
implodes before our very eyes.

1426
01:04:42,254 --> 01:04:44,715
...Margot Robbie and Paul Hogan
becoming friends

1427
01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:47,676
while shooting that
Australian tourism commercial.

1428
01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,803
We have Margot
in our LA studio.

1429
01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:51,972
Margot, I want to start
by asking,

1430
01:04:52,055 --> 01:04:54,850
have you reached out to your
troubled friend at all?

1431
01:04:56,727 --> 01:04:57,644
Margot!

1432
01:04:57,728 --> 01:04:58,645
Margot?

1433
01:05:01,732 --> 01:05:05,527
Margot Robbie in... in LA,
can you hear me?

1434
01:05:05,611 --> 01:05:07,112
She's, uh, gone, chief.

1435
01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:08,071
Margot?

1436
01:05:09,156 --> 01:05:10,866
Margot!

1437
01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:13,952
...with Hogan quickly
becoming a global punchline...

1438
01:05:14,036 --> 01:05:15,787
...Australia, the Flipper...

1439
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:19,541
...and I can't believe
he hasn't been #MeToo'd yet.

1440
01:05:19,625 --> 01:05:22,085
When will his reign
of madness end?

1441
01:05:22,169 --> 01:05:24,630
And your old mate Paul Hogan...
What's going on there?

1442
01:05:24,713 --> 01:05:26,089
Does he need professional help?

1443
01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:27,591
I don't know.
There's not a great deal...

1444
01:05:27,674 --> 01:05:29,259
It doesn't bear
too much analysis.

1445
01:05:29,343 --> 01:05:31,053
I mean, this is
pretty silly stuff.

1446
01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:33,138
Yeah, fair, pretty silly,
but I've got to admit,

1447
01:05:33,221 --> 01:05:35,265
I'm actually surprised
by how funny he is.

1448
01:05:35,349 --> 01:05:37,184
And he's kind of
off the wall too.

1449
01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:40,103
I mean, there's recesses
in this guy's brain

1450
01:05:40,187 --> 01:05:42,022
that are kind of pretty wild.

1451
01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:43,607
I've got a joke for you, right?

1452
01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:45,275
What do you call the fastest
Australian in the world?

1453
01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:46,276
Paul!

1454
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:47,277
The fastest what?

1455
01:05:47,361 --> 01:05:48,654
Australian.

1456
01:05:49,905 --> 01:05:51,406
Paul Ho-GUN!

1457
01:05:51,490 --> 01:05:53,033
Oh, wait. I've got one.

1458
01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:55,369
What does Paul say when
he'd like the escort to leave?

1459
01:05:57,037 --> 01:05:58,664
Carol's here!

1460
01:05:58,747 --> 01:06:00,582
I don't know how she found me!
You haven't seen me!

1461
01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,793
Mate, your timing
couldn't be worse!

1462
01:06:04,044 --> 01:06:06,046
Just tell her
you haven't seen me.

1463
01:06:06,129 --> 01:06:08,131
I can't lie to Carol.
She's an angel.

1464
01:06:08,215 --> 01:06:12,219
No matter what she says,
you have no idea where I am!

1465
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:13,428
Good luck!

1466
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:15,806
Shit!

1467
01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:17,391
Please, God! Please!

1468
01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:18,934
Please! I beg you!

1469
01:06:19,017 --> 01:06:20,769
Oh, bloody hell!

1470
01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:23,480
Wait, I've got one. What do you
call Paul Hogan's latest movie?

1471
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:24,523
I don't know.

1472
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:25,691
Who cares?

1473
01:06:27,359 --> 01:06:28,276
Oh.

1474
01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:29,528
Oh. Oh, hi, Carol.

1475
01:06:29,611 --> 01:06:32,030
Hi, Paul. Uh, these are for you.

1476
01:06:32,114 --> 01:06:33,615
Oh, thank you.

1477
01:06:33,699 --> 01:06:35,450
Well, I thought it was
the least that I could do

1478
01:06:35,534 --> 01:06:38,120
with you having to put up with
him and all that noise.

1479
01:06:38,203 --> 01:06:40,497
Ah. Um, put up with what?

1480
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,832
What?

1481
01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:42,791
With Wayne.

1482
01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:45,127
Wayne?

1483
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:46,795
Where is he, Paul?

1484
01:06:46,878 --> 01:06:48,338
Uh, who?

1485
01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,506
Wayne.

1486
01:06:49,589 --> 01:06:50,632
Wayne?

1487
01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:51,675
Mmm.

1488
01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:53,927
Oh. Uh, uh... haven't seen him.

1489
01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:56,179
Really? Oh.

1490
01:06:57,431 --> 01:06:58,348
Yeah.

1491
01:06:58,432 --> 01:06:59,307
I...

1492
01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:04,896
Paul, I'm gonna need you
to be honest with me.

1493
01:07:04,980 --> 01:07:07,190
Oh, of course. Yeah.

1494
01:07:07,274 --> 01:07:08,650
Have you seen my husband?

1495
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:12,154
Wayne? Uh...

1496
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,865
...n-no. Uh...

1497
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:19,578
Okay.

1498
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:22,122
Um... I'm sorry.

1499
01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:24,583
Oh, no, that's okay.
Knowing Wayne, he's probably...

1500
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:26,793
Sorry, sweetheart.

1501
01:07:26,877 --> 01:07:28,879
New-show jitters.
You know how I am.

1502
01:07:28,962 --> 01:07:30,464
Ah. Why, you lying little...

1503
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:31,882
Oh, no, hey, but he told me...

1504
01:07:31,965 --> 01:07:33,550
Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.
Don't look at me.

1505
01:07:33,633 --> 01:07:35,260
No, you gave it away
the minute you opened the door.

1506
01:07:35,343 --> 01:07:36,678
You looked so guilty.

1507
01:07:36,762 --> 01:07:38,764
I am very disappointed with you.

1508
01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:40,640
That makes two of us.

1509
01:07:40,724 --> 01:07:42,851
Yeah, I read the press.
I was gonna leave anyway.

1510
01:07:42,934 --> 01:07:44,853
Oh, and I'd give that robe
a wash.

1511
01:07:44,936 --> 01:07:48,565
Yes. Oh, b-b-b-b... mwah!

1512
01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:50,901
Bye.

1513
01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:51,902
Uh...

1514
01:07:56,114 --> 01:07:58,533
One thing
that is safe to say

1515
01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:01,495
is the once loved Mr. Dundee

1516
01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:04,915
doesn't have a friend left
in the world.

1517
01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:13,965
Got a letter from the palace.

1518
01:08:14,049 --> 01:08:15,592
Oh.

1519
01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:19,179
Well... I guess we both know
what this says.

1520
01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,473
Yeah. I think so.

1521
01:08:21,556 --> 01:08:24,768
Oh. Dunno how
I'm gonna tell Lucy, though.

1522
01:08:24,851 --> 01:08:29,022
Yeah. Well, people are
just sort of... so angry at me.

1523
01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:31,399
I don't know what
I'm gonna tell my mom.

1524
01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:35,862
I wish my dad was here.
He'd know what to do.

1525
01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:37,864
Hey. You did a great job.

1526
01:08:37,948 --> 01:08:40,909
You were just, uh...
trying to manage a boofhead.

1527
01:08:43,245 --> 01:08:46,122
Well, I was managing a
boofhead.

1528
01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:48,708
Yeah.

1529
01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:49,918
Gonna be okay?

1530
01:08:50,001 --> 01:08:51,628
Yeah.

1531
01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:53,839
You know...

1532
01:08:53,922 --> 01:08:56,800
...I've always wanted
to make something for kids.

1533
01:08:56,883 --> 01:08:58,301
You should.

1534
01:08:58,385 --> 01:09:01,888
Yeah. I'll find something.

1535
01:09:04,933 --> 01:09:07,561
I wasn't really much of
a manager anyway.

1536
01:09:38,425 --> 01:09:39,509
Nope.

1537
01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:48,745
Hello, Paul.

1538
01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:49,746
Oh.

1539
01:10:49,829 --> 01:10:50,830
I'm Ella.

1540
01:10:50,914 --> 01:10:52,374
Oh. I'm Paul.

1541
01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:54,000
Hello.

1542
01:10:54,084 --> 01:10:55,001
Hello, Ella.

1543
01:10:55,085 --> 01:10:56,002
Hi.

1544
01:10:56,086 --> 01:10:57,003
Oh, goodness.

1545
01:10:57,087 --> 01:10:58,880
So, the others aren't here yet?

1546
01:10:58,964 --> 01:10:59,881
Uh, no.

1547
01:11:01,007 --> 01:11:02,968
Ooh. Sorry. Gosh.

1548
01:11:03,051 --> 01:11:05,220
That's me. How rude.

1549
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,221
Sorry!

1550
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,263
No, it's fine.

1551
01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:08,640
Oh, it's Livvy.

1552
01:11:08,723 --> 01:11:10,809
Um... Oh.

1553
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:14,479
"Running late. Be there soon."

1554
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:18,441
Uh-huh.

1555
01:11:18,525 --> 01:11:19,985
Right.

1556
01:11:25,532 --> 01:11:27,909
Do you get the feeling
this is a set-up?

1557
01:11:27,993 --> 01:11:29,703
I'm starting to, yes.

1558
01:11:31,329 --> 01:11:34,207
Oh, dear. Ahem.

1559
01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:35,667
Oh, Livvy. I'll kill her.

1560
01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:38,044
Oh, I love your dress.

1561
01:11:38,128 --> 01:11:39,963
Uh... it's a top.

1562
01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:42,048
But thank you.

1563
01:11:42,132 --> 01:11:43,508
Of course it's a top.

1564
01:11:43,591 --> 01:11:45,176
Oh, my goodness.

1565
01:11:45,260 --> 01:11:47,804
These things are always
awkward, aren't they?

1566
01:11:47,887 --> 01:11:49,347
What?

1567
01:11:49,431 --> 01:11:50,682
Dates.

1568
01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:52,642
Actually, I wouldn't know.

1569
01:11:52,726 --> 01:11:55,186
I haven't been on a date
since man walked on the moon.

1570
01:11:56,771 --> 01:11:58,273
Half a century ago.

1571
01:11:58,356 --> 01:11:59,816
Goodness.

1572
01:11:59,899 --> 01:12:01,860
If you took you another
half-century to go on a date,

1573
01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:02,902
it must have been a bad one.

1574
01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:05,071
It was pretty bad, actually.

1575
01:12:07,490 --> 01:12:08,950
Well, anyway...

1576
01:12:09,034 --> 01:12:11,077
I'm... I'm glad you're here.

1577
01:12:11,161 --> 01:12:13,329
I'm glad too.

1578
01:12:15,415 --> 01:12:17,584
Oh, my goodness!

1579
01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,502
I think that's Chevy Chase.

1580
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:21,129
Just slid
right off the table.

1581
01:12:21,212 --> 01:12:22,422
Course it's him.

1582
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:24,591
He's pretty good.
He won an Academy Award.

1583
01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:25,967
Oh, really? Oh.

1584
01:12:26,051 --> 01:12:27,427
You need
to have these fixed.

1585
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:28,845
I didn't know that.

1586
01:12:29,721 --> 01:12:31,347
Good evening.

1587
01:12:31,431 --> 01:12:33,308
Could I interest you in
our wine list this evening?

1588
01:12:33,391 --> 01:12:34,726
Oh, y-yes, please.

1589
01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:36,311
Certainly, sir.

1590
01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:37,645
Thank you.

1591
01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:45,653
Um... is it okay if I make
a tiny little confession?

1592
01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:47,238
Yeah.

1593
01:12:47,322 --> 01:12:53,286
I... may not be an innocent
bystander in all of this.

1594
01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:56,581
I might... have had
a conversation

1595
01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:58,291
with Olivia beforehand.

1596
01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:02,462
Oh. Yeah, I'll be having
a little chat to Olivia.

1597
01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:13,098
He's got my keys!

1598
01:13:13,181 --> 01:13:14,808
Stop him! Somebody stop him!

1599
01:13:14,891 --> 01:13:15,809
Oh.

1600
01:13:15,892 --> 01:13:17,143
A-are you okay?

1601
01:13:17,227 --> 01:13:18,645
Yeah. Uh, back in a sec.

1602
01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:27,445
Over there!

1603
01:13:27,529 --> 01:13:30,115
Stop him! Somebody stop him!
It's the Phantom Valet!

1604
01:13:30,198 --> 01:13:32,367
I know it is! Somebody stop him!

1605
01:14:28,047 --> 01:14:29,340
I've still got it.

1606
01:14:29,424 --> 01:14:31,050
Not bad!

1607
01:14:33,553 --> 01:14:34,971
Like a scene
from the movie itself,

1608
01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:37,348
much loved Aussie star
Paul Hogan is back

1609
01:14:37,432 --> 01:14:40,435
and reminding us of
what he is truly made of.

1610
01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,979
However, the same cannot be
said for another comedy icon:

1611
01:14:43,062 --> 01:14:45,398
Chevy Chase,
whose downfall has begun

1612
01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:47,734
as he was dragged
from an LA eatery

1613
01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,277
for displacing condiments.

1614
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:51,821
The troubled star was heard
to be screaming:

1615
01:14:51,905 --> 01:14:53,531
"But I won an Oscar!"

1616
01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:56,326
Wait. He won an Oscar?

1617
01:15:00,330 --> 01:15:06,044
♪ We cut through glaciers
And coastline by the afternoon

1618
01:15:09,005 --> 01:15:11,549
♪ Rivers cut through
The gorge ♪

1619
01:15:11,633 --> 01:15:14,177
♪ And the water's clean
And the water's smooth ♪

1620
01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:21,226
♪ See, I've been trying
To move along, move along ♪

1621
01:15:21,309 --> 01:15:25,104
♪ Concepting to keeping strong
For far too long ♪

1622
01:15:25,188 --> 01:15:28,358
♪ When all I had to do
Was rest my head... ♪

1623
01:15:29,776 --> 01:15:31,152
Your photos are amazing!

1624
01:15:31,236 --> 01:15:32,153
Oh. Yeah.

1625
01:15:33,071 --> 01:15:34,155
Thank you so much.

1626
01:15:34,239 --> 01:15:35,114
Uh-huh.

1627
01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:45,124
I can't believe
you've pulled this together.

1628
01:15:45,208 --> 01:15:47,460
To be honest...

1629
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,505
I always thought
you wouldn't amount to much.

1630
01:15:51,589 --> 01:15:53,049
Thank you...

1631
01:15:53,132 --> 01:15:54,884
Mom.

1632
01:15:57,845 --> 01:16:02,141
♪ Oh-ho, that's in gold ♪

1633
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:06,813
How'd he get the idea?

1634
01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:10,525
He is a genius.

1635
01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:14,862
♪ And it doesn't
Feel right anymore ♪

1636
01:16:18,157 --> 01:16:19,325
Hello?

1637
01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:21,452
Hey! How's it going back there?

1638
01:16:21,536 --> 01:16:22,745
Ah. All set.

1639
01:16:22,829 --> 01:16:24,789
It's pretty amazing
out here too.

1640
01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:27,792
I've never seen so much
privilege in one place.

1641
01:16:27,875 --> 01:16:30,211
Well, I hope your mum
fits right in.

1642
01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:31,671
She does.

1643
01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:34,173
Can you believe
they changed their minds?

1644
01:16:34,257 --> 01:16:36,718
Yeah.

1645
01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,678
Oh. Um, I'd better let you go.

1646
01:16:44,225 --> 01:16:45,643
Nah.

1647
01:16:45,727 --> 01:16:49,772
It is with tremendous
excitement and gratitude

1648
01:16:49,856 --> 01:16:51,941
that today we honor
Mr. Paul Hogan,

1649
01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:55,236
the star of Her Majesty's
favorite movie,

1650
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:57,780
Crocodile Dundee III.

1651
01:16:57,864 --> 01:17:01,200
Unfortunately, Mr. Hogan
couldn't be here today,

1652
01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:04,203
as he had somewhere
important to be.

1653
01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:32,023
♪ Oh-ho, it's in gold ♪

1654
01:17:34,067 --> 01:17:35,735
♪ See, I've been trying ♪

1655
01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:37,320
Thank you.

1656
01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:44,410
♪ And it doesn't
Feel right anymore ♪

1657
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,171
And Paul Hogan is
back in the news

1658
01:17:55,254 --> 01:17:58,716
after failing to turn up to an
appearance on The Tonight Show.

1659
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,551
Grandpa!

1660
01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:05,223
♪ On our own ♪

1661
01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:11,104
♪ We don't have to do this
On our own ♪

1662
01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:12,855
You made it!

1663
01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:14,524
Oh, yeah.
Wouldn't want to miss this.

1664
01:18:14,607 --> 01:18:15,650
Is it true?

1665
01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:17,151
Yeah, I'm really here.

1666
01:18:20,321 --> 01:18:22,323
But what about Chase?

1667
01:18:22,407 --> 01:18:29,288
♪ See, I've been trying
To hold on to this all alone ♪

1668
01:18:42,927 --> 01:18:46,556
And accepting
on Mr. Hogan's behalf,

1669
01:18:46,639 --> 01:18:48,641
Miss Angie Douglas.

1670
01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:58,901
With the subject now,

1671
01:18:58,985 --> 01:19:01,571
heading eastward
towards the 405.

1672
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:05,158
All officers, be warned,
it is John Cleese.

1673
01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:42,862
Hello!

1674
01:19:42,945 --> 01:19:44,489
Hi. Oh, you found the place.

1675
01:19:44,572 --> 01:19:45,656
Yeah. Great
directions.

1676
01:19:45,740 --> 01:19:46,699
Yeah.

1677
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,950
Hello!

1678
01:19:48,034 --> 01:19:49,452
He's a little sweetie, isn't he?

1679
01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,829
Hello! Oh, my goodness! Hi!

1680
01:19:51,913 --> 01:19:52,914
Oh, wow!

1681
01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:54,081
Paddy!

1682
01:19:54,165 --> 01:19:57,376
Oh, my goodness!
Hello, gorgeous!

1683
01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,962
Hello, g...
Oh, they're gorgeous.

1684
01:20:00,046 --> 01:20:01,964
What's her name? Oh, my heavens!

1685
01:20:02,048 --> 01:20:03,007
Paddy.

1686
01:20:03,090 --> 01:20:04,008
Hello, Paddy!

1687
01:20:04,091 --> 01:20:05,009
Wow!

1688
01:20:05,092 --> 01:20:06,010
Yeah.

1689
01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:07,595
How lucky are we?

1690
01:20:07,678 --> 01:20:10,389
Oh, it's so gorgeous here.

1691
01:20:21,275 --> 01:20:22,944
Come and play, Grandpa!

1692
01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:25,780
Oh, later, sweetheart.
I gotta have my power nap.

1693
01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:27,114
Okay.

1694
01:20:27,198 --> 01:20:28,074
Okay.

1695
01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:39,168
Ah!

1696
01:20:51,931 --> 01:20:54,225
♪ Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey

1697
01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:56,435
♪ Hello, my ragtime gal

1698
01:20:56,519 --> 01:20:58,938
♪ Send me a kiss by wire

1699
01:20:59,021 --> 01:21:00,731
♪ Baby, my heart's on fire

1700
01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:02,567
♪ If you refuse me,
honey, you'll lose me

1701
01:21:02,650 --> 01:21:03,609
Oh, shit.

1702
01:21:03,693 --> 01:21:05,319
♪ Then you'll be left alone

1703
01:21:05,403 --> 01:21:09,991
♪ Oh, baby, telephone
and tell me I'm your own! ♪

1704
01:21:11,576 --> 01:21:13,536
♪ Got me feeling ♪

1705
01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:15,413
♪ Got me feeling good ♪

1706
01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:19,750
♪ All the rocky roads ♪

1707
01:21:19,834 --> 01:21:23,462
♪ Never felt so smooth ♪

1708
01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:26,924
♪ I will shake to left
And shake to the right ♪

1709
01:21:27,008 --> 01:21:29,510
♪ Shake it all day
Then I shake it all night ♪

1710
01:21:29,594 --> 01:21:31,470
♪ Got me feeling ♪

1711
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:34,849
♪ Got me feeling good ♪

1712
01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:37,852
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1713
01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:40,771
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1714
01:21:40,855 --> 01:21:43,899
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1715
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:47,028
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1716
01:21:47,111 --> 01:21:49,947
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1717
01:21:50,031 --> 01:21:52,908
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1718
01:21:52,992 --> 01:21:56,037
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1719
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:59,915
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1720
01:21:59,999 --> 01:22:02,043
♪ Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good ♪

1721
01:22:02,126 --> 01:22:03,794
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪

1722
01:22:03,878 --> 01:22:05,254
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪

1723
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,555
Now, that's a...

1724
01:22:14,639 --> 01:22:17,558
really dumb way to shave.

1725
01:22:17,642 --> 01:22:19,685
♪ Gotta cut off ♪

1726
01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:22,229
♪ All my troublesome blues ♪

1727
01:22:22,313 --> 01:22:23,648
♪ Hey ♪

1728
01:22:23,731 --> 01:22:25,691
♪ Got me feeling like ♪

1729
01:22:25,775 --> 01:22:27,652
♪ I got nothing to lose ♪

1730
01:22:27,735 --> 01:22:29,362
♪ Hoo-hoo ♪

1731
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:32,615
♪ I will shake to left
And shake to the right ♪

1732
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:35,660
♪ Shake it all day
Then I shake it all night ♪

1733
01:22:35,743 --> 01:22:37,787
♪ Got me feeling ♪

1734
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:41,123
♪ Got me feeling good
Now, now, now ♪

1735
01:22:41,207 --> 01:22:44,043
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1736
01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:46,712
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1737
01:22:46,796 --> 01:22:50,049
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1738
01:22:50,132 --> 01:22:53,094
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1739
01:22:53,177 --> 01:22:56,180
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1740
01:22:56,263 --> 01:22:58,974
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1741
01:22:59,058 --> 01:23:02,186
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1742
01:23:02,269 --> 01:23:05,439
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1743
01:23:05,523 --> 01:23:08,275
♪ You've got me feeling good
Got me feeling good ♪

1744
01:23:08,359 --> 01:23:11,612
♪ Got me feeling good, good
Got me feeling good, good ♪

1745
01:23:11,696 --> 01:23:14,365
♪ You've got me feeling good
Got me feeling good ♪

1746
01:23:14,448 --> 01:23:17,618
♪ Got me feeling good, good
Got me feeling good, good ♪

1747
01:23:17,702 --> 01:23:19,495
♪ Yeah, you've got me
Feeling good ♪

1748
01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:21,914
♪ Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good, good ♪

1749
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,666
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪

1750
01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:25,543
♪ Yeah, you've got me
Feeling good ♪

1751
01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:27,962
♪ Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good, good ♪

1752
01:23:28,045 --> 01:23:29,672
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪

1753
01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:32,216
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1754
01:23:32,299 --> 01:23:34,969
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1755
01:23:35,052 --> 01:23:38,139
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1756
01:23:38,222 --> 01:23:41,016
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1757
01:23:41,100 --> 01:23:44,103
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1758
01:23:44,186 --> 01:23:46,772
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪

1759
01:23:46,856 --> 01:23:50,192
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1760
01:23:50,276 --> 01:23:54,196
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪

1761
01:26:31,395 --> 01:26:34,148
♪ You wave the shiny
Little thing in my face ♪

1762
01:26:34,231 --> 01:26:37,568
♪ But kid, your piece of
cutlery Is quite a disgrace ♪

1763
01:26:37,651 --> 01:26:40,821
♪ You look at me as if
I should now run for my life ♪

1764
01:26:40,905 --> 01:26:43,324
♪ But that's not a knife ♪

1765
01:26:43,407 --> 01:26:46,911
♪ You think your little toy
Is gonna fill me with dread ♪

1766
01:26:46,994 --> 01:26:50,080
♪ But you should take that home
File your toenails instead ♪

1767
01:26:50,164 --> 01:26:53,500
♪ You're embarrassing yourself
In front of my future wife ♪

1768
01:26:53,584 --> 01:26:56,337
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife ♪

1769
01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:59,798
♪ You should turn away
From your life of crime ♪

1770
01:26:59,882 --> 01:27:03,177
♪ Do something more worthwhile
With your time ♪

1771
01:27:03,260 --> 01:27:06,305
♪ Buddy, why you looking
So deflated?

1772
01:27:06,388 --> 01:27:12,353
♪ Maybe 'cause your implement
Is not serrated ♪

1773
01:27:12,436 --> 01:27:15,689
♪ I can see you're not
The sharpest tool in the shed ♪

1774
01:27:15,773 --> 01:27:17,650
♪ But I wouldn't use
That little thing ♪

1775
01:27:17,733 --> 01:27:19,610
♪ To butter my bread ♪

1776
01:27:19,693 --> 01:27:22,279
♪ Kid, if I were you
I'd bloody run for my life ♪

1777
01:27:22,363 --> 01:27:25,074
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife ♪

1778
01:27:25,157 --> 01:27:28,243
♪ No, that's not a knife ♪

1779
01:27:28,327 --> 01:27:31,372
♪ No, that's not a knife ♪

1780
01:27:31,455 --> 01:27:33,123
♪ That's a knife ♪

1781
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,043
♪ Oh, yes, that is a knife ♪

1782
01:27:36,126 --> 01:27:38,921
♪ That is definitely a knife ♪

1783
01:27:39,004 --> 01:27:44,301
♪ That's a knife ♪

1784
01:27:44,385 --> 01:27:45,552
That's a knife.

1785
01:27:50,104 --> 01:27:55,104
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