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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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And now, in a scene
as old as time itself,
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the female, now a
mother, presents her baby
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to the father. It's a tense moment.
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Males have been known
to reject their young
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if they are in any doubt
as to whether or not
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they are the father.
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Or even to eat them.
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Oh, please don't eat your baby.
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Ooh, fuck. Ugh.
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I'm going to bed.
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All right, babe, I'll be in.
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I just want to finish this reel.
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Do you ever get strong
parental feelings?
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Overpowering?
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Um... No.
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Uh, well, I just finished
watching this, uh, program
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about baby gorillas in the Congo,
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and I don't know, I...
I started lactating.
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That's disgusting.
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Well, don't you get bored of yourself?
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Of your happiness?
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Your mindfulness? Of your running?
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Your career?
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I get so bored of "me."
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Mm-hmm, yeah, I...
I know what you mean.
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Honey, I feel incomplete.
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Well, let's discuss it sometime.
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I'll click the kettle.
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Well, we could do IVF
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- like my friends Charlie and Mike.
- What did they do?
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They paid some poor lady in
India to be their surrogate,
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and then they mixed up their sperm
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so they wouldn't find out which
one of them fertilized the egg.
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- Did that work?
- Sure, they've got a beautiful
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00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,949
three-year-old who looks
exactly like Charlie.
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And what happened to
the poor Indian lady?
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I don't know. I guess she
ate really well for a year.
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Mm. Okay, what about adopting?
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That makes sense. I have no desire
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to bring another human
being into the world.
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No. Me, neither. So...
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Right. Well, what are we gonna do?
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Are we gonna really think about it?
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And so, Tobin and Andy
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begin their reproductive journey,
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here in the city of New York.
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It will be an adventure full
of excitement, disappointment,
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laughter, tears, and an
astounding amount of paperwork.
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So, have you guys thought
about open adoption, too?
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Um... Do you guys do that?
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Everyone does now.
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The birth mother has as
much or as little access
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with the child as the
three of you agree.
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And you would be legal
guardians, of course.
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That sounds... awesome.
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- I... I think we'd like that.
- Okay.
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Well, let me give you a
little paperwork to fill out.
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- Oh.
- And I'll get you
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- in my database.
- That is a whole tree
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of paperwork.
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What exactly did you expect
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was gonna happen today, Andy?
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- He brought a car seat today.
- Well...
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- Oh...
- I... Shut up, I did not.
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It's her.
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- Huh?
- It's her.
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Oh.
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- Okay. Hey, Trina.
- All right, all right, all right.
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How you guys holding up?
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- We're okay, yeah.
- Good.
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Okay. So, this one did not pan out.
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Yeah, I'm sorry.
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She got cold feet.
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Was it, was it the gay thing again?
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No, I don't believe so.
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Jesus, how hard can
it be for two employed,
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home-owning homosexuals
to start a family?
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I thought we would
have quintuplets by now.
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- I know. I... I do have one more idea.
- Quintuplets?
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- Yeah.
- It's a long shot.
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She came into our office
recently and liked your file.
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But she's a little...
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Little what?
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You know what? You should just meet her.
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How about Thursday?
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- Okay.
- Yeah.
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Oh!
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- Whoa. Jesus.
- Holy shit.
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- You ready for this?
- This is it.
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Hey.
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- Hey.
- Hey.
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Are you Karla?
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Yeah. Tobin and Andy, right?
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- Other way...
- Oh. Sorry.
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Tobin. Andy.
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- Oh, sit. Sorry.
- Yeah. Yeah.
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- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
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Feels like an interview.
100
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But who's interviewing who?
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Well, you should be
interviewing us, I guess.
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I mean, we're the ones
who want your baby.
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Right.
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Who are you?
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- Who, me or him?
- As a couple.
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I don't care about you as individuals.
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Who are you as a couple, and...
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why are you the ones to
take care of my baby boy?
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Or girl. I haven't checked. Go.
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Uh...
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well, when we first met, at a party,
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uh, I was coming down with the flu.
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I could feel it in my bones.
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And I knew I should go home,
but he was so interesting,
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so we spent the entire night
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walking around the city until dawn
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on the coldest night of the year.
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The next day, my mom
admits me into the hospital.
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- I had double pneumonia.
- Fuck.
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And he didn't know anything about this,
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because I lost his number
on the way to the hospital.
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So for three days of...
of fever and hallucination,
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all I'm thinking is,
"Oh, no, he's gonna think
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- that I don't care."
- Right.
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Also, he's, like, a
decade older than me,
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so he's punching above his weight.
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But when I came to, he was there,
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at my bedside.
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Wait. How did you know how to find him?
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I got his number from
the hostess of the party.
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I just had a sense that
we'd gotten along so well,
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there must be some reason
for him not calling me.
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He was right.
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That is so gay.
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And so nice.
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- Love is telepathic, right?
- Yeah.
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I knew you guys were cool.
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- Lovely. So now...
- Oh.
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... can I get you all something?
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Uh, yeah. Uh, good idea.
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00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,777
Um, you want another coffee, Karla?
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- Or what do you want?
- Are you getting this or am I?
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- Oh, us. Totally us. Yeah.
- Oh, us. Us, us, us.
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I'll have the lunch special,
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a... and a Coke and another coffee.
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And, uh, save me a banana split.
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Guys?
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Um...
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00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,753
Uh, well, could we get two green teas?
150
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,968
So, uh, when are you due?
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Eight months.
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00:07:07,418 --> 00:07:08,778
Is that okay? I mean, a newborn,
153
00:07:08,779 --> 00:07:10,698
- is that what you were looking for?
- Oh, we don't care.
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00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,104
And how much involvement
do you think you'd like?
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It's hard to say. I travel a lot.
156
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But I come through New
York twice a year, so...
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you know, maybe twice a year.
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Okay. Uh, and what's the
traveling about? Work?
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No, I'm homeless.
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Okay. Okay.
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- Okay, cool.
- Awesome.
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Oh, stop pretending that
doesn't throw you a little bit.
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I mean, maybe... maybe a little bit.
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- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yes. Is... is it...
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Wait, so... so, who's the father, Karla?
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A guy I met on the street.
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Yeah, um, he's a good man.
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Our paths cross every once in a while,
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but, you know, ultimately not a match.
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He wants to settle
down somewhere. Not me.
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- What do you think that's about?
- I don't know. I mean,
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I don't have any mental problems.
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I'm just, um... I just don't like being
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in one place for too long.
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Oh. Can I have a muffin?
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Thanks.
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00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,983
Yeah, and, you know,
I... I follow the sun.
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Oh, like a... like a James Taylor song.
179
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,479
And houses make me feel claustrophobic.
180
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,420
I think they're a trap we
build for ourselves, like...
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00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:07,204
like cars and smartphones.
182
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,777
Things we think make us smarter
but actually make us more dumb.
183
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,623
I think traveling, you see a new city
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00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,618
every week, you totally get
to reconnect with the country
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and the people that made it great.
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Instead of just
watching it through a TV.
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Thank you.
188
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,052
Can I borrow your spoon?
189
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,917
Yeah.
190
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,589
Hey. Hey. Let me... let
me help you with that.
191
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:31,005
Oh. Thanks.
192
00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,143
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Whoa.
- You okay?
193
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,810
Yep. What's in here?
194
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,098
It's just my world.
195
00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,138
Hello, darling. Hello, baby.
196
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,788
- I got you a little treat.
- Oh.
197
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,612
- Your dog?
- This is. This is Homer.
198
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,018
He goes everywhere I go.
199
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,566
Yeah, is that good?
200
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,615
- Hi...
- Want to say hi?
201
00:08:46,616 --> 00:08:49,454
- Hi.
- Homer, say hi. Say hi.
202
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,488
- Hi.
- Hi.
203
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,621
- So, are we doing this?
- Wait... wait.
204
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,595
Don't you want to know if
we, like, own our apartment?
205
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,289
Or... or... or, uh, how
much we take home a year?
206
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,790
- What colleges we went to?
- Are we on a contract?
207
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,832
- That's a popular one.
- No. No, I don't care
208
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,188
about any of that stuff. I just
want to see that you're in love.
209
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,512
I think you are.
210
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,216
- Give me that.
- Uh...
211
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,776
Well, it's not always
happy families with us,
212
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,277
i... it frequently descends into, uh,
213
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,181
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
214
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,140
Sure. Okay, so I'm gonna go back
to Trina, and say that I think
215
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,231
I found a match, and then,
if we all agree to this,
216
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,017
I'm gonna continue my travels for, like,
217
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,829
the first two trimesters, and
then come back to the city.
218
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,483
Um, yeah, here's my number.
219
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:27,652
Oh. Okay. Thank you so much.
220
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:30,243
It was a real experience meeting you.
221
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,029
This is a really good thing.
222
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,572
You guys are good
people, and my baby boy
223
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,156
or girl would be privileged
to be looked after
224
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,962
by a couple like you.
225
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:41,747
Yeah. Bye. Thanks for lunch.
226
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,330
Come!
227
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:45,626
Bye.
228
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,384
So is she good crazy or bad crazy?
229
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,778
I don't know. I'm not sure
she knows what she's doing.
230
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,182
But you do know that we
advocate for everything
231
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,511
- she's talking about?
- Yeah.
232
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,346
Uh, capitalism gone crazy, fear,
233
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,119
- traps of our own making...
- Right, I like that about her,
234
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,743
but she's taking it a little far, right?
235
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,649
What? By actually living it?
236
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,439
- Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Yeah.
- Okay...
237
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:09,961
All right, come on,
Kipper, take a shit already.
238
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:12,065
Don't put her under pressure, all right?
239
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,715
- It makes her nervous.
- Okay, whatever...
240
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,909
I'm just saying, we don't
know anything about this girl
241
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,489
or... or what she's going through.
242
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,454
How do we know that she
won't just... come on...
243
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,754
she won't just change her
mind when she sees the baby?
244
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,498
It just feels really intrusive.
245
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:27,960
Two creepy gays messing with
some young kid's pregnancy.
246
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,423
Just... Let's just leave it.
247
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,317
Leave it alone. We're not
supposed to be parents.
248
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,776
We're not parents and that's all right.
249
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,180
This is a gift, okay?
250
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,548
It's not some poor
woman that's been coerced
251
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,556
by circumstance into having our child,
252
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,268
or bringing a new child
into this fucking hellhole.
253
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,939
This is happening either way. Okay?
254
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,608
And we get to be there to catch it.
255
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,566
No, it just feels like
a hell of a lot of time
256
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:53,568
to spend on something
that may not even happen.
257
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,702
And it's a hell of a lot
of disappointment, for us,
258
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,030
if she changes her mind.
259
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,075
And that's perfect.
260
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:04,118
We get to live something
that we actually believe.
261
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,964
Yeah.
262
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,419
Hey, baby, my baby, my baby.
263
00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:14,171
- Yes, good girl!
- Miracle! Good girl!
264
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,296
- Here you are.
- Why is it always me
265
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,353
- that cleans up?
- 'Cause. It's your dog.
266
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,637
- It's our f... it's our dog.
- Okay, it's our dog,
267
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,220
- but it's your shit.
- It's our shit.
268
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,015
- It's not our shit. Aw...
- Our shit. Good girl.
269
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,350
- Okay. Okay.
- Thank you, honey.
270
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:28,039
- Can you open the gate, please?
- I can open the gate.
271
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,374
- Thank you so much.
- Why do you have an attitude?
272
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,583
- I really appreciate that...
- You don't need to
273
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,834
- have an attitude.
- I don't have an attitude.
274
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,127
- I'm just asking very simply.
- I feel like you got...
275
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,629
Considering I've got shit in my hand,
276
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,422
- I would not be talking to me...
- It's your dog.
277
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,132
- ... in an abrasive manner.
- You can have shit in your hand.
278
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,509
- Thank you.
- Okay, honey. You know what?
279
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,623
It's fine, I want to
watch Fargo. Is that okay?
280
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,179
- You can watch whatever you want.
- Okay. Thank you.
281
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,793
Oh, come on, are you... are you...
are you, like, four years old?
282
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,428
- Hey! Welcome!
- Hi!
283
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,047
Oh, both of you!
284
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,144
Oh.
285
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,808
- Hey.
- Three of you. Jesus Christ.
286
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,178
- Look at you.
- Come in.
287
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,952
You beat the rain. You know,
a big summer storm is due.
288
00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:07,053
- I got that. I got... Oh!
- Thanks.
289
00:12:07,077 --> 00:12:08,687
- Oh, oh!
- You okay?
290
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,081
Uh, yeah, sorry, I just grabbed it...
291
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,935
- Yeah, thank you.
- You okay?
292
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,322
Homer! Bad dog!
293
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,985
Your dog seems a little
threatened by Homer.
294
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,739
He can get very territorial.
295
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:22,621
Wow. A territorial
dog with no territory.
296
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,289
He makes everywhere his territory.
297
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,787
Homer! Hit the deck.
298
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,339
So, thanks for this, guys.
I love your apartment.
299
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,957
- I'm... I'm really excited to stay.
- Oh, you're staying?
300
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:38,505
- In... in... in New York?
- Of course she is.
301
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,930
She's staying with us.
302
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:44,008
Oh. Oh. Um, oh. Cool. Great.
303
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,491
Is that okay? Have you
guys discussed that?
304
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,951
- We're discussing it right now.
- No.
305
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,595
- It's a live discussion.
- It's okay.
306
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,580
It's great. And you're only
a couple of weeks out, right?
307
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,064
- You're gonna pop any day, huh?
- I'm eight weeks out.
308
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,226
- Eight weeks. Eight weeks.
- Mm-hmm.
309
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,985
- Great.
- We are happy to have you.
310
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,568
It just makes us feel involved.
311
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:03,913
Yeah. Andy has been preparing
for parenthood like crazy.
312
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,178
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
313
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:08,212
So I've, um, I've turned
Tobin's study into a baby room,
314
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,366
and I've painted it half
blue, half pink, you know,
315
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,059
- covering both bases...
- Not that we want to
316
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,673
impose our gender
stereotypes, God forbid.
317
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,091
Let me ask you a question.
318
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,669
- Oh, great. Yup, go.
- Baby quiz, you ready?
319
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:19,817
- Baby quiz.
- Yeah...
320
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,591
Yeah. That's true.
You're hearing it right.
321
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,385
Yeah, so what does it mean
when the baby's poo is green?
322
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,309
Pass. I don't know.
323
00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:27,718
Pass? What do you mean, "pass"?
324
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,766
- Pass. I don't know.
- Means the baby is sick.
325
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,953
Why don't we just find that out?
326
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,147
You want us to just find out...
327
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,308
- You all right?
- Oh, my...
328
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:37,476
Yeah. So where's my room?
329
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:40,948
You're in it.
330
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,696
Sweet.
331
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,372
♪ Gonna show you what we got ♪
332
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,580
♪ We're Indian, so you
know we make it hot ♪
333
00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:00,010
- Whoa. Hey.
- Welcome home, dear.
334
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:03,388
What time do you call this?
Gallivanting in some bar, huh,
335
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,216
while I'm slaving over a hot stove!
336
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:08,182
- Nice look.
- It's so hot in here.
337
00:14:08,193 --> 00:14:09,193
Oh! Oh, Jesus.
338
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,354
Hello.
339
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:14,442
- You look fucking beautiful.
- Thank you, Andy.
340
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,499
You know, if you want to just,
uh, throw your... sorry...
341
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,167
your... throw your, th...
throw your clothes in a bag,
342
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,071
I can include them in
my next laundry run.
343
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:23,570
- Why would I do that?
- Um, because a... a lot of people do that?
344
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,174
Why would I waste money
on a laundromat when I can
345
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,868
wash my clothes in the
bath and then dry them here?
346
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,539
Just an idea. Crazy idea.
347
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:32,158
So I cooked a prawn
bhuna. It's been a while,
348
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,865
but I think I got the
recipe right... ish.
349
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,811
You didn't have any coconut
milk, so I used tap water.
350
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,205
Oh, and I couldn't afford prawns,
351
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,713
so it's little tuna
bits instead. You hungry?
352
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,933
Mm.
353
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,113
I just don't understand how
you guys can keep going out
354
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,557
to restaurants, like, every night.
355
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,217
Because we can't cook, that's why.
356
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,660
- I cook for you all the time...
- No, no, honey, honey, honey.
357
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,104
You prepare food for me, that's
what you do. We can't cook.
358
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,015
Cooking... cooking is an art.
359
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,693
It's an art that we have
yet to master. All right?
360
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,877
- Is that fair?
- Well, you should learn. You should learn.
361
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,671
You could save so much
money by cooking at home.
362
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:06,695
This is a ridiculous, inexcusable waste.
363
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,740
- Yeah.
- You should take a home economics course
364
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,203
and learn the basics.
365
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,554
Yeah, I want a full fridge
366
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,408
and freezer, and a roster
of good, nourishing meals.
367
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,726
You can't take a screaming baby
out to restaurants every night.
368
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,500
You... It pisses people off.
369
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:22,093
You know what else pisses people
off? Pregnant women who drink.
370
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,090
- Oh, come on...
- Wine. What?
371
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,642
Are you joking? Are you joking?
372
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,256
I have given up everything for this kid.
373
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:32,314
I don't smoke, I don't smoke
weed, I don't have spicy food.
374
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,170
Hey, girl. Come on.
375
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,630
Where are you? Good girl, you ready?
376
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:05,301
Come on. Hey.
377
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,133
You all right?
378
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:12,006
Huh? Are you panting?
379
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:15,055
Huh? What's up, huh?
380
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,939
Good girl. Good girl.
381
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,927
I thought you said your
dog was neutered, Karla.
382
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,621
I honestly didn't hear you,
I thought you said "tutored."
383
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,832
In what way was your dog tutored?
384
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,685
He had some behavioral
issues, so he did some classes
385
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,959
with a dog whisperer.
386
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,961
Well, thanks, Karla.
387
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,398
He may have scarred our dog for life.
388
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,172
Oh, stop it. You're being dramatic.
389
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,625
You give her the pills, it
goes away; it's fine, honey.
390
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,696
Maybe, but this is my day
off. I'm supposed to be having
391
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,160
a leisurely breakfast, and now
I'm performing a home-abortion.
392
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,103
You know, it just doesn't make sense.
393
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,892
How could Kipper even
accommodate your dog's penis?
394
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:11,985
Shh!
395
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,621
What? Andy.
396
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,618
- Andy, wake up. Wake up.
- What? What? What? What? What?
397
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,911
Shh. Voices. Listen, there's voices.
398
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,705
- Where? I'm asleep.
- I hear voices.
399
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,579
- What? I'm asleep.
- In the living room. Shh.
400
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,205
- Listen. Get up.
- No.
401
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,842
- Get up.
- Take Kipper.
402
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,259
I don't want to go.
403
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,467
It was smeared across my skin,
404
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,968
- with this ugly face...
- Like, like Alien?
405
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,551
Like, yeah, like...
406
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,115
- Like Sigourney Weaver?
- Like Sigourney Weaver.
407
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,908
- I like Sigourney Weaver.
- You do?
408
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,452
- Have you seen Avatar?
- A long time ago.
409
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,900
Oh, shit. Sorry. Oh,
my God, did we wake you?
410
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:45,057
- What the hell, Karla?
- Who is this?
411
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,516
I'm so sorry if we were being loud.
412
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,043
This is, um... fuck, what's your name?
413
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,277
- Mick.
- Mick.
414
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,088
- Where did he come from?
- He's on the street.
415
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,322
We passed him on the way
back from the movies tonight.
416
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:55,164
- Don't remember that.
- Exactly.
417
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,200
So I offered him some
food. It's a thing we do.
418
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,083
I've got a roof over
my head for a while.
419
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,330
It's cold out. Is that okay?
420
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:04,332
No. It's not. It's not okay, frankly.
421
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,165
- Why?
- Do you know what, I... I get it.
422
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,841
If I had a nice gaff like this,
423
00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,440
I wouldn't be letting
random blokes in, either.
424
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,844
You should have just
asked, run it by us first,
425
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,195
- but it's... it's fine. It's...
- It's not. You know what?
426
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,509
It's not fine. We're putting
up with you staying here.
427
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,564
That doesn't mean anyone
you choose to bring home.
428
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,968
"Putting up" with me?
429
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,556
I didn't realize that was
the way you looked at it.
430
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,996
- He doesn't mean it like that.
- Don't I?
431
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,123
Do you know what, lads, you
guys have some serious issues
432
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,187
you need to work out,
so I'm just gonna...
433
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,502
No! No, Mick. While I'm staying here,
434
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,316
any friend of mine is welcome to come in
435
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,838
and share my good
fortune, so you just...
436
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,242
you just stay right here.
437
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,120
I was actually just gonna go... toilet,
438
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,777
if that's all right?
439
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,327
It's on the right.
440
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:42,097
- Oh, okay, sorry.
- He's not a friend of yours.
441
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,121
He's a stranger. And
this is our apartment,
442
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,455
in which you are a guest,
and that doesn't extend
443
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:49,091
to any random guy you
just meet on the street.
444
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,008
So that's how it is with you, Tobin?
445
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:52,717
All gay and liberal and laid-back
446
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,837
until you actually have
to give something up?
447
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,304
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not what this is about.
448
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,385
And what does my sexuality
have to do with anything?
449
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:00,783
That sounds like homophobia to me.
450
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,517
Anybody would be on my side on this.
451
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,639
Is Andy? Are you, Andy, on his side?
452
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,664
- I am staying out of this, okay?
- Oh, great, thank you.
453
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,728
Thank you for that. Welcome back.
454
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,573
Thank you.
455
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,938
Is this the first guy
you've brought home here?
456
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,213
- First British guy.
- Oh, Jesus Christ,
457
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,947
I didn't know we were running a shelter.
458
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,949
- You are so uptight.
- I'm not uptight!
459
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,161
This place stinks of incense!
460
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,501
There's... there's prawn
bhuna on the... on the carpet.
461
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,657
It's everywhere you... touch!
462
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,706
You've turned my living room into
a... into a... a bedouin camp.
463
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,590
You've forced me into a dog abortion.
464
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:33,167
And now you're smoking skunk
and drinking while pregnant
465
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:37,054
and having sex, probably, with
Mick the stranger on my couch!
466
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,933
Did you say you did a dog abortion?
467
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,390
Oh, stay out of this, Mick.
You're just here for a hot meal.
468
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:44,061
Do you know what, right?
469
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,350
Do you know what? I get it. Right?
470
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,265
But you should try some of her food,
471
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:52,284
'cause you might learn something.
472
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,857
Thanks, Mick.
473
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,492
See you soon.
474
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:01,370
You know what? You know what, Tobin?
475
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,249
You are an insufferable
bore. You really are.
476
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,247
You claim you're
interested in other people
477
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,142
with your documentaries,
but there is no evidence
478
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,916
in your life whatsoever of you caring
479
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:12,709
about anyone but yourself.
You read The New York Times,
480
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,607
and you bitch about Trump,
but you mean none of it.
481
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:15,733
You're not interested in your community.
482
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,007
You just like the idea of it.
483
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,800
You're just a... y...
you're a hipster liberal!
484
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,474
And you contribute to the community how?
485
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,642
By living off the
generosity of other people?
486
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,641
What do you do for other people?
487
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,733
Huh? You're a world of one!
488
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,229
Oh, fuck you!
489
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,978
Can't even take care of your own baby.
490
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:36,105
Asshole.
491
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,420
Karla? Karla?!
492
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,665
Karla?
493
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,818
Karla?!
494
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:15,329
I'm sorry I said that. Such
an idiotic thing to say.
495
00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:17,836
- I'm ashamed.
- Oh, fuck it, Tobin, it's fine.
496
00:22:17,879 --> 00:22:19,629
We don't have to agree on anything.
497
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:22,382
- Our lives are a world apart.
- That may be right, but I...
498
00:22:22,425 --> 00:22:24,045
but I... I shouldn't
have said that shit.
499
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:26,683
You're welcome here, you know?
500
00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:28,721
It's just...
501
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,675
it's hard for me.
502
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,308
You're probably right,
503
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,903
I've never contributed much to anything.
504
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:41,240
In L.A., I just got so
sick of the money and...
505
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,317
and the waste next to the
poverty and the suffering
506
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,572
and... and the fucking
cars puking out this shit.
507
00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:48,865
I thought if I don't... if
I don't change the way I live,
508
00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:50,910
I'm gonna be the
biggest hypocrite alive.
509
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:54,083
- Well, that's admirable.
- Yeah, I thought it was.
510
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:57,343
"Be the change you want
to see" and all that.
511
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,896
But then I realized,
no one is seeing this.
512
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,840
No one gives a shit. I don't blog.
513
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,880
I... I don't have kids
to be an example to.
514
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:05,514
I'm invisible, like all these
homeless people in the park.
515
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,181
Well, you do contribute, you know?
516
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,010
You're... you're...
you're... interesting,
517
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:10,675
and you're... and you're troubled
518
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,143
and you're... you're honest.
519
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:13,410
You know, actually, I've really...
520
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:15,564
I've enjoyed coming home
to see you in the evenings,
521
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,563
despite how it comes across, you know?
522
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:20,145
I never know... what to expect with you.
523
00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:22,651
That's good. That's good for me.
524
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,214
The truth is, I'm terrified of this.
525
00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:38,002
I don't know if I'm ready.
526
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:40,132
I'm so...
527
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:42,129
anal and... and neurotic.
528
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:46,471
I can barely stand anybody in
my house, never mind a baby.
529
00:23:46,509 --> 00:23:48,799
A baby? I don't know, I don't know.
530
00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:54,813
You better make up your mind, Tobin.
531
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:01,727
Let's go home.
532
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:04,435
Yeah?
533
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:07,819
Fine.
534
00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,285
She's so tough
535
00:24:13,327 --> 00:24:15,957
and... and... and resilient and...
536
00:24:15,997 --> 00:24:17,747
But, you know, she lives how she feels.
537
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:19,750
Well, I think 'cause she
genuinely believes it,
538
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,542
and she couldn't live any other way.
539
00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:24,506
That's ballsy, and that's what
you want in a kid, isn't it?
540
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:26,627
Yeah. Let's hope that
part's in the genes.
541
00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:30,184
- Mm, just not the cooking.
- Jesus. No, not the cooking.
542
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,697
- All right.
- All right.
543
00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:33,601
I think sex with Mick
might have induced me.
544
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,350
What?
545
00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:39,102
Seriously, I think
it's gonna happen early.
546
00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,895
- Okay, all right.
- Okay. Let's go.
547
00:24:40,938 --> 00:24:42,457
- All right.
- Okay, are you all right?
548
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,376
- I know what to do. Bag.
- Okay, that's all right.
549
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,990
- Okay.
- I got the bag.
550
00:24:46,027 --> 00:24:47,588
- Do you have a bag? Do you?
- I have a bag, yeah.
551
00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:48,964
- You have a bag. Is it...
- I'll get the bag.
552
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:50,257
- Where is it?
- You just look out here!
553
00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:51,300
- Okay, okay.
- We have to put some clothes on...
554
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:53,784
I'll put it on when I
get out on the street.
555
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:54,866
Come on.
556
00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,791
I... Oh!
557
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,749
- All right...
- Get a cab.
558
00:24:58,789 --> 00:24:59,829
- Okay.
- Get... get a cab.
559
00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:02,134
- Hey! Hey!
- Oh, my God.
560
00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:05,835
You okay? Ah. All right.
561
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,130
- Thank you.
- You get on this side. Come on.
562
00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:11,304
Okay, these contractions are
right on top of each other.
563
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:13,894
This is your last chance
for an epidural, Karla.
564
00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:16,430
Are you sure you don't want me
to call the anesthesiologist?
565
00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:18,368
No, I'm okay. Let's just keep going.
566
00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:20,482
Are you sure? I don't get
it. It's just medicine.
567
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,788
You take antibiotics,
568
00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:23,332
don't you, when you... when you're sick,
569
00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,436
or penicillin, or aspirin
when you get a headache?
570
00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:27,243
- Come on.
- Because I want to experience it!
571
00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:29,736
I want to feel it! Fuck!
Jesus fucking Christ!
572
00:25:29,779 --> 00:25:32,109
I don't want to talk about
it, I just want to do it!
573
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:33,759
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
574
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:37,913
Okay. Okay. Okay, you got this.
575
00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:40,624
Nine centimeters dilated.
576
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,075
Sir, do you need a glass of water?
577
00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:44,924
No. No, no, I'm fine. I'm really good.
578
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:47,341
- Oh...
- Sir, please do not faint in my delivery suite.
579
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:48,970
If you feel woozy, step outside. Okay?
580
00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,586
Both of you, please.
581
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:52,593
You know, maybe I w...
I'm, I'll get some air.
582
00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:54,755
I'm-a get... I'll get
air. You guys got this.
583
00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:56,698
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got
it, yeah, we'll see you later.
584
00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:58,562
- Okay.
- Do you want to go, too?
585
00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:01,019
No. No. No. I'm not going anywhere.
586
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,230
Oh, fuck!
587
00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:05,651
Tobin, stop.
588
00:26:05,690 --> 00:26:07,440
Okay, sorry.
589
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:09,253
- Tobin, you're still doing it.
- Sorry, right...
590
00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:10,837
- It's really, really annoying.
- Yeah, yeah. I'll stop.
591
00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,589
- I can't concentrate.
- All right, okay, got it...
592
00:26:12,613 --> 00:26:14,123
Fuck.
593
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:15,467
Tobin, just move your fucking head away!
594
00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,081
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
595
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,720
Good, Karla, you're doing so great.
596
00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:20,914
Looking good. Okay, there's a head.
597
00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:22,955
- Do you want to look at this?
- Yeah.
598
00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:25,018
Okay, Karla, great. Great,
great, great, great, great.
599
00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:26,687
You can do this, you
can absolutely do this.
600
00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:28,501
I want you to give me
a big push, come on.
601
00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:30,836
Take a deep breath and
give me a good push, okay?
602
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,841
There you go, keep going,
603
00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:35,093
keep going, keep going,
you got it, you got it,
604
00:26:35,136 --> 00:26:37,096
you got it, you got it, you got it!
605
00:26:37,138 --> 00:26:38,928
- Great, great, great. Keep going.
- Oh, God!
606
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:41,353
Okay, great! Great, great.
607
00:26:41,392 --> 00:26:44,312
Oh, my God.
608
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:46,483
Well done, Karla. Good job.
609
00:26:46,522 --> 00:26:50,112
Oh, my God.
610
00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:53,612
Oh...
611
00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:55,454
Oh...
612
00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:58,659
Oh, my God.
613
00:27:08,753 --> 00:27:10,763
Well?
614
00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:12,376
Girl.
615
00:27:12,423 --> 00:27:15,553
A girl? A girl?
616
00:27:15,593 --> 00:27:17,763
Oh, that's fantastic. And she's good?
617
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:19,656
- Oh, she's beautiful.
- Five fingers, five toes,
618
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,325
- all beautiful, all perfect?
- All that, all that, yeah.
619
00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:23,285
Oh, my goodness. I can't
believe this is happening.
620
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,479
- Oh, my God. Right.
- This is happening.
621
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:26,939
- We're dads.
- Uh-huh.
622
00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:39,034
They're just monitoring her for
24 hours and then she'll be out.
623
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:41,615
We can all start taking care of her.
624
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,410
- You were amazing.
- Thank you.
625
00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:47,464
Like... amazing.
626
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,460
How's Andy?
627
00:27:49,502 --> 00:27:51,962
We're giving him liquids,
you know. He's stable.
628
00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,304
Funny.
629
00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:56,300
I thought you'd be the fainter.
630
00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:59,892
- Yeah, so did I.
- But you weren't.
631
00:27:59,929 --> 00:28:03,519
You stayed there and held my hand
632
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:07,227
and helped clean up the
blood and cut the cord.
633
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:11,069
It was so amazing, seeing
her head emerge, and...
634
00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:15,487
And I like that I was
the first guy to see her.
635
00:28:15,528 --> 00:28:18,698
I... I can't wait to hold
her. What was it like?
636
00:28:18,739 --> 00:28:20,909
It was beautiful.
637
00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:22,740
Can you take that hat off your head?
638
00:28:22,785 --> 00:28:26,905
- You look ridiculous.
- I'm sorry.
639
00:28:26,956 --> 00:28:30,126
But yeah, it was beautiful.
640
00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:32,497
So have you thought about
reconsidering the whole thing,
641
00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:33,915
since seeing her?
642
00:28:33,963 --> 00:28:36,173
Why, are you getting cold feet?
643
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:38,875
No. No, the opposite.
644
00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:42,296
I want it now. I love her now.
645
00:28:42,346 --> 00:28:46,386
Just like that, so I can't
imagine how you must be feeling.
646
00:28:46,434 --> 00:28:49,774
I'm just saying, if... if
you've changed your mind,
647
00:28:49,812 --> 00:28:52,522
that is... i... is, I totally get it.
648
00:28:52,565 --> 00:28:56,025
We're just happy to, to
get you here, you know?
649
00:28:58,279 --> 00:29:01,449
Yeah. Well, um...
650
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:04,240
that's nice of you to offer.
651
00:29:06,287 --> 00:29:08,907
Yeah, I mean...
652
00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:13,956
Mine is a world of one.
You were right about that.
653
00:29:14,003 --> 00:29:15,963
I do have issues.
654
00:29:16,005 --> 00:29:19,255
I will smoke skunk and
sleep with guys I don't know.
655
00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,680
And I just don't know how to say no.
656
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:25,219
I never have. If something comes
my way, I just let it happen.
657
00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:29,024
And I love the road, I
feel safe there, but...
658
00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:31,849
it's no place for a kid.
659
00:29:31,896 --> 00:29:37,066
And maybe being a mother
will change me, but...
660
00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:43,281
I can't take that risk
with her if it doesn't.
661
00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:45,334
I've been irresponsible my whole life.
662
00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:48,197
This is the first responsible
thing that I've done.
663
00:29:51,624 --> 00:29:54,544
You know, I can't, I can't
stand being around people
664
00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:58,545
for more than a few days, but...
665
00:29:58,589 --> 00:30:01,629
I forgot about that for
the last few weeks...
666
00:30:04,011 --> 00:30:07,181
... 'cause you guys are the
most amazing people in the world.
667
00:30:07,223 --> 00:30:09,183
Yeah.
668
00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:11,635
You guys are gonna be
the best parents ever.
669
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:19,153
Well... we'll try.
670
00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:23,493
Thank you so much.
671
00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:28,076
Stop.
672
00:30:28,118 --> 00:30:30,908
My God...
673
00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:08,740
Hey.
674
00:31:12,663 --> 00:31:17,043
Uh, I want to tell you
a story about your mom.
675
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:20,754
And I'll tell you now,
when you can't talk back,
676
00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:25,376
and you're not all...
teenage and entitled,
677
00:31:25,426 --> 00:31:28,466
uh, and in case you don't get to see her
678
00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:31,272
as much as you want in life.
679
00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:36,896
Which would be a shame,
because, I am telling you now,
680
00:31:36,937 --> 00:31:41,777
she is fucking... awesome.
681
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:45,317
She carried you like a trooper,
682
00:31:45,362 --> 00:31:50,992
and she gave birth to you
without one moment of fear.
683
00:31:53,037 --> 00:31:58,577
I know, um, you're gonna ask me
about why... why she's not around.
684
00:32:00,628 --> 00:32:03,588
A long time ago, before
there were cities,
685
00:32:03,631 --> 00:32:07,511
human beings used to constantly move.
686
00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:10,391
They were hunter-gatherers,
and their lives were tough,
687
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:14,639
and... and relentless, but
they were also kind of free.
688
00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:17,523
Well, your mom is,
689
00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:20,771
is kind of like, like a hunter-gatherer,
690
00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:24,994
but a little bit born in the wrong time.
691
00:32:25,027 --> 00:32:27,697
So, she can't take you with her,
692
00:32:27,738 --> 00:32:31,738
because this society
wouldn't support that.
693
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:34,294
So you get to hang with
us for a, for a while.
694
00:32:34,328 --> 00:32:39,078
Now, we're not
hunter-gatherers, by any means.
695
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:40,924
We're capitalists.
696
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:45,169
We wouldn't survive a
second in the wild because...
697
00:32:45,214 --> 00:32:49,474
there's no restaurants or Whole Foods,
698
00:32:49,510 --> 00:32:54,850
or therapists or hospitals
for when you get sick
699
00:32:54,890 --> 00:32:58,480
or, um, books for you to read
or movies for you to watch.
700
00:32:58,519 --> 00:33:01,109
Nothing. And we like
those things, right?
701
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:05,816
So you stand to have a... a
pretty good time with us, right?
702
00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:07,819
My book.
703
00:33:07,861 --> 00:33:10,611
- Huh?
- My book, Daddy, stop it.
704
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:14,656
- Story time is for her, not you.
- Sorry.
705
00:33:14,702 --> 00:33:16,412
But it's so good, right, June?
706
00:33:16,453 --> 00:33:19,043
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What was I saying?
707
00:33:19,081 --> 00:33:20,671
About cattle pips.
708
00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:24,288
About... about... about capitalists.
709
00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:25,876
- Yes. About...
- About capitalists.
710
00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:28,671
- Capitalists, yeah.
- That's nice.
711
00:33:28,716 --> 00:33:30,676
- I get ice cream?
- Yeah, you do.
712
00:33:30,718 --> 00:33:32,362
And other people make
the ice cream for us,
713
00:33:32,386 --> 00:33:34,046
which is great, right?
714
00:33:34,096 --> 00:33:35,615
- Mommy likes ice cream, too.
- She does?
715
00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:38,139
Yeah, last time, we got two ice creams.
716
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,143
She gave you...
717
00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:41,475
- Yeah.
- Last time? Two?
718
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,110
- Mm-hmm.
- For such a young child?
719
00:33:43,147 --> 00:33:44,607
- Okay.
- Okay.
720
00:33:44,648 --> 00:33:46,938
But ice cream's nice, right?
721
00:33:46,984 --> 00:33:48,784
Well, maybe not, maybe not two,
722
00:33:48,819 --> 00:33:51,659
but ice cream is okay, just not two.
723
00:33:51,697 --> 00:33:53,067
Lot of sugar.
724
00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:54,695
- Okay, we're gonna go to sleep?
- Yeah.
725
00:33:54,742 --> 00:33:56,122
All right, go to sleep.
726
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,200
Eyes closed.
727
00:33:58,245 --> 00:34:01,615
Begin sleeping.
728
00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:04,535
Okay, come on, close your eyes.
729
00:34:04,585 --> 00:34:05,995
Good girl.
730
00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:22,347
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