[theme music playing]
[screeching]
Hmm. I should really learn to play this game.
Fascinating.
Hey, eight ball, what's the big idea,
parking your flying tin cigar on me?
Say, you wouldn't happen to be an Earth creature, by chance, would you?
Of course I am.
I was born and bred on Earth.
Oh, what luck.
Quite impressive, too.
You're an absolute perfect specimen.
Oh, cut it out.
You're going to make me blush.
Would you allow me to perform a few tests on you,
Mr. Earth Creature, please?
Test? Gosh, I didn't even study.
Hey! What the heck is this?
What are you doing?
First, the molecular conductivity test.
-[device whirs] -Moleculiar what?
Oh, my.
Very interesting reaction.
Very good, earthling.
Now we'll perform the elasticity sufferance test.
Now the vibrato ravagization test.
[device whirs]
[gasps]
If you could please insert this in--
Not on your life, pal.
Find yourself another rube to test on, 'cause I'm out.
Oh, dear.
We haven't even gotten to the best test yet.
Oh, where did that Earth creature go?
Psst.
[Bugs] Over here, Mac.
You're looking for Earth creatures, are you?
Oh, yes, indeed, I--
-[muffled] -Shh! Not so loud, Mac.
I got some nice, premium
Earth creature out back for you.
What do you say?
I would very much like that.
Here you are, kid.
First one's free.
Oh, goody, goody.
A new Earth creature to experiment on.
Hmm. I don't see anything in here.
[grunts]
-[whistles] -[tires screech]
Oh, this makes me very furioso.
I wonder if that little bowling ball phoned home yet.
All right, you stubborn Earth creature,
it's time to resume testing.
Hold up there, broomface.
You can't be doing this to people.
Us earthlings, we got laws.
But I'm not from Earth.
-I'm from Mars. -From Mars?
How do I know you're from Mars?
You got any credentials?
Yes, I do.
Behold, my official Martian license.
Let me see that.
Why, this license is expired, Doc.
What? Expired?
Yeah. See the date? It's no good.
But... but I need that to do my Martian stuff.
Listen, Doc, you're in luck.
We can just renew your license right here.
I can give you your Martian test.
I happen to be an official test giver.
Oh, goody.
All right. First, you got to do the written portion of the exam.
Can a Martian withstand a ten-ton weight?
Hmm.
-[Marvin] No. -[Bugs] Great.
That's one right.
You're on a roll, Doc. Now for the physical test.
[machine buzzes]
[gasping]
How long must I do this for?
Eh, just keep going, Doc.
I'm collecting data.
[gasping]
[gasping loudly]
[wheezes]
All right. Breathe into this.
[Marvin in high-pitched voice] Did I pass yet?
Now onto the final portion of the exam.
The driving test.
And begin.
Oh, this is easy.
[groans]
[screams]
Pencils down.
Let's see how you did.
[whirs and beeps]
[machine] Pt-ooie.
Hey, congrats, laughing boy.
You passed the test.
Here's your new license.
[gasps] Oh, goody, goody.
I'm a Martian again.
I'm a Martian agai--
Wait.
This is an Earth license.
Huh. Guess that means you're an earthling now.
A what?
[gasps]
[alien] Bring this Earth creature
back to the lab for testing.
What? No! Unhand me at once!
Well, I guess that's what happens
when you space out during class.
[chuckles]
[theme music playing]
Uh, hello. I would like a ba... [stuttering]
I would like a ba... Yes, I'd like a... [stuttering]
[screams] Baboon!
[screaming]
He's lucky. That was my last baboon.
Beep, beep.
[coughs]
[gasps]
[panting]
Beep, beep.
Phew!
Beep, beep.
[blows raspberry]
Beep, beep.
[loud crash]
Beep, beep.
[theme music playing]