1 00:00:01,256 --> 00:00:03,592 We are Nadja and Laszlo, the human music group. 2 00:00:03,625 --> 00:00:05,294 She's a superb lyricist. 3 00:00:05,394 --> 00:00:07,762 * We're feeling horny For love * 4 00:00:07,796 --> 00:00:10,965 * We're feeling horny For love * 5 00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:13,202 (up-tempo music plays) 6 00:00:14,769 --> 00:00:15,770 VOCALISTS: Hey! 7 00:00:22,877 --> 00:00:25,514 "My Dick Sucks" put him on the map. 8 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,715 (exhales sharply) 9 00:00:26,748 --> 00:00:29,351 The Somebody Suck Me Competition? 10 00:00:29,384 --> 00:00:30,919 Well, that proved that he could infiltrate pop culture 11 00:00:30,952 --> 00:00:32,687 like that. 12 00:00:32,721 --> 00:00:35,357 Now, what's the next big project that's gonna elevate Dave 13 00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:38,560 to become an icon-level artist? 14 00:00:38,593 --> 00:00:41,596 Well, lucky for you guys, he's working on that right now. 15 00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:44,533 And maybe it can be with Katonah Records. 16 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,868 DAVE: And just to piggyback off Mike-- thank you-- 17 00:00:46,901 --> 00:00:48,703 I'm working on my next album right now. 18 00:00:48,737 --> 00:00:51,606 I really think it's gonna be, like, the zenith of musicality. 19 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,875 -JONATHAN: Hmm. -It's called Penith. 20 00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:55,477 (laughter) 21 00:00:57,146 --> 00:00:59,881 But do you guys actually get it? 22 00:00:59,914 --> 00:01:01,550 -Like, fully? -MIKE: They get it. 23 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,218 What does "penith" mean to you? 24 00:01:03,252 --> 00:01:04,786 I don't mean to harp, but I feel like... 25 00:01:04,819 --> 00:01:06,888 -They get it. He gets it. -All I know is, 26 00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:10,292 somebody wants to get their dick sucked right now. 27 00:01:10,325 --> 00:01:12,794 -(quietly): What? -You get that? 28 00:01:12,827 --> 00:01:14,596 That we want to sign you? 29 00:01:14,629 --> 00:01:16,731 Oh! Dope. 30 00:01:16,765 --> 00:01:19,734 I can talk like this because this is a creative meeting. 31 00:01:19,768 --> 00:01:22,937 Thus, HR can't get mad at me again. (laughs) 32 00:01:22,971 --> 00:01:26,241 -Okay. -I haven't worked in corporate America for a while, but... 33 00:01:26,275 --> 00:01:29,844 Hey, Dave. Have you ever been sucked like this? 34 00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:35,083 Hmm. 35 00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:36,785 A record deal. 36 00:01:38,119 --> 00:01:40,088 -I do love to get sucked. -(laughter) 37 00:01:40,121 --> 00:01:42,257 MIKE: He does. 38 00:01:42,291 --> 00:01:45,460 But this feels like I'm being fucked up my ass. 39 00:01:45,494 --> 00:01:48,497 Or how I'd imagine it feels like. 40 00:01:50,499 --> 00:01:52,801 So... (exhaling sharply) 41 00:01:57,038 --> 00:01:59,107 MIKE: Ugh. Hmm... 42 00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:03,445 I have a slack jaw, and a underbite. 43 00:02:03,478 --> 00:02:06,448 And that's why I could only bite that amount of it. 44 00:02:06,481 --> 00:02:08,817 Come back with something better, 45 00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:12,020 or, hey, Denzel Washington will walk right out your front door. 46 00:02:12,053 --> 00:02:13,121 Hmm. 47 00:02:13,154 --> 00:02:14,823 Me. 48 00:02:16,825 --> 00:02:18,660 I act as well. 49 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,165 -Do you have another copy? -* Hi, I'm Dave * 50 00:02:24,199 --> 00:02:26,201 -* I'm Lil Dicky * -* Hi, I'm Dave * 51 00:02:26,235 --> 00:02:27,802 -* Who's Dave? * -* Hi, I'm Dave. * 52 00:02:27,836 --> 00:02:31,005 I say this with the utmost sincerity, 53 00:02:31,039 --> 00:02:32,874 I am the next Kanye West. 54 00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:38,146 Except... I'm white. 55 00:02:38,179 --> 00:02:39,814 -Oh. -It's a shitty reality, 56 00:02:39,848 --> 00:02:41,816 but white rappers sell more. 57 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,485 Records, ticket sales. 58 00:02:43,518 --> 00:02:45,987 It's just, it sucks, but it's the cold, hard truth. 59 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:47,489 I hate that it's true, by the way. 60 00:02:47,522 --> 00:02:51,560 So, I'm actually more like Eminem, to the consumer. 61 00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:52,994 The highest selling rapper 62 00:02:53,027 --> 00:02:54,496 -of all time. -MIKE: Drake is. 63 00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:56,498 -What? -Drake. 64 00:02:56,531 --> 00:02:58,667 Drake is the highest selling rap-- He surpassed him. 65 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,335 -When? -This year. 66 00:03:00,369 --> 00:03:01,903 DAVE: Well, I mean, he's Jewish, so whatever. 67 00:03:01,936 --> 00:03:04,673 I'm like Eminem, except I'm wholesome. 68 00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,341 And, like, sweet. 69 00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:08,677 I'm, like, a sweet man. 70 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,845 Any 12-year-old girl in America is gonna look at me and be like, 71 00:03:10,879 --> 00:03:12,847 -"Oh, my God, I could marry that guy." -Oh. 72 00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:15,550 DAVE: And by the way, I wouldn't marry a 12-year-old girl. 73 00:03:15,584 --> 00:03:17,018 I'm just saying, they will want to marry me. 74 00:03:17,051 --> 00:03:18,753 -(Kelsey clears throat) -Mentally. 75 00:03:18,787 --> 00:03:20,689 They'll never have a chance because I'm not a pedophile. 76 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,357 Keep going. Just keep going. 77 00:03:22,391 --> 00:03:24,058 DAVE: And that brings me to my next point. 78 00:03:24,092 --> 00:03:26,094 My physicality. 79 00:03:26,127 --> 00:03:28,229 I'm just, like, I read all the comments, 80 00:03:28,263 --> 00:03:29,864 and I-I see everything, and it didn't-- 81 00:03:29,898 --> 00:03:31,700 -It was not always this way. -No. 82 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,067 DAVE: If you look at my face now, 83 00:03:33,101 --> 00:03:34,869 you'd never realize what I used to look like. 84 00:03:34,903 --> 00:03:36,771 When I as a kid, my face was haunted. 85 00:03:36,805 --> 00:03:40,542 People used to scream at me. 86 00:03:40,575 --> 00:03:43,478 -Oh. -And you what's gonna end up happening, right? 87 00:03:45,079 --> 00:03:48,049 The Zayn effect. Like, who is Zayn? 88 00:03:48,082 --> 00:03:51,052 -Zayn Malik? -I don't even know what that guy's music sounds like, 89 00:03:51,085 --> 00:03:53,254 but it doesn't even matter, he's so hot. 90 00:03:53,288 --> 00:03:54,623 -Yeah. He's hot. -TRAVIS: It's pretty good. 91 00:03:54,656 --> 00:03:55,724 -He's really hot. -Yeah. 92 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:57,058 DAVE: Anyways, you put all three 93 00:03:57,091 --> 00:04:00,128 of those things together and you have Lil Dicky. 94 00:04:00,161 --> 00:04:02,964 I'm Dave Burd. I'm also a hopeless romantic. 95 00:04:02,997 --> 00:04:05,734 I just learned you're supposed to call Hispanic people La-tinx. 96 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,903 And I love chicken fingers with a side of honey mu-stard. 97 00:04:08,937 --> 00:04:10,639 Let's make a billion dollars. Thank you. 98 00:04:10,672 --> 00:04:11,906 (laughter, applause) 99 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:13,442 Wow. 100 00:04:15,444 --> 00:04:20,148 We think you have the potential to be the next Lonely Island. 101 00:04:21,350 --> 00:04:22,617 Yeah. 102 00:04:22,651 --> 00:04:25,119 Is my music a joke to you guys? 103 00:04:25,153 --> 00:04:26,588 Yeah, it's so funny. 104 00:04:26,621 --> 00:04:28,256 -Hilarious. -DAVE: I am one 105 00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:30,659 of the five best rappers alive, probably. 106 00:04:30,692 --> 00:04:32,661 -Mm-mm. -Well. 107 00:04:32,694 --> 00:04:34,796 Well, I guess I'm not better than Nas, or, like, 108 00:04:34,829 --> 00:04:36,765 -Lil Wayne. Yeah. -Lil Wayne. 109 00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,166 -Young Thug, either. -MIKE: No. 110 00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:40,101 I have to, like, write it all-- I-I don't know. 111 00:04:40,134 --> 00:04:41,936 But I'm saying it's, like, ver-- It's not-- Like, Lonely Island, 112 00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:43,638 -I mean... -I'm-I'm so sorry. I didn't... 113 00:04:43,672 --> 00:04:45,674 I didn't mean to get off on the wrong foot. 114 00:04:45,707 --> 00:04:47,609 Um, what else are you working on? 115 00:04:47,642 --> 00:04:49,944 Well, I'm working on an album. 116 00:04:49,978 --> 00:04:50,979 That's great. 117 00:04:52,013 --> 00:04:53,648 It's called Penith. 118 00:04:53,682 --> 00:04:55,316 (laughter) 119 00:04:56,518 --> 00:04:58,186 Penith? 120 00:04:58,219 --> 00:04:59,821 (laughter) 121 00:05:01,490 --> 00:05:04,025 -(loud laughter) -He's just so funny. Penith? 122 00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:06,795 -They got it. -(stammers) No. Do you even know what "zenith" means? 123 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,130 -Do you even know, do you even know what you're laughing at? -KELSEY: You said "penith." 124 00:05:09,163 --> 00:05:10,532 Okay. You don't even know-- 125 00:05:10,565 --> 00:05:12,834 You guys don't even know what you're laughing at. 126 00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:13,868 (laughter echoes) 127 00:05:15,003 --> 00:05:16,471 PAM: Dave, 128 00:05:16,505 --> 00:05:17,972 I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. 129 00:05:18,006 --> 00:05:22,644 You're hilarious, but we are a record label. 130 00:05:22,677 --> 00:05:25,547 We make music, and your music is what we want. 131 00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:28,383 (laughs): Your rapping is amazing. 132 00:05:28,417 --> 00:05:30,385 -Yeah. It's good, right? -Yeah. 133 00:05:30,419 --> 00:05:33,154 -Yeah, we love it. -I'm an incredible rapper. 134 00:05:33,187 --> 00:05:35,056 -We concur. -I think so. 135 00:05:35,089 --> 00:05:37,191 -Thanks. -Question is, 136 00:05:37,225 --> 00:05:39,160 are you willing to settle for that? 137 00:05:39,193 --> 00:05:41,996 -How far do you want to go? -All right, cut the shit. 138 00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,398 If I ever sign with a label, 139 00:05:43,432 --> 00:05:45,400 it would only be to use them as a machine. 140 00:05:45,434 --> 00:05:48,069 Like, I would never want you guys touching the creative. 141 00:05:48,102 --> 00:05:49,504 There's no idea you could give me 142 00:05:49,538 --> 00:05:51,673 that I wouldn't already know myself better. 143 00:05:51,706 --> 00:05:53,875 Oh, absolutely. We're coming in just as partners. 144 00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:55,510 Nothing creative. That's all you. 145 00:05:55,544 --> 00:05:56,711 EXECUTIVE: Yeah, you do your thing. 146 00:05:56,745 --> 00:06:00,214 Just think of us as planets around your sun. 147 00:06:00,248 --> 00:06:03,518 Well, I believe in simulation theory right now, so that's... 148 00:06:03,552 --> 00:06:07,689 -Mm-hmm. -Tell me, in actuality, how you'd add value. 149 00:06:07,722 --> 00:06:09,924 Have you ever heard of New Music Fridays on Spotify? 150 00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:11,926 No. 151 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,028 -Of course I've heard of it. Everyone's... -Yeah. Yeah. 152 00:06:14,062 --> 00:06:16,364 That's where we come in. That's our job, the boring stuff, 153 00:06:16,397 --> 00:06:17,732 to put you on that front page. 154 00:06:17,766 --> 00:06:19,601 That would be useful. 155 00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:21,703 I mean, yeah. That-That's what you need them for. 156 00:06:21,736 --> 00:06:23,738 A label is about cross-pollination. 157 00:06:23,772 --> 00:06:25,574 It's about collaboration. 158 00:06:25,607 --> 00:06:28,543 Right. And you haven't worked with any other rappers, right? 159 00:06:28,577 --> 00:06:31,613 I mean, it's, like, not easy to just work with other rappers. 160 00:06:31,646 --> 00:06:33,615 I'm not, like, best friends with these guys. 161 00:06:33,648 --> 00:06:35,450 -Yeah, but we can make it easy for you. -JIM: Mm-hmm. 162 00:06:35,484 --> 00:06:38,219 We open doors, dude. That's what we do here. 163 00:06:38,252 --> 00:06:40,421 We'll be your whores, you leverage that. 164 00:06:40,455 --> 00:06:41,723 -My whores? -(Pam chuckles) 165 00:06:41,756 --> 00:06:43,391 -Whores. -For you. 166 00:06:43,424 --> 00:06:45,426 It's a metaphorical whore, like, 167 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,462 -I don't mean that romantically in any way. -Yeah, absolutely. 168 00:06:47,496 --> 00:06:49,130 I don't think she took it sexistly. 169 00:06:49,163 --> 00:06:50,632 And I-I didn't take it heterosexistly. 170 00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:52,066 I've seen a lot of male whores. 171 00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:54,769 And you won't even attempt to put a finger 172 00:06:54,803 --> 00:06:57,572 -on the creative in any way? -No. -Mm-mm. 173 00:06:57,606 --> 00:06:58,907 -Yeah. -PAM (chuckles): Yeah. -JIM: That being said, 174 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,442 I wouldn't mind setting you up with Benny Blanco. 175 00:07:01,476 --> 00:07:03,778 He's a superproducer pal of ours. 176 00:07:03,812 --> 00:07:07,916 Uh, every pop hit you see on Billboard, that's Benny. 177 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:11,285 -I mean, this guy is an out-and-out genius. -(imitating buzzer sound) 178 00:07:11,319 --> 00:07:12,754 What are you doing? Sit down. 179 00:07:12,787 --> 00:07:14,489 What are you doing? What are you doing? 180 00:07:14,523 --> 00:07:17,091 Not-on-the-same-page alert going off right now, guys. Sorry. 181 00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:19,093 -What's the issue? -I don't make pop music. 182 00:07:19,127 --> 00:07:20,762 I'm a rapper. I hate pop music. 183 00:07:20,795 --> 00:07:22,597 Why would I want to work with a pop producer? 184 00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:25,600 Oh, well, Benny doesn't just work with pop singers. 185 00:07:25,634 --> 00:07:28,136 He also works with rappers. He actually just 186 00:07:28,169 --> 00:07:29,604 -worked on a song with Swae Lee. -And... 187 00:07:29,638 --> 00:07:31,439 -You like Swae Lee? -He just did Kanye. 188 00:07:31,472 --> 00:07:32,841 -PAM: Yeah. -Oh, he works with Kanye? 189 00:07:32,874 --> 00:07:34,609 -JIM: Mm-hmm. -Sign me up. I'll do anything 190 00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:36,010 -this man says if he worked with Kanye. -MIKE: Yes. 191 00:07:36,044 --> 00:07:37,979 -Cool. -DAVE: You know, guys, 192 00:07:38,012 --> 00:07:39,480 in the beginning of this meeting, 193 00:07:39,514 --> 00:07:41,282 I was actually considering taking this glass 194 00:07:41,315 --> 00:07:42,684 and just hurling it through the window. 195 00:07:42,717 --> 00:07:43,952 Why would you tell them that? That's... 196 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:45,119 Just to set the tone. 197 00:07:45,153 --> 00:07:46,788 But now, 198 00:07:46,821 --> 00:07:49,223 -you have me listening. -We will take that meeting. 199 00:07:57,398 --> 00:08:01,135 (phone clicking) 200 00:08:01,169 --> 00:08:02,503 BENNY: Somebody lay me down, 201 00:08:02,537 --> 00:08:05,473 pour buttermilk all over me, 202 00:08:05,506 --> 00:08:08,009 dust me in a light dusting of corn flakes, 203 00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:10,511 front-flip me into a deep fryer, 204 00:08:10,545 --> 00:08:13,815 spit on my asshole, flip me back around, 205 00:08:13,848 --> 00:08:18,820 shove wasabi up my dickhole, put fucking sashimi all over me, 206 00:08:18,853 --> 00:08:21,823 light me on fire, gently... (exhales sharply) 207 00:08:21,856 --> 00:08:25,193 blow me off and lick down like my body's a maze 208 00:08:25,226 --> 00:08:27,729 till you get to the bottom-- right about there-- 209 00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:30,498 and I want you to suck me, right now. 210 00:08:30,531 --> 00:08:32,333 What's up, man? Benny Blanco. 211 00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:36,671 -(music playing faintly) -Wow. Great spot. 212 00:08:36,705 --> 00:08:39,207 Nice decor. Nice ambience in here. 213 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,409 Thanks, man. Oh, shit. I'm just finishing a session, okay? 214 00:08:41,442 --> 00:08:43,044 -So just like... -Okay. Wait a minute. Why is my song...? 215 00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:44,545 -This is my song. -Dicky. 216 00:08:44,579 --> 00:08:45,747 -(gasps) -Hey, bro. 217 00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:47,916 -I'm just watching your video. -Oh... 218 00:08:47,949 --> 00:08:49,417 -It's actually sick, dude. -Oh, my God. 219 00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:51,019 -Yeah. Hey. How are you? -(laughs): Hi. Nice to-- 220 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,553 -No, I'm so good. Yeah. -Good, good. 221 00:08:52,587 --> 00:08:54,422 -Um... -Best I've ever been in my life, I think. 222 00:08:54,455 --> 00:08:56,557 I got to roll. Um, you're gonna come tonight, right? 223 00:08:56,591 --> 00:08:57,859 -BENNY: Yeah, of course, man. -Cool, cool, cool. 224 00:08:57,892 --> 00:08:59,360 Party, tonight. Come to my house. 225 00:08:59,393 --> 00:09:00,729 -Your house party? -Yeah. My house party. 226 00:09:00,762 --> 00:09:02,530 -Come on, hang. -Uh, let me think about what I had 227 00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:04,532 going on, uh, and I've thought about it. There's nothing. 228 00:09:04,565 --> 00:09:06,868 -Nothing? -Yeah, I was actually just gonna PIBE. 229 00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:08,536 PIBE? 230 00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:10,038 Yeah, PIBE. Play It By Ear. 231 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,106 It's a new acronym that I'm trying to... 232 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,042 -get off the ground. Um... -Okay. 233 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,744 You know, it's got no legs yet. 234 00:09:15,777 --> 00:09:17,946 -Nothing. -If you pushed it, who knows, but... 235 00:09:17,979 --> 00:09:19,881 And by the way, my girlfriend is your biggest fan. 236 00:09:19,914 --> 00:09:21,249 -She's obs-- yeah, she's obsessed. -Biggest fan. 237 00:09:21,282 --> 00:09:23,251 Yeah, I never heard that before. No, I'm just... 238 00:09:23,284 --> 00:09:25,887 Real good idea, man. You got anything else? 239 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,289 -He's probably gonna remember this the rest of his life. -Yeah, uh... 240 00:09:28,322 --> 00:09:30,258 -I, uh, I got to roll... -Absolutely. 241 00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:32,794 ...but, um, yeah, tonight, you should come. 242 00:09:32,827 --> 00:09:34,896 -I'll come. -Yeah. Cool, cool. All right. 243 00:09:34,929 --> 00:09:35,964 Yep. 244 00:09:35,997 --> 00:09:37,298 -Cool. -Yep. We'll see ya. 245 00:09:37,331 --> 00:09:38,599 -Um... -Peace, man. 246 00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:40,101 Yeah. Biebs out. I'm just kidding. 247 00:09:40,134 --> 00:09:41,903 I don't actually say that. I'm pretty normal. 248 00:09:41,936 --> 00:09:42,904 -All right. -Yeah. 249 00:09:42,937 --> 00:09:44,238 Uh, I'm a normal guy, too, 250 00:09:44,272 --> 00:09:45,573 if you want to chill, or... 251 00:09:45,606 --> 00:09:46,741 JUSTIN: All right. Bye, Benny! 252 00:09:46,775 --> 00:09:48,409 BENNY: All right, peace! 253 00:09:48,442 --> 00:09:50,411 You know, you could be as big as him, 254 00:09:50,444 --> 00:09:52,080 like, very easily. 255 00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:54,415 Y-Yes. I've-I've always thought that. 256 00:09:54,448 --> 00:09:56,751 I mean, look, the one problem is, 257 00:09:56,785 --> 00:09:59,253 your music currently sucks, it's terrible. 258 00:09:59,287 --> 00:10:02,123 Hmm. Okay, I... you know, I think your music sucks. 259 00:10:02,156 --> 00:10:04,425 You make shitty pop music for 14-year-old girls. 260 00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:07,595 -Yeah. How many number ones do you have again? -Number ones? 261 00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:08,997 Like, what does that even mean? 262 00:10:09,030 --> 00:10:10,832 Like, who can define what a number one is? 263 00:10:10,865 --> 00:10:12,767 Oh, man, there's a small company down the street, 264 00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:14,268 it's called Billboard. 265 00:10:14,302 --> 00:10:16,470 How many Billboard number ones do you have? 266 00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:18,606 I don't check this... 267 00:10:18,639 --> 00:10:20,108 -Yeah. -...publication, but I, 268 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,843 I know the answer is none. 269 00:10:21,876 --> 00:10:24,012 -Yeah, the answer is none. -Why? How many do you have? 270 00:10:24,045 --> 00:10:26,781 I stopped counting at, like, 20 or something. 271 00:10:26,815 --> 00:10:27,949 Right. 272 00:10:27,982 --> 00:10:29,283 -Yeah. -Well... 273 00:10:29,317 --> 00:10:31,019 All right, this is depressing. Just, like... 274 00:10:31,052 --> 00:10:32,486 play me some of your music. 275 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,155 Like, unreleased music? 276 00:10:34,188 --> 00:10:37,158 (scoffs) Yeah, man. I want to hear some unreleased music. 277 00:10:37,191 --> 00:10:38,526 You have, like, two songs out. 278 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,296 Okay. This is just one of the many that I'm... 279 00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,365 * My flow is crazy, I don't spit nothin' basic * 280 00:10:44,398 --> 00:10:46,334 * For example, I could be like, ain't nobody * 281 00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:48,302 * Fuckin' with Lil Dickey when they get up on the shit * 282 00:10:48,336 --> 00:10:49,470 * And spit it really ridiculous, rippin' the shit * 283 00:10:49,503 --> 00:10:50,839 * Like it's never been did... * 284 00:10:50,872 --> 00:10:52,140 All right, stop right here. 285 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,976 Like, why are you, like... (speaking gibberish) 286 00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:57,045 Like, wh-what are you trying to prove? 287 00:10:57,078 --> 00:10:59,881 -I'm trying to show that, like, I'm a great rapper. -Dude, it's, like, 288 00:10:59,914 --> 00:11:01,682 verbal diarrhea-- I can't... it's, like, 289 00:11:01,716 --> 00:11:04,318 I'm just getting pounded with information over and over again 290 00:11:04,352 --> 00:11:05,987 -to my head. -Well, we only listened 291 00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:07,889 -to part of it, but... -By the way, 292 00:11:07,922 --> 00:11:08,990 who makes these beats? 293 00:11:09,023 --> 00:11:10,391 They're so white. 294 00:11:10,424 --> 00:11:13,161 My friend from overnight camp makes my beats. 295 00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,662 Um, and he's black. 296 00:11:14,695 --> 00:11:15,997 -(door closes) -ELSIE: Babe. 297 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:17,031 Oh. 298 00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:22,336 Hi. I need to go get some coffee. 299 00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:23,671 Do you want anything? 300 00:11:23,704 --> 00:11:25,506 Uh, no, I'm okay. 301 00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:27,075 You want anything, Dave? 302 00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:28,342 No, I'm... 303 00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:29,878 I'm, uh... 304 00:11:29,911 --> 00:11:31,712 I'm good. 305 00:11:36,117 --> 00:11:38,386 I know what you're thinking. 306 00:11:38,419 --> 00:11:41,722 How's a guy like André the Giant meets Danny DeVito 307 00:11:41,756 --> 00:11:44,025 -pull a girl like this? -I... 308 00:11:44,058 --> 00:11:45,393 truthfully was wondering that. 309 00:11:45,426 --> 00:11:47,261 My features are so grotesque, 310 00:11:47,295 --> 00:11:50,231 I'm like a science experiment gone wrong. 311 00:11:50,264 --> 00:11:51,933 And it's just, like, I... 312 00:11:51,966 --> 00:11:53,868 I don't know, I shot out the other side, 313 00:11:53,902 --> 00:11:55,236 -and now I'm hot. -Shut up. 314 00:11:55,269 --> 00:11:56,871 I don't know why you say these things. 315 00:11:56,905 --> 00:11:59,040 -You're not ugly. -Hmm. 316 00:11:59,073 --> 00:12:01,075 You guys actually kind of look like brothers. 317 00:12:01,109 --> 00:12:03,544 -That's 'cause we're both Jewish. -Jewish. 318 00:12:03,577 --> 00:12:04,913 Right. 319 00:12:05,914 --> 00:12:07,581 (exhaling) 320 00:12:07,615 --> 00:12:10,384 That's right, Justin Bieber 321 00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,620 invited me... to... 322 00:12:12,653 --> 00:12:14,555 (grunts) a party... tonight. 323 00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:16,390 Gonna go. 324 00:12:16,424 --> 00:12:18,893 -Yeah. -I told you that meeting was a good idea, Dave. 325 00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:20,394 You sure did. You were right. When you're right, 326 00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:21,562 -you're right, Mike. -Yes, I was. 327 00:12:21,595 --> 00:12:23,097 You know what? I'm gonna go get the good tongs. 328 00:12:23,131 --> 00:12:25,066 You do get the good tongs. I like when you get them. 329 00:12:25,099 --> 00:12:28,736 I get to meet Justin Bieber tonight? 330 00:12:28,769 --> 00:12:31,572 -Oh. -Oh, my God, do you think the Kardashians will be there? 331 00:12:31,605 --> 00:12:34,242 I don't think I can bring anybody to this thing. 332 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:36,577 -What? -I shouldn't bring somebody. 333 00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:38,279 You can't bring people to a party? 334 00:12:38,312 --> 00:12:40,114 I'm sure I could, but I don't know that I can, 335 00:12:40,148 --> 00:12:41,916 and I don't want to, like, hit him up and ask, 336 00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:43,317 'cause it's the whole, you know, I don't know 337 00:12:43,351 --> 00:12:45,119 the etiquette, so I'm gonna play it safe. 338 00:12:45,153 --> 00:12:47,588 The last thing I want to do is go to a party at Bieber's. 339 00:12:47,621 --> 00:12:49,457 Reverse psychology. 340 00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:51,792 -Okay. I'll consider it. -GATA: Hey, bro-bro. 341 00:12:51,826 --> 00:12:53,828 -What's up? -I ain't trying to go, either, my nigga. 342 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:55,429 Big facts. That's a-- you're not going. 343 00:12:55,463 --> 00:12:57,598 Okay, can you at least do me the favor 344 00:12:57,631 --> 00:13:00,301 of giving just every single detail about him? 345 00:13:00,334 --> 00:13:02,436 -Like, please tell me exactly what he smells like. -Okay, hold on, 346 00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:04,172 let me just go back-- eh! 347 00:13:04,205 --> 00:13:05,940 -I'm there. Citrus. -Oh! 348 00:13:05,974 --> 00:13:07,508 -Smells like citrus. -Mm. 349 00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,510 Jawline chiseled. It's jutting. 350 00:13:09,543 --> 00:13:10,778 It's, like, he's Tom Cruise-ian. 351 00:13:10,811 --> 00:13:12,280 It's exactly what you read about. 352 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,648 The ink pops off this guy's body. 353 00:13:14,682 --> 00:13:16,851 -I mean, he looks like high-end wallpaper in person. -Oh, my God. 354 00:13:16,885 --> 00:13:19,287 Bro, who cares about Justin Bieber? 355 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,788 Everybody on the planet. 356 00:13:20,821 --> 00:13:22,123 You know who I care about? 357 00:13:22,156 --> 00:13:23,992 Benny Blanco. 358 00:13:24,025 --> 00:13:26,527 So, tell me about the LeBron James of production. 359 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,696 He... he did, uh, talk about your beats. 360 00:13:28,729 --> 00:13:30,131 You see? Hold on. 361 00:13:30,164 --> 00:13:31,966 Let me... let me bask in my greatness. 362 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,202 And he said, "Who made your beats? 363 00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,504 "They suck... 364 00:13:36,537 --> 00:13:39,373 -GATA: Ha! -...and are too white." 365 00:13:39,407 --> 00:13:41,642 I'm telling you what he said. He said they were too white. 366 00:13:41,675 --> 00:13:43,044 -Oh... -He said I suck, too, so... 367 00:13:43,077 --> 00:13:45,146 Oh, he said you suck for not bringing your girlfriend 368 00:13:45,179 --> 00:13:47,481 -to the party of her dreams? Is that what he said? -It's a net-- 369 00:13:47,515 --> 00:13:48,682 it's, like, I'm there to network. 370 00:13:48,716 --> 00:13:50,218 I got this meeting from a label. It's, like... 371 00:13:50,251 --> 00:13:52,686 Actually, I decided I kind of don't really care about it, 372 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,989 because I have some totally chill, like, really cool plans 373 00:13:55,023 --> 00:13:56,224 with my friend Elz. 374 00:13:56,257 --> 00:13:57,491 -Whoo! -We're gonna go see 375 00:13:57,525 --> 00:13:58,893 the Pats-Birds at a bar, so... 376 00:13:58,927 --> 00:14:00,661 You're gonna go watch that at a bar? 377 00:14:00,694 --> 00:14:02,663 It's nationally televised. Why would you choose 378 00:14:02,696 --> 00:14:05,399 to surround yourself with everybody vying for a seat 379 00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:07,168 and the sound coming all over the place, 380 00:14:07,201 --> 00:14:08,736 no real clarity on, like... 381 00:14:08,769 --> 00:14:11,572 Why are you so passionate about the least important things? 382 00:14:11,605 --> 00:14:13,841 You know what? I'm sorry. Take a step back. 383 00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:16,210 I'm used to talking to Justin a certain way. 384 00:14:16,244 --> 00:14:18,179 I got to re-center myself-- I'm around my old group 385 00:14:18,212 --> 00:14:19,847 of friends-- recalibrate. 386 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,849 Uh, never mind. Do what you want to do. 387 00:14:21,882 --> 00:14:23,251 Have fun at the sports bar. 388 00:14:23,284 --> 00:14:25,186 All right. These steaks are almost done, kids. 389 00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:26,754 GATA: Aw, shit. 390 00:14:26,787 --> 00:14:27,855 I almost forgot. 391 00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:29,423 I got some salmon over here, bro. 392 00:14:29,457 --> 00:14:31,025 Fresh out the Atlantic. 393 00:14:31,059 --> 00:14:32,560 -Salmon? -Yeah, salmon, bro. 394 00:14:32,593 --> 00:14:34,562 You had salmon in your backpack? 395 00:14:34,595 --> 00:14:36,430 It's gonna be, like, really... 396 00:14:36,464 --> 00:14:38,066 a dream. 397 00:14:38,099 --> 00:14:39,934 What's up, bro, you gonna cook this shit for me or not? 398 00:14:39,968 --> 00:14:41,369 I-I cannot do that. 399 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,037 I'm not putting backpack salmon on my grill. 400 00:14:43,071 --> 00:14:46,040 This shit don't expire for another couple days, it say. 401 00:14:46,074 --> 00:14:48,076 Gata, okay, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm not doing that, all right? 402 00:14:48,109 --> 00:14:49,610 Why don't you guys come over here, 403 00:14:49,643 --> 00:14:51,912 have some homemade ice tea from yours truly, okay? 404 00:14:54,148 --> 00:14:56,750 GATA: What the fuck? Y'all got 405 00:14:56,784 --> 00:14:59,453 -a hole through the table? -Yeah. 406 00:14:59,487 --> 00:15:01,922 It's, uh... it's for milking. 407 00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,458 And we're not happy about it, are we? 408 00:15:04,492 --> 00:15:06,160 Uh... 409 00:15:11,099 --> 00:15:12,967 (loud cheering, whooping) 410 00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:14,935 Fuck! 411 00:15:14,969 --> 00:15:16,804 Bro, can you believe that this guy Benny Blanco 412 00:15:16,837 --> 00:15:18,439 says my beats are white? 413 00:15:18,472 --> 00:15:21,142 Tell that to my mom and dad, you know what I mean? 414 00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:24,278 -Can I ask you something? -Mm-hmm. 415 00:15:24,312 --> 00:15:27,948 Do you think Dave is gonna be as big as he thinks he is? 416 00:15:29,017 --> 00:15:31,285 He's either gonna be the way he says he is 417 00:15:31,319 --> 00:15:33,121 and he's gonna be, like, the biggest star in the world, 418 00:15:33,154 --> 00:15:35,990 or he's not, and he's gonna be, you know, 419 00:15:36,024 --> 00:15:39,127 some sad Jewish kid crying everywhere we go. 420 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,662 -MAN: Touchdown! -(cheering) 421 00:15:43,297 --> 00:15:45,933 Justin, how do you take your mind off being an artist? 422 00:15:45,966 --> 00:15:47,935 'Cause, you know, I find... Oh, me? 423 00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:51,605 I... I hoop, I grill chicken, guy stuff. 424 00:15:51,639 --> 00:15:53,774 Leo, I would not go in that bathroom. 425 00:15:53,807 --> 00:15:55,843 Renée Zellweger just, I think she shit her pants, 426 00:15:55,876 --> 00:15:56,844 to be honest, brother. 427 00:15:56,877 --> 00:15:58,846 Yes, Key & Peele, it is very common 428 00:15:58,879 --> 00:16:01,115 for hair to go all the way up a guy's shaft. 429 00:16:01,149 --> 00:16:03,451 I'm surprised you did not know that. 430 00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,019 LeBron, are you on Propecia? 431 00:16:05,053 --> 00:16:06,120 I am. 432 00:16:06,154 --> 00:16:07,321 Ri-Ri! 433 00:16:07,355 --> 00:16:08,989 What's up, girl? What are you doing? 434 00:16:09,023 --> 00:16:10,458 You want to go to the Met Gala next year 435 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,625 and dress as wedge salads? 436 00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:13,294 -Emma Stone... -Beyoncé... 437 00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:16,164 -What's that, Shaq? -Timothée, I saw Call Me by Your Name, 438 00:16:16,197 --> 00:16:18,366 and I actually got a full-on boner in the theater. 439 00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:20,000 And, you know, I'm not even gay. 440 00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:21,669 I just, it's such good acting. 441 00:16:21,702 --> 00:16:23,337 Really good sexual energy, brother. 442 00:16:23,371 --> 00:16:25,139 Elon, what is your ethnic background? 443 00:16:25,173 --> 00:16:26,207 You Korean, man? 444 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,508 Tom Clancy, I don't read, 445 00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:29,043 but, you know, people love ya. 446 00:16:29,077 --> 00:16:30,711 Mr. Chang, by the end of tonight 447 00:16:30,744 --> 00:16:33,047 I need a commitment that I can call you P.F. 448 00:16:33,081 --> 00:16:35,649 What do you say? I'll bet you a plate of lo mein. 449 00:16:35,683 --> 00:16:38,386 Justin, man-to-man, what's your boner life? 450 00:16:38,419 --> 00:16:39,987 Mr. Spacey... 451 00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,855 you should go. 452 00:16:41,889 --> 00:16:44,692 * I am 50 Cent * 453 00:16:44,725 --> 00:16:47,828 * I am 50 Cent, I am 50 Cent * 454 00:16:47,861 --> 00:16:49,663 * Bro * 455 00:16:49,697 --> 00:16:53,067 * I am 50 Cent, I am 50 Cent... * 456 00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:56,003 BENNY (calls): Hey, Dave! 457 00:16:56,036 --> 00:16:57,505 Hey! 458 00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,007 Somebody lay me down, 459 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,510 sous vide me in my own juices, 460 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,745 light up a hibachi grill, 461 00:17:04,778 --> 00:17:08,082 put a little bit of my breast into a pepper mill, 462 00:17:08,116 --> 00:17:10,218 pepper me with my own tits, 463 00:17:10,251 --> 00:17:11,585 -and suck me. -(laughs) 464 00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:13,687 What's up, man? 465 00:17:13,721 --> 00:17:15,089 Hey, man. 466 00:17:15,123 --> 00:17:17,024 I'm gonna come down to you. Just meet me 467 00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:19,893 behind the fourth Ping-Pong table. 468 00:17:20,894 --> 00:17:22,029 All right. 469 00:17:22,062 --> 00:17:23,564 BENNY: Hey, man, nice coat. 470 00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:26,033 I didn't realize you were in The Temptations. 471 00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:28,035 This house is so cool. 472 00:17:28,068 --> 00:17:30,104 I feel like Bieber probably kissed women 473 00:17:30,138 --> 00:17:32,072 in every crevice of it. 474 00:17:32,106 --> 00:17:34,074 Dude, this house sucks. Look at the art. 475 00:17:34,108 --> 00:17:35,409 He doesn't even own it. 476 00:17:35,443 --> 00:17:37,245 Universal pays for the whole thing. 477 00:17:37,278 --> 00:17:38,579 Whoa. Moving. 478 00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:40,548 Speaking of Universal, how... 479 00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:43,551 I'm trying to decide if I should sign with a label or not. 480 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,386 Do you have any, like, advice there? 481 00:17:45,419 --> 00:17:47,388 BENNY: Look, there are pros and cons. 482 00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:50,057 -It just depends on the artist. -Well, I'm the artist, man. 483 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,126 I'm obviously asking for that reason. 484 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,727 Like, I'd love to get into the minutiae with you. 485 00:17:53,761 --> 00:17:56,230 Yeah, man, I think I saw a few outlets over there 486 00:17:56,264 --> 00:17:57,731 where we could plug in some computers 487 00:17:57,765 --> 00:17:59,933 and do a little PowerPoint presentation. 488 00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:01,735 Should I have brought Justin, like, a bottle of wine? 489 00:18:01,769 --> 00:18:02,770 I don't know the etiquette. 490 00:18:02,803 --> 00:18:04,071 A bottle of wine? 491 00:18:04,104 --> 00:18:05,606 He's sober, he's a man of Christ. 492 00:18:05,639 --> 00:18:07,408 Plus, he's not even gonna be here. 493 00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:09,943 What do you mean he's not gonna be here? It's his party. 494 00:18:09,977 --> 00:18:11,579 Half the time he doesn't even come to these things. 495 00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,147 Sometimes he just goes out on a whim 496 00:18:13,181 --> 00:18:16,584 and gets a jet and goes to Peru or Vegas or something. 497 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,819 And then, sometimes he doesn't want to come 498 00:18:18,852 --> 00:18:20,254 and get pictures taken with, like, 499 00:18:20,288 --> 00:18:21,922 nine million people he doesn't know. 500 00:18:21,955 --> 00:18:23,757 -ELSIE: Babe? -That's so sad. 501 00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:24,758 Hi. 502 00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:25,926 What do you mean? 503 00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:27,495 -That's gonna be you. -Hi. 504 00:18:27,528 --> 00:18:28,496 Hey. 505 00:18:28,529 --> 00:18:30,264 -I love this jacket. -Yeah? 506 00:18:30,298 --> 00:18:32,166 Well, he was giving me shit for it, but he's got no taste. 507 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,836 Um, there's a bunch of really pretty girls here. 508 00:18:35,869 --> 00:18:37,104 -Really? -Yeah. 509 00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:39,106 You know, I'm a taken man. 510 00:18:39,139 --> 00:18:40,441 So I got a girlfriend. 511 00:18:40,474 --> 00:18:41,509 But I, I'll observe, sure. 512 00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:42,943 You have a...? 513 00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:44,678 Why didn't you bring her? 514 00:18:44,712 --> 00:18:46,514 I didn't know, like, the situation 515 00:18:46,547 --> 00:18:48,148 in terms of, like, bringing people. 516 00:18:48,182 --> 00:18:49,650 I didn't want to... 517 00:18:49,683 --> 00:18:51,952 hit you and be like, "Yo, I got to bring friends." 518 00:18:51,985 --> 00:18:53,287 It's, you know, it's kind of our first, uh, 519 00:18:53,321 --> 00:18:55,623 foray into the R.W. 520 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,124 Real world. 521 00:18:57,157 --> 00:18:58,626 -Do you want to go to the weed bar? -Yeah. 522 00:18:58,659 --> 00:18:59,693 All right, I'll see you in a bit, bud. 523 00:18:59,727 --> 00:19:01,995 I blow gas. 524 00:19:04,332 --> 00:19:07,134 (loud cheering, whooping) 525 00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:08,969 Mmm. 526 00:19:09,002 --> 00:19:10,304 Okay, can we...? 527 00:19:10,338 --> 00:19:11,672 Here's the new plan. 528 00:19:11,705 --> 00:19:13,874 Can we get browned out tonight? 529 00:19:13,907 --> 00:19:15,476 -Yes, ma'am. -Oh. 530 00:19:15,509 --> 00:19:16,810 Yes! 531 00:19:16,844 --> 00:19:18,045 What do you want? 532 00:19:18,078 --> 00:19:18,979 Uh, surprise me. 533 00:19:19,012 --> 00:19:20,381 Okay. 534 00:19:20,414 --> 00:19:22,850 MAN: Yo, Belichick. 535 00:19:22,883 --> 00:19:24,852 How you like that shit? 536 00:19:24,885 --> 00:19:26,420 I'm Belichick? 537 00:19:27,355 --> 00:19:29,022 I'm Tom Brady. 538 00:19:29,056 --> 00:19:30,824 Belichick wouldn't even be in a jersey, so... 539 00:19:30,858 --> 00:19:32,393 Probably more of a hoodie guy. 540 00:19:32,426 --> 00:19:33,994 Yeah, a hoodie, and he would cut off 541 00:19:34,027 --> 00:19:36,163 the sleeves like a badass. 542 00:19:36,196 --> 00:19:38,198 -So... -Holy shit. 543 00:19:38,232 --> 00:19:40,401 You actually know about sports? 544 00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:43,671 -Oh, my God, that's so crazy, right? -Oh, my God. 545 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:44,905 -It's-it's insane. -Yeah. 546 00:19:44,938 --> 00:19:46,173 How not typical of a girl. 547 00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:47,675 No, I know, you know, normally, like, they'll say, 548 00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:50,344 -like, the pink hat stuff, you know what I mean? -Yeah. 549 00:19:50,378 --> 00:19:51,679 -Yeah, yeah, crazy. -But you, like, totally know what's up. 550 00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:52,680 Yeah, I totally know what's up. 551 00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:53,847 -This is amazing. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 552 00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:55,349 You seem... 553 00:19:55,383 --> 00:19:56,850 like you're the worst. 554 00:19:56,884 --> 00:19:58,752 I-I'm confused. 'Cause you were being super cool 555 00:19:58,786 --> 00:20:00,220 and now you're being a huge bitch. 556 00:20:00,254 --> 00:20:02,189 -Did I, did I miss something somewhere? -Oh... 557 00:20:02,222 --> 00:20:03,691 -Yeah, you missed the part... -What was that? 558 00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,360 ...where you were just a full-blown douchebag. 559 00:20:06,394 --> 00:20:07,428 Oh, I see where this is going. 560 00:20:07,461 --> 00:20:08,696 Do we have a-a soapbox we can get for you? 561 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,264 You gonna, you gonna get up and tell me 562 00:20:10,298 --> 00:20:11,865 how much men suck-- is that what's gonna happen here? 563 00:20:11,899 --> 00:20:13,401 No, I-I don't want to tell you anything. 564 00:20:13,434 --> 00:20:14,868 I don't want to talk to you. 565 00:20:14,902 --> 00:20:15,936 -Yeah, no, it's totally cool though. -Yeah. 566 00:20:15,969 --> 00:20:17,438 Yeah, you just keep being the way you are. 567 00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:18,539 Two new deflated balls. 568 00:20:18,572 --> 00:20:20,374 -Fuck you... -And the Patriots! 569 00:20:20,408 --> 00:20:21,875 -MAN: And the Patriots. -Oh, my God! 570 00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:22,943 That's what I'm talking about. Chest bump, baby! 571 00:20:22,976 --> 00:20:24,878 -Fuckin' talking... -(both shouting) 572 00:20:24,912 --> 00:20:26,547 -Let's go! -Let's go! 573 00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:28,048 (laughs): Oh, my God. 574 00:20:28,081 --> 00:20:29,750 I want to key his car. 575 00:20:29,783 --> 00:20:31,084 -Douches. -Douches. 576 00:20:31,118 --> 00:20:33,554 (both laughing) 577 00:20:33,587 --> 00:20:34,922 Oh, God. 578 00:20:36,089 --> 00:20:37,958 Do the whole thing. Don't be a bitch. 579 00:20:37,991 --> 00:20:40,260 * 580 00:20:40,294 --> 00:20:42,763 * I'm smokin' a backwood full of them Skittles * 581 00:20:42,796 --> 00:20:44,765 * I feel like Craig stealin' boxes, nigga... * 582 00:20:44,798 --> 00:20:46,734 KOURTNEY: I would definitely 583 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,136 -have another baby. -Really? 584 00:20:49,169 --> 00:20:52,239 When I pulled Mason out of my vagina, 585 00:20:52,272 --> 00:20:55,476 I had this maternal obligation 586 00:20:55,509 --> 00:20:58,245 to do the same with my other two kids. 587 00:20:58,278 --> 00:21:00,581 Giving birth is so gnarly. 588 00:21:00,614 --> 00:21:02,583 No, it's such a good experience. 589 00:21:02,616 --> 00:21:03,917 It's actually really fun. 590 00:21:03,951 --> 00:21:05,486 I wish I could give birth. 591 00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:07,287 Nothing is li-- 592 00:21:07,321 --> 00:21:09,923 Like, think, you have, like, an orb in your... 593 00:21:09,957 --> 00:21:11,492 -Yeah. -It's not an orb. 594 00:21:11,525 --> 00:21:13,761 Like, obviously, it must suck in, like, in terms 595 00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,596 of, like, the vagina being just ripped open or whatever. 596 00:21:15,629 --> 00:21:18,499 -Oh. -But to, like, carry life and... 597 00:21:18,532 --> 00:21:20,834 Think about, like, a pregnant woman. 598 00:21:20,868 --> 00:21:22,836 All the mass. 599 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:25,673 A man actually gave birth. 600 00:21:25,706 --> 00:21:26,940 You could do it. 601 00:21:26,974 --> 00:21:28,609 What? 602 00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:29,943 It was a few years ago. 603 00:21:29,977 --> 00:21:32,112 -It was on Oprah. -Oprah? 604 00:21:32,145 --> 00:21:33,814 I feel like CNN would've had that story 605 00:21:33,847 --> 00:21:35,182 -way before Oprah. -No, I think it was everywhere. 606 00:21:35,215 --> 00:21:37,017 I think it was on magazine covers... 607 00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:39,119 I mean, any screen in... in, like, the world would've 608 00:21:39,152 --> 00:21:40,788 -been like, "Breaking news!" -It was, it was! 609 00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:42,289 Like, "everything's different now." 610 00:21:42,322 --> 00:21:44,157 -You would've... -Fuck you, I'm googling it. 611 00:21:44,191 --> 00:21:45,826 Yeah, google it-- google "man gives birth." 612 00:21:45,859 --> 00:21:48,295 It should pop up all over the place. 613 00:21:48,328 --> 00:21:50,030 -"Man... gives birth." -Yeah, a man gave birth. 614 00:21:50,063 --> 00:21:52,500 -No. -A man gave birth, 100%. 615 00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:53,967 -No! -2007. 616 00:21:54,001 --> 00:21:55,803 2007, what? There's no way. 617 00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:57,705 A trans man. 618 00:21:57,738 --> 00:21:59,840 "A trans man"? 619 00:21:59,873 --> 00:22:01,642 A transgender person. 620 00:22:01,675 --> 00:22:03,677 Transgender, well... 621 00:22:03,711 --> 00:22:05,646 And by the way, I'm... 622 00:22:05,679 --> 00:22:07,715 totally... 623 00:22:07,748 --> 00:22:09,517 aware that you have transgender family, 624 00:22:09,550 --> 00:22:11,719 and I mean nothing by it, but... 625 00:22:11,752 --> 00:22:13,153 for the sake of this argument, 626 00:22:13,186 --> 00:22:15,389 I cannot give birth. 627 00:22:15,423 --> 00:22:17,858 -You cannot give birth, so... -And that was the root of the... 628 00:22:17,891 --> 00:22:19,493 It was like me saying, "I want to give birth." 629 00:22:19,527 --> 00:22:21,495 So I'll let you have this. 630 00:22:21,529 --> 00:22:24,331 Thanks, Kourtney Kardashian. 631 00:22:24,364 --> 00:22:25,999 Yeah, I know your full name. 632 00:22:26,033 --> 00:22:27,535 Don't know your middle name or if you have one or... 633 00:22:27,568 --> 00:22:29,002 -Nice to meet you. -Dave. 634 00:22:29,036 --> 00:22:31,204 -My middle name is Mary. -Hey, let me ask you this. 635 00:22:31,238 --> 00:22:33,407 What's it like for your entire family 636 00:22:33,441 --> 00:22:37,377 to be the most famous people in the world at once together? 637 00:22:37,411 --> 00:22:40,514 I mean, I would rather do it with my entire family 638 00:22:40,548 --> 00:22:42,516 than do it alone. 639 00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:44,351 Right, hmm. 640 00:22:44,384 --> 00:22:46,353 Poignant. 641 00:22:46,386 --> 00:22:47,855 And by the way, 642 00:22:47,888 --> 00:22:49,256 if I could give birth, I'd pull it right 643 00:22:49,289 --> 00:22:50,958 -out of my asshole, same way you do. -(laughter) 644 00:22:56,296 --> 00:22:58,298 * 645 00:23:04,237 --> 00:23:06,440 Hey, Dave! 646 00:23:06,474 --> 00:23:09,076 Look who I just found trying to get in using my name. 647 00:23:09,109 --> 00:23:10,377 (laughs) 648 00:23:10,410 --> 00:23:13,781 -What the fuck? -What's up? (laughs) 649 00:23:13,814 --> 00:23:17,451 -How-- why are you guys here? -Aw, man, Justin Bieber's birthday party! 650 00:23:17,485 --> 00:23:20,888 -They used your name? -Hey, is your grandma's aunt's uncles coming? 651 00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:22,289 Should I alert some people at the door? 652 00:23:22,322 --> 00:23:23,724 I could text them right now if you want. 653 00:23:23,757 --> 00:23:24,892 I'm sorry, I did not... 654 00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:26,594 Wait, he told me what you said. 655 00:23:26,627 --> 00:23:28,228 Oh, yeah. 656 00:23:28,261 --> 00:23:29,630 Uh, he's the guy that makes my beats. 657 00:23:29,663 --> 00:23:31,298 Okay, okay. 658 00:23:31,331 --> 00:23:33,100 Honestly, your beats, they suck. 659 00:23:33,133 --> 00:23:34,902 -You just crushed my fucking dreams. -Wait, wait. 660 00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:36,403 If you have great beats, why don't you, 661 00:23:36,436 --> 00:23:37,938 why don't you send them to me? 662 00:23:37,971 --> 00:23:40,140 I don't got your fucking number, nigga. 663 00:23:40,173 --> 00:23:41,742 I'll give it to you right now. 664 00:23:41,775 --> 00:23:46,079 Oh, my God, you look like a mountain I want to climb. 665 00:23:46,113 --> 00:23:47,815 He doesn't even look drunk, man. 666 00:23:47,848 --> 00:23:49,583 DAVE: Oh, my God. 667 00:23:49,617 --> 00:23:51,418 He's gonna be a problem. 668 00:23:51,451 --> 00:23:53,420 What, where the fuck did you get that? 669 00:23:53,453 --> 00:23:55,122 The fridge-- they got some good shit 670 00:23:55,155 --> 00:23:56,990 -in that fridge. -The fridge, what are you...? 671 00:23:57,024 --> 00:23:58,759 That could be, like, eight days old or something. 672 00:23:58,792 --> 00:24:00,794 This is seafood-- what the fuck is wrong with you? 673 00:24:00,828 --> 00:24:02,663 Eight days? Oh, that's, oh... 674 00:24:03,697 --> 00:24:04,965 Okay, don't-- 675 00:24:04,998 --> 00:24:06,834 I know what you're gonna say. 676 00:24:06,867 --> 00:24:09,803 He was determined and very fucked up. 677 00:24:09,837 --> 00:24:12,305 So I didn't want him to come alone and to be completely 678 00:24:12,339 --> 00:24:14,775 -embarrassing... -I'm sorry. 679 00:24:14,808 --> 00:24:17,444 I should've invited you here in the first place. 680 00:24:17,477 --> 00:24:20,113 It's so stupid I give a fuck about what Justin Bieber thinks? 681 00:24:20,147 --> 00:24:21,849 -I can't ask for a plus-one? -Wait, really? 682 00:24:21,882 --> 00:24:23,483 Yeah, I love you, I should only care about, like, 683 00:24:23,517 --> 00:24:24,785 what the love of my life thinks. 684 00:24:24,818 --> 00:24:26,954 -(laughs): Really?! Oh... -Yeah, I love you. 685 00:24:26,987 --> 00:24:28,956 -I love you. -This is so... 686 00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:30,290 It's great to have you here. 687 00:24:30,323 --> 00:24:32,793 ...surprisingly good of you. 688 00:24:32,826 --> 00:24:34,862 -Oh, well, get used to it, Tootsie Pop. -(laughs) 689 00:24:34,895 --> 00:24:37,631 Oh, is, uh... where is he? 690 00:24:37,665 --> 00:24:39,466 -Oh, Justin? -Yeah. 691 00:24:39,499 --> 00:24:41,669 Oh, I don't even think he's here, to be honest... 692 00:24:41,702 --> 00:24:43,303 -Just wanted to say bye. -Oh! 693 00:24:43,336 --> 00:24:44,672 -It was so nice to meet you. -You, too. 694 00:24:44,705 --> 00:24:46,874 -Bye. Take care. -Bye! You're the best. 695 00:24:46,907 --> 00:24:48,375 Thank you, Kourt. 696 00:24:48,408 --> 00:24:50,678 -You're a good sport. -Bye. 697 00:24:50,711 --> 00:24:52,145 So I just want you to know 698 00:24:52,179 --> 00:24:53,647 -I'm the first to admit it. -I'm sorry. 699 00:24:53,681 --> 00:24:54,882 What just... what? 700 00:24:54,915 --> 00:24:56,149 -Oh, yeah. -What just happened? 701 00:24:56,183 --> 00:24:57,217 -Kourt? -Did you see what she...? 702 00:24:57,250 --> 00:24:58,719 -Kourt?! -Kourt, yeah. 703 00:24:58,752 --> 00:25:00,320 We got in an argument that I won. 704 00:25:00,353 --> 00:25:03,557 I heard her, I heard her-her vocal fry in my own ears. 705 00:25:03,591 --> 00:25:05,826 -Her vocal fry? -And I looked at her beautiful skin. 706 00:25:05,859 --> 00:25:07,995 -What did she say? What did she say exactly? -I think she... 707 00:25:08,028 --> 00:25:10,197 She said, well, I think she said to me, "You're the best." 708 00:25:10,230 --> 00:25:11,832 Oh, my God! 709 00:25:11,865 --> 00:25:15,535 Excuse me, fucking cutie pie coming through. 710 00:25:15,569 --> 00:25:17,337 Oh, fuck! 711 00:25:17,370 --> 00:25:18,872 It's fucking Marshmello. 712 00:25:18,906 --> 00:25:21,575 Man, look at you. (laughs) 713 00:25:21,609 --> 00:25:22,876 Look at me, guys, I'm Marshmello! 714 00:25:22,910 --> 00:25:24,845 So what are you gonna do about it then? 715 00:25:24,878 --> 00:25:27,915 Oh, wait, you're a table! (laughs) 716 00:25:27,948 --> 00:25:29,750 -Do you talk?! -He's fully blacked out. 717 00:25:29,783 --> 00:25:31,719 Are you a robot? Hey, man, come on. 718 00:25:31,752 --> 00:25:32,920 We're, like, at somebody's fucking birthday party, 719 00:25:32,953 --> 00:25:34,354 bro, take the fucking mask off. 720 00:25:34,387 --> 00:25:36,023 Be a normal guy for one night, okay? 721 00:25:36,056 --> 00:25:37,858 Do we stop him? 722 00:25:37,891 --> 00:25:40,360 You fucking ugly bitch. (laughing) 723 00:25:40,393 --> 00:25:41,629 (people gasping) 724 00:25:43,597 --> 00:25:45,098 -(gasps) -ELZ: Oh, my fucking God! 725 00:25:45,132 --> 00:25:47,067 Fucking God! 726 00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:48,736 I'll have to call you tomorrow or something. 727 00:25:48,769 --> 00:25:50,604 ELZ: Fuck! Bro, what is wrong with you, man?! 728 00:25:50,638 --> 00:25:52,105 What the fuck?! 729 00:25:52,139 --> 00:25:54,141 * 730 00:26:07,454 --> 00:26:09,389 * I got angels running away * 731 00:26:09,422 --> 00:26:11,424 * I got demons huntin' me * 732 00:26:11,458 --> 00:26:13,293 * I know 'Pac was 25 * 733 00:26:13,326 --> 00:26:15,462 * I know Jesus 33 * 734 00:26:15,495 --> 00:26:17,564 * I tell Death to keep a distance * 735 00:26:17,597 --> 00:26:19,599 * I think he obsessed with me * 736 00:26:19,633 --> 00:26:21,301 * I say, "God, that's a woman" * 737 00:26:21,334 --> 00:26:23,236 * I know she would die for me * 738 00:26:23,270 --> 00:26:24,772 * They want a bar code on my wrist * 739 00:26:24,805 --> 00:26:26,907 * Bar code on my wrist * 740 00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,776 * To auction off the kids that don't fit their description * 741 00:26:28,809 --> 00:26:30,744 -* Of a utopia * -* Black * 742 00:26:30,778 --> 00:26:32,813 * Like a problem won't exist if I just don't exist * 743 00:26:32,846 --> 00:26:35,448 * If I grew up without a single pot to piss in, pardon me for * 744 00:26:35,482 --> 00:26:37,818 * Ventin' Congress got the nerve to call itself religious * 745 00:26:37,851 --> 00:26:40,487 * Rich just gettin' richer, we just tryin' to live our life * 746 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,123 * Mama mixed the vodka, now they tryin' to take his life. * 747 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,130 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 748 00:26:55,202 --> 00:26:57,738 -I'm a once-in-a-generation artist. -Oh. 749 00:26:57,838 --> 00:27:00,874 Who just got verified on Twitter, about, what, nine days ago? 750 00:27:00,908 --> 00:27:03,176 I'm glad you feel good that a robot told you you're worth it. 751 00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:04,577 * Hi, I'm Dave * 752 00:27:11,318 --> 00:27:12,585 -Mom. -Yes? 753 00:27:12,686 --> 00:27:15,022 -Okay. I want a big party this year. -Serious? 754 00:27:15,055 --> 00:27:17,257 -I want a quinceañera. -Quinceañera? 755 00:27:17,357 --> 00:27:20,660 We can't do that. We're too white for that. We're not allowed. 756 00:27:27,534 --> 00:27:31,404 -Everything is just getting really weird. -(fly buzzing) 757 00:27:31,438 --> 00:27:33,506 -You know? -Yeah. Let me write that down. 758 00:27:35,843 --> 00:27:36,944 -Here it comes. -(shouts) 759 00:27:38,245 --> 00:27:39,713 -Take off your hat. -I can't. 760 00:27:39,747 --> 00:27:41,749 -Take off this enormous jacket. -Mm-mmm. 761 00:27:41,782 --> 00:27:43,683 -And stop showing up so late. -Mm-mmm. 762 00:27:46,286 --> 00:27:48,455 -(grunts) -(gasps) Oh, God. Are you okay? 763 00:27:48,555 --> 00:27:49,857 Oh, no. No. Shut up. 764 00:27:58,065 --> 00:28:00,533 CHILDREN: Mummy! Mummy! 765 00:28:00,567 --> 00:28:03,103 (high-pitched voice) Mummy isn't here. Try next door. 766 00:28:03,136 --> 00:28:04,371 CHILDREN: Mummy! 767 00:28:04,404 --> 00:28:07,607 WOMAN: Oh, my God. No, got the wrong house. 768 00:28:09,142 --> 00:28:10,778 How long are we supposed to wait... 769 00:28:12,579 --> 00:28:14,647 to feel comfortable with women having power? 770 00:28:16,917 --> 00:28:19,386 How much time do we give people to adapt to change? 771 00:28:25,558 --> 00:28:26,960 WOMAN: What is Devs? 772 00:28:28,128 --> 00:28:29,462 What is Devs?