1 00:00:01,022 --> 00:00:02,491 (Muzak playing) 2 00:00:03,892 --> 00:00:08,397 "Total protection from the sun." 3 00:00:08,997 --> 00:00:12,167 (up-tempo folk music) 4 00:00:14,369 --> 00:00:15,837 -VOCALIST: Hey! -(bat squeaks) 5 00:00:25,046 --> 00:00:28,617 You should play the drums. I feel like no one knows. 6 00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,219 On that musty-ass kit? 7 00:00:30,252 --> 00:00:32,154 Dude, I'm too good for this talent show. 8 00:00:32,187 --> 00:00:33,555 Foo... 9 00:00:33,588 --> 00:00:36,291 -ALL: Foo... -JAKE: Tuna, 10 00:00:36,325 --> 00:00:37,992 you need to stop lying. 11 00:00:38,026 --> 00:00:40,229 -There was candy. -Why would I lie about that? 12 00:00:40,262 --> 00:00:42,897 If there was candy in my pubes, that would be awesome. 13 00:00:42,931 --> 00:00:45,867 So your bush is just green and looks like Pop Rocks? 14 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:47,869 You just saw a straight bush. 15 00:00:47,902 --> 00:00:49,238 Hey, he's just mad 'cause he's got 16 00:00:49,271 --> 00:00:50,839 the smallest dick in the bunk. 17 00:00:50,872 --> 00:00:51,906 -(laughter) -No, I don't. 18 00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:53,575 We haven't even seen everyone's anyways. 19 00:00:53,608 --> 00:00:56,845 Well, considering Burd showers with a bathing suit on, 20 00:00:56,878 --> 00:00:58,447 my money's on him. 21 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,515 (laughter) 22 00:01:00,549 --> 00:01:02,551 I feel like dropping a Burd Bomb. 23 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,852 -Oh, no way. -Okay. 24 00:01:03,885 --> 00:01:05,520 -You guys want one? -OTHERS: Yeah. 25 00:01:05,554 --> 00:01:08,623 Make this the funniest shit I've ever saw. 26 00:01:08,657 --> 00:01:10,625 (exhales sharply) 27 00:01:13,061 --> 00:01:15,397 What did the Chinese restaurant owner do 28 00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:17,031 on Christmas Day, when he knew 29 00:01:17,065 --> 00:01:19,768 every single Jew would be coming in for his foo? 30 00:01:19,801 --> 00:01:20,902 OTHERS: What? 31 00:01:22,204 --> 00:01:25,174 He got ahead of it. 32 00:01:25,207 --> 00:01:27,041 (laughter) 33 00:01:30,078 --> 00:01:33,782 You got something... you got something on your glasses. 34 00:01:33,815 --> 00:01:36,485 -Is that a booger I see? -You got a little... 35 00:01:36,518 --> 00:01:38,019 -* Hi, I'm Dave * -* I'm Lil Dicky * 36 00:01:38,052 --> 00:01:39,288 -* Hi, I'm Dave * -* Who's Dave? * 37 00:01:39,321 --> 00:01:40,589 * Hi, I'm Dave. * 38 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:43,558 DAVE: Oh, my God, the anticipation. Please, please, 39 00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:45,394 -please, please... -CAROL: Company chicken 40 00:01:45,427 --> 00:01:48,363 and company noodles for my little boy. 41 00:01:48,397 --> 00:01:51,266 Mmm! This looks like a very strong batch. 42 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:52,601 Thanks, sweet'ums. 43 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,068 Why do y'all call it company chicken? 44 00:01:54,102 --> 00:01:56,037 Uh, it's what I made whenever company came over. 45 00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:59,274 Elliot was company quite often. 46 00:01:59,308 --> 00:02:01,042 Oh, that's so cute, Elliot. 47 00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:02,444 (whispers): Burn in hell. 48 00:02:02,477 --> 00:02:04,946 Oh, David, I used more of the gift card. 49 00:02:04,979 --> 00:02:07,249 I love that spa, 50 00:02:07,282 --> 00:02:10,552 and I think of you every time I get facials. 51 00:02:10,585 --> 00:02:11,553 GATA: Y'all got any more of these crackers? 52 00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:14,122 Oh, you like the matzah? 53 00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:17,091 Like the cheese? This mozzarella and cheese crackers? 54 00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:20,495 -No, that's unleavened bread. -Bad bite. Ow. Sorry. 55 00:02:20,529 --> 00:02:22,096 -Bad bite. -So, uh, Gator, 56 00:02:22,130 --> 00:02:24,666 is this your first time in Philadelphia? 57 00:02:24,699 --> 00:02:26,301 Nah, I been here a few times, like, you know, 58 00:02:26,335 --> 00:02:27,969 when my boy used to open up for Tyga. 59 00:02:28,002 --> 00:02:29,538 -Uh-huh. -Gator, Tiger. 60 00:02:29,571 --> 00:02:31,240 Who's next, Armadillo? 61 00:02:31,273 --> 00:02:32,641 (both laugh) 62 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,809 G-A-T-A, you know, it stands for Going Against the Average. 63 00:02:34,843 --> 00:02:36,711 You know what I mean? I'm trying to be way above average. 64 00:02:36,745 --> 00:02:38,012 I love that. 65 00:02:38,046 --> 00:02:39,814 It's an acronym, it's not reptilian. 66 00:02:39,848 --> 00:02:41,716 -CAROL: Oh. -Wait, speaking of reptiles, 67 00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:43,852 what ever happened to Lenny and Lenny? 68 00:02:43,885 --> 00:02:46,621 They died years ago. We had two turtles, 69 00:02:46,655 --> 00:02:49,758 but we couldn't tell them apart, so Lenny, Lenny. 70 00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:51,793 Actually, they drowned in their own "feshus." 71 00:02:51,826 --> 00:02:55,163 Yeah. It was an allergic reaction to the bacteria... 72 00:02:55,196 --> 00:02:58,767 -(mutters) -It's-it's feces, Don. 73 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,469 That's what I said, feshus. 74 00:03:00,502 --> 00:03:01,636 No. F... 75 00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:03,238 -I just... -Feces. 76 00:03:03,272 --> 00:03:04,873 That's what-- I said "feshus." 77 00:03:04,906 --> 00:03:07,141 -Don-Don, are you saying "feshus"? -"Feshus." Yes. 78 00:03:07,175 --> 00:03:09,143 Fesh-- Yeah, that's right. That's right. Feshus. 79 00:03:09,177 --> 00:03:10,144 -Th-Thank you, Michael. -Feshus? 80 00:03:10,178 --> 00:03:11,380 CAROL: It's feces. 81 00:03:11,413 --> 00:03:13,047 All right, I feel like I'm being punk'd right now. 82 00:03:13,081 --> 00:03:15,650 -Okay, Michael, Michael... -Feshus, yeah, feshus. Mm-hmm? 83 00:03:15,684 --> 00:03:19,321 Um, how are ticket sales being handled 84 00:03:19,354 --> 00:03:21,155 for Dave's concert? 85 00:03:21,189 --> 00:03:23,191 They're-- What are you-- I don't-- What do you mean? 86 00:03:23,224 --> 00:03:25,026 -What does that-- What do you mean? -Well, I mean, how... 87 00:03:25,059 --> 00:03:26,661 Hey, honey, they just got in, you know? 88 00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:29,331 You don't have to ask every question right now. 89 00:03:29,364 --> 00:03:31,099 -Okay. -He has a lot to do. 90 00:03:31,132 --> 00:03:34,603 Fine. Perfect. So, I don't want to take up your time tomorrow. 91 00:03:34,636 --> 00:03:37,105 She's farshtunken. What-what can I say? 92 00:03:37,138 --> 00:03:38,907 MIKE: I get it. We're all excited. No, I know, we're-- 93 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:40,074 -Oh, there's a list. -CAROL: Okay, hang on. 94 00:03:40,108 --> 00:03:42,010 -Okay. -What is that? 95 00:03:42,043 --> 00:03:44,713 So, I have some questions. 96 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,548 Uh, is it assigned seating? 97 00:03:46,581 --> 00:03:51,686 Oh, God, is there seating or-or is this like a mash pit? 98 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,955 Because we have invited friends... 99 00:03:53,988 --> 00:03:56,291 -They can't stand. -DAVE: Speaking of friends... -Yeah. 100 00:03:56,325 --> 00:03:59,728 You got to get all of my camp friends on the backstage list. 101 00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,596 Not just G.A. I need all my early adopters 102 00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:04,366 -right there with me. -Bro, why? 103 00:04:04,399 --> 00:04:05,767 What do you mean, why? 104 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:10,071 Oh, can we take photos or videos during the show? 105 00:04:10,104 --> 00:04:12,307 Yeah. I mean, yeah, 106 00:04:12,341 --> 00:04:14,943 -if you have your phone on you, you certainly can. -Oh, wait. 107 00:04:14,976 --> 00:04:16,911 This is a good-- Well, I'm not gonna ask this. Don... 108 00:04:16,945 --> 00:04:18,613 -How long is this list? -This is... 109 00:04:18,647 --> 00:04:20,081 -Don has a question. That's your question. -Thank you, thank you. 110 00:04:20,114 --> 00:04:22,317 Mike, Mike, will there-- will there be any situations 111 00:04:22,351 --> 00:04:24,018 that involve tipping? 112 00:04:24,052 --> 00:04:27,221 -Because maybe we need to bring some small bills. -(phone chimes) 113 00:04:27,255 --> 00:04:28,557 I don't think there's a lot of tipping that goes on 114 00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:30,058 at concerts, but that being said, 115 00:04:30,091 --> 00:04:32,861 I just have cash as just like a kind of a-a rule of thumb. 116 00:04:32,894 --> 00:04:34,729 -CAROL: David... please. -DON: That's very good. -MIKE: Yeah, just in case. 117 00:04:34,763 --> 00:04:36,431 At the table, bro? Come on, man. 118 00:04:36,465 --> 00:04:40,301 And, Gota, Gata, Gota... 119 00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:42,704 Yeah. My name is Davionte, if that's easier, 120 00:04:42,737 --> 00:04:44,305 but you could just call me Gata. 121 00:04:44,339 --> 00:04:47,241 Okay. Gata, 122 00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:49,077 -what do you do? -I'm the hype man. 123 00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:50,879 I remember all your son's songs front to back, 124 00:04:50,912 --> 00:04:52,481 you know what I mean? Make sure he doesn't miss a beat. 125 00:04:52,514 --> 00:04:54,749 Every other word, I'm there. Hype! You know what I'm saying? 126 00:04:54,783 --> 00:04:56,150 -Oh, wow. (laughs) -Know what I mean? 127 00:04:56,184 --> 00:04:57,786 -Get the crowd all hyped. -Yeah. 128 00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:00,389 Left, right, hands in the air, like you don't care type shit. 129 00:05:00,422 --> 00:05:02,724 Oops. I didn't mean to cuss like that. 130 00:05:02,757 --> 00:05:04,793 You can curse in this house. 131 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,828 Wait, we can curse in this house now? 132 00:05:06,861 --> 00:05:08,963 Well, you're not ten. 133 00:05:08,997 --> 00:05:10,599 Nigga, what the fuck? 134 00:05:10,632 --> 00:05:12,401 (laughter) 135 00:05:12,434 --> 00:05:14,436 CAROL: Okay. 136 00:05:16,938 --> 00:05:18,907 Welcome to the basement, Mr. Gata. 137 00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,675 Damn, the basement, bro? Come on, man. 138 00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:22,711 I know y'all got an attic, bro. Put me at the top, bro. 139 00:05:22,744 --> 00:05:24,012 This shit sounds like it's about to be 140 00:05:24,045 --> 00:05:25,647 dusty and crusty down here. 141 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,083 -Damn! This shit is hard as hell, bro. -Mm-hmm. 142 00:05:29,117 --> 00:05:31,352 GATA: Look at the decor, you got it laid out for a peep. 143 00:05:31,386 --> 00:05:33,688 Best room in the whole house. So many memories down here. 144 00:05:33,722 --> 00:05:35,356 So many memories. I see, bro. 145 00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:38,159 What's up with all the overnight camp stuff, though? 146 00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:39,594 Did you lose your virginity there or what? 147 00:05:39,628 --> 00:05:41,029 Uh, no, far from it. 148 00:05:41,062 --> 00:05:42,531 I actually never even kissed a girl there. 149 00:05:42,564 --> 00:05:44,365 -Man. -But it was, like, very-- 150 00:05:44,399 --> 00:05:45,834 It's probably my favorite part of life, to be honest. 151 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:49,303 Like, that's where I really felt like a star for the first time 152 00:05:49,337 --> 00:05:52,040 and developed as a performer. 153 00:05:52,073 --> 00:05:54,208 Like, there was this one talent show in particular 154 00:05:54,242 --> 00:05:56,578 where I was not supposed to go onstage at all, 155 00:05:56,611 --> 00:05:58,146 and the whole camp just started chanting 156 00:05:58,179 --> 00:05:59,247 "We want Burd, we want Burd," 157 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,182 because I was so funny, and everyone knew it. 158 00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:03,151 And I went onstage with, like, no idea what I was going to do, 159 00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:04,385 and I killed it. 160 00:06:04,419 --> 00:06:05,887 And I feel like from that point on, 161 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,355 I just knew that I was 162 00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:10,358 destined to be, like, a star. 163 00:06:10,391 --> 00:06:11,993 Look at us now. You in your hometown. 164 00:06:12,026 --> 00:06:13,194 We got to turn the fuck up, my nigga. 165 00:06:13,227 --> 00:06:14,529 I got the hookup at a club, baby. 166 00:06:14,563 --> 00:06:15,730 We got to go out and T up. 167 00:06:15,764 --> 00:06:17,466 To-- Out to the clu-- 168 00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:19,868 I don't know. How do you know someone in Philadelphia? 169 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,335 You've been here for, like, two hours. 170 00:06:21,369 --> 00:06:23,905 The dude at the airport, man. He said, "Yo, come, 171 00:06:23,938 --> 00:06:26,708 bring LD, bitches, bottles, table." (grunts) 172 00:06:26,741 --> 00:06:29,010 -I got a lot on my mind. Let's take it one day at a time. -All right. Bet. 173 00:06:29,043 --> 00:06:30,612 Are you good? Do you have everything you need? 174 00:06:30,645 --> 00:06:33,381 -I'm a player, bro. -What's that you're doing with your hands? 175 00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:36,317 -Just makes me fall asleep faster. I'm good, bro. -Okay. 176 00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:37,886 Previously on Tucking Gata In... 177 00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,320 Ah, I'm cool, bro. 178 00:06:39,353 --> 00:06:41,823 All right, last week, Gata didn't want to get tucked in. 179 00:06:41,856 --> 00:06:44,258 -You tucking a grown-ass man in, bro. -That's right. 180 00:06:44,292 --> 00:06:45,927 Standard tucking, no big deal. 181 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,161 Just getting the legs right. Everything good. 182 00:06:47,195 --> 00:06:48,563 You know house rules. 183 00:06:48,597 --> 00:06:49,864 Are you, uh, good? You're poofed, everything's... 184 00:06:49,898 --> 00:06:51,933 -Man, I'm good. -All right, and one kiss 185 00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:53,401 on the cheek and I am out of here. 186 00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:55,036 Ah, I'm cool on all that funny shit, bro. 187 00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:57,271 Just one kiss and I'm gone. Come. 188 00:06:57,305 --> 00:06:59,641 Nah, player. You know I ain't rocking like that. I'm good. 189 00:06:59,674 --> 00:07:01,275 -Play on, player. -All right, bro. 190 00:07:01,309 --> 00:07:02,711 -See you in the a.m. -You, too, bro. 191 00:07:02,744 --> 00:07:04,979 -I love you, dude. -Man, I love me, too. 192 00:07:05,013 --> 00:07:06,047 Good night. 193 00:07:13,054 --> 00:07:16,057 Hey, Care Bear, did you guys change the WiFi password? 194 00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,692 Because I can't connect, and I have to download 195 00:07:17,726 --> 00:07:19,661 this huge video file for Dave's set. 196 00:07:19,694 --> 00:07:21,963 Yeah, it's out. We need someone to fix it. 197 00:07:21,996 --> 00:07:24,733 -Jesus Christ. -What? 198 00:07:24,766 --> 00:07:27,401 Well, I can't believe him. 199 00:07:27,435 --> 00:07:29,638 MIKE: Well, I mean, a man should wash his own car. 200 00:07:29,671 --> 00:07:32,574 -Those things are so expensive for no re... -Michael, that's not his car. 201 00:07:32,607 --> 00:07:35,409 His is in the garage. He's washing the wrong car. 202 00:07:35,443 --> 00:07:37,879 MIKE: Oh, my God. That's-- 203 00:07:37,912 --> 00:07:41,015 I mean, that's embarrassing. Oh, my-- Look at that. 204 00:07:41,049 --> 00:07:43,084 He's getting in the wheels. What should we-- 205 00:07:43,117 --> 00:07:45,253 -Do you want me to tell him? I can go stop him. -No. 206 00:07:45,286 --> 00:07:46,921 Let him waste his fucking time. 207 00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:50,959 -He's making somebody happy. -(car alarm chirping) 208 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,695 Jesus Christ. 209 00:07:53,728 --> 00:07:55,530 -Michael. -Yeah. 210 00:07:55,564 --> 00:07:58,600 Where... where did we leave off? 211 00:07:58,633 --> 00:08:00,468 Nineteen. 212 00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:02,937 How do we prevent people 213 00:08:02,971 --> 00:08:05,907 from being scalped for Dave's tickets? 214 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:08,142 I promise you 215 00:08:08,176 --> 00:08:11,445 nobody is gonna get scalped for Dave's tickets. 216 00:08:11,479 --> 00:08:14,015 -Good. That's great. -Okay? Mm-hmm. 217 00:08:14,048 --> 00:08:18,853 Will-will other rapper artists' parents be there? 218 00:08:18,887 --> 00:08:21,155 And if so, do you know their names? 219 00:08:21,189 --> 00:08:26,094 Uh, yeah. Actually, yes, Meek Mill's parents will be there. 220 00:08:26,127 --> 00:08:27,662 -Meek Mill's? -Mm-hmm. 221 00:08:27,696 --> 00:08:29,363 Uh, it's Bob and Sharon Mill. 222 00:08:29,397 --> 00:08:31,566 -Bob and Sharon? -Bob and Sharon Mill. Yeah, very nice. 223 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:36,204 All right. Uh... What is HubStub? 224 00:08:37,572 --> 00:08:39,674 * Walk in the club with a cape... * 225 00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:41,242 Yo, Philly, how y'all feeling? 226 00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:42,711 (cheering) 227 00:08:42,744 --> 00:08:45,847 Oh, man, I fucking hate this. 228 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,449 Tour manager's got to be with the artist. You got to be here. 229 00:08:48,482 --> 00:08:50,585 -I'm gonna do work. -Work? 230 00:08:50,619 --> 00:08:52,587 -Huh? -You're gonna work in here? 231 00:08:52,621 --> 00:08:53,855 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 232 00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:54,856 (whooping) 233 00:08:54,889 --> 00:08:56,257 DAVE: Oh! 234 00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,961 Hi. Cool. 235 00:08:59,994 --> 00:09:02,496 Thank you. You don't have to keep-- We don't have to-- 236 00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:04,232 You're good. You can just put it down. 237 00:09:04,265 --> 00:09:07,101 ELZ: Hey, you look like a rapper right now, low-key. 238 00:09:07,135 --> 00:09:09,671 You don't need to keep dancing. It's fine. Thank you, though. 239 00:09:09,704 --> 00:09:10,805 ELZ: This is their job. 240 00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:12,674 They're really gonna just keep doing this. 241 00:09:12,707 --> 00:09:14,876 -Burd! -Tuna! 242 00:09:14,909 --> 00:09:17,511 The bunk! The whole camp is here. Yeah, come in. 243 00:09:17,545 --> 00:09:18,579 Wha... 244 00:09:18,613 --> 00:09:20,014 DAVE: Ah, man. 245 00:09:20,048 --> 00:09:22,817 -Goddamn. (laughs) -Hey! Good to see you. 246 00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:26,220 -Looking good, as always. -Hey, get drinks, get drinks. Get in here. 247 00:09:26,254 --> 00:09:27,689 Elz, Elz, shift. 248 00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:29,490 Bro, there's no fucking space. 249 00:09:29,523 --> 00:09:32,727 -Just shift. -Do you think we can fit more guys in here? 250 00:09:32,761 --> 00:09:34,228 I can't hear you. 251 00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:35,797 Hey, you guys want drinks? 252 00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:37,398 Camp Lebec. 253 00:09:37,431 --> 00:09:39,267 One roof. We're back, baby. 254 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:42,170 -The bunk is back together. -(whooping, laughter) 255 00:09:42,203 --> 00:09:43,672 * Came a long way from a motherfucking O.Z. * 256 00:09:43,705 --> 00:09:45,139 * Hyphy women here talk to the police * 257 00:09:45,173 --> 00:09:47,008 * Try and move fast, your shit got it slowly * 258 00:09:47,041 --> 00:09:48,743 * I tell her don't start, B, don't go at me * 259 00:09:48,777 --> 00:09:50,478 * Ain't never back down or ran from no beef * 260 00:09:50,511 --> 00:09:52,446 * Nigga, I'm the teacher, how the hell you gonna coach me? * 261 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,015 * Tell me what you'd do if I tossed you a ho piece * 262 00:09:54,048 --> 00:09:55,483 * Distract that bitch, we don't need no bouncer * 263 00:09:55,516 --> 00:09:57,585 * Walk in the club and stand on the couches * 264 00:09:57,618 --> 00:09:58,920 * You keep on dissing that fanny pack... * 265 00:09:58,953 --> 00:10:01,555 (gasps) I'm very drunk. 266 00:10:01,589 --> 00:10:04,292 -I got to move you to another section. -What? 267 00:10:04,325 --> 00:10:05,927 BOUNCER: I have to move you 268 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,461 -to another section. -Why? 269 00:10:07,495 --> 00:10:09,898 Lil Uzi's coming in. 270 00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:13,634 Okay, where? Where do you want us to go? 271 00:10:13,668 --> 00:10:15,269 All right. 272 00:10:15,303 --> 00:10:16,905 Nah, fuck that, bro. We ain't going nowhere, my nigga. 273 00:10:16,938 --> 00:10:18,272 We staying right here, bro. 274 00:10:18,306 --> 00:10:19,808 You supposed to be watching our back. 275 00:10:19,841 --> 00:10:21,275 Why you got to move us now when we got comped for bottles 276 00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:22,610 -and shit? -I ain't even want to talk, man. 277 00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:24,813 We either move now or I'll pick you up and move you. 278 00:10:24,846 --> 00:10:26,547 You ain't about to pick nobody up. 279 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:28,817 Where your fucking owner at? Where the manager at, bro? 280 00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:31,219 It don't matter where he's at. I'm doing my job. 281 00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:32,721 Don't be speaking to me like that, bro. What the fuck 282 00:10:32,754 --> 00:10:33,988 -you talking about? -I'll talk to him. It's okay, 283 00:10:34,022 --> 00:10:35,623 it's okay, it's okay. Dude, calm down. Relax. 284 00:10:35,656 --> 00:10:37,491 I can't relax. Just like you said, 285 00:10:37,525 --> 00:10:39,093 -I'm having fun... -Uh-- All right, 286 00:10:39,127 --> 00:10:40,829 well, this is a business trip. You represent me. 287 00:10:40,862 --> 00:10:42,163 All my friends would love the way I represent. 288 00:10:42,196 --> 00:10:43,798 Nigga, I go hard for my homies. 289 00:10:43,832 --> 00:10:45,734 Are you gonna let him bully us up out of this section? 290 00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,736 -It's not that big of a deal. -It's that big to me, my nigga. 291 00:10:47,769 --> 00:10:49,971 We in Philly. Nigga, this is your first show. 292 00:10:50,004 --> 00:10:51,605 -We in the club, popping bottles, bitches... -DAVE: All right! All right. 293 00:10:51,639 --> 00:10:52,841 -GATA: What the fuck, bro? -DAVE: Relax. Relax. 294 00:10:52,874 --> 00:10:54,275 Bro, anybody else would appreciate 295 00:10:54,308 --> 00:10:55,476 that I'm going this hard for them. 296 00:10:55,509 --> 00:10:56,677 You acting like a pussy. 297 00:10:58,980 --> 00:11:01,249 All right, we got to go to a different section. 298 00:11:01,282 --> 00:11:03,651 -Gata's super hood, huh? -Yeah. 299 00:11:03,684 --> 00:11:05,186 You're fucking white, huh? 300 00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,388 -What? -Yeah, I'll see you in a second. 301 00:11:07,421 --> 00:11:08,656 -Okay? -Cool. 302 00:11:11,059 --> 00:11:12,660 (chuckles): I got the Wi-Fi password. 303 00:11:12,693 --> 00:11:14,428 I could care less. I really have to leave. 304 00:11:14,462 --> 00:11:16,097 I'm so sorry, this is the worst place on Earth. 305 00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,732 Wait, where are they going? Where's everyone going? 306 00:11:17,766 --> 00:11:19,100 -I don't know. -Hey, guy, where are you going? 307 00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,502 Great. 308 00:11:21,535 --> 00:11:23,704 Do you guys have outlets? Do you have plugs? 309 00:11:23,738 --> 00:11:25,673 * Smokin' dope and you know... * 310 00:11:25,706 --> 00:11:27,876 I'm telling you, you've never seen it. 311 00:11:27,909 --> 00:11:29,610 You've never seen a horse fuck another thing, 312 00:11:29,643 --> 00:11:30,812 like a man? 313 00:11:30,845 --> 00:11:32,146 (exhales): Ah... 314 00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:35,216 (shouts, coughs) 315 00:11:35,249 --> 00:11:37,718 Yo, you remember when you told me to put peanut butter 316 00:11:37,752 --> 00:11:40,021 all over Horowitz's bed, and I did it 317 00:11:40,054 --> 00:11:42,791 not knowing he was allergic and he almost fucking died? 318 00:11:42,824 --> 00:11:44,793 It was so cool, though. 319 00:11:44,826 --> 00:11:47,561 Man, my fault, Horowitz. I didn't mean to do it like that. 320 00:11:47,595 --> 00:11:49,330 I forgot how funny you are, bro. 321 00:11:49,363 --> 00:11:51,532 -Why would you do that? -I didn't mean to. 322 00:11:51,565 --> 00:11:52,967 No reason to do that. 323 00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:55,369 -You are a fucking legend. -Oh! 324 00:11:55,403 --> 00:11:57,906 -Just say it again in my ear. -Fucking legend. 325 00:11:57,939 --> 00:11:59,740 -I know. I know. -TUNA: Yo. Yo. 326 00:11:59,774 --> 00:12:02,210 You should do a Burd Bomb. 327 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,744 -Oh, yes. -Dude, you've got to. 328 00:12:03,778 --> 00:12:06,380 -You got to. You got to do it, Burd. -Dude. Come on! 329 00:12:06,414 --> 00:12:08,549 -Been 15 years. -In here, though? 330 00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:10,384 -Yes! -Right here! 331 00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:13,354 -Burd Bomb, dude. Burd Bomb. -I think so, man. 15 years. You owe us. 332 00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:15,456 -Okay. -JOSH: You own this place. 333 00:12:15,489 --> 00:12:17,926 Let me get my footing. 334 00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:20,061 -You still got it. -Okay! Let me look around 335 00:12:20,094 --> 00:12:22,596 and see what's going on in the club. Let me evaluate. 336 00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:24,398 -Scout everything... -Okay, come on, man. 337 00:12:24,432 --> 00:12:26,234 -Burd Bomb! -Well, fuck, all right. 338 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,036 You cool, man? You good? 339 00:12:28,069 --> 00:12:29,237 -Yeah. -Yeah! 340 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,672 -Here he goes! -Yeah. 341 00:12:31,705 --> 00:12:34,208 All right. Fuck it. 342 00:12:34,242 --> 00:12:35,776 It's all you, man. All you, baby. 343 00:12:35,810 --> 00:12:38,279 -All right. Three... -GROUP: Two... 344 00:12:38,312 --> 00:12:39,480 One... 345 00:12:42,316 --> 00:12:44,618 -(shouting, excited chatter) -He's pissing... 346 00:12:44,652 --> 00:12:46,855 (cheering) 347 00:12:46,888 --> 00:12:50,324 -JOSH: He's actually pissing. -JAKE: Yes. 348 00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:52,460 -Yeah! -(cheering, laughter) 349 00:12:52,493 --> 00:12:54,228 You... 350 00:12:54,262 --> 00:12:56,730 You guys want me to come? I'll do it. 351 00:12:56,764 --> 00:12:58,732 -That's okay. -I'm sending this to everyone, dude. 352 00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,569 -Fuck a bathroom. -Man, you chilling, bro? 353 00:13:01,602 --> 00:13:04,906 -My man. -(laughter) 354 00:13:04,939 --> 00:13:06,975 (coughs) 355 00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:09,010 (snoring) 356 00:13:11,612 --> 00:13:12,813 (grunts) 357 00:13:15,516 --> 00:13:17,518 (panting) 358 00:13:26,194 --> 00:13:28,196 (moans softly) 359 00:13:34,202 --> 00:13:36,237 MIKE: Gata, this is an $1,800 bill, man. 360 00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:38,006 You better call your guy. 361 00:13:38,039 --> 00:13:41,342 I never said the bottles was free. I said the table was free. 362 00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:42,776 Well, you can't mention that after the fact, dude. 363 00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:44,178 That's so shady. 364 00:13:44,212 --> 00:13:45,947 You said the situation was taken care of. 365 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:48,983 What do, what do you think that means? 366 00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:50,985 Uh... 367 00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:53,387 -What the fuck? -(laughs softly) 368 00:13:53,421 --> 00:13:56,157 If it isn't the guy who pees on himself. 369 00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:59,427 Oh, I pissed myself at the club. 370 00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:00,962 Oh, my God, I'm still wearing the same underwear. 371 00:14:00,995 --> 00:14:03,364 That's fucking epic. 372 00:14:03,397 --> 00:14:05,133 Do you have video of it? 373 00:14:05,166 --> 00:14:07,235 Nah, dude, I left. I had to get away from all those people. 374 00:14:07,268 --> 00:14:10,004 -You left? Why? -Why? 375 00:14:10,038 --> 00:14:11,906 Bro, I couldn't be around those dudes for another second. 376 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:13,341 They're such assholes. 377 00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,043 -Who was an asshole to you? -To me, no one. 378 00:14:15,076 --> 00:14:17,378 But to you, every single person 379 00:14:17,411 --> 00:14:18,980 that we went to fucking camp with. 380 00:14:19,013 --> 00:14:20,881 Bro, I'm dead serious. 381 00:14:20,915 --> 00:14:22,583 You think I'm joking? 382 00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:24,152 Think about everything that we've ever done 383 00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:25,153 and been through. 384 00:14:25,186 --> 00:14:26,887 They never fucked with you. 385 00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:30,658 I think you're, like, really misremembering, like, childhood, 386 00:14:30,691 --> 00:14:31,859 to be quite frank. 387 00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:33,861 They literally idolized me. 388 00:14:33,894 --> 00:14:37,298 -They idolized you? -Idolized me, yeah. 389 00:14:37,331 --> 00:14:39,567 I'm, like, the most legendary camper at that camp. 390 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,235 You realize last night at the club, they made you 391 00:14:41,269 --> 00:14:43,371 pee your pants for their own personal amusement. 392 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,673 They use you like a Jackass human, bro. 393 00:14:45,706 --> 00:14:48,209 You're like Steve-O, but in this shitty form 394 00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:49,910 with no cool tattoos. 395 00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:53,347 I love Steve-O. 396 00:14:53,381 --> 00:14:55,216 Dawg, and the talent show? 397 00:14:55,249 --> 00:14:57,885 You act like that's, like, the root of your fucking stardom. 398 00:14:57,918 --> 00:15:00,254 No, it's not. They were making fun of you. 399 00:15:00,288 --> 00:15:03,924 You weren't funny, you were funny. You get it? 400 00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:06,860 Uh, okay. I don't need a lec-- 401 00:15:06,894 --> 00:15:08,062 Like, what are you even talking about? 402 00:15:08,096 --> 00:15:09,463 DON: Hey. Morning. 403 00:15:09,497 --> 00:15:10,798 -Wow, Big Don. -Hey. Hey. 404 00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:12,433 You always look like a million bucks when I see you. 405 00:15:12,466 --> 00:15:13,801 -Thank you. -Of course. 406 00:15:13,834 --> 00:15:15,036 Big day. 407 00:15:15,069 --> 00:15:16,704 -Hey. -Big day. Yeah. 408 00:15:16,737 --> 00:15:17,938 CAROL: Don? 409 00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:19,240 -Uh-huh? -What the hell are you wearing? 410 00:15:19,273 --> 00:15:21,742 You're not, you're not wearing that to the concert. 411 00:15:21,775 --> 00:15:25,913 Well, it's not just any concert, I'm the father of the rapper. 412 00:15:25,946 --> 00:15:27,448 CAROL (fading): I've laid out some clothes for you. 413 00:15:27,481 --> 00:15:28,749 DON: You laid out what? 414 00:15:28,782 --> 00:15:29,883 CAROL: I put clothes out on the bed 415 00:15:29,917 --> 00:15:30,951 that I thought would be... 416 00:15:30,985 --> 00:15:32,620 There's no way. 417 00:15:32,653 --> 00:15:34,155 Yeah, it's true. 418 00:15:34,188 --> 00:15:36,557 Your cousin did not get fingered by bin Laden. 419 00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:39,227 -Yes, she did. -Isn't he, like, six-five? 420 00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:43,064 -So? -Yeah, whatever. 421 00:15:43,097 --> 00:15:45,866 JAKE: Hey, Burd, Kari's coming. 422 00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:48,902 Do a Burd Bomb. Tell her how much you love her. 423 00:15:48,936 --> 00:15:50,871 -For Kari? -JOSH: What, you think 424 00:15:50,904 --> 00:15:52,240 she's gonna like you because you're hot? 425 00:15:52,273 --> 00:15:53,574 (laughter) 426 00:15:53,607 --> 00:15:56,610 Yeah, okay, um, uh, where are the eggs? 427 00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,918 (laughter, indistinct chatter) 428 00:16:05,953 --> 00:16:07,055 Hey, Dave. 429 00:16:10,524 --> 00:16:11,559 Are you okay? 430 00:16:11,592 --> 00:16:13,261 (screams) 431 00:16:13,294 --> 00:16:14,628 (gasps) 432 00:16:14,662 --> 00:16:17,465 (laughter) 433 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:19,500 Ooh... 434 00:16:28,242 --> 00:16:30,311 All right, Dicky, you got your, uh, 435 00:16:30,344 --> 00:16:31,712 rider laid out right here for you. 436 00:16:31,745 --> 00:16:34,348 Wow. Oh, lo mein. 437 00:16:34,382 --> 00:16:35,783 Cool. 438 00:16:35,816 --> 00:16:37,985 Why do you have Lunchables on your rider? 439 00:16:38,018 --> 00:16:39,420 Why wouldn't I have Lunchables on my rider? 440 00:16:39,453 --> 00:16:41,055 He-he always loved those. (chuckles) 441 00:16:41,089 --> 00:16:42,290 Great. 442 00:16:42,323 --> 00:16:44,292 Oh, w-wow. They got tuna fish. 443 00:16:44,325 --> 00:16:47,395 -DAVE: Yeah. -But, oh, but there's no can opener. 444 00:16:47,428 --> 00:16:49,863 Hey-hey, Mike, if-if you ask for something like tuna fish, 445 00:16:49,897 --> 00:16:52,133 do you have to put something like a can opener 446 00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:53,767 on the rider, as well? Because, 447 00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:55,903 otherwise, how is he gonna open the tuna fish? 448 00:16:55,936 --> 00:16:58,172 Yeah, and, uh, I hate to say this out loud-- 449 00:16:58,206 --> 00:16:59,840 I'm a little embarrassed-- but we're not at a level 450 00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:02,410 where we would get that kind of accommodation. 451 00:17:02,443 --> 00:17:05,313 The big dogs, they get a tuna guy. We're just not there yet. 452 00:17:05,346 --> 00:17:07,014 Well, I don't know. I-I don't think it's asking 453 00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:08,649 -too much, really. -What the hell are you guys talking about? 454 00:17:08,682 --> 00:17:11,152 -Tuna. -There's no can opener for the tuna. 455 00:17:11,185 --> 00:17:13,121 -Well, shit, there should be. -MIKE: We could do what we do 456 00:17:13,154 --> 00:17:15,223 at home, which is throw it against the wall until one pops. 457 00:17:15,256 --> 00:17:17,625 Nah, I don't want to trash the room. 458 00:17:17,658 --> 00:17:19,660 You guys got catering out the door to the right, 459 00:17:19,693 --> 00:17:21,395 and you have the meet and greet in half an hour. 460 00:17:21,429 --> 00:17:23,030 -You good? -Meet and greet. Okay, 461 00:17:23,063 --> 00:17:25,032 I've never done one of those, but should be easy. 462 00:17:25,065 --> 00:17:28,569 Hey, you want me to bring any sluts back here? 463 00:17:28,602 --> 00:17:30,571 -You know? -N-No. 464 00:17:30,604 --> 00:17:32,273 (scoffs) All good. 465 00:17:32,306 --> 00:17:33,774 All right, holler if you need me. 466 00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:35,042 -Thanks, man. -DON: Thank you, sir. 467 00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:36,744 I think we're here really early. 468 00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:38,112 -Don't steal them. -(stammers) 469 00:17:38,146 --> 00:17:40,748 I'm not steal-- They're here for us to take. 470 00:17:40,781 --> 00:17:42,283 -To eat here. -I'm gonna run out 471 00:17:42,316 --> 00:17:45,119 to the car and get my thank you notes and Dave's gift. 472 00:17:45,153 --> 00:17:48,456 -I'll be back. -Oh, right, right. Yeah, all right. 473 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,226 So, Elliot, 474 00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:56,029 what made you move out to L.A.? 475 00:17:56,063 --> 00:17:58,232 I mean, what's the story there? 476 00:17:58,266 --> 00:18:01,435 Well, you know me, born and raised in West Philadelphia. 477 00:18:01,469 --> 00:18:03,937 -Sure. -Spent most of my days on the playground, 478 00:18:03,971 --> 00:18:08,075 you know, chilling, relaxing, cool, 479 00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:10,378 shooting basketball after school. 480 00:18:10,411 --> 00:18:12,446 You boys love basketball. 481 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,082 But then a couple of guys who were up to no good 482 00:18:15,115 --> 00:18:17,918 started making trouble all in my neighborhood and stuff. 483 00:18:17,951 --> 00:18:21,322 I got in one little eensy-weensy fight and my mom got all scared, 484 00:18:21,355 --> 00:18:25,593 so she moved me out to L.A. with my uncle in Bel Air. 485 00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:28,229 Oh, I thought you lived in West Hollywood? 486 00:18:28,262 --> 00:18:29,763 (Dave hacking) 487 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:34,768 (cheering, applause) 488 00:18:35,803 --> 00:18:37,605 Hey. 489 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,874 How you guys doing? All right, I'm here to meet and greet. 490 00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:42,543 -Get in here. Yeah. -Uh, oh, oh, okay. 491 00:18:42,576 --> 00:18:44,778 -Give me a hug. How you doing? -Okay. 492 00:18:44,812 --> 00:18:47,248 -Uh, uh, can-can you sign my cast? -Oh, yeah. 493 00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:49,583 I have a Sharpie, actually, for this very thing. 494 00:18:49,617 --> 00:18:50,984 Hmm. My signature. 495 00:18:51,018 --> 00:18:53,854 I haven't even figured out my sig yet. 496 00:18:53,887 --> 00:18:55,289 Let me just... 497 00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,924 You know what? 498 00:18:56,957 --> 00:18:58,759 I'm gonna "Command-Z" this and start over. 499 00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:00,428 That's actually my sister. She loves you, man. 500 00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:02,062 -Okay, cool. -Yeah, if you, like, 501 00:19:02,095 --> 00:19:03,631 brought her back to your trailer, 502 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,933 you could do whatever you want to her probably. 503 00:19:05,966 --> 00:19:07,268 -(chuckles) -That's the weirdest... 504 00:19:07,301 --> 00:19:09,337 T-There's, uh, no need to even... 505 00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:11,672 -Hey, bro. How are you? -Nice to meet you. Good. 506 00:19:11,705 --> 00:19:13,874 -All right. Yeah? -No lie, I've killed to your shit, bro. 507 00:19:13,907 --> 00:19:17,144 -What did you say? -I've killed to your shit. 508 00:19:17,177 --> 00:19:19,580 What-what the fuck does that mean? You've killed to my shit? 509 00:19:19,613 --> 00:19:21,515 I'm a sniper in Afghanistan. 510 00:19:21,549 --> 00:19:23,651 -Hey. Hi. -Why are you guys in this line? 511 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,853 -What the hell are you doing? -Well, we've met Dave, 512 00:19:25,886 --> 00:19:28,489 -but we haven't met Lil Dicky. -Here. 513 00:19:28,522 --> 00:19:30,524 What is this? You brought me a plant? Why? 514 00:19:30,558 --> 00:19:33,160 -It's for good luck. -It doesn't flower. -Okay. 515 00:19:33,193 --> 00:19:34,428 Uh, 2-5-6, uh... 516 00:19:34,462 --> 00:19:35,863 -What are you-- I don't... -3-5, uh... 517 00:19:35,896 --> 00:19:37,130 -9... -Your cell phone number? 518 00:19:37,164 --> 00:19:39,166 -Y-Yeah. -Oh, that's of no use to me. 519 00:19:39,199 --> 00:19:40,934 I'm not gonna 520 00:19:40,968 --> 00:19:43,170 -reach out and... -Yeah... 521 00:19:43,203 --> 00:19:44,305 -Hey, not to be creepy... -Yeah? 522 00:19:44,338 --> 00:19:46,006 But I think my girlfriend 523 00:19:46,039 --> 00:19:47,875 would like it if you'd sign my dick. Can you do that? 524 00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:50,110 -What the fuck? -Will you sign my dick? Like draw even, like, 525 00:19:50,143 --> 00:19:51,912 -a dick on my dick. -Definitely not. Dude, there are so many... 526 00:19:51,945 --> 00:19:53,581 What are you doing? Pull your fucking pants up. 527 00:19:53,614 --> 00:19:55,316 -What the hell is wrong with you? -Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 528 00:19:55,349 --> 00:19:57,318 Definitely not gonna sign your dick right now. No way. 529 00:19:57,351 --> 00:19:58,986 Oh. After? 530 00:19:59,019 --> 00:20:01,188 If you want to stick around after, meet me in, like, 531 00:20:01,221 --> 00:20:03,491 -where the parking lot area is, uh, yeah... -That'd be awesome. 532 00:20:03,524 --> 00:20:05,058 Oh, do the-- do this, with the-the... 533 00:20:05,092 --> 00:20:07,060 -Mom, really? It's a small penis. -Yeah. 534 00:20:07,094 --> 00:20:09,330 -Oh, is that what it is? -No. No. 535 00:20:09,363 --> 00:20:10,698 I'm a day one Dickhead. 536 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,866 I'm talking the "Banana Cream Pudding" era. 537 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:15,168 Oh, my God, you like that song? That song sucks. 538 00:20:15,202 --> 00:20:17,438 Really? It's just like all your shit to me, man. 539 00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:18,872 It's just funny. 540 00:20:26,447 --> 00:20:28,248 -Yo, Mike. -Yo. 541 00:20:28,282 --> 00:20:30,318 -What is this tweet? -What? 542 00:20:30,351 --> 00:20:32,085 "Hitting the stage soon, gonna get litty"? 543 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,555 -(chuckles) Yeah, cool. Is that cool? -No. 544 00:20:34,588 --> 00:20:35,723 It's, like, why would you take the liberty 545 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,358 to tweet before my first concert ever? 546 00:20:37,391 --> 00:20:39,427 I had an entire thing planned. You just ruined it. 547 00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:40,894 Well, you'd said we can't let social go dark. 548 00:20:40,928 --> 00:20:42,430 I totally agree with that. 549 00:20:42,463 --> 00:20:44,398 I would have loved to have had the opportunity 550 00:20:44,432 --> 00:20:46,800 to tweet about my concert myself. 551 00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:49,437 It's my first concert. Like, I need to do these things myself. 552 00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:50,871 -Okay. -And, like, you clearly 553 00:20:50,904 --> 00:20:52,440 don't even have a grasp of my social voice. 554 00:20:52,473 --> 00:20:54,007 I would never say anything like that. 555 00:20:54,041 --> 00:20:55,776 I mean, I-- I don't know, I mean, we do say 556 00:20:55,809 --> 00:20:57,210 some of the same stuff sometimes, you know? 557 00:20:57,244 --> 00:20:58,712 Like, I-- Well-well, you say "litty." 558 00:20:58,746 --> 00:20:59,913 No, I never say "litty." 559 00:20:59,947 --> 00:21:01,549 -Okay. I... -And if you ever 560 00:21:01,582 --> 00:21:03,851 want to do something like that, just check in with me. 561 00:21:03,884 --> 00:21:05,052 -Just be more communicative. Like... -Okay. 562 00:21:05,085 --> 00:21:07,054 -Yeah, I had a whole plan. -Okay. 563 00:21:07,087 --> 00:21:08,589 I will ask permission. 564 00:21:08,622 --> 00:21:09,623 -Okay, thank you. -Okay. 565 00:21:09,657 --> 00:21:11,124 What is the attitude about? 566 00:21:11,158 --> 00:21:13,827 I don't ha-- Dave, I don't have an attitude. 567 00:21:13,861 --> 00:21:15,463 You're really hot right now, so... 568 00:21:15,496 --> 00:21:17,598 -Where are my parents? -I don't know where your mom is, 569 00:21:17,631 --> 00:21:19,967 but your dad is roaming the building looking for cake. 570 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,969 -Okay... -Yo, ho, ho! 571 00:21:22,002 --> 00:21:24,472 -Yo, what up, Burd? -What's up, dude? 572 00:21:24,505 --> 00:21:26,407 -This is awesome. -What's up? 573 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,576 -Man, look at this spread. -What's up, guys? 574 00:21:28,609 --> 00:21:29,810 TUNA: What? (laughs) 575 00:21:29,843 --> 00:21:31,011 Hey, man. What's going on? Mm. 576 00:21:31,044 --> 00:21:32,713 -Yeah, looks good. -What's up? Fresh. 577 00:21:32,746 --> 00:21:34,415 -Man, thank you. -Oof. 578 00:21:34,448 --> 00:21:36,283 What up, Elliot? You too big-time to say hi to us now? 579 00:21:36,316 --> 00:21:38,919 Pretty much. 580 00:21:38,952 --> 00:21:40,988 -(stifled laugh) My man. -TUNA: Yo. 581 00:21:41,021 --> 00:21:43,757 Rob's down at will call, says his name's not on the list. 582 00:21:43,791 --> 00:21:45,859 -Really? Mike. Mike. -Yeah. 583 00:21:45,893 --> 00:21:48,128 -Yeah. -Rob? 584 00:21:48,161 --> 00:21:49,663 His name's not on the list or something? 585 00:21:49,697 --> 00:21:51,298 -He's at will call. -Yeah, he's not on. 586 00:21:51,331 --> 00:21:53,601 -His name's not on the list? Okay. -DAVE: No. 587 00:21:53,634 --> 00:21:55,836 So, can you go deal with that? Grab him? 588 00:21:55,869 --> 00:21:57,838 I don't know, it's probably faster, just go grab him. 589 00:21:57,871 --> 00:21:59,373 -You want me to go get him in? -Yeah, well, yeah. Of course. 590 00:21:59,407 --> 00:22:01,274 -Like... -Dave, I have, like, a million things to do 591 00:22:01,308 --> 00:22:03,310 -before the show. I haven't eaten in, like, a day. -It's like, I wouldn't 592 00:22:03,343 --> 00:22:05,312 ask you to do this if it was already, like, properly handled. 593 00:22:05,345 --> 00:22:07,681 -It's part of the job. Can you just...? -Okay. I'll-I'll go get him. 594 00:22:07,715 --> 00:22:09,049 -TUNA: Thanks, man. -Yeah, no doubt, dude. 595 00:22:09,082 --> 00:22:11,519 Hey, uh, you guys got any Stella here? 596 00:22:11,552 --> 00:22:13,220 I don't know, man. 597 00:22:13,253 --> 00:22:15,022 Like, whatever you see is what we have. 598 00:22:15,055 --> 00:22:16,624 Well, can you get some? 599 00:22:16,657 --> 00:22:18,058 JOSH: Dude, it's his show. 600 00:22:18,091 --> 00:22:20,260 He can get us whatever we want. Come on, Dave. 601 00:22:20,293 --> 00:22:21,662 You can whatever we want. Are you kidding me? 602 00:22:21,695 --> 00:22:23,096 -Look at this. -ELZ: Yeah, 603 00:22:23,130 --> 00:22:24,364 Dave will do whatever you want. 604 00:22:24,398 --> 00:22:27,367 (overlapping chatter) 605 00:22:27,401 --> 00:22:29,770 Okay, I need everybody to just leave the room right now. 606 00:22:29,803 --> 00:22:31,772 Everybody leave. 607 00:22:31,805 --> 00:22:33,441 -Really? -Us? -Yeah, I need you guys to leave. 608 00:22:33,474 --> 00:22:34,675 Yeah, I'm sorry. I need sp-- You came too late. 609 00:22:34,708 --> 00:22:36,944 I need space. Everyone, please just go. Please go. 610 00:22:36,977 --> 00:22:38,512 All right... Y-You know what, absolutely. That's right. 611 00:22:38,546 --> 00:22:40,113 You guys-- E-Everyone, get out. You guys got to get out. 612 00:22:40,147 --> 00:22:41,381 -Let's go. -I need you to go. You came too late. 613 00:22:41,415 --> 00:22:42,816 -Like, it's too much. -JAKE: Okay, we'll handle... 614 00:22:42,850 --> 00:22:44,485 -Please, yeah. -Well, hey, can I still get some Stella? 615 00:22:44,518 --> 00:22:45,553 Yeah, I don't know, man. 616 00:22:45,586 --> 00:22:46,954 What the fuck kind of question is that? 617 00:22:46,987 --> 00:22:48,188 I was just... 618 00:22:49,423 --> 00:22:50,524 MIKE: Guys, uh, everyone's out. 619 00:22:50,558 --> 00:22:51,592 Let's go. 620 00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:53,226 JAKE: Can I take the snacks with me? 621 00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:55,863 Hey. Thank you. 622 00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:59,132 Yeah, I-I do need you guys to go, too, though. 623 00:22:59,166 --> 00:23:02,736 I just, like, need a minute to myself. 624 00:23:09,843 --> 00:23:11,845 (sighs) 625 00:23:15,048 --> 00:23:17,685 (door closes) 626 00:23:17,718 --> 00:23:22,255 * The sun will explode and engulf the whole globe * 627 00:23:22,289 --> 00:23:24,892 * We won't even feel it * 628 00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:28,428 * Burn us. * 629 00:23:30,430 --> 00:23:31,932 (applause) 630 00:23:31,965 --> 00:23:34,034 HOST: Okay. 631 00:23:34,067 --> 00:23:36,770 Thank you everybody who participated. (chuckles) 632 00:23:36,804 --> 00:23:39,707 (chanting): We want Burd! We want Burd! 633 00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:42,843 We want Burd! We want Burd! 634 00:23:42,876 --> 00:23:46,279 We want Burd! We want Burd! We want Burd! 635 00:23:46,313 --> 00:23:48,549 HOST: All right, well, 636 00:23:48,582 --> 00:23:51,051 whoever this Burd is, come on up! 637 00:23:51,084 --> 00:23:54,688 We want Burd! We want Burd! We want Burd! 638 00:23:54,722 --> 00:23:56,423 -Burd is such an idiot. -He looks so stupid. 639 00:23:56,456 --> 00:23:59,292 -Burd. -(cheering, applause) 640 00:24:04,331 --> 00:24:05,499 (sighs) 641 00:24:05,533 --> 00:24:07,568 (sighing) 642 00:24:13,106 --> 00:24:15,142 Hey. You got this. 643 00:24:15,175 --> 00:24:16,610 This is what we do. 644 00:24:17,645 --> 00:24:19,212 You seem stressed. 645 00:24:19,246 --> 00:24:21,248 Let me take your mind off things. 646 00:24:40,868 --> 00:24:42,469 Nothing? 647 00:24:42,502 --> 00:24:46,406 Well, lucky for you, you're just in time for the 8:15 fart. 648 00:24:46,439 --> 00:24:49,810 All aboard! (strains, farts) 649 00:24:49,843 --> 00:24:51,011 (inhales sharply) 650 00:24:51,044 --> 00:24:52,980 Geez, tough crowd. 651 00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:55,482 Playing hardball tonight, I see. 652 00:24:55,515 --> 00:24:58,619 Well, how about this? 653 00:25:03,390 --> 00:25:04,825 (exhales) 654 00:25:07,194 --> 00:25:09,129 That was amazing. 655 00:25:09,162 --> 00:25:10,698 -You liked it? -Liked it? I loved it. 656 00:25:10,731 --> 00:25:13,767 You put your head in a vat of lo mein. I was so stressed 657 00:25:13,801 --> 00:25:14,968 before you showed up. 658 00:25:15,002 --> 00:25:16,737 I forgot you're the funniest kid on the planet. 659 00:25:16,770 --> 00:25:18,606 Would you do it one more time for me, 660 00:25:18,639 --> 00:25:21,308 just to get my mind off things? 661 00:25:21,341 --> 00:25:23,110 Yeah. 662 00:25:23,143 --> 00:25:25,145 (muffled whimpering) 663 00:25:50,203 --> 00:25:52,205 * 664 00:26:03,116 --> 00:26:05,285 (phone chimes) 665 00:26:06,386 --> 00:26:08,388 (sighs) 666 00:26:22,736 --> 00:26:24,738 (cheering, applause) 667 00:26:27,174 --> 00:26:29,609 * 668 00:26:32,612 --> 00:26:35,248 Hey. Kill it. 669 00:26:37,818 --> 00:26:39,619 (cheering, applause) 670 00:26:47,127 --> 00:26:49,129 * 671 00:28:04,404 --> 00:28:07,307 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 672 00:28:07,875 --> 00:28:09,209 -* Hi, I'm Dave * -* Hello, Dave * 673 00:28:09,242 --> 00:28:10,778 -* Hi, I'm Dave * -* Who is Dave? * 674 00:28:10,811 --> 00:28:12,279 * Hi, I'm Dave * 675 00:28:15,382 --> 00:28:16,884 * I am Dave * 676 00:28:18,919 --> 00:28:20,220 -Mom. -Yes? 677 00:28:20,253 --> 00:28:22,655 -Okay. I want a big party this year. -Serious? 678 00:28:22,689 --> 00:28:24,892 -I want a quinceañera. -Quinceañera? 679 00:28:24,925 --> 00:28:28,328 We can't do that. We're too white for that. We're not allowed. 680 00:28:34,434 --> 00:28:37,070 -(shouting) -(screaming) 681 00:28:38,071 --> 00:28:40,407 What the hell is going on out here? 682 00:28:41,942 --> 00:28:43,143 Ta-da! 683 00:28:43,176 --> 00:28:45,745 -Whoo-hoo! -(splashes) 684 00:28:45,779 --> 00:28:48,681 -(roars) -You've got 20 seconds to decide-- arms or legs? 685 00:28:48,715 --> 00:28:50,383 Decide. Decide! 686 00:28:50,417 --> 00:28:52,552 -(drill whirring) -(screaming) 687 00:28:52,585 --> 00:28:55,722 We're just getting started. (grunting) 688 00:28:55,755 --> 00:28:59,059 -(shrieks) -(farting, grunts) 689 00:28:59,092 --> 00:29:00,327 Ow. 690 00:29:06,766 --> 00:29:09,069 Pulling hair is wrong, mate. 691 00:29:09,102 --> 00:29:12,372 I mean, all violence is wrong, but at least punching's a sport. 692 00:29:12,405 --> 00:29:13,941 -Is it? -Yes, boxing. 693 00:29:13,974 --> 00:29:16,076 Boxing's in the Olympics. Hair pulling isn't. 694 00:29:17,277 --> 00:29:17,310 -It would be funny if it was. -It really would be. 695 00:29:28,288 --> 00:29:30,190 MAN: This is your station. 696 00:29:30,223 --> 00:29:33,293 But... what am I actually doing here? 697 00:29:33,326 --> 00:29:35,128 I'm not gonna tell you. 698 00:29:35,162 --> 00:29:37,630 Don't worry. You're gonna figure it out. 699 00:29:50,243 --> 00:29:52,645 Did you call the speaker of the house a four-letter word? 700 00:29:52,679 --> 00:29:54,047 -No. -Are you sure? 701 00:29:54,081 --> 00:29:56,649 Yes, I'm sure. "Ass" is a three-letter word.