(TECHNO MUSIC)
Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org
Best thing in life is taking what's not yours
and getting away with it,
and getting a good night's sleep.
Show time.
(MUFFLED SHOUTING) (METAL DOORS CLANGING)
(ROCK MUSIC)
Kiss my ass, Bishop.
(MUFFLED SPEECH)
You boys gonna miss me while I'm gone?
Kiss my ass, Bishop.
Potty mouth.
Don't forget to tell your wife I said hi, will ya?
Yeah, screw you Bishop.
He's gonna be back in a week.
Give your little brother a hug!
(THUNDER)
(POUND) (GRUNT)
Oh, why?
Making me drive out here.
Besides, you're up to no good.
Missed you too.
(GRUNTS)
Put your shit in the trunk.
DANNY: Sure thing, chauffeur.
Don't start, it's a long car ride.
It sure is.
How'd you get the limp?
Another inmate stabbed me in the hamstring.
I'm sure he had a good reason.
Meh.
Quit monkeying with your hair
and put your belt on, jackass.
You're starting to look like Dad.
Ha, just couldn't resist could you, Danny?
Well I saw your grays coming in.
Are you dying your hair?
You're dying your hair! (LAUGHS)
Shut up.
Okay.
All right, you know what, no.
When are you gonna grow up, Danny?
Aiming for late 40s, early 50s, Dad.
Dad, huh?
(PHASER BUZZ)
(SCREAMS)
Am I sounding like Dad now, huh?
Watch the road!
God.
Oh.
(SIGHS)
You visit Mom and Dad?
Yeah.
Did you put tulips on the grave?
Yeah. (MUMBLES)
Good.
Can we stop by the liquor store?
Whoo doggie, it just starts right up.
I hope to God that you're kidding.
I just got out, I just wanna drink.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, just fresh outta the joint,
let's go to the liq.
Tell you what, I'm gonna
lay some ground rules, butt hole.
Number one, no pool halls.
Number two, no women.
Don't be bringing any of your dirty little tarts
over to the house.
Number three, no booze.
Four, five and six, no cards.
No cards, no nothing.
(EXHALES LOUDLY) Good to be home.
Yeah, welcome back, Mr. Kotter.
(AMBIENT MUSIC)
Danny!
Danny, it's 11 a.m.
Get outta bed already.
(KNOCKS)
Come on, you can box the clown later.
I'm goin' to work.
(DANNY GROANS)
Cute.
Can you watch Lisa while I'm gone?
(DANNY SIGHS)
Danny.
Danny?
Danny!
Yes, god!
Good, when I get back you should look for a job.
Okay, Dad.
Smart ass.
And Danny, stay out of the pool halls.
Sure thing, Dad.
ARTHUR: Piece of shit.
(GROANS)
(EXHALES LOUDLY)
Morning.
Good morning.
I've taken the liberty of making us coffee.
French-press, if you would like some.
Yeah, sure.
No smoking in the house!
There's a porch outside where you can smoke.
Right.
Shouldn't you be in school?
It's Saturday, Danny.
Sorry, I'm still adjusting to society.
I know, Dad told me to keep an eye on you
while he was gone.
Hm, he did did he?
What else did he say?
Your mouth gets you into trouble.
That you usually have an excuse for everything.
How'd you get the limp?
Bookies took a hammer to my kneecap.
Is there anything to cook around here?
You don't know how to cook.
I know how to cook.
You want pancakes, I'll make some pancakes.
There aren't any eggs.
You want eggs and pancakes?
No, you need eggs to make pancakes, Danny.
Okay, is there any cereal to eat around here?
There's some Trix in the kitchen.
Fine, fake processed food to start my day.
How long were you in jail for?
Three glorious years.
What did you do wrong?
Well, I got caught.
What law did you break?
Well, I was like a modern-day Robin Hood.
Except I didn't give the money back to the poor people.
Danny, cut the crap.
Okay, okay, okay.
First, I hot-wired a red-hot muscle car.
Mm, then I took a gorgeous blonde as my hostage.
Got in a shoot-out with the cops.
Turns out that gorgeous blonde though?
She's an undercover cop.
Put a gun to my head, said, "Darling, you're going down."
Dad said you robbed a gas station
and left the gas hose in your gas tank
as you took off.
You sold your car and the police caught you on foot.
Well I like my story better.
Oh you remind me of your mother.
You knew my mother?
Oh, I knew your mother.
I knew her before your dad did.
What was she like?
Well, she was a tornado of beauty and hell.
She was certainly a life force.
She was pretty though, right?
Yeah, she was pretty.
She was a lot like you.
But do me a favor, don't tell your dad
we talked about your mother, okay?
Don't worry, I won't say anything.
(ANGELIC CHOIR SINGING)
Do you know about the secret Bishop talent?
No.
DANNY: Oh that's too bad.
Why is that?
DANNY: Oh, just for a few reasons.
What reasons?
Well, every adult should know
this rare and unique talent.
What's so unique about it?
DANNY: Oh, I don't know if you're ready.
It is very special.
How do I know if I'm ready?
Well, seven pancakes.
So, if I make seven pancakes, I'll know if I'm ready?
Bingo.
You're lucky I hid some eggs
in the back of the freezer.
Mm.
(SIZZLING)
(BELL DINGS) (ANGELIC CHOIR SINGS)
Seven pancakes.
So?
So, you wanna play poker?
No.
Of course not.
Most important thing to know about poker
is it's not gambling.
It's deception.
Who taught you all of this?
A special friend you might meet one day.
Well teach me!
Lisa, let me eat my pancakes first, please thank you.
Fine.
Now, if I have a flush and you have
a straight, who wins?
You.
Very good, and what is the highest hand?
Royal flush.
Also very good.
Speaking of royal, there is mail for you
from the Queen, whoever that is.
DANNY: When did it arrive?
Yesterday, it's in this stack.
QUEEN VOICEOVER: My dearest Daniel.
Oh, how I've missed you.
Welcome home.
Time flies by when you've got my boys
protecting you in prison, doesn't it?
I'm sure you're reading this letter
wondering why I sent it.
Well Daniel, you're too good at what you do
and I want you back.
I've been patiently waiting for you
to come home and play in my sandbox.
Not to mention, we've got unfinished business.
(LAUGHS) Oh, now be a good boy
and come visit me tonight.
Don't make me come find you, Daniel.
A lady never likes to wait.
You're truly mine, Alex.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
When does your dad get back?
Tonight.
Good.
You still wanna play poker?
No, you've learned enough for today.
I need to go, are you gonna be okay?
You must be joking.
Of course, we have HBO Go and I need to
get caught up with "Real Time with Bill Maher."
What the hell is HBO Go?
A network streaming platform, Danny.
Get with it.
Right, whatever.
Oh, and don't you don't tell your Dad any...
Relax, I won't say anything about poker.
How did you know I was...
Danny, I got it.
Right.
(MUFFLED SPEECH)
She's so nice.
I've talked to her before.
(MUFFLED SPEECH)
Come on, we can get you the best tuxedo.
You're gonna look amazing.
Okay, it's to the right.
ARTHUR: This is a (MUMBLES) outfit.
(LAUGHS) Come on.
(CLEARS THROAT) How 'bout this?
When you were my age, did you think
you would be where you are now?
No.
Why don't people just let other people be happy?
(CHUCKLING) What do you mean?
Louis's family has a sign in their front yard
that says, "One man, one woman."
What does it matter to them?
Well, do you want the simple answer
or the brutal answer?
Both.
Well, they have a self-centered, simplistic
ideology, they have a very crude view
that's black or white because it's
easier to differentiate.
Cognitively, they can't understand being gay
because they themselves aren't gay.
Therefore, being gay is different
resulting in that being wrong.
From an intellectual standpoint, they lack
the ability to understand that we live
in a colorful world, not a black or white one.
What's the brutal answer?
They're assholes.
I see, sounds about right.
I inherited a small plumbing business
from your grandfather.
I don't make a lot of money.
I enjoy working in this country,
and I cherish the diversity that I'm a part of.
If I can teach you anything, it'd be to do the same.
Sometimes Louis makes fun of Shawn
at the bus stop because he has two moms.
He says he won't be a real man because
he doesn't have a father to play sports with.
Did Shawn tell your teacher this?
No.
I think he's embarrassed.
Poor kid.
Well Louis is probably like that because
his father used to do the same thing
to Danny and I when we were your age.
I tell you what, next time Louis does that,
I want you to pick up a rock,
and smash it in his face.
You want me to assault him?
No, on second thought, I can't afford the insurance.
Just kick him in the balls.
Bishops stand up for what's right.
Always.
(DRUM BEAT)
(KNOCKING)
WOMAN: Come in.
Oh, Daniel, I've been expecting you.
Take a seat.
Do you have any pet fish, Daniel?
I avoided ownership after seeing "Free Willy."
WOMAN: I see.
My sister and I, we had many and always betta fish.
Are you familiar?
Yes, also known as Siamese fighting fish.
Ah, there's that flash of genius.
See me and my sister, we'd take the two males
and we'd put 'em in the bowl together
and watch 'em fight to the death.
We didn't have a TV growing up.
There can never be two bettas.
As a child, I never truly comprehended that
until (SIGHS) I killed my sister.
See, we were in love with the same girl.
It was an odd feeling when I realized
I was the betta.
And that's when I took over my entire
neighborhood, and then alternately the city.
(PHASER BUZZING)
It's always been my destiny to rule this city, Daniel.
Daniel, you're a good poker player.
But you never know when to quit.
And you're an even better con man
but you never wanna quit.
(LAUGHS) You owe me too much money, Daniel.
What am I gonna do with you?
Well, you could start by sending me
to bed without dinner.
Or you know what, you could even
pull down my pants and give me a spanking.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Your mouth is always getting you into trouble, Daniel.
However, your mouth isn't the problem, Daniel.
- Do you know what it is? - Danny!
My name is Danny, not Daniel.
Daniel, do you know what the problem is?
Enlighten me.
(GASPING)
(RUSTLING)
(KNOCKING) (MUMBLING)
Yes, Violet?
I'm going shopping.
And?
Plastic?
Visa's on the nightstand.
Visa?
I don't want the Visa.
Can I have a black card?
Come here.
Ah, ah, ah.
(GIGGLING) (BELL DINGS)
Love you.
Oh, I see you got the gift I got you.
I did.
When you gonna grow up, Daniel?
Stop acting like a child?
Finally mature, take responsibility
for your own life?
Quit with all the shenanigans?
You're very inspirational, Alex.
Your smart ass jokes are funny.
I'm not denying that.
See, you made me a lot of money
with all that charm.
Mm, time marches on, the days get long, Daniel.
And you still owe me a debt.
(CLEARS THROAT)
No?
So if you don't give me my fucking money in 72 hours,
I'm gonna take that little niece of yours
and I'm gonna put her in a barrel
of fucking acid and make you watch.
And I think you know who she reminds you of,
don't you?
How many days is that, Daniel?
- Three! - How many days?
Three!
One more time.
Three.
(GRUNTS)
Oh good boy, Daniel.
(RUSTLING) (BUZZING)
(GROANING) (POUNDING)
ARTHUR: That's enough reading for today.
Did you have a good day, or what?
Yep.
ARTHUR: Yeah?
Get some sleep, Sweetheart.
I'll see you in the morning.
But Dad, can I ask you something?
Of course. (SIGHS)
Any new girls?
Ha, Jesus.
Did we not just have this conversation yesterday?
No.
LISA: Why not?
I don't know.
Mom passed away a long time ago.
You need to put yourself out there.
Take some ownership and ask a girl out.
I'm working on it, Sweetheart.
LISA: Well, I'm not seeing results.
I can't believe we're having this conversation again.
Maybe you should try a dating website.
Little Jimmy Taylor's dad found a wife
on Christian Mingle.
Paul Taylor found a wife?
That's the word at the bus stop today.
Ah, shit.
I do need to get out there.
Look, thank you for the information.
Get some sleep, Sweetheart.
Don't forget to brush your teeth.
ARTHUR: Yes, I know, goodnight.
Goodnight.
OLD MAN: You're late.
DANNY: Sorry.
OLD MAN: How bad?
DANNY: Bad.
OLD MAN: How much do you need?
DANNY: 100 K.
OLD MAN: Jesus, Danny.
DANNY: You asked!
OLD MAN: Danny, Danny, Danny.
What am I gonna do with you?
DANNY: Well Merchant, Merchant, Merchant.
Daniel, don't mock me, you little smart ass.
Sorry, old habits die hard, you know.
Recite the rules, Daniel.
Merchant, I'm not 17 anymore.
The rules, Daniel.
Fine.
Rule number one, know the beginning before the ending.
Rule number two, there's no such thing
as gambling, only deception.
Rule number three, the true art of a con
is creating the illusion you're behind
when you're really ahead.
Number four, there's no such thing as bad luck,
only bad people.
Rule number five, I live for myself
and I answer to no one.
Five rules you executed all too well, I'm afraid.
You sound like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
When are you gonna grow up?
God.
You know, Daniel?
You shoulda been a prima donna.
But instead you were a prodigy.
I taught you everything you know.
I found you when you were just a bus boy
in that dumpy casino, going nowhere.
I taught you how to play poker.
I taught you how to con.
You were the greatest student I ever had.
I've never seen anybody with as much skill as you.
I know your family must have been hell, but.
And I may have been the only parent figure you ever had.
But it's time for you to give this up.
So what are you trying to say?
You need to pull off one more con.
One more big round at the poker table.
Settle this debt you have with Alex.
I'll front you the 100 K to pull it off.
- But... - But what?
Once you win, and you will win,
you'll leave and you stay gone from the city forever.
Arthur and Lisa don't need you.
You're only gonna get them hurt.
They can't afford to be put in danger anymore.
Those are the terms.
You watch over them while I'm gone?
Of course!
After all, Lisa is my granddaughter.
It's the least I can do.
You know, Alex is gonna come after you
if she finds out.
Relax.
I'm the merchant of the city.
(ELECTRIC ZAPPING)
I'll be fine.
So that's it.
That's it.
Danny.
(JAZZ-FUNK MUSIC)
Good luck.
(AMBIENT MUSIC)
(GROANING)
Fucked up, huh?
Get over here.
Fucking did this to yourself.
(MUFFLED SPEECH)
Get in there.
(POUNDING) (GROANING)
You hear that?
That's the sound of my bank account going down.
Not a pleasant sound, is it?
(GROANING) Get in there.
Excuse me, Sir.
Loaned you too much, too many times.
Excuse me, Sir.
What?
Henry's on the phone.
Oh, he is?
Yes.
And Danny Bishop just got outta jail.
Ah, the plot thickens.
What should we do with him?
What do we do to people who don't pay me?
Mississippi?
- (MUFFLED SCREAMING) - That's right.
(LAUGHING)
Mississippi.
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(POUNDING) (GRUNTING)
I thought you said you never wanted
to talk to me again.
I can hang up if you want.
I'm glad you called, just please, don't.
So I've been thinking.
Have you given thought to what I said?
Henry, I can change.
It just, it just takes time.
How long as it been, two years?
Where were you just now?
Just here at the club, making a drink.
HENRY: You're lying.
I can always tell when you're lying.
That's because you love me.
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
HENRY: loan shark.
Does that mean you're coming back?
I don't know.
I need more time.
I have to go.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Tell me, is there someone else?
HENRY: No.
Promise.
I'm gonna hang up now.
Don't get mad and throw the phone
across the room, okay?
I won't, I'm a changed man.
Goodbye.
(PHONE CLICKS)
(SIGHS)
(YELLS)
(FLUTE MUSIC)
(DOOR THUDS)
Bishop is here.
Of course he is.
I sense a disturbance in the force.
I'm sorry, Sir, I don't follow.
It's a "Stars Wars" reference.
Sorry, Sir, I've never seen "Star Wars."
Never mind, just give me a few minutes
and send him in.
Yes, Sir.
You hear this?
The music?
Yes.
Yes, I can hear the music.
Jazz music's my favorite.
With jazz music you can wake up
with a hangover and still enjoy the day.
You know what else I like about jazz?
The tone?
I never know how it's going to start,
but I do know how it's going to end.
However, with you, Daniel Bishop, I never
know when it starts, but I do know how it's going to end.
Bad.
Danny, my name is Danny, not Daniel.
You only live once, Danny.
Yes, well listen, Jazz Boss, I pulled off
a very big con for you in the past,
and I'd like to think I've developed
a very good line of credit with you.
Yes, a quarter of a million dollars
made off of a real estate con.
Perhaps you've had too much success, Daniel.
People put their money down on you
and you crumble under the pressure.
You ran away, (MUMBLES) to prison.
I know you wanted to get caught.
Took the easy way out.
Yep, well as much as I enjoy your
rousing pep talk, Tony Robbins,
if you're not going to help me
then I will find someone who will.
I'm a loan shark, Danny, not a bad guy.
Ah, she gave you the betta fish speech, didn't she?
Yes, she did.
Jesus, Danny, she'll destroy your entire family tree.
I'm well aware.
There's only one thing that God and the devil
have in common.
They fear Alex.
Yes, I know.
So, who else have you gone to?
The usual.
I heard you went to the Merchant.
How much did he give you?
Hm, not enough.
How the hell did you know that anyway?
Word travels fast in the city, Danny.
How much do you need?
100.
Hm, I'll front you the money, with interest.
Thank you.
A very large interest, Danny.
I wasn't expecting anything less.
Under one condition.
Yes?
I wanna dance with your fine ass.
(CHUCKLES)
What, no.
Look, I'm not twerking on you, or grinding on you,
or whatever the hell they call it nowadays.
JAZZ BOSS: Oh shut up, I just want a normal slow dance.
One dance?
JAZZ BOSS: One dance.
And then I get my money?
JAZZ BOSS: You get your 100 K.
Shit, fine.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Lucky I got a drink in me.
Oh, that's fine. (CHUCKLES)
(SNAPS FINGERS)
Oh my god, really?
I knew you'd like it.
(CHUCKLING)
Odds are against you this time around, Danny.
Well I never knew you were on my side.
This is going to be the biggest
poker match of your life,
and you won't even make a penny, win or lose.
Yes, well it's the simple things in life
that keep us humble, so I'll gladly
accept a moral victory.
Well, at least you haven't lost your smart ass abilities.
Indeed, so I heard Henry left.
How are you holding up?
How the hell did you know that?
Word travels fast in the city.
Of course.
Well, you know me, Danny, being a criminal
comes so natural, it's difficult to depart.
Yeah, I can relate.
Mm, I wish I was as good as you.
Everyone does.
Too bad you're a bad dancer.
I'm rusty, thank you very much.
Well, I appreciate the dance, Danny,
but that's all the time I have.
You know me, crimes are committed, people are beat.
Imagine that.
By the way, how did you get that limp?
Sky diving incident.
Ah, of course.
The money will be wired to you tomorrow.
Thank you.
(SIGHS) Take care of yourself, Jazz Boss.
Mm-hmm, good luck.
DANNY: Thank you.
(LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC)
BARTENDER: Hey Arthur.
Get you another one?
I'm good.
BARTENDER: All right.
Hey you.
(CLATTERING)
You owe me a drink.
Excuse me?
I heard your brother got outta jail.
And?
And I was the pool hall.
Shit.
This afternoon he conned me out of all my money.
Best pool player I've ever seen.
He hustled me.
I'm sorry.
Where you goin'?
Your brother's a marked man.
He threw himself in prison to escape everything.
They're gonna kill your brother.
Here, that's for your trouble.
(PHASER BUZZING) (POUNDING)
Somebody call this guy a cab.
He's had too much to drink.
BARTENDER: Hey man, you all right?
(DOOR THUDS)
Anything good in here?
MERCHANT: Nothing of your taste, unfortunately.
Oh, that's too bad.
Yeah, that's a shame.
Word around town is Danny Bishop's back.
You don't say.
ALEX: Have you heard from him?
Have you?
He's playing in the high rollers game.
And I'm wondering who gave him the money to enter.
Well, I'm sure a very nice, generous man
gave it to him.
You're probably right.
You know what I'd like to do to that generous man?
I'd like to skin him alive.
Taste him.
Well I sure hope you find him, Alex.
I'm gonna play in that high rollers game
myself and beat Daniel.
Why do you like to see people suffer?
Oh honey, I get off on it.
That and my two girlfriends.
You're insane.
So I've been told.
I sure would like to be there.
For what?
To see your face when Danny drops the hammer.
He's the best.
And he's 10 times the player you'll ever be.
What makes you so fucking confident?
I taught him.
Place looks like shit.
I've been told.
(CLEARS THROAT)
ARTHUR: Been drinking alone, huh?
Oh my favorite way, Arthur.
ARTHUR: Yeah, you sound just like Dad.
Mm-hmm.
What'd you do?
Nothing.
Danny.
Promise you won't get mad?
ARTHUR: Danny!
Promise?
Fine.
When I was in prison, I was being protected
and I owe these people a large debt,
and if I don't pay them, they're going to kill me.
Oh, and you and Lisa too.
How much do you owe?
Just under a million.
God damn it, Danny!
Would you calm down?
Do you have the money?
No.
Do you have a way to get the money?
Of course, poker tournament.
Jesus Christ, are you outta your mind?
Would you calm down, Dad?
ARTHUR: Don't call me Dad.
Then quit acting like him.
You need to leave.
Look, I'll be able to pay them back.
I think.
You enjoy ruining this family?
Or is this just a game?
Well, Arthur, I was the black sheep of the family.
I never did fit in, did I?
Oh yeah, that's right.
Bitter and sweet, just like Mom.
Yep, bitter and sweet, just like Mom.
And you were the golden child.
Hm, yeah.
It was equal until you chose the life that you have now.
I have never asked you for anything.
Just please trust me this one time, I am begging you.
I can't.
I have a daughter to protect!
(SIGHS LOUDLY)
Your daughter, is that right, Arthur?
Hm.
(SCUFFLING) (GRUNTING)
You stole her from me!
That's 'cause you're a criminal.
Get...
LISA: Enough, you two!
What the hell is going on?
BOTH: Watch your mouth!
Why are you fighting?
ARTHUR: It's adult stuff, Sweetheart.
Adult?
No, children, that's what you are.
Both of you need to realize you come from
the same flesh and same blood
and should rely on each other.
Only then will I consider you men.
He started it.
You had it coming.
(SCREAMS) Enough, you two!
If one of us is in trouble, we're all in trouble.
We're family, we're Bishops.
We'll make it through.
Arthur, treat Danny with respect.
Danny, no more drinking under this roof.
Fine.
ARTHUR: Sweetheart.
(LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC)
Tequila on the rocks with a lime, please.
You'll have to forgive me, but we're closed.
Are you sure?
I wouldn't want this place going out of business.
I so do enjoy coming here.
So spoiled.
I know.
I see you brought a date.
She's venomous like her mama.
Ain't ya, Dolores?
So, what do you want?
I heard Henry left you.
Everybody seems to know about my personal life.
I feel like a fucking celebrity.
Yeah, he'll be back.
Mm, of course he will.
Who could resist you?
Try Catholics.
(LAUGHS) You always do know how to make me smile.
Anyways.
Anyways, you know why I'm here.
Yes, I helped him.
Why?
Maybe I like to watch the thrill of the spill,
just like you.
How could a girl like me
get mad at an answer like that?
Well, I guess we're done here.
Ah, ah, ah.
See if you ever help him out again,
I'm gonna burn this place down to the ground,
with you locked inside of it.
And I'll enjoy every last ash fall to the ground.
Some violence, Alex, ooh.
Relax, I won't help him again.
Thank you.
I know you're going to play in the high rollers game.
So?
Danny's the best con man and poker player
I have ever met, Alex.
He walks in with 20, walks out with 20,000.
Are you trying to intimidate me?
No, no, no.
You see, Danny's blessing, his gift if you will,
is his curse.
Remember that.
Duly noted.
Place really does look great.
Don't give me a reason to ruin it.
And will you be attending the game tomorrow?
No, I'm going to find Henry.
ALEX: Oh, so I'll see you when I see you.
Try knocking next time, Alex.
(KNOCKING)
(WHISTLING)
Daniel Bishop.
Heard you just got out.
It's Danny, Frank, not Daniel.
Anyways, how've ya been?
Get outta my way.
Wait, I have a little business offer for you.
Whatever it is, there's no way in hell
I'm cooperating.
There is nothing you could say in the entire world
that would get me involved.
Nothing, point blank, period.
(ARCADE MUSIC)
Two minutes.
Last time I saw you, you rivered me
on the tournament and ruined my life.
And you had the same shit-eating grin on your face!
I saw those photos on Facebook
of your family's little Hawaii trip.
They looked very nice.
Would've been Europe if someone hadn't screwed me.
I also saw some other photos of you
I decided to print out.
You know, Frank, a 20-year old I could see.
Even get behind, literally.
(FRANK GASPING AND WHEEZING)
16-year old, nyea.
For Frank, 12 years old, 12?
You know, I know Alex's brothel is fun,
don't get me wrong,
but I thought that little (MUMBLES)
had a height requirement.
(FRANK HYPERVENTILATING)
I would really hate to see these photos
get in the hands of the police or even your wife.
(WHEEZING) You bastard.
High rollers game this weekend.
You will help me.
And after you do, I will burn these photos.
Then I will leave the city,
and you become the number one player in town.
(WHEEZING) Why can't (MUFFLED SPEECH).
Oh well, it's the Merchant's terms, not mine.
(WHEEZING) What (GASP) whatever.
I'll do it.
That's a good boy, Frank.
Dan, Dan!
(WHEEZING) If I find out that this arrangement
gets leaked to the cops, so help me God,
your body will be in the bottom of the Mississippi
before you even realize you're wet!
You just cover my ass, and I'll make sure
nothing gets up yours.
We'll talk more details this weekend.
Don't be late.
(KNOCKING) (DRUM BEATS)
Hello.
Hi, what can I do for you?
I'm a friend of your Uncle Daniel's.
Is he home?
No, but I've been expecting you.
Oh you have, have you?
Yes, I assume you're Alex, correct?
Yeah.
Danny told me you'd be stopping by.
Oh he did.
Yes, he also said you're very pretty
and manipulative.
Oh (CHUCKLES) sounds about right.
He said you're like an evil queen from a Disney movie.
Pretty on the outside, but ugly on the inside.
Well I'm flattered.
Lisa, do you know why I'm really here?
Well, to get at me, of course.
Use me as leverage against Danny
at the poker tournament, in hopes
it will psych him out so he loses.
Did he forget to tell you that if he does lose,
I'm gonna put you in a barrel of acid
and make him watch as your skin falls off your bones?
Basically.
Anyways, we're wasting time.
We should take highway 69, less traffic.
We wouldn't want to be late now, would we?
I can't decide whether to give you a job
or kill you now.
The feeling's mutual.
After you, Alex.
(DOOR THUDS)
(CHILD LAUGHS)
That was Louis!
Who?
I hate him.
He makes fun of my friend, Shawn.
Why?
Because Shawn has two moms without a dad.
Driver, follow that boy.
Get in front of him.
Cut him off over by the tree.
(MUMBLES)
(DRUM BEATS)
Hello, Louis.
What do you want?
I heard you've been making fun
of my friend, Shawn.
Yeah what, are you his third mom?
No, I like my women a little more venomous.
I'm what you call the negative side of karma,
in the flesh.
What do you mean?
Oh, don't worry, I'll explain later.
So, why are you making fun of Shawn?
Because he's a pussy, like his dyke moms.
(LAUGHS) Oh, I remember kids like you
when I was growing up.
Used to pick on me because I fucked (MUMBLES).
See, most of those children, fortunately Louis,
are no longer with us.
Whatever, I'm outta here.
Louis, wait, I have something for you.
What?
A $20 bill, and I want you to have it.
Really, why?
I'll give it to you, but you gotta
promise me something first.
What do you want?
Come a little closer and I'll tell you.
I'm close enough.
Louis, come a little closer.
(SIGHS) Fine.
If you ever make fun of Shawn or anyone ever again,
I'm gonna cut off your mother's head
and I'm gonna rip your father's intestines out
and hang you by the roof.
Let me go!
Promise!
I promise!
Here's your 20.
I don't think he's gonna be making fun
of anyone ever again.
Driver, door.
Ah, best thing in life, taking what's not yours
and getting away with it.
And getting a good night's sleep.
Show time.
BARTENDER: You doin' okay, Frank?
(MUMBLES)
Hiya Frank.
Miss me?
How were the girls last week?
Nearly broke my chair.
Oh (CHUCKLES) so you nervous?
Big game, lots a money.
I'm sure I'll do fine.
Fine?
Wouldn't it be better to be great?
Don't you play to win?
I mean, you do have a family and all.
And a business, I might add.
How's that going anyway?
Stocks are up.
Too bad they weren't always.
Too bad.
Hm, what if I told you I had a magical wand
that could take care of that always?
Not interested.
Frank, I thought you were a businessman.
I wouldn't want a man like you
to be made a fool of by Daniel.
What, you care about me now?
I care about the same thing you do.
A bottle of gin and a one night stand?
Winning.
And I have all the money you could ever imagine.
You know Frank, me and you, we're the same.
We play to win.
So many Americans play not to lose.
Do you think that Carnegie, Rockefeller, Jobs
play not to lose?
No, they play foot to ass and they take no prisoners.
Go on.
We all know Daniel likes to drink.
Do me a favor, put this in his drink.
And this is?
Just something to make him a little loopy.
I mean, nothing more than a truth serum.
Do this, Frank, and you'll never need to work again.
Deal?
Deal.
Ah, the life.
Oh Frank, I really do hope this is
a long, prosperous business plan.
The girls will be waiting.
So next Thursday?
As always.
(LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC)
Frank, you good-lookin' SOB.
How'd I know you'd be at the bar?
Can you just do your thing and we'll be fine?
Oh I will, looks like you need a little help.
What, I'll grab you a drink, just go grab a table.
(BEEP)
What was that?
Go grab a table, Dan.
All right, all right, all right.
Don't take too long.
Mick.
Can I get a double scotch and another one of these?
Thanks.
(CASINO PATRONS CHATTERING) (DRUM BEATS)
So you're probably wondering whether
I'll be able to pull this off.
And you're probably wondering how good
I actually am.
Well, I had a good teacher.
And what you should also be asking is,
"Danny, how did you get so good?"
Well, main thing to always realize
is it's not gambling, it's deception.
You can play the math and the odds all you want,
but the one thing that always gets you
to the final table is your image and table presence.
For example, this old thing.
She's looking to get a flush
and she currently has two spades.
I know this because she can't take her eyes
off the two on board as we speak.
Her tell is, well, it's the fact she keeps
stroking her stack of chips.
It's not smart to give your chips
a hand job while staring off.
You see, if you're holding two spades
and there are two more on the board,
along with the other card, that leaves
52 minus five, between 47 cards, of which
13 minus four equal nine more spades.
The chance of hitting the flush on a turn
is nine divide 47, equaling 19.15%
which is about one in five.
If you don't hit on the turn,
your chance of hitting the river
is nine divide 46, equaling 19.57%.
So with all those variables taken into consideration,
roughly she has a 35% chance of getting the flush.
Now her next step is to raise gently.
She doesn't want to come across too confident.
And I'm gonna go all in because I'm buying
my way out of my bluff.
That's right, I have nothing.
And she wants to call, but that little
cautionary voice in her head won't go away,
and in five seconds, she'll fold.
DEALER: Five, four, three, two, one.
I fold.
DANNY: Thank you.
OLD LADY: I knew you had the full house.
Oh, of course, you made
a marvelous decision, let me assure you.
(DRUM BEATS)
Ah, so as I said earlier, table presence,
image, is what matters.
Math comes second.
I mean, just can't you tell by the stack of my chips?
Oh, and as the old bag illustrated earlier,
easy tell is don't give your chips a hand job.
(LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC)
Ah!
So this is it, boys.
This is it. (SIGHS LOUDLY)
Just before we start, aces are good, right?
ALEX: Only queens, Daniel, just like your niece.
Right, Lisa?
That's the rumor.
Oh yes, queens, dames, always
getting the best of me.
That's because you're no ace.
I know, I'm (BURPS) I'm a magician.
Oh really, do tell.
DEALER: All right ladies and gentlemen,
can we please focus on the game?
Well, I wanted to be, but my father
didn't approve and I begged and I begged
and then he broke my leg.
That's how I got the limp.
That's it, that's the story?
Dealer, I've become bored with Texas Holdem.
I'm feeling a little bit more nostalgic.
Five card draw?
Any complaints?
Hey, it's your world, we're just living in it.
Sure, why not?
Dealer, you can deal now.
I'll say, I'll say when you can do it, Dealer.
You can, you can do it, you can do it.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
This is the final table.
We'll conclude with the five card draw.
Aces are high, ante, $10,000.
You know, Daniel, only a monster can out-monster another.
I mean, it only makes sense we collide,
being the two major forces in the city.
(SNEEZES)
Bless you.
LISA: Thanks, Alex.
There's only one monster in this room.
That's why I run the city.
Whoever said I was talking about you?
I bet $15,000.
I'll raise you $30,000.
I can do that. (EXHALES LOUDLY)
You know, Alex, we're not so different.
I mean, we were both rejected by our families
and misunderstood.
I mean, we're survivors.
I didn't know you were such an intellectual.
Dealer, give me two.
I have my moments.
I'll take, dealer, I'll take three.
Three, dealer.
(YAWNS LOUDLY)
I know you're getting bored, Lisa.
But this will all be over soon.
(LAUGHS) Daniel, do you know what we really are?
Criminals, uh, gamblers?
Apex predators.
We're at the top of the food chain, honey.
We control the eco-system and we maintain the city.
DANNY: You sound like a politician.
You shoulda ran for office.
Don't need to.
They're already all in bed with me.
And you watch too much "National Geographic."
(SIGHS) This is gonna be a long game.
Dealer, you can give me three.
You two are both wrong.
You know what you are?
Buckthorn.
BOTH: Buckthorn?
Yeah, Buckthorn.
It's a tree that kills other trees in the forest
by spreading itself around like a cancer,
out-competing native plants and trees for sun.
It thrives on weakness and prospers without any shame.
Yeah, I'm goin' all in.
I'll call.
Alex Buckthorn, oh I do like the sound of that.
However, Frank, what does that make you?
Just a simple Irishman trying to make his way
through the storm called life.
All right, (SIGHS) show me what you got.
Before we show our cards, do you feel that?
Feel what, Frank?
That edge-like feeling of being in control,
yet you don't know what the future holds.
And at any second you could gain or lose everything.
The home of the unknown.
That's what drives me to this game.
Just call, show me.
My favorite, full house.
Four fours.
Pair of kings.
Well, that's the end of me.
I suppose there's always next year, right Danny?
Ta ta, everyone.
It's you and me now, Alex.
Time to remind you what a betta fish is, Daniel.
Tell you what.
I do like climax, so I'm gonna make this
interesting and quick, like my Brazilian wax.
You get a full house, I'll let you live,
but little Lisa here will die.
You get a four of a kind, I'll let you live
and Lisa live.
I'm all ears, go on.
But then there's a choice.
(GASPS) Daddy, Daddy!
Shut her up!
Shut her up.
Everybody shut up.
Nobody moves, we are finishing this god damn game.
(LAUGHS)
Arthur here will die.
And in the rare occasion that you beat me,
and I mean rare, I'll let you all live.
See how Democratic I can be, Daniel?
(LAUGHING) I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'll stop.
(LAUGHING)
Are you done?
Yes (CLEARS THROAT)
So what's the catch, Richard Nixon?
I'll call and you show me your cards.
Whew!
As I once said, I am the betta fish.
Aces high, Daniel.
I think I should just kill you
and your whole family out of principle.
Well what do you have, Alex?
(LAUGHS) Oh.
Four of a kind.
DEALER: Uh ma'am,
(SPECTATORS LAUGHING) you have nothing.
DANNY: This is my favorite part.
Fuck. (LAUGHS)
This isn't over, Daniel!
His name is Danny.
DANNY: Eh, I think I called your bluff.
And it's over.
It was a pleasure meeting you, goodbye!
(SCREAMING) Anyway!
What the fuck happened, Violet?
Was anyone watching that fucking (MUFFLED)
Sure glad I called her bluff.
ALEX: God damn it, who was watching the little girl?
God damn it!
(SPECTATORS CHATTERING QUIETLY)
Did you have fun, Arthur?
Fuck you.
Oh you know, I would really like to untie you,
but you still look a little wound up right now.
So I'm just gonna leave you tied for now.
You can consider that payback for when
you used to fart on me when I was a little kid.
All right, Bishop family, let's go.
Party's over, Danny wins again.
Just joking, come on.
ARTHUR: Not funny.
Danny?
I need to know something.
Oh, I know.
You're wondering how I won so effortlessly.
Well I guess I just didn't know you were that good.
How did you know?
I mean, how did you win?
Well big brother, I have a rare and unique talent.
But to describe it to someone such as yourself,
I'd have to do it in a very rudimentary way.
Essentially, I just rigged the game in my favor.
You cheated.
Well yeah, of course.
I mean, I wasn't gonna risk losing,
if it meant that they would kill me.
Of course, you and Lisa as well.
Jesus, Danny, you're a cheater?
Well yeah!
I mean, you're alive, everything's okay.
You're welcome, by the way.
Have you always been cheating?
Yes, Arthur, sometimes but who cares?
No honor.
Honor, who the hell are you, the Dalai Lama?
Look, how did you know it was gonna work out?
How were so damn certain?
Well, when I was prison, no one laid a hand on me.
Which I found very odd, considering how good-looking I am.
And I knew once I got out I'd have to pay up
because I was being protected.
You're not that good-looking.
Anyways.
Wait a minute, you said that you were
stabbed in the leg when you were in there.
No, I was limping around
so everyone would feel sorry for me.
You are sick.
Oh I'm a natural born con man, Arthur.
What can I say?
Yeah, how can I forget?
Anyways, back to my explanation.
So I had a hunch Alex was gonna threaten
me and my family.
Of course, she would love to see me suffer agony.
I figured what better way to lure her in
than a high stakes poker tournament.
I knew her jealousy would fill her with rage
and fuel her to try and beat me.
Naturally she would try and rig the game, too,
by buying off Frank.
So I made him a better deal.
For leverage, I knew she would try
and kidnap Lisa, but I knew she would
never harm a little girl.
See, Alex rose to power by human trafficking.
My favorite part is, Lisa did most of the work.
I taught her how to play poker when I got out of jail.
My instincts also told me Alex would
keep Lisa close for intimidation.
That played beautifully in my con.
You see, when Alex had a high hand,
Lisa would scratch her nose.
When she had a low hand, Lisa would sneeze and yawn.
Alex had a low-level con,
keeping extra cards in her purse.
Really bad move.
I had Lisa make the pull right under her nose.
She waited until the final hand
to replace Alex's cards with useless ones
to ensure that I won ace high,
obviously leaving Alex with absolutely nothing.
The hardest part, Arthur, honestly
was just keeping a straight face through that whole con.
Not laughing.
The funny thing, too, is I had all the money
to pay off Alex 10 times over.
It's buried under the tree in the backyard.
How much?
Well, if you wanna know, you'll just
have to dig it up and find out.
Of course.
Hey, there's something in the glove compartment
I've been meaning to give you.
This is from Christmas!
Yeah.
You remember when you fell through the ice
with your brand new skates, playing hockey?
Yeah, you came and rescued me.
I've never seen you so scared
in my entire life.
I was sick for a week.
But as a bonus, it was worth it.
I got to miss a week of school.
It's not easy being brothers, huh?
No it isn't.
But we make do, don't we?
Bishops always do.
That's right.
Well, thanks for the ride.
Hey, is there really money
buried under that maple tree?
Perhaps.
You boys doin' okay?
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
All right, what do ya got?
I have a pair of twos.
I have a 10 high.
Double ace.
- Double aces? - You got a pair of aces?
Are you serious?
Again?
What do you mean, again?
- You just had aces. - You just had that.
Double aces.
Hey, you in the fancy jacket.
You know how to play poker?
We need one more.
Well, it's funny you ask.
I've been told I'm okay, but I
personally don't think I'm that good.
Oh really?
Well, you got any money?
Just a little bit.
Hm, it's a $50 buy-in.
I think I can manage that.
- Have a chair. - Manage that.
Come on, hm.
How'd you get your limp?
Well.
(GUITAR-DRIVEN ROCK MUSIC)
(MUFFLED SPEECH)
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