1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,040 [bright tone] 2 00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:11,750 ♪ mellow music ♪ 3 00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:12,884 We're going to LA. It's gonna be amazing. 4 00:00:12,959 --> 00:00:15,249 - Right, Theo? - Yeah. 5 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:15,963 - See? - [Leesa] Can't wait. 6 00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:19,001 I'm really excited to see-- 7 00:00:19,083 --> 00:00:21,253 to see LA, to be in the heat. 8 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:24,673 I'll go, sort everything out. You come. 9 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:27,710 Great times. We're in love in LA. 10 00:00:27,792 --> 00:00:29,502 Have we got a place to live out there? 11 00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:30,543 Have you sorted that yet? 12 00:00:32,834 --> 00:00:34,754 - That will be sorted out. - What about schools? 13 00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:35,924 That will be sorted out. 14 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,420 We are gonna have a great time, 15 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,080 and you need to commit to it. 16 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,666 I am committed to it, 17 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,290 but I-I have booked a return ticket 18 00:00:43,375 --> 00:00:46,745 just in case things don't go to your plan. 19 00:00:46,834 --> 00:00:48,294 But I think you need-- 20 00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:49,665 Have you booked me a return ticket? 21 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,330 - [Leesa] No. - So what happens? 22 00:00:51,417 --> 00:00:53,787 It fails and then you leave me. Is that the strategy? 23 00:00:53,875 --> 00:00:54,875 Maybe. [laughs] 24 00:00:54,959 --> 00:00:56,789 What are you talking about? 25 00:00:56,875 --> 00:00:58,915 Why have you just booked yourself a return ticket? 26 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,290 Because you booked your own ticket, 27 00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:02,625 so I thought, "Well, if he wants"-- 28 00:01:02,709 --> 00:01:03,749 Yeah, but I haven't booked a return, 29 00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:05,134 so what are you gonna do? 30 00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:07,418 "I'll see how it goes with Rom in America. 31 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,710 If it doesn't work out, we'll just come back 32 00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,632 and find a new British man." 33 00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:13,459 No, I didn't think about finding a man, but, you know... 34 00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:14,832 It is going to work out. Theo thinks it's go-- 35 00:01:14,917 --> 00:01:17,957 It's gonna work out, Theo, right? 36 00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:23,417 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 37 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:28,420 ♪♪♪ 38 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,960 ♪ mellow music ♪ 39 00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:33,671 - [doorbell ringing] - [indistinct chatter] 40 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:37,130 ♪♪♪ 41 00:01:37,208 --> 00:01:40,328 - Hello. - [man] Hey, how's it going? 42 00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:42,287 Good, in the house. 43 00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:43,665 - [man] It's nice. - Yeah, do you wanna come in? 44 00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:45,750 [man] Yeah. 45 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:46,384 Come on. 46 00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:50,997 [man] Look at this. 47 00:01:51,083 --> 00:01:53,963 Dining table. 48 00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:56,331 Two crack pipes, as standard. 49 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,077 [man] It's a nice place. 50 00:01:57,166 --> 00:02:01,536 Yes, it is a nice place. Um... 51 00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:03,245 I'm sort of pleased that I've sorted out the house. 52 00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:04,923 It's a big weight taken off the shoulders. 53 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,210 - [Charlie babbling] - Children as normal. 54 00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:07,881 - Ben's here. - Hi, Ben. 55 00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:10,209 - Hi, Ben. - [Ben] Hey. 56 00:02:10,291 --> 00:02:11,921 Unfortunately, this is one of the fixtures 57 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,670 that we had to bring across from the hotel. 58 00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:17,170 ♪♪♪ 59 00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:20,290 Every morning, he does that for about 20 minutes, 60 00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:23,035 and then he'll lie down and go to sleep for a bit. 61 00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:24,455 [Ben] What is he-- what even is that? 62 00:02:24,542 --> 00:02:26,042 [Romesh] I've got no idea. 63 00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:28,455 It's not tai chi. It's just some shit he made up. 64 00:02:28,542 --> 00:02:31,132 ♪♪♪ 65 00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:32,708 Can you put some almond milk in it? 66 00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:34,582 I've looked at schools. 67 00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:36,457 I think I found one that's good. 68 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:38,132 - [Leesa] Really? - [Theo] What's it called? 69 00:02:38,208 --> 00:02:38,708 It doesn't matter what it's called. The-- 70 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,792 Yeah, it does. 71 00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:43,415 Is it close? 72 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,630 Yes, it is close, yeah. 73 00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:48,749 [Ben] What have you done so far on, uh, the school front? 74 00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,754 I haven't done anything. 75 00:02:50,834 --> 00:02:54,044 Got some brekky for me? [panting] 76 00:02:54,125 --> 00:02:56,915 - [Theo] Why are you so wet? - Been in the pool. 77 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,250 Rags, are you serious with this water footprints 78 00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:00,083 all the way through the living room? 79 00:03:00,166 --> 00:03:01,786 [Rags] I'm hungry, mate. 80 00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:03,165 [Leesa] There's healthier stuff in the cupboard. 81 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,460 Ah, yeah, thank you. Nah, that's cool. 82 00:03:04,542 --> 00:03:06,632 I'll just have a bit of this. 83 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,915 [Leesa] There you go. There's a spoon. 84 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,540 [Rags] Oh, thank you, thank you. You are so good. 85 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,245 - I'll leave you all to it. - [children shouting] 86 00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:15,423 - Thank you, Leesa. - See you. See you. 87 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:15,960 Later. 88 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:18,421 Look at this, Rom. 89 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,250 - [Romesh] What? - [Leesa] It's wet everywhere. 90 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,003 What's he even doing out there? 91 00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,833 I don't know. [laughing] Oh, my God. 92 00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:27,327 Okay, I've gotta go see this manager now. 93 00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,787 - Rags? - Yeah? 94 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:29,785 [Romesh] We've gotta get ready to go. 95 00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:31,455 Okay, ready. 96 00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:33,632 ♪ If you can make it out here ♪ 97 00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,129 ♪ Then you can make it anywhere ♪ 98 00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:37,458 ♪ Anywhere, anywhere ♪ 99 00:03:37,542 --> 00:03:40,042 ♪ I click your album in the damn trash on my desktop ♪ 100 00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:42,455 ♪ If I decide I'm coming for a crown then it's heads off ♪ 101 00:03:42,542 --> 00:03:45,132 ♪ Nah, you probably see me wear a cloud for a hat ♪ 102 00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:46,498 ♪ Are you a clown or a actor, man ♪ 103 00:03:46,583 --> 00:03:47,463 ♪ I'm trying to distinguish ♪ 104 00:03:47,542 --> 00:03:50,332 ♪ What type of a business is this ♪ 105 00:03:50,417 --> 00:03:53,417 Ideally, I wanna see what CV I can get 106 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,080 to sort of raise my profile over here. 107 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,876 If your thing doesn't work, 108 00:03:57,959 --> 00:03:58,789 I've got a really good guy. 109 00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:01,325 - His name is Chuck, right? - Yeah. 110 00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:04,997 And he's, um--he manages a lot of very unique people, man. 111 00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,583 All right, so this is just plan B. 112 00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:09,037 Don't worry about it. Let's go and see your manager. 113 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:11,915 [Romesh] Okay, you are very, very positive. 114 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,710 That's why it's great to have you. 115 00:04:13,792 --> 00:04:14,832 - That's why I'm here. - Yeah. 116 00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:17,827 But we need to keep our expectations realistic, right? 117 00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:19,577 - [Rags] Yeah. - [Romesh] So what I'm saying 118 00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:21,917 - is, if you get too Rags... - [Rags] Yeah. 119 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,830 ...I'm gonna say "potato." 120 00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:25,827 - That means I have to just... - That means you need to... 121 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,417 - ...come down a bit. - Yeah. 122 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,960 All right. So if you're forgetting something 123 00:04:31,041 --> 00:04:33,291 or you're asking the wrong questions, can I go, "bananas"? 124 00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:36,325 Do you mean you're gonna say that word? 125 00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:37,997 Yeah, I'll just say, "I feel like a banana." 126 00:04:38,083 --> 00:04:40,043 - Okay. - Cool? 127 00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:41,785 - Yeah, fine. - Lovely, okay. 128 00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:42,535 ♪ If you can make it out here ♪ 129 00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:44,325 ♪ You'll make it anywhere ♪ 130 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,077 ♪ But all I see is people ♪ 131 00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:46,996 ♪ Trying to make it everywhere ♪ 132 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,793 ♪ Dressed like a tramp ♪ 133 00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:49,495 ♪ When I show up to the premiere ♪ 134 00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,673 ♪ Might not know my name ♪ 135 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,630 ♪ But you should be well aware, well aware ♪ 136 00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:54,749 [woman] Uh, you're here because you were t-talking 137 00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:57,214 about you're looking for representation, right? 138 00:04:57,291 --> 00:04:58,711 - [Romesh] Correct, yeah. - [woman] Okay, 139 00:04:58,792 --> 00:04:59,832 - so we're managers. - [Romesh] Yeah. 140 00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:01,577 [woman] So what you're looking for right now 141 00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:05,827 is short-term, let's get butts in seats at the Greek. 142 00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,497 - Yes. - I mean, if you really wanna 143 00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:11,213 go for it, you do a bunch of daytime TV shows. 144 00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:12,211 - Yeah. - Are you wanting to act? 145 00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:15,291 I have done some acting in the past. 146 00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:17,705 You know, he doesn't understand how great and how good he is. 147 00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:21,042 He's--I mean, he can play anything, pretty much, right? 148 00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:22,205 - Okay. - [Rags] Give him a part 149 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,041 in Ben-Hur, he can be the-- 150 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,575 - [woman] In Ben-Hur? - Yeah, and he'll-he'll be 151 00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,417 - the main man. - [woman] Okay. 152 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,210 Would it offend you to read for us, to do that? 153 00:05:30,291 --> 00:05:33,381 - Uh... - [Rags] So if he does that, 154 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,288 well, then he's assured of a part in movies or... 155 00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:37,915 I think, uh, no. 156 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,830 I'll give it my-- I'll give it my best go. 157 00:05:39,917 --> 00:05:41,377 I am feeling a bit sluggish 'cause I... 158 00:05:41,458 --> 00:05:44,038 I sort of ate a potato earlier, 159 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:45,415 and it's sort of sitting a bit funny. 160 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,750 [woman] All right, so let's go into the next room, 161 00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,084 - okay? And... - Okay. 162 00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,416 So, Rom, you don't mind me, uh, 163 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,750 going with you? It's all right? 164 00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,214 - Yeah, that's-that's... - You sure? 165 00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:53,081 Yeah, that's fine, my little potato. 166 00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,416 You come with me. 167 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,540 [camera beeps] 168 00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,415 A large, large Coke. 169 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,080 - Ah. - [woman] Good, okay. 170 00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,246 Franklin Flowers. We deliver with a smile. 171 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:04,673 - [laughs] Perfect. - [laughs] 172 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,210 [man] Now as if you're bored with your job 173 00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:07,751 and you're just saying it. 174 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:08,834 He's been fantastic, hasn't he, so far? 175 00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:10,247 - [Rags] Can I give it a go? - Can you do a line? 176 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,333 Why don't you just sort of couch potato it 177 00:06:12,417 --> 00:06:15,457 for a little bit and I'll just do this, yeah? 178 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,632 Okay. 179 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,129 Maybe somebody should feed him. 180 00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,748 [Romesh] Yeah, a potato. 181 00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:21,504 - Lots and lots of potato. - [laughs] Okay. 182 00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:23,253 Smash it into his face. 183 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:24,383 He doesn't like being on the sidelines, I guess. 184 00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:25,418 No, he's just-- he loves bananas. 185 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:30,250 I said "potato" to that man so much, 186 00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:32,883 and it only pushed him further. 187 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,789 [woman] This is comedy, obviously. 188 00:06:34,875 --> 00:06:35,825 I mean, Terry's a nutcase here. 189 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:38,207 - [Romesh] Sure. - Do you mind if I just, uh, 190 00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:39,881 have a go at it? Would that be okay with you? 191 00:06:39,959 --> 00:06:40,959 Uh, let the potato have a go. It's fine. 192 00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:43,211 Okay, all right. 193 00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:46,131 Hi, thank you for coming in. 194 00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:47,378 Sure, uh, you wanted to talk to me about something? 195 00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:50,498 Yes, there have been some complaints about you 196 00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:52,963 from some of the other employees. 197 00:06:53,041 --> 00:06:54,291 They say you have a quick temper. 198 00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:55,785 [yelling] What? 199 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,075 I swear, when I find out who said that, 200 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,496 I'm gonna rip his pancreas out through his fucking nostrils! 201 00:06:59,583 --> 00:07:00,963 Calm down. 202 00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:04,671 [laughing maniacally] 203 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:07,290 Can we go the opposite way, just in case... 204 00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:09,205 You wanna be on camera? All right, go-go ahead. 205 00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:11,001 [Romesh] What became clear is, Rags is actually 206 00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:12,923 more interested in getting himself a manager. 207 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,170 Hi, thank you for coming in. 208 00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:18,881 Take your time. 209 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:20,329 It's a real hot potato of a script, this one. 210 00:07:20,417 --> 00:07:22,827 [Ben] He was just quite fond of 211 00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,827 sort of a dramatic pause, I noticed. 212 00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:26,957 It wasn't--the thing is, it wasn't a dramatic pause. 213 00:07:27,041 --> 00:07:28,671 It looked like a dramatic pause, 214 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,790 but what it was is him trying to find what line he was on. 215 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,375 They say you've got a quick temper. 216 00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:37,463 What? I swear, when I find out who said that, 217 00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:39,292 I'm gonna rip his pancreas out 218 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,705 through his stinking nostrils. 219 00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:42,542 Okay, ca-calm down. 220 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:45,165 Do you have a split personality? 221 00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:48,540 No! Yes. No! Yes. 222 00:07:48,625 --> 00:07:49,995 [giggles] 223 00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:52,544 That's great. 224 00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:55,325 [woman] Okay, good. [laughs] 225 00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:58,417 Have I got any sort of future in this, do you think, or... 226 00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,380 Um... 227 00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:02,078 [Romesh] How do you think that went? 228 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,706 How do you think it went? 229 00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:05,132 Well, I think you don't understand 230 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:06,378 what a bloody code word is. 231 00:08:06,458 --> 00:08:08,078 They might not decide to work with me, 232 00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:12,126 and I believe that that is almost entirely down to you. 233 00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,708 Wait and see. Chuck might. 234 00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,382 - Chuck. Chuck is the man. - Oh, my God. 235 00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:16,878 Forget it. Potato. 236 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:18,669 - What's wrong? - Potato, potato. 237 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,710 - What's wrong with you? - Potato. Potato! 238 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,792 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 239 00:08:23,875 --> 00:08:27,415 ♪♪♪ 240 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,830 [bottle clinks, hisses] 241 00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:33,165 - Ragamuffin. - Oh. 242 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,750 Thank you. 243 00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:37,334 [Romesh sighs] 244 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,877 Listen, I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you 245 00:08:38,959 --> 00:08:40,379 earlier at the--you know, with Steve and Barb. 246 00:08:40,458 --> 00:08:42,748 Honestly, I was a little bit upset, 247 00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:45,544 but thank you very much for-for the apology. 248 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,665 Everything will be cool from this point. 249 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,580 Well, I had a look at ticket sales today. 250 00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:51,577 - Uh-huh. - And there's actually been 251 00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:54,327 the biggest spike in ticket sales since 252 00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:55,827 they went on sale initially. 253 00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:57,037 Congratulations. How did you do that? 254 00:08:57,125 --> 00:09:01,035 Bizarrely, I actually think it is down to the benches. 255 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,745 - Seriously? - No, honestly, I-- 256 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,964 Thank you. I'm sorry I doubted you. 257 00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:07,881 Man, I'm so happy, Rom, honestly. 258 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:10,709 I feel like I'm choking on this beer, seriously. 259 00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:12,582 That's not really a sign of happiness. 260 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:13,957 Because it's like, 261 00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:16,171 it won't go down. Like, my throat's, like-- 262 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:17,960 - Closing up? - Closing up on me, man. 263 00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:20,291 Do you think that's happiness or, like, an allergic reaction? 264 00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:22,455 Pure happiness. 265 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:27,460 ♪ mellow cha-cha music ♪ 266 00:09:27,542 --> 00:09:32,582 ♪♪♪ 267 00:09:33,041 --> 00:09:34,171 [Romesh] I've been worried 268 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:37,580 about sorting out this school situation for the kids. 269 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:40,497 Uh, and I haven't done anywhere near enough for it. 270 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:42,633 And amazingly, 271 00:09:42,709 --> 00:09:45,169 I managed to arrange a tour for today. 272 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,670 I'm really happy you sorted it out because, 273 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,750 you know, you've obviously done a lot of research 274 00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,714 and you've taken time out to go and see them all, 275 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,632 so you've done really well. Well done. 276 00:09:54,709 --> 00:09:56,289 - I'm so proud of you. - Are you really proud of me? 277 00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:57,875 - [Leesa] Yeah. - [Romesh] I had sort of implied 278 00:09:57,959 --> 00:10:00,209 to Leesa that I knew about the school 279 00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:02,001 and, in fact, that I'd been there before. 280 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:04,923 So my mission, uh, on this school tour 281 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:05,960 is to convince her 282 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,631 that I'd already been on a tour of that school. 283 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,669 ♪ upbeat hip-hop music ♪ 284 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:15,920 ♪♪♪ 285 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,713 - [Leesa] Hello. - [Romesh] Hello. 286 00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:21,462 [woman] Welcome, welcome. 287 00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:22,672 - [Leesa] Thank you very much. - Kim Buckingham. 288 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:25,460 - Nice to meet you. - Lovely to meet you. 289 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,252 - Hi. Romesh. I don't think-- - Nice to meet you. Welcome. 290 00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:29,043 I don't know if I saw you last time I was round here. 291 00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:31,035 I don't think so. I was in Nashville. 292 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,035 - [Kim] What's your name? - [Theo] Theo. 293 00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:34,035 [Kim] What kind of stuff do you like to do? 294 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,625 - [Theo] Sport. - Do you like sports? 295 00:10:35,709 --> 00:10:37,539 - Do you like art at all? - [Theo] Yeah. 296 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:38,455 I've been doing a lot of art with my dad. 297 00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:42,002 - You have? - Yeah, around LA. 298 00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:44,543 Well, have you seen a lot of graffiti? 299 00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:46,415 - Yeah. - I love graffiti. 300 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,500 - [Romesh] Yeah. Yeah, okay. - [Kim] This is Ms. Beja. 301 00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:49,713 - Hello. - [Romesh] Hello. 302 00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:52,082 [Kim] Ms. Beja is the-the queen guru of art. 303 00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:53,376 Nice to see you again. 304 00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:54,538 See, if you are assertive enough 305 00:10:54,625 --> 00:10:57,205 and affirm that you've met someone, 306 00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,041 it's very difficult for them to say, "No, we haven't." 307 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,535 Hi. Romesh. I think we met last time I was here. 308 00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:03,375 - Yes, I believe so. - [Romesh] Yeah, yeah. 309 00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:05,498 Also, people get nervous about being accused of racism 310 00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:07,003 when they say they don't-- "I don't remember seeing you." 311 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,173 "Oh, is that 'cause we all look the same?" 312 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,630 [Kim] So these are all the people that the kids study. 313 00:11:10,709 --> 00:11:11,879 - [Leesa] Right. - [Romesh] Oh, I loved this 314 00:11:11,959 --> 00:11:13,959 last time I was here. It's great. 315 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,881 I remember seeing, um, Mother Teresa here somewhere. 316 00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:17,709 - Is Mother Ter--oh, there. - [Kim] She is. 317 00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:20,382 - There, that's right. - She is. 318 00:11:20,458 --> 00:11:22,078 [Romesh] I also pulled an incredible little maneuver 319 00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:25,076 of spotting things ahead in the tour 320 00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:28,576 and then announcing that I remember them from last time. 321 00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,247 I remember last time I was here, 322 00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,793 there was, like, an amazing quote somewhere. 323 00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,075 I can't-- 324 00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:35,246 Oh, there it is, that one there. 325 00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:37,423 "When someone tugs on a single thing in nature, 326 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,250 he finds it attached to the rest of the world." 327 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:40,923 It really stuck with me from last time, that. 328 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,920 I'm glad. I'm glad. Well, we try to do that 329 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:43,710 - with the kids. - [Romesh] Yeah. 330 00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:46,832 It was incredible. [stammering] 331 00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:47,707 A small part of the tour, I spent thinking, 332 00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:50,082 "Maybe I have been here before." 333 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,246 Was there-- there was a "time flies" 334 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,423 thing around here somewhere. 335 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,710 - [Kim] My clock? Here. - [Romesh] Oh, there it is. 336 00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:59,002 The reason I like that clock is 'cause its eyes are like mine, 337 00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:00,793 - if you have a look. - [Leesa] Ah, yeah. 338 00:12:00,875 --> 00:12:04,825 [Kim laughing] This way, this way. 339 00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:06,787 Let's have a little seat. 340 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,325 - [woman] Hi, how are you? - [Romesh] I'm good, thank you. 341 00:12:08,417 --> 00:12:09,077 - I'm Martha. - Romesh. How's it going? 342 00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:11,376 I'm the director of the school. 343 00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:13,578 You are Theo. I know that already. 344 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,127 [Romesh] The vibe I get from this place 345 00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:19,668 is arguably a little bit more funky than I would like, 346 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:20,380 but I don't think it's a problem. 347 00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:21,788 Thank you so much for coming 348 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,495 and having interest in our school. 349 00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:28,083 Tell me what do you think after Kimmy give you the tour? 350 00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:30,626 I sort of--I've seen it before, and I love it, so... 351 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,709 Yeah, and I'm such a massive advocate for the arts. 352 00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:35,212 When you said that you saw it before, 353 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:36,631 you been here before at the school? 354 00:12:36,709 --> 00:12:37,669 Yes, I had a look around, yeah, a few-- 355 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:41,670 a few weeks-- a couple weeks ago maybe. 356 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:45,380 Uh, I was just--we-we're sort of looking for the three boys. 357 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:48,128 - Three, five, and seven, that's the ages? 358 00:12:48,208 --> 00:12:49,078 Three, six, and eight. 359 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:52,376 The oldest kid here is seven years old. 360 00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:54,998 We starting at two and a half years old, 361 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,253 and kids have to be potty-trained. 362 00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:59,423 Uh, that's very important to us. 363 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,880 Yeah, that may be a problem. [laughs] 364 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:06,876 Sorry it-it wasn't quite what I was led to believe. 365 00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:08,209 It's just, Charlie's not potty-trained. 366 00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:09,331 - No. - He can't obviously-- 367 00:13:09,417 --> 00:13:10,997 I don't wanna be in a class with five-year-olds. 368 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,833 They didn't tell me anything about that last time I came. 369 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,497 That's because you never went last time. 370 00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,003 You just made this whole thing up. 371 00:13:20,792 --> 00:13:23,792 Okay, I haven't been here before. 372 00:13:23,875 --> 00:13:24,995 I knew you hadn't. You were just pointing at stuff. 373 00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:26,923 If I tell you why-- it's just 'cause 374 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,880 I wanted you to be reassured and calm. 375 00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,879 You just lied to me about everything. 376 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:32,669 It was quite-- I did it quite well, though. 377 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,630 To the untrained eye, but I knew. 378 00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:36,169 You're trained, are you, in spotting when your husband's 379 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:36,880 - lying about a school tour? - [Leesa] Yeah. 380 00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,879 Is that a course that you did? 381 00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:40,829 I can spot when you lie about everything. 382 00:13:40,917 --> 00:13:43,287 All right, come on, let's go. I'm thinking home school. 383 00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:44,035 [Leesa] Ah, we'll see. 384 00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:45,375 But we don't call it home school. 385 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,878 We call it--we call it 386 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,709 the Ranganathans' Emporium of Education. 387 00:13:49,792 --> 00:13:52,752 ♪ upbeat hip-hop music ♪ 388 00:13:52,834 --> 00:13:57,044 ♪♪♪ 389 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,880 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome 390 00:14:07,959 --> 00:14:10,669 to Ranganathans' Emporium of Education. 391 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,210 The host of the show tonight: 392 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:17,331 Romesh Ranganathan! 393 00:14:17,417 --> 00:14:19,077 [Romesh] Hello! 394 00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:21,166 [game show music playing on cell phone] 395 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,290 [laughter] 396 00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:24,745 [Rags] Come on, clap, guys. 397 00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:26,174 Okay, cut it. 398 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,130 Hello, and welcome to 399 00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:30,378 Ranganathans' Emporium of Education. 400 00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,498 How we doing? 401 00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:34,633 - Good! - Excellent. 402 00:14:34,709 --> 00:14:36,329 When you think of homeschooling, 403 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,167 you think of sort of a smelly hippie parent 404 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:41,040 reading to their kid, asking them a question. 405 00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:43,205 That's kind of the image of homeschooling. 406 00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:46,791 I'm trying to show Leesa she has to think outside of that 407 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:49,125 sort of hippie-ish box. 408 00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:51,328 - Hello, Alex, how are you? - Good. 409 00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:52,957 Okay, go for it. Spin the wheel! 410 00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:56,041 - [Leesa cheering] - [game show music playing] 411 00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:58,625 [Romesh] Maths, your question is on maths. 412 00:14:58,709 --> 00:15:02,749 Alex, what is 25 plus three? 413 00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:05,584 - Twenty-eight. - Congratulations! 414 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,127 You have a point, yay! 415 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:11,208 - [Leesa] You got a point. - [Romesh] Next up is... 416 00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:12,961 Charlie Ranganathan. 417 00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:13,961 Come on up here. 418 00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:17,501 Okay, Charlie, would you like to spin the wheel? 419 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,833 - [children laugh] - [Leesa] Yay. [clapping] 420 00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:22,667 - [Alex] Next up... - [all] Science. 421 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,330 [Romesh] Your science question is, 422 00:15:24,417 --> 00:15:27,497 what do you call the white things in the sky? 423 00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:29,173 Mm, clouds. 424 00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,000 - [Romesh] Clouds, well done. - Yay. 425 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:32,383 Congratulations. 426 00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:35,328 They're all into it, and I'm like-- 427 00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,077 I-I started to, like, think, "Oh, my God, I've smashed this 428 00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,916 even harder than I thought I was gonna smash it. 429 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,000 In which country would you find the city Paris? 430 00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:44,423 France? 431 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,750 [Romesh] France is the correct answer, well done. 432 00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:49,714 But gradually, as each round went on 433 00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:52,582 and the novelty of it sort of dissipated, 434 00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:53,787 they started to question the rules. 435 00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:56,665 They started to question my authority. 436 00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:59,500 - [Charlie squealing] - What is seven times three? 437 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,043 [Theo] Dad, this is boring. 438 00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:03,205 - [Romesh] Why? - 'Cause it is. 439 00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:04,791 They started taking sweets 440 00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:06,285 when they hadn't got sweets on the wheel. 441 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,825 Theo, no. Boys, no. Boys. 442 00:16:08,917 --> 00:16:10,787 What is three plus four? 443 00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:12,705 Uh... 444 00:16:12,792 --> 00:16:13,962 Leesa and I have a difference of opinion on how that went. 445 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,461 I mean, we both--we don't have 446 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:16,542 a difference of opinion that it was bad. 447 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:19,705 - [Charlie wailing] - [Romesh] Charlie, Charlie. 448 00:16:19,792 --> 00:16:23,002 But what I think is, that is step one 449 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,543 in making homeschooling work, whereas Leesa sees that 450 00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:26,875 as very strong evidence that we shouldn't be homeschooling. 451 00:16:26,959 --> 00:16:29,129 Okay, that is all we've got time for. 452 00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,038 Do we get a prize? You haven't worked out who's won. 453 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:35,665 [Romesh] The prize for the whole family is... 454 00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:37,130 - [Rags] Oh. - Just use that for a bit. 455 00:16:37,208 --> 00:16:39,708 Which basically means that from now on, 456 00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:42,922 Leesa is taking control of educating our kids. 457 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,040 Where are you going--no, you can't take the Skittles. 458 00:16:45,125 --> 00:16:48,455 I'm gonna go smash this to pieces. Bye. 459 00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:51,332 [Leesa] Think of your waistline. 460 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,960 ♪ mellow hip-hop music ♪ 461 00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:58,251 ♪♪♪ 462 00:16:58,333 --> 00:16:59,423 [Ben] What's happening today? 463 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:02,580 [Romesh] Well, today is a big deal because, uh, 464 00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:03,957 shockingly, despite Rags sabotaging the meeting, 465 00:17:04,041 --> 00:17:06,211 Steve and Barb have got me a part 466 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:10,211 in The Young and the Restless, the soap opera. 467 00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,751 [indistinct chatter] 468 00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,544 I'm in quite a few scenes. 469 00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:14,495 - Are you? - Yeah. 470 00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:15,753 That's brilliant, mate. 471 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,214 I've only got three lines, though. 472 00:17:17,291 --> 00:17:18,921 I am happy, obviously, because I said to them, 473 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000 "I need to get TV exposure before the Greek," 474 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,923 and they've sorted out TV exposure before the Greek. 475 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,081 This is good, right? I'm doing TV. 476 00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:26,996 I'm doing television in America. 477 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,253 I am gonna be on TV in America, 478 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:32,503 in a soap opera, The Young and the Restless. 479 00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,293 I've actually fucking heard of it. 480 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:36,455 Can you read some lines with me? 481 00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:37,382 You want me to help you just with that? 482 00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,378 - Yes. - Which one you talking about? 483 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,788 I'm cameraman. You read all the other lines. 484 00:17:41,875 --> 00:17:42,455 Right, so I start with Hilary? 485 00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:44,292 Yeah. 486 00:17:44,375 --> 00:17:47,205 Let's take five and we'll see what else we can get, yeah? 487 00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:49,961 [with American accent] So we're staying here, then? 488 00:17:50,041 --> 00:17:51,461 That's the plan? 489 00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,042 So you're do--gonna do a American accent? 490 00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:54,625 [normal voice] Yeah, what do you think? 491 00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,329 It's pretty good. I reckon it's good. 492 00:17:56,417 --> 00:17:57,877 [Romesh] I could do it with an English accent. 493 00:17:57,959 --> 00:17:59,459 Of course I could. But I've done-- 494 00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:01,962 All of the acting I've done has been with an English accent. 495 00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:04,461 You know, what would be great is to show 496 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,382 that I've got it in my locker 497 00:18:06,458 --> 00:18:08,248 to do a convincing American accent. 498 00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:09,883 [with Southern accent] So we're staying here, then? 499 00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:11,749 That's the plan-- is that what the plan-- 500 00:18:11,834 --> 00:18:13,424 goddamn plan, we're staying here? 501 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:14,500 Hmm. 502 00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,673 I've been to other auditions where they've gone, 503 00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,000 "Oh, we want an American accent," or whatever. 504 00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:19,713 Now I can just go, "Yeah, I've done it. 505 00:18:19,792 --> 00:18:20,792 I did it in The Young and the Restless." 506 00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:22,745 [with New York accent] So we're staying here, then, 507 00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:24,174 that's the plan? 508 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,830 So we're staying here, then, that's the plan? 509 00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:27,747 You were doing the Al Pacino just before that, right? 510 00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:29,334 - No. - What? 511 00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:30,787 Just--I'm just mixing it up. 512 00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,165 - All right, yeah. - [knock at door] 513 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:34,290 - Hello. Hi, Mishael. - Hey. I'm--yes, hi. 514 00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:35,625 - How you doing? How you doing? - Good. 515 00:18:35,709 --> 00:18:36,499 - This is my Uncle Rags. - Hi, Mishael. 516 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,333 - Hi. Mishael. - Yeah, nice to meet you. 517 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:39,377 - Nice to meet you. - How you doing? 518 00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:40,918 - Good. - Oh, excellent. 519 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,420 [Mishael] We're working together today. 520 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,830 - [Rags] Oh, wow. - So I just wanted to see 521 00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:45,667 how things are going. 522 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,880 Well, I'm just trying to figure out how to play this. 523 00:18:47,959 --> 00:18:49,459 Okay. 524 00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:50,132 [Romesh] So I was just trying the different accents out. 525 00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:52,498 Do you wanna run this scene? 526 00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:53,503 - [Mishael] Sure, let's run it. - [Romesh] Ready? 527 00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,043 Ready. 528 00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:55,995 Okay, let's take five, and then we'll-- 529 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:58,333 we'll see what we can get. 530 00:18:58,417 --> 00:18:59,537 [with New York accent] So we're staying here, then, 531 00:18:59,625 --> 00:19:01,915 that's the plan? 532 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,580 Um, well, it's my name on the titles and not yours, 533 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:06,997 so the plan is, do whatever I want 534 00:19:07,083 --> 00:19:08,503 whenever I want-- sound like a plan? 535 00:19:08,583 --> 00:19:09,543 I just kinda thought this gig would involve 536 00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:13,375 a little bit more, you know, celebrity interaction. 537 00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,578 [normal voice] What about if I did it down South? 538 00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:16,917 [with Southern accent] So we're staying here, then? 539 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,380 That's the plan? 540 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:19,958 Yeah, I think that's great. 541 00:19:20,041 --> 00:19:21,211 You really--that worked? 542 00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,291 We'll see what the director says, okay? 543 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:24,875 Okay, thank you. Thanks, Mishael. 544 00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:25,629 I really appreciate it. I'll see you in a bit. 545 00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:27,209 You take care. Okay, good luck. 546 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,461 - [Rags] Thank you. - Thanks. 547 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,082 So what was that all about? 548 00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:31,326 It wasn't about anything. 549 00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:33,747 Before that, when you were doing it with me, 550 00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:36,714 you did a great job. Then you just went down. 551 00:19:36,792 --> 00:19:38,082 [with thick New York accent] So we're staying here, then? 552 00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:38,666 That's the plan? 553 00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:41,380 That's better, 554 00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:42,918 so much better. 555 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,630 ♪ mellow music ♪ 556 00:19:46,709 --> 00:19:48,419 [Ben] You really wanna do the accent? 557 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,790 If I can only do an English accent, 558 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:52,035 then I'm straight-- I'm limited. 559 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,415 I'm already limited by my look. 560 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:55,710 [man] And go. 561 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:56,752 Victoria Newman, care to comment 562 00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:58,754 - on the Newman sex scandal? - [man] Perfect. 563 00:19:58,834 --> 00:20:00,424 Do you know what I mean? So what I don't wanna do 564 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,210 is put another restriction on that by not being able 565 00:20:02,291 --> 00:20:04,131 to play parts that require an American accent. 566 00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:06,168 Can I just ask, what accent would you like from me? 567 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:08,750 'Cause I can sort of do, like-- like, I could go, like... 568 00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:09,544 [with New York accent] Really? We're standing here? 569 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,575 That's the plan? You know, or... 570 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,787 [with Southern accent] We're standing here? That's the plan? 571 00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:14,575 Have you spoken yet in-in that last one? 572 00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,377 - No. - This is the first time? 573 00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:17,998 - Yeah. Okay. - Try the American accent. 574 00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:18,673 - See how that feels. - All right, cool. 575 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,750 Let's hear it. 576 00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:21,504 [with New York accent] We're just gonna stand here? 577 00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:22,753 [normal voice] No, that's too much. 578 00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,634 [with various accents] So we're just gonna stay here, then? 579 00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:26,249 That's the plan? That's the plan? 580 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,253 What, we're gonna just stand here? That's the plan? 581 00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:30,293 Do you think I sound American when I say this? 582 00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:32,375 So we're staying here, then? That's the plan? 583 00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:33,458 As far as the words 584 00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:35,002 - or your accent? - My accent. 585 00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:35,673 So we're gonna stand-- stay here, then? 586 00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:38,040 That's the plan? 587 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:39,995 So we're staying here, then? That's the plan? 588 00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,383 Yeah. 589 00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:42,788 Think I forgot my shovel. Is that too much? 590 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,705 Is that your line? 591 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:47,456 [whispering] Fucking hell. 592 00:20:47,542 --> 00:20:49,082 - [Romesh] Forgot. - For-got. 593 00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,246 [Romesh] Forgot. I think I forgot my shovel. 594 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,833 I think I forgot my shovel. 595 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:53,997 - Like that? - Mm-hmm. 596 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:56,083 So we're staying here, then? That's the plan? How's that? 597 00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:56,996 - Sounds good to me. - That was pretty good. 598 00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:58,253 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 599 00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,713 I'm Romanian, so... [laughs] 600 00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,962 Oh, Jesus Christ, why am I even talking to you? 601 00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:04,421 [buzzer blares] 602 00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:07,923 [man] Scene four, take one. 603 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,500 Quiet on set. 604 00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:11,003 Action. 605 00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:12,793 Keep clicking for more buzzworthy content 606 00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:14,535 live as they happen. 607 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,325 All right, let's-let's take five 608 00:21:17,417 --> 00:21:18,997 and see what else we can get. 609 00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:20,423 [with New York accent] So we're just gonna stand he-- 610 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:22,330 - stand here? That's the plan? - [man] Cut! 611 00:21:22,417 --> 00:21:23,787 - [buzzer blares] - [Romesh] Look. 612 00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:24,785 [man] Go with the British accent. 613 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:27,915 [man] Reset. 614 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,710 [normal voice] Okay. 615 00:21:29,792 --> 00:21:31,712 Disappointment in there. I actually thought I'd got it. 616 00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:33,382 [Ben] So you're retiring your American accent? 617 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,128 [with urban accent] Hell no, motherfucker. 618 00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:39,328 I'ma do my American accent whenever it's required, shit. 619 00:21:39,417 --> 00:21:41,667 [normal voice] We're staying here, then? That's the plan? 620 00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:43,290 [with urban accent] That's the plan? 621 00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:43,875 That's the plan, we're just staying here? 622 00:21:43,959 --> 00:21:45,289 That's the plan? 623 00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:47,825 [normal voice] I figured this job would involve 624 00:21:47,917 --> 00:21:50,037 a little bit more, you know, like, celebrity interaction. 625 00:21:50,125 --> 00:21:51,995 [with urban accent] How do you like them camera actions, bitch? 626 00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,383 I'm playing this motherfucking focus 627 00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:55,668 like a goddamn accordion, motherfucker! 628 00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:57,000 [normal voice] I think I forgot my shovel, 629 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,633 so if you need me, I'll be on my phone. 630 00:21:58,709 --> 00:21:59,789 [with urban accent] I think I forgot my shovel. 631 00:21:59,875 --> 00:22:01,495 If you need me, 632 00:22:01,583 --> 00:22:04,043 I'ma be on my motherfucking telepohoney, bitch. 633 00:22:04,125 --> 00:22:05,705 Bam! Gotcha! 634 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:07,462 See you later. Cameraman out. Fuck y'all! 635 00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:12,253 [Romesh] I'm happy, like, I've done it, 636 00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:16,213 and I think, like, once I'd sort of overcome 637 00:22:16,291 --> 00:22:20,461 the kinda disappointment of not doing an accent, 638 00:22:20,542 --> 00:22:21,542 I actually thought I did all right, 639 00:22:21,625 --> 00:22:22,495 do you know what I mean? 640 00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:25,253 I did speak to the producer. 641 00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:28,213 And it seems that the show is not on till 642 00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:31,421 after the Greek show. 643 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:33,630 - What's the goal with that? - Are you shitting me? 644 00:22:33,709 --> 00:22:35,169 A hundred percent definitely 645 00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:36,420 that it's not on till after the Greek? 646 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,920 Hundred percent. You go and ask him. 647 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,250 Seriously, man, I think we gotta do something else. 648 00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:42,503 My Chuck is the man. 649 00:22:42,583 --> 00:22:45,833 Let's go see him, and he'll sort it out, all right? 650 00:22:45,917 --> 00:22:47,827 [sighs] 651 00:22:47,917 --> 00:22:50,077 Okay. 652 00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:53,126 ♪ eerie hip-hop music ♪ 653 00:22:53,208 --> 00:22:57,788 ♪♪♪ 654 00:22:57,875 --> 00:23:00,875 [Rags] He deals with entertainers, everybody, man. 655 00:23:00,959 --> 00:23:01,959 He's gonna solve all our problems, right? 656 00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:04,131 He's the man. 657 00:23:04,208 --> 00:23:05,748 Why are we meeting him here? 658 00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:06,924 Well, because it's, uh, Friday Fright Night, mate. 659 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,880 ♪♪♪ 660 00:23:10,959 --> 00:23:14,539 This guy is gonna get you on TV immediately, mate. 661 00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:16,375 It's gonna be done tonight. 662 00:23:16,458 --> 00:23:18,168 This is where it's gonna be shot, right? 663 00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:19,750 Hey, Chuck. 664 00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:21,294 - [Chuck] Oh! - [Rags] How you doing, man? 665 00:23:21,375 --> 00:23:22,785 - My friend Rags. - Long time, no see, bro. 666 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:24,205 [Chuck] Great to see you again. 667 00:23:24,291 --> 00:23:26,421 Why do you look so good? You look terrific. 668 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,250 - Oh, you look great too. - [Chuck] Oh, thank you. 669 00:23:28,333 --> 00:23:31,003 - That's my mate Chuck. - Hi. Romesh. Nice to meet you. 670 00:23:31,083 --> 00:23:32,333 This the guy I was talking about. 671 00:23:32,417 --> 00:23:33,877 I saw your clips. 672 00:23:33,959 --> 00:23:36,539 You do a hell of a great job. You're fantastic. 673 00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:38,035 - Thank you very much. - [Chuck] Really good. 674 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,915 How you doing mate? You all right? 675 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,960 He introduced me to his guy Chuck Harris, 676 00:23:42,041 --> 00:23:45,001 who looks like the stereotypical agent. 677 00:23:45,083 --> 00:23:46,793 Big glasses, a cigar, the... 678 00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:47,745 [with New York accent] "I'm gonna make you a star, kid. 679 00:23:47,834 --> 00:23:49,254 You're really funny," and all that shit. 680 00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:52,083 I understand we-we-- we're here 681 00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:53,916 to promote this young man over here. 682 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,830 Definitely, man. We gotta sell 6,000 tickets. 683 00:23:56,917 --> 00:23:58,787 - If they saw what I saw... - Yeah. 684 00:23:58,875 --> 00:24:00,165 [Chuck] ...we're gonna sell it. I'm serious. 685 00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:01,630 Are these, uh, guys... 686 00:24:01,709 --> 00:24:03,169 Yeah, these are two clients of mine. 687 00:24:03,250 --> 00:24:04,630 - Right. - I'm the Dragon Lady. 688 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:05,539 - You're the Dragon Lady? Right. - Yes. 689 00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,875 [Chuck] And this is known as the Wolf Boy. 690 00:24:07,959 --> 00:24:08,709 - Wolf Boy? Right. - [man] Man now. 691 00:24:08,792 --> 00:24:10,582 He's been with me for so many years 692 00:24:10,667 --> 00:24:13,287 that he was the Wolf Boy; now he's the Wolf Man. 693 00:24:13,375 --> 00:24:16,535 His whole body is covered with hair. 694 00:24:16,625 --> 00:24:18,325 And Tiamat here... 695 00:24:18,417 --> 00:24:20,037 I'm a male-to-female transsexual. 696 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,995 [Rags] Right, that's what it is. I was just wondering, 697 00:24:22,083 --> 00:24:23,043 because that's why he called you "she." 698 00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:26,205 Yes, I'm also, uh, transforming into a reptilian-- 699 00:24:26,291 --> 00:24:28,881 into a dragon, a serpent dragon in particular, yes. 700 00:24:28,959 --> 00:24:29,999 - That's really cool. - I'm doing a full-body 701 00:24:30,083 --> 00:24:32,543 - 100 percent transformation. - [Rags] Love that. 702 00:24:32,625 --> 00:24:33,455 My ears are gone. See my ears are gone? 703 00:24:33,542 --> 00:24:36,042 - [Rags] Oh, yeah. - My nose. 704 00:24:36,125 --> 00:24:39,535 [Rags] Right, oh, even the tongue's pretty much lizard. 705 00:24:39,625 --> 00:24:42,285 I think I'm a little serious about this. 706 00:24:42,375 --> 00:24:44,375 Rags, can I have a quick word with you, please? 707 00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:45,748 Yeah, we're just gonna go hang out, 708 00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:47,424 and then we'll come back in a bit. 709 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,960 Just two minutes, we'll have a little chat, you know. 710 00:24:49,041 --> 00:24:50,711 Please do, yeah. 711 00:24:50,792 --> 00:24:51,712 [Romesh] What the fuck is that? 712 00:24:51,792 --> 00:24:55,042 [Rags] That's just two of his clients. 713 00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:57,035 This guy is very famous. 714 00:24:57,125 --> 00:24:58,035 You know what he does, right? 715 00:24:58,125 --> 00:25:01,415 Yeah, no, ju--he does also unique people. 716 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:02,920 [Romesh] He's a freak show agent. 717 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,420 [Tiamat screams] 718 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:05,920 You understand? Look at that. 719 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,170 - [woman] But you have a-- - [hisses] 720 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:08,630 Okay, I was not expecting that. 721 00:25:08,709 --> 00:25:09,919 It's not a freak show. 722 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,750 Well, 723 00:25:11,834 --> 00:25:14,504 the other two people that are gonna be doing this 724 00:25:14,583 --> 00:25:16,543 are the Wolf Man and the Dragon Lady. 725 00:25:16,625 --> 00:25:20,075 I'm not signing with him. You know that, right? 726 00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:22,326 This is a good opportunity, but he's not gonna be my manager. 727 00:25:22,417 --> 00:25:24,207 I just want you to get that into your head. 728 00:25:24,291 --> 00:25:27,001 Okay, we'll-we'll talk about the agent thing later on, okay? 729 00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:28,923 Let's get this show on the road, 730 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,540 and then we'll sell the tickets. That's what matters. 731 00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:35,075 Because this TV show is gonna be before 21st. 732 00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:36,786 All right? You get that? 733 00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:39,125 This show will be on TV everywhere. 734 00:25:39,208 --> 00:25:41,998 ♪ mellow music ♪ 735 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,463 Sorry, we were just having a little-- 736 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,422 Um, so what is going on tonight, then? 737 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:49,080 We're gonna do a special interview with you out there, 738 00:25:49,166 --> 00:25:52,126 and we have to promote Dark Harbor. 739 00:25:52,208 --> 00:25:53,628 - [Romesh] Okay. - [Chuck] Yeah, because that's 740 00:25:53,709 --> 00:25:55,539 connected to what this is. 741 00:25:55,625 --> 00:25:58,285 But you can still talk about what we're gonna do for you 742 00:25:58,375 --> 00:26:00,325 to get you--everybody should know who you are. 743 00:26:00,417 --> 00:26:01,287 So I just give this a plug, give me a plug, basically. 744 00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:03,375 - [Chuck] Right. - Okay. 745 00:26:03,458 --> 00:26:05,998 I wanna take the footage and I wanna 746 00:26:06,083 --> 00:26:08,673 play it all through Southern California. 747 00:26:08,750 --> 00:26:10,080 That's where the money is. 748 00:26:10,166 --> 00:26:11,786 That's ama-- thank you very much. 749 00:26:11,875 --> 00:26:13,245 So that's what we're doing tonight? 750 00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:14,133 - Right, right. - [Romesh] Oh, wow. 751 00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:19,038 ♪♪♪ 752 00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:21,285 Hey, everyone, I'm here with Romesh. 753 00:26:21,375 --> 00:26:23,325 - How are you doing tonight? - Uh, very good, thank you. 754 00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:25,287 I wanna know, what are you known for 755 00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:26,995 here at Dark Harbor? 756 00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:30,543 Uh, well, I'm just here sort of enjoying Dark Harbor 757 00:26:30,625 --> 00:26:31,995 and sort of seeing what it's about. 758 00:26:32,083 --> 00:26:33,133 But I'm actually a comedian from the UK. 759 00:26:33,208 --> 00:26:35,288 I'm doing a stand-up comedy show at the Greek Theatre 760 00:26:35,375 --> 00:26:37,875 on the 21st of December. 761 00:26:37,959 --> 00:26:39,169 - [Ben] You got on TV. - Yeah. 762 00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:42,830 I mean, it's not the way that I thought it was gonna go down. 763 00:26:42,917 --> 00:26:44,577 - Are you gonna have a mask? - [man whooshing] 764 00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:46,747 - A mask or... - [Romesh] Rags delivered. 765 00:26:46,834 --> 00:26:48,714 It's a little bit sticky because they thought 766 00:26:48,792 --> 00:26:51,082 I was involved with Dark Harbor in some way as, 767 00:26:51,166 --> 00:26:54,326 like, a horror thing, but I plugged my show. 768 00:26:54,417 --> 00:26:57,037 Rags has given me 769 00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:59,665 the biggest coverage that I've got so far, 770 00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:03,130 so I'm satisfied with the result. 771 00:27:03,208 --> 00:27:05,248 ♪ upbeat news broadcast music ♪ 772 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,793 ♪ wacky music ♪ 773 00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:08,535 Hey, everyone, my name is Kiyra Lynn, 774 00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:09,995 and right now, I'm here at the Queen Mary 775 00:27:10,083 --> 00:27:12,633 - for their Dark Harbor event... - [whistling, whooshing] 776 00:27:12,709 --> 00:27:14,669 ...celebrating Halloween. 777 00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:17,040 You absolutely need to come and check this out. 778 00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:20,995 I got a chance to speak with some of the event ambassadors. 779 00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:21,543 Let's take a look. 780 00:27:21,625 --> 00:27:23,915 I am the Dragon Lady. 781 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,540 [hammer tapping] 782 00:27:25,625 --> 00:27:27,325 The Wolf Man. 783 00:27:27,417 --> 00:27:28,707 I'm Romesh Ranganathan. 784 00:27:28,792 --> 00:27:29,542 One, two, three. 785 00:27:29,625 --> 00:27:32,705 - [stapler clicks] - Oh! [laughs] 786 00:27:32,792 --> 00:27:36,042 Can you give me the best scream? 787 00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:38,995 [screaming] 788 00:27:41,917 --> 00:27:42,997 Absolute prick. 789 00:27:43,083 --> 00:27:46,753 ♪ Strange U's "Bullet Proof Mustache" playing ♪ 790 00:27:46,834 --> 00:27:49,504 ♪♪♪ 791 00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:51,963 ♪ Twelve little simians jumping upon the bed ♪ 792 00:27:52,041 --> 00:27:54,831 ♪ One fell the fuck off, landed, and bumped his head ♪ 793 00:27:54,917 --> 00:27:57,877 ♪ His mother called the doctor and this is what he said ♪ 794 00:27:57,959 --> 00:28:00,749 ♪ "Smoke dust till the ambulance runs a red" ♪ 795 00:28:00,834 --> 00:28:03,634 ♪ Pandora, opening up the damn box ♪ 796 00:28:03,709 --> 00:28:06,379 ♪ Dash a whale in the ocean like John Hancock ♪ 797 00:28:06,458 --> 00:28:08,748 ♪ Damn, when he's finished grabbing his balls ♪ 798 00:28:08,834 --> 00:28:10,544 ♪ He sat with a half a gram ♪ 799 00:28:10,625 --> 00:28:11,785 ♪ And some British amateur porn ♪ 800 00:28:13,875 --> 00:28:16,785 [bright tone]