1 00:00:01,229 --> 00:00:03,813 [bright tone] 2 00:00:04,688 --> 00:00:06,062 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 3 00:00:06,146 --> 00:00:07,604 ♪ Whoa, yeah ♪ 4 00:00:07,688 --> 00:00:09,271 ♪♪♪ 5 00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:11,980 ♪ Yo, all over the globe we stay movin' ♪ 6 00:00:12,062 --> 00:00:13,479 ♪ Take flight, touch down ♪ 7 00:00:13,563 --> 00:00:14,479 ♪ Grab the blueprint ♪ 8 00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:16,855 ♪ Stay' alive, don't need 40 winks ♪ 9 00:00:16,938 --> 00:00:18,104 ♪ I can barely afford something ♪ 10 00:00:18,187 --> 00:00:20,646 ♪ Yeah, I'm formulating this ♪ 11 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,604 [Romesh] We're back at the hotel. 12 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,354 Leesa and the kids have gone back to England. 13 00:00:24,438 --> 00:00:26,271 So we are in a situation now 14 00:00:26,354 --> 00:00:28,771 where I can't really afford to be forking out 15 00:00:28,855 --> 00:00:31,187 for a big house. 16 00:00:31,271 --> 00:00:32,813 You know, it's crunch time now. 17 00:00:32,896 --> 00:00:34,813 The Greek show is ten days away. 18 00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:37,271 I've just got to really go balls out 19 00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:39,730 and get as many tickets sold as I can, 20 00:00:39,813 --> 00:00:41,062 which at this stage, 21 00:00:41,146 --> 00:00:43,896 if it was even 20 percent of tickets 22 00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:44,813 would be a fucking miracle. 23 00:00:44,896 --> 00:00:47,104 ♪ playful music ♪ 24 00:00:47,187 --> 00:00:49,396 I want us to think about ideas 25 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,479 of how to just give the show the final push. 26 00:00:52,563 --> 00:00:53,604 - Mm-hmm. - Do you know what I mean? 27 00:00:53,688 --> 00:00:54,980 Mm. 28 00:00:55,062 --> 00:00:56,646 I've been talking to my publicist, 29 00:00:56,730 --> 00:01:00,896 and she suggested I could think about doing something, 30 00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:02,730 almost like a stunt or so--something 31 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,479 that gets people interested, you know what I mean? 32 00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:08,146 You know, ideally like a story that goes viral or... 33 00:01:08,229 --> 00:01:09,896 - So I've got this. - [Shanthi] Yeah. 34 00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:12,187 I throw it to you, you come up with an idea, okay? 35 00:01:12,271 --> 00:01:13,604 That's how we're gonna do it, and we throw it to each other. 36 00:01:13,688 --> 00:01:16,312 - [Shanthi] Okay. - Okay, my idea is 37 00:01:16,396 --> 00:01:17,980 running down the street with a billboard on. 38 00:01:18,062 --> 00:01:20,396 We'll just do quick ideas. 39 00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:23,271 Uh, when I went to the Sri Lankan restaurant, 40 00:01:23,354 --> 00:01:24,896 there's a lot of people come there. 41 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:26,354 [Romesh] Okay. 42 00:01:26,438 --> 00:01:28,104 So I would love to go to that restaurant 43 00:01:28,187 --> 00:01:29,021 and put pamphlets or flyers or... 44 00:01:29,104 --> 00:01:31,730 - [Romesh] Okay. - Yeah? 45 00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:36,688 [Rags] Have you ever seen, like, in Sri Lanka and all, 46 00:01:36,771 --> 00:01:38,521 where the candidate would go in a van 47 00:01:38,604 --> 00:01:40,563 and say, "Vote for me, vote for me," 48 00:01:40,646 --> 00:01:42,146 and go around in a van? 49 00:01:42,229 --> 00:01:44,438 I'm just thinking something in that sort of line. 50 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,771 All right, fine, I'll put--I'll put it down. 51 00:01:46,855 --> 00:01:48,771 I don't--but, uh-- by the way, I'm not 52 00:01:48,855 --> 00:01:50,563 saying that I'm definitely doing any of this. 53 00:01:50,646 --> 00:01:53,354 You promise me that you will put-put this into action 54 00:01:53,438 --> 00:01:54,688 instead of writing it down. 55 00:01:54,771 --> 00:01:55,855 I literally just said the opposite. 56 00:01:55,938 --> 00:01:56,646 Yeah, I didn't listen then. 57 00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:58,521 The second before you said that. 58 00:01:58,604 --> 00:01:59,187 - [Shanthi] Okay. - A moving billboard. 59 00:01:59,271 --> 00:02:01,104 How does that sound to you? 60 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,771 Are you pitching the van idea again? 61 00:02:03,855 --> 00:02:06,354 [Shanthi] I am--I am going to see my cousin. 62 00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:08,062 This is--again, this is Sri Lankan. 63 00:02:08,146 --> 00:02:10,021 I'm just gonna put "times two" 64 00:02:10,104 --> 00:02:12,062 by your initial Sri Lankan idea. 65 00:02:12,146 --> 00:02:14,938 Run around naked with billboard one side. 66 00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:17,229 Okay, but again, this is the idea we've already got. 67 00:02:17,312 --> 00:02:17,688 But run around naked. It's a new idea. 68 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,396 Okay, Mum. 69 00:02:20,479 --> 00:02:22,730 [Shanthi] Instead of you standing with a billboard, 70 00:02:22,813 --> 00:02:26,312 I would love to go and approach that Sri Lankan people. 71 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,396 Mm-hmm. 72 00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:29,187 [Romesh] What I was expecting 73 00:02:29,271 --> 00:02:30,396 was, we just come up with too many ideas 74 00:02:30,479 --> 00:02:31,521 that we can't even process. 75 00:02:31,604 --> 00:02:32,730 What happened was, 76 00:02:32,813 --> 00:02:33,938 we came up with three ideas 77 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,980 and played a game of catch while we were repeating them. 78 00:02:36,062 --> 00:02:38,896 Rags, I'll try you. Go. 79 00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,521 Let's do it. 80 00:02:40,604 --> 00:02:42,604 Okay, that's not an idea, though, is it? 81 00:02:44,396 --> 00:02:46,062 This is not going to work. 82 00:02:46,146 --> 00:02:48,187 No, it's been very useful. 83 00:02:48,271 --> 00:02:51,271 ♪ piano arpeggios ♪ 84 00:02:51,354 --> 00:02:56,229 ♪♪♪ 85 00:02:56,312 --> 00:02:57,563 [Rags] I'm going to 86 00:02:57,646 --> 00:03:00,604 actually show you something really exciting, mate. 87 00:03:00,688 --> 00:03:02,646 [Romesh] All right. All right. 88 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,938 ♪ playful music ♪ 89 00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:05,938 Ta-da. 90 00:03:06,021 --> 00:03:08,354 Oh, my God. 91 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,688 - Surprise. - This is amazing. 92 00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,271 [Romesh] When we were talking about ideas 93 00:03:12,354 --> 00:03:13,771 and you said maybe you could do a van... 94 00:03:13,855 --> 00:03:14,688 - [Rags] Yeah. - [Romesh] ...you had already 95 00:03:14,771 --> 00:03:16,396 - arranged this. - [Rags] You like it? 96 00:03:16,479 --> 00:03:16,938 [Romesh] I love it. 97 00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:19,730 What the fuck is this? 98 00:03:19,813 --> 00:03:20,604 It is a glass box. 99 00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:22,855 No, I know that, but what I mean is, 100 00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:24,479 why is it on the back of this truck? 101 00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:26,187 Well, you're gonna get in there. 102 00:03:26,229 --> 00:03:28,021 I'm gonna take you for a spin. 103 00:03:28,146 --> 00:03:29,521 Then pretty much telling the people that-- 104 00:03:29,604 --> 00:03:30,271 - Okay, okay. - You know what I mean? 105 00:03:30,354 --> 00:03:32,312 I knew that there had to be 106 00:03:32,396 --> 00:03:33,688 - a fuckup somewhere. - Why? 107 00:03:33,771 --> 00:03:35,354 I am not getting in a box, Rags. 108 00:03:35,438 --> 00:03:37,479 If we would've just take that without that 109 00:03:37,563 --> 00:03:38,855 - and you not in it-- - It would be great. 110 00:03:38,938 --> 00:03:40,354 It would be perfect. Yes, correct. 111 00:03:40,438 --> 00:03:41,813 It's like a fucking body without a head, mate. 112 00:03:41,896 --> 00:03:43,438 No, it isn't. 113 00:03:43,521 --> 00:03:44,521 The head's right there on the side of the van. 114 00:03:44,604 --> 00:03:46,438 But you got to be in it 115 00:03:46,521 --> 00:03:47,855 to actually sell the tickets, man. 116 00:03:47,938 --> 00:03:49,229 No, you don't. 117 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,479 You just drive around in the van. 118 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,104 It says "Romesh in America." 119 00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:52,938 - Ticketmaster. - Did you hear what I said? 120 00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:55,229 Thursday, 21 December, Greek Theatre. 121 00:03:55,271 --> 00:03:57,438 My face. This is a fucking terrible idea. 122 00:03:57,521 --> 00:03:59,187 - You're mental. - I'm not mental. 123 00:03:59,229 --> 00:04:00,646 You're mental if you think I'm getting 124 00:04:00,771 --> 00:04:02,104 in a glass box in the back of a fucking truck. 125 00:04:02,229 --> 00:04:03,104 [Rags] What the fuck's wrong with you? 126 00:04:03,229 --> 00:04:04,354 [Ben] You wanted him to think outside the box. 127 00:04:04,438 --> 00:04:06,563 Yeah, and he thought of a box. 128 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:09,730 How many tickets have you fucking sold 129 00:04:09,813 --> 00:04:12,229 so far? 130 00:04:12,354 --> 00:04:13,855 [sighs] 131 00:04:13,938 --> 00:04:16,896 ♪ jazz music ♪ 132 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:18,938 ♪♪♪ 133 00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:20,604 [Rags] Rom, we're all set now. 134 00:04:20,688 --> 00:04:23,438 You gotta sell yourself, okay? 135 00:04:23,521 --> 00:04:25,813 Come on, man, start talking. Just start talking to people. 136 00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:28,187 Hello, mate, the sunglasses on. 137 00:04:28,271 --> 00:04:29,479 Dude, comedy show. 138 00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:32,312 21st of December, Greek Theatre. 139 00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:33,771 You coming? 140 00:04:33,855 --> 00:04:34,688 This is depressing. 141 00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,438 H-here's a couple with a-a camera. 142 00:04:36,521 --> 00:04:38,396 Just make use of that. 143 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,563 Hey, guys, I'm doing a show at the Greek Theatre, 144 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:42,938 21st of December. It's gonna be amazing. 145 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:43,980 Whenever you can, do a-- 146 00:04:44,062 --> 00:04:45,688 Rags, Rags, how fast are you going, man? 147 00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,229 Jesus. 148 00:04:47,312 --> 00:04:48,146 It's working. It's working, mate. 149 00:04:48,229 --> 00:04:49,312 Keep going. 150 00:04:49,396 --> 00:04:50,604 People by the traffic lights, 151 00:04:50,688 --> 00:04:52,479 I'm doing a show at the Greek Theatre 152 00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:54,146 on the 21st of December. 153 00:04:54,229 --> 00:04:55,980 [Ben] You did get a bit of a crowd around it. 154 00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:57,855 Yeah, but they were looking at me like I'm a spectacle. 155 00:04:57,938 --> 00:04:59,730 They weren't going, "Let's go see and his show." 156 00:04:59,813 --> 00:05:01,896 They were like, "Oh, this prick is in a glass box." 157 00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:05,187 Somebody shouted, "Are you the brown pope?" 158 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,771 [Romesh] Okay, can we just go now? 159 00:05:06,855 --> 00:05:09,104 [Rags] Rom, I've gone out of the way 160 00:05:09,187 --> 00:05:09,646 to get this done. 161 00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:11,646 Do your job, okay? 162 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:13,062 Which is selling the tickets. 163 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,021 Let's just go, please. 164 00:05:15,104 --> 00:05:17,980 I am asking to be released from this prison. 165 00:05:18,062 --> 00:05:19,896 I'm not taking the straps off you 166 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:23,771 until we've sold at least 4,000 tickets today. 167 00:05:23,855 --> 00:05:25,312 Rags. Rags. 168 00:05:25,396 --> 00:05:26,521 - Rags. - [Rags] Yes, yes. 169 00:05:26,604 --> 00:05:28,479 [Romesh] I want to go home, Rags. 170 00:05:28,563 --> 00:05:30,813 Rags. I want to go home, Rags. 171 00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:34,646 - Stop acting like you... - Rags, Rags, Rags. 172 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:35,479 [Romesh] I gave it a go, and then I said, 173 00:05:35,563 --> 00:05:37,980 "I don't wanna be in here anymore." 174 00:05:38,062 --> 00:05:39,354 And then he refused to let me out. 175 00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:40,771 Rags, Rags. 176 00:05:40,855 --> 00:05:42,521 [Ben] So what did you do? 177 00:05:42,604 --> 00:05:43,980 [Romesh] I basically got pissed off with him 178 00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:45,980 and started saying nasty things about him 179 00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:47,021 just to piss him off. 180 00:05:47,104 --> 00:05:49,479 Hello, madam, my uncle's driving the van. 181 00:05:49,563 --> 00:05:51,062 He's here illegally. Please let authorities know. 182 00:05:51,146 --> 00:05:53,021 [Rags] Rom. 183 00:05:53,104 --> 00:05:54,479 The man driving this van 184 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,771 recently bought himself a penis pump. 185 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,396 Rom. 186 00:05:57,479 --> 00:05:58,730 The man driving this van likes to go to the beach 187 00:05:58,813 --> 00:05:59,771 and expose himself. 188 00:05:59,855 --> 00:06:01,021 If you don't shut up... 189 00:06:01,104 --> 00:06:03,104 [Romesh] The man driving this van has seven nipples. 190 00:06:03,187 --> 00:06:04,604 He's had two of them removed. 191 00:06:04,688 --> 00:06:06,312 He still has five left. 192 00:06:06,396 --> 00:06:09,354 [Ben] Slightly childish. 193 00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:10,855 Yeah, I mean, it's not the most mature thing I've ever done, 194 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,021 but it's not the least. 195 00:06:12,104 --> 00:06:15,604 People, this man, my nephew-- so-called nephew, 196 00:06:15,688 --> 00:06:19,688 he locked me in the garage every night. 197 00:06:19,771 --> 00:06:21,771 I couldn't even go out to pee. 198 00:06:21,855 --> 00:06:23,604 We had to do that for the safety of the children 199 00:06:23,688 --> 00:06:25,438 in the area. 200 00:06:25,521 --> 00:06:27,730 It was the only way. He's like a pedo werewolf. 201 00:06:27,813 --> 00:06:29,813 [Ben] What's your plan? [stammers] 202 00:06:29,896 --> 00:06:32,146 You haven't really come up with anything that much better yet. 203 00:06:32,229 --> 00:06:34,521 Yes, I have come up with something better: 204 00:06:34,604 --> 00:06:36,438 not being in a box 205 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,396 on the back of a van driving around LA. 206 00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:39,855 There's my idea. 207 00:06:39,938 --> 00:06:40,813 And it's infinitely better than his. 208 00:06:43,021 --> 00:06:44,396 [Ben] Rom, what are you doing? 209 00:06:44,479 --> 00:06:46,312 [Romesh] I'm not-- I'm done with this, mate. 210 00:06:46,396 --> 00:06:48,062 [Ben] It's looking great. 211 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,771 [Romesh] I don't give a shit. 212 00:06:49,855 --> 00:06:51,896 - Rags, I'm going. - You're going? 213 00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:53,855 After spending all this money, mate? 214 00:06:53,938 --> 00:06:56,021 - You know how much it cost us? - I don't care. 215 00:06:56,104 --> 00:06:58,938 - You know how much it cost us? - I don't know. Oh, Jesus. 216 00:06:59,021 --> 00:07:01,813 Thousands of dollars. Get in the bloody car. 217 00:07:01,896 --> 00:07:03,730 My back's hurting. And it's boiling hot. 218 00:07:03,813 --> 00:07:05,229 - [Rags] Honestly, man. - [Romesh] Just go. 219 00:07:05,312 --> 00:07:07,271 Fuck. 220 00:07:07,354 --> 00:07:09,771 All right, enough, bro. 221 00:07:09,855 --> 00:07:10,271 [mumbling indistinctly] 222 00:07:10,354 --> 00:07:11,771 It's a massively... 223 00:07:11,855 --> 00:07:13,855 Do you even know how to drive this thing? 224 00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:17,771 [Romesh] Why are you being like this now? 225 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:18,980 - [tires screech] - [horn honks] 226 00:07:19,062 --> 00:07:23,479 ♪ calm music ♪ 227 00:07:23,563 --> 00:07:26,104 [Ben] Rom, where's-- where's Rags? 228 00:07:26,187 --> 00:07:29,271 We decided we need a bit of time apart, so... 229 00:07:29,354 --> 00:07:30,604 God knows. 230 00:07:30,688 --> 00:07:33,104 [Ben] What's going on? 231 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:37,104 ♪♪♪ 232 00:07:37,187 --> 00:07:39,438 [knocking] 233 00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:41,354 - Hello? - Hello, how are you? 234 00:07:41,438 --> 00:07:42,771 Come in, come in. 235 00:07:42,855 --> 00:07:44,479 - Good, thank you. - Yeah. Come in. 236 00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:46,855 - Hello. - [both] Hi. 237 00:07:46,938 --> 00:07:48,980 Oh, hi. You guys hanging out? 238 00:07:49,062 --> 00:07:50,354 Yeah, yeah. 239 00:07:50,438 --> 00:07:52,479 Love--lovely to see my own people. 240 00:07:52,563 --> 00:07:54,563 - [Romesh] Yeah. - [Shanthi] And, uh... 241 00:07:54,646 --> 00:07:55,980 Did you guys bring all this? 242 00:07:56,062 --> 00:07:56,813 [Shanthi] Lalith did. Lalith did. 243 00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:59,646 Because he own a restaurant here. 244 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:00,646 Oh, yo-you're--the restaurant you went to? 245 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,896 I went. I was telling you all about it. 246 00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:05,855 [Lalith] She had hoppers. She had string hoppers. 247 00:08:05,938 --> 00:08:07,479 Everything she want, I made it for her. 248 00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:08,980 - [laughs] - [Shanthi] I know. 249 00:08:09,062 --> 00:08:10,312 [Lalith] She was going, I want this, I want that." 250 00:08:10,396 --> 00:08:12,021 [laughter] 251 00:08:12,062 --> 00:08:14,730 Um, Mum, could-- do you mind if I have a quick-- 252 00:08:14,813 --> 00:08:16,062 Just, I need to chat to you about something Rags did. 253 00:08:16,187 --> 00:08:17,563 Of course. Excuse me. 254 00:08:17,688 --> 00:08:18,688 - Sure. - [Romesh] Sorry. Thank you. 255 00:08:18,771 --> 00:08:20,771 ♪ lounge music ♪ 256 00:08:20,855 --> 00:08:21,688 [Shanthi] What do you want to talk to me about? 257 00:08:21,771 --> 00:08:23,229 [Romesh] What is going on? 258 00:08:23,312 --> 00:08:25,021 [Shanthi] They're having a big event on Saturday. 259 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:28,229 So I thought this is a good opportunity for you to go 260 00:08:28,312 --> 00:08:31,229 and meet everybody and, you know, 261 00:08:31,312 --> 00:08:32,146 sell more tickets as well. 262 00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:34,646 So... 263 00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:36,062 I want you to come and... 264 00:08:36,146 --> 00:08:38,771 - And do what? - As a guest of honor. 265 00:08:38,855 --> 00:08:40,438 But what does a guest of honor do? 266 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,229 Nothing. Just sit there. 267 00:08:42,312 --> 00:08:44,396 Meet everybody. Mix with them. 268 00:08:44,479 --> 00:08:45,730 Mingle with them. Talk to them. 269 00:08:45,813 --> 00:08:49,062 Be nice to them. Give them a smile. 270 00:08:49,146 --> 00:08:51,062 - Is anything wrong with that? - Yes. E-everything. 271 00:08:51,146 --> 00:08:53,813 - What do you mean? - Have you told them... 272 00:08:53,896 --> 00:08:55,229 No, I haven't told them anything. 273 00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:56,354 I thought I'll get your permission first. 274 00:08:56,438 --> 00:08:58,396 But I'm asking you, 275 00:08:58,479 --> 00:09:00,104 you will do this for me? 276 00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:02,646 Well, let me just think-- let me think about it. 277 00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:04,271 But you haven't told them? 278 00:09:04,354 --> 00:09:06,730 I haven't told them. Okay? 279 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,938 - Okay. Fine. - Okay. 280 00:09:09,021 --> 00:09:12,438 [Romesh] So, yeah, what exactly is the, uh, event? 281 00:09:12,521 --> 00:09:14,312 - It's Saturday. - Yeah. 282 00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:17,604 Uh, it's all cultural Sri Lankan, uh, event. 283 00:09:17,688 --> 00:09:18,938 Live music. 284 00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:21,604 Band--live band is gonna be there, and, yeah. 285 00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:22,771 Yeah, sounds like it could be a lot of fun. 286 00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:24,980 It is fun, yeah, and by the way, 287 00:09:25,062 --> 00:09:26,896 thank you for agreeing to come there. 288 00:09:28,563 --> 00:09:30,479 Oh, no problem. 289 00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:32,646 No problem. I'd be delighted to come. 290 00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:33,855 [man] If you can, you know, though, 291 00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:36,104 you can, like, do some skit there, 292 00:09:36,187 --> 00:09:39,104 - uh, for the people... - Like, do com-comedy? 293 00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:40,604 Like--yeah. 294 00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,021 Okay, that sounds great. What a lot of surprises. 295 00:09:42,104 --> 00:09:44,479 - [Shanthi] You like it? - [Romesh] Yes. Very happy. 296 00:09:44,563 --> 00:09:46,730 - That's good. There you are. - Yeah. 297 00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:48,813 Come on. [shrieks joyfully] 298 00:09:48,896 --> 00:09:51,062 [laughs] 299 00:09:51,146 --> 00:09:52,021 [Romesh] Mm. 300 00:09:55,396 --> 00:09:57,980 ♪ My head stays spinning like clothes in the laundro ♪ 301 00:09:58,062 --> 00:10:00,479 ♪ Never lost for words, though ♪ 302 00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:01,771 ♪ I got that all on track ♪ 303 00:10:01,855 --> 00:10:03,688 ♪ So you better fall back ♪ 304 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:04,771 ♪ If you don't come correct when you rap ♪ 305 00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:08,604 ♪ Got my lyrics on tap ♪ 306 00:10:08,688 --> 00:10:09,813 [Romesh] Hello, it's Romesh. 307 00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:11,604 What's this about Lupe Fiasco? 308 00:10:11,688 --> 00:10:13,479 Publicist called. 309 00:10:13,563 --> 00:10:14,980 It's looking very likely 310 00:10:15,062 --> 00:10:17,146 that I've got Lupe Fiasco on my podcast. 311 00:10:17,229 --> 00:10:18,229 No, no, no-- I was just gonna say 312 00:10:18,312 --> 00:10:20,354 thank you so much and that I'm really grateful. 313 00:10:20,438 --> 00:10:21,104 I think that would be a great get 314 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,312 for the podcast, so thank you. 315 00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:24,813 I mean, I am genuinely-- I'm not just saying this. 316 00:10:24,896 --> 00:10:25,813 I am massive fan, so that is... 317 00:10:25,896 --> 00:10:28,187 that is pretty incredible. 318 00:10:28,271 --> 00:10:29,813 [Ben] Is that that big a deal? 319 00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:31,354 [Romesh] Yes, it's a massive deal. 320 00:10:31,438 --> 00:10:33,187 Pushes me, pushes tickets. It's great. 321 00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:34,813 I just need to go meet him at his gig, 322 00:10:34,896 --> 00:10:36,813 charm him a bit, and then we're in. 323 00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:38,646 Rom, if this doesn't happen, 324 00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:41,521 do you have a plan B? 325 00:10:41,604 --> 00:10:43,354 I think it will happen. It will happen. 326 00:10:43,438 --> 00:10:45,146 But he's relying on the publicist still. 327 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:49,021 Well, is this worse than being in the back of a van? 328 00:10:49,104 --> 00:10:51,187 Half of the time, he was insulting me 329 00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,354 on the microphone to all these people. 330 00:10:52,438 --> 00:10:54,021 No, I wasn't. 331 00:10:54,104 --> 00:10:55,187 - You called me a... - What were you saying there? 332 00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,938 ...pedo. 333 00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:59,521 What else did he call me? An illegal immigrant. 334 00:10:59,604 --> 00:11:01,354 Seriously, man. 335 00:11:01,438 --> 00:11:03,563 I'm very disappointed in you, calling him all these names. 336 00:11:03,646 --> 00:11:04,521 Be disappointed in him. He's the pedo. 337 00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:06,771 He's not. 338 00:11:07,479 --> 00:11:08,563 I was only messing around anyway. 339 00:11:08,646 --> 00:11:10,730 Shall we celebrate by finishing off our laundry? 340 00:11:10,813 --> 00:11:11,730 Are we ready, are we? 341 00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:13,229 Whose underpants is this? 342 00:11:13,312 --> 00:11:15,521 - Oh, that's mine. Sorry. - Jesus Christ, Rags. 343 00:11:15,604 --> 00:11:16,521 I don't know, somehow it got caught in that. 344 00:11:16,604 --> 00:11:17,730 [Shanthi] Those are very small underpants. 345 00:11:17,813 --> 00:11:20,021 I don't wear this anymore. 346 00:11:20,104 --> 00:11:21,396 I don't know how it got mixed up, but anyway... 347 00:11:21,479 --> 00:11:22,563 You don't know how it got mixed up. 348 00:11:22,646 --> 00:11:24,271 - [laughs] - Seriously. 349 00:11:24,354 --> 00:11:25,354 ♪ I keep pushing mummies ♪ 350 00:11:25,438 --> 00:11:27,396 ♪ Please don't try and tell me nothing ♪ 351 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,062 ♪ You are not my demographic ♪ 352 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:29,896 ♪ I don't care if you say, "Fuck him" ♪ 353 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:32,813 ♪ I'm erratic with my rappin' ♪ 354 00:11:32,896 --> 00:11:34,771 ♪ Give a fuck if you say something about my lyrics ♪ 355 00:11:34,855 --> 00:11:36,312 ♪ I spit lyrics for the nutter showin' nothing ♪ 356 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,396 ♪ I be sittin' here ♪ 357 00:11:38,479 --> 00:11:39,354 - [woman] Hey. - [Romesh] Katie. Hello. 358 00:11:39,438 --> 00:11:41,479 - I'm Romesh. How you doing? - I'm good. 359 00:11:41,563 --> 00:11:43,730 I think you've been speaking to my publicist. 360 00:11:43,813 --> 00:11:45,062 Thank you very much for sorting out a ticket. 361 00:11:45,146 --> 00:11:47,980 - Um, I do a podcast... - Right. 362 00:11:48,062 --> 00:11:50,104 ...called Hip Hop Saved My Life. 363 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,479 It's named after one of Lupe's songs, obviously. 364 00:11:51,563 --> 00:11:55,146 Um, I was wondering if there's any chance I could get a chance 365 00:11:55,229 --> 00:11:55,771 to, like, just ask him 366 00:11:55,855 --> 00:11:57,062 to be on the podcast. 367 00:11:57,146 --> 00:11:59,438 Are you an artist? Do you, like, rap? 368 00:11:59,521 --> 00:12:00,312 I'm really into hip-hop. 369 00:12:00,396 --> 00:12:02,771 Like, I used to do a bit of stuff myself 370 00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:04,062 and things like that, so... 371 00:12:04,146 --> 00:12:05,438 You think you can, like, rap for me? 372 00:12:05,521 --> 00:12:07,438 Uh... 373 00:12:07,521 --> 00:12:08,396 Y'all wanna hear him freestyle? 374 00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:11,187 [woman] Yeah, what-what-what you got? 375 00:12:11,271 --> 00:12:12,354 Shit, you want me to actually do it now? 376 00:12:12,438 --> 00:12:14,062 - Yeah. - Yes! 377 00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:14,938 I can't really rap, so I'm just giving it a go, because... 378 00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:18,104 [man] Spit the bars, my nigga. 379 00:12:18,187 --> 00:12:18,438 [laughter] 380 00:12:18,521 --> 00:12:20,271 Uh... 381 00:12:20,354 --> 00:12:22,229 ♪ My name's Romesh and I'm hot like Tabasco ♪ 382 00:12:22,312 --> 00:12:25,980 ♪ I'm at the Belasco backstage at Lupe Fiasco ♪ 383 00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,312 ♪ I love Lupe, but Lupe don't know me ♪ 384 00:12:28,354 --> 00:12:30,813 ♪ So I'm gonna announce and pronounce my name slowly ♪ 385 00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:33,354 ♪ Romesh Ranganathan, hip-hop is my heaven ♪ 386 00:12:33,438 --> 00:12:35,688 ♪ An Uber driver told me I look like I work in 7-Eleven ♪ 387 00:12:35,813 --> 00:12:37,312 - Bars. - Thank you very much. 388 00:12:37,438 --> 00:12:39,688 ♪ I come rotten like a sheep shaggin' some mutton ♪ 389 00:12:39,771 --> 00:12:41,938 ♪ My style is super memorable, your style is soon forgotten ♪ 390 00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:44,187 ♪ It's not on, I rock on ♪ 391 00:12:44,271 --> 00:12:45,521 ♪ Any track I drop on ♪ 392 00:12:45,604 --> 00:12:48,312 ♪ Scary like a prison guard about to strap his cock on ♪ 393 00:12:48,438 --> 00:12:49,521 ♪ But facing away ♪ 394 00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:52,187 ♪ I come wicked, like the devil's ejaculate ♪ 395 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,688 ♪ The immaculate conception of my form is uncompassionate ♪ 396 00:12:54,771 --> 00:12:57,187 ♪ To mediocrity, hypocrisy, or monotony ♪ 397 00:12:57,271 --> 00:12:58,938 ♪ Stepping to me first in this cypher is false economy ♪ 398 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,855 ♪ Ask your friends about me ♪ 399 00:13:00,938 --> 00:13:02,021 ♪ They'll tell you that I'm the nicest ♪ 400 00:13:02,062 --> 00:13:03,980 ♪ I'm MC Colonel Sanders ♪ 401 00:13:04,062 --> 00:13:05,396 ♪ I've got flavor like 11 herbs and spices ♪ 402 00:13:05,479 --> 00:13:07,980 - [cheering] - [man] Whoo! 403 00:13:08,062 --> 00:13:09,980 [Romesh] Thank you, that's it. That's all I've got. 404 00:13:10,062 --> 00:13:11,396 - [cheers and applause] - Cheers, mate. 405 00:13:11,479 --> 00:13:11,938 [Ben] You were surprisingly good. 406 00:13:12,021 --> 00:13:13,062 [Romesh] Thank you. 407 00:13:13,146 --> 00:13:15,604 [Ben] You were quite lucky that 408 00:13:15,688 --> 00:13:16,771 the venue was called Belasco. 409 00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:18,604 Correct. 410 00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:20,354 Also lucky 411 00:13:20,438 --> 00:13:22,980 that one of my favorite hot sauces is Tabasco. 412 00:13:23,062 --> 00:13:24,771 [Romesh] Thank you. Holy shit. 413 00:13:24,855 --> 00:13:26,438 [laughter] 414 00:13:26,521 --> 00:13:27,771 Oh, shit, what's up, bro? 415 00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:28,604 - How you doing? - [Lupe] What's up, man? 416 00:13:28,688 --> 00:13:30,438 - What's your name? - Romesh. 417 00:13:30,521 --> 00:13:32,146 - Romesh? - Yes, um... 418 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,229 I do a podcast that's named after one of your tunes, 419 00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:35,312 Hip Hop Saved My Life. 420 00:13:35,396 --> 00:13:36,604 Okay, okay. Thank you. 421 00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:37,521 And it would be an absolute honor 422 00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:39,688 if you'd be on it, man. That'd be amazing. 423 00:13:39,771 --> 00:13:42,062 I don't know, man. Um... 424 00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:43,730 I got my mum--uh, my mum was the last guest on it, 425 00:13:43,813 --> 00:13:45,563 to be honest with you, 'cause she likes it. 426 00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:47,062 [laughter] 427 00:13:47,146 --> 00:13:47,855 But she can't really spit, so... 428 00:13:47,938 --> 00:13:50,521 But you can spit, though. 429 00:13:50,604 --> 00:13:52,479 - Uh, well, I gave it a go. - [Lupe] You got some bars. 430 00:13:52,563 --> 00:13:54,187 - You got a little bar. - I used to do a bit, you know. 431 00:13:54,271 --> 00:13:57,312 So look, I jump on on your show. 432 00:13:57,396 --> 00:13:59,771 You come on my show, yeah? 433 00:13:59,855 --> 00:14:01,813 - What, this show? - Yeah, yeah. 434 00:14:01,896 --> 00:14:03,813 I mean, that would be amazing, but I don't know what to say. 435 00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:05,479 That would be amazing. 436 00:14:05,563 --> 00:14:07,312 [applause] 437 00:14:07,396 --> 00:14:08,354 That's mad. 438 00:14:08,438 --> 00:14:09,646 I mean, he dope, right? 439 00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:10,896 - [all] Yeah. - Okay, okay. 440 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:11,646 I'm buzzing, man. That's so good. 441 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,479 Yeah, yeah, I'm up for it, man. 442 00:14:13,563 --> 00:14:14,688 All right, I'll see you up there, then. 443 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,980 - [Lupe] I'll see you up there. - Cheers. All right, cool. 444 00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:18,146 How you feel? 445 00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:19,396 Oh, my God. 446 00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:20,813 [buzzer blares] 447 00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:22,146 [cheers and applause] 448 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:25,062 [Romesh] I'm gonna spit the bars. 449 00:14:25,146 --> 00:14:27,980 He comes on the podcast. 450 00:14:28,062 --> 00:14:29,604 Life is great. 451 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:32,855 It's fucking mad. 452 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:35,271 [crowd stomping] 453 00:14:35,354 --> 00:14:38,354 ♪ calm music ♪ 454 00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:40,563 [sighs] 455 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,688 Oh, hi, how you doing, Rom? 456 00:14:42,771 --> 00:14:43,688 - Not great. - What? What's up? 457 00:14:43,771 --> 00:14:47,604 One of the most embarrassing nights of my life. 458 00:14:47,688 --> 00:14:49,229 What do you mean? 459 00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:51,396 So I'm watching the gig from the side of the stage... 460 00:14:51,479 --> 00:14:52,146 [cheers and applause] 461 00:14:52,229 --> 00:14:54,980 [Lupe] Before I came onstage, 462 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,146 I heard some dude with, like, some weird-ass accent, 463 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,521 like, freestyling, right? 464 00:14:58,604 --> 00:15:00,271 [crowd cheering] 465 00:15:00,354 --> 00:15:02,396 Make some noise for my homey Romesh, y'all. 466 00:15:02,479 --> 00:15:03,021 [cheers and applause] 467 00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:06,104 Is he ready to kill it? 468 00:15:06,187 --> 00:15:08,646 And then he brings me up. 469 00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:10,813 I think I'm gonna start, like, rapping or something. 470 00:15:10,896 --> 00:15:12,396 And then... 471 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:13,521 [sighs] 472 00:15:13,604 --> 00:15:18,479 [all] ♪ If you are what you say you are ♪ 473 00:15:18,563 --> 00:15:20,855 ♪ A superstar ♪ 474 00:15:20,938 --> 00:15:23,604 ♪ Then have no fear ♪ 475 00:15:23,688 --> 00:15:25,438 ♪ The camera's here ♪ 476 00:15:25,521 --> 00:15:27,563 ♪ And the microphones ♪ 477 00:15:27,646 --> 00:15:28,896 My nigga, come on. 478 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:30,062 [all] ♪ They want to know ♪ 479 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:33,479 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 480 00:15:34,146 --> 00:15:35,855 I don't wanna talk about it. 481 00:15:35,938 --> 00:15:37,354 No, look, come on. 482 00:15:37,438 --> 00:15:39,646 So, yeah, wh-what happened after that? 483 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:40,980 Well, just all the people-- 484 00:15:41,062 --> 00:15:42,396 Did he give you the chance to do it? 485 00:15:42,479 --> 00:15:43,563 ♪ Say ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪ 486 00:15:43,646 --> 00:15:47,396 - ♪ Let me hear you say ♪ - ♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪ 487 00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,187 No. 488 00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:50,229 Why would he get you onstage and then, uh--you know. 489 00:15:50,312 --> 00:15:51,730 I don't know. 490 00:15:51,813 --> 00:15:53,855 So I just stood there like a fucking backing dancer 491 00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:54,896 for the whole thing. 492 00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:58,813 ♪ A superstar ♪ 493 00:15:58,896 --> 00:16:01,104 ♪ Then have no fear ♪ 494 00:16:01,187 --> 00:16:04,229 So he-he'd, like--he'll-- 495 00:16:04,312 --> 00:16:06,730 He--I kept thinking he was gonna give me the mic, 496 00:16:06,813 --> 00:16:08,021 but he didn't. 497 00:16:08,104 --> 00:16:09,771 ♪ Like lady who sung "Blue" ♪ 498 00:16:09,855 --> 00:16:11,604 ♪ Go back, whatever you did, you undo ♪ 499 00:16:11,688 --> 00:16:14,479 ♪ Heavy as heaven, the devil on me, two sons too ♪ 500 00:16:16,354 --> 00:16:17,938 Oh, my God. 501 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:20,896 [all] ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 502 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,771 - ♪ Yeah ♪ - [cheers and applause] 503 00:16:22,855 --> 00:16:24,312 And then we didn't even, like... 504 00:16:24,396 --> 00:16:26,438 we didn't even sort out, actually, a date 505 00:16:26,521 --> 00:16:27,855 that we're gonna do the pod-- 506 00:16:27,938 --> 00:16:28,771 He said, "I'll definitely do the podcast." 507 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:32,062 But I don't know how that's gonna happen. 508 00:16:32,146 --> 00:16:34,521 You should've had-had Lupe by the throat on the stage, mate. 509 00:16:34,604 --> 00:16:36,229 How would that have helped? 510 00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:37,896 You should've smacked him in the fucking head. 511 00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:38,980 He can't treat you like that, man. 512 00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:40,771 You are bigger than him. 513 00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:42,229 I'm not bigger than him, Rags. 514 00:16:42,312 --> 00:16:43,104 Well, in the comedy world. 515 00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:45,813 He's not a comedian, is he? 516 00:16:45,896 --> 00:16:46,730 I'm sort of at the point now where I just think, 517 00:16:46,813 --> 00:16:49,563 "What is the point of doing this anymore?" 518 00:16:49,646 --> 00:16:51,438 Are you bloody joking me? 519 00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:53,521 What's the point? We're not getting anywhere. 520 00:16:53,604 --> 00:16:55,521 I'm just pissed off 'cause Leesa and the kids aren't here. 521 00:16:55,604 --> 00:16:58,312 And then I think finally I've got, like, a good thing, 522 00:16:58,396 --> 00:16:59,688 and then it just fucks up. 523 00:16:59,771 --> 00:17:01,312 Rom, we did a good thing yesterday. 524 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:04,896 We don't know what's come out from that. 525 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:07,062 And then Shanthi's got something planned. 526 00:17:07,146 --> 00:17:08,479 So that could work out. 527 00:17:08,563 --> 00:17:09,896 I tell you what. 528 00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,479 I did something special for you. 529 00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:13,688 This was meant to be on the night 530 00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,980 that you're gonna do the stand-up. 531 00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:18,062 I was gonna give it to you motivate you, okay, 532 00:17:18,146 --> 00:17:20,229 before the show. 533 00:17:20,312 --> 00:17:22,312 But I'm gonna show it to you now, man. 534 00:17:22,396 --> 00:17:23,604 [Theo] Go. 535 00:17:23,688 --> 00:17:24,730 Have a look at it. 536 00:17:24,813 --> 00:17:26,312 [Rags] Here we are, mate. 537 00:17:26,396 --> 00:17:27,229 - Tonight's the 21st December. - December! 538 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,604 We are at the Greek Theatre, man. 539 00:17:29,688 --> 00:17:30,688 All right? 540 00:17:30,771 --> 00:17:32,688 What is this? 541 00:17:32,771 --> 00:17:34,354 [Rags] This is our big night, 542 00:17:34,438 --> 00:17:35,855 so what I've done, I've written this 543 00:17:35,938 --> 00:17:37,438 amazing rap for you. 544 00:17:37,521 --> 00:17:38,855 Let's go, Theo, now with the rap. 545 00:17:38,938 --> 00:17:39,980 Okay. 546 00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:42,521 [beatboxing] 547 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:43,855 ♪ Dad, I love you, and you're the best ♪ 548 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:46,312 ♪ That's why you're like Crawley and headed to the-- ♪ 549 00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:48,187 ♪ To the west ♪ 550 00:17:48,271 --> 00:17:49,980 ♪ You look really cool on that billboard ♪ 551 00:17:50,062 --> 00:17:52,646 ♪ I think Uncle Rags deserves an award ♪ 552 00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:54,104 ♪ Like an Oscar or-- ♪ 553 00:17:54,229 --> 00:17:55,354 Do I really have to say this? 554 00:17:55,438 --> 00:17:57,730 [Rags] Go ahead. 555 00:17:57,813 --> 00:17:59,312 ♪ You're the best in-- ♪ 556 00:17:59,396 --> 00:18:01,062 ♪ Best comedian in the UK ♪ 557 00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,688 ♪ Also in Australia and maybe LA ♪ 558 00:18:03,771 --> 00:18:06,688 ♪ You will be awesome, so don't feel blue ♪ 559 00:18:06,771 --> 00:18:09,354 ♪ Maybe I should open the Greek for you ♪ 560 00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:11,980 Just think about it, Rom. I'm serious, man. I can do it. 561 00:18:12,062 --> 00:18:15,312 ♪ But you're the star, so just remember ♪ 562 00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:16,980 ♪ You're gonna sell out the Greek ♪ 563 00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:19,062 ♪ On 21st of December ♪ 564 00:18:19,146 --> 00:18:21,354 - Go, Romesh! - Yay! 565 00:18:21,438 --> 00:18:23,646 [Rags] Isn't it wonderful? 566 00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:24,730 That was amazing. 567 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,604 Yeah? 568 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,479 I mean, it was shit. 569 00:18:27,563 --> 00:18:28,980 - I know I can't rap. - But it was--it was lovely. 570 00:18:29,062 --> 00:18:31,312 - It was very nice. - I love you, man. 571 00:18:31,396 --> 00:18:32,730 - [Romesh] I love you too. - [Rags] Yeah, thank you, bro. 572 00:18:36,062 --> 00:18:38,771 ♪ ominous music ♪ 573 00:18:38,855 --> 00:18:43,646 ♪♪♪ 574 00:18:45,813 --> 00:18:47,646 All right, should we get this shit done, then? 575 00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:49,354 What do you mean, "shit done"? 576 00:18:49,438 --> 00:18:51,312 - I just mean-- - I have organized all this. 577 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,980 Enjoy, okay? Please. 578 00:18:54,062 --> 00:18:55,479 [Ben] So it's only a week to the Greek. 579 00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:57,146 How you feeling? 580 00:18:57,229 --> 00:18:59,521 I'm about to embark on a massive waste of time. 581 00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:01,438 So not great. 582 00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:02,980 - We see how it is. - Yeah? 583 00:19:03,062 --> 00:19:04,146 But leave early. 584 00:19:04,229 --> 00:19:08,062 I'm trying to sell these tickets out for the Greek show. 585 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:10,730 So mingle with them and get friendly and-- 586 00:19:10,813 --> 00:19:11,980 You know what I think? 587 00:19:12,062 --> 00:19:13,646 You talk about immigration issues. 588 00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,730 Because there's all Sri Lankans, right? 589 00:19:15,813 --> 00:19:17,438 And then sell the tickets, mate. 590 00:19:17,521 --> 00:19:18,646 So you want me to just talk about immigration 591 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,104 - and offer the ticket. - Yes. 592 00:19:20,187 --> 00:19:23,354 Maybe sponsor a kid or something. Who knows? 593 00:19:23,438 --> 00:19:25,730 A Sri Lankan kid to come over, you know, like, sign up for-- 594 00:19:25,813 --> 00:19:26,896 [Romesh] Come over where? 595 00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:27,563 To LA. 596 00:19:27,646 --> 00:19:29,604 I'm not adopting a child. 597 00:19:29,688 --> 00:19:31,146 They gotta have a reason to like you. 598 00:19:31,229 --> 00:19:32,229 Yeah, but I'm not-- this is--I'm not-- 599 00:19:32,312 --> 00:19:33,521 Yes, but I'm not selling 600 00:19:33,604 --> 00:19:34,855 advice on how to get, 601 00:19:34,938 --> 00:19:36,062 like, a permanent work status. 602 00:19:36,146 --> 00:19:36,855 No, you're selling your tickets. 603 00:19:36,938 --> 00:19:39,104 - Yes. - Just psych yourself up. 604 00:19:39,187 --> 00:19:41,396 I will do anything for you guys. 605 00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:42,813 Blah, blah, blah. 606 00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:44,896 Just hammer it, mate. Sell the tickets. 607 00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,354 Get the fuck out of here. 608 00:19:46,438 --> 00:19:47,938 Yeah, I'm just not particularly sure 609 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,354 about how effective this is as a promotional tool. 610 00:19:50,438 --> 00:19:52,521 [Rags] What other ideas have you got, man? 611 00:19:52,604 --> 00:19:54,855 You got some other plans? 612 00:19:54,938 --> 00:19:57,187 Uh...no. 613 00:19:57,271 --> 00:19:59,229 [percussive music playing] 614 00:19:59,312 --> 00:20:04,980 ♪♪♪ 615 00:20:05,062 --> 00:20:06,521 [indistinct chatter] 616 00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:08,646 [vocalizes drum rhythm] 617 00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:10,604 [Shanthi] Lovely music, eh? 618 00:20:10,688 --> 00:20:11,730 'Ey! 619 00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:13,146 Hello, hello, how are you? 620 00:20:13,229 --> 00:20:13,688 I'm fine, thank you. 621 00:20:13,771 --> 00:20:14,730 Hello, how are you? 622 00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:17,187 - This is my son Romesh. - Nice to meet you. 623 00:20:17,271 --> 00:20:18,521 There you go. 624 00:20:18,604 --> 00:20:19,813 [joyful shrieking] 625 00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:21,438 [Romesh] I went in, 626 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:22,938 and I sort of wasn't expecting much. 627 00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:25,271 Well, first of all, there are loads more people 628 00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:26,104 than I thought there were gonna be. 629 00:20:26,187 --> 00:20:29,021 So that was a pleasant surprise. 630 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:33,021 Then what tends to happen at these things panned out. 631 00:20:33,104 --> 00:20:34,688 My mum starts dragging me around, 632 00:20:34,771 --> 00:20:36,730 telling people about me, which is fine. 633 00:20:36,813 --> 00:20:39,396 I'm trying to teach him all this culture, and, uh-- 634 00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:40,730 Ask him 635 00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:43,062 what are the Tamil words he know. 636 00:20:43,146 --> 00:20:44,396 Uh... 637 00:20:44,479 --> 00:20:46,521 But then she just sort of 638 00:20:46,604 --> 00:20:49,730 seemed to forget why we were there. 639 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:52,354 You want to learn Tamil? 640 00:20:52,479 --> 00:20:53,813 [woman] I can teach you. 641 00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:55,312 "I love you, Mum." How... 642 00:20:55,396 --> 00:20:56,646 And you can te-- learn from him, in Tamil. 643 00:20:56,771 --> 00:20:58,938 I've got no idea how to say that. 644 00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,312 I don't know any, sorry. I'm very bad. 645 00:21:00,396 --> 00:21:02,646 He will teach you. 646 00:21:02,688 --> 00:21:03,312 [Romesh] She just started going, "Aw, 647 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,438 I just want him to learn 648 00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:06,771 a bit more about culture. 649 00:21:06,813 --> 00:21:08,479 Can you speak in Tamil to him 650 00:21:08,563 --> 00:21:09,646 just so maybe he can learn it?" 651 00:21:09,730 --> 00:21:10,563 As if I can pick up the language 652 00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:12,980 during the course of the afternoon. 653 00:21:13,062 --> 00:21:15,021 Why are you trying to get me Tamil lessons? 654 00:21:15,104 --> 00:21:16,187 Are you joking? 655 00:21:16,271 --> 00:21:17,563 Why not? Why not? 656 00:21:17,646 --> 00:21:19,730 You have been in Sri Lanka for three months. 657 00:21:19,813 --> 00:21:20,730 [Ben] But you don't speak--you don't speak any Tamil, then? 658 00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,479 Well, the main word I know is pundai. 659 00:21:23,563 --> 00:21:24,980 [Ben] What's that mean? 660 00:21:25,062 --> 00:21:27,396 Who teaches you all this dance? 661 00:21:27,479 --> 00:21:28,604 Um... our dancing teacher. 662 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,896 - Or you learn by yourself? - No. 663 00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:33,521 [Shanthi] Yeah, Romesh can--we-- I'll take your number, then. 664 00:21:33,604 --> 00:21:36,563 Then I will contact you, then we'll sort it out from there. 665 00:21:36,646 --> 00:21:38,021 Mum, can I just have a quick word out here? 666 00:21:38,104 --> 00:21:38,730 - [Shanthi] Over there? Okay. - Yeah. 667 00:21:38,813 --> 00:21:40,521 Lovely to meet you. Take care. 668 00:21:40,604 --> 00:21:42,146 Nice to meet you. 669 00:21:42,229 --> 00:21:44,062 [Romesh] Mum, you do realize that the Greek show, 670 00:21:44,146 --> 00:21:46,646 which is basically the most important show of my career, 671 00:21:46,730 --> 00:21:48,271 is less than a week away, right? 672 00:21:48,354 --> 00:21:49,021 Yeah. 673 00:21:49,104 --> 00:21:51,604 This is utterly pointless, Mum. 674 00:21:51,688 --> 00:21:53,271 You've gone out of control. 675 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:55,563 Just, "Oh, darling, this, darling, this. 676 00:21:55,646 --> 00:21:57,021 Watch him speak Tamil. He can dance..." 677 00:21:57,104 --> 00:21:58,521 I said, "Say something in Tamil 678 00:21:58,604 --> 00:21:59,855 to the gentleman." 679 00:21:59,938 --> 00:22:01,312 You go, "Mm, I don't know anything." 680 00:22:01,396 --> 00:22:02,104 Because I only know rude words. 681 00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:02,855 What do you want me to say to him? 682 00:22:02,938 --> 00:22:04,896 Why did you learn rude words? 683 00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:06,521 Because that's the best words to learn. 684 00:22:06,604 --> 00:22:08,730 That's how you always start learning a language. 685 00:22:08,813 --> 00:22:09,896 Are you kidding? 686 00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,062 What do you want me to say to him? 687 00:22:11,146 --> 00:22:11,813 "Speak some Tamil." "Pundai." 688 00:22:11,896 --> 00:22:14,229 [stammers] Don't say that. 689 00:22:14,312 --> 00:22:15,855 I'm just saying, is that what you want me to say? 690 00:22:15,938 --> 00:22:16,563 - You know what does it mean? - What? 691 00:22:16,646 --> 00:22:20,271 The lady's thing that is. 692 00:22:20,354 --> 00:22:22,312 This is what you learn in Sri Lanka for three months? 693 00:22:22,396 --> 00:22:25,229 Well, I learned that early on, and then I just kept saying it. 694 00:22:25,312 --> 00:22:29,146 You-you--it's my fault that I didn't teach you the language. 695 00:22:29,229 --> 00:22:30,271 - Correct. - Yeah. 696 00:22:30,354 --> 00:22:31,730 I'm only doing my best, 697 00:22:31,813 --> 00:22:33,563 here and there, for you to learn 698 00:22:33,646 --> 00:22:35,354 the culture and the language. 699 00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:36,229 We're not promoting the Tamil. 700 00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:37,771 Have faith in this, Romesh, please. 701 00:22:37,855 --> 00:22:40,354 - Be grateful. - I'm grateful. 702 00:22:40,479 --> 00:22:42,730 But I'm just saying, 703 00:22:42,813 --> 00:22:44,771 this is not a good way to sell tickets. 704 00:22:44,855 --> 00:22:46,563 Come on, let's go. 705 00:22:46,646 --> 00:22:47,688 Time for your speech. Come on. 706 00:22:47,771 --> 00:22:49,229 What speech? 707 00:22:49,312 --> 00:22:50,229 You're going to give a speech, aren't you? 708 00:22:50,312 --> 00:22:53,021 I'm not doing a speech, pundai, okay? 709 00:22:53,104 --> 00:22:53,604 Oh, my God, Romesh. 710 00:22:53,688 --> 00:22:56,229 [indistinct chatter] 711 00:22:56,312 --> 00:22:57,604 [feedback whines] 712 00:22:57,688 --> 00:22:59,563 Hello, everybody. 713 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:01,104 [applause] 714 00:23:01,187 --> 00:23:03,312 We wanna thank you all for coming. 715 00:23:03,396 --> 00:23:06,396 And we wanna give a very warm welcome 716 00:23:06,479 --> 00:23:10,563 to Shanthi, Romesh, and Rags to LA. 717 00:23:10,646 --> 00:23:12,938 This is our LA gang. Come on, everybody. 718 00:23:13,021 --> 00:23:15,563 [cheers and applause] 719 00:23:15,646 --> 00:23:17,104 [Rags] Um... 720 00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:18,187 the reason we're here, actually, 721 00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:21,354 is just to--you know, there is always these 722 00:23:21,438 --> 00:23:22,604 immigration issues with migrants, right? 723 00:23:22,688 --> 00:23:25,312 Is that correct? 724 00:23:25,396 --> 00:23:27,604 You know, like, I mean, look at your president now. 725 00:23:27,688 --> 00:23:29,479 I mean, he want to shut everything down. 726 00:23:29,563 --> 00:23:30,521 You know what I mean? 727 00:23:30,604 --> 00:23:31,813 So... [laughs] 728 00:23:31,896 --> 00:23:33,479 So, guys, 729 00:23:33,563 --> 00:23:35,062 - we know all about... - What is he doing? 730 00:23:35,146 --> 00:23:36,855 ...how difficult it is for immigrants. 731 00:23:36,938 --> 00:23:38,771 And I actually had, you know, 732 00:23:38,855 --> 00:23:41,354 a bit of a chat with Rom, 733 00:23:41,438 --> 00:23:43,521 and he's also very passionate about this. 734 00:23:43,604 --> 00:23:45,021 Is that he comes in here 735 00:23:45,104 --> 00:23:47,021 like an ambassador for the immigrants. 736 00:23:47,104 --> 00:23:49,438 - How's that? - [cheers and applause] 737 00:23:49,521 --> 00:23:51,229 - You know what I mean? - Mum, Mum, Mum. 738 00:23:51,312 --> 00:23:53,688 Like, he's here, man, to support us and help us. 739 00:23:53,771 --> 00:23:55,479 And I'm gonna support this guy. 740 00:23:55,563 --> 00:23:58,104 And we're gonna make sure every immigrant who comes 741 00:23:58,187 --> 00:23:59,688 whether by boat or jumping over the wall 742 00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,813 or whatever they do, 743 00:24:01,896 --> 00:24:03,021 they are most welcome in LA. 744 00:24:03,104 --> 00:24:05,688 - [cheers and applause] - All right? 745 00:24:05,771 --> 00:24:07,730 [Ben] I mean, Rags was incredible, wasn't he? 746 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:10,312 I-I very much enjoyed Rags' speech, 747 00:24:10,396 --> 00:24:11,271 for the first sort of tenth of it. 748 00:24:11,354 --> 00:24:14,479 This country is built by immigrants. 749 00:24:14,563 --> 00:24:16,396 It's not 750 00:24:16,479 --> 00:24:20,104 the Native Indians who run this country, man. 751 00:24:20,187 --> 00:24:21,521 And also is Trump. 752 00:24:21,604 --> 00:24:23,271 He comes from--where is it? 753 00:24:23,354 --> 00:24:25,438 Like, his background is from Germany or something. 754 00:24:25,521 --> 00:24:26,980 - [man] Boo! - You know what I mean? 755 00:24:27,062 --> 00:24:29,146 Boo, Nazi stuff. You know what I mean? 756 00:24:29,229 --> 00:24:30,896 - No, I don't mean that, guys. - Oh, my God. 757 00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:33,771 I mean, arguably he got slightly carried away. 758 00:24:33,855 --> 00:24:35,021 I tell you what. 759 00:24:35,104 --> 00:24:36,813 We are here to show it to him 760 00:24:36,896 --> 00:24:38,229 that immigrants are gonna stick together 761 00:24:38,312 --> 00:24:41,771 and we are gonna win this war, all right? 762 00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:44,896 And Rom is gonna take a big part in that, 763 00:24:44,980 --> 00:24:48,104 and he's gonna help all of you. 764 00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:50,062 Okay, guys? 765 00:24:50,146 --> 00:24:51,771 [Romesh] I'm watching that, 766 00:24:51,855 --> 00:24:52,688 and I think, "Holy shit, that's incredible." 767 00:24:52,771 --> 00:24:55,563 Then Mum steps up, 768 00:24:55,646 --> 00:24:57,604 and I think, "How's she gonna top this?" 769 00:24:57,688 --> 00:24:59,312 [Shanthi] Hi, everybody. 770 00:24:59,396 --> 00:25:00,062 I'm going to ask you, 771 00:25:00,146 --> 00:25:01,688 all of you, to do me a favor. 772 00:25:01,771 --> 00:25:04,438 I'm begging you, actually. 773 00:25:04,521 --> 00:25:05,730 And please take up-- take your-- 774 00:25:05,813 --> 00:25:08,855 all your mobile phone out 775 00:25:08,938 --> 00:25:11,438 and, uh, buy a ticket. 776 00:25:11,521 --> 00:25:13,855 It's, uh--what's it, Romesh? That... 777 00:25:13,938 --> 00:25:15,187 Ticketmaster. 778 00:25:15,271 --> 00:25:18,187 Ticketmaster.com. 779 00:25:18,271 --> 00:25:19,896 [Rags] Come on, let's do it. 780 00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:21,730 Let's do it, come on, come on. Please. 781 00:25:21,813 --> 00:25:23,438 ♪ heroic music ♪ 782 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:27,438 [Romesh] Mum basically stepped it up. 783 00:25:27,521 --> 00:25:29,438 And she did it in the only way she knows how, 784 00:25:29,521 --> 00:25:31,604 which was to force them to buy tickets immediately. 785 00:25:31,688 --> 00:25:34,438 ♪♪♪ 786 00:25:34,521 --> 00:25:36,104 I'm just thinking, "Holy shit, 787 00:25:36,187 --> 00:25:37,438 I've done all this radio stuff, 788 00:25:37,521 --> 00:25:38,396 I've done podcast stuff, 789 00:25:38,479 --> 00:25:40,271 done, like, printed it everywhere, 790 00:25:40,354 --> 00:25:42,896 and she smashes it out of the park 791 00:25:42,980 --> 00:25:45,771 by just forcing people to buy a ticket." 792 00:25:45,855 --> 00:25:47,271 She's like the Pied Piper of Sri Lankans. 793 00:25:47,354 --> 00:25:51,146 Lovely to meet you all. Thank you so much. 794 00:25:51,229 --> 00:25:54,479 [cheers and applause] 795 00:25:54,563 --> 00:25:56,062 Well, I've got-- I've gotta say... 796 00:25:56,146 --> 00:25:57,229 - Yeah? - ...I am actually 797 00:25:57,312 --> 00:25:58,354 quite impressed. 798 00:25:58,438 --> 00:26:00,146 - You are? - Yeah. 799 00:26:00,229 --> 00:26:01,354 I felt like the German people might have an issue 800 00:26:01,438 --> 00:26:04,688 with some of what you said, but apart from that, very good. 801 00:26:04,771 --> 00:26:05,604 Based on the fact that you pretty much forced people 802 00:26:05,688 --> 00:26:07,479 to buy tickets, 803 00:26:07,563 --> 00:26:10,187 I think it's probably our most successful sales day yet. 804 00:26:10,271 --> 00:26:10,813 Because we probably sold about 40 tickets 805 00:26:10,896 --> 00:26:11,980 just off the back of... 806 00:26:12,062 --> 00:26:14,146 - 40 or 50? - ...what you did, yeah. 807 00:26:14,229 --> 00:26:15,521 - So well done. - That's good. 808 00:26:15,604 --> 00:26:16,438 - Thanks. - [Shanthi] Thank you. 809 00:26:16,521 --> 00:26:18,938 - But you did make me think. - Yeah. 810 00:26:19,021 --> 00:26:21,563 That whole sort of immigration angle, 811 00:26:21,646 --> 00:26:23,521 people did get passionate about it. 812 00:26:23,604 --> 00:26:24,438 [Romesh] As it turns out, 813 00:26:24,521 --> 00:26:27,354 being here has given me the big idea 814 00:26:27,438 --> 00:26:29,021 that I need. 815 00:26:29,104 --> 00:26:30,855 - [Ben] To promote the show? - Correct. 816 00:26:30,938 --> 00:26:32,104 It's almost like 817 00:26:32,187 --> 00:26:33,146 they're gonna come to the show 818 00:26:33,229 --> 00:26:35,604 because they feel like we're a cause. 819 00:26:35,688 --> 00:26:37,521 What if 820 00:26:37,604 --> 00:26:42,688 we made the promises of-of-of, like, getting a cause together 821 00:26:42,771 --> 00:26:45,938 but we actually delivered on those promises? 822 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:48,229 Basically, I'm thinking I need an idea 823 00:26:48,312 --> 00:26:50,479 that goes big, goes viral, 824 00:26:50,563 --> 00:26:53,688 gets me on the national TV, gets coverage from the press. 825 00:26:53,771 --> 00:26:55,104 And I'm thinking, "Well, what is 826 00:26:55,187 --> 00:26:56,479 the hottest kind of immigration-related topic 827 00:26:56,563 --> 00:26:58,771 today?" 828 00:26:58,855 --> 00:26:59,688 And that is the Mexican border wall. 829 00:26:59,771 --> 00:27:03,563 So my idea 830 00:27:03,646 --> 00:27:05,563 is, we go down to the border, 831 00:27:05,646 --> 00:27:07,021 we build the wall, 832 00:27:07,104 --> 00:27:09,062 and then we knock the prick down 833 00:27:09,146 --> 00:27:10,229 as a protest. 834 00:27:10,312 --> 00:27:11,646 [Ben] Hold on, are you saying 835 00:27:11,730 --> 00:27:13,187 you're putting the success of the Greek 836 00:27:13,271 --> 00:27:16,229 and your future career on building a wall? 837 00:27:16,312 --> 00:27:17,062 Yeah. 838 00:27:17,146 --> 00:27:19,813 I'm gonna build Trump's wall. 839 00:27:19,896 --> 00:27:21,271 - [Rags] Oh, my God. - [Shanthi] Oh! 840 00:27:21,354 --> 00:27:22,396 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 841 00:27:22,479 --> 00:27:24,104 ♪ Life is full of setbacks and knock backs ♪ 842 00:27:24,187 --> 00:27:26,771 ♪ Snot rags and drop backs ♪ 843 00:27:26,855 --> 00:27:28,229 ♪ Dogs, rats, and bobcats ♪ 844 00:27:28,354 --> 00:27:29,104 ♪ And Grotbags in top hats ♪ 845 00:27:29,187 --> 00:27:31,396 ♪ Rock boats and stop tracks ♪ 846 00:27:31,521 --> 00:27:32,229 ♪ Shot wraps like hotcakes ♪ 847 00:27:32,354 --> 00:27:34,688 ♪ Hot stacks in a stock tape ♪ 848 00:27:34,771 --> 00:27:36,271 ♪ With a blocked nose and a hot plate ♪ 849 00:27:36,354 --> 00:27:38,104 ♪ Head spins from my whippings ♪ 850 00:27:38,187 --> 00:27:39,646 ♪ Dead things on my bedsprings ♪ 851 00:27:39,730 --> 00:27:40,730 ♪ Red rings round the good stuff ♪ 852 00:27:40,813 --> 00:27:43,062 ♪ And I puff piff till my breath stinks ♪ 853 00:27:43,146 --> 00:27:44,604 ♪ Put it big bold in the text print ♪ 854 00:27:44,688 --> 00:27:46,187 ♪ Let's drink to the next link ♪ 855 00:27:46,271 --> 00:27:48,187 ♪ We care not what the rest think ♪ 856 00:27:48,271 --> 00:27:49,688 ♪ And we kill shit till it's extinct ♪ 857 00:27:49,771 --> 00:27:54,354 ♪♪♪ 858 00:27:54,438 --> 00:27:57,354 [bright tone]