1 00:00:01,187 --> 00:00:04,146 [bright tone] 2 00:00:05,688 --> 00:00:08,646 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 3 00:00:08,730 --> 00:00:10,604 ♪♪♪ 4 00:00:10,688 --> 00:00:12,855 ♪ Do yourself a favor, be your own boss ♪ 5 00:00:12,938 --> 00:00:15,688 ♪ Make your own moves or it be your own loss ♪ 6 00:00:16,479 --> 00:00:17,938 [Romesh] This is the week that I ramp things up. 7 00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:19,938 I've hired a publicist. 8 00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:23,604 She suggested lots of different bits and pieces I could do. 9 00:00:23,688 --> 00:00:25,229 All of those things cost money. 10 00:00:25,312 --> 00:00:26,438 [Ben] So money is becoming an issue? 11 00:00:26,521 --> 00:00:30,980 [Romesh] Well, I am paying for everybody to be here. 12 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,771 If they don't reduce their expenditure, 13 00:00:33,855 --> 00:00:35,146 I'm actually gonna have to sell one of them. 14 00:00:37,062 --> 00:00:39,604 I think it'll be Charlie. He's the cutest. 15 00:00:39,688 --> 00:00:41,771 Can fetch a good price. Market price. 16 00:00:43,021 --> 00:00:44,229 As long as they don't tell me what they're doing to him, 17 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:45,229 I don't give a shit. 18 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,187 Out of sight, out of mind, 19 00:00:46,271 --> 00:00:47,187 do you know what I mean? 20 00:00:49,104 --> 00:00:50,146 - I spoke to a publicist. - Yeah. 21 00:00:50,229 --> 00:00:52,563 And she said I need to think about doing, 22 00:00:52,646 --> 00:00:54,312 like, a YouTube cam-- 23 00:00:54,396 --> 00:00:55,604 like an advert campaign. I-- 24 00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:56,980 How much you talking? 25 00:00:57,062 --> 00:00:59,896 To get us really moving, publicity-wise, 26 00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:01,855 you're looking at about $50,000. 27 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,688 [Ben] Are you putting any of your own money into that? 28 00:01:03,771 --> 00:01:05,354 I've already spent too much money, 29 00:01:05,438 --> 00:01:08,312 so I can't now spend another $50,000 on this, no. 30 00:01:08,396 --> 00:01:10,354 So I have to find a way of raising the money. 31 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,021 You heard of Craiglist, right? 32 00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:14,104 - Yes. - Know what you got to do? 33 00:01:14,187 --> 00:01:14,896 You got to put a ad in there, mate. 34 00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:16,938 And start working for that money. 35 00:01:17,021 --> 00:01:19,146 I mean, what sort of jobs do you think 36 00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:20,479 - we're gonna be getting... - Uh... 37 00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:21,479 From Craigslist? 38 00:01:21,563 --> 00:01:22,813 For $50,000? 39 00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:24,604 Yeah, you might get an-- 40 00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:26,104 you know, someone might call us and say, you know, 41 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,396 come and stay with us for the night, 42 00:01:27,479 --> 00:01:28,771 and we might pay a grand or two, 43 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:29,855 you know, who knows? 44 00:01:29,938 --> 00:01:31,312 I mean, isn't that... 45 00:01:31,396 --> 00:01:32,396 quite a weird scenario? 46 00:01:32,479 --> 00:01:33,396 Would you agree to that? 47 00:01:33,479 --> 00:01:35,146 What's wrong with that? 48 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:35,730 It might--they might be just wanting a small massage 49 00:01:35,813 --> 00:01:37,646 or something. 50 00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,396 For $2,000? 51 00:01:39,479 --> 00:01:40,980 Yeah, people pay that, mate. 52 00:01:41,062 --> 00:01:42,563 I've been in situations that I've got paid 53 00:01:42,646 --> 00:01:43,521 fuckin' more than that. 54 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,229 - For a massage? - For no, I don't know. 55 00:01:45,312 --> 00:01:47,855 - I'm gonna ask you a question. - We could get more. 56 00:01:47,938 --> 00:01:49,104 - I'm gonna ask you a question. - What? 57 00:01:49,187 --> 00:01:50,938 Have you, or have you not, 58 00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:53,563 sucked a dick for $2,000? 59 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:54,688 [both laughing] 60 00:01:54,771 --> 00:01:58,479 You bastard. 61 00:01:58,563 --> 00:02:01,688 [chortling] 62 00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:03,688 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 63 00:02:03,771 --> 00:02:09,604 ♪♪♪ 64 00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:12,396 [Romesh] So obviously the Craigslist thing 65 00:02:12,479 --> 00:02:14,646 was a non-starter, but, uh, 66 00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:15,688 I've taken the initiative and gotten myself 67 00:02:15,771 --> 00:02:17,438 a corporate gig. 68 00:02:17,521 --> 00:02:19,563 And that's how I survived for a long-- 69 00:02:19,646 --> 00:02:22,187 for a long stretch as a standup in the UK. 70 00:02:22,271 --> 00:02:22,813 [indistinct chatter] 71 00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:24,062 They're terrible gigs, 72 00:02:24,146 --> 00:02:26,688 but the money's incredible. 73 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,396 So I figure, I need to raise money, 74 00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:30,021 this is the quickest way to do it. 75 00:02:30,104 --> 00:02:31,771 [Ben] What are you-- doing some material? 76 00:02:31,855 --> 00:02:34,021 [Romesh] Uh, well, that's the bonus of this gig. 77 00:02:34,104 --> 00:02:36,062 It doesn't require me to do any material, really. 78 00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:39,312 [Ben] So, what, crowd work, or... 79 00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:43,563 [Romesh] I'm pretending to be Zoltar 80 00:02:43,646 --> 00:02:45,479 from the Tom Hanks film "Big." 81 00:02:47,438 --> 00:02:48,938 [Leah] Hi, guys, I just wanted 82 00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:50,980 to welcome everybody here. 83 00:02:51,062 --> 00:02:53,104 I am Leah with Aklin Entertainment, 84 00:02:53,187 --> 00:02:55,521 and we are so happy that you're here. 85 00:02:55,604 --> 00:02:57,771 We want you to just mingle and have a really good time. 86 00:02:57,855 --> 00:03:01,187 We've got a lot of our tried-and-true clients here. 87 00:03:01,271 --> 00:03:03,771 Food, drinks, entertainment, please just enjoy yourselves. 88 00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:07,980 [applause] 89 00:03:09,187 --> 00:03:09,938 - Hello. - Hi. 90 00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:10,938 I am Zoltar. 91 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:12,646 You are having doubts 92 00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:13,104 about something in your life currently, aren't you? 93 00:03:13,187 --> 00:03:14,938 Zoltar can tell. 94 00:03:15,938 --> 00:03:16,354 No. 95 00:03:18,646 --> 00:03:20,521 Zoltar thinks you just suffered a break-up. 96 00:03:20,604 --> 00:03:21,563 No. 97 00:03:21,646 --> 00:03:23,271 [Ben] I just don't know if you're qualified 98 00:03:23,354 --> 00:03:24,271 to give advice. 99 00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:26,062 Who's qualified as Zoltar? 100 00:03:26,146 --> 00:03:27,479 But, like, you're not, like. a proper medium. 101 00:03:27,563 --> 00:03:29,521 There's no SATs in Zoltar. 102 00:03:29,604 --> 00:03:30,980 There's no college degree in Zoltar. 103 00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:33,271 I'm fucking Zoltar. 104 00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:35,021 If you're brown and you put a turban on, 105 00:03:35,104 --> 00:03:37,312 you've passed the test; you're Zoltar. 106 00:03:37,396 --> 00:03:39,938 Zoltar feels there's a special somebody... 107 00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:42,688 with a D in their name? 108 00:03:43,229 --> 00:03:46,146 Is that correct? S? 109 00:03:48,521 --> 00:03:48,563 N? 110 00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:52,855 R? 111 00:03:52,938 --> 00:03:54,730 - Yes! - Yes. 112 00:03:54,813 --> 00:03:55,980 Zoltar, I'ma be honest. 113 00:03:56,062 --> 00:03:57,479 Two weeks ago, 114 00:03:57,563 --> 00:03:59,896 I got hit on by a Victoria's Secret model. 115 00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:00,813 - Yeah. - Zoltar is impressed. 116 00:04:00,896 --> 00:04:02,146 Very impressed. 117 00:04:02,229 --> 00:04:04,896 Zoltar thinks that you should, uh, 118 00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:05,646 try and smash with the Victoria's Secret model. 119 00:04:05,730 --> 00:04:07,521 Oh, totally. 120 00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:09,646 [Ben] Well, I've never heard any other medium say, 121 00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:11,896 "You should go out and smash someone." 122 00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:14,938 How is it bad advice to tell someone to have sex? 123 00:04:15,438 --> 00:04:18,312 Zoltar thinks that Skyping isn't the same 124 00:04:18,396 --> 00:04:19,980 as being with somebody, 125 00:04:20,062 --> 00:04:21,855 That's true. 126 00:04:21,938 --> 00:04:22,688 And Skype can only take you so far. 127 00:04:22,771 --> 00:04:25,813 A lady has needs. Is Zoltar correct? 128 00:04:27,521 --> 00:04:30,938 - You're not smashing anybody. - No, I'm not. 129 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,646 And you'd like to be smashing more. 130 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,187 I would like to get back to being comfortable, yeah. 131 00:04:34,271 --> 00:04:37,021 Yeah. Fucking go for it, man. Yeah? 132 00:04:37,104 --> 00:04:38,312 - That makes sense. - Yeah. 133 00:04:38,396 --> 00:04:40,021 - Cool. - Thank you. 134 00:04:40,104 --> 00:04:41,354 You're a good guy. All right. I'll see you later. I'm going. 135 00:04:41,438 --> 00:04:43,187 Excuse me, I just got a complaint 136 00:04:43,271 --> 00:04:46,396 that some of your instructions or advice 137 00:04:46,479 --> 00:04:47,730 is provocative. 138 00:04:47,813 --> 00:04:49,187 Like what, really? 139 00:04:49,271 --> 00:04:50,646 And a little bit more sexually inclined 140 00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:51,646 than I'd like at a corporate event, 141 00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:54,146 so can you just keep it more professional? 142 00:04:54,229 --> 00:04:54,980 - Okay, sorry. - Thank you. 143 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:55,479 Sorry about that. 144 00:04:59,146 --> 00:05:01,896 [Romesh] I did start to sort of chill out a bit. 145 00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:05,187 [Ben] I mean, chill out's an understatement, isn't it? 146 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,396 It's just, I was in there for such a long time. 147 00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:08,271 How many times can you tell people, 148 00:05:08,354 --> 00:05:10,730 "Go and get some more action"? 149 00:05:10,813 --> 00:05:13,855 It's probably gonna be all right. It's boring. 150 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:14,813 Are you eating right now? 151 00:05:14,896 --> 00:05:16,563 Somebody left this here. I don't know what-- 152 00:05:16,646 --> 00:05:18,604 It's not break time. It's really unprofessional. 153 00:05:18,688 --> 00:05:21,479 Okay, I was just picking at it. Somebody left this-- 154 00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:23,771 Okay, when there's a break, we'll give you food, water, 155 00:05:23,855 --> 00:05:25,438 everything you need, but not now. 156 00:05:27,104 --> 00:05:27,896 [fork clatters] 157 00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:31,855 ♪ light music ♪ 158 00:05:31,938 --> 00:05:37,104 ♪♪♪ 159 00:05:41,021 --> 00:05:43,146 [Ben] What's going on? 160 00:05:44,354 --> 00:05:45,062 Fuckin' done with it, man. 161 00:05:45,146 --> 00:05:47,438 It's shit, isn't it? 162 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:50,271 It's the shittest thing anybody has ever done. 163 00:05:50,354 --> 00:05:51,688 [Ben] Yeah, but if you leave, do you think 164 00:05:51,771 --> 00:05:52,688 they'll still pay you? 165 00:05:52,771 --> 00:05:54,271 Yes. I'll invoice. 166 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,563 I'm done, though. 167 00:05:56,646 --> 00:05:57,855 - Yeah? - Yeah. 168 00:06:00,062 --> 00:06:01,646 Zoltar predicts... 169 00:06:01,730 --> 00:06:03,187 he's gonna make a massive saving 170 00:06:03,271 --> 00:06:04,896 on his Halloween costume this year. 171 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:07,938 ♪ eerie music ♪ 172 00:06:08,021 --> 00:06:13,146 ♪♪♪ 173 00:06:14,479 --> 00:06:17,604 [man laughs evilly] 174 00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:19,479 ♪♪♪ 175 00:06:19,563 --> 00:06:22,771 Theo, you take Charlie and Alex up there, 176 00:06:22,855 --> 00:06:24,271 and we'll wait for you here, all right? 177 00:06:24,354 --> 00:06:26,688 [Theo] Charlie, Alex, come with me. 178 00:06:26,771 --> 00:06:27,312 [Romesh] Hey, guys, just quickly 179 00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:28,980 while the kids are busy, 180 00:06:29,062 --> 00:06:30,146 can I ask you something? 181 00:06:30,229 --> 00:06:31,646 How much did these costumes cost? 182 00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:34,855 50 bucks. Each. I think. 183 00:06:34,938 --> 00:06:36,146 Each for you, and all of-- and each of the kids as well? 184 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,271 Each. 185 00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:38,855 So that's about 200, $300? 186 00:06:38,938 --> 00:06:40,021 [Rags] Why are you worried about that now? 187 00:06:40,104 --> 00:06:42,396 - Why are you worried? - We're just having fun, mate. 188 00:06:42,479 --> 00:06:43,521 I bought loads of candy as well, for the kids. 189 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,104 Yeah, no, the kids, yeah. 190 00:06:44,187 --> 00:06:46,104 How much did you buy? 191 00:06:46,187 --> 00:06:47,062 Guys, wait a sec-- no, listen. 192 00:06:47,146 --> 00:06:48,563 You spend a load of money. 193 00:06:48,646 --> 00:06:50,479 - "I want to get..." - What's wrong with that? 194 00:06:50,563 --> 00:06:52,021 "...this food, that food." 195 00:06:52,104 --> 00:06:53,855 Then we get takeaway. "Let me just try this one." 196 00:06:53,938 --> 00:06:54,563 And then you try it. "Don't like it." 197 00:06:54,646 --> 00:06:56,646 Then it's just sitting there. 198 00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:58,479 You get carried away with American grocery stores. 199 00:06:58,563 --> 00:07:01,354 Why are you talking about money now? 200 00:07:01,438 --> 00:07:02,980 I'm just saying, let's just chill out a bit, 201 00:07:03,062 --> 00:07:03,771 do you know what I mean? 202 00:07:03,855 --> 00:07:04,646 We can fix it. 203 00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:05,604 What's your problem? 204 00:07:05,688 --> 00:07:07,312 Just being unfair. 205 00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:08,563 You've picked the wrong time to talk about this. 206 00:07:08,646 --> 00:07:09,688 Look, the kids are coming back now. 207 00:07:09,771 --> 00:07:10,938 [Rags] They're having fun. 208 00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:11,521 Hello, boys, what'd you get? 209 00:07:11,604 --> 00:07:13,021 [overlapping chatter] 210 00:07:13,104 --> 00:07:16,104 How great is that? 211 00:07:16,187 --> 00:07:18,438 We carry on having fun, but remember, 212 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,730 we just need to think about 213 00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:21,688 spending a little less money, all right, generally, okay? 214 00:07:21,771 --> 00:07:23,813 What's that got to do with trick-or-treating? 215 00:07:23,896 --> 00:07:26,021 He means get enough sweets so that we don't have to buy 216 00:07:26,104 --> 00:07:27,479 any more food. 217 00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:30,021 No, that's not-- okay, let's just go, 218 00:07:30,104 --> 00:07:31,730 'cause you're just-- people are being ridiculous. 219 00:07:31,813 --> 00:07:34,730 [Rags] Don't be a Scrooge. Let the kids have fun, mate. 220 00:07:39,438 --> 00:07:41,062 [Romesh] Mum, do you want to help me choose a director 221 00:07:41,146 --> 00:07:42,021 for these YouTube ads? 222 00:07:42,104 --> 00:07:43,396 [Shanthi] Okay. 223 00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:44,646 They're gonna come up with a lot of ideas. 224 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:45,938 And then you listen 225 00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:47,312 to the ideas, and you decide whether 226 00:07:47,396 --> 00:07:49,062 you think that's gonna be a good ad. 227 00:07:49,146 --> 00:07:51,187 Okay. I'll do my best. 228 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,980 Okay. Just don't fuck it up. 229 00:07:53,062 --> 00:07:54,062 I won't fuck it up, no. 230 00:07:54,146 --> 00:07:55,563 [Romesh] Should we just get straight into it? 231 00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:58,104 - [man] Yeah, let's do it. - Cool. 232 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,146 This is my pitch right here, this storyboard. 233 00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,104 It essentially revolves around you 234 00:08:02,187 --> 00:08:03,354 in Los Angeles. 235 00:08:03,438 --> 00:08:05,062 But why do you say that, Los Angeles-- 236 00:08:05,146 --> 00:08:06,730 'Cause that's where the show is, Los Angeles. 237 00:08:06,813 --> 00:08:07,479 - Oh, okay, okay. - Yeah, yeah. 238 00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:10,271 Okay, so, you know, we don't... 239 00:08:10,354 --> 00:08:13,229 ...here, like, know who you are. 240 00:08:13,312 --> 00:08:14,563 Yes. 241 00:08:14,646 --> 00:08:16,312 I think it could provide a good opportunity 242 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,146 to just play with people and keep asking the question of, 243 00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:19,813 "Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?" 244 00:08:19,896 --> 00:08:21,438 It's like people-- 245 00:08:21,521 --> 00:08:22,771 That just sounds a bit pathetic, doesn't it? 246 00:08:22,855 --> 00:08:24,479 - What? - He's asking for attention. 247 00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:28,771 - That's the angle on it. - Yeah. 248 00:08:28,855 --> 00:08:29,855 Oh, I don't like the idea. 249 00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:33,396 [Gary] And then this is you interviewing people 250 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,855 on the streets. 251 00:08:34,938 --> 00:08:37,021 "Are you excited to see Romesh Ranganathan?" 252 00:08:37,104 --> 00:08:39,187 And they're all gonna go, "Who's that?" 253 00:08:39,271 --> 00:08:41,062 I like that, Romesh. Yeah. 254 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,104 [Romesh] How much do you like it, a lot? 255 00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:43,896 I like it a lot. 256 00:08:43,980 --> 00:08:46,021 Yeah, when Natalie pitched almost an identical idea... 257 00:08:46,104 --> 00:08:47,104 Yeah. 258 00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:47,604 ...you described it as... 259 00:08:47,688 --> 00:08:48,479 both: "Pathetic." 260 00:08:48,563 --> 00:08:53,271 So why is it that when Gary pitched it, 261 00:08:53,354 --> 00:08:54,938 you thought it was the most amazing thing you'd ever heard, 262 00:08:55,021 --> 00:08:58,312 and when Natalie pitched it, you thought it was pathetic? 263 00:08:58,396 --> 00:08:59,730 Is it because... 264 00:08:59,813 --> 00:09:01,062 The way Natalie-- Natalie explained... 265 00:09:01,146 --> 00:09:02,730 Was exactly the same as how Gary ex-- 266 00:09:02,813 --> 00:09:03,479 No, no, no. 267 00:09:03,563 --> 00:09:05,563 Were you flirting with Gary? 268 00:09:06,938 --> 00:09:08,521 Don't make me say things, Romy! 269 00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:09,980 I'm not making you say anything. 270 00:09:10,062 --> 00:09:11,104 It's just w-- do you not think it's--- 271 00:09:11,187 --> 00:09:12,187 What do you take me for? 272 00:09:12,271 --> 00:09:13,521 Why would I flirt with him? 273 00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:15,896 I don't know, I've got no other explanation 274 00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:18,479 as to why she reacted so positively to an idea 275 00:09:18,563 --> 00:09:20,730 that less than an hour earlier 276 00:09:20,813 --> 00:09:23,354 she'd been presented and described as pathetic. 277 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,813 What changed? 278 00:09:24,896 --> 00:09:25,312 I'll tell you what changed. 279 00:09:25,396 --> 00:09:26,855 Cock and balls. 280 00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:28,896 [Romesh] Do you know how much this would cost? 281 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:29,688 Yeah. 282 00:09:29,771 --> 00:09:32,521 - How much you got? - [laughs] 283 00:09:32,604 --> 00:09:36,771 I did feel sort of particularly drawn towards Natalie. 284 00:09:36,855 --> 00:09:38,980 I was impressed by her energy, I was impressed by her ideas, 285 00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,813 and I was impressed by the fact that she's 286 00:09:40,896 --> 00:09:41,938 probably gonna be cheaper than the other options. 287 00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:44,646 Lovely to meet you. Cheers, take care. Thank you. 288 00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:45,813 I do think it's slightly more difficult 289 00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:46,771 than it has to be. 290 00:09:46,855 --> 00:09:48,438 [Ben] What do you mean? 291 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,521 Well, you know, I'm looking for a director. 292 00:09:51,354 --> 00:09:53,563 [Ben] Are you asking me for help? 293 00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:56,896 Would you--if I asked for help, would you give me help? 294 00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,438 [Ben] I mean, I'd have to contact my agent-- 295 00:09:58,521 --> 00:10:00,438 Oh, my God. Okay, forget it. 296 00:10:00,521 --> 00:10:01,980 No, I'll just do it myself. 297 00:10:02,646 --> 00:10:04,938 I've just got a text from Rags. 298 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,271 What does he say? 299 00:10:06,354 --> 00:10:07,396 He says he's having some problem 300 00:10:07,479 --> 00:10:08,521 and he needs me to go meet him. 301 00:10:08,604 --> 00:10:10,062 What problem? 302 00:10:10,146 --> 00:10:11,604 You know, he's doing this Craigslist thing. 303 00:10:11,688 --> 00:10:13,187 Is he going to pay tax? 304 00:10:13,271 --> 00:10:14,855 I don't know, why are you-- what are you, the IRS? 305 00:10:14,938 --> 00:10:16,604 You will be in trouble then. 306 00:10:16,688 --> 00:10:18,229 - Why will I be in trouble? - You invited him. 307 00:10:18,312 --> 00:10:21,062 If he start working, don't pay tax, what will happen? 308 00:10:21,146 --> 00:10:22,855 Okay, Mum, I haven't got time for this. 309 00:10:22,938 --> 00:10:24,688 ♪ Do the thing, count the dough ♪ 310 00:10:24,771 --> 00:10:27,813 ♪ Do the thing, count the dough ♪ 311 00:10:27,896 --> 00:10:29,312 ♪ Stack it up ♪ 312 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,521 ♪ Count the dough ♪ 313 00:10:30,604 --> 00:10:31,730 ♪ Stack it up ♪ 314 00:10:31,813 --> 00:10:34,062 ♪ Count the dough, stack it up ♪ 315 00:10:34,146 --> 00:10:35,855 ♪ Uh, count the dough ♪ 316 00:10:35,938 --> 00:10:37,271 ♪ Stack it up, uh, count the dough ♪ 317 00:10:37,354 --> 00:10:38,229 ♪ Stack it up ♪ 318 00:10:38,312 --> 00:10:40,479 [chickens clucking] 319 00:10:40,563 --> 00:10:41,938 Rags. 320 00:10:42,021 --> 00:10:44,312 Hey, Rom. Oh, man. 321 00:10:44,396 --> 00:10:45,688 - Shit. - What's going on? 322 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,104 The fuck is this? 323 00:10:47,187 --> 00:10:48,104 One of the chickens got away, man. 324 00:10:48,187 --> 00:10:49,229 What chickens? 325 00:10:49,312 --> 00:10:49,938 There were three chickens 326 00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:51,855 when I came to do this work. 327 00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,938 Rags, Rags, Rags. What are you talking about? 328 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,229 Rom, I came to this job, right? 329 00:10:56,312 --> 00:10:58,771 Just clean up, you know, the-- the chicken poo and all that, 330 00:10:58,855 --> 00:10:59,730 see there? 331 00:10:59,813 --> 00:11:01,396 I've been collecting that. 332 00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:03,312 And he told me I have to keep an eye on them. 333 00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:07,354 I don't know what happened, but I--pfft--it's missing, man. 334 00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:09,312 Rags, why are you doing this job? 335 00:11:09,396 --> 00:11:11,104 Well, we need the money. 336 00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:12,271 How much are you getting paid for this? 337 00:11:12,354 --> 00:11:13,229 $200. That's good money. 338 00:11:13,312 --> 00:11:15,062 - It's not worth it. - This is good work. 339 00:11:15,146 --> 00:11:16,104 - I don't like you doing it. - Rom! 340 00:11:16,187 --> 00:11:16,938 Why? Why? 341 00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:18,730 Stand there, hold your balls, mate. 342 00:11:18,813 --> 00:11:20,104 Be a fucking man, right? 343 00:11:20,187 --> 00:11:21,604 Let's go and find that chicken. 344 00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:22,813 [sighs] 345 00:11:22,896 --> 00:11:25,146 Hello, excuse me. Sorry to bother you. 346 00:11:25,229 --> 00:11:26,771 Afternoon. We're just looking for a chicken. 347 00:11:26,855 --> 00:11:28,438 Have you seen a white chicken? 348 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,604 [woman] A chicken? 349 00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:31,354 You haven't seen a chicken 350 00:11:31,438 --> 00:11:32,688 around here, have you, by any chance? 351 00:11:32,771 --> 00:11:35,438 Have you seen a chicken, guys? 352 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:40,855 [Ben] You seemed even grumpier than usual with him. 353 00:11:40,938 --> 00:11:43,604 Part of that came from frustration at myself, 354 00:11:43,688 --> 00:11:46,563 because my complaints have led to him doing this. 355 00:11:46,646 --> 00:11:47,604 Right? So I felt bad about that. 356 00:11:47,688 --> 00:11:50,604 But I don't understand his-- 357 00:11:50,688 --> 00:11:52,813 there's no logic to what he was doing. 358 00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:53,479 [Rags] You know how to call out for chicken? 359 00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:56,146 - No. - You go... 360 00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:58,062 - I don't think... - ...buk, buk, buk, buk. 361 00:11:58,146 --> 00:11:59,563 Oh, chicken, chicken. 362 00:11:59,646 --> 00:12:01,563 Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken. 363 00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:04,146 Buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk. 364 00:12:05,062 --> 00:12:06,813 - Any luck? - No. 365 00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:08,312 Okay, look at these two houses. 366 00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:09,730 Right. 367 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:10,479 Which house would a chicken choose? 368 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,563 [scoffs] Oh, my God. 369 00:12:12,646 --> 00:12:14,896 - [intercom beeps] - Hello? 370 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:17,396 Hello, we are not available now. 371 00:12:17,479 --> 00:12:19,354 Please leave your name and phone number 372 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:20,813 after the beep. 373 00:12:20,896 --> 00:12:22,146 - [beep] - Uh, hi. 374 00:12:22,229 --> 00:12:22,980 Um, I'm Rags. 375 00:12:23,062 --> 00:12:25,730 We are looking for a-- a lost chicken. 376 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:28,187 Rags, you're just aggravating a dog now. 377 00:12:28,271 --> 00:12:28,980 It's white in color, 378 00:12:29,062 --> 00:12:31,604 and, uh, if you happen to find it, 379 00:12:31,688 --> 00:12:32,980 could you give us a call back, please? 380 00:12:33,062 --> 00:12:35,187 Rags, what the fuck are you doing? 381 00:12:35,271 --> 00:12:37,438 If you find it, uh, there may be some, uh, 382 00:12:37,521 --> 00:12:38,771 reward for you then. 383 00:12:38,855 --> 00:12:40,604 Please give us a call. Thank you, bye. 384 00:12:40,688 --> 00:12:44,229 Rags, if the chicken has jumped over this bit of wire 385 00:12:44,312 --> 00:12:46,062 and has managed to make it past the dog, 386 00:12:46,146 --> 00:12:47,688 I say good luck to it. 387 00:12:47,771 --> 00:12:48,688 Come on. 388 00:12:48,771 --> 00:12:50,062 Is it there? 389 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,062 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 390 00:12:55,604 --> 00:12:57,688 [whispering] Come here. 391 00:12:58,312 --> 00:13:01,521 Let's go home. 392 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,187 - You prick, honestly. - Rags, I'm going home. 393 00:13:05,271 --> 00:13:06,646 What a terrible thing to do. 394 00:13:07,271 --> 00:13:09,688 There it is, there it is, there it is, there it is. 395 00:13:09,771 --> 00:13:10,646 - There it is. - Wow! 396 00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:14,730 [Rags] See? Hard work pays off, mate. 397 00:13:14,813 --> 00:13:16,938 [Ben] So, not a successful day? 398 00:13:17,021 --> 00:13:19,271 [Romesh] I feel a bit bad about it, if I'm being honest. 399 00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:21,855 He's come all the way over here 400 00:13:21,938 --> 00:13:23,396 to help me out, 401 00:13:23,479 --> 00:13:24,187 and then because I've been a prick 402 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,062 and been moaning about money, 403 00:13:26,146 --> 00:13:27,479 he's cleaning up chicken shit. 404 00:13:28,312 --> 00:13:30,855 What's the career progression from this? 405 00:13:30,938 --> 00:13:32,312 Who knows? Like... 406 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,229 ...I want to start somewhere, 407 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,771 and then try and build up, you know? 408 00:13:35,855 --> 00:13:40,521 Like, 400, 800, 1,600, 3,000-- 409 00:13:40,604 --> 00:13:43,062 Okay, I know how numbers work, Rags. 410 00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:45,062 ♪ I don't want to get a job, fuck it ♪ 411 00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:46,980 ♪ I just want to sit around, smoke weed ♪ 412 00:13:47,062 --> 00:13:47,730 ♪ Flick through dope beats ♪ 413 00:13:47,813 --> 00:13:49,730 ♪ Rip cold scratch tunes ♪ 414 00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:51,187 ♪ Freestyle so deep ♪ 415 00:13:51,271 --> 00:13:53,396 ♪♪♪ 416 00:13:53,479 --> 00:13:54,271 Why don't you tell them what your job was today? 417 00:13:54,354 --> 00:13:55,730 You did a job? 418 00:13:55,813 --> 00:13:58,312 Yeah, I did a job for Craiglist. 419 00:13:58,396 --> 00:14:00,312 It was a hard job, but I made some money 420 00:14:00,396 --> 00:14:02,604 towards the $50,000 we were talking about. 421 00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:05,771 So there's some money in the bank, so it'll grow. 422 00:14:05,855 --> 00:14:06,938 And in no time, we'll catch up on the $50,000, 423 00:14:07,021 --> 00:14:09,229 so that's what it's all about, so-- 424 00:14:09,312 --> 00:14:11,021 Rags was paid $200 to clean out chicken shit. 425 00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:13,271 You clean chicken shit? 426 00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:15,730 Yeah. 427 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,438 Why? 428 00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:19,354 - Well, $200 pay. - $200. 429 00:14:19,438 --> 00:14:20,479 And for enjoyment. 430 00:14:20,563 --> 00:14:21,855 And he lost one of the chickens. 431 00:14:21,938 --> 00:14:23,354 - What? - One of the chickens ran away. 432 00:14:23,438 --> 00:14:25,855 [Rags] One of the chickens ran away. 433 00:14:25,938 --> 00:14:28,813 I've got to be honest, when I walked up and I saw Rags 434 00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,104 sweeping out the chicken coop... 435 00:14:30,187 --> 00:14:31,271 Yeah. 436 00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:32,479 ...I did feel a little bit bad. 437 00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:33,688 [Shanthi] Yeah. 438 00:14:33,771 --> 00:14:35,146 And it did make me think that maybe 439 00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:36,896 I've gone over the top with, uh... 440 00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:38,271 - Thank you, man. - Complaining about money. 441 00:14:38,354 --> 00:14:40,354 I can do a bit more shopping tomorrow? 442 00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:41,771 No, that's not-- that doesn't mean 443 00:14:41,855 --> 00:14:43,604 continue as you were before. 444 00:14:43,688 --> 00:14:46,563 It just means I'm sorry I overstated the situation. 445 00:14:46,646 --> 00:14:48,896 And also, I'm gonna try and like, 446 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,646 look at other ways of sort of generating a bit of money 447 00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:53,271 for the--for the ad. 448 00:14:53,354 --> 00:14:55,229 So I don't want you to sort of worry about it too much. 449 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:58,563 - Ching-ching to that, Ro. - Ching-ching. 450 00:14:58,646 --> 00:15:00,104 - [Romesh] Ching-ching. - [Rags] Well done. 451 00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:05,646 ♪ laid-back rock music ♪ 452 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:10,896 ♪♪♪ 453 00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,021 - [Ben] How you feeling today? - [Romesh] I'm feeling good. 454 00:15:15,104 --> 00:15:19,104 It's a big day today. Uh, shooting our YouTube ad. 455 00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:20,229 [Ben] So how can you afford to shoot the commercial? 456 00:15:20,312 --> 00:15:22,813 [Romesh] Shooting the commercial is not where 457 00:15:22,896 --> 00:15:24,521 the cost is; I've got Natalie for free. 458 00:15:24,604 --> 00:15:26,354 The location's free. 459 00:15:26,438 --> 00:15:28,855 The cost is in actually putting the advert out. 460 00:15:28,938 --> 00:15:31,021 All right, can we just do a run-through, please. 461 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,688 So, the idea is, one continuous shot. 462 00:15:33,771 --> 00:15:35,312 I'll talk you through it. 463 00:15:35,396 --> 00:15:35,896 Black-and-white, see a shot of the fountains 464 00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:37,938 at Universal CityWalk. 465 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,396 Shanthi? 466 00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:42,479 My son has always been a funny boy. 467 00:15:42,563 --> 00:15:44,855 And he makes me laugh all the time, 468 00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:46,855 and I think he can make you laugh, too. 469 00:15:46,938 --> 00:15:49,855 - He's a star. - Then Rags. 470 00:15:49,938 --> 00:15:51,438 I wouldn't say it like this. 471 00:15:51,521 --> 00:15:54,271 That's kind of written for someone to memorize it 472 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,604 and read it back. 473 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:56,438 That's how lines--that's how-- 474 00:15:56,521 --> 00:15:58,229 that's how a script works, Rags. 475 00:15:58,312 --> 00:15:59,938 That's like for... 476 00:16:00,062 --> 00:16:01,062 What you're questioning is the process of scripts. 477 00:16:01,146 --> 00:16:02,730 That's, like, for an actor, man. 478 00:16:02,813 --> 00:16:04,396 It's not for--like, a family person 479 00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:05,938 would come out with this-- what he actually feels like. 480 00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:08,938 Okay, what do you want to say, Rags? 481 00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:12,688 Uh, my nephew is the greatest comedian in the whole universe. 482 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,271 You wait till he makes his scene here, 483 00:16:14,354 --> 00:16:19,688 and he's gonna knock you guys off your feet immediately. 484 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,312 Come to the show on 23rd of December, 485 00:16:22,396 --> 00:16:25,521 and I know that's he's gonna make it big here, too, 486 00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:26,896 so you guys watch out for this. 487 00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:28,938 Come to our show and-- 488 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,271 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 489 00:16:30,354 --> 00:16:31,229 The whole thing is 30 seconds. 490 00:16:31,312 --> 00:16:32,896 [Natalie] Hi, guys. 491 00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,396 - Hey, Natalie! - Good to see you guys. 492 00:16:34,479 --> 00:16:35,271 - [Rags] Hey! - Good to see you guys. 493 00:16:35,354 --> 00:16:37,396 - I brought props. - [Leesa] Oh, wow. 494 00:16:37,479 --> 00:16:39,062 [Ben] Hold on, who's directing this, you or Natalie? 495 00:16:39,146 --> 00:16:42,104 I--I see it as a co-directing role, 496 00:16:42,187 --> 00:16:44,021 do you know what I mean? 497 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,855 [Ben] And--and what's your directing experience? 498 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,438 [Romesh] Directing to me just seems to be sort of 499 00:16:47,521 --> 00:16:49,521 standing around fucking barking orders at people 500 00:16:49,604 --> 00:16:50,563 that are more talented than you. 501 00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:52,104 I can do that. I can pretend to be competent. 502 00:16:52,187 --> 00:16:55,021 I've seen people do it for long enough. 503 00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:57,730 [Ben] You talking about me? 504 00:16:57,813 --> 00:16:58,938 Give me one. 505 00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,229 Please, can we go to Universal? 506 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,479 Yes, but let's just get this done, shall we? 507 00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:05,271 He makes me laugh all the time. 508 00:17:05,354 --> 00:17:08,104 Hi, Rom's the greatest comedian in UK. 509 00:17:08,187 --> 00:17:10,855 He has actually turned UK upside down by his comedy. 510 00:17:10,938 --> 00:17:13,521 He fills up every venue in UK. 511 00:17:13,604 --> 00:17:16,187 And he's gonna do the same thing here in U.S. 512 00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:18,021 And I guarantee it! 513 00:17:18,855 --> 00:17:21,438 My husband is deter-- I'm walking. 514 00:17:21,521 --> 00:17:22,938 Yep, sorry. My husband is determined to make it big 515 00:17:23,062 --> 00:17:25,938 in America, and I believe this'll happen. 516 00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,479 - Right, kids? - Love you, Dad! 517 00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:29,146 [Rags] Yay! 518 00:17:29,229 --> 00:17:31,146 - Uh... - [Leesa] Yay! 519 00:17:31,229 --> 00:17:32,354 Oh, hold on, we got to do this again. 520 00:17:32,438 --> 00:17:33,604 I don't know if this is working. 521 00:17:33,688 --> 00:17:34,688 No, it's not working. 522 00:17:34,771 --> 00:17:37,062 [Romesh] Uh, let's--do you think we should try-- 523 00:17:37,146 --> 00:17:37,563 [Natalie] Yeah, Rags, can we have a little more energy 524 00:17:37,646 --> 00:17:38,813 when you do it? 525 00:17:38,896 --> 00:17:42,688 [Romesh] Rags. Rags! 526 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,479 - We're st--we're doing-- - I thought it's done! 527 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,521 When I say we're done, that's when we're done, yeah? 528 00:17:46,604 --> 00:17:48,062 [Natalie] So we're gonna do just a little run-- 529 00:17:48,146 --> 00:17:50,062 [Shanthi] Alex, up, up, up. Alex-- 530 00:17:50,146 --> 00:17:52,521 Rom is the greatest comedian in the world! 531 00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:53,688 He's gonna sell out U.S.! 532 00:17:53,771 --> 00:17:54,479 All right, guys, we're gonna go. 533 00:17:54,563 --> 00:17:56,604 My son always been a funny boy. 534 00:17:56,688 --> 00:17:57,938 He makes me laugh all the time. 535 00:17:58,021 --> 00:18:00,396 [Natalie] Rags, you ready? 536 00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:01,896 Oh, you're gonna do a shot with the cigarette? 537 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,479 [Romesh] Rags, we haven't got time. Come on. 538 00:18:03,563 --> 00:18:04,438 - [Natalie] Five, four... - Oh, hang on! 539 00:18:04,521 --> 00:18:06,604 - No, no, no, no, no, please! - Three! 540 00:18:06,688 --> 00:18:07,479 [Ben] Pretty tricky, isn't it? 541 00:18:07,563 --> 00:18:09,604 [Romesh] If what you're getting at 542 00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:10,980 is that I'm not doing as good a job 543 00:18:11,062 --> 00:18:12,771 as you might have done with it, 544 00:18:12,855 --> 00:18:14,312 my counterargument, my defense, would be 545 00:18:14,396 --> 00:18:17,229 that they're just--my family are un-directable. 546 00:18:17,312 --> 00:18:21,354 Romy, I'm so thirsty. Can I have some coffee, please? 547 00:18:21,438 --> 00:18:22,396 - Three more. - I thought it was done. 548 00:18:22,479 --> 00:18:24,021 Three more. Three more. 549 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:25,604 [Ben] What do you make of Natalie? 550 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,521 [Romesh] I thought Natalie was very good. 551 00:18:27,604 --> 00:18:30,229 I actually thought she was too good for the situation, 552 00:18:30,312 --> 00:18:32,062 because if I was her, I'd have walked out on it. 553 00:18:32,146 --> 00:18:34,104 Is this a break we're having, or are we filming? 554 00:18:34,187 --> 00:18:35,479 No, this is not a break. Let's go, let's go. 555 00:18:35,563 --> 00:18:37,021 Let's go, go, go, go! 556 00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:38,521 Rom's the greatest comedian in the UK. 557 00:18:38,604 --> 00:18:43,062 He's gonna make it big here, too, in the USA. Right, kids? 558 00:18:43,771 --> 00:18:46,354 - Whoo! - Are you serious! 559 00:18:46,438 --> 00:18:48,354 [Leesa] We're running. Come on. 560 00:18:48,438 --> 00:18:49,980 [Ben] It was quite a simple idea. 561 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:51,521 One shot, family come in, 562 00:18:51,604 --> 00:18:52,563 and do it, I just don't know why-- 563 00:18:52,646 --> 00:18:53,896 [Romesh] Because you can't direct those people. 564 00:18:53,980 --> 00:18:56,021 Right? It's impossible. 565 00:18:56,104 --> 00:18:57,396 They've all got their own demands. 566 00:18:57,479 --> 00:18:58,646 All ba-ra-ra-ra-ra in my ear. 567 00:18:58,730 --> 00:19:01,521 So I did the best that I could in those circumstances. 568 00:19:01,604 --> 00:19:04,896 I got the best commercial you can get out of them. 569 00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:07,354 Oh, my God, I can't help you. Mommy, Dad-- 570 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:09,896 [Romesh] You couldn't have done better than that. 571 00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:11,396 [Ben] Yeah, you can, you just-- 572 00:19:11,479 --> 00:19:12,396 I just think you were making it much more com-- 573 00:19:12,479 --> 00:19:14,229 A single shot with them, 574 00:19:14,312 --> 00:19:15,771 those people, 575 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,104 you think that you can get better than that? 576 00:19:17,187 --> 00:19:18,980 [Ben] Yeah. 577 00:19:19,062 --> 00:19:19,896 Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you doing some 578 00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:20,438 for a change. 579 00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:24,688 It won't be better than mine. 580 00:19:24,771 --> 00:19:25,896 ♪ percussive music ♪ 581 00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,438 My son is funny. He's a star. 582 00:19:28,521 --> 00:19:32,771 Rom's been the greatest comedian UK has ever seen. 583 00:19:32,855 --> 00:19:35,354 And he's gonna make it big here in America. 584 00:19:35,438 --> 00:19:37,104 ♪♪♪ 585 00:19:37,187 --> 00:19:38,896 I love you, Dad! 586 00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:40,646 Hi, I'm Romesh Ranganathan. 587 00:19:40,730 --> 00:19:43,271 His father, her husband, his nephew, 588 00:19:43,354 --> 00:19:45,396 and her son, and I'm gonna be performing a show 589 00:19:45,479 --> 00:19:46,730 on the 21st of December 590 00:19:46,813 --> 00:19:47,354 at the Greek Theatre. 591 00:19:47,438 --> 00:19:49,354 Please come. Right, guys? 592 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,604 [family cheering] 593 00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:52,646 Seriously, though, please come. 594 00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:55,104 I do owe that theater quite a lot of money. 595 00:19:58,021 --> 00:20:01,104 ♪ light upbeat music ♪ 596 00:20:01,187 --> 00:20:03,521 [Romesh] All right, Rags, uh, so I've found 597 00:20:03,604 --> 00:20:06,229 a kind of a way of making some decent money. 598 00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:08,688 'Cause you can make a lot of money over here 599 00:20:08,771 --> 00:20:10,271 just renting your property out 600 00:20:10,354 --> 00:20:10,813 for film shoots and stuff like that. 601 00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:12,438 Mm-hmm. 602 00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:14,563 So we've got somebody that's gonna come here today 603 00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,312 and shoot the house, 604 00:20:16,396 --> 00:20:17,479 and they're willing to pay quite a lot of money for it. 605 00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:18,438 - So... - That's a great idea. 606 00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,312 Yeah. 607 00:20:20,396 --> 00:20:22,062 [Romesh] Leesa and the kids are out for the day. 608 00:20:22,146 --> 00:20:23,479 I've told them that we're doing a shoot today, 609 00:20:23,563 --> 00:20:26,855 so Leesa's sort of doing a fun day with the kids. 610 00:20:26,938 --> 00:20:29,438 She's actually very sort of supportive. 611 00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:31,062 She said well done. 612 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,312 - It's like a short film. - A short film? Okay. 613 00:20:33,396 --> 00:20:35,354 - Well, and then-- - Like a documentary then. 614 00:20:35,438 --> 00:20:38,521 Well, they're documenting, but, uh... 615 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,563 it's k--basically... 616 00:20:40,646 --> 00:20:42,521 well, it's a porno. 617 00:20:43,479 --> 00:20:45,896 Fucking hell. Are you serious? 618 00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:47,646 [Ben] Does, uh, does Leesa know 619 00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:49,646 it's, uh, a-a porn film? 620 00:20:49,730 --> 00:20:51,479 She knows that there is a shooting 621 00:20:51,563 --> 00:20:53,271 taking place all day today, yeah. 622 00:20:53,354 --> 00:20:54,771 No, no, sorry, the question was, does she know 623 00:20:54,855 --> 00:20:56,730 that it's porn? 624 00:20:58,187 --> 00:20:59,563 Uh... 625 00:20:59,646 --> 00:21:02,563 [doorbell chimes] 626 00:21:02,646 --> 00:21:04,104 - Hello. - Oh, hi! 627 00:21:04,187 --> 00:21:04,813 - Hi, Rom, how you doing? - How you doing? Romesh. 628 00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,688 Nice to meet you. 629 00:21:06,771 --> 00:21:08,229 [Romesh] I'm still trying to be humble about it 630 00:21:08,312 --> 00:21:09,896 and modest, but I actually think 631 00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:10,521 what I've done is pretty amazing. 632 00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:12,688 I've managed to secure 633 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,146 a way of financing this 634 00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:17,604 without having to really do very much. 635 00:21:17,688 --> 00:21:21,021 I don't want to go on about it, but I think I've nailed it. 636 00:21:21,104 --> 00:21:22,604 Oh, there'll be some nailing going on later on, 637 00:21:22,688 --> 00:21:24,479 mark my words. 638 00:21:24,563 --> 00:21:26,354 [woman] Okay, so just to give you a run-down 639 00:21:26,438 --> 00:21:27,813 of what we're doing, 640 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:28,855 the guys should be here at any minute. 641 00:21:28,938 --> 00:21:30,354 Um, so they come in, we'll do some paperwork, 642 00:21:30,438 --> 00:21:33,396 do some makeup, and then they'll have sex here, 643 00:21:33,479 --> 00:21:35,563 and they'll probably be just kissing, 644 00:21:35,646 --> 00:21:36,229 sucking dick, eating ass, and then 645 00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:38,813 two or three sex positions. 646 00:21:38,896 --> 00:21:39,896 And then cum shots. 647 00:21:39,980 --> 00:21:41,896 But the cum shots, they shouldn't go anywhere 648 00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:42,855 on the couch, 'cause we want to have 'em... 649 00:21:42,938 --> 00:21:44,604 - They go on the person. - ...on the body. 650 00:21:44,688 --> 00:21:46,396 - The face.. - Yeah. 651 00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:48,062 - So, um... - Okay, cool. 652 00:21:48,146 --> 00:21:49,396 We'll be sure to clean everything up, though. 653 00:21:49,479 --> 00:21:53,062 - Um, all right, cool. - [doorbell rings] 654 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:55,146 Yay! Hi, guys. How are ya? 655 00:21:55,229 --> 00:21:57,229 [Ben] It feels like quite an extreme thing to do. 656 00:21:57,312 --> 00:21:58,229 [Romesh] It's an unusual thing to do, I grant you that; 657 00:21:58,312 --> 00:22:00,229 I don't think it's extreme to do. 658 00:22:00,312 --> 00:22:03,396 I'm using our premises 659 00:22:03,479 --> 00:22:04,980 to make some money. 660 00:22:05,062 --> 00:22:06,438 We'll just be out here, is that all right? 661 00:22:06,521 --> 00:22:09,771 They film, they pay me, and then they leave. 662 00:22:09,855 --> 00:22:11,396 And we never make contact again. 663 00:22:11,479 --> 00:22:15,021 It's wham, bam, thank you, sir. 664 00:22:15,938 --> 00:22:17,271 [whispering] Rom! Can I ask you a question? 665 00:22:17,354 --> 00:22:19,354 - Sure. - [whispering] Okay. 666 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,021 [man] All right, now go down, 667 00:22:21,104 --> 00:22:23,021 tease the head of his dick... 668 00:22:23,104 --> 00:22:24,688 So, um, Brian and Colton are here, too. 669 00:22:24,771 --> 00:22:26,938 Hello. 670 00:22:27,021 --> 00:22:28,771 So they're totally ready to go. 671 00:22:28,855 --> 00:22:31,396 But I was wondering if we could shoot another scene with them 672 00:22:31,479 --> 00:22:33,438 in another room, if you wouldn't mind? 673 00:22:33,521 --> 00:22:35,062 Uh, I kinda just thought 674 00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:36,479 we were gonna stay in this room. 675 00:22:36,563 --> 00:22:38,312 Where were you thinking? 676 00:22:38,396 --> 00:22:38,938 Um, the front bedroom, 'cause it seems like it gets 677 00:22:39,021 --> 00:22:40,396 a lot of light. 678 00:22:40,479 --> 00:22:43,980 - Uh... - Now spread it. Let me see. 679 00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:45,438 - Okay, keep rolling. - Let's have a quick look. 680 00:22:45,521 --> 00:22:45,896 - In here. - Spread the cheeks. 681 00:22:45,980 --> 00:22:47,271 Let me see. 682 00:22:47,354 --> 00:22:50,271 Maybe... ooh, my god, that's gorgeous. 683 00:22:50,354 --> 00:22:52,104 Ooh. 684 00:22:52,187 --> 00:22:54,396 I love this lighting. Whose room is this? 685 00:22:54,479 --> 00:22:56,688 [Romesh] Uh, this is my mum's room. 686 00:22:56,771 --> 00:22:59,021 This is great. I bet you have really hot sex up here. 687 00:22:59,104 --> 00:23:01,187 Look at that headboard. It's amazing. 688 00:23:01,271 --> 00:23:02,813 I could throw in a little extra money. 689 00:23:02,896 --> 00:23:05,104 Yeah, I guess so, yeah, as long as you guys sort of... 690 00:23:05,187 --> 00:23:06,938 ...covered, and no trace of... 691 00:23:07,021 --> 00:23:08,479 Leave no trace. 692 00:23:08,563 --> 00:23:11,146 Thank you. All right. Cool. Nice one. 693 00:23:12,312 --> 00:23:13,896 Well... 694 00:23:14,730 --> 00:23:15,896 I've got two bits of news. 695 00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:18,396 One is... 696 00:23:18,479 --> 00:23:20,730 ...we're getting more money. 697 00:23:20,813 --> 00:23:21,521 And the other is... 698 00:23:21,604 --> 00:23:23,771 ...they're gonna use Mum's room. 699 00:23:25,021 --> 00:23:27,187 So, it's, uh... 700 00:23:27,271 --> 00:23:28,563 ...slightly different to how I envisaged it. 701 00:23:28,646 --> 00:23:31,312 But they're gonna clean it up afterwards. 702 00:23:31,396 --> 00:23:33,438 But cleaning it up is always not gonna work. 703 00:23:33,521 --> 00:23:36,771 Like, you know how the little man things work. 704 00:23:36,855 --> 00:23:38,229 - Sperm, you're talking? - Yeah, the sperm. 705 00:23:38,312 --> 00:23:40,563 They crawl slowly, and they keep moving. 706 00:23:40,646 --> 00:23:43,396 It's not a fucking face-hugger from Alien, Rags. 707 00:23:43,479 --> 00:23:46,521 [Ben] Did you learn a little bit about porn shoots? 708 00:23:46,604 --> 00:23:48,980 Uh, you know, I haven't spent 709 00:23:49,062 --> 00:23:50,021 much time around porn shoots, 710 00:23:50,104 --> 00:23:51,271 but what I will tell you is, they are very good 711 00:23:51,354 --> 00:23:53,688 at making themselves at home. 712 00:23:53,771 --> 00:23:55,563 [moaning] 713 00:23:55,646 --> 00:23:58,521 ♪ light music ♪ 714 00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,062 - Oh, those are so nice. - Is that all right? 715 00:24:00,146 --> 00:24:01,521 - Yeah. - Is that too nice? 716 00:24:01,604 --> 00:24:02,563 Well, it's one of the... 717 00:24:02,646 --> 00:24:03,688 Show us the rest of the house. 718 00:24:03,771 --> 00:24:05,146 Let's see. 719 00:24:05,229 --> 00:24:07,187 Uh, this is my wife's and I's bedroom. 720 00:24:07,271 --> 00:24:11,312 Oh, my God, this is gorgeous. 721 00:24:11,396 --> 00:24:14,146 - Oh, wow! - What! 722 00:24:14,229 --> 00:24:16,980 [woman] This is beautiful. 723 00:24:17,062 --> 00:24:18,771 You... what do you think about up here? 724 00:24:20,479 --> 00:24:22,104 I hadn't really sort of envisaged you guys 725 00:24:22,187 --> 00:24:24,021 coming upstairs. 726 00:24:24,104 --> 00:24:24,855 We could double it. 727 00:24:24,938 --> 00:24:27,104 We'll double what we did downstairs. 728 00:24:27,187 --> 00:24:29,438 Like, if we could triple what you're gonna do, then... 729 00:24:29,521 --> 00:24:31,146 - Triple? - ...I could think about it. 730 00:24:31,229 --> 00:24:32,896 We'll leave it cleaner than when we arrived. 731 00:24:32,980 --> 00:24:34,521 I mean, you could just cum right here. 732 00:24:34,604 --> 00:24:36,688 And then you go down and you kneel, 733 00:24:36,771 --> 00:24:37,896 and then he could cum in your mouth, 734 00:24:37,980 --> 00:24:39,354 and then nothing gets on the bed. 735 00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:41,062 Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. 736 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,688 Beautiful. 737 00:24:43,771 --> 00:24:44,563 [Romesh] Once they'd been in the living room 738 00:24:44,646 --> 00:24:46,312 and they'd been in my mum's room, 739 00:24:46,396 --> 00:24:48,062 I just sort of thought, 740 00:24:48,146 --> 00:24:49,896 we're through the looking glass here, aren't we? 741 00:24:49,980 --> 00:24:51,855 Do you know what I mean? We are over the threshold. 742 00:24:51,938 --> 00:24:54,438 Who gives a shit now if they use the rest of the house? 743 00:24:54,521 --> 00:24:56,021 [moaning] 744 00:24:56,104 --> 00:25:01,271 [crunching] 745 00:25:01,354 --> 00:25:04,354 Sorry, do you know exactly how long this is gonna take? 746 00:25:04,438 --> 00:25:06,479 How long do you need for cum shots? 747 00:25:06,563 --> 00:25:10,187 - Like, two hours. Two hours? - Two extra hours, now? 748 00:25:10,271 --> 00:25:11,271 - Yeah. - Uh... 749 00:25:11,354 --> 00:25:14,271 We could give you more money. 750 00:25:15,521 --> 00:25:17,271 - [Leesa] Hello? - Hello, Leesa. It's Rom. 751 00:25:17,354 --> 00:25:18,021 Um, listen, can you get the kids dinner out, please? 752 00:25:18,104 --> 00:25:20,521 [Leesa] Yeah. 753 00:25:20,604 --> 00:25:21,771 Because they need another two hours here. 754 00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:22,730 [Leesa] Another two hours? 755 00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:24,938 [Romesh] No, I know, I know, I know. 756 00:25:25,021 --> 00:25:26,771 But they just need to wrap up. 757 00:25:26,855 --> 00:25:27,688 They've got this thing that they're in the middle of, 758 00:25:27,771 --> 00:25:29,980 and they just need to finish up. 759 00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:31,104 [Leesa] All right. All right, bye. 760 00:25:31,187 --> 00:25:33,604 All right. Love you. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. 761 00:25:33,688 --> 00:25:35,646 Well, I'm gonna tell her that she's got two hours. 762 00:25:36,980 --> 00:25:40,062 [moaning] 763 00:25:40,146 --> 00:25:41,438 Hello? 764 00:25:45,646 --> 00:25:48,688 So hot. Hey. 765 00:25:48,771 --> 00:25:49,646 - Hi. - Hi. 766 00:25:49,730 --> 00:25:52,354 I can see you're already in, but, um... 767 00:25:52,438 --> 00:25:54,479 We were just gonna do some light fucking really quick. 768 00:25:54,563 --> 00:25:55,855 Keep kissing! It's good! 769 00:25:55,938 --> 00:25:57,521 Anyway, it's fine for two hours. 770 00:25:57,604 --> 00:25:58,271 All right, we got two more hours? 771 00:25:58,354 --> 00:25:59,271 - Yeah. - This is good. 772 00:25:59,354 --> 00:26:00,271 Thank you so much. 773 00:26:00,354 --> 00:26:02,312 Okay. Go, guys. 774 00:26:02,396 --> 00:26:04,563 [moaning] 775 00:26:11,896 --> 00:26:13,938 They were in Alex and Charlie's room. 776 00:26:22,271 --> 00:26:25,062 Dad, why do we have all these candles here? 777 00:26:25,563 --> 00:26:27,688 Uh, just 'cause I thought it would be nice. 778 00:26:27,771 --> 00:26:29,688 [Shanthi] Romy, why did you chase us out? 779 00:26:29,771 --> 00:26:31,730 Because we were doing a shoot here. 780 00:26:31,813 --> 00:26:33,855 We could've stayed upstairs. 781 00:26:33,938 --> 00:26:35,021 Yeah, but they were u-- 782 00:26:35,104 --> 00:26:36,021 using sort of the whole place. 783 00:26:36,104 --> 00:26:37,855 Yeah, they--it was like a romantic scene, 784 00:26:37,938 --> 00:26:39,813 like, a couple, like, sitting here 785 00:26:39,896 --> 00:26:40,604 and having a drink. 786 00:26:40,688 --> 00:26:42,896 - Anyway, forget that. - Yeah. 787 00:26:42,980 --> 00:26:44,354 I've got something to show you guys. 788 00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:45,354 - Yeah? - What is it? 789 00:26:45,438 --> 00:26:48,062 The ad is up online. 790 00:26:48,146 --> 00:26:48,688 Ready? You ready? 791 00:26:48,771 --> 00:26:50,730 - Excuse me. - Yay! 792 00:26:50,813 --> 00:26:52,271 - We didn't raise a full 50K. - Let's have a look. 793 00:26:52,354 --> 00:26:53,396 But we had enough to put together a smaller 794 00:26:53,479 --> 00:26:55,062 YouTube campaign. 795 00:26:55,146 --> 00:26:56,062 - [Shanthi] Okay. - And... 796 00:26:56,146 --> 00:26:58,104 ...three, two, one, go. 797 00:26:58,646 --> 00:27:01,354 My son is funny. He's a star. 798 00:27:01,438 --> 00:27:04,688 [Alex] But you can just skip it in five seconds, can't you? 799 00:27:04,771 --> 00:27:06,396 Yeah, he's right. I'd do that. 800 00:27:07,187 --> 00:27:08,896 People just can skip the ad 801 00:27:08,980 --> 00:27:11,021 without knowing the information. 802 00:27:11,104 --> 00:27:11,521 [Alex] And that's why you should have been 803 00:27:11,604 --> 00:27:12,896 at the beginning. 804 00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:15,563 [Leesa] Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. 805 00:27:15,646 --> 00:27:16,563 ♪ The way I break it down, you know ♪ 806 00:27:16,646 --> 00:27:18,896 ♪ We're so monumental ♪ 807 00:27:18,980 --> 00:27:20,229 ♪ I've got these other rappers looking so stupid it hurts ♪ 808 00:27:20,312 --> 00:27:22,938 ♪ Call it what you want to call it, chewing their words ♪ 809 00:27:23,021 --> 00:27:24,980 ♪ Brewing at the sight of it and eating their hat ♪ 810 00:27:25,062 --> 00:27:26,813 ♪ I used to let it go, now I'm stealing it back ♪ 811 00:27:26,896 --> 00:27:28,062 ♪ The girl's funny little dickhead trying ♪ 812 00:27:28,146 --> 00:27:29,229 ♪ To sneak and attack ♪ 813 00:27:29,312 --> 00:27:30,813 ♪ And, yeah, you got to hand it to the way ♪ 814 00:27:30,896 --> 00:27:32,021 ♪ We're cutting it up ♪ 815 00:27:32,104 --> 00:27:34,646 ♪ Every single way possible we're fucking it up ♪ 816 00:27:34,730 --> 00:27:36,563 ♪ Swear to God they're so emotional ♪ 817 00:27:36,646 --> 00:27:38,187 ♪ Sucking it up, put the money in the bag bitch ♪ 818 00:27:38,271 --> 00:27:39,771 ♪ And button it up, I've got it ♪ 819 00:27:39,855 --> 00:27:41,771 ♪♪♪ 820 00:27:41,855 --> 00:27:44,771 [bright tone]