1 00:00:01,021 --> 00:00:04,062 [bright tone] 2 00:00:09,271 --> 00:00:11,771 ♪ mellow music ♪ 3 00:00:11,855 --> 00:00:12,896 We're going to LA. It's gonna be amazing. 4 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,271 - Right, Theo? - Yeah. 5 00:00:15,354 --> 00:00:15,980 - See? - [Leesa] Can't wait. 6 00:00:16,062 --> 00:00:19,021 I'm really excited to see-- 7 00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:21,271 to see LA, to be in the heat. 8 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:24,688 I'll go, sort everything out. You come. 9 00:00:24,771 --> 00:00:27,730 Great times. We're in love in LA. 10 00:00:27,813 --> 00:00:29,521 Have we got a place to live out there? 11 00:00:29,604 --> 00:00:30,563 Have you sorted that yet? 12 00:00:32,855 --> 00:00:34,771 - That will be sorted out. - What about schools? 13 00:00:34,855 --> 00:00:35,938 That will be sorted out. 14 00:00:36,021 --> 00:00:38,438 We are gonna have a great time, 15 00:00:38,521 --> 00:00:40,104 and you need to commit to it. 16 00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:41,688 I am committed to it, 17 00:00:41,771 --> 00:00:43,312 but I-I have booked a return ticket 18 00:00:43,396 --> 00:00:46,771 just in case things don't go to your plan. 19 00:00:46,855 --> 00:00:48,312 But I think you need-- 20 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:49,688 Have you booked me a return ticket? 21 00:00:49,771 --> 00:00:51,354 - [Leesa] No. - So what happens? 22 00:00:51,438 --> 00:00:53,813 It fails and then you leave me. Is that the strategy? 23 00:00:53,896 --> 00:00:54,896 Maybe. [laughs] 24 00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:56,813 What are you talking about? 25 00:00:56,896 --> 00:00:58,938 Why have you just booked yourself a return ticket? 26 00:00:59,021 --> 00:01:01,312 Because you booked your own ticket, 27 00:01:01,396 --> 00:01:02,646 so I thought, "Well, if he wants"-- 28 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,771 Yeah, but I haven't booked a return, 29 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,146 so what are you gonna do? 30 00:01:05,229 --> 00:01:07,438 "I'll see how it goes with Rom in America. 31 00:01:07,521 --> 00:01:08,730 If it doesn't work out, we'll just come back 32 00:01:08,813 --> 00:01:10,646 and find a new British man." 33 00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:13,479 No, I didn't think about finding a man, but, you know... 34 00:01:13,563 --> 00:01:14,855 It is going to work out. Theo thinks it's go-- 35 00:01:14,938 --> 00:01:17,980 It's gonna work out, Theo, right? 36 00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:23,438 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 37 00:01:23,521 --> 00:01:28,438 ♪♪♪ 38 00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:30,980 ♪ mellow music ♪ 39 00:01:31,062 --> 00:01:33,688 - [doorbell ringing] - [indistinct chatter] 40 00:01:33,771 --> 00:01:37,146 ♪♪♪ 41 00:01:37,229 --> 00:01:40,354 - Hello. - [man] Hey, how's it going? 42 00:01:40,438 --> 00:01:42,312 Good, in the house. 43 00:01:42,396 --> 00:01:43,688 - [man] It's nice. - Yeah, do you wanna come in? 44 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,771 [man] Yeah. 45 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:46,396 Come on. 46 00:01:48,938 --> 00:01:51,021 [man] Look at this. 47 00:01:51,104 --> 00:01:53,980 Dining table. 48 00:01:54,062 --> 00:01:56,354 Two crack pipes, as standard. 49 00:01:56,438 --> 00:01:57,104 [man] It's a nice place. 50 00:01:57,187 --> 00:02:01,563 Yes, it is a nice place. Um... 51 00:02:01,646 --> 00:02:03,271 I'm sort of pleased that I've sorted out the house. 52 00:02:03,354 --> 00:02:04,938 It's a big weight taken off the shoulders. 53 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,229 - [Charlie babbling] - Children as normal. 54 00:02:07,312 --> 00:02:07,896 - Ben's here. - Hi, Ben. 55 00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:10,229 - Hi, Ben. - [Ben] Hey. 56 00:02:10,312 --> 00:02:11,938 Unfortunately, this is one of the fixtures 57 00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:13,688 that we had to bring across from the hotel. 58 00:02:13,771 --> 00:02:17,187 ♪♪♪ 59 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:20,312 Every morning, he does that for about 20 minutes, 60 00:02:20,396 --> 00:02:23,062 and then he'll lie down and go to sleep for a bit. 61 00:02:23,146 --> 00:02:24,479 [Ben] What is he-- what even is that? 62 00:02:24,563 --> 00:02:26,062 [Romesh] I've got no idea. 63 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,479 It's not tai chi. It's just some shit he made up. 64 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:31,146 ♪♪♪ 65 00:02:31,229 --> 00:02:32,730 Can you put some almond milk in it? 66 00:02:32,813 --> 00:02:34,604 I've looked at schools. 67 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,479 I think I found one that's good. 68 00:02:36,563 --> 00:02:38,146 - [Leesa] Really? - [Theo] What's it called? 69 00:02:38,229 --> 00:02:38,730 It doesn't matter what it's called. The-- 70 00:02:38,813 --> 00:02:40,813 Yeah, it does. 71 00:02:40,896 --> 00:02:43,438 Is it close? 72 00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:44,646 Yes, it is close, yeah. 73 00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:48,771 [Ben] What have you done so far on, uh, the school front? 74 00:02:48,855 --> 00:02:50,771 I haven't done anything. 75 00:02:50,855 --> 00:02:54,062 Got some brekky for me? [panting] 76 00:02:54,146 --> 00:02:56,938 - [Theo] Why are you so wet? - Been in the pool. 77 00:02:57,021 --> 00:02:58,271 Rags, are you serious with this water footprints 78 00:02:58,354 --> 00:03:00,104 all the way through the living room? 79 00:03:00,187 --> 00:03:01,813 [Rags] I'm hungry, mate. 80 00:03:01,896 --> 00:03:03,187 [Leesa] There's healthier stuff in the cupboard. 81 00:03:03,271 --> 00:03:04,479 Ah, yeah, thank you. Nah, that's cool. 82 00:03:04,563 --> 00:03:06,646 I'll just have a bit of this. 83 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,938 [Leesa] There you go. There's a spoon. 84 00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:11,563 [Rags] Oh, thank you, thank you. You are so good. 85 00:03:11,646 --> 00:03:13,271 - I'll leave you all to it. - [children shouting] 86 00:03:13,354 --> 00:03:15,438 - Thank you, Leesa. - See you. See you. 87 00:03:15,521 --> 00:03:15,980 Later. 88 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,438 Look at this, Rom. 89 00:03:18,521 --> 00:03:20,271 - [Romesh] What? - [Leesa] It's wet everywhere. 90 00:03:20,354 --> 00:03:22,021 What's he even doing out there? 91 00:03:22,104 --> 00:03:24,855 I don't know. [laughing] Oh, my God. 92 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,354 Okay, I've gotta go see this manager now. 93 00:03:27,438 --> 00:03:28,813 - Rags? - Yeah? 94 00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:29,813 [Romesh] We've gotta get ready to go. 95 00:03:29,896 --> 00:03:31,479 Okay, ready. 96 00:03:31,563 --> 00:03:33,646 ♪ If you can make it out here ♪ 97 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,146 ♪ Then you can make it anywhere ♪ 98 00:03:35,229 --> 00:03:37,479 ♪ Anywhere, anywhere ♪ 99 00:03:37,563 --> 00:03:40,062 ♪ I click your album in the damn trash on my desktop ♪ 100 00:03:40,146 --> 00:03:42,479 ♪ If I decide I'm coming for a crown then it's heads off ♪ 101 00:03:42,563 --> 00:03:45,146 ♪ Nah, you probably see me wear a cloud for a hat ♪ 102 00:03:45,229 --> 00:03:46,521 ♪ Are you a clown or a actor, man ♪ 103 00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:47,479 ♪ I'm trying to distinguish ♪ 104 00:03:47,563 --> 00:03:50,354 ♪ What type of a business is this ♪ 105 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,438 Ideally, I wanna see what CV I can get 106 00:03:53,521 --> 00:03:55,104 to sort of raise my profile over here. 107 00:03:55,187 --> 00:03:57,896 If your thing doesn't work, 108 00:03:57,980 --> 00:03:58,813 I've got a really good guy. 109 00:03:58,896 --> 00:04:01,354 - His name is Chuck, right? - Yeah. 110 00:04:01,438 --> 00:04:05,021 And he's, um--he manages a lot of very unique people, man. 111 00:04:05,104 --> 00:04:06,604 All right, so this is just plan B. 112 00:04:06,688 --> 00:04:09,062 Don't worry about it. Let's go and see your manager. 113 00:04:09,146 --> 00:04:11,938 [Romesh] Okay, you are very, very positive. 114 00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:13,730 That's why it's great to have you. 115 00:04:13,813 --> 00:04:14,855 - That's why I'm here. - Yeah. 116 00:04:14,938 --> 00:04:17,855 But we need to keep our expectations realistic, right? 117 00:04:17,938 --> 00:04:19,604 - [Rags] Yeah. - [Romesh] So what I'm saying 118 00:04:19,688 --> 00:04:21,938 - is, if you get too Rags... - [Rags] Yeah. 119 00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:23,855 ...I'm gonna say "potato." 120 00:04:23,938 --> 00:04:25,855 - That means I have to just... - That means you need to... 121 00:04:25,938 --> 00:04:27,438 - ...come down a bit. - Yeah. 122 00:04:27,521 --> 00:04:30,980 All right. So if you're forgetting something 123 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,312 or you're asking the wrong questions, can I go, "bananas"? 124 00:04:33,396 --> 00:04:36,354 Do you mean you're gonna say that word? 125 00:04:36,438 --> 00:04:38,021 Yeah, I'll just say, "I feel like a banana." 126 00:04:38,104 --> 00:04:40,062 - Okay. - Cool? 127 00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:41,813 - Yeah, fine. - Lovely, okay. 128 00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:42,563 ♪ If you can make it out here ♪ 129 00:04:42,646 --> 00:04:44,354 ♪ You'll make it anywhere ♪ 130 00:04:44,438 --> 00:04:46,104 ♪ But all I see is people ♪ 131 00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:47,021 ♪ Trying to make it everywhere ♪ 132 00:04:47,104 --> 00:04:48,813 ♪ Dressed like a tramp ♪ 133 00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:49,521 ♪ When I show up to the premiere ♪ 134 00:04:49,604 --> 00:04:51,688 ♪ Might not know my name ♪ 135 00:04:51,771 --> 00:04:53,646 ♪ But you should be well aware, well aware ♪ 136 00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:54,771 [woman] Uh, you're here because you were t-talking 137 00:04:54,855 --> 00:04:57,229 about you're looking for representation, right? 138 00:04:57,312 --> 00:04:58,730 - [Romesh] Correct, yeah. - [woman] Okay, 139 00:04:58,813 --> 00:04:59,855 - so we're managers. - [Romesh] Yeah. 140 00:04:59,938 --> 00:05:01,604 [woman] So what you're looking for right now 141 00:05:01,688 --> 00:05:05,855 is short-term, let's get butts in seats at the Greek. 142 00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:07,521 - Yes. - I mean, if you really wanna 143 00:05:07,604 --> 00:05:11,229 go for it, you do a bunch of daytime TV shows. 144 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,229 - Yeah. - Are you wanting to act? 145 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,312 I have done some acting in the past. 146 00:05:15,396 --> 00:05:17,730 You know, he doesn't understand how great and how good he is. 147 00:05:17,813 --> 00:05:21,062 He's--I mean, he can play anything, pretty much, right? 148 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,229 - Okay. - [Rags] Give him a part 149 00:05:22,312 --> 00:05:24,062 in Ben-Hur, he can be the-- 150 00:05:24,146 --> 00:05:25,604 - [woman] In Ben-Hur? - Yeah, and he'll-he'll be 151 00:05:25,688 --> 00:05:27,438 - the main man. - [woman] Okay. 152 00:05:27,521 --> 00:05:30,229 Would it offend you to read for us, to do that? 153 00:05:30,312 --> 00:05:33,396 - Uh... - [Rags] So if he does that, 154 00:05:33,479 --> 00:05:36,312 well, then he's assured of a part in movies or... 155 00:05:36,396 --> 00:05:37,938 I think, uh, no. 156 00:05:38,021 --> 00:05:39,855 I'll give it my-- I'll give it my best go. 157 00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:41,396 I am feeling a bit sluggish 'cause I... 158 00:05:41,479 --> 00:05:44,062 I sort of ate a potato earlier, 159 00:05:44,146 --> 00:05:45,438 and it's sort of sitting a bit funny. 160 00:05:45,521 --> 00:05:46,771 [woman] All right, so let's go into the next room, 161 00:05:46,855 --> 00:05:48,104 - okay? And... - Okay. 162 00:05:48,187 --> 00:05:49,438 So, Rom, you don't mind me, uh, 163 00:05:49,521 --> 00:05:50,771 going with you? It's all right? 164 00:05:50,855 --> 00:05:52,229 - Yeah, that's-that's... - You sure? 165 00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:53,104 Yeah, that's fine, my little potato. 166 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,438 You come with me. 167 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:56,563 [camera beeps] 168 00:05:56,646 --> 00:05:58,438 A large, large Coke. 169 00:05:58,521 --> 00:06:00,104 - Ah. - [woman] Good, okay. 170 00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:02,271 Franklin Flowers. We deliver with a smile. 171 00:06:02,354 --> 00:06:04,688 - [laughs] Perfect. - [laughs] 172 00:06:04,771 --> 00:06:06,229 [man] Now as if you're bored with your job 173 00:06:06,312 --> 00:06:07,771 and you're just saying it. 174 00:06:07,855 --> 00:06:08,855 He's been fantastic, hasn't he, so far? 175 00:06:08,938 --> 00:06:10,271 - [Rags] Can I give it a go? - Can you do a line? 176 00:06:10,354 --> 00:06:12,354 Why don't you just sort of couch potato it 177 00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:15,479 for a little bit and I'll just do this, yeah? 178 00:06:15,563 --> 00:06:16,646 Okay. 179 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:18,146 Maybe somebody should feed him. 180 00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:19,771 [Romesh] Yeah, a potato. 181 00:06:19,855 --> 00:06:21,521 - Lots and lots of potato. - [laughs] Okay. 182 00:06:21,604 --> 00:06:23,271 Smash it into his face. 183 00:06:23,354 --> 00:06:24,396 He doesn't like being on the sidelines, I guess. 184 00:06:24,479 --> 00:06:25,438 No, he's just-- he loves bananas. 185 00:06:25,521 --> 00:06:30,271 I said "potato" to that man so much, 186 00:06:30,354 --> 00:06:32,896 and it only pushed him further. 187 00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:34,813 [woman] This is comedy, obviously. 188 00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:35,855 I mean, Terry's a nutcase here. 189 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,229 - [Romesh] Sure. - Do you mind if I just, uh, 190 00:06:38,312 --> 00:06:39,896 have a go at it? Would that be okay with you? 191 00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:40,980 Uh, let the potato have a go. It's fine. 192 00:06:41,062 --> 00:06:43,229 Okay, all right. 193 00:06:43,312 --> 00:06:46,146 Hi, thank you for coming in. 194 00:06:46,229 --> 00:06:47,396 Sure, uh, you wanted to talk to me about something? 195 00:06:47,479 --> 00:06:50,521 Yes, there have been some complaints about you 196 00:06:50,604 --> 00:06:52,980 from some of the other employees. 197 00:06:53,062 --> 00:06:54,312 They say you have a quick temper. 198 00:06:54,396 --> 00:06:55,813 [yelling] What? 199 00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:57,104 I swear, when I find out who said that, 200 00:06:57,187 --> 00:06:59,521 I'm gonna rip his pancreas out through his fucking nostrils! 201 00:06:59,604 --> 00:07:00,980 Calm down. 202 00:07:01,062 --> 00:07:04,688 [laughing maniacally] 203 00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:07,312 Can we go the opposite way, just in case... 204 00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:09,229 You wanna be on camera? All right, go-go ahead. 205 00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:11,021 [Romesh] What became clear is, Rags is actually 206 00:07:11,104 --> 00:07:12,938 more interested in getting himself a manager. 207 00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:15,187 Hi, thank you for coming in. 208 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,896 Take your time. 209 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,354 It's a real hot potato of a script, this one. 210 00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:22,855 [Ben] He was just quite fond of 211 00:07:22,938 --> 00:07:24,855 sort of a dramatic pause, I noticed. 212 00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:26,980 It wasn't--the thing is, it wasn't a dramatic pause. 213 00:07:27,062 --> 00:07:28,688 It looked like a dramatic pause, 214 00:07:28,771 --> 00:07:30,813 but what it was is him trying to find what line he was on. 215 00:07:30,896 --> 00:07:32,396 They say you've got a quick temper. 216 00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:37,479 What? I swear, when I find out who said that, 217 00:07:37,563 --> 00:07:39,312 I'm gonna rip his pancreas out 218 00:07:39,396 --> 00:07:41,730 through his stinking nostrils. 219 00:07:41,813 --> 00:07:42,563 Okay, ca-calm down. 220 00:07:42,646 --> 00:07:45,187 Do you have a split personality? 221 00:07:45,271 --> 00:07:48,563 No! Yes. No! Yes. 222 00:07:48,646 --> 00:07:50,021 [giggles] 223 00:07:51,855 --> 00:07:52,563 That's great. 224 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,354 [woman] Okay, good. [laughs] 225 00:07:55,438 --> 00:07:58,438 Have I got any sort of future in this, do you think, or... 226 00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,396 Um... 227 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,104 [Romesh] How do you think that went? 228 00:08:02,187 --> 00:08:03,730 How do you think it went? 229 00:08:03,813 --> 00:08:05,146 Well, I think you don't understand 230 00:08:05,229 --> 00:08:06,396 what a bloody code word is. 231 00:08:06,479 --> 00:08:08,104 They might not decide to work with me, 232 00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:12,146 and I believe that that is almost entirely down to you. 233 00:08:12,229 --> 00:08:13,730 Wait and see. Chuck might. 234 00:08:13,813 --> 00:08:15,396 - Chuck. Chuck is the man. - Oh, my God. 235 00:08:15,479 --> 00:08:16,896 Forget it. Potato. 236 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,688 - What's wrong? - Potato, potato. 237 00:08:18,771 --> 00:08:20,730 - What's wrong with you? - Potato. Potato! 238 00:08:20,813 --> 00:08:23,813 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 239 00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:27,438 ♪♪♪ 240 00:08:27,521 --> 00:08:28,855 [bottle clinks, hisses] 241 00:08:31,646 --> 00:08:33,187 - Ragamuffin. - Oh. 242 00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:35,771 Thank you. 243 00:08:35,855 --> 00:08:37,354 [Romesh sighs] 244 00:08:37,438 --> 00:08:38,896 Listen, I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you 245 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,396 earlier at the--you know, with Steve and Barb. 246 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,771 Honestly, I was a little bit upset, 247 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,563 but thank you very much for-for the apology. 248 00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:48,688 Everything will be cool from this point. 249 00:08:48,771 --> 00:08:50,604 Well, I had a look at ticket sales today. 250 00:08:50,688 --> 00:08:51,604 - Uh-huh. - And there's actually been 251 00:08:51,688 --> 00:08:54,354 the biggest spike in ticket sales since 252 00:08:54,438 --> 00:08:55,855 they went on sale initially. 253 00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:57,062 Congratulations. How did you do that? 254 00:08:57,146 --> 00:09:01,062 Bizarrely, I actually think it is down to the benches. 255 00:09:01,146 --> 00:09:02,771 - Seriously? - No, honestly, I-- 256 00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:05,980 Thank you. I'm sorry I doubted you. 257 00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:07,896 Man, I'm so happy, Rom, honestly. 258 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:10,730 I feel like I'm choking on this beer, seriously. 259 00:09:10,813 --> 00:09:12,604 That's not really a sign of happiness. 260 00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:13,980 Because it's like, 261 00:09:14,062 --> 00:09:16,187 it won't go down. Like, my throat's, like-- 262 00:09:16,271 --> 00:09:17,980 - Closing up? - Closing up on me, man. 263 00:09:18,062 --> 00:09:20,312 Do you think that's happiness or, like, an allergic reaction? 264 00:09:20,396 --> 00:09:22,479 Pure happiness. 265 00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:27,479 ♪ mellow cha-cha music ♪ 266 00:09:27,563 --> 00:09:32,604 ♪♪♪ 267 00:09:33,062 --> 00:09:34,187 [Romesh] I've been worried 268 00:09:34,271 --> 00:09:37,604 about sorting out this school situation for the kids. 269 00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:40,521 Uh, and I haven't done anywhere near enough for it. 270 00:09:40,604 --> 00:09:42,646 And amazingly, 271 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:45,187 I managed to arrange a tour for today. 272 00:09:45,271 --> 00:09:46,688 I'm really happy you sorted it out because, 273 00:09:46,771 --> 00:09:48,771 you know, you've obviously done a lot of research 274 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,730 and you've taken time out to go and see them all, 275 00:09:51,813 --> 00:09:54,646 so you've done really well. Well done. 276 00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:56,312 - I'm so proud of you. - Are you really proud of me? 277 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,896 - [Leesa] Yeah. - [Romesh] I had sort of implied 278 00:09:57,980 --> 00:10:00,229 to Leesa that I knew about the school 279 00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:02,021 and, in fact, that I'd been there before. 280 00:10:02,104 --> 00:10:04,938 So my mission, uh, on this school tour 281 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:05,980 is to convince her 282 00:10:06,062 --> 00:10:08,646 that I'd already been on a tour of that school. 283 00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:11,688 ♪ upbeat hip-hop music ♪ 284 00:10:11,771 --> 00:10:15,938 ♪♪♪ 285 00:10:18,604 --> 00:10:19,730 - [Leesa] Hello. - [Romesh] Hello. 286 00:10:19,813 --> 00:10:21,479 [woman] Welcome, welcome. 287 00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:22,688 - [Leesa] Thank you very much. - Kim Buckingham. 288 00:10:22,771 --> 00:10:25,479 - Nice to meet you. - Lovely to meet you. 289 00:10:25,563 --> 00:10:27,271 - Hi. Romesh. I don't think-- - Nice to meet you. Welcome. 290 00:10:27,354 --> 00:10:29,062 I don't know if I saw you last time I was round here. 291 00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:31,062 I don't think so. I was in Nashville. 292 00:10:31,146 --> 00:10:32,062 - [Kim] What's your name? - [Theo] Theo. 293 00:10:32,146 --> 00:10:34,062 [Kim] What kind of stuff do you like to do? 294 00:10:34,146 --> 00:10:35,646 - [Theo] Sport. - Do you like sports? 295 00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,563 - Do you like art at all? - [Theo] Yeah. 296 00:10:37,646 --> 00:10:38,479 I've been doing a lot of art with my dad. 297 00:10:38,563 --> 00:10:42,021 - You have? - Yeah, around LA. 298 00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:44,563 Well, have you seen a lot of graffiti? 299 00:10:44,646 --> 00:10:46,438 - Yeah. - I love graffiti. 300 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,521 - [Romesh] Yeah. Yeah, okay. - [Kim] This is Ms. Beja. 301 00:10:47,604 --> 00:10:49,730 - Hello. - [Romesh] Hello. 302 00:10:49,813 --> 00:10:52,104 [Kim] Ms. Beja is the-the queen guru of art. 303 00:10:52,187 --> 00:10:53,396 Nice to see you again. 304 00:10:53,479 --> 00:10:54,563 See, if you are assertive enough 305 00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:57,229 and affirm that you've met someone, 306 00:10:57,312 --> 00:10:59,062 it's very difficult for them to say, "No, we haven't." 307 00:10:59,146 --> 00:11:01,563 Hi. Romesh. I think we met last time I was here. 308 00:11:01,646 --> 00:11:03,396 - Yes, I believe so. - [Romesh] Yeah, yeah. 309 00:11:03,479 --> 00:11:05,521 Also, people get nervous about being accused of racism 310 00:11:05,604 --> 00:11:07,021 when they say they don't-- "I don't remember seeing you." 311 00:11:07,104 --> 00:11:08,187 "Oh, is that 'cause we all look the same?" 312 00:11:08,271 --> 00:11:10,646 [Kim] So these are all the people that the kids study. 313 00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:11,896 - [Leesa] Right. - [Romesh] Oh, I loved this 314 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:13,980 last time I was here. It's great. 315 00:11:14,062 --> 00:11:16,896 I remember seeing, um, Mother Teresa here somewhere. 316 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:17,730 - Is Mother Ter--oh, there. - [Kim] She is. 317 00:11:17,813 --> 00:11:20,396 - There, that's right. - She is. 318 00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,104 [Romesh] I also pulled an incredible little maneuver 319 00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:25,104 of spotting things ahead in the tour 320 00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:28,604 and then announcing that I remember them from last time. 321 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,271 I remember last time I was here, 322 00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:31,813 there was, like, an amazing quote somewhere. 323 00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:33,104 I can't-- 324 00:11:33,187 --> 00:11:35,271 Oh, there it is, that one there. 325 00:11:35,354 --> 00:11:37,438 "When someone tugs on a single thing in nature, 326 00:11:37,521 --> 00:11:39,271 he finds it attached to the rest of the world." 327 00:11:39,354 --> 00:11:40,938 It really stuck with me from last time, that. 328 00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:42,938 I'm glad. I'm glad. Well, we try to do that 329 00:11:43,021 --> 00:11:43,730 - with the kids. - [Romesh] Yeah. 330 00:11:43,813 --> 00:11:46,855 It was incredible. [stammering] 331 00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:47,730 A small part of the tour, I spent thinking, 332 00:11:47,813 --> 00:11:50,104 "Maybe I have been here before." 333 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:52,271 Was there-- there was a "time flies" 334 00:11:52,354 --> 00:11:53,438 thing around here somewhere. 335 00:11:53,521 --> 00:11:56,730 - [Kim] My clock? Here. - [Romesh] Oh, there it is. 336 00:11:56,813 --> 00:11:59,021 The reason I like that clock is 'cause its eyes are like mine, 337 00:11:59,104 --> 00:12:00,813 - if you have a look. - [Leesa] Ah, yeah. 338 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:04,855 [Kim laughing] This way, this way. 339 00:12:04,938 --> 00:12:06,813 Let's have a little seat. 340 00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:08,354 - [woman] Hi, how are you? - [Romesh] I'm good, thank you. 341 00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:09,104 - I'm Martha. - Romesh. How's it going? 342 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,396 I'm the director of the school. 343 00:12:11,479 --> 00:12:13,604 You are Theo. I know that already. 344 00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:15,146 [Romesh] The vibe I get from this place 345 00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:19,688 is arguably a little bit more funky than I would like, 346 00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:20,396 but I don't think it's a problem. 347 00:12:20,479 --> 00:12:21,813 Thank you so much for coming 348 00:12:21,896 --> 00:12:24,521 and having interest in our school. 349 00:12:24,604 --> 00:12:28,104 Tell me what do you think after Kimmy give you the tour? 350 00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:30,646 I sort of--I've seen it before, and I love it, so... 351 00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:33,730 Yeah, and I'm such a massive advocate for the arts. 352 00:12:33,813 --> 00:12:35,229 When you said that you saw it before, 353 00:12:35,312 --> 00:12:36,646 you been here before at the school? 354 00:12:36,730 --> 00:12:37,688 Yes, I had a look around, yeah, a few-- 355 00:12:37,771 --> 00:12:41,688 a few weeks-- a couple weeks ago maybe. 356 00:12:41,771 --> 00:12:45,396 Uh, I was just--we-we're sort of looking for the three boys. 357 00:12:45,479 --> 00:12:48,146 - Three, five, and seven, that's the ages? 358 00:12:48,229 --> 00:12:49,104 Three, six, and eight. 359 00:12:49,187 --> 00:12:52,396 The oldest kid here is seven years old. 360 00:12:52,479 --> 00:12:55,021 We starting at two and a half years old, 361 00:12:55,104 --> 00:12:57,271 and kids have to be potty-trained. 362 00:12:57,354 --> 00:12:59,438 Uh, that's very important to us. 363 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:00,896 Yeah, that may be a problem. [laughs] 364 00:13:03,187 --> 00:13:06,896 Sorry it-it wasn't quite what I was led to believe. 365 00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:08,229 It's just, Charlie's not potty-trained. 366 00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,354 - No. - He can't obviously-- 367 00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:11,021 I don't wanna be in a class with five-year-olds. 368 00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:12,855 They didn't tell me anything about that last time I came. 369 00:13:12,938 --> 00:13:15,521 That's because you never went last time. 370 00:13:15,604 --> 00:13:17,021 You just made this whole thing up. 371 00:13:20,813 --> 00:13:23,813 Okay, I haven't been here before. 372 00:13:23,896 --> 00:13:25,021 I knew you hadn't. You were just pointing at stuff. 373 00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,938 If I tell you why-- it's just 'cause 374 00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:28,896 I wanted you to be reassured and calm. 375 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:30,896 You just lied to me about everything. 376 00:13:30,980 --> 00:13:32,688 It was quite-- I did it quite well, though. 377 00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,646 To the untrained eye, but I knew. 378 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,187 You're trained, are you, in spotting when your husband's 379 00:13:36,271 --> 00:13:36,896 - lying about a school tour? - [Leesa] Yeah. 380 00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:38,896 Is that a course that you did? 381 00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:40,855 I can spot when you lie about everything. 382 00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:43,312 All right, come on, let's go. I'm thinking home school. 383 00:13:43,396 --> 00:13:44,062 [Leesa] Ah, we'll see. 384 00:13:44,146 --> 00:13:45,396 But we don't call it home school. 385 00:13:45,479 --> 00:13:46,896 We call it--we call it 386 00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:49,730 the Ranganathans' Emporium of Education. 387 00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:52,771 ♪ upbeat hip-hop music ♪ 388 00:13:52,855 --> 00:13:57,062 ♪♪♪ 389 00:14:05,771 --> 00:14:07,896 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome 390 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:10,688 to Ranganathans' Emporium of Education. 391 00:14:10,771 --> 00:14:13,229 The host of the show tonight: 392 00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:17,354 Romesh Ranganathan! 393 00:14:17,438 --> 00:14:19,104 [Romesh] Hello! 394 00:14:19,187 --> 00:14:21,187 [game show music playing on cell phone] 395 00:14:21,271 --> 00:14:23,312 [laughter] 396 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,771 [Rags] Come on, clap, guys. 397 00:14:24,855 --> 00:14:26,187 Okay, cut it. 398 00:14:26,271 --> 00:14:28,146 Hello, and welcome to 399 00:14:28,229 --> 00:14:30,396 Ranganathans' Emporium of Education. 400 00:14:30,479 --> 00:14:32,521 How we doing? 401 00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,646 - Good! - Excellent. 402 00:14:34,730 --> 00:14:36,354 When you think of homeschooling, 403 00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:38,187 you think of sort of a smelly hippie parent 404 00:14:38,271 --> 00:14:41,062 reading to their kid, asking them a question. 405 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,229 That's kind of the image of homeschooling. 406 00:14:43,312 --> 00:14:46,813 I'm trying to show Leesa she has to think outside of that 407 00:14:46,896 --> 00:14:49,146 sort of hippie-ish box. 408 00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:51,354 - Hello, Alex, how are you? - Good. 409 00:14:51,438 --> 00:14:52,980 Okay, go for it. Spin the wheel! 410 00:14:53,062 --> 00:14:56,062 - [Leesa cheering] - [game show music playing] 411 00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:58,646 [Romesh] Maths, your question is on maths. 412 00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:02,771 Alex, what is 25 plus three? 413 00:15:02,855 --> 00:15:05,604 - Twenty-eight. - Congratulations! 414 00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:08,146 You have a point, yay! 415 00:15:08,229 --> 00:15:11,229 - [Leesa] You got a point. - [Romesh] Next up is... 416 00:15:11,312 --> 00:15:12,980 Charlie Ranganathan. 417 00:15:13,062 --> 00:15:13,980 Come on up here. 418 00:15:14,062 --> 00:15:17,521 Okay, Charlie, would you like to spin the wheel? 419 00:15:17,604 --> 00:15:18,855 - [children laugh] - [Leesa] Yay. [clapping] 420 00:15:18,938 --> 00:15:22,688 - [Alex] Next up... - [all] Science. 421 00:15:22,771 --> 00:15:24,354 [Romesh] Your science question is, 422 00:15:24,438 --> 00:15:27,521 what do you call the white things in the sky? 423 00:15:27,604 --> 00:15:29,187 Mm, clouds. 424 00:15:29,271 --> 00:15:31,021 - [Romesh] Clouds, well done. - Yay. 425 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:32,396 Congratulations. 426 00:15:32,479 --> 00:15:35,354 They're all into it, and I'm like-- 427 00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:37,104 I-I started to, like, think, "Oh, my God, I've smashed this 428 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,938 even harder than I thought I was gonna smash it. 429 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:43,021 In which country would you find the city Paris? 430 00:15:43,104 --> 00:15:44,438 France? 431 00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:46,771 [Romesh] France is the correct answer, well done. 432 00:15:46,855 --> 00:15:49,730 But gradually, as each round went on 433 00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:52,604 and the novelty of it sort of dissipated, 434 00:15:52,688 --> 00:15:53,813 they started to question the rules. 435 00:15:53,896 --> 00:15:56,688 They started to question my authority. 436 00:15:56,771 --> 00:15:59,521 - [Charlie squealing] - What is seven times three? 437 00:15:59,604 --> 00:16:01,062 [Theo] Dad, this is boring. 438 00:16:01,146 --> 00:16:03,229 - [Romesh] Why? - 'Cause it is. 439 00:16:03,312 --> 00:16:04,813 They started taking sweets 440 00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:06,312 when they hadn't got sweets on the wheel. 441 00:16:06,396 --> 00:16:08,855 Theo, no. Boys, no. Boys. 442 00:16:08,938 --> 00:16:10,813 What is three plus four? 443 00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:12,730 Uh... 444 00:16:12,813 --> 00:16:13,980 Leesa and I have a difference of opinion on how that went. 445 00:16:14,062 --> 00:16:15,479 I mean, we both--we don't have 446 00:16:15,563 --> 00:16:16,563 a difference of opinion that it was bad. 447 00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:19,730 - [Charlie wailing] - [Romesh] Charlie, Charlie. 448 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:23,021 But what I think is, that is step one 449 00:16:23,104 --> 00:16:25,563 in making homeschooling work, whereas Leesa sees that 450 00:16:25,646 --> 00:16:26,896 as very strong evidence that we shouldn't be homeschooling. 451 00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:29,146 Okay, that is all we've got time for. 452 00:16:29,229 --> 00:16:32,062 Do we get a prize? You haven't worked out who's won. 453 00:16:32,146 --> 00:16:35,688 [Romesh] The prize for the whole family is... 454 00:16:35,771 --> 00:16:37,146 - [Rags] Oh. - Just use that for a bit. 455 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,730 Which basically means that from now on, 456 00:16:39,813 --> 00:16:42,938 Leesa is taking control of educating our kids. 457 00:16:43,021 --> 00:16:45,062 Where are you going--no, you can't take the Skittles. 458 00:16:45,146 --> 00:16:48,479 I'm gonna go smash this to pieces. Bye. 459 00:16:48,563 --> 00:16:51,354 [Leesa] Think of your waistline. 460 00:16:53,021 --> 00:16:55,980 ♪ mellow hip-hop music ♪ 461 00:16:56,062 --> 00:16:58,271 ♪♪♪ 462 00:16:58,354 --> 00:16:59,438 [Ben] What's happening today? 463 00:16:59,521 --> 00:17:02,604 [Romesh] Well, today is a big deal because, uh, 464 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:03,980 shockingly, despite Rags sabotaging the meeting, 465 00:17:04,062 --> 00:17:06,229 Steve and Barb have got me a part 466 00:17:06,312 --> 00:17:10,229 in The Young and the Restless, the soap opera. 467 00:17:10,312 --> 00:17:11,771 [indistinct chatter] 468 00:17:11,855 --> 00:17:13,563 I'm in quite a few scenes. 469 00:17:13,646 --> 00:17:14,521 - Are you? - Yeah. 470 00:17:14,604 --> 00:17:15,771 That's brilliant, mate. 471 00:17:15,855 --> 00:17:17,229 I've only got three lines, though. 472 00:17:17,312 --> 00:17:18,938 I am happy, obviously, because I said to them, 473 00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:21,021 "I need to get TV exposure before the Greek," 474 00:17:21,104 --> 00:17:22,938 and they've sorted out TV exposure before the Greek. 475 00:17:23,062 --> 00:17:24,104 This is good, right? I'm doing TV. 476 00:17:24,187 --> 00:17:27,021 I'm doing television in America. 477 00:17:27,104 --> 00:17:29,271 I am gonna be on TV in America, 478 00:17:29,354 --> 00:17:32,521 in a soap opera, The Young and the Restless. 479 00:17:32,604 --> 00:17:34,312 I've actually fucking heard of it. 480 00:17:34,396 --> 00:17:36,479 Can you read some lines with me? 481 00:17:36,563 --> 00:17:37,396 You want me to help you just with that? 482 00:17:37,479 --> 00:17:39,396 - Yes. - Which one you talking about? 483 00:17:39,479 --> 00:17:41,813 I'm cameraman. You read all the other lines. 484 00:17:41,896 --> 00:17:42,479 Right, so I start with Hilary? 485 00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:44,312 Yeah. 486 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,229 Let's take five and we'll see what else we can get, yeah? 487 00:17:47,312 --> 00:17:49,980 [with American accent] So we're staying here, then? 488 00:17:50,062 --> 00:17:51,479 That's the plan? 489 00:17:51,563 --> 00:17:53,062 So you're do--gonna do a American accent? 490 00:17:53,146 --> 00:17:54,646 [normal voice] Yeah, what do you think? 491 00:17:54,730 --> 00:17:56,354 It's pretty good. I reckon it's good. 492 00:17:56,438 --> 00:17:57,896 [Romesh] I could do it with an English accent. 493 00:17:57,980 --> 00:17:59,479 Of course I could. But I've done-- 494 00:17:59,563 --> 00:18:01,980 All of the acting I've done has been with an English accent. 495 00:18:02,062 --> 00:18:04,479 You know, what would be great is to show 496 00:18:04,563 --> 00:18:06,396 that I've got it in my locker 497 00:18:06,479 --> 00:18:08,271 to do a convincing American accent. 498 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,896 [with Southern accent] So we're staying here, then? 499 00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:11,771 That's the plan-- is that what the plan-- 500 00:18:11,855 --> 00:18:13,438 goddamn plan, we're staying here? 501 00:18:13,521 --> 00:18:14,521 Hmm. 502 00:18:14,604 --> 00:18:16,688 I've been to other auditions where they've gone, 503 00:18:16,771 --> 00:18:18,021 "Oh, we want an American accent," or whatever. 504 00:18:18,104 --> 00:18:19,730 Now I can just go, "Yeah, I've done it. 505 00:18:19,813 --> 00:18:20,813 I did it in The Young and the Restless." 506 00:18:20,896 --> 00:18:22,771 [with New York accent] So we're staying here, then, 507 00:18:22,855 --> 00:18:24,187 that's the plan? 508 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,855 So we're staying here, then, that's the plan? 509 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,771 You were doing the Al Pacino just before that, right? 510 00:18:27,855 --> 00:18:29,354 - No. - What? 511 00:18:29,438 --> 00:18:30,813 Just--I'm just mixing it up. 512 00:18:30,896 --> 00:18:32,187 - All right, yeah. - [knock at door] 513 00:18:32,271 --> 00:18:34,312 - Hello. Hi, Mishael. - Hey. I'm--yes, hi. 514 00:18:34,396 --> 00:18:35,646 - How you doing? How you doing? - Good. 515 00:18:35,730 --> 00:18:36,521 - This is my Uncle Rags. - Hi, Mishael. 516 00:18:36,604 --> 00:18:38,354 - Hi. Mishael. - Yeah, nice to meet you. 517 00:18:38,438 --> 00:18:39,396 - Nice to meet you. - How you doing? 518 00:18:39,479 --> 00:18:40,938 - Good. - Oh, excellent. 519 00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:42,438 [Mishael] We're working together today. 520 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,855 - [Rags] Oh, wow. - So I just wanted to see 521 00:18:43,938 --> 00:18:45,688 how things are going. 522 00:18:45,771 --> 00:18:47,896 Well, I'm just trying to figure out how to play this. 523 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,479 Okay. 524 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:50,146 [Romesh] So I was just trying the different accents out. 525 00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:52,521 Do you wanna run this scene? 526 00:18:52,604 --> 00:18:53,521 - [Mishael] Sure, let's run it. - [Romesh] Ready? 527 00:18:53,604 --> 00:18:55,062 Ready. 528 00:18:55,146 --> 00:18:56,021 Okay, let's take five, and then we'll-- 529 00:18:56,104 --> 00:18:58,354 we'll see what we can get. 530 00:18:58,438 --> 00:18:59,563 [with New York accent] So we're staying here, then, 531 00:18:59,646 --> 00:19:01,938 that's the plan? 532 00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:05,604 Um, well, it's my name on the titles and not yours, 533 00:19:05,688 --> 00:19:07,021 so the plan is, do whatever I want 534 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,521 whenever I want-- sound like a plan? 535 00:19:08,604 --> 00:19:09,563 I just kinda thought this gig would involve 536 00:19:09,646 --> 00:19:13,396 a little bit more, you know, celebrity interaction. 537 00:19:13,479 --> 00:19:15,604 [normal voice] What about if I did it down South? 538 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:16,938 [with Southern accent] So we're staying here, then? 539 00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:19,396 That's the plan? 540 00:19:19,479 --> 00:19:19,980 Yeah, I think that's great. 541 00:19:20,062 --> 00:19:21,229 You really--that worked? 542 00:19:21,312 --> 00:19:23,312 We'll see what the director says, okay? 543 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:24,896 Okay, thank you. Thanks, Mishael. 544 00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:25,646 I really appreciate it. I'll see you in a bit. 545 00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:27,229 You take care. Okay, good luck. 546 00:19:27,312 --> 00:19:28,479 - [Rags] Thank you. - Thanks. 547 00:19:28,563 --> 00:19:29,104 So what was that all about? 548 00:19:29,187 --> 00:19:31,354 It wasn't about anything. 549 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,771 Before that, when you were doing it with me, 550 00:19:33,855 --> 00:19:36,730 you did a great job. Then you just went down. 551 00:19:36,813 --> 00:19:38,104 [with thick New York accent] So we're staying here, then? 552 00:19:38,187 --> 00:19:38,688 That's the plan? 553 00:19:38,771 --> 00:19:41,396 That's better, 554 00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:42,938 so much better. 555 00:19:43,021 --> 00:19:46,646 ♪ mellow music ♪ 556 00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,438 [Ben] You really wanna do the accent? 557 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,813 If I can only do an English accent, 558 00:19:50,896 --> 00:19:52,062 then I'm straight-- I'm limited. 559 00:19:52,146 --> 00:19:54,438 I'm already limited by my look. 560 00:19:54,521 --> 00:19:55,730 [man] And go. 561 00:19:55,813 --> 00:19:56,771 Victoria Newman, care to comment 562 00:19:56,855 --> 00:19:58,771 - on the Newman sex scandal? - [man] Perfect. 563 00:19:58,855 --> 00:20:00,438 Do you know what I mean? So what I don't wanna do 564 00:20:00,521 --> 00:20:02,229 is put another restriction on that by not being able 565 00:20:02,312 --> 00:20:04,146 to play parts that require an American accent. 566 00:20:04,229 --> 00:20:06,187 Can I just ask, what accent would you like from me? 567 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,771 'Cause I can sort of do, like-- like, I could go, like... 568 00:20:08,855 --> 00:20:09,563 [with New York accent] Really? We're standing here? 569 00:20:09,646 --> 00:20:11,604 That's the plan? You know, or... 570 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,813 [with Southern accent] We're standing here? That's the plan? 571 00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:14,604 Have you spoken yet in-in that last one? 572 00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:16,396 - No. - This is the first time? 573 00:20:16,479 --> 00:20:18,021 - Yeah. Okay. - Try the American accent. 574 00:20:18,104 --> 00:20:18,688 - See how that feels. - All right, cool. 575 00:20:18,771 --> 00:20:19,771 Let's hear it. 576 00:20:19,855 --> 00:20:21,521 [with New York accent] We're just gonna stand here? 577 00:20:21,604 --> 00:20:22,771 [normal voice] No, that's too much. 578 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,646 [with various accents] So we're just gonna stay here, then? 579 00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:26,271 That's the plan? That's the plan? 580 00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:28,271 What, we're gonna just stand here? That's the plan? 581 00:20:28,354 --> 00:20:30,312 Do you think I sound American when I say this? 582 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,396 So we're staying here, then? That's the plan? 583 00:20:32,479 --> 00:20:33,479 As far as the words 584 00:20:33,563 --> 00:20:35,021 - or your accent? - My accent. 585 00:20:35,104 --> 00:20:35,688 So we're gonna stand-- stay here, then? 586 00:20:35,771 --> 00:20:38,062 That's the plan? 587 00:20:38,146 --> 00:20:40,021 So we're staying here, then? That's the plan? 588 00:20:40,104 --> 00:20:41,396 Yeah. 589 00:20:41,479 --> 00:20:42,813 Think I forgot my shovel. Is that too much? 590 00:20:42,896 --> 00:20:44,730 Is that your line? 591 00:20:46,187 --> 00:20:47,479 [whispering] Fucking hell. 592 00:20:47,563 --> 00:20:49,104 - [Romesh] Forgot. - For-got. 593 00:20:49,187 --> 00:20:51,271 [Romesh] Forgot. I think I forgot my shovel. 594 00:20:51,354 --> 00:20:52,855 I think I forgot my shovel. 595 00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:54,021 - Like that? - Mm-hmm. 596 00:20:54,104 --> 00:20:56,104 So we're staying here, then? That's the plan? How's that? 597 00:20:56,187 --> 00:20:57,021 - Sounds good to me. - That was pretty good. 598 00:20:57,104 --> 00:20:58,271 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 599 00:20:58,354 --> 00:21:00,730 I'm Romanian, so... [laughs] 600 00:21:00,813 --> 00:21:02,980 Oh, Jesus Christ, why am I even talking to you? 601 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,438 [buzzer blares] 602 00:21:05,104 --> 00:21:07,938 [man] Scene four, take one. 603 00:21:08,021 --> 00:21:09,521 Quiet on set. 604 00:21:09,604 --> 00:21:11,021 Action. 605 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,813 Keep clicking for more buzzworthy content 606 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,563 live as they happen. 607 00:21:15,396 --> 00:21:17,354 All right, let's-let's take five 608 00:21:17,438 --> 00:21:19,021 and see what else we can get. 609 00:21:19,104 --> 00:21:20,438 [with New York accent] So we're just gonna stand he-- 610 00:21:20,521 --> 00:21:22,354 - stand here? That's the plan? - [man] Cut! 611 00:21:22,438 --> 00:21:23,813 - [buzzer blares] - [Romesh] Look. 612 00:21:23,896 --> 00:21:24,813 [man] Go with the British accent. 613 00:21:24,896 --> 00:21:27,938 [man] Reset. 614 00:21:28,021 --> 00:21:29,730 [normal voice] Okay. 615 00:21:29,813 --> 00:21:31,730 Disappointment in there. I actually thought I'd got it. 616 00:21:31,813 --> 00:21:33,396 [Ben] So you're retiring your American accent? 617 00:21:33,479 --> 00:21:36,146 [with urban accent] Hell no, motherfucker. 618 00:21:36,229 --> 00:21:39,354 I'ma do my American accent whenever it's required, shit. 619 00:21:39,438 --> 00:21:41,688 [normal voice] We're staying here, then? That's the plan? 620 00:21:41,771 --> 00:21:43,312 [with urban accent] That's the plan? 621 00:21:43,396 --> 00:21:43,896 That's the plan, we're just staying here? 622 00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:45,312 That's the plan? 623 00:21:45,396 --> 00:21:47,855 [normal voice] I figured this job would involve 624 00:21:47,938 --> 00:21:50,062 a little bit more, you know, like, celebrity interaction. 625 00:21:50,146 --> 00:21:52,021 [with urban accent] How do you like them camera actions, bitch? 626 00:21:52,104 --> 00:21:53,396 I'm playing this motherfucking focus 627 00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,688 like a goddamn accordion, motherfucker! 628 00:21:55,771 --> 00:21:57,021 [normal voice] I think I forgot my shovel, 629 00:21:57,104 --> 00:21:58,646 so if you need me, I'll be on my phone. 630 00:21:58,730 --> 00:21:59,813 [with urban accent] I think I forgot my shovel. 631 00:21:59,896 --> 00:22:01,521 If you need me, 632 00:22:01,604 --> 00:22:04,062 I'ma be on my motherfucking telepohoney, bitch. 633 00:22:04,146 --> 00:22:05,730 Bam! Gotcha! 634 00:22:05,813 --> 00:22:07,479 See you later. Cameraman out. Fuck y'all! 635 00:22:09,604 --> 00:22:12,271 [Romesh] I'm happy, like, I've done it, 636 00:22:12,354 --> 00:22:16,229 and I think, like, once I'd sort of overcome 637 00:22:16,312 --> 00:22:20,479 the kinda disappointment of not doing an accent, 638 00:22:20,563 --> 00:22:21,563 I actually thought I did all right, 639 00:22:21,646 --> 00:22:22,521 do you know what I mean? 640 00:22:22,604 --> 00:22:25,271 I did speak to the producer. 641 00:22:25,354 --> 00:22:28,229 And it seems that the show is not on till 642 00:22:28,312 --> 00:22:31,438 after the Greek show. 643 00:22:31,521 --> 00:22:33,646 - What's the goal with that? - Are you shitting me? 644 00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:35,187 A hundred percent definitely 645 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:36,438 that it's not on till after the Greek? 646 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,938 Hundred percent. You go and ask him. 647 00:22:39,021 --> 00:22:41,271 Seriously, man, I think we gotta do something else. 648 00:22:41,354 --> 00:22:42,521 My Chuck is the man. 649 00:22:42,604 --> 00:22:45,855 Let's go see him, and he'll sort it out, all right? 650 00:22:45,938 --> 00:22:47,855 [sighs] 651 00:22:47,938 --> 00:22:50,104 Okay. 652 00:22:50,187 --> 00:22:53,146 ♪ eerie hip-hop music ♪ 653 00:22:53,229 --> 00:22:57,813 ♪♪♪ 654 00:22:57,896 --> 00:23:00,896 [Rags] He deals with entertainers, everybody, man. 655 00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:01,980 He's gonna solve all our problems, right? 656 00:23:02,062 --> 00:23:04,146 He's the man. 657 00:23:04,229 --> 00:23:05,771 Why are we meeting him here? 658 00:23:05,855 --> 00:23:06,938 Well, because it's, uh, Friday Fright Night, mate. 659 00:23:07,021 --> 00:23:10,896 ♪♪♪ 660 00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:14,563 This guy is gonna get you on TV immediately, mate. 661 00:23:14,646 --> 00:23:16,396 It's gonna be done tonight. 662 00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:18,187 This is where it's gonna be shot, right? 663 00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:19,771 Hey, Chuck. 664 00:23:19,855 --> 00:23:21,312 - [Chuck] Oh! - [Rags] How you doing, man? 665 00:23:21,396 --> 00:23:22,813 - My friend Rags. - Long time, no see, bro. 666 00:23:22,896 --> 00:23:24,229 [Chuck] Great to see you again. 667 00:23:24,312 --> 00:23:26,438 Why do you look so good? You look terrific. 668 00:23:26,521 --> 00:23:28,271 - Oh, you look great too. - [Chuck] Oh, thank you. 669 00:23:28,354 --> 00:23:31,021 - That's my mate Chuck. - Hi. Romesh. Nice to meet you. 670 00:23:31,104 --> 00:23:32,354 This the guy I was talking about. 671 00:23:32,438 --> 00:23:33,896 I saw your clips. 672 00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:36,563 You do a hell of a great job. You're fantastic. 673 00:23:36,646 --> 00:23:38,062 - Thank you very much. - [Chuck] Really good. 674 00:23:38,146 --> 00:23:39,938 How you doing mate? You all right? 675 00:23:40,021 --> 00:23:41,980 He introduced me to his guy Chuck Harris, 676 00:23:42,062 --> 00:23:45,021 who looks like the stereotypical agent. 677 00:23:45,104 --> 00:23:46,813 Big glasses, a cigar, the... 678 00:23:46,896 --> 00:23:47,771 [with New York accent] "I'm gonna make you a star, kid. 679 00:23:47,855 --> 00:23:49,271 You're really funny," and all that shit. 680 00:23:49,354 --> 00:23:52,104 I understand we-we-- we're here 681 00:23:52,187 --> 00:23:53,938 to promote this young man over here. 682 00:23:54,021 --> 00:23:56,855 Definitely, man. We gotta sell 6,000 tickets. 683 00:23:56,938 --> 00:23:58,813 - If they saw what I saw... - Yeah. 684 00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:00,187 [Chuck] ...we're gonna sell it. I'm serious. 685 00:24:00,271 --> 00:24:01,646 Are these, uh, guys... 686 00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:03,187 Yeah, these are two clients of mine. 687 00:24:03,271 --> 00:24:04,646 - Right. - I'm the Dragon Lady. 688 00:24:04,730 --> 00:24:05,563 - You're the Dragon Lady? Right. - Yes. 689 00:24:05,646 --> 00:24:07,896 [Chuck] And this is known as the Wolf Boy. 690 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:08,730 - Wolf Boy? Right. - [man] Man now. 691 00:24:08,813 --> 00:24:10,604 He's been with me for so many years 692 00:24:10,688 --> 00:24:13,312 that he was the Wolf Boy; now he's the Wolf Man. 693 00:24:13,396 --> 00:24:16,563 His whole body is covered with hair. 694 00:24:16,646 --> 00:24:18,354 And Tiamat here... 695 00:24:18,438 --> 00:24:20,062 I'm a male-to-female transsexual. 696 00:24:20,146 --> 00:24:22,021 [Rags] Right, that's what it is. I was just wondering, 697 00:24:22,104 --> 00:24:23,062 because that's why he called you "she." 698 00:24:23,146 --> 00:24:26,229 Yes, I'm also, uh, transforming into a reptilian-- 699 00:24:26,312 --> 00:24:28,896 into a dragon, a serpent dragon in particular, yes. 700 00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:30,021 - That's really cool. - I'm doing a full-body 701 00:24:30,104 --> 00:24:32,563 - 100 percent transformation. - [Rags] Love that. 702 00:24:32,646 --> 00:24:33,479 My ears are gone. See my ears are gone? 703 00:24:33,563 --> 00:24:36,062 - [Rags] Oh, yeah. - My nose. 704 00:24:36,146 --> 00:24:39,563 [Rags] Right, oh, even the tongue's pretty much lizard. 705 00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:42,312 I think I'm a little serious about this. 706 00:24:42,396 --> 00:24:44,396 Rags, can I have a quick word with you, please? 707 00:24:44,479 --> 00:24:45,771 Yeah, we're just gonna go hang out, 708 00:24:45,855 --> 00:24:47,438 and then we'll come back in a bit. 709 00:24:47,521 --> 00:24:48,980 Just two minutes, we'll have a little chat, you know. 710 00:24:49,062 --> 00:24:50,730 Please do, yeah. 711 00:24:50,813 --> 00:24:51,730 [Romesh] What the fuck is that? 712 00:24:51,813 --> 00:24:55,062 [Rags] That's just two of his clients. 713 00:24:55,146 --> 00:24:57,062 This guy is very famous. 714 00:24:57,146 --> 00:24:58,062 You know what he does, right? 715 00:24:58,146 --> 00:25:01,438 Yeah, no, ju--he does also unique people. 716 00:25:01,521 --> 00:25:02,938 [Romesh] He's a freak show agent. 717 00:25:03,021 --> 00:25:04,438 [Tiamat screams] 718 00:25:04,521 --> 00:25:05,938 You understand? Look at that. 719 00:25:06,021 --> 00:25:07,187 - [woman] But you have a-- - [hisses] 720 00:25:07,271 --> 00:25:08,646 Okay, I was not expecting that. 721 00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:09,938 It's not a freak show. 722 00:25:10,021 --> 00:25:11,771 Well, 723 00:25:11,855 --> 00:25:14,521 the other two people that are gonna be doing this 724 00:25:14,604 --> 00:25:16,563 are the Wolf Man and the Dragon Lady. 725 00:25:16,646 --> 00:25:20,104 I'm not signing with him. You know that, right? 726 00:25:20,187 --> 00:25:22,354 This is a good opportunity, but he's not gonna be my manager. 727 00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:24,229 I just want you to get that into your head. 728 00:25:24,312 --> 00:25:27,021 Okay, we'll-we'll talk about the agent thing later on, okay? 729 00:25:27,104 --> 00:25:28,938 Let's get this show on the road, 730 00:25:29,021 --> 00:25:30,563 and then we'll sell the tickets. That's what matters. 731 00:25:30,646 --> 00:25:35,104 Because this TV show is gonna be before 21st. 732 00:25:35,187 --> 00:25:36,813 All right? You get that? 733 00:25:36,896 --> 00:25:39,146 This show will be on TV everywhere. 734 00:25:39,229 --> 00:25:42,021 ♪ mellow music ♪ 735 00:25:42,104 --> 00:25:43,479 Sorry, we were just having a little-- 736 00:25:43,563 --> 00:25:45,438 Um, so what is going on tonight, then? 737 00:25:45,521 --> 00:25:49,104 We're gonna do a special interview with you out there, 738 00:25:49,187 --> 00:25:52,146 and we have to promote Dark Harbor. 739 00:25:52,229 --> 00:25:53,646 - [Romesh] Okay. - [Chuck] Yeah, because that's 740 00:25:53,730 --> 00:25:55,563 connected to what this is. 741 00:25:55,646 --> 00:25:58,312 But you can still talk about what we're gonna do for you 742 00:25:58,396 --> 00:26:00,354 to get you--everybody should know who you are. 743 00:26:00,438 --> 00:26:01,312 So I just give this a plug, give me a plug, basically. 744 00:26:01,396 --> 00:26:03,396 - [Chuck] Right. - Okay. 745 00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:06,021 I wanna take the footage and I wanna 746 00:26:06,104 --> 00:26:08,688 play it all through Southern California. 747 00:26:08,771 --> 00:26:10,104 That's where the money is. 748 00:26:10,187 --> 00:26:11,813 That's ama-- thank you very much. 749 00:26:11,896 --> 00:26:13,271 So that's what we're doing tonight? 750 00:26:13,354 --> 00:26:14,146 - Right, right. - [Romesh] Oh, wow. 751 00:26:14,229 --> 00:26:19,062 ♪♪♪ 752 00:26:19,146 --> 00:26:21,312 Hey, everyone, I'm here with Romesh. 753 00:26:21,396 --> 00:26:23,354 - How are you doing tonight? - Uh, very good, thank you. 754 00:26:23,438 --> 00:26:25,312 I wanna know, what are you known for 755 00:26:25,396 --> 00:26:27,021 here at Dark Harbor? 756 00:26:27,104 --> 00:26:30,563 Uh, well, I'm just here sort of enjoying Dark Harbor 757 00:26:30,646 --> 00:26:32,021 and sort of seeing what it's about. 758 00:26:32,104 --> 00:26:33,146 But I'm actually a comedian from the UK. 759 00:26:33,229 --> 00:26:35,312 I'm doing a stand-up comedy show at the Greek Theatre 760 00:26:35,396 --> 00:26:37,896 on the 21st of December. 761 00:26:37,980 --> 00:26:39,187 - [Ben] You got on TV. - Yeah. 762 00:26:39,271 --> 00:26:42,855 I mean, it's not the way that I thought it was gonna go down. 763 00:26:42,938 --> 00:26:44,604 - Are you gonna have a mask? - [man whooshing] 764 00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:46,771 - A mask or... - [Romesh] Rags delivered. 765 00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:48,730 It's a little bit sticky because they thought 766 00:26:48,813 --> 00:26:51,104 I was involved with Dark Harbor in some way as, 767 00:26:51,187 --> 00:26:54,354 like, a horror thing, but I plugged my show. 768 00:26:54,438 --> 00:26:57,062 Rags has given me 769 00:26:57,146 --> 00:26:59,688 the biggest coverage that I've got so far, 770 00:26:59,771 --> 00:27:03,146 so I'm satisfied with the result. 771 00:27:03,229 --> 00:27:05,271 ♪ upbeat news broadcast music ♪ 772 00:27:05,354 --> 00:27:06,813 ♪ wacky music ♪ 773 00:27:06,896 --> 00:27:08,563 Hey, everyone, my name is Kiyra Lynn, 774 00:27:08,646 --> 00:27:10,021 and right now, I'm here at the Queen Mary 775 00:27:10,104 --> 00:27:12,646 - for their Dark Harbor event... - [whistling, whooshing] 776 00:27:12,730 --> 00:27:14,688 ...celebrating Halloween. 777 00:27:14,771 --> 00:27:17,062 You absolutely need to come and check this out. 778 00:27:17,146 --> 00:27:21,021 I got a chance to speak with some of the event ambassadors. 779 00:27:21,104 --> 00:27:21,563 Let's take a look. 780 00:27:21,646 --> 00:27:23,938 I am the Dragon Lady. 781 00:27:24,021 --> 00:27:25,563 [hammer tapping] 782 00:27:25,646 --> 00:27:27,354 The Wolf Man. 783 00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:28,730 I'm Romesh Ranganathan. 784 00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:29,563 One, two, three. 785 00:27:29,646 --> 00:27:32,730 - [stapler clicks] - Oh! [laughs] 786 00:27:32,813 --> 00:27:36,062 Can you give me the best scream? 787 00:27:36,146 --> 00:27:39,021 [screaming] 788 00:27:41,938 --> 00:27:43,021 Absolute prick. 789 00:27:43,104 --> 00:27:46,771 ♪ Strange U's "Bullet Proof Mustache" playing ♪ 790 00:27:46,855 --> 00:27:49,521 ♪♪♪ 791 00:27:49,604 --> 00:27:51,980 ♪ Twelve little simians jumping upon the bed ♪ 792 00:27:52,062 --> 00:27:54,855 ♪ One fell the fuck off, landed, and bumped his head ♪ 793 00:27:54,938 --> 00:27:57,896 ♪ His mother called the doctor and this is what he said ♪ 794 00:27:57,980 --> 00:28:00,771 ♪ "Smoke dust till the ambulance runs a red" ♪ 795 00:28:00,855 --> 00:28:03,646 ♪ Pandora, opening up the damn box ♪ 796 00:28:03,730 --> 00:28:06,396 ♪ Dash a whale in the ocean like John Hancock ♪ 797 00:28:06,479 --> 00:28:08,771 ♪ Damn, when he's finished grabbing his balls ♪ 798 00:28:08,855 --> 00:28:10,563 ♪ He sat with a half a gram ♪ 799 00:28:10,646 --> 00:28:11,813 ♪ And some British amateur porn ♪ 800 00:28:13,896 --> 00:28:16,813 [bright tone]