[bright tone]
♪ sedate orchestral music ♪
- [Romesh] Are you excited? - [Leesa] I am excited.
- I'm looking forward to it. - About moving?
It's loads of-- I've got those worries.
I just want to get it clear-- about moving to LA.
Oh, no, it is exciting, but, you know,
there's lots of stuff to sort out.
♪♪♪
- You can talk American, right? - Yeah.
[Romesh] Say "Hello, Daddy. My name's Theo."
[nasal drawl] Hello, Daddy. My name's Theo.
[Leesa] That's how you're trying to convince me?
You know, have you thought about your look, for example?
How Americans are gonna take you?
What do you mean?
Well...
- [Leesa] Maybe you should... - Awkward pause
while she tries not to be racist.
No, go on. What is the--
What is the problem with my look?
Maybe you should
think about joining a gym
when you're out in LA,
eating a bit healthily...
The whole thing about being a comic
is to be slightly fat. That's funnier, isn't it?
I'm just thinking of your health.
I mean, you're 40 next year, aren't you?
[Romesh] I'm not in bad shape.
When was the last time you saw Daddy
do some exercise, Theo?
Mmm.
Last year.
♪ energetic rap music ♪
♪♪♪
Oh, God.
♪ sedate orchestral music ♪
♪♪♪
It's not that hard, man. I know that you haven't
played for a while either,
but back in the old days,
I could just run up
- and dunk that easily. - Yeah.
No problem at all.
I--I mean, I didn't play
professional basketball, but, you know--
You didn't play professionally?
- [Rags] No, friendly. - No.
- Friendly games. - [Romesh] Right.
But I was fucking good at it, man.
Yeah, yeah.
See?
I do have a slight issue.
With what?
Well, first of all, I'm shit at this,
but swoosh!
♪♪♪
But the other issue is I'm a little bit--
obviously, a little bit nervous about, um,
about Leesa and the kids coming
and arriving at the hotel.
[Romesh] If they walk in as it is now,
it does look super shit,
so I just think, like,
put some stuff around.
If you get the kids...
- Yeah. - ...happy,
then it makes things a lot easier.
If the kids are happy, Leesa's happy.
You can really deck it out
- nicely--yeah, yeah. - That's what I'm saying.
For the time being, it'll do the job, anyway.
Bang!
Good shot, mate. Good shot.
[Rags] Fantastic.
♪ energetic rap music ♪
♪♪♪
[cameraman] Overall, do you think Leesa will be happy
- on her arrival? - [Romesh] Yeah.
[cameraman] What, just 'cause you've got
a basketball hoop?
[Romesh] Yes, the basketball hoop
I'm hoping, is gonna help me
make Leesa and the kids happy,
which will make them buy into LA a bit more,
which will mean that I can continue
chasing my professional dream,
which will help me to sell out the Greek,
and so effectively, that basketball hoop
is helping me to break America.
♪ piano arpeggios ♪
♪♪♪
♪ sedate percussive music ♪
♪♪♪
[cameraman] Didn't bring any flowers.
- Pardon? - [cameraman] Didn't bring
any flowers or cards?
No. If I brought flowers,
Leesa would think I've been sleeping
with someone else.
Oh, that's them. That's them.
Oh, look, there's Daddy! Charlie!
Daddy!
♪♪♪
Hiya.
Daddy!
I missed you.
♪♪♪
So, who's excited to be in LA?
Me.
Boys, did you miss Daddy?
[Theo] Yes.
[Romesh] Charlie, did you miss Daddy?
Yeah.
- So guys... - [Theo] Yeah?
What do you think of these American shops?
[Leesa] They're brilliant.
[Romesh] Guys, petrol station,
but they call it gas station.
Look, guys, American bus.
Oh, my God! An American bus.
I'm so excited.
Okay, Theo, are you being sarcastic?
[laughs] Yes.
♪ orchestral waltz ♪
What do you want to do, like, for this week?
Maybe go down, like, Sunset Boulevard.
Boulevard?
Is the hotel got a pool?
- Yes. - [Leesa] Yeah?
So chill out by the pool.
How big are the rooms?
Is it nice and big for us?
Um...
- That'll be a no, then. - [Charlie] Hey,
give that back!
[Romesh] Here we are, guys.
- [Theo] Yay. - [Charlie] Yay.
[Romesh] Look at this.
Oh, my God.
[Romesh] What do you think?
♪♪♪
I think you're gonna be pretty impressed, boys.
Okay.
- Okay, you ready? - Yeah.
Three, two, one...
Ta-da!
[Theo] Oh, my God.
[Alex] Oh, my God.
- Sick. - Oh, wow.
[Leesa] Did you get this stuff?
Yeah. Guys, this is
our place to stay. Alex, what do you think?
Those are "ebebeb."
M&Ms fo--eat as much as you like, children.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Eat as much as you like.
[Leesa] It's nice, the way you've done it.
Well done.
[Romesh] So you're happy?
For a couple of nights.
[Romesh] In many ways, this room is a metaphor
for our marriage. Sort of add on
a load of bells and whistles, you know,
joke around, buy a load of shit,
and hopefully, she'll ignore the fact
that I'm hugely depressive
and not that great a husband.
[Romesh] Okay, shall we get bags and get ready for the--
Oh.
- What do you think, Leesa? - Oh, hello.
Yeah, it's--it's all right
for a temporary measure, isn't it?
What do you think, boys?
- [Theo] Awesome. - [Leesa] Do you like it,
Charlie?
Course the kids--the way you've done all this, mate,
they're gonna like it, aren't they?
You know, you just got them falling for you,
your tricks-- like, all this stuff
makes it look good, and so they think it's great.
I wouldn't do this to my family.
What is going on with you?
We need to be in a house, bro,
like that place that we looked at.
- We should have been in there. - The one--
- Am I right? - Yeah, yeah.
Well, thanks a lot, Rags.
I'm glad you entered the room when you did.
[Romesh] Who wants to go swimming?
[Leesa] Let's go swimming.
Come on, Alex. You can help me
drown Uncle Rags. Let's go.
We're gonna just push his head under
until he stops breathing.
♪ percussive music ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] In an ideal world, I would just sort of
chill out with the kids for a bit,
but we haven't got time to do that,
because I want to get some headshots done
as part of my sort of
ongoing self-improvement
to make my way in LA.
♪♪♪
[Romesh] Right, boys, come on.
Did you say we were meant to spend time together here?
Yes, we are spending time together.
By you having your pictures taken?
[Romesh] It'll be fun, all right?
- [Vanie] Hi. - [Romesh] Hello.
Have a seat. Get comfortable.
Thank you.
[Vanie] So let me think about this.
Um...
In your age group,
there are
three or four categories that are right for you,
that are sort of like the popular looks.
So, with the beard, you're gonna go for terrorist.
[Romesh] It wouldn't take the most imaginative
casting assistant to put me as terrorist.
I'm brown with a beard. Job done.
[accented] Infidels, go.
The other one that you can do
is hipster,
helpful employee,
office guy. Freeze.
[Romesh] I don't like having my photo taken
at the best of times.
Beautiful, right there.
[Romesh] She's a lovely woman, but it's one
of the most uncomfortable photo shoots I've done.
Do me a favor. Just turn the nose this way
just a little bit so that-- good.
So I get the lazy eye on this side.
I want this eye straight at me,
so the nose straight at camera, okay?
Just give me some improv.
[Vanie] Just let me lead you into it, okay, so,
I hear that you're working at Intelligentsia coffee shop.
Uh, yeah, we've got this new type of bean that we're--
Freeze. You've got a new type of what?
- A new type of bean. - Freeze.
Man, you're a hard one to crack.
She said that she wanted to get me
through a different kind of range of emotions,
and so she kept trying to get me to smile.
Can you take me to the aisle where the apples are, please?
Uh, I would do,
but I'm sort of bowed forward
- and stuck in this position. - [woman laughs]
[Vanie] How do you feel, uh, working at this law firm?
Well, I feel like I'm sort of hired
as a result of diversity quotas,
- but I'm happy to take-- - Freeze.
[Vanie] Really, you're gonna
fake smile for me now? Really?
[Romesh] Many photographers that I've done photos with--
when they want you to smile,
they will ask you to smile.
Don't move, don't move, don't move for just a second.
[Romesh] But she didn't like that method.
What she decided to try and do
was just try to make me
smile and laugh
by just giving me
funny things.
So, um, I heard you're a pretty good singer.
- [Romesh] Really? - [Vanie] [laughs] I did.
And there's a song that you won't sing to Leesa?
- Pardon? - [Vanie] Before you go to bed.
[Vanie] There's a song you won't sing to her
before you go to bed.
Can you sing it?
Look at me, look at me, look at me.
- No, I can't. - [Vanie] Look at me.
That's it. That's awesome.
[cameraman] You gonna sing me the song?
Uh...
No, I don't think so.
[cameraman] Why not?
It is incredibly embarrassing.
Leesa, do you mind singing it?
I can't sing in front of--
- Look at me, look at me. - Leesa, do not sing that song.
[Vanie] Okay, so I just made you laugh.
[Romesh] Yeah.
[cameraman] Can't be that bad.
It is that bad.
Freeze. Good. Beautiful.
[Romesh] Are you guys having fun?
No.
[Romesh] Um, Vanie, can I ask you a big favor?
- Yes? - Would you mind
taking a photo of me with the--
with Leesa and the kids?
Okay.
[cameraman] Go on, sing me the song.
This time, can you raise your hand when you say yes?
all: Yes!
Um, when Leesa and I first got together,
we got the point where it was
obvious that we were, you know,
we were gonna get it on,
so I sort of stripped down to my boxers,
and as I approached the bed,
I just went,
♪ Dickey, dickey dickey ♪
♪ I'm as hard as a stick-ey ♪
♪ And I want to stick in you ♪
Yes!
We didn't have sex that evening.
♪ Unh what, yeah ♪
♪ Armed with a cap put your hands in the air ♪
♪ Why you gonna stand there looking like a spare baby ♪
♪ How you gonna feel when I put it there like doosh ♪
So tomorrow, I've booked you in
to go and see a nutritionist.
- [Charlie] I trap him... - Okay, why?
Uh, we saw you at the photo shoot.
I kept telling you to breathe in,
but you still
could see it.
See what?
Your belly.
Just, please,
- see what they say today. - Theo, do you think
I need to lose weight?
[Charlie babbles]
No.
Okay, y-you--
just a little tip.
- [laughs] - [Charlie] Let me out.
You cannot pause for that long
when somebody asks you a question like that.
Okay, I'll d-- do it again.
- Do I need to lose weight? - No.
Okay, now I don't believe you,
because I heard you the first time.
Charlie,
do you think Daddy's got a fat belly?
Yeah.
Alex, do you think
I need to lose weight?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to bed.
[Romesh] Charlie, g'night. G'night.
Good night.
- Good night. - [Theo] Good night.
Good night, fatty.
See in the morning. I love you!
Good night. Love you.
[Romesh] Good night.
All right, boys, put the Switch away.
[children laughing]
[Leesa] All right, lay down. Go sleep now.
[Alex] Enjoy your sleep.
♪ sedate orchestral music ♪
[Romesh] Okay, do you want to see headshots?
- [Theo] Yeah. - [Leesa] Yeah.
This is from yesterday.
So, this is me as an office worker.
[Leesa] Yeah.
This is me, an office worker
who can't decide whether he needs
to fart or actually poo.
Terrorist.
- [Leesa] No. - [Rags] Wow.
I think you look quite... sexy like that.
[Romesh] Are you being serious,
- Leesa? - [Leesa] Yeah.
I like them when you're smiling.
Yeah, but I don't sm-- I don't, you know,
there's no point in smiling in the phot--look at that.
[Romesh] Uh, what do you think of this photo, anyway?
Yeah, it's nice.
[Rags] I think maybe this should be the one
that you send to--
remember we were gonna chase up
all the directors and studios and stuff?
- Yeah. - Send these out, mate.
[Romesh] Listen, first of all, sending a photo to a director,
apropos of nothing, is insane.
To send one of your family photos--
would you send a family photo to a director?
Yeah, okay. Well, you're six.
What the hell do you know?
[Leesa] We've got to go now.
We've got that appointment
with the nutritionist.
What is the aim of this?
Just see what they've got to say.
Just hear-- just hear them out.
Fine.
♪ Yo, look, maybe my mind's gone ♪
♪ Maybe I don't care ♪
♪ Thinking that I'm killing it but really going nowhere ♪
♪ She gets mad I don't blame her a bit ♪
♪ When she gets annoyed ♪
♪ I start taking the piss ♪
[knocking]
[Leesa] Oh, wow.
What the fuck is this?
[man] this is a hydrostatic tank.
We're gonna get you in there
and test your body fat.
You ready?
What am I wearing in this?
♪ awkward orchestral music ♪
[Romesh] My mom used to buy me
little trunks like this that were so tight,
one day-- I promise you this happened--
I walked out of the changing rooms,
and my PE teacher winced.
Like, he saw me come out, little chubby boy,
and he went [inhales sharply]
just because they were cutting into
my chubby chocolate flesh so much.
[Leesa] You're very brave.
I'm so proud of you.
[Romesh] That's what I was sort of brought back to then,
except it was in some sort of fucking torture van,
and my wife was watching on.
[man] All right.
Whenever you're ready.
♪ industrial music ♪
Keep blowing, buddy.
Keep blowing! Keep blowing!
[cameraman] So how was it-- how was it, being--
how was the actual process? It looked quite...
[Romesh] The pr-- the process is horrible.
[cameraman] Quite scientific, though.
Yes, it is scientific. Hold onto this metal rack,
breathe out, and then dunk your head in
until we tap you on the shoulder.
Okay. Perfect.
And then he come up and he goes, "You're fat.
Let's have another go."
[man] Keep blowing, keep blowing,
keep blowing.
♪♪♪
- Good. All right. - Well done!
Pretty much right on the nose.
Great job.
All right, so here's the numbers.
This is what we got your body fat at right now.
Oh, my God.
- What'd you get? - This is your body fat
in pounds.
- [man] It's not that bad. - You got about 77 1/2 pounds
- of fat on you. - 34%.
[cameraman] That's not so bad.
Dude, I'm 1/3 blubber.
[Romesh] How bad is that?
- Be honest. I can take it. - Uh...
Uh, the ideal for a guy is 15%.
Shit.
[man] I can almost assure you,
in looking at your physical condition,
that your testosterone
is probably gonna be very low.
Estrogen follows testosterone,
and when estrogen increases
more than testosterone,
you'll tend to get
male breasts...
So what do I do?
Change things, or get ready
to just live the rest of my life as a woman?
[Romesh] I started this day
sort of feeling like I don't really look great,
and then in the afternoon,
I was told I've got bitch tits.
[Leesa] I've booked us a
three-hour-long session tomorrow
at the beach.
Training session.
I'm gonna do it with you.
You gonna do it?
- You need to do it. - I know.
I can't believe I've got low testosterone.
Oh, I know. Neither can I.
I always thought that's...
...weird, since we've got
three kids, and the fact that you're
trying it on with me every night.
I don't try on with it every night.
Nearly every night.
- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.
And by the way, let's be absolutely--
let's put our cards on the table.
If I ever rejected you,
you wouldn't talk to me for three weeks.
Well, that's never happened, so...
But I'm supposed to
- just accept it? - Yeah.
No, it hasn't, because I'm a loving husband,
and when my wife wants the dick,
she gets the dick.
[laughter]
♪ rap music ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] I just think it's fucking roasting hot,
and we're coming here to do this thing,
and all of these people on this beach
look like pricks.
Okay,
we're gonna take you guys
through a couple of hours
of an experience,
and the intent
is to start you on a path
to a healthier life.
[trainer] I brought a good friend of mine,
uh, a guy who was on Seal Team Five,
- Mark, to-- - Are you joking?
[trainer] No.
[trainer] Three, two, one, go. Good, Lees.
[trainer] All right, Romesh, off we go, as fast as you can.
[trainer] That's it. Turn it around, turn it around.
Good.
[trainer] Take care of that breath, Lees,
while he's--nice, that's working out for you.
[panting]
[trainer] 45 seconds. You're on the clock.
♪ dramatic music ♪
[trainer] Good.
Ten burpees. Go.
[trainer] Let's go! Ten seconds--get there.
[panting]
[Leesa] Keep pushing.
Come on, Rom. You're so close.
[trainer] Almost there. Just get through this,
one small yard at a time.
That's it. You're doing it.
Leesa, I mean this in the nicest way.
Fuck off.
[trainer] You're done. Leesa, good work.
Thank you.
[pants, spits]
It's gonna get harder, okay?
So get your shit together.
- Okay? - Okay.
Ugh.
[cameraman] How was that?
Now we're gonna change the game a little bit.
It's called "Make a Navy Seal Laugh."
Oh, my God.
Now, if you don't make him laugh,
she gets physically punished.
This isn't gonna happen.
Oh, make him laugh.
How am I gonna make him laugh?
[Leesa] You can do it, Rom.
Ready? Go.
Um...
Hey,
how you doing?
Hot out here, right?
Leesa, what I want you to do...
- Yeah. - ...is go all the way
to the ocean, as fast as you can,
get completely wet,
come back here, get completely sandy,
stand right here. You have 1 minute, 30 seconds.
- Go. - Oh, my God.
I can't.
Think about the act, Rom.
[cameraman] Why didn't you just do
some of your routine? I don't understand.
[Romesh] Because I don't want to do my routine
to one man sitting in a chair.
I'm gonna be doing that in a few weeks' time
at the Greek.
[Romesh] A crab goes into a bar,
and he says,
"Can I have a pint of lager?"
and the barman says, "I'm not gonna serve you,"
and the crab says, "Why not?"
and the barman says, "'Cause you came in here
and you're giving it all that."
The crab did.
- Leesa. - [Leesa] Yeah?
[Mark] Gas mask.
[Romesh] What's the gas mask for?
'Cause it's harder to breathe.
I'm so sorry.
[trainer] Let's go, Lees.
[Romesh] It's difficult, because every time
you tell one of your jokes,
it fails, and your wife is punished.
Oh...
And on the other hand,
it's fucking hilarious
watching her run in a gas mask.
[trainer] She's tough, man.
Go.
Kiss it.
[accented] Go on and kiss it.
♪ slow saxophone music ♪
♪♪♪
[Mark] Leesa.
I want you to tell me a joke,
and if I laugh...
- I don't know any. - ...this whole thing
will be over.
If I don't,
I'm gonna punish both of you.
Sing the song. Sing the song.
No--no.
Just tell him that story.
- Okay. - [trainer] Three,
two, one...
Begin.
♪ Dickey, dickey, dickey ♪
♪ I'm as hard as a stick-ey ♪
♪ And I want to stick it in you ♪
Is that how it went?
Well.
I'm actually really disturbed.
What's happened is you've sung the song,
and he hasn't laughed, so it's a double
fucking kick in the dick.
Hey, both of you.
- Wet and sandy. - I want you completely wet,
completely sandy. Go.
How much time? How much time?
You have one minute and 30 seconds--go.
90 seconds. It's not much time.
[trainer] Rom, that's as fast as you can go?
[trainer] Let's go, big fella!
That guy does not do a lot of running.
Get wet. On your back.
♪♪♪
[cameraman] But a good day full of, sort of,
like, exercise?
No.
- [cameraman] Feel f-- - What--where have you got--
where have you got that from this?
[trainer] Roll around. Roll around.
[Romesh] No, it's not a nice day,
had some exercise, and it's been fun.
It's been shit.
So you guys did wonderful.
You kicked ass. You're reasonably funny.
Thanks very much.
[cameraman] I-is this the end of the, uh, image makeover,
new Romesh?
Well, you tell me.
How do you think my image looks now?
♪♪♪
I have to say, I'm very impressed
with how you did today.
I'm impressed with how you did.
Oh, fuck off.
[Leesa] I've got sand everywhere.
I've washed my hair, and it's still coming out.
Good.
How many of those Skittles have you eaten?
[Leesa] That bowl was full.
Leesa, I deserve a few Skittles
after what we went through today.
Seriously, you got to cut down on those chocolates, man.
[Leesa] Thank you.
Do all that work and then come here
- and starting eating this... [Leesa] I know.
[Leesa] And he did loads of work today, didn't you?
[Rags] ...but anyway, I don't want to be a part of that.
[Romesh] You're not a part of it, so relax.
- [Rags] All right. - Nobody ever offered
- to make you a part of it. - Okay, okay, that's all right.
Cool.
I think you should try and listen to both of us,
'cause we're both trying to help you.
Okay, I will.
Are you gonna finish that bowl?
- I might, if I want to. - I think I should
- take it off you. - No, you can't take it off me.
- Take it off him. - No, this is bullshit.
- I'm going--I'm going to bed. - This is not an intervention.
It needs to be a little bit more serious...
I'm going to bed now.
No, I'm--I'm gonna take them.
[Leesa] Right, good night.
Just before you go, you might want to double check
that Rags hasn't got his tongue up your ass.
Oh, fuck off.
[Romesh] You are
genuine prick, you know that?
♪ Never had a problem with telling you how it is ♪
♪ Never had an issue with showing you how it's done ♪
♪ rapping indistinctly ♪
♪ I'm done with these disillusions ♪
♪ I've come to salute the sun ♪
[Romesh] What do you think of LA?
Honest, Leesa.
Could you see yourself settling here?
[Leesa] Yeah, definitely.
The boys have been able to be outside
and swim every day,
and just--
I want us to be in our own house.
Well, it's funny you say that, Leesa,
because, uh,
I've actually sorted us out a house.
Have you?
Well, listen. If my wife and children
need a home, they get a home.
Oh, well done.
[Romesh] That's how I operate.
It's affordable, it's clean, it's got a swimming pool.
Oh, brilliant.
It looks wicked.
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
That's brilliant news. Really good news.
[Romesh] Well, I thought you'd be happy.
♪ orchestral waltz playing ♪
- Okay, so boys... - Yeah?
We are about to meet
like, my first friend in America.
Oh, Jose. Cool.
We just got to pick up Rags on the way.
♪ jazz music ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] Rags!
♪♪♪
- [Rags] Hey. - [Leesa] It's Uncle Rags.
Hi. Come over here, kids.
[Rags] I want you to give your honest opinion.
Stand here, stand here, right in front.
Here, Charlie, please.
All right, Rom,
have a look at what I've done for you, mate.
♪♪♪
[Romesh] What the...
[laughs]
Isn't that amazing?
[Romesh] Um...
Rom, I really thought you'd be very impressed.
"Showtime's biggest star"? That's not true.
You've used the actual Showtime logo.
This has not been publicly announced.
Oh, my gosh.
So now the show is being officially announced
by a bench.
[Rags] I don't believe it. Look at the kids--
- how great they look. - But you--you didn't ask us
permission to put our children on there either, to be honest.
Then why did you take this picture?
B-the photo was not for promotion.
It's like a family photo.
[Rags] So what is it? You have
a family album happening here? On promotion?
No, but I just said, "Could you do me a favor
and do--take a photo of my family?"
What I didn't realize-- I'd have to secure the photo
in case you plastered it on a bench in LA,
and you've put my phone number on the bench.
[Leesa] Oh, my God, is that your real phone number?
Yes. Listen, phone them up,
get rid of it. We've got to go.
Can you just get rid of it?
♪ jazz music ♪
[cameraman] How you feeling about your--
Rags' promotional attempt?
[Romesh] I'm not-- look, listen,
I'm not happy about it.
He couldn't have got it more wrong.
If you're trying to make me look big-time,
by having "Showtime's biggest star,"
do not put a phone number on there
that takes you directly to that person.
Can you imagine if you saw a film--
like a film: Training Day 2,
right, and you phone up,
and fucking Denzel Washington answers the phone himself?
You think he's fallen on hard times, this prick?
First of all, they brought him
back from the dead for the sequel.
Second of all, he's taking the fucking calls himself.
[Leesa] I just--
how--how has he
paid for it, Rom?
[Romesh] I don't know.
[Leesa] I hope he's taken it down.
♪♪♪
- Say hi. - Hello.
- How you doing, man? - How you doing, man?
Hello, how are you? You all right?
Hello. Leesa.
- Hello. - Hi.
[cameraman] What you're gonna do just
play a bit of piñata or something?
Have you seen a piñata, or have you
just made the assumption?
[cameraman] Behind you.
- [Jose] You get three swings. - [Leesa] One.
That is fucking lucky for you, mate, isn't it?
- [Jose] Three shots. - [Romesh] Three shots.
[people muttering]
- [Jose] Ah! - all: Oh!
[Jose] [clapping] He did it!
[Leesa] Run! Get the candy!
[Jose] Get a candy, Mama.
[Leesa] Oh, wow.
- So much candy. - Hey.
- Party going on, eh?
How you doing?
[Rags] I have a little bit of a bad news now.
[Romesh] What bad news?
Yeah, unfortunately, um,
I tried to get that removed.
What did you--how did you-- What do you mean?
The thing is, they can't do it
for two--for--for another two weeks,
but I-I got a plan, all right?
We can sort it out.
What are you talking about?
Do you want to join us for a little spin?
Guys, we'll see you in a sec, yeah?
Be back in a bit. All right.
- Be back soon. - All right, let's go.
- Sorry guys. - Theo, come on.
[Romesh] How many benches is it?
Three, four.
Are you crazy?
Why is it that important for you to know,
like, exactly how many--
Well, because-- I'll tell you why.
Because if there's three,
then this isn't a big detour.
If there's 100,
then we're gonna be in this car for a while, aren't we?
Well, we've got Theo. It's very efficient.
Okay, but he's not a chimney sweep.
♪ orchestral waltz music ♪
[Romesh] What are we actually doing here, Rags?
I've got a couple of cans of paint with me.
Are you joking?
♪ synth music ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you can make it out here ♪
♪ Then you can make it anywhere ♪
♪ I click your album in the damn trash on my desktop ♪
♪ If I decide I'm coming for a crown, then his head's off ♪
♪ Nah, you probably see me wearing a cloud for a hat ♪
♪ Are you a clown or an actor man ♪
♪ I'm trying to distinguish ♪
♪ What type of a business is this ♪
[Theo] Oh, for God's sake, there's a cop there.
[Romesh] Excuse me.
Somebody told me that there was, like--
basically, I'm trying to get to
Blue Lagoon, which is on Sunset.
[Theo] Are you sure it's at Sunset?
[Theo] Are you sure it isn't something like
Sun Park or something like that?
[Romesh] No, I'm pretty sure it's Sunset.
Thank you very much for your help!
Thank you.
♪ Might lose you like contracts with a loophole ♪
♪ Not present, like old contacts in a new phone ♪
♪ I threw stones in a glass house ♪
♪ Two tokes and I'm passed out ♪
♪ You can laugh now or you can calm down ♪
♪ If you can make it out here ♪
♪ You'll make it anywhere ♪
[phone ringing]
Listen, um, are you still at the park?
[Romesh] Where are you?
All right, Theo, do the phone number.
You do the phone number. Quick, quick, quick.
♪♪♪
[Romesh] Why?
I'm done, done.
All right, go, come.
Let's go.
♪♪♪
[Romesh] Okay, all right, all right.
I'll see you in a bit.
Okay, go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go.
Come on, come on, come on.
♪♪♪
[Rags] Rom,
- we got one more. - Okay.
But don't get angry with me
when I show you this, right?
- Why w-- - Don't get angry with me.
- Why? - I'm gonna show you.
Go, go on, mate.
Come near there. I want to just...
Oh, my God.
[Theo] Whoa.
[Rags] You like it?
♪ If you can make it out here you'll make it anywhere ♪
♪ But I all I see is people trying to make it everywhere ♪
♪ Dressed like a tramp ♪
♪ When I show up to the premiere ♪
♪ Might not know my name ♪
♪ But you should be well aware ♪
♪ Well aware, well aware, well aware, well aware ♪
♪♪♪
[bright tone]