[bright tone]
[seagulls crying]
♪ sedate orchestral music ♪
♪♪♪
[Shanthi] Let me get some nice clothes for you, Romi.
[Romesh] Yeah? What would you choose for me?
Because I'll be honest. I don't really trust your taste.
I like that shorts behind you.
Yeah. Like, that's the sort of thing
that shows you don't know anything about me, Mum.
I don't like the style-- your style at all.
Why? What's wrong with my style?
Look at you. Look at your neck.
Why you have to put the buttons up here?
It's like a stuffed turkey.
Let me try.
Maybe you're afraid to show your boobs, I think.
Yeah, that's right. My boobs are up here,
just underneath my Adam's apple.
Anyway, forget that.
Shall we select some clothes, da?
Okay, well, I've got some great news for you, actually.
What's that?
Uncle Rags is coming to America.
What?
So you are calling him all the way from Australia?
Yes.
I don't know why you need him there.
I just think he's a good person to have--
Look at the way he dress up, da.
- [Romesh] Yeah, he looks-- - He looks like a drug dealer.
Ask him to dress well.
I don't want this shaved hair, ponytail here.
He's a good energy to have around, Mom.
He's, like, positive.
So when I tell you to be the positive things,
you are saying, "I'm not going to listen to you."
You said I've got boobs.
Is he coming before me to LA?
What do you think of this?
♪ dramatic piano music ♪
♪♪♪
[man] So what do you want to achieve this week?
I want to, um, meet up with some people
to talk about how I can actually
sort of push my brand over here
and work out how me and Rags are gonna work together.
[man] Some people might think it's a bit weird
that you've taken your uncle out here first,
before your wife and kids.
If Leesa and the kids came here,
Leesa would be like, "Why the shit
are we staying in a motel?"
Rags'll come in and go, "Fuck, it's indoors?
Amazing!"
♪ I stay humble ♪
♪ And I can't grumble ♪
♪ Juggling shit these days just blazin' ♪
[man] How would you describe him?
[Romesh] He's like an older version of me,
but with a genuine, actual lust for life.
♪ rap music with distorted vocal backup ♪
♪ Yeah 4:20 on the clock ♪
♪ And I'm ready for the drop ♪
♪ You can tell that it's never gonna stop ♪
♪ By the way that I'm bowling ♪
- [laughter] - Shit.
Hi, man.
- Good to see you, brother. - Yes, good to see you.
Very good. What the hell is this, man?
This is a vehicle, bro.
Why have you got this?
We got to be different. You know what I mean?
Because this LA, bro.
Yeah, no, I get your, uh, philosophy.
It's very nice.
You know, we could've gone and got a Maserati,
you know, like, a convertible or something,
but, I mean, it's gonna cost us a--
- I know. I get it. - I mean, this is cool.
- Yeah. - I mean, you'll love it.
Once you hit the highway, man, it goes, bro.
Well, let me show you the hotel first.
Ah, Rom, look.
Mate, I've seen all this before.
What's the big deal about this hotel?
- I mean, it's all right. - Yeah.
You got a place to sleep in, right?
- Yeah. - That's fine, bro.
Let's go and get the shit done, all right?
That's the main thing. What do you got planned for me?
I'm trying to figure out a way
of, like, marketing myself over here,
so I've arranged a couple of meetings
with, like, brand marketing consultants.
Beautiful, man. Let's go and do it.
All right.
Are you honestly all right to drive this?
Yeah, I'm--I'm cool, mate.
Okay.
Oh, Jesus. Don't hit this guy, please.
- [car horn honks] - [Romesh] Fuck.
We're gonna have to...
Oh, my God, this is terrifying.
What? Am I going too close?
[Romesh] Is there a spot you're going for?
[Rags] Kind of this one. I don't know.
I can't see you!
Rom, can you hear me?
Rom, can I come in more?
No, no, no, no, no!
I can't see you in the mirror.
[Romesh] Rags, go forward.
Yeah.
[bangs on truck] Go full lock right
and reverse slowly-- go full lock.
[Romesh] That's it, keep coming.
No, that way, that way, that way!
Will it be all right if you leave it like this?
[Romesh] You ain't gonna get closer than that, mate.
Just leave it. We get a ticket, we get a ticket.
Yeah, I think we should bloody do it.
Okay, come on, let's go.
Look at the size of the fucking limo.
[Romesh] How was that?
That'll have to do it, man.
[car alarm blaring]
[blaring stops]
♪ orchestral waltz playing ♪
[Romesh] This company called Poletus--
they saw my Instagram profile,
got in touch with me, and said that they could
help with my social media,
so I thought I'd give it a go.
[Rishabh] Uh, first things first,
pretty much everything you've been doing
with your social media has been wrong.
The fact that you have not been creating
an emotional connection with your fans, right?
So is my content no good?
Yeah, content pretty much sucks as well.
Sorry.
Okay. What else?
You usually do not use
more than about two to three hashtags.
[Rishabh] That's not good social media practice.
So are you supposed to hashtag every post?
I mean, like, for example,
let's say if you were into deadpan comedy.
They would never find your picture,
'cause it is not tagged with it.
[Rishabh] Now, excuse my language.
One of your most engaging hashtags
has been "#FuckTravel."
- Very relatable. - [Romesh] Yeah, thank you.
[Rags] The F-travel really works, though, doesn't it?
So use more of that?
[Bryant] Curate posts around it, so when you are traveling,
- make it this whole thing. - Yeah.
You know, like, #FuckTravel.
[Romesh] Right.
So that's like a brand? #FuckTravel.
Yeah.
Every day is a new day
for you to reaffirm or reimagine your brand.
[Bryant] 'Cause I'm going through your brand, all right?
You're a very unique individual.
You're hilarious, right?
But it doesn't-- it doesn't come off that way.
But it's a dance, right?
Social media is a dance, specifically.
It's 80%, 20%. All right?
80%, I'm gonna inform you. All right?
Boom, boom, I'm gonna inform you.
I'm gonna educate you. I'm gonna love you.
I'm gonna share my journey with you.
Then the other 20% is a call to action.
Exactly.
[Romesh] Can I just ask-- I'm fascinated by this.
- You like it? - I really like it.
- Yeah, what is it? - What it is--it's my brand.
- You wear that every day? - [Bryant] I always wear it.
- [Rishabh] He always wears it. - I wear it to bed.
I wear it in the morning. Makes me interesting.
[chuckles]
[Rishabh] Um, so...
our algorithm went through
each and every post that you have had,
and what we found out were
your most engaging emotions-- but you don't do them often--
are actually when you're being very inspirational,
you're being very reflective, okay?
And you're also being a little bit angry.
But I don't think I've been inspirational
in my entire life.
But that's what you think.
They see something in you maybe--I hate to say it--
maybe you haven't seen in yourself yet, you know?
Look at what you're trying to do.
It's one of the most inspirational things
I've ever seen, okay?
People are actually looking up to you,
and I think maybe you need to own it.
You have to really own it that, yes, you know what?
I am a comedian. I actually change lives.
Yes.
Why do you think
I am giving my time
to you?
[Bryant] How do you feel?
'Cause look at how passionate he is,
and I'm not getting the same back from you.
[Romesh] It was an unusual resolution
in that after having initially got in touch with me,
the resolution was that they didn't want to work with me.
He's telling me he wants to fill out 6,000 seats,
and he's barely talking.
[Romesh] So apparently I don't have
the requisite energy that they require
in order to get on board with me.
What they were also very annoyed about
was the existence of Rags.
If he was to get, like, this sort of numbers
following him that you're talking about, right?
- Sure. - Would that guarantee him
a star role in a movie here in Hollywood?
- It's a currency now. - [Rishabh] It opens the door.
It's a currency now. Absolutely.
[Rishabh] It's called social currency.
- Okay. - [Rags] From there,
can we speak to Steven Spielberg
or some big director or producer,
someone like that?
Do you guys do things like that?
No, we're an intelligence company.
Yeah, so pretty much, you give a plan, like--
No, it's more than that.
We help a crash-and-burn scenario,
because this right here is a crash-and-burn scenario.
But would you be able to guarantee, like,
within this period
that you would get so many fans or something like that?
Wait a second, Uncle.
In all of my marketing, I've never heard
a more ridiculous assumption.
[Romesh] They didn't like Rags,
and by "didn't like,"
I mean, "fucking hated him, wanted him dead."
Hey, do you want to see something cool?
- Yeah, of--always. - All right, cool.
Let me blow your mind away. Hold on.
Am I--are we following you?
[man] Did they have any good ideas?
Yeah, they did.
My Instagram is shit.
I'm not great on Twitter. So I did--
I do take some of those tips on board,
but all of that was sort of undermined
by the way that they decided to close out the meeting.
[intense piano music]
♪♪♪
[airy flute music]
[Romesh] Even if they'd said, "We want to work with you.
We can sell out the Greek,"
and then he'd started playing the flute,
I'd go, "I'm sorry, man. I'm out."
Also, you're an Indian in America.
They don't know much about us, mate.
Don't play the flute.
They'll think you're a fucking snake charmer.
Don't reinforce a stereotype.
[flute music continues]
♪♪♪
♪ sedate jazz music ♪
[Rags] That guy was going around in circles
- about the same thing-- - Yeah, that is true.
Social media, social media, social media.
I thought they were weird guys,
but I thought they had some nice ideas.
The thing that they were talking about
maybe, you know, keeping it
a little bit positive, inspirational--
- [Jose] Hey, Rom! - Jose!
- What's up? - How you doing, man?
- How's it going? - How's it going, man?
- All right. - Good seeing you.
This is my Uncle Rags.
Hey, nice to meet you.
- Is this Jose? - My name's Jose.
Hey, I heard about you, man. How you doing, bro?
I love your hairdo.
Yeah? Oh, thank you, man.
- I like your cap, too. - Nice earrings, too.
- Ah, sit down man. - Yeah, man.
[Jose] You enjoying the food?
- [Romesh] Very nice. - [Rags] Oh, yeah, yeah.
- No, it's nice, yeah. - Really good, huh?
Corn chips could be a little bit more browner.
Yeah, I got to talk to these guys about that.
- Yeah, sounds good. - [laughs]
So how's your day been going?
We had a meeting about marketing, brand--
- like about marketing myself-- - Yeah, yeah.
- Are you on Instagram? - Yeah.
What sort of hashtags would you put on a photo?
For me, it's just food.
[Romesh] They've told me that I've got to do
more Instagram posts.
Hello, this is me,
with my brother from another mother--
- Jose. - And another father maybe.
Yeah, and another father. And this is my Uncle Rags.
[Romesh] Say hello, Rags.
Sweet. Bye.
I'll put #Jose, #Ragu.
Any other hashtags?
#Rom.
- #FuckTravel. - Remember the other one?
What was the other one that they said?
I'm not putting #DeadpanComedy.
Deadpan is, like, there's someone from the hospital
gonna bloody like it.
[both] That's a bedpan.
♪ upbeat percussive music ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] You know this Instagram post.
Oh, right, with Jose?
Yeah. 17,000 views.
There you go.
So I've got to call Leesa.
She just said I need to call her about the house,
and I've done absolutely nothing about it, so...
How hard would that be, man?
Just get on the Internet, Google it,
and fucking find it, man.
It's not as easy as that.
You have to, like, find the right place, don't you?
You have to go and look at places.
When have we had time to do that?
I mean, all she wants is a nice place, right?
With a pool and a big garden and things like that
and, like, a few bedrooms for the kids.
You've described a house, yes.
Yeah, get a nice big place, and she will be happy.
Man, don't tell her I'm here, all right?
- [line trilling] - Why?
Because then I have to get involved, because--
She's not gonna be dying to talk to you. Don't worry.
- [line trilling] - Hello, it's Rom.
I'm here with Rags.
I'm not here, Leesa.
Yeah, all right.
[Leesa] So...
So have you been looking, then?
But how are you better equipped to look than me?
I'm here, and you're there. You're look--
So I'm going to see this house for you?
And how much do you like it?
What you shaking your head--
Okay, so you want it, do you?
Okay. All right, I'll have a look.
[Romesh] Should we sort out looking at this place, then?
- All right, let's go, man. - All right.
By the way, do you mind driving the vehicle today?
Why?
You want to experience that, mate.
It's bloody nice.
You don't like driving it, do you?
♪ Scoot ♪
♪♪♪
♪ You see me driving, see me driving ♪
♪ Front's out so you know I'm always smiling ♪
♪ You say mother hens forever vibing ♪
♪ Four by four, we're shining like a diamond ♪
Thanks a lot, buddy, for driving, all right?
[Romesh] I feel like I'm driving a boat
through LA, man.
[Rags] Yeah, that's what it is.
- And, remember, Rom... - Yeah.
I'm gonna have to be with you for a little while
until I go back, right, to get you through this stage.
- Yeah. - Just please consider that,
you know, I don't want to be, like,
in the way of Leesa and kids and all that.
There's a very easy way for you to do that, actually--
to be in another house.
♪ sedate music ♪
[Romesh] Yeah, this is it. Looks nice, right?
[Rags] Oh, yeah, it looks good, mate.
Yeah, I like those palm trees.
- Hello? - [man] Hey.
- Hi, Romesh. - Romesh. Carmine.
- [both] Nice to meet you. - How you doing, man?
- This is my Uncle Rags. - [Rags] Hi. Rags.
- [Carmine] Come on in. - [Rags] All right, thank you.
[Romesh] You've been speaking to Leesa, right?
- [Carmine] Yeah. - [Romesh] So I'm gonna try
- and see if I can get her. - [phone ringing]
- [Leesa] Hello? - Hello? Hello?
We're in the house. This is Carmine,
- who you've spoken to. - Hi, Leesa. How are you?
Good. Well, he's finally here
at the house that you really liked,
so we thought maybe it'd be a good idea
to take you on a little virtual tour with us.
[Carmine] This area particularly,
I think is a nice area for entertaining.
Nice little fireplace.
What do you think, Leesa?
[man] What did you make of the house?
[Romesh] The truth is, my opinion
doesn't really matter in these sorts of decisions.
Look at this.
- Yeah. - So you've got the pool
and the Jacuzzi with the waterfall.
[Romesh] The house that we bought in the UK,
I hadn't seen
before we'd made an offer and had it accepted,
and also, I'm just not that fussy,
so how I figure it is, if she likes it, we're in.
[man] Are you saying you bought a house
without having stepped in it?
Correct, yeah.
[Romesh] Leesa, we've seen everything,
so I'm gonna call you back in a bit, all right?
But you like it, yeah?
Yeah, okay.
Okay, so how much is it for--for this?
The, uh--the monthly lease is $16,000 a month,
which I know may be a little bit
of a sticker shock for you.
- Yeah. - [laughs]
You know, it's actually pretty reasonable
for this size of a home.
So it's not bad at all, man.
That's quite cheap, isn't it?
Right.
That's very cheap.
Property prices in LA are unacceptable,
and I can't believe
there's a single person living here.
This should be,
like, a desolate Mad Max style ghost town.
You know, it's a lot of money.
Do you know what I mean? And that's why I'm sort of--
[Carmine] You know, if we are wanting
to go down in price, it's gonna compromise
the size and space.
By how much?
No, if anything, bigger,
- but this is fine. - [Carmine] Right.
[Romesh] I don't know what Uncle Rags was doing.
He was saying it was cheap.
He was saying it's an amazing.
Did you hear him at any point
suggest that he might chip in for the rent?
Leesa--I mean, you heard what Leesa was saying.
Right.
I was just wondering if there's any way
that you could sort of email her to sort of go like,
"This isn't the right place for you."
But I do think it's a good fit.
Yes, I know, I know.
So you want me to lie to Leesa?
- [Romesh] Uh... - [Carmine] 'Cause I'm not
comfortable lying to her about it.
Plan B was to ask Rags and the realtor
to sort of step outside for a little bit
and then call Leesa
and have a proper sort of honest exploration
of the house.
The issue is, I don't want her
to know what the fucking prices are here.
If she's just walked around the house,
she's found it, she loves it, and then I say to her,
"You saw that house that you loved?
You know that level of accommodation
that you think is perfect and ideal?
That's so far above our budget, it's unbelievable."
I reckon we are in.
Yeah, I think it's--I mean, I really do think
- it's the right fit. - Yeah.
It's like going to a kid--
"Do you like this toy?
Do you like this toy?"
"Yes, it's my favorite toy. I'd love that toy."
"You can't have it."
I'm gonna get him to do this deal for you.
- Yeah. - Right.
So it's gonna beneficial to you and also for us.
- Yeah, of course. - Particularly me, right?
- Yeah. - "Would you like
a much smaller,
shittier version of this toy
that has some safety issues?
'Cause I can get you that."
[stomps foot] That floor is so hard, Leesa.
[stomps foot] Do you not think that's too much?
Can you hear-- [stomps foot]
Can you hear that?
Look at--can you hear that?
Yeah.
[Carmine] Romesh just has to get over the sticker price.
I'll make sure that happens, mate.
- Okay. - He's my nephew.
- You know what I mean? - That's what I'll tell him.
- Right. - That's really dark.
These doors probably suck the light out.
Look at that.
That's horrible, isn't it?
We'll probably end up buying this place.
You know what I mean? That's a very good possibility.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus!
That is--
Leesa, that step is a nightmare.
Can you imagine if that was one of the kids or something?
[man] Why are you falling over steps?
Did I pretend to trip over a step that was perfectly fine
in order to help hammer my point home? Yes.
Did I pretend that the wood was really, really dark
and, in fact, it was absolutely beautiful
and possibly some of the nicest interior furnishing
I've ever seen in my life? Yes.
Do I think that what I did was the wrong thing?
No, I don't, 'cause there's absolutely no way
I can afford that fucking place.
I don't know exactly.
I'm gonna find out from the guy in a minute,
but you're sure, though?
Because it is very-- that step's a nightmare.
[Romesh] Thanks very much for that.
- [Carmine] Yeah, of course. - Um...
- How'd it go? - Appreciate it.
Yeah, oh, she loves it, so I guess I'll be in touch.
Yeah, just keep me posted.
I said to him I was gonna be in touch.
Uh...
And that's probably my biggest lie,
because I've got no intention of ever contacting him
ever again in my life.
♪ Never had a problem with telling you how it is ♪
♪ Never had an issue with showing you how it's done ♪
[insects chirping]
[Romesh] Tomorrow I was thinking we could go to Venice,
- do a load of flyering. - That's old-school, man.
No, I know, but that's what-- that's how I--
you know, when I was doing Edinburgh Festival,
that's what I did.
I spent hours and hours flyering people.
And what did you get out of it?
We filled the venue that we were playing at.
Whatever you want. That's fine.
Okay, give me an exam-- how would you do it, though?
If you're handing a flyer, what would you s--
- I would-- - Like, imagine I'm a flyerer.
[Rags] I'll give the flyer,
and then I'd try to take it away from you.
You know, like, that take-away principle.
- You know how it works? - No, go on.
All right, it's just like, you hand over
and let them fucking drool on it,
you know, they look at it and they go,
"Wow, you know, this looks good,"
and you bloody take it away from them, mate.
- [Rags] It's gonna work. - So you give them the flyer.
- [Rags] Yeah. - Then as they go to take it,
you take it away?
And then you go,
"Mate, this is one-only show,
but we need you to book it now."
Yeah, but we don't have any tickets.
Oh, shit. We might have to carry a--
like, a notebook or something, and put their names down.
Carry a notebook?
- [Rags] Yeah. - And write their names down?
Yeah, and then we just come home and sort it out.
You know? You happy with that?
Yeah, I don't know why more people don't do that.
I don't know why they bothered starting up Ticketmaster.
♪ hip-hop music ♪
[man] So how's the house hunting going?
[Romesh] Well, actually, I've had some good news
on that front, as in Carmine's actually found a place
that's within budget.
[man] That's good. And have you sorted out the flyers?
Yeah. Here's a flyer.
[man] Isn't that the same photo
you used for your UK tour?
- Yes. - [man] Couldn't you have
done a new one or something fresh?
[Romesh] I haven't changed much
as an image, though, have I?
If I was now living as a white woman,
then, yes, maybe I should get a new photo, but I think--
I think people will know it's me.
[man singing indistinctly]
Hello, do you like stand-up comedy?
I'm doing a show at the Greek. No?
G'day. Come to our show, man.
It's a comedy show, no? Right.
Stand-up show at the Greek.
Really rude, guys.
[Romesh] Haven't seen you try this takeaway method.
- I did. - When?
- Did you see the-- - No.
Those guys that put the--
No, look, try it on these people walking to us here.
G'day, gentlemen.
- You guys stayin' here? - No, thanks, man.
[Rags] Yeah, you know, the most famous comedian from UK, man.
- [Romesh] Hey. - What?
[Romesh] You didn't take it away.
He wouldn't take it, would he?
Like, he's got to hold it first for me to take it away, man.
But if he holds it to take it, then he's taken it.
Excuse me. Interested in comedy?
- [woman] No, thank you. - Yeah?
Just have a look at it and see how you go.
- They're just walking away. - You didn't take it.
Not everyone's gonna hold it, are they?
Yeah, but the reason they're not--the reason
they're not holding it is because your method
- is a load of rubbish. - Yeah, no, no, no.
- The method works. - Let me try it.
♪♪♪
I cannot explain to you how quickly
my enthusiasm dissolved.
[Rags] Coming for a show? It's a great comedy show, man.
From UK. Here you go.
[Romesh] Oh, you gave one away.
Stand-up comedy show at the Greek?
- Stand-up comedy at the Greek? - [woman] No, thank you.
Comedy at the Greek? Cheers, mate.
Why are they taking them from you and not me?
I have no idea.
[man] Rags was very good at it, wasn't he?
Yeah, Rags was surprisingly good at it.
How you going, bro? Here, it's free.
Why are you telling people it's free?
The--this is free.
[Romesh] He has got a charm
that, when you're around it for a long time,
starts to become irritating,
but, upon initial exposure to it,
is absolutely endearing and enchanting.
- [Rags] Hello, ladies. - [woman] Hello.
We've got a show on the 21st.
- Oh, okay. - So you gonna be here
- on the 21st? - Yeah.
[Rags] All right, cool.
So you should come to this, right?
[Romesh] They just loved him.
Loved him so much, in fact,
that they didn't even bat an eyelid
when he creepily asked for their phone numbers.
And if you can put your details,
- and then we'll call you. - Mm-hmm.
[Romesh] 90% of his conversations
went like this-- "Are you gonna be in LA
for the 21st of December?"
"No." "Why don't you
give me your number, and I'll call you
in case you're in LA on the 21st of December?"
What kind of system is that?
It's better than not doing anything, isn't it?
End of the day, have a go.
If one thing doesn't work, try another.
[Romesh] Let me just point out, he was good
at getting people to talk to him,
but nobody said they were gonna come to the show.
So he and I
took very different paths for the same result.
Look, should we split up for a bit
- and see how we get on? - Yeah, okay.
You head down that way. I'll come find you in a bit.
Yeah.
[Romesh] Now, what was supposed to happen
is that both of us went our separate ways
and sort of flyered the shit out of it,
but I think
what we both accepted
but we left unspoken
was that we both had given up by that stage.
♪ energetic music ♪
And, in fact, what we'd actually done
was gone our separate ways
to just have quite a nice day
at Venice Beach.
♪ Don't move, you gotta first want moves ♪
♪ The dogs ain't quiet at the noose ♪
♪ Bells on my shoes, smooth like I never do lose ♪
♪ Never do it crude, yeah, I'm getting to a groove ♪
♪ 'Cause I am ♪
[Romesh] What I would sum up today is,
professionally,
an abject failure,
but, personally,
I had quite a nice day with Rags.
[insects chirping]
[Rags] So Venice Beach.
What did you think of what we did there?
- After we split up today... - Mm.
...I threw the flyers in the bin.
Really?
That wasn't what we were supposed to do, man.
[laughter]
Man, an honest question, Rom, right?
- [Rags] Seriously. - Yeah, go on.
- You trust me? - Yes, I trust you.
Yeah?
So let me help you,
you know, pick it up a notch.
You know? Go to the next level.
How do you think we can step it up a level?
You have to somehow get on TV.
You know, all the media.
It's gonna give you amazing exposure, all right?
Do you mean, like, getting your dick out?
Um...
♪ "Billa" by Dead Players playing ♪
♪ Let me show 'em where the future is ♪
♪ You underachieve ♪
[man] So what's happening today?
[Romesh] Well, Rags got frustrated,
and he's come up with this plan now.
He's had a banner made...
♪ Pump powders into snotty humans ♪
[Romesh] ...with the show information on,
and he wants us to get into the back of Extra
and just sort of unfurl the banner
as a way of getting instant promotion.
♪♪♪
[man] What do you think of that idea?
I think it's a terrible idea.
[Rags] Let's come to terms with this, right?
You're not known here, Rom.
Nobody fucking knows you, man, unfortunately, right?
UK, you're a big star, but here you're nobody, man.
Okay, you don't have to keep reiterating that message.
- I get it. - I'm just letting you know.
Like, you know, just get off your high horse
and try to understand that we want to get
as much exposure as possible.
What? What are you...
- worrying about? - I just think it's fucking--
It's like a stunt. Do you know what I mean?
It is a stunt.
[Romesh] I don't think two brown guys with beards
- pulling a surprise... - Yeah.
Do you think that's a good move in America?
What, do you think they're gonna think
you're a terrorist or something?
What do you think?
You don't look like a terrorist.
Not to you, I don't, because I'm your nephew.
But we're two brown guys with full beards.
I've got a rucksack on.
- I'd only-- - And we're going to do
a surprise thing on TV?
It's just stupid.
[man] If it's any motivation,
I spoke to the Greek, and he's still only sold 27 tickets.
Right, quick, quick, quick. Come on.
Right, move in, move in, move in.
[Romesh] The best thing that could happen
is Mario Lopez turns around and goes "Oh, my gosh.
Look at this banner. This is incredible."
[man] Worst-case scenario?
We're arrested and deported.
And three, two, one. Applause!
[Romesh] Put it up. Put it up!
[Mario] Hey, everyone. Welcome to Extra.
I'm Mario Lopez...
[Rags grumbling]
...speaking out for the very first time
[Romesh] Hold it, hold it, hold it. You got it?
...and how Oprah helped her survive...
[Rags] And down on the ground.
[man] Guys, you got to put the sign down, guys.
[Mario] Who are those dudes?
Hey, who are these guys?
[Romesh] Why Rags
got a banner that size is beyond me.
- Rags? - Yeah, on the ground.
- Pull it up, man. - Why is it this big?
First of all, it's impossible to get up.
Second of all, the information
about the actual show is on the back of the banner.
Insane.
[man] Guys, you got to put the sign down, guys.
Look, look, I'll just show you quickly, then we'll go.
"World's greatest..."
"World's greatest inspirational comic."
Oh, okay.
[Romesh] Mario Lopez looks around,
and even he said,
"Why are you taking so long to get the banner up?"
Y'all got to be quicker with that
if you want to make an impact-- that's not--Oh, God.
[Mario] Whatever it is, I don't want to see it now.
That is something I did not anticipate--
him going, "If you're going to do that, mate,
don't be so shit at it."
- [man] You got to go. - [man] We're shooting a show!
[Rags] I mean, it's not hurting anyone, is it?
They're all struggling.
[man] Whatever you're doing, you can't have it here.
[woman] Sir, you got to put it down.
[woman] Put the sign down. They're shooting a show.
[woman] Oh, yeah, the microphone.
- You got to go. - Oh?
We can't have it in the shot. We're shooting a show.
- [Romesh] Come on. - [Rags] Why are you so fucking
- pissed off at this? - [Romesh] That was a disaster.
Man, it wasn't.
What's it even say?
Put it-- "The next big star
- in Hollywood." - [Rags] Let's pull it out.
Let some more people see it here.
[Romesh] I mean, the content of the banner--
he just took things that Poletus said
and used those in the banner.
Why?
See, it looks bloody nice, right?
#FuckTravel?
- What? - #FuckTravel? Why?
Well, that's the hashtag you're gonna use, buddy.
How are they gonna show that on Extra?
Why wouldn't they?
[Romesh] I started this week thinking it's great
to have my uncle around.
He thinks outside the box
Do you know what I mean? He's got a lot of energy.
He's got a lot of enthusiasm.
I think we've got an opportunity here
- to bloody open it up again-- - No, no, no.
No, I'm not opening it up again.
Let's just go, please.
[Romesh] And now I'm sort of concerned
about having him here,
because he has insane ideas,
his enthusiasm is irritating,
and he just doesn't know when to give up.
[Romesh] The slight cloud to the silver lining of this
is I sent Leesa the details of the house,
and it turns out she hates it,
and I'm staring down the barrel of Leesa and the kids arriving
to stay with me and Rags in one motel room.
So...
I'm probably gonna get a divorce.
♪ Terminator funk ♪
♪ Yo, as the planet spins round and around ♪
♪ Turn the shit up ♪
♪ Let it bump loud in the crowd ♪
♪ The unknown specimen with African cells ♪
♪ Got everybody counting sheep straight slapping themselves ♪
♪ The sound boy burial's already begun ♪
♪ The game needs a funk rebirth, let it be done, son ♪
♪ One nation under a gun, under the thumb ♪
♪ Some of us know the time while the others get dumb ♪
[bright tone]