1 00:00:01,604 --> 00:00:03,521 [bright tone] 2 00:00:05,771 --> 00:00:09,271 [seagulls crying] 3 00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:12,354 ♪ sedate orchestral music ♪ 4 00:00:12,438 --> 00:00:14,938 ♪♪♪ 5 00:00:15,021 --> 00:00:17,813 [Shanthi] Let me get some nice clothes for you, Romi. 6 00:00:17,896 --> 00:00:19,354 [Romesh] Yeah? What would you choose for me? 7 00:00:19,438 --> 00:00:21,146 Because I'll be honest. I don't really trust your taste. 8 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,104 I like that shorts behind you. 9 00:00:22,187 --> 00:00:24,938 Yeah. Like, that's the sort of thing 10 00:00:25,021 --> 00:00:26,438 that shows you don't know anything about me, Mum. 11 00:00:26,521 --> 00:00:28,438 I don't like the style-- your style at all. 12 00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:29,771 Why? What's wrong with my style? 13 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,229 Look at you. Look at your neck. 14 00:00:32,312 --> 00:00:33,021 Why you have to put the buttons up here? 15 00:00:33,104 --> 00:00:35,938 It's like a stuffed turkey. 16 00:00:36,021 --> 00:00:37,604 Let me try. 17 00:00:37,688 --> 00:00:39,563 Maybe you're afraid to show your boobs, I think. 18 00:00:39,646 --> 00:00:41,187 Yeah, that's right. My boobs are up here, 19 00:00:41,271 --> 00:00:41,938 just underneath my Adam's apple. 20 00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:44,229 Anyway, forget that. 21 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:46,187 Shall we select some clothes, da? 22 00:00:46,271 --> 00:00:47,771 Okay, well, I've got some great news for you, actually. 23 00:00:47,855 --> 00:00:48,521 What's that? 24 00:00:48,604 --> 00:00:50,730 Uncle Rags is coming to America. 25 00:00:50,813 --> 00:00:52,813 What? 26 00:00:52,896 --> 00:00:56,479 So you are calling him all the way from Australia? 27 00:00:56,563 --> 00:00:58,104 Yes. 28 00:00:58,187 --> 00:00:59,646 I don't know why you need him there. 29 00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:00,479 I just think he's a good person to have-- 30 00:01:00,563 --> 00:01:03,104 Look at the way he dress up, da. 31 00:01:03,187 --> 00:01:05,312 - [Romesh] Yeah, he looks-- - He looks like a drug dealer. 32 00:01:05,396 --> 00:01:06,896 Ask him to dress well. 33 00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:10,271 I don't want this shaved hair, ponytail here. 34 00:01:10,354 --> 00:01:10,980 He's a good energy to have around, Mom. 35 00:01:11,062 --> 00:01:13,396 He's, like, positive. 36 00:01:13,479 --> 00:01:16,312 So when I tell you to be the positive things, 37 00:01:16,396 --> 00:01:17,980 you are saying, "I'm not going to listen to you." 38 00:01:18,062 --> 00:01:20,146 You said I've got boobs. 39 00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:22,980 Is he coming before me to LA? 40 00:01:24,062 --> 00:01:26,771 What do you think of this? 41 00:01:28,646 --> 00:01:31,646 ♪ dramatic piano music ♪ 42 00:01:31,730 --> 00:01:36,604 ♪♪♪ 43 00:01:38,771 --> 00:01:40,938 [man] So what do you want to achieve this week? 44 00:01:41,021 --> 00:01:43,479 I want to, um, meet up with some people 45 00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:44,896 to talk about how I can actually 46 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,521 sort of push my brand over here 47 00:01:46,604 --> 00:01:48,438 and work out how me and Rags are gonna work together. 48 00:01:48,521 --> 00:01:49,438 [man] Some people might think it's a bit weird 49 00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:52,187 that you've taken your uncle out here first, 50 00:01:52,271 --> 00:01:53,146 before your wife and kids. 51 00:01:53,229 --> 00:01:55,730 If Leesa and the kids came here, 52 00:01:55,813 --> 00:01:56,438 Leesa would be like, "Why the shit 53 00:01:56,521 --> 00:01:58,771 are we staying in a motel?" 54 00:01:58,855 --> 00:02:01,229 Rags'll come in and go, "Fuck, it's indoors? 55 00:02:01,312 --> 00:02:02,813 Amazing!" 56 00:02:02,896 --> 00:02:04,146 ♪ I stay humble ♪ 57 00:02:04,229 --> 00:02:06,229 ♪ And I can't grumble ♪ 58 00:02:06,312 --> 00:02:07,896 ♪ Juggling shit these days just blazin' ♪ 59 00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:09,730 [man] How would you describe him? 60 00:02:09,813 --> 00:02:11,396 [Romesh] He's like an older version of me, 61 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:14,438 but with a genuine, actual lust for life. 62 00:02:14,521 --> 00:02:16,354 ♪ rap music with distorted vocal backup ♪ 63 00:02:16,438 --> 00:02:17,271 ♪ Yeah 4:20 on the clock ♪ 64 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,980 ♪ And I'm ready for the drop ♪ 65 00:02:20,062 --> 00:02:21,771 ♪ You can tell that it's never gonna stop ♪ 66 00:02:21,855 --> 00:02:23,229 ♪ By the way that I'm bowling ♪ 67 00:02:23,312 --> 00:02:24,980 - [laughter] - Shit. 68 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,896 Hi, man. 69 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,271 - Good to see you, brother. - Yes, good to see you. 70 00:02:29,354 --> 00:02:31,229 Very good. What the hell is this, man? 71 00:02:31,312 --> 00:02:31,938 This is a vehicle, bro. 72 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,563 Why have you got this? 73 00:02:33,646 --> 00:02:35,896 We got to be different. You know what I mean? 74 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,396 Because this LA, bro. 75 00:02:37,479 --> 00:02:39,646 Yeah, no, I get your, uh, philosophy. 76 00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:41,312 It's very nice. 77 00:02:41,396 --> 00:02:42,771 You know, we could've gone and got a Maserati, 78 00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:43,646 you know, like, a convertible or something, 79 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,730 but, I mean, it's gonna cost us a-- 80 00:02:45,813 --> 00:02:46,521 - I know. I get it. - I mean, this is cool. 81 00:02:46,604 --> 00:02:48,604 - Yeah. - I mean, you'll love it. 82 00:02:48,688 --> 00:02:49,438 Once you hit the highway, man, it goes, bro. 83 00:02:49,521 --> 00:02:51,855 Well, let me show you the hotel first. 84 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,438 Ah, Rom, look. 85 00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:54,354 Mate, I've seen all this before. 86 00:02:54,438 --> 00:02:56,563 What's the big deal about this hotel? 87 00:02:56,688 --> 00:02:58,104 - I mean, it's all right. - Yeah. 88 00:02:58,146 --> 00:02:59,271 You got a place to sleep in, right? 89 00:02:59,354 --> 00:03:00,896 - Yeah. - That's fine, bro. 90 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,604 Let's go and get the shit done, all right? 91 00:03:02,688 --> 00:03:04,146 That's the main thing. What do you got planned for me? 92 00:03:04,229 --> 00:03:05,438 I'm trying to figure out a way 93 00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:07,771 of, like, marketing myself over here, 94 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,813 so I've arranged a couple of meetings 95 00:03:09,896 --> 00:03:11,354 with, like, brand marketing consultants. 96 00:03:11,438 --> 00:03:13,021 Beautiful, man. Let's go and do it. 97 00:03:13,104 --> 00:03:14,396 All right. 98 00:03:14,479 --> 00:03:16,187 Are you honestly all right to drive this? 99 00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:18,229 Yeah, I'm--I'm cool, mate. 100 00:03:18,312 --> 00:03:19,730 Okay. 101 00:03:19,813 --> 00:03:20,563 Oh, Jesus. Don't hit this guy, please. 102 00:03:20,646 --> 00:03:22,229 - [car horn honks] - [Romesh] Fuck. 103 00:03:22,312 --> 00:03:23,896 We're gonna have to... 104 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:25,479 Oh, my God, this is terrifying. 105 00:03:25,563 --> 00:03:27,354 What? Am I going too close? 106 00:03:27,438 --> 00:03:29,980 [Romesh] Is there a spot you're going for? 107 00:03:30,062 --> 00:03:32,813 [Rags] Kind of this one. I don't know. 108 00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:35,563 I can't see you! 109 00:03:35,646 --> 00:03:36,146 Rom, can you hear me? 110 00:03:36,229 --> 00:03:38,104 Rom, can I come in more? 111 00:03:38,187 --> 00:03:39,479 No, no, no, no, no! 112 00:03:39,563 --> 00:03:41,521 I can't see you in the mirror. 113 00:03:41,604 --> 00:03:42,771 [Romesh] Rags, go forward. 114 00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:44,312 Yeah. 115 00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:46,855 [bangs on truck] Go full lock right 116 00:03:46,938 --> 00:03:48,396 and reverse slowly-- go full lock. 117 00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:49,896 [Romesh] That's it, keep coming. 118 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,104 No, that way, that way, that way! 119 00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:53,980 Will it be all right if you leave it like this? 120 00:03:54,062 --> 00:03:55,396 [Romesh] You ain't gonna get closer than that, mate. 121 00:03:55,479 --> 00:03:57,813 Just leave it. We get a ticket, we get a ticket. 122 00:03:57,896 --> 00:03:58,938 Yeah, I think we should bloody do it. 123 00:03:59,021 --> 00:03:59,855 Okay, come on, let's go. 124 00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:01,771 Look at the size of the fucking limo. 125 00:04:01,813 --> 00:04:02,813 [Romesh] How was that? 126 00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,396 That'll have to do it, man. 127 00:04:04,479 --> 00:04:07,896 [car alarm blaring] 128 00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,521 [blaring stops] 129 00:04:10,604 --> 00:04:11,563 ♪ orchestral waltz playing ♪ 130 00:04:11,646 --> 00:04:14,146 [Romesh] This company called Poletus-- 131 00:04:14,229 --> 00:04:15,688 they saw my Instagram profile, 132 00:04:15,771 --> 00:04:16,354 got in touch with me, and said that they could 133 00:04:16,438 --> 00:04:18,688 help with my social media, 134 00:04:18,771 --> 00:04:20,521 so I thought I'd give it a go. 135 00:04:20,604 --> 00:04:22,354 [Rishabh] Uh, first things first, 136 00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:23,688 pretty much everything you've been doing 137 00:04:23,771 --> 00:04:25,312 with your social media has been wrong. 138 00:04:25,396 --> 00:04:26,813 The fact that you have not been creating 139 00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:28,104 an emotional connection with your fans, right? 140 00:04:28,187 --> 00:04:29,855 So is my content no good? 141 00:04:29,938 --> 00:04:31,021 Yeah, content pretty much sucks as well. 142 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,187 Sorry. 143 00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:34,187 Okay. What else? 144 00:04:34,271 --> 00:04:36,438 You usually do not use 145 00:04:36,521 --> 00:04:38,354 more than about two to three hashtags. 146 00:04:38,438 --> 00:04:40,187 [Rishabh] That's not good social media practice. 147 00:04:40,271 --> 00:04:41,146 So are you supposed to hashtag every post? 148 00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:43,479 I mean, like, for example, 149 00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:45,021 let's say if you were into deadpan comedy. 150 00:04:45,104 --> 00:04:46,312 They would never find your picture, 151 00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:48,354 'cause it is not tagged with it. 152 00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,563 [Rishabh] Now, excuse my language. 153 00:04:50,646 --> 00:04:52,396 One of your most engaging hashtags 154 00:04:52,479 --> 00:04:54,062 has been "#FuckTravel." 155 00:04:54,146 --> 00:04:55,646 - Very relatable. - [Romesh] Yeah, thank you. 156 00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:58,229 [Rags] The F-travel really works, though, doesn't it? 157 00:04:58,312 --> 00:04:59,896 So use more of that? 158 00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:03,021 [Bryant] Curate posts around it, so when you are traveling, 159 00:05:03,104 --> 00:05:03,771 - make it this whole thing. - Yeah. 160 00:05:03,855 --> 00:05:04,980 You know, like, #FuckTravel. 161 00:05:05,062 --> 00:05:06,396 [Romesh] Right. 162 00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:08,896 So that's like a brand? #FuckTravel. 163 00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:10,062 Yeah. 164 00:05:10,146 --> 00:05:11,021 Every day is a new day 165 00:05:11,104 --> 00:05:13,354 for you to reaffirm or reimagine your brand. 166 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,730 [Bryant] 'Cause I'm going through your brand, all right? 167 00:05:15,813 --> 00:05:16,354 You're a very unique individual. 168 00:05:16,438 --> 00:05:17,730 You're hilarious, right? 169 00:05:17,813 --> 00:05:20,396 But it doesn't-- it doesn't come off that way. 170 00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,271 But it's a dance, right? 171 00:05:23,354 --> 00:05:24,229 Social media is a dance, specifically. 172 00:05:24,312 --> 00:05:25,438 It's 80%, 20%. All right? 173 00:05:25,521 --> 00:05:27,771 80%, I'm gonna inform you. All right? 174 00:05:27,855 --> 00:05:29,396 Boom, boom, I'm gonna inform you. 175 00:05:29,479 --> 00:05:30,730 I'm gonna educate you. I'm gonna love you. 176 00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:32,396 I'm gonna share my journey with you. 177 00:05:32,479 --> 00:05:33,646 Then the other 20% is a call to action. 178 00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:35,354 Exactly. 179 00:05:35,438 --> 00:05:36,438 [Romesh] Can I just ask-- I'm fascinated by this. 180 00:05:36,521 --> 00:05:38,938 - You like it? - I really like it. 181 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:40,730 - Yeah, what is it? - What it is--it's my brand. 182 00:05:40,813 --> 00:05:41,813 - You wear that every day? - [Bryant] I always wear it. 183 00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,187 - [Rishabh] He always wears it. - I wear it to bed. 184 00:05:44,271 --> 00:05:45,104 I wear it in the morning. Makes me interesting. 185 00:05:45,187 --> 00:05:47,021 [chuckles] 186 00:05:47,104 --> 00:05:48,229 [Rishabh] Um, so... 187 00:05:48,312 --> 00:05:50,604 our algorithm went through 188 00:05:50,688 --> 00:05:52,521 each and every post that you have had, 189 00:05:52,604 --> 00:05:54,771 and what we found out were 190 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,771 your most engaging emotions-- but you don't do them often-- 191 00:05:56,855 --> 00:06:00,021 are actually when you're being very inspirational, 192 00:06:00,104 --> 00:06:02,604 you're being very reflective, okay? 193 00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:04,771 And you're also being a little bit angry. 194 00:06:04,855 --> 00:06:05,980 But I don't think I've been inspirational 195 00:06:06,062 --> 00:06:06,730 in my entire life. 196 00:06:06,813 --> 00:06:08,980 But that's what you think. 197 00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:10,646 They see something in you maybe--I hate to say it-- 198 00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:13,062 maybe you haven't seen in yourself yet, you know? 199 00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:13,938 Look at what you're trying to do. 200 00:06:14,021 --> 00:06:15,730 It's one of the most inspirational things 201 00:06:15,813 --> 00:06:17,438 I've ever seen, okay? 202 00:06:17,521 --> 00:06:19,938 People are actually looking up to you, 203 00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:21,104 and I think maybe you need to own it. 204 00:06:21,187 --> 00:06:23,646 You have to really own it that, yes, you know what? 205 00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:26,062 I am a comedian. I actually change lives. 206 00:06:26,146 --> 00:06:26,521 Yes. 207 00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:28,312 Why do you think 208 00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:31,062 I am giving my time 209 00:06:31,146 --> 00:06:32,479 to you? 210 00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:34,271 [Bryant] How do you feel? 211 00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:35,730 'Cause look at how passionate he is, 212 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:38,479 and I'm not getting the same back from you. 213 00:06:38,563 --> 00:06:40,396 [Romesh] It was an unusual resolution 214 00:06:40,479 --> 00:06:41,813 in that after having initially got in touch with me, 215 00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:44,938 the resolution was that they didn't want to work with me. 216 00:06:45,021 --> 00:06:48,021 He's telling me he wants to fill out 6,000 seats, 217 00:06:48,104 --> 00:06:49,479 and he's barely talking. 218 00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:51,021 [Romesh] So apparently I don't have 219 00:06:51,104 --> 00:06:52,479 the requisite energy that they require 220 00:06:52,563 --> 00:06:55,104 in order to get on board with me. 221 00:06:55,187 --> 00:06:56,688 What they were also very annoyed about 222 00:06:56,771 --> 00:06:58,938 was the existence of Rags. 223 00:06:59,021 --> 00:07:01,104 If he was to get, like, this sort of numbers 224 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,563 following him that you're talking about, right? 225 00:07:02,646 --> 00:07:04,104 - Sure. - Would that guarantee him 226 00:07:04,187 --> 00:07:06,563 a star role in a movie here in Hollywood? 227 00:07:06,646 --> 00:07:07,813 - It's a currency now. - [Rishabh] It opens the door. 228 00:07:07,896 --> 00:07:09,396 It's a currency now. Absolutely. 229 00:07:09,479 --> 00:07:10,521 [Rishabh] It's called social currency. 230 00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:11,855 - Okay. - [Rags] From there, 231 00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:13,271 can we speak to Steven Spielberg 232 00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:14,187 or some big director or producer, 233 00:07:14,312 --> 00:07:15,563 someone like that? 234 00:07:15,646 --> 00:07:17,813 Do you guys do things like that? 235 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,479 No, we're an intelligence company. 236 00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:22,312 Yeah, so pretty much, you give a plan, like-- 237 00:07:22,396 --> 00:07:24,521 No, it's more than that. 238 00:07:24,604 --> 00:07:26,771 We help a crash-and-burn scenario, 239 00:07:26,855 --> 00:07:28,479 because this right here is a crash-and-burn scenario. 240 00:07:28,563 --> 00:07:30,479 But would you be able to guarantee, like, 241 00:07:30,563 --> 00:07:32,146 within this period 242 00:07:32,229 --> 00:07:34,479 that you would get so many fans or something like that? 243 00:07:34,563 --> 00:07:35,980 Wait a second, Uncle. 244 00:07:36,062 --> 00:07:37,312 In all of my marketing, I've never heard 245 00:07:37,396 --> 00:07:40,604 a more ridiculous assumption. 246 00:07:40,688 --> 00:07:42,479 [Romesh] They didn't like Rags, 247 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,104 and by "didn't like," 248 00:07:44,187 --> 00:07:45,980 I mean, "fucking hated him, wanted him dead." 249 00:07:46,062 --> 00:07:47,646 Hey, do you want to see something cool? 250 00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:49,896 - Yeah, of--always. - All right, cool. 251 00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:51,771 Let me blow your mind away. Hold on. 252 00:07:51,855 --> 00:07:53,521 Am I--are we following you? 253 00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:55,271 [man] Did they have any good ideas? 254 00:07:55,354 --> 00:07:56,521 Yeah, they did. 255 00:07:56,604 --> 00:07:57,563 My Instagram is shit. 256 00:07:57,646 --> 00:08:00,312 I'm not great on Twitter. So I did-- 257 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,312 I do take some of those tips on board, 258 00:08:02,396 --> 00:08:05,062 but all of that was sort of undermined 259 00:08:05,146 --> 00:08:07,021 by the way that they decided to close out the meeting. 260 00:08:07,104 --> 00:08:09,104 [intense piano music] 261 00:08:09,187 --> 00:08:15,062 ♪♪♪ 262 00:08:34,771 --> 00:08:36,896 [airy flute music] 263 00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:39,479 [Romesh] Even if they'd said, "We want to work with you. 264 00:08:39,563 --> 00:08:41,062 We can sell out the Greek," 265 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:41,855 and then he'd started playing the flute, 266 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,896 I'd go, "I'm sorry, man. I'm out." 267 00:08:43,980 --> 00:08:46,021 Also, you're an Indian in America. 268 00:08:46,104 --> 00:08:47,229 They don't know much about us, mate. 269 00:08:47,312 --> 00:08:48,229 Don't play the flute. 270 00:08:48,312 --> 00:08:49,646 They'll think you're a fucking snake charmer. 271 00:08:49,688 --> 00:08:52,312 Don't reinforce a stereotype. 272 00:08:52,396 --> 00:08:55,396 [flute music continues] 273 00:08:55,479 --> 00:08:57,146 ♪♪♪ 274 00:08:57,229 --> 00:08:58,771 ♪ sedate jazz music ♪ 275 00:08:58,855 --> 00:09:00,813 [Rags] That guy was going around in circles 276 00:09:00,896 --> 00:09:03,354 - about the same thing-- - Yeah, that is true. 277 00:09:03,438 --> 00:09:05,604 Social media, social media, social media. 278 00:09:05,688 --> 00:09:07,146 I thought they were weird guys, 279 00:09:07,229 --> 00:09:09,021 but I thought they had some nice ideas. 280 00:09:09,104 --> 00:09:10,354 The thing that they were talking about 281 00:09:10,438 --> 00:09:11,229 maybe, you know, keeping it 282 00:09:11,312 --> 00:09:13,479 a little bit positive, inspirational-- 283 00:09:13,563 --> 00:09:16,312 - [Jose] Hey, Rom! - Jose! 284 00:09:16,396 --> 00:09:17,271 - What's up? - How you doing, man? 285 00:09:17,354 --> 00:09:19,021 - How's it going? - How's it going, man? 286 00:09:19,104 --> 00:09:20,104 - All right. - Good seeing you. 287 00:09:20,187 --> 00:09:21,104 This is my Uncle Rags. 288 00:09:21,187 --> 00:09:22,312 Hey, nice to meet you. 289 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,312 - Is this Jose? - My name's Jose. 290 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,479 Hey, I heard about you, man. How you doing, bro? 291 00:09:25,563 --> 00:09:26,563 I love your hairdo. 292 00:09:26,646 --> 00:09:28,229 Yeah? Oh, thank you, man. 293 00:09:28,312 --> 00:09:30,396 - I like your cap, too. - Nice earrings, too. 294 00:09:30,479 --> 00:09:31,855 - Ah, sit down man. - Yeah, man. 295 00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:32,855 [Jose] You enjoying the food? 296 00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:35,187 - [Romesh] Very nice. - [Rags] Oh, yeah, yeah. 297 00:09:35,271 --> 00:09:36,187 - No, it's nice, yeah. - Really good, huh? 298 00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:40,146 Corn chips could be a little bit more browner. 299 00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:42,146 Yeah, I got to talk to these guys about that. 300 00:09:42,229 --> 00:09:45,354 - Yeah, sounds good. - [laughs] 301 00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:46,896 So how's your day been going? 302 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:48,646 We had a meeting about marketing, brand-- 303 00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:51,187 - like about marketing myself-- - Yeah, yeah. 304 00:09:51,271 --> 00:09:52,980 - Are you on Instagram? - Yeah. 305 00:09:53,062 --> 00:09:55,062 What sort of hashtags would you put on a photo? 306 00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:56,813 For me, it's just food. 307 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,021 [Romesh] They've told me that I've got to do 308 00:09:58,104 --> 00:09:59,104 more Instagram posts. 309 00:09:59,187 --> 00:10:00,021 Hello, this is me, 310 00:10:00,104 --> 00:10:01,688 with my brother from another mother-- 311 00:10:01,771 --> 00:10:04,521 - Jose. - And another father maybe. 312 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,396 Yeah, and another father. And this is my Uncle Rags. 313 00:10:07,479 --> 00:10:09,688 [Romesh] Say hello, Rags. 314 00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:11,855 Sweet. Bye. 315 00:10:11,938 --> 00:10:12,396 I'll put #Jose, #Ragu. 316 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,730 Any other hashtags? 317 00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:16,021 #Rom. 318 00:10:16,104 --> 00:10:18,271 - #FuckTravel. - Remember the other one? 319 00:10:18,354 --> 00:10:19,604 What was the other one that they said? 320 00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:21,688 I'm not putting #DeadpanComedy. 321 00:10:21,771 --> 00:10:22,521 Deadpan is, like, there's someone from the hospital 322 00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:24,688 gonna bloody like it. 323 00:10:24,771 --> 00:10:25,646 [both] That's a bedpan. 324 00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:29,521 ♪ upbeat percussive music ♪ 325 00:10:29,604 --> 00:10:32,771 ♪♪♪ 326 00:10:32,855 --> 00:10:34,730 [Romesh] You know this Instagram post. 327 00:10:34,813 --> 00:10:36,563 Oh, right, with Jose? 328 00:10:36,646 --> 00:10:38,896 Yeah. 17,000 views. 329 00:10:38,980 --> 00:10:40,229 There you go. 330 00:10:40,312 --> 00:10:42,062 So I've got to call Leesa. 331 00:10:42,146 --> 00:10:44,187 She just said I need to call her about the house, 332 00:10:44,271 --> 00:10:47,646 and I've done absolutely nothing about it, so... 333 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,896 How hard would that be, man? 334 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,563 Just get on the Internet, Google it, 335 00:10:50,646 --> 00:10:52,062 and fucking find it, man. 336 00:10:52,146 --> 00:10:53,855 It's not as easy as that. 337 00:10:53,938 --> 00:10:55,688 You have to, like, find the right place, don't you? 338 00:10:55,771 --> 00:10:57,896 You have to go and look at places. 339 00:10:57,980 --> 00:10:59,438 When have we had time to do that? 340 00:10:59,521 --> 00:11:00,855 I mean, all she wants is a nice place, right? 341 00:11:00,938 --> 00:11:04,354 With a pool and a big garden and things like that 342 00:11:04,438 --> 00:11:06,062 and, like, a few bedrooms for the kids. 343 00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:07,646 You've described a house, yes. 344 00:11:07,730 --> 00:11:10,980 Yeah, get a nice big place, and she will be happy. 345 00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,604 Man, don't tell her I'm here, all right? 346 00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,604 - [line trilling] - Why? 347 00:11:14,688 --> 00:11:16,062 Because then I have to get involved, because-- 348 00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:18,521 She's not gonna be dying to talk to you. Don't worry. 349 00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:21,604 - [line trilling] - Hello, it's Rom. 350 00:11:21,688 --> 00:11:23,521 I'm here with Rags. 351 00:11:23,604 --> 00:11:26,271 I'm not here, Leesa. 352 00:11:26,354 --> 00:11:27,604 Yeah, all right. 353 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:28,855 [Leesa] So... 354 00:11:34,187 --> 00:11:36,104 So have you been looking, then? 355 00:11:36,187 --> 00:11:37,938 But how are you better equipped to look than me? 356 00:11:38,021 --> 00:11:40,312 I'm here, and you're there. You're look-- 357 00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:47,062 So I'm going to see this house for you? 358 00:11:47,146 --> 00:11:47,730 And how much do you like it? 359 00:11:47,813 --> 00:11:50,938 What you shaking your head-- 360 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:53,938 Okay, so you want it, do you? 361 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:55,271 Okay. All right, I'll have a look. 362 00:11:55,354 --> 00:11:57,938 [Romesh] Should we sort out looking at this place, then? 363 00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,354 - All right, let's go, man. - All right. 364 00:12:00,438 --> 00:12:03,146 By the way, do you mind driving the vehicle today? 365 00:12:03,229 --> 00:12:03,938 Why? 366 00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,187 You want to experience that, mate. 367 00:12:06,271 --> 00:12:07,563 It's bloody nice. 368 00:12:07,646 --> 00:12:09,813 You don't like driving it, do you? 369 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,938 ♪ Scoot ♪ 370 00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:13,855 ♪♪♪ 371 00:12:13,938 --> 00:12:16,104 ♪ You see me driving, see me driving ♪ 372 00:12:16,187 --> 00:12:19,229 ♪ Front's out so you know I'm always smiling ♪ 373 00:12:19,312 --> 00:12:22,479 ♪ You say mother hens forever vibing ♪ 374 00:12:22,563 --> 00:12:25,354 ♪ Four by four, we're shining like a diamond ♪ 375 00:12:25,438 --> 00:12:27,187 Thanks a lot, buddy, for driving, all right? 376 00:12:27,271 --> 00:12:28,521 [Romesh] I feel like I'm driving a boat 377 00:12:28,604 --> 00:12:29,730 through LA, man. 378 00:12:29,813 --> 00:12:31,271 [Rags] Yeah, that's what it is. 379 00:12:31,354 --> 00:12:32,312 - And, remember, Rom... - Yeah. 380 00:12:32,396 --> 00:12:34,146 I'm gonna have to be with you for a little while 381 00:12:34,229 --> 00:12:37,688 until I go back, right, to get you through this stage. 382 00:12:37,771 --> 00:12:39,396 - Yeah. - Just please consider that, 383 00:12:39,479 --> 00:12:40,855 you know, I don't want to be, like, 384 00:12:40,938 --> 00:12:42,104 in the way of Leesa and kids and all that. 385 00:12:42,187 --> 00:12:44,980 There's a very easy way for you to do that, actually-- 386 00:12:45,062 --> 00:12:46,479 to be in another house. 387 00:12:48,354 --> 00:12:50,980 ♪ sedate music ♪ 388 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,688 [Romesh] Yeah, this is it. Looks nice, right? 389 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:54,146 [Rags] Oh, yeah, it looks good, mate. 390 00:12:54,229 --> 00:12:56,646 Yeah, I like those palm trees. 391 00:12:56,730 --> 00:12:58,146 - Hello? - [man] Hey. 392 00:12:58,229 --> 00:12:59,938 - Hi, Romesh. - Romesh. Carmine. 393 00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:01,146 - [both] Nice to meet you. - How you doing, man? 394 00:13:01,229 --> 00:13:03,104 - This is my Uncle Rags. - [Rags] Hi. Rags. 395 00:13:03,187 --> 00:13:04,187 - [Carmine] Come on in. - [Rags] All right, thank you. 396 00:13:04,271 --> 00:13:06,855 [Romesh] You've been speaking to Leesa, right? 397 00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:08,396 - [Carmine] Yeah. - [Romesh] So I'm gonna try 398 00:13:08,479 --> 00:13:11,104 - and see if I can get her. - [phone ringing] 399 00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:12,980 - [Leesa] Hello? - Hello? Hello? 400 00:13:13,062 --> 00:13:14,813 We're in the house. This is Carmine, 401 00:13:14,896 --> 00:13:15,896 - who you've spoken to. - Hi, Leesa. How are you? 402 00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:18,146 Good. Well, he's finally here 403 00:13:18,229 --> 00:13:19,730 at the house that you really liked, 404 00:13:19,813 --> 00:13:21,521 so we thought maybe it'd be a good idea 405 00:13:21,604 --> 00:13:23,604 to take you on a little virtual tour with us. 406 00:13:23,688 --> 00:13:25,021 [Carmine] This area particularly, 407 00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,479 I think is a nice area for entertaining. 408 00:13:27,563 --> 00:13:28,938 Nice little fireplace. 409 00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:31,521 What do you think, Leesa? 410 00:13:31,604 --> 00:13:33,354 [man] What did you make of the house? 411 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,521 [Romesh] The truth is, my opinion 412 00:13:34,604 --> 00:13:37,021 doesn't really matter in these sorts of decisions. 413 00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:38,855 Look at this. 414 00:13:38,938 --> 00:13:41,021 - Yeah. - So you've got the pool 415 00:13:41,104 --> 00:13:42,980 and the Jacuzzi with the waterfall. 416 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:43,521 [Romesh] The house that we bought in the UK, 417 00:13:43,646 --> 00:13:45,980 I hadn't seen 418 00:13:46,062 --> 00:13:48,062 before we'd made an offer and had it accepted, 419 00:13:48,146 --> 00:13:50,187 and also, I'm just not that fussy, 420 00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:52,938 so how I figure it is, if she likes it, we're in. 421 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:53,813 [man] Are you saying you bought a house 422 00:13:53,896 --> 00:13:55,646 without having stepped in it? 423 00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:57,271 Correct, yeah. 424 00:13:57,354 --> 00:13:58,354 [Romesh] Leesa, we've seen everything, 425 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:02,563 so I'm gonna call you back in a bit, all right? 426 00:14:02,646 --> 00:14:03,563 But you like it, yeah? 427 00:14:03,646 --> 00:14:05,938 Yeah, okay. 428 00:14:06,021 --> 00:14:09,438 Okay, so how much is it for--for this? 429 00:14:09,521 --> 00:14:13,438 The, uh--the monthly lease is $16,000 a month, 430 00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:14,771 which I know may be a little bit 431 00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,229 of a sticker shock for you. 432 00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:18,438 - Yeah. - [laughs] 433 00:14:18,521 --> 00:14:20,354 You know, it's actually pretty reasonable 434 00:14:20,438 --> 00:14:21,896 for this size of a home. 435 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:24,271 So it's not bad at all, man. 436 00:14:24,354 --> 00:14:25,980 That's quite cheap, isn't it? 437 00:14:26,062 --> 00:14:26,771 Right. 438 00:14:26,855 --> 00:14:28,271 That's very cheap. 439 00:14:28,354 --> 00:14:32,354 Property prices in LA are unacceptable, 440 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,771 and I can't believe 441 00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:35,479 there's a single person living here. 442 00:14:35,563 --> 00:14:36,604 This should be, 443 00:14:36,688 --> 00:14:39,312 like, a desolate Mad Max style ghost town. 444 00:14:39,396 --> 00:14:40,980 You know, it's a lot of money. 445 00:14:41,062 --> 00:14:42,438 Do you know what I mean? And that's why I'm sort of-- 446 00:14:42,521 --> 00:14:43,438 [Carmine] You know, if we are wanting 447 00:14:43,521 --> 00:14:44,646 to go down in price, it's gonna compromise 448 00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:47,021 the size and space. 449 00:14:47,104 --> 00:14:47,813 By how much? 450 00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:49,312 No, if anything, bigger, 451 00:14:49,396 --> 00:14:51,354 - but this is fine. - [Carmine] Right. 452 00:14:51,438 --> 00:14:54,187 [Romesh] I don't know what Uncle Rags was doing. 453 00:14:54,271 --> 00:14:55,771 He was saying it was cheap. 454 00:14:55,855 --> 00:14:56,479 He was saying it's an amazing. 455 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,813 Did you hear him at any point 456 00:14:58,896 --> 00:15:00,146 suggest that he might chip in for the rent? 457 00:15:00,229 --> 00:15:02,563 Leesa--I mean, you heard what Leesa was saying. 458 00:15:02,646 --> 00:15:04,855 Right. 459 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,271 I was just wondering if there's any way 460 00:15:06,354 --> 00:15:09,062 that you could sort of email her to sort of go like, 461 00:15:09,146 --> 00:15:09,980 "This isn't the right place for you." 462 00:15:10,062 --> 00:15:12,688 But I do think it's a good fit. 463 00:15:12,771 --> 00:15:15,146 Yes, I know, I know. 464 00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:16,813 So you want me to lie to Leesa? 465 00:15:16,896 --> 00:15:17,855 - [Romesh] Uh... - [Carmine] 'Cause I'm not 466 00:15:17,938 --> 00:15:19,980 comfortable lying to her about it. 467 00:15:20,062 --> 00:15:22,688 Plan B was to ask Rags and the realtor 468 00:15:22,771 --> 00:15:24,646 to sort of step outside for a little bit 469 00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:25,730 and then call Leesa 470 00:15:25,813 --> 00:15:28,312 and have a proper sort of honest exploration 471 00:15:28,396 --> 00:15:30,104 of the house. 472 00:15:30,187 --> 00:15:31,688 The issue is, I don't want her 473 00:15:31,771 --> 00:15:33,021 to know what the fucking prices are here. 474 00:15:33,104 --> 00:15:35,688 If she's just walked around the house, 475 00:15:35,771 --> 00:15:38,521 she's found it, she loves it, and then I say to her, 476 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,438 "You saw that house that you loved? 477 00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:40,980 You know that level of accommodation 478 00:15:41,062 --> 00:15:43,563 that you think is perfect and ideal? 479 00:15:43,646 --> 00:15:46,021 That's so far above our budget, it's unbelievable." 480 00:15:46,104 --> 00:15:47,521 I reckon we are in. 481 00:15:47,604 --> 00:15:48,896 Yeah, I think it's--I mean, I really do think 482 00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,271 - it's the right fit. - Yeah. 483 00:15:50,354 --> 00:15:51,396 It's like going to a kid-- 484 00:15:51,479 --> 00:15:52,396 "Do you like this toy? 485 00:15:52,479 --> 00:15:54,146 Do you like this toy?" 486 00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,271 "Yes, it's my favorite toy. I'd love that toy." 487 00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,730 "You can't have it." 488 00:15:56,813 --> 00:15:58,312 I'm gonna get him to do this deal for you. 489 00:15:58,396 --> 00:15:59,980 - Yeah. - Right. 490 00:16:00,062 --> 00:16:01,896 So it's gonna beneficial to you and also for us. 491 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,521 - Yeah, of course. - Particularly me, right? 492 00:16:03,646 --> 00:16:04,855 - Yeah. - "Would you like 493 00:16:04,938 --> 00:16:06,062 a much smaller, 494 00:16:06,146 --> 00:16:07,521 shittier version of this toy 495 00:16:07,646 --> 00:16:08,771 that has some safety issues? 496 00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:10,104 'Cause I can get you that." 497 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,312 [stomps foot] That floor is so hard, Leesa. 498 00:16:13,396 --> 00:16:15,521 [stomps foot] Do you not think that's too much? 499 00:16:15,604 --> 00:16:16,604 Can you hear-- [stomps foot] 500 00:16:16,688 --> 00:16:17,646 Can you hear that? 501 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:19,604 Look at--can you hear that? 502 00:16:22,104 --> 00:16:24,062 Yeah. 503 00:16:24,146 --> 00:16:25,730 [Carmine] Romesh just has to get over the sticker price. 504 00:16:25,813 --> 00:16:26,813 I'll make sure that happens, mate. 505 00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:28,646 - Okay. - He's my nephew. 506 00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:30,062 - You know what I mean? - That's what I'll tell him. 507 00:16:30,146 --> 00:16:31,938 - Right. - That's really dark. 508 00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:32,688 These doors probably suck the light out. 509 00:16:32,771 --> 00:16:34,688 Look at that. 510 00:16:34,771 --> 00:16:37,563 That's horrible, isn't it? 511 00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:39,271 We'll probably end up buying this place. 512 00:16:39,354 --> 00:16:41,438 You know what I mean? That's a very good possibility. 513 00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:42,563 Yeah. 514 00:16:42,646 --> 00:16:43,855 Oh, Jesus! 515 00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:45,104 That is-- 516 00:16:45,187 --> 00:16:47,062 Leesa, that step is a nightmare. 517 00:16:47,146 --> 00:16:50,021 Can you imagine if that was one of the kids or something? 518 00:16:50,104 --> 00:16:51,730 [man] Why are you falling over steps? 519 00:16:51,813 --> 00:16:55,229 Did I pretend to trip over a step that was perfectly fine 520 00:16:55,312 --> 00:16:57,938 in order to help hammer my point home? Yes. 521 00:16:58,021 --> 00:17:00,813 Did I pretend that the wood was really, really dark 522 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,438 and, in fact, it was absolutely beautiful 523 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:03,229 and possibly some of the nicest interior furnishing 524 00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:05,771 I've ever seen in my life? Yes. 525 00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:08,187 Do I think that what I did was the wrong thing? 526 00:17:08,271 --> 00:17:09,938 No, I don't, 'cause there's absolutely no way 527 00:17:10,021 --> 00:17:10,730 I can afford that fucking place. 528 00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:13,396 I don't know exactly. 529 00:17:13,479 --> 00:17:14,855 I'm gonna find out from the guy in a minute, 530 00:17:14,938 --> 00:17:16,229 but you're sure, though? 531 00:17:16,312 --> 00:17:18,896 Because it is very-- that step's a nightmare. 532 00:17:21,187 --> 00:17:22,813 [Romesh] Thanks very much for that. 533 00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:23,604 - [Carmine] Yeah, of course. - Um... 534 00:17:23,688 --> 00:17:25,771 - How'd it go? - Appreciate it. 535 00:17:25,855 --> 00:17:27,104 Yeah, oh, she loves it, so I guess I'll be in touch. 536 00:17:27,187 --> 00:17:28,896 Yeah, just keep me posted. 537 00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:31,604 I said to him I was gonna be in touch. 538 00:17:31,688 --> 00:17:32,521 Uh... 539 00:17:32,604 --> 00:17:34,896 And that's probably my biggest lie, 540 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:36,312 because I've got no intention of ever contacting him 541 00:17:36,396 --> 00:17:37,563 ever again in my life. 542 00:17:37,646 --> 00:17:40,771 ♪ Never had a problem with telling you how it is ♪ 543 00:17:40,855 --> 00:17:42,938 ♪ Never had an issue with showing you how it's done ♪ 544 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:45,479 [insects chirping] 545 00:17:45,563 --> 00:17:48,271 [Romesh] Tomorrow I was thinking we could go to Venice, 546 00:17:48,354 --> 00:17:50,980 - do a load of flyering. - That's old-school, man. 547 00:17:51,062 --> 00:17:52,521 No, I know, but that's what-- that's how I-- 548 00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:53,688 you know, when I was doing Edinburgh Festival, 549 00:17:53,771 --> 00:17:55,146 that's what I did. 550 00:17:55,229 --> 00:17:56,771 I spent hours and hours flyering people. 551 00:17:56,855 --> 00:17:57,730 And what did you get out of it? 552 00:17:57,813 --> 00:18:00,104 We filled the venue that we were playing at. 553 00:18:00,187 --> 00:18:01,771 Whatever you want. That's fine. 554 00:18:01,855 --> 00:18:03,604 Okay, give me an exam-- how would you do it, though? 555 00:18:03,688 --> 00:18:04,604 If you're handing a flyer, what would you s-- 556 00:18:04,688 --> 00:18:06,354 - I would-- - Like, imagine I'm a flyerer. 557 00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:07,980 [Rags] I'll give the flyer, 558 00:18:08,062 --> 00:18:09,730 and then I'd try to take it away from you. 559 00:18:09,813 --> 00:18:12,521 You know, like, that take-away principle. 560 00:18:12,604 --> 00:18:14,312 - You know how it works? - No, go on. 561 00:18:14,396 --> 00:18:16,146 All right, it's just like, you hand over 562 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,771 and let them fucking drool on it, 563 00:18:18,855 --> 00:18:20,104 you know, they look at it and they go, 564 00:18:20,187 --> 00:18:21,980 "Wow, you know, this looks good," 565 00:18:22,062 --> 00:18:23,688 and you bloody take it away from them, mate. 566 00:18:23,771 --> 00:18:24,730 - [Rags] It's gonna work. - So you give them the flyer. 567 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,354 - [Rags] Yeah. - Then as they go to take it, 568 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,312 you take it away? 569 00:18:27,396 --> 00:18:28,771 And then you go, 570 00:18:28,855 --> 00:18:31,187 "Mate, this is one-only show, 571 00:18:31,229 --> 00:18:34,688 but we need you to book it now." 572 00:18:34,771 --> 00:18:36,479 Yeah, but we don't have any tickets. 573 00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:38,604 Oh, shit. We might have to carry a-- 574 00:18:38,688 --> 00:18:41,396 like, a notebook or something, and put their names down. 575 00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:43,646 Carry a notebook? 576 00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:44,730 - [Rags] Yeah. - And write their names down? 577 00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:48,312 Yeah, and then we just come home and sort it out. 578 00:18:48,396 --> 00:18:49,813 You know? You happy with that? 579 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:52,146 Yeah, I don't know why more people don't do that. 580 00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:54,604 I don't know why they bothered starting up Ticketmaster. 581 00:18:54,688 --> 00:18:55,563 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 582 00:18:55,646 --> 00:18:58,354 [man] So how's the house hunting going? 583 00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,187 [Romesh] Well, actually, I've had some good news 584 00:19:00,271 --> 00:19:01,896 on that front, as in Carmine's actually found a place 585 00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:05,062 that's within budget. 586 00:19:05,146 --> 00:19:07,021 [man] That's good. And have you sorted out the flyers? 587 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,980 Yeah. Here's a flyer. 588 00:19:10,062 --> 00:19:10,646 [man] Isn't that the same photo 589 00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,354 you used for your UK tour? 590 00:19:12,438 --> 00:19:13,813 - Yes. - [man] Couldn't you have 591 00:19:13,896 --> 00:19:14,563 done a new one or something fresh? 592 00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:16,062 [Romesh] I haven't changed much 593 00:19:16,146 --> 00:19:17,563 as an image, though, have I? 594 00:19:17,646 --> 00:19:18,813 If I was now living as a white woman, 595 00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:22,021 then, yes, maybe I should get a new photo, but I think-- 596 00:19:22,104 --> 00:19:23,896 I think people will know it's me. 597 00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:26,021 [man singing indistinctly] 598 00:19:26,104 --> 00:19:26,813 Hello, do you like stand-up comedy? 599 00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:28,271 I'm doing a show at the Greek. No? 600 00:19:28,354 --> 00:19:30,438 G'day. Come to our show, man. 601 00:19:30,521 --> 00:19:32,479 It's a comedy show, no? Right. 602 00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:35,521 Stand-up show at the Greek. 603 00:19:35,604 --> 00:19:36,604 Really rude, guys. 604 00:19:36,688 --> 00:19:39,646 [Romesh] Haven't seen you try this takeaway method. 605 00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:40,855 - I did. - When? 606 00:19:40,938 --> 00:19:41,938 - Did you see the-- - No. 607 00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:43,646 Those guys that put the-- 608 00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:45,688 No, look, try it on these people walking to us here. 609 00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,146 G'day, gentlemen. 610 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,062 - You guys stayin' here? - No, thanks, man. 611 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:52,021 [Rags] Yeah, you know, the most famous comedian from UK, man. 612 00:19:52,104 --> 00:19:52,896 - [Romesh] Hey. - What? 613 00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:54,396 [Romesh] You didn't take it away. 614 00:19:54,479 --> 00:19:56,187 He wouldn't take it, would he? 615 00:19:56,271 --> 00:19:58,271 Like, he's got to hold it first for me to take it away, man. 616 00:19:58,354 --> 00:20:00,771 But if he holds it to take it, then he's taken it. 617 00:20:00,855 --> 00:20:02,229 Excuse me. Interested in comedy? 618 00:20:02,312 --> 00:20:03,813 - [woman] No, thank you. - Yeah? 619 00:20:03,896 --> 00:20:06,771 Just have a look at it and see how you go. 620 00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:08,604 - They're just walking away. - You didn't take it. 621 00:20:08,688 --> 00:20:09,604 Not everyone's gonna hold it, are they? 622 00:20:09,688 --> 00:20:12,146 Yeah, but the reason they're not--the reason 623 00:20:12,229 --> 00:20:13,604 they're not holding it is because your method 624 00:20:13,688 --> 00:20:15,438 - is a load of rubbish. - Yeah, no, no, no. 625 00:20:15,521 --> 00:20:16,521 - The method works. - Let me try it. 626 00:20:16,604 --> 00:20:18,980 ♪♪♪ 627 00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:23,146 I cannot explain to you how quickly 628 00:20:23,229 --> 00:20:26,146 my enthusiasm dissolved. 629 00:20:26,229 --> 00:20:28,271 [Rags] Coming for a show? It's a great comedy show, man. 630 00:20:28,354 --> 00:20:29,688 From UK. Here you go. 631 00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:30,521 [Romesh] Oh, you gave one away. 632 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:34,312 Stand-up comedy show at the Greek? 633 00:20:34,396 --> 00:20:36,354 - Stand-up comedy at the Greek? - [woman] No, thank you. 634 00:20:36,438 --> 00:20:38,146 Comedy at the Greek? Cheers, mate. 635 00:20:38,229 --> 00:20:39,062 Why are they taking them from you and not me? 636 00:20:39,146 --> 00:20:41,813 I have no idea. 637 00:20:41,896 --> 00:20:42,688 [man] Rags was very good at it, wasn't he? 638 00:20:42,771 --> 00:20:45,771 Yeah, Rags was surprisingly good at it. 639 00:20:45,855 --> 00:20:47,271 How you going, bro? Here, it's free. 640 00:20:47,354 --> 00:20:50,813 Why are you telling people it's free? 641 00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:52,813 The--this is free. 642 00:20:52,896 --> 00:20:53,813 [Romesh] He has got a charm 643 00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:56,688 that, when you're around it for a long time, 644 00:20:56,771 --> 00:20:58,062 starts to become irritating, 645 00:20:58,146 --> 00:21:00,479 but, upon initial exposure to it, 646 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:04,479 is absolutely endearing and enchanting. 647 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:06,062 - [Rags] Hello, ladies. - [woman] Hello. 648 00:21:06,146 --> 00:21:08,104 We've got a show on the 21st. 649 00:21:08,187 --> 00:21:09,104 - Oh, okay. - So you gonna be here 650 00:21:09,187 --> 00:21:10,479 - on the 21st? - Yeah. 651 00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:11,855 [Rags] All right, cool. 652 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:12,646 So you should come to this, right? 653 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,396 [Romesh] They just loved him. 654 00:21:14,479 --> 00:21:16,271 Loved him so much, in fact, 655 00:21:16,354 --> 00:21:17,646 that they didn't even bat an eyelid 656 00:21:17,730 --> 00:21:19,855 when he creepily asked for their phone numbers. 657 00:21:19,938 --> 00:21:20,771 And if you can put your details, 658 00:21:20,855 --> 00:21:22,813 - and then we'll call you. - Mm-hmm. 659 00:21:22,896 --> 00:21:24,396 [Romesh] 90% of his conversations 660 00:21:24,479 --> 00:21:26,146 went like this-- "Are you gonna be in LA 661 00:21:26,229 --> 00:21:27,438 for the 21st of December?" 662 00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:28,855 "No." "Why don't you 663 00:21:28,938 --> 00:21:31,021 give me your number, and I'll call you 664 00:21:31,104 --> 00:21:33,980 in case you're in LA on the 21st of December?" 665 00:21:34,062 --> 00:21:35,021 What kind of system is that? 666 00:21:35,104 --> 00:21:37,146 It's better than not doing anything, isn't it? 667 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,688 End of the day, have a go. 668 00:21:39,771 --> 00:21:40,730 If one thing doesn't work, try another. 669 00:21:40,813 --> 00:21:42,354 [Romesh] Let me just point out, he was good 670 00:21:42,438 --> 00:21:44,688 at getting people to talk to him, 671 00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,521 but nobody said they were gonna come to the show. 672 00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:48,354 So he and I 673 00:21:48,438 --> 00:21:51,438 took very different paths for the same result. 674 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:53,938 Look, should we split up for a bit 675 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,021 - and see how we get on? - Yeah, okay. 676 00:21:55,104 --> 00:21:56,771 You head down that way. I'll come find you in a bit. 677 00:21:56,855 --> 00:21:58,855 Yeah. 678 00:21:58,938 --> 00:21:59,855 [Romesh] Now, what was supposed to happen 679 00:21:59,938 --> 00:22:02,021 is that both of us went our separate ways 680 00:22:02,104 --> 00:22:03,646 and sort of flyered the shit out of it, 681 00:22:03,730 --> 00:22:04,604 but I think 682 00:22:04,688 --> 00:22:06,021 what we both accepted 683 00:22:06,104 --> 00:22:07,021 but we left unspoken 684 00:22:07,104 --> 00:22:09,187 was that we both had given up by that stage. 685 00:22:09,271 --> 00:22:13,104 ♪ energetic music ♪ 686 00:22:13,187 --> 00:22:14,521 And, in fact, what we'd actually done 687 00:22:14,604 --> 00:22:15,813 was gone our separate ways 688 00:22:15,896 --> 00:22:16,312 to just have quite a nice day 689 00:22:16,396 --> 00:22:18,688 at Venice Beach. 690 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:20,813 ♪ Don't move, you gotta first want moves ♪ 691 00:22:20,896 --> 00:22:21,646 ♪ The dogs ain't quiet at the noose ♪ 692 00:22:24,604 --> 00:22:26,730 ♪ Bells on my shoes, smooth like I never do lose ♪ 693 00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:27,271 ♪ Never do it crude, yeah, I'm getting to a groove ♪ 694 00:22:27,354 --> 00:22:29,479 ♪ 'Cause I am ♪ 695 00:22:31,646 --> 00:22:32,980 [Romesh] What I would sum up today is, 696 00:22:33,062 --> 00:22:35,146 professionally, 697 00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:36,646 an abject failure, 698 00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:37,479 but, personally, 699 00:22:37,563 --> 00:22:40,187 I had quite a nice day with Rags. 700 00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:42,396 [insects chirping] 701 00:22:42,479 --> 00:22:44,521 [Rags] So Venice Beach. 702 00:22:44,604 --> 00:22:45,980 What did you think of what we did there? 703 00:22:46,062 --> 00:22:47,396 - After we split up today... - Mm. 704 00:22:47,479 --> 00:22:50,730 ...I threw the flyers in the bin. 705 00:22:50,813 --> 00:22:52,354 Really? 706 00:22:56,479 --> 00:22:59,479 That wasn't what we were supposed to do, man. 707 00:22:59,563 --> 00:23:01,688 [laughter] 708 00:23:07,229 --> 00:23:09,438 Man, an honest question, Rom, right? 709 00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:12,146 - [Rags] Seriously. - Yeah, go on. 710 00:23:12,229 --> 00:23:13,312 - You trust me? - Yes, I trust you. 711 00:23:13,396 --> 00:23:14,271 Yeah? 712 00:23:14,354 --> 00:23:17,229 So let me help you, 713 00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:18,354 you know, pick it up a notch. 714 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:20,021 You know? Go to the next level. 715 00:23:20,062 --> 00:23:21,980 How do you think we can step it up a level? 716 00:23:22,062 --> 00:23:24,938 You have to somehow get on TV. 717 00:23:25,021 --> 00:23:26,438 You know, all the media. 718 00:23:26,521 --> 00:23:29,438 It's gonna give you amazing exposure, all right? 719 00:23:29,521 --> 00:23:31,771 Do you mean, like, getting your dick out? 720 00:23:31,855 --> 00:23:32,646 Um... 721 00:23:32,730 --> 00:23:36,021 ♪ "Billa" by Dead Players playing ♪ 722 00:23:36,104 --> 00:23:37,229 ♪ Let me show 'em where the future is ♪ 723 00:23:37,312 --> 00:23:39,646 ♪ You underachieve ♪ 724 00:23:39,730 --> 00:23:41,354 [man] So what's happening today? 725 00:23:41,438 --> 00:23:43,479 [Romesh] Well, Rags got frustrated, 726 00:23:43,563 --> 00:23:45,146 and he's come up with this plan now. 727 00:23:45,229 --> 00:23:47,104 He's had a banner made... 728 00:23:47,187 --> 00:23:48,855 ♪ Pump powders into snotty humans ♪ 729 00:23:48,938 --> 00:23:49,980 [Romesh] ...with the show information on, 730 00:23:50,062 --> 00:23:54,021 and he wants us to get into the back of Extra 731 00:23:54,104 --> 00:23:55,855 and just sort of unfurl the banner 732 00:23:55,938 --> 00:23:57,688 as a way of getting instant promotion. 733 00:23:57,771 --> 00:24:00,396 ♪♪♪ 734 00:24:00,479 --> 00:24:01,438 [man] What do you think of that idea? 735 00:24:01,521 --> 00:24:03,521 I think it's a terrible idea. 736 00:24:03,604 --> 00:24:06,354 [Rags] Let's come to terms with this, right? 737 00:24:06,438 --> 00:24:07,855 You're not known here, Rom. 738 00:24:07,938 --> 00:24:10,855 Nobody fucking knows you, man, unfortunately, right? 739 00:24:10,938 --> 00:24:14,855 UK, you're a big star, but here you're nobody, man. 740 00:24:14,938 --> 00:24:17,521 Okay, you don't have to keep reiterating that message. 741 00:24:17,604 --> 00:24:18,855 - I get it. - I'm just letting you know. 742 00:24:18,938 --> 00:24:20,730 Like, you know, just get off your high horse 743 00:24:20,813 --> 00:24:23,187 and try to understand that we want to get 744 00:24:23,271 --> 00:24:25,229 as much exposure as possible. 745 00:24:25,312 --> 00:24:26,938 What? What are you... 746 00:24:27,021 --> 00:24:28,438 - worrying about? - I just think it's fucking-- 747 00:24:28,521 --> 00:24:29,855 It's like a stunt. Do you know what I mean? 748 00:24:29,938 --> 00:24:31,771 It is a stunt. 749 00:24:31,855 --> 00:24:33,187 [Romesh] I don't think two brown guys with beards 750 00:24:33,271 --> 00:24:34,229 - pulling a surprise... - Yeah. 751 00:24:34,312 --> 00:24:36,104 Do you think that's a good move in America? 752 00:24:36,187 --> 00:24:37,438 What, do you think they're gonna think 753 00:24:37,521 --> 00:24:39,938 you're a terrorist or something? 754 00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:41,062 What do you think? 755 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,062 You don't look like a terrorist. 756 00:24:42,146 --> 00:24:44,563 Not to you, I don't, because I'm your nephew. 757 00:24:44,646 --> 00:24:47,062 But we're two brown guys with full beards. 758 00:24:47,146 --> 00:24:48,563 I've got a rucksack on. 759 00:24:48,646 --> 00:24:50,062 - I'd only-- - And we're going to do 760 00:24:50,146 --> 00:24:51,521 a surprise thing on TV? 761 00:24:53,771 --> 00:24:55,229 It's just stupid. 762 00:24:55,312 --> 00:24:57,021 [man] If it's any motivation, 763 00:24:57,062 --> 00:25:01,104 I spoke to the Greek, and he's still only sold 27 tickets. 764 00:25:01,187 --> 00:25:03,896 Right, quick, quick, quick. Come on. 765 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:04,938 Right, move in, move in, move in. 766 00:25:05,021 --> 00:25:07,521 [Romesh] The best thing that could happen 767 00:25:07,604 --> 00:25:09,396 is Mario Lopez turns around and goes "Oh, my gosh. 768 00:25:09,479 --> 00:25:11,479 Look at this banner. This is incredible." 769 00:25:11,563 --> 00:25:13,479 [man] Worst-case scenario? 770 00:25:13,563 --> 00:25:16,479 We're arrested and deported. 771 00:25:16,563 --> 00:25:19,646 And three, two, one. Applause! 772 00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:22,312 [Romesh] Put it up. Put it up! 773 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:23,354 [Mario] Hey, everyone. Welcome to Extra. 774 00:25:23,438 --> 00:25:24,104 I'm Mario Lopez... 775 00:25:24,187 --> 00:25:26,730 [Rags grumbling] 776 00:25:26,813 --> 00:25:28,479 ...speaking out for the very first time 777 00:25:28,563 --> 00:25:30,062 [Romesh] Hold it, hold it, hold it. You got it? 778 00:25:30,146 --> 00:25:32,563 ...and how Oprah helped her survive... 779 00:25:32,646 --> 00:25:35,521 [Rags] And down on the ground. 780 00:25:35,604 --> 00:25:37,563 [man] Guys, you got to put the sign down, guys. 781 00:25:37,646 --> 00:25:38,730 [Mario] Who are those dudes? 782 00:25:38,813 --> 00:25:40,438 Hey, who are these guys? 783 00:25:40,521 --> 00:25:43,021 [Romesh] Why Rags 784 00:25:43,104 --> 00:25:44,980 got a banner that size is beyond me. 785 00:25:45,062 --> 00:25:47,104 - Rags? - Yeah, on the ground. 786 00:25:47,187 --> 00:25:49,604 - Pull it up, man. - Why is it this big? 787 00:25:49,688 --> 00:25:51,604 First of all, it's impossible to get up. 788 00:25:51,688 --> 00:25:53,646 Second of all, the information 789 00:25:53,730 --> 00:25:55,271 about the actual show is on the back of the banner. 790 00:25:55,354 --> 00:25:56,688 Insane. 791 00:25:56,771 --> 00:25:59,396 [man] Guys, you got to put the sign down, guys. 792 00:25:59,479 --> 00:26:00,438 Look, look, I'll just show you quickly, then we'll go. 793 00:26:00,521 --> 00:26:02,771 "World's greatest..." 794 00:26:02,855 --> 00:26:05,229 "World's greatest inspirational comic." 795 00:26:05,312 --> 00:26:06,604 Oh, okay. 796 00:26:06,688 --> 00:26:08,813 [Romesh] Mario Lopez looks around, 797 00:26:08,896 --> 00:26:10,521 and even he said, 798 00:26:10,604 --> 00:26:11,813 "Why are you taking so long to get the banner up?" 799 00:26:11,896 --> 00:26:13,730 Y'all got to be quicker with that 800 00:26:13,813 --> 00:26:15,730 if you want to make an impact-- that's not--Oh, God. 801 00:26:15,813 --> 00:26:17,146 [Mario] Whatever it is, I don't want to see it now. 802 00:26:17,229 --> 00:26:19,021 That is something I did not anticipate-- 803 00:26:19,104 --> 00:26:20,604 him going, "If you're going to do that, mate, 804 00:26:20,688 --> 00:26:22,438 don't be so shit at it." 805 00:26:22,521 --> 00:26:24,688 - [man] You got to go. - [man] We're shooting a show! 806 00:26:24,771 --> 00:26:25,479 [Rags] I mean, it's not hurting anyone, is it? 807 00:26:25,563 --> 00:26:28,062 They're all struggling. 808 00:26:28,146 --> 00:26:29,604 [man] Whatever you're doing, you can't have it here. 809 00:26:29,688 --> 00:26:31,146 [woman] Sir, you got to put it down. 810 00:26:31,229 --> 00:26:32,646 [woman] Put the sign down. They're shooting a show. 811 00:26:32,730 --> 00:26:34,896 [woman] Oh, yeah, the microphone. 812 00:26:34,980 --> 00:26:36,479 - You got to go. - Oh? 813 00:26:36,563 --> 00:26:37,980 We can't have it in the shot. We're shooting a show. 814 00:26:38,062 --> 00:26:40,730 - [Romesh] Come on. - [Rags] Why are you so fucking 815 00:26:40,813 --> 00:26:41,271 - pissed off at this? - [Romesh] That was a disaster. 816 00:26:41,354 --> 00:26:43,896 Man, it wasn't. 817 00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:44,896 What's it even say? 818 00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:45,938 Put it-- "The next big star 819 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,980 - in Hollywood." - [Rags] Let's pull it out. 820 00:26:48,062 --> 00:26:49,062 Let some more people see it here. 821 00:26:49,146 --> 00:26:51,563 [Romesh] I mean, the content of the banner-- 822 00:26:51,646 --> 00:26:53,980 he just took things that Poletus said 823 00:26:54,062 --> 00:26:56,813 and used those in the banner. 824 00:26:56,896 --> 00:26:58,146 Why? 825 00:26:58,229 --> 00:26:59,521 See, it looks bloody nice, right? 826 00:26:59,604 --> 00:27:00,980 #FuckTravel? 827 00:27:01,062 --> 00:27:03,104 - What? - #FuckTravel? Why? 828 00:27:03,187 --> 00:27:04,730 Well, that's the hashtag you're gonna use, buddy. 829 00:27:04,813 --> 00:27:07,896 How are they gonna show that on Extra? 830 00:27:07,980 --> 00:27:09,813 Why wouldn't they? 831 00:27:09,896 --> 00:27:10,521 [Romesh] I started this week thinking it's great 832 00:27:10,604 --> 00:27:13,354 to have my uncle around. 833 00:27:13,438 --> 00:27:14,855 He thinks outside the box 834 00:27:14,938 --> 00:27:15,604 Do you know what I mean? He's got a lot of energy. 835 00:27:15,688 --> 00:27:17,980 He's got a lot of enthusiasm. 836 00:27:18,062 --> 00:27:19,646 I think we've got an opportunity here 837 00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:20,855 - to bloody open it up again-- - No, no, no. 838 00:27:20,938 --> 00:27:21,938 No, I'm not opening it up again. 839 00:27:22,021 --> 00:27:23,646 Let's just go, please. 840 00:27:23,730 --> 00:27:24,771 [Romesh] And now I'm sort of concerned 841 00:27:24,855 --> 00:27:25,855 about having him here, 842 00:27:25,938 --> 00:27:27,354 because he has insane ideas, 843 00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:28,855 his enthusiasm is irritating, 844 00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:31,354 and he just doesn't know when to give up. 845 00:27:31,438 --> 00:27:32,688 [Romesh] The slight cloud to the silver lining of this 846 00:27:32,771 --> 00:27:35,438 is I sent Leesa the details of the house, 847 00:27:35,521 --> 00:27:37,187 and it turns out she hates it, 848 00:27:37,271 --> 00:27:40,563 and I'm staring down the barrel of Leesa and the kids arriving 849 00:27:40,646 --> 00:27:43,146 to stay with me and Rags in one motel room. 850 00:27:43,229 --> 00:27:45,604 So... 851 00:27:45,688 --> 00:27:47,396 I'm probably gonna get a divorce. 852 00:27:47,479 --> 00:27:50,062 ♪ Terminator funk ♪ 853 00:27:50,146 --> 00:27:52,563 ♪ Terminator funk ♪ 854 00:27:52,646 --> 00:27:55,062 ♪ Terminator funk ♪ 855 00:27:55,146 --> 00:27:57,396 ♪ Terminator funk ♪ 856 00:27:57,479 --> 00:27:59,271 ♪ Yo, as the planet spins round and around ♪ 857 00:27:59,354 --> 00:28:00,771 ♪ Turn the shit up ♪ 858 00:28:00,855 --> 00:28:02,813 ♪ Let it bump loud in the crowd ♪ 859 00:28:02,938 --> 00:28:05,104 ♪ The unknown specimen with African cells ♪ 860 00:28:05,146 --> 00:28:07,479 ♪ Got everybody counting sheep straight slapping themselves ♪ 861 00:28:07,521 --> 00:28:09,646 ♪ The sound boy burial's already begun ♪ 862 00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:11,104 ♪ The game needs a funk rebirth, let it be done, son ♪ 863 00:28:11,187 --> 00:28:15,062 ♪ One nation under a gun, under the thumb ♪ 864 00:28:15,104 --> 00:28:17,980 ♪ Some of us know the time while the others get dumb ♪ 865 00:28:18,062 --> 00:28:20,980 [bright tone]