Previously on Doom Patrol...
Caulder!
Excuse me, sir.
Name's Kipling.
He is an established Chaos Magician,
which explains some of the weird stuff we've seen so far.
What's the Cult of the Unwritten Book?
Goddamn nightmare.
The Book is being written as we speak.
Once it's completed, the Eye will be summoned.
The Decreator. And the world will be unmade.
What is that?
It's a door.
Close the portal. Close the portal.
We saved the kid. What else is there?
All we have to do is close the bloody Gates to Nurnheim.
What the hell is Nurnheim?
Nurnheim sucks.
Maybe the people in this house can't save you.
But can you at least let us try?
What the hell are you supposed to be?
We are the Archons. The high priests of Nurnheim.
You're a fucking psychopath.
You're nothing more than an organ in a container.
You?
Young Kay?
Scared and wounded child.
No, please.
Elliot!
We're too late.
Fuck you, bastard!
What the fuck?
Shit!
- Careful, princess. - Dykey spic.
Get your fucking narc hands off of me, you fucking fascists!
Good to see you too, Jane.
Where'd they find her this time?
Up your mother's gaping asshole!
Say that again.
Your mother sucks cocks in hell.
You're gonna rot in here, Jane,
no matter how many times you try to get away.
Remember that.
This is where scum like you belong.
You mean scum like us?
Takes one to know one, right?
Shut up, Jane! Shut up!
See it there, the Eye of God.
Weeping angrily over the land of Sodom and Gomorrah.
He will reap this land, he will pull the weeds and start again.
This broken earth will become the new holy promised land.
Finally, we will be free of the two-legged blights,
just as Cain was free of Abel.
What he created for us will be ours again.
I'm out here in Cloverton, where many have gathered
to witness a disturbing abnormality.
As you can see, the eye...
Is it looking at me?
Look at them quiver in fear.
The rapture begins!
And I, the thorn growing in the wilderness, will flourish in their absence!
What are you talking about?
Cheese? Of course there will be cheese in the promised land.
What?
You don't need people for cheese, we can make cheese!
How hard can it be?
Isn't it just milk and fungus?
I mean, the ancient Egyptians figured it out.
You take that back!
It is going to happen this time.
I know it will.
No one can stop the will of God.
How do we stop this?
I told you, there's no way.
Aucun. Nada. Nemo!
Once the Decreator's been summoned, that's it, it's over!
We could've stopped them.
You tried to kill me!
I tried to save the bloody planet.
Why can't you get that through your stupid programming!
Rita. Where are you going?
I need to find Elliot.
That thing in the sky...
I promised to protect him, Larry. I looked out for him.
I wasn't a lousy bitch for once.
Turns out a snake can change her stripes.
Tigers.
What? It doesn't matter.
I have to know if he's okay.
Well, for God sakes, don't get yourself raptured or anything.
You know, all of this could've been avoided
if you Halloween costumes come to life had just done as I said.
He's a boy.
He's one boy.
Versus seven-and-a-half billion people.
All right. Now, how long do we have until the world's...
You know, gone?
- Nineteen minutes. - Really?
I don't fucking know!
Why don't you ask the fucking Eye that's blinking everything out of existence?
Fuck!
Kay. That is your name, isn't it?
Aren't you a very small and pretty thing?
There's no need to be scared, little thing.
We are lucky.
You... You're so lucky.
You and your squishy friend.
We are in the chosen place,
a special vantage point to watch from as the world disappears.
Bit by bit.
Person by person, home by home.
Nurnheim...
Will be the last vestige looked upon by the Eye.
It's a very good day.
Excuse me, ma'am.
I don't want to be Kay anymore.
Very few of us want to be what we are.
I think I had a little thing like you once.
But I don't remember.
That must be a gift from the Eye.
What peace nothingness brings.
No, no, no. I wasn't just a...
I'm not a fucking brain...
But, but you're not a brain anymore.
She changed you back.
So that's something.
Screw this. Screw it. Screw this!
Goddamn place and this fucking snow and fuck!
Fuck!
What the fuck?
They've really gone and done it this time, Niles.
Can't your children be trusted with anything?
- The goddamned Decreator. - No.
No, this cannot be the end. I refuse.
I haven't even been in the last two episodes.
We can stop it!
It'll be difficult,
but wholly possible.
What do you know about this thing?
What?
Just marveling at the moment Mr. Nobody came to realize
his omniscience has limits.
Be careful, Niles.
It's just a little hop, skip and a jump to the next test of your resolve.
And then the world de-creates, and you have nothing.
We both have nothing.
So we should work quickly.
The Decreator is a product of faith.
Born from years upon years of blind, unwavering belief.
Faith like that can only be fought with faith alike.
So we build a religion.
We're going to need a leader, someone charismatic enough to enforce faith,
and nurture the true believers. This will take time.
- History... - Yes.
Are you telling me I'm going to have to comb through a bunch of flashbacks?
I know exactly who we need, and exactly where to look.
Jane.
First we need to find a very specific version of her.
And then we need to find someone working in the past,
and someone else working in the present.
It's the only way.
There isn't much time.
Alas, poor Caulder. Burdened with a father's fear.
He begs for the ear of his far superior nemesis.
Will Mr. Nobody and the Chief truly rally together
for the salvation of the human race?
Sure.
Onward we go, into flashback number one,
spiraling down the toilet of culture into an uprising called "punk."
There she is, our would-be messiah.
But no.
This isn't the Jane we need, not exactly.
1976. Ooh, what's this?
Could this be the moment Jane's 64 personalities were given their superpowers?
The very moment?
Boring.
Winter of 1978.
This is the moment Jane first met the pseudo family she never wanted.
The first time she was given a real home to live in
that didn't have the pungent smell of 409 and piss hanging in the air.
Hello, I'm Rita Farr.
Something smells like dusty queefs.
Oh, Jane.
Dire, incorrigible Jane.
This is all very entertaining, but sadly not quite what we're looking for.
A-ha! Here we are, 1977.
Perfect. Just the right Jane, not too soggy, not too stiff.
Things might look a little grim right now, but trust me,
you're about to bear witness to the birth of a star.
I will behave. It is my place to behave. My privilege to...
Jane!
I said to repeat.
The therapy will not work unless you repeat.
I didn't fucking do it.
Of course not.
You didn't burn your quarters.
And you definitely did not put your fist through the day room television.
Am I right?
So you're not fucking deaf, huh?
Oh, you think you're a very clever girl, don't you, Jane?
Well, we do not abide smart-mouths or attitude.
Not in my facility.
I'm trying to help you.
I want my patients to get better. I want you to get better.
But...
If we can't do this here, together...
I'll have no choice but to send you away
and have that very bad piece of you cut out.
We don't want that, do we?
Fuck you.
Let's try a different avenue.
You're not listening to me, I'm telling you the truth.
Tell me about Kay Challis.
Oh, my.
Have I found your off switch?
Your papers, your real papers came in today.
Tell me, when did Kay become Jane?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, then...
Perhaps the better question is
how did Kay become Jane?
I bet it was when you were very small.
When the world was very big, and filled with monsters.
Tell me.
Did your monster have a name, Kay?
Did yours?
Was her name "Mother"?
What?
Acute narcissism and misogyny.
You're a textbook example for enduring familial abuse.
Your hair...
Your eyes...
Deflection is a sign of insecurity.
Do you feel insecure, Dr. Bertrand?
- Yes. - Very insecure.
Ever since that day in the locker room
when you realized you were very under-developed for a teenage boy.
You can still hear them laughing at you, can't you?
The way your mother laughed at you when you went crying into her arms.
What did she call you, Dr. Bertrand?
Teeny Weenie Peenie.
So much self-loathing.
How do you live with yourself?
There's that feeling again.
It's there, isn't it?
Growing into an impulse.
Yes.
The one that makes you want to take that pen in your hand,
and jam it into your eye.
Over and over again.
Yes.
Go on, Doctor.
You're finally free of your mother.
Free to act as you like.
That is your hand, your pen...
And you can jam it in your eye as many times as you like.
Yes.
Your methods may be ungainly, Dr. Bertrand.
But your diagnosis does have its truths.
Once upon a time, my world was big and filled with monsters.
But now the world is small...
And I am the monster.
Well, actually, I'm the monster.
But we'll work on that.
Brava, Dr. Harrison, brava!
Aren't you a marvelous specimen?
So much grit, so much drama.
Suddenly, her restraints came undone.
Who the hell are you?
Me? I'm the burning bush in the desert,
the filicidal presence on the mountain peak,
the voice in Noah's head that made him fill a boat with animals, two-by-two.
Come, Dr. Harrison. We have a world to save.
I don't think that's going to work.
This is not my fucking life.
I didn't turn into a robot, who turned into a brain,
who gets trapped in a snow globe
with the most useless fucking person in the world!
This is not my fucking life!
Shut up!
You think...
This isn't what I wanted for my life either.
You think I want to be stuck in here with a brute?
I'm sorry.
You think just because I'm one of the other personalities,
I don't have feelings?
Jane isn't the only one with hopes, and dreams, and emotions.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
I just...
If this is really about to go to hell, then...
I just want to spend my last moments with her.
Well, tough shit, asswipe!
We're not a fucking menu, and you don't get to make fucking orders!
Elliot.
Elliot,
my God, look at you.
It's different than I imagined.
I sort of pictured it to be all black.
A black hole made out of dark fire.
More like Hades
in that book my mom got me for my...
For my birthday.
They say when you get to hell, Persephone greets you.
She forgives you,
she walks with you.
Do you think that's true?
I know that look.
It's not your fault, Elliot.
Of course it is.
Everyone's gonna die because of me.
No.
You should've let me die.
I don't know what I should've done.
I've never had to save the goddamn world before.
But I knew I wasn't going to let someone else die for all of this.
Maybe you haven't seen the world, Elliot, but I have,
and trust me, it's garbage.
People lie, and they hurt each other.
And they wear these things on their feet called Crocs.
I went with my gut,
and my gut says you deserve a break.
We both do.
So it's the end of the world.
But we have time.
We should do something.
Something special.
- Like what? - Anything.
What have you always wanted to do?
A place you've always wanted to see.
Food you've always wanted to taste...
- Anything. - Um...
Whatever it is, we'll do it.
Oh, my God.
Oh...
Mmm.
So now you can walk?
Mmm!
You're not the Chief. You can't be.
- I'm enough of him. - What the hell does that mean?
How did you get here and what happened to Mr. Nobody?
Don't ask him about Mr. Nobody!
Or mention his name.
Trust me. My favorite pumps were ruined.
- Jesus, Niles. You're a mess. - A mess?
This is dangerous.
What if he's a bomb sent here by Mr. Nobody?
Chief, you have to let us help you. Tell us where...
Please.
The only booby-trap he laid was the one in my esophagus.
I promise you.
I know this is hard to take in.
And I can't imagine what you've been going through for this last...
48 hours, but...
We have a plan.
In motion.
It's a bit wonky, but it will work.
And it's the best we could come up with under the circumstances.
What do you mean "we"?
You're working together?
- Wait. You and Mr.... - No!
I had no choice.
No need to explain.
I'm done playing gooseberry.
And unlike this collection of limp dicks you've assembled,
I am perfectly aware the apocalypse makes for some very odd bedfellows.
Survival and all that.
Now, tell us what needs to be done.
All you have to do is stick to the script.
There will be a boy born
with the words of an ancient language
sprouting on him through time.
Once he's 18, the scripture on his skin will be complete,
and the cult that you foster, my dear Dr. Harrison,
will converge at his dwelling place
and chant the verses together in order to conjure our grotesque messiah.
The Re-Creator.
"The Re-Creator"?
Let me get this straight.
You want to fight something called the "Decreator"
with something called the "Re-Creator"?
So I'm no L. Ron Hubbard.
Who has the time?
That is some weak sauce, mister.
Then take this as an opportunity
to test your powers of influence, Dr. Harrison.
Are you up for the challenge?
Fuck!
- Who was that in the cathedral? - Stop.
Never seen her before.
Kay, right? Is that her name?
Shut your fucking hole!
Jesus!
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to thank her.
She cared enough to pick me up when I was just a...
A brain on the floor.
Well, you're never gonna talk to her, or about her, ever again.
God, can't we just ride out the apocalypse without all this shit?
I thought we had a good thing going.
Two freaks on a yellow brick road, or something like that.
I thought you knew me.
No. You thought you knew me.
Odd way to meet an old friend, again.
Standing on two legs, working with the enemy.
Surrounded by his menagerie.
Aren't we creatures of "odd"?
As I recall, the last time I saw you,
you left me for dead in a cavern in Istanbul.
You wouldn't stop whining at me.
Besides, I was in urgent need of a drink.
Good to see you haven't changed.
So, are you sure about him? He-who-cannot-be-named.
It's the only shot we've got.
If all goes to plan, Baphomet will point us towards the Re-written Book.
We find him, and we summon the Re-Creator.
Re-written Book?
So another boy's going to have to suffer?
Don't be so sentimental, sweetheart.
It'll give you crow's feet.
Oh, what is it now, Willou...
Niles! Well, what a delightful surprise.
Baphomet. How lovely to see you again.
There's that silky voice I miss.
Like hot jam and honey.
You really do turn my trot into a gallop, Mr. Caulder.
Oh, you're too kind.
Aww!
Are you two gonna get a stable or can we get on with this Re-Creator business?
Uh, Re-Creator?
We're looking for the Re-written Book.
Do you sense it?
Re-written? Hmm, I don't see it.
There is no such thing.
And there your plan goes tits up.
Give it time.
Baphomet...
Oui, Mr. Caulder?
Would you mind trying again, please?
Yes, you dumb horse-head, look again.
Because it's all happening, baby.
Okay, Jane, I'm coming in.
You better fucking handle yourself!
Because if you don't,
I'm gonna fucking knock your goddamn lights out.
You're so right.
He hears your worries.
He hears your distress.
The Re-Creator?
Dr. Harrison's gift of super-powered charm and influence
made her a regular ol' Bonnie Nettles.
Why are you swallowing these pharmaceuticals?
You know as well as I do that the only true healing you need is the Re-Creator.
The cult will help you find your purpose.
Your true calling.
Isn't that what you always wanted?
You know what you have to do.
You know you have to spread the word of the Re-Creator far and wide.
Yes!
You are worthy of this lifelong dream of yours.
- You can change the world! - Yes!
- You can save the world. - Yes!
Yes!
Re-Creator! Re-Creator! Re-Creator!
Hey, this is a pretty good cult.
Oh, yeah. Way better than the last three I've been in.
Re-Creator! Re-Creator!
Let me help you.
What does your father think of all this?
He knows what he needs to know.
You shouldn't have come here, Vic.
I came here because of you.
The only reason I got hurt is 'cause of your friend.
If I knew you had a habit of working with the dark side,
I would have been more careful around him.
You're being absurd.
Because I have a moral compass?
Willoughby and I are working together
to try and save this world...
- Save the world, right, I got you. - From destruction.
So suddenly it's okay to play both sides of the line?
Work with the evil?
You are so far up your own ass.
No! What?
I know the difference.
There's good and there's evil.
I know which side I want to be on.
Man, not so long ago, a smart man once told me,
"You need to hold onto who Vic Stone is."
That's who I am. That's where I stand.
Then I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations.
I don't know why I care.
You're not even you right now.
Hey, have you ever heard of Nurnheim?
Of course. Why?
Willoughby sent Jane and Cliff to Barcelona to find the Gates to Nurnheim.
What? Why would he do such a foolish thing?
'Cause they bloody well insisted, that's why.
- You're a bloody fool, Kipling. - What is that?
There it is. Stolen from me. Like everything else around here.
That's Nurnheim?
Never mind. Baphomet found it, Niles.
So whatever scheme you and that abomination cooked up is working.
The Re-written Book exists, and it's not far from here.
Let's go.
Come on.
Why am I always the one doing your grunt work, Niles?
There's brains and there's brawn, Willoughby.
Yeah, yeah.
The spirit...
It let the first Unwritten Book go.
It put the boy in harm's way.
Not that it mattered in the end.
But whatever I do, it always finds a way to hurt me, punish me.
What makes you think it's punishing you?
I saw the tape, of you and the machine.
Why didn't you tell me?
I didn't think you were ready.
Larry, the...
The spirit only feels tortured because you torture yourself.
Hearing it say that, it sounded so...
True.
I feel like everyone I've ever gotten close to has felt that way.
- Tortured. - Larry...
That name. My name.
Sounds so long ago.
So foreign.
Strange.
Sometimes I wonder if Larry Trainor died years ago
and this is some fucked-up afterlife.
Other times, I think I am the fucked-up afterlife.
Dragging everyone into my own personal shit-storm hell.
That's what I see, you know...
Every time the spirit leaves me.
I see everyone I've ever loved.
Burning.
Because of me.
Have you ever tried communicating this to the spirit?
It's a lot more sensitive and powerful than you might think.
Perhaps you should give it a try.
- What are you doing? - Be quiet.
Calm down, please.
- Help! - Hold him still.
Hurry up. He smells like a dolly grip on a hot day.
My God.
Yeah, right.
"Peace and love."
"Ass is life." Flip him over!
This isn't a Re-written Book.
It's a douchebag.
I should probably explain.
You see, it turns out the psychiatric patients
had a flair for the creative. Who would have known?
When the Decreator appears in the sky,
you will know it is time to call upon the Re-Creator.
In order to do so, a boy, known as the Re-written Book,
covered in ancient script, must be read.
Does it have to be a boy?
I also have an issue with the overt use of male-gender pronouns
in this exercise.
Gloria Steinem over here.
Suck a tailpipe, Marilyn.
How about a dog instead of a boy?
I like dogs.
You hear that?
Shh. Shh!
And what's with the words being visible all the time?
Isn't that a dead giveaway to anyone who might be hunting the Book?
Yeah, the words should be invisible.
If I had something that was gonna stop the world from ending,
I'd want to hide it. You know, from bad guys.
That's good logic.
But if no one will be able to read the words, then I don't see...
I know. What if there's a bell?
And then, you ring it.
And then the writing appears.
Marilyn.
You are brilliant.
When the time comes, you will be my chosen one.
You will be the one to come find me,
to remind me of what must be done.
Yes, Dr. Harrison was a perfect creature.
Except of course for one small hitch in her personality.
- What do you want your other followers to do? - Yeah.
She was utterly and marvelously insane.
Dance.
Like there's a giant eye in the sky watching you.
Is this part of the plan?
I think something's supposed to happen.
What the fuck?
Chief!
We gotta go.
Holy cannoli, I'm not in Jersey anymore.
Dr. Harrison, it's me!
Now, I know what you're gonna say...
I haven't changed one bit.
Chock it up to tomato pie and a pack a day.
Who the hell are you?
Marilyn. From Corpus Sanatorium.
Nah, I think you're mistaken, lady.
Honey, I just traveled all the way from Jersey to Barcelona,
cut open a priest, climbed inside him,
and landed in a snow globe.
And now I'm standing here talking to a freaking Robotman.
I don't think I'm mistaken.
Sweetie, I'm here because you wanted me to be.
You gave me purpose when I needed it.
Now the world needs you.
To ring that bell over there.
It's time, sweetie.
Marilyn.
- Good to see you. - Oh, my love.
Oh, shit.
Go. I got this.
You! What have you done!
Well, looky here.
I didn't know the circus was coming to town.
And you got all the clowns with you, huh?
So, uh, come on.
You're gonna show me a show, or what?
What's going on?
I don't know. You're the one with the plan.
It's getting faster.
How dare you intervene with the vision of the Decreator.
You think that you can spit in the face of God.
Lady, the only god I worship is Springsteen.
And I've spat in his face twice.
Viva la Re-Creator!
Holy shit!
What the hell is that?
My God!
You fucking legend.
The Re-Creator!
What's going on?
I think it's a staring contest.
By the skin of our teeth.
As always.
I'd like to help you with this Nobody business, but, uh...
Then I'd have to admit that I like you.
Heaven forbid.
Ah!
May we never meet again.
Likewise, old friend.
The boy, Elliot...
Do you think he's back?
There's a chance, right?
You astound me, Rita.
Go.
Don't you dare return to them.
Go.
It's best she's not here.
Saying goodbye to you all is going to be hard enough.
Uh-uh, no. Ain't no way I'm letting them take you again.
A deal's a deal, Vic.
Chief! What the hell!
Jane.
It was a touching scene.
Chief and Jane together again.
But, alas, our fun little romp must come to an end.
Come on, Niles, make it snappy.
Let's not turn this two-parter into a trilogy.
You want him...
Come and get him.
Time moved slowly.
You told me I could say goodbye!
The kid took out a gun.
Please.
You promised you wouldn't hurt them.
Oh, I promise, Niles, I won't hurt them.
There he was. Daddy's favorite science project,
resolute to do anything he could to save the Chief.
But Cyborg didn't even realize he'd left his arm cannon charging.
Goodbye, Victor Stone.
Oh, shit. Shit!
Vic.
Shit. Shit. Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no!
Holy shit!
- What is that? - Don't! It's an emergency trigger!
It rebuilds, it fixes, fixes damage. With cybernetics.
Good. So, I just push it?
No, no, no. Don't! If you press it, my dad...
- What? - It'll send an SOS.
Well, you can't just sit here like this.
Back up, off me! I'll figure it out.
What do we do? Tell us what you want us to do.
Sorry, bud. This is for your own good.
Cliff, stop!
Fuck what he said. He needs help.
Grid, no. No, stop, stop! Grid, stop!
A butterfly beats its wings in the Amazon.
And a hurricane brews in the Atlantic.
Millions of poor die in the eastern reaches of Asia.
The destruction inspires a future leader, dictator,
mass murderer.
Sheryl...
What have you done, Larry? What have you done?
Chaos theory is beautiful, but so slow.
So, so slow.
I guess it's up to me to step on the gas.
Again!
Where are you taking me? It's past lights-out.
As I mentioned previously, Jane, if you continued to get worse,
drastic action would be taken. And here we are.
At wit's end. So to speak.
An ice-pick death.
Some of the doctors call it that.
I guess that's more poetic than prefrontal leucotomy.
Well, that doesn't surprise me.
It is what you do, isn't it, Dr. Bertrand?
Give up.
I do wish I could hear what it is you're saying.
But, we all know how dangerous that can be, so...
Oh, but, don't worry.
I'm sure we'll have more entertaining conversations when you return.
However, I think they will probably be a little more one-sided.
Enjoy your trip.
You're a coward! You're a coward!
- Come on! - You're a coward!
Get in the van, Jane.
Oh, don't worry. They're only gonna take one little piece out.
You'll be back here in no time.
Eating pudding and pissing yourself in the day room.
Right where you belong.
You're a failure. You're nothing.
You'll always be nothing, just as Daddy always said.
Shit!
Lovely evening, isn't it?
Now, who do I have the honor of meeting tonight?
You must be very proud of yourself.
A cog in the engine of barbaric psycho-science practices.
Ah, Dr. Harrison, if you look under the bench on your right-hand side,
you'll find a key for your restraints.
And one more thing.
Your wristband.
Look, I'm sorry, you'll have to come up here.
I can't move very well.
Who are you?
Niles.
I'm taking you to a safe place. A place to heal.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
You're never going to wear one of these ever again.
Now, settle down.
We have quite a ride ahead of us.
Dare I say, he seems nice.
Please!
I have one more task for you, Dr. Harrison.
What is it?
Once the whole Decreator fiasco is over with,
I need you to look for something.
A small whispering thought will come to you
once the apocalypse has been neutralized.
A flicker of a name.
What do you need me to look for?
What the fuck is the Doom Patrol?