WEBVTT 1 00:00:20,091 --> 00:00:22,024 [Niles] Previously on Doom Patrol... 2 00:00:22,059 --> 00:00:23,963 [Vic] What's the Bureau of Normalcy? 3 00:00:23,995 --> 00:00:27,565 [Larry] It's a top secret government agency, run by a bunch of demented zealots. 4 00:00:27,597 --> 00:00:30,234 They stomp out anything they deem to be aberrations. 5 00:00:30,268 --> 00:00:33,337 [Cliff] Hey, it's me. Jane. 6 00:00:33,368 --> 00:00:36,606 Her brain activity's off the charts, and yet... nothing. 7 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:37,841 Jane's in there somewhere. 8 00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:40,878 [gasping] 9 00:00:40,911 --> 00:00:42,545 [Cliff] What the hell happened here? 10 00:00:42,579 --> 00:00:43,780 [both] Long story. 11 00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:46,716 [Cliff] If you're feeling homicidal urges, just gives us a little heads up, all right? 12 00:00:46,716 --> 00:00:47,817 I said, shut up. 13 00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:49,420 -I was trying to protect you. -By lying? 14 00:00:49,454 --> 00:00:51,756 [Larry] How did Niles get involved with superheroes? 15 00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:52,823 Niles never said. 16 00:00:52,856 --> 00:00:54,591 You know he has his secrets. 17 00:00:54,625 --> 00:00:55,826 Niles and his secrets. 18 00:00:55,859 --> 00:01:00,859 Sounds like you and I know two different Niles Caulders. 19 00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:16,973 [Niles] From the Journal of Niles Caulder, 4th of December, 1913. 20 00:02:17,008 --> 00:02:22,008 We've set up north on an exploratory mission for the Bureau of Oddities. 21 00:02:22,312 --> 00:02:25,382 Washington doubts our department's value, 22 00:02:25,414 --> 00:02:29,117 but I am eager to prove what we are capable of. 23 00:02:29,151 --> 00:02:31,102 [cocks rifle] 24 00:02:34,758 --> 00:02:36,393 Steady on, Alistair. 25 00:02:36,425 --> 00:02:38,461 We're explorers, not mercenaries. 26 00:02:38,495 --> 00:02:41,031 [Alistair] You tell that to the Turks that were just up this way 27 00:02:41,062 --> 00:02:43,664 about seven months ago. 28 00:02:43,699 --> 00:02:46,870 Only one man returned. 29 00:02:46,902 --> 00:02:48,405 Barely. 30 00:02:48,437 --> 00:02:50,840 You know what he claims he saw? 31 00:02:50,872 --> 00:02:53,074 [Niles] Those men were hunters. 32 00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:55,578 We're not. 33 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,715 If this creature exists, 34 00:02:57,747 --> 00:03:00,318 there's no reason to believe it's gonna be of any danger to us. 35 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:04,152 In fact, it might mean us no harm at all. 36 00:03:04,187 --> 00:03:06,455 [fire crackling] 37 00:03:06,489 --> 00:03:09,925 [chuckles] 38 00:03:09,961 --> 00:03:12,429 [Alistair] Oh, friend. 39 00:03:12,461 --> 00:03:16,133 Anything that can survive this frozen hell 40 00:03:16,164 --> 00:03:20,967 absolutely wants to do you harm. 41 00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:49,298 [groans] 42 00:03:54,604 --> 00:03:56,006 [grunts] 43 00:03:56,038 --> 00:03:57,538 [groaning] 44 00:04:06,217 --> 00:04:08,616 [wolves howling] 45 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:21,766 [wolf growling] 46 00:04:21,798 --> 00:04:25,668 [snarls] 47 00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:27,802 [rifle firing] 48 00:04:34,211 --> 00:04:39,211 You remind that wolf that you're an explorer, 49 00:04:39,249 --> 00:04:42,620 -not a hunter. -You saved my life. 50 00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:45,254 I thought I told you not to wander away from camp without-- 51 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:49,524 -[growls] -[screams] 52 00:04:49,559 --> 00:04:53,831 Alistair! 53 00:04:53,862 --> 00:04:56,112 [Alistair] Run! 54 00:05:11,516 --> 00:05:15,266 -[bones snap] -[groaning] 55 00:05:17,052 --> 00:05:19,451 [wolves howling] 56 00:05:23,694 --> 00:05:25,194 [grunting] 57 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:31,668 [wolf snarling] 58 00:05:31,701 --> 00:05:33,937 [gasps] 59 00:05:33,970 --> 00:05:37,141 [grunting] 60 00:05:37,175 --> 00:05:39,910 -[growling] -[gasps] 61 00:05:39,944 --> 00:05:44,081 [wolves whining] 62 00:05:44,112 --> 00:05:46,083 No. 63 00:05:46,117 --> 00:05:48,785 Wait. Please. 64 00:05:48,819 --> 00:05:50,187 No. 65 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,754 Please. 66 00:05:51,788 --> 00:05:54,487 -Please. -[growls] 67 00:06:15,345 --> 00:06:18,382 [Mrs. Franklin] Ernest, are you down there? 68 00:06:18,415 --> 00:06:20,016 [Ernest] What is it, Mother? 69 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:22,254 We're out of Lean Cuisine. 70 00:06:22,286 --> 00:06:25,389 I no longer require Lean Cuisine for sustenance, Mother. 71 00:06:25,422 --> 00:06:26,790 I maintain my physique 72 00:06:26,824 --> 00:06:29,894 through a high-calorie ketogenic diet and mental focus. 73 00:06:29,927 --> 00:06:33,564 -[Mrs. Franklin] I need you to go to the market. -[sighs] 74 00:06:33,596 --> 00:06:34,898 What? 75 00:06:34,932 --> 00:06:36,333 Why? 76 00:06:36,367 --> 00:06:37,766 Why can't you go? 77 00:06:37,802 --> 00:06:39,836 [Mrs. Franklin] I'm watching This Is Us. 78 00:06:39,869 --> 00:06:41,939 Fuck This Is Us. 79 00:06:41,973 --> 00:06:44,641 [Mrs. Franklin] The keys are by the door. 80 00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:47,978 -And don't forget to pick up more scratchers. -[sighs] 81 00:06:48,011 --> 00:06:49,846 Mama! 82 00:06:49,879 --> 00:06:53,480 I'm very busy right now! 83 00:06:56,052 --> 00:06:58,288 Mom? 84 00:06:58,322 --> 00:07:03,059 Mom! 85 00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:04,595 Mom! 86 00:07:04,629 --> 00:07:09,629 [upbeat music playing over speakers] 87 00:07:36,627 --> 00:07:41,165 Canned peaches are on aisle five, old-timer. 88 00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:42,699 [chuckles] 89 00:07:52,076 --> 00:07:55,975 [bar code scanner beeping] 90 00:07:58,348 --> 00:08:00,184 That's for my mom. 91 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:03,922 That's for me. 92 00:08:03,954 --> 00:08:06,857 We know all about your hemorrhoid cream preferences, 93 00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:09,290 Ernest Franklin. 94 00:08:15,463 --> 00:08:17,000 Who the fuck are you? 95 00:08:17,035 --> 00:08:21,237 Try The United States fucking Government. Bureau of Normalcy. 96 00:08:21,271 --> 00:08:22,540 I'm familiar with your work. 97 00:08:22,574 --> 00:08:24,341 No, you're not. 98 00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:26,011 No, I'm not. 99 00:08:26,043 --> 00:08:28,312 Normally, the Bureau operates in the shadows, 100 00:08:28,345 --> 00:08:29,879 entirely self-regulated. 101 00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:34,913 But desperate times call for... people like you. 102 00:08:35,317 --> 00:08:36,351 People like me? 103 00:08:36,384 --> 00:08:38,620 One of our top agents, Darren Jones, 104 00:08:38,653 --> 00:08:40,192 failed to report in from assignment. 105 00:08:40,192 --> 00:08:42,524 We believe that he had an encounter with the associates 106 00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:44,826 of a gentleman by the name of Niles Caulder. 107 00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:47,932 We believe that a man of your... talents 108 00:08:47,932 --> 00:08:52,436 can locate Niles Caulder and bring him in for questioning. 109 00:08:52,469 --> 00:08:55,903 Do you think you can handle that? 110 00:08:55,937 --> 00:08:57,274 [scoffs] 111 00:08:57,307 --> 00:09:00,210 Prepare yourself, Beard Hunter. 112 00:09:00,243 --> 00:09:03,543 You've been activated. 113 00:09:21,298 --> 00:09:23,000 Mom? 114 00:09:23,032 --> 00:09:24,533 Where are my shuriken? 115 00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:26,570 [Mrs. Franklin] Check the dishwasher. 116 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:31,601 I told you, they're hand-wash only! 117 00:09:34,576 --> 00:09:37,413 Mom! I need your help, please! 118 00:09:37,447 --> 00:09:38,947 [Mrs. Franklin] What happened? 119 00:09:38,981 --> 00:09:41,283 You stuck in your costume again? 120 00:09:41,317 --> 00:09:44,168 It's not a costume! 121 00:09:46,389 --> 00:09:48,625 Fuck! 122 00:09:48,658 --> 00:09:53,658 Niles Caulder, I'm coming for you. 123 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:07,975 [groaning] 124 00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:27,543 [breathing heavily] 125 00:10:34,105 --> 00:10:35,105 [sniffs] 126 00:10:35,105 --> 00:10:37,105 [retching] 127 00:10:37,139 --> 00:10:41,177 [groaning] 128 00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:46,149 [exclaims] 129 00:10:46,182 --> 00:10:47,582 Who's there? 130 00:10:47,618 --> 00:10:52,120 [screaming] 131 00:10:52,153 --> 00:10:53,504 [panting] 132 00:11:02,633 --> 00:11:04,234 [thudding] 133 00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:06,100 I am an Agent of the Oddities. 134 00:11:06,134 --> 00:11:07,671 I am not afraid of death. 135 00:11:07,702 --> 00:11:09,605 I am not afraid of death. 136 00:11:09,639 --> 00:11:11,288 [screaming] 137 00:11:18,048 --> 00:11:20,745 [tires screeching] 138 00:11:36,932 --> 00:11:38,902 Yes. 139 00:11:38,936 --> 00:11:41,205 [Vic] There's absolutely nothing wrong with her. 140 00:11:41,238 --> 00:11:45,173 Her brain activity's off the charts, and yet, nothing. 141 00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:46,408 Jane's in there somewhere. 142 00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:47,909 [Cliff] So how do we pull her out? 143 00:11:47,945 --> 00:11:50,211 [Vic] I don't know. Part of me wishes that we could just... 144 00:11:50,214 --> 00:11:53,216 shrink ourselves Magic School Bus style, 145 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:56,519 and get inside her head. 146 00:11:56,552 --> 00:11:57,822 What? 147 00:11:57,855 --> 00:12:00,423 I'm just marveling at your embrace of the weird 148 00:12:00,456 --> 00:12:03,907 and utterly impossible. 149 00:12:10,734 --> 00:12:15,639 [Cliff] What? 150 00:12:15,673 --> 00:12:18,173 Cliff? 151 00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:21,576 [Rita sighs] Cliff? 152 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,647 -Cliff! -We get it, Rita. 153 00:12:23,678 --> 00:12:24,716 Do you? 154 00:12:24,748 --> 00:12:26,514 Three people are unconscious now, 155 00:12:26,548 --> 00:12:28,451 and you're just, what, all good? 156 00:12:28,485 --> 00:12:31,187 What exactly is the plan here? 157 00:12:31,221 --> 00:12:32,788 I have no idea. 158 00:12:32,822 --> 00:12:35,725 But whatever it is, looks like it's working. 159 00:12:35,726 --> 00:12:36,759 [Rita] Oh, really? 160 00:12:36,759 --> 00:12:38,760 Forgive me for having doubts, 161 00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:43,793 but what do we really know about this... thing? 162 00:12:46,469 --> 00:12:49,620 What exactly are you? 163 00:12:52,743 --> 00:12:57,081 Well, I can see why Larry is so fond of you. 164 00:12:57,115 --> 00:12:59,250 This never would've happened if the Chief were still here. 165 00:12:59,282 --> 00:13:01,283 You're right. He's gone. 166 00:13:01,317 --> 00:13:04,620 But us standing around waiting for these three is not gonna change that. 167 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:08,104 Let's get back to work. 168 00:13:16,331 --> 00:13:18,731 [breath shaking] 169 00:13:32,413 --> 00:13:35,519 Hello. 170 00:13:35,552 --> 00:13:40,255 I'm Dr. Niles Evelyn Caulder. I'm... 171 00:13:40,291 --> 00:13:45,291 I'm a research explorer from the Bureau of Oddities. 172 00:13:45,363 --> 00:13:49,932 Please, I'm separated from my partner. I... 173 00:13:49,966 --> 00:13:54,966 You know I'm wounded. I'm not a threat to you. 174 00:13:58,442 --> 00:14:01,812 Please, those men up there, 175 00:14:01,846 --> 00:14:03,812 I'm not like them. 176 00:14:03,846 --> 00:14:06,447 Those men are hunters. 177 00:14:06,481 --> 00:14:09,033 I'm not a hunter. 178 00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:16,259 I'm a friend. 179 00:14:16,293 --> 00:14:19,863 [breath shaking] 180 00:14:19,897 --> 00:14:21,995 I'm very cold. 181 00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:28,272 Please, could I... 182 00:14:28,303 --> 00:14:32,841 Could I move a bit closer to the fire? 183 00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:36,413 I'm not gonna survive this, whatever your plans are. 184 00:14:36,447 --> 00:14:39,115 [groans] 185 00:14:39,149 --> 00:14:42,719 I just wanna get... [groans] 186 00:14:42,753 --> 00:14:44,452 a little bit warm. 187 00:14:44,485 --> 00:14:48,456 [panicked screaming] 188 00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:49,658 [grunts] 189 00:14:49,692 --> 00:14:51,628 Please, stop. 190 00:14:51,659 --> 00:14:54,464 I'm sorry. 191 00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:55,532 [grunts] 192 00:14:55,565 --> 00:14:58,433 [Niles sobbing] 193 00:14:58,466 --> 00:14:59,668 [grunts] 194 00:15:06,109 --> 00:15:07,158 [sighs] 195 00:15:13,115 --> 00:15:15,418 [Rita] So Danny is a talking street? 196 00:15:15,451 --> 00:15:18,187 -[Vic] Yeah. -[Rita] Where everyone is gay? 197 00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:22,658 No. I don't know. It's a place for all kinds of people. 198 00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:24,692 And it travels? 199 00:15:24,726 --> 00:15:26,427 Not "it," "they." 200 00:15:26,461 --> 00:15:28,365 Danny's gender queer. 201 00:15:28,399 --> 00:15:30,000 And they jump, yeah. 202 00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:31,971 And "they" gave you a comic book? 203 00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:35,339 Look, when you get a comic book from a talking street named Danny, 204 00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:38,740 it isn't just a comic book. It has to have some kind of clue. 205 00:15:38,774 --> 00:15:41,211 Well, give it here. 206 00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:43,447 Look, anything that gets us closer to finding the Chief, 207 00:15:43,447 --> 00:15:46,182 no matter how absurd or obtuse or dangerous, 208 00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:47,817 we have to use it to our advantage. 209 00:15:47,817 --> 00:15:50,187 Talking streets, comic books. 210 00:15:50,221 --> 00:15:52,923 I always thought the weirdest thing in Chief's life was us. 211 00:15:52,956 --> 00:15:55,926 That's odd. The hunk is missing. 212 00:15:55,957 --> 00:15:57,394 [Vic] What? 213 00:15:57,427 --> 00:16:01,565 Cartoon hunk. The hunky muscle man in this advertisement. 214 00:16:01,599 --> 00:16:05,336 Mmm. I must've seen this add 100 times as a girl. 215 00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:08,205 There's supposed to be a man there, 216 00:16:08,238 --> 00:16:13,238 but it's empty. It's like he just walked out of the comic book. 217 00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:30,639 [door creaking] 218 00:16:36,899 --> 00:16:40,269 [whispering] Oh, yeah. 219 00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:41,738 Okay, easy. 220 00:16:41,772 --> 00:16:45,875 Here we go. Easy. 221 00:16:45,908 --> 00:16:46,908 Okay. 222 00:16:51,815 --> 00:16:52,815 Oh! 223 00:16:58,956 --> 00:17:00,690 Be smart now, Ernest. 224 00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:05,075 A little bit goes a long way. 225 00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:09,230 Mmm. 226 00:17:16,507 --> 00:17:18,307 [groans] 227 00:17:18,339 --> 00:17:19,476 [swallows] 228 00:17:19,509 --> 00:17:24,012 [burps] 229 00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,584 [thudding] 230 00:17:25,615 --> 00:17:27,519 [Niles] From the Journal of Niles Caulder. 231 00:17:27,549 --> 00:17:32,423 I've spent weeks at the mercy of this primitive creature. 232 00:17:32,454 --> 00:17:35,057 Finally, my strength has started to return. 233 00:17:35,092 --> 00:17:37,192 This specimen seemingly exists 234 00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:40,096 in complete opposition to the modern world, 235 00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:42,432 entirely removed from mankind. 236 00:17:42,464 --> 00:17:45,934 She would be the crown jewel of the Bureau's collection. 237 00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:47,769 Oh, don't be alarmed. 238 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:52,040 My... My leg is feeling better. 239 00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:53,978 It's feeling good, thank you. 240 00:17:54,009 --> 00:17:56,077 I'll be able to leave soon. 241 00:17:56,114 --> 00:17:59,817 I'll have to go home. 242 00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:02,086 Home... 243 00:18:02,117 --> 00:18:05,653 I'll have to go. 244 00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:07,758 Home! 245 00:18:07,789 --> 00:18:11,240 You could come with me. 246 00:18:14,529 --> 00:18:17,079 [chomping loudly] 247 00:18:19,836 --> 00:18:23,605 Mmm. 248 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,076 [panting] 249 00:18:27,108 --> 00:18:30,048 My people would love to see you. 250 00:18:30,078 --> 00:18:34,578 They'd take great care of you. 251 00:18:37,989 --> 00:18:41,223 I'm never gonna leave here, am I? 252 00:18:41,259 --> 00:18:44,192 You didn't save me. You kidnapped me. 253 00:18:44,229 --> 00:18:47,730 I'm just your pet. 254 00:18:47,762 --> 00:18:50,335 I'm a play thing to you. 255 00:18:50,365 --> 00:18:53,671 That's what you think of me, isn't it? 256 00:18:53,701 --> 00:18:56,605 How dare you! 257 00:18:56,637 --> 00:18:59,143 I'm not a pet monkey! 258 00:18:59,174 --> 00:19:01,111 I'm not an animal! 259 00:19:01,144 --> 00:19:03,011 You're the animal! 260 00:19:03,047 --> 00:19:06,084 We are not animals! 261 00:19:06,115 --> 00:19:08,817 I'm not an animal. 262 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,990 Stay back. 263 00:19:16,027 --> 00:19:19,864 Don't you come near me. 264 00:19:19,894 --> 00:19:22,200 You've kept me here against my will. 265 00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:24,902 You've bound my hands. 266 00:19:24,933 --> 00:19:28,306 I can't! I will not... 267 00:19:28,336 --> 00:19:32,540 These are not animals left to rot. 268 00:19:32,576 --> 00:19:35,913 They are men. 269 00:19:35,944 --> 00:19:38,249 They deserve a proper burial. 270 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,219 It's the right... 271 00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:45,902 It's the Christian thing to do. 272 00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:49,288 [Niles coughing] 273 00:19:56,798 --> 00:19:58,000 [grunts] 274 00:20:29,030 --> 00:20:31,067 My God. 275 00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:33,951 What is this place? 276 00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:43,259 Oh God, this is remarkable. 277 00:20:46,518 --> 00:20:49,354 [Niles] There appears to be even more to this strange creature 278 00:20:49,384 --> 00:20:51,653 than I'd originally assumed. 279 00:20:51,690 --> 00:20:54,356 I'd always suspected that my captor was primitive, 280 00:20:54,392 --> 00:20:57,259 but I never considered what that truly meant. 281 00:20:57,294 --> 00:20:58,827 This ancient culture, 282 00:20:58,864 --> 00:21:01,963 tens of thousands of years old by my estimation, 283 00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:05,000 was once a proud tribe. 284 00:21:05,036 --> 00:21:09,740 But one by one, they faded away. 285 00:21:09,771 --> 00:21:12,323 Except... 286 00:21:15,444 --> 00:21:17,182 Unless my eyes deceived me, 287 00:21:17,213 --> 00:21:21,585 my captor had existed within this tribe for generations. 288 00:21:21,616 --> 00:21:23,988 Every era. 289 00:21:24,019 --> 00:21:26,823 The question was, how? 290 00:21:26,855 --> 00:21:28,526 Eternal life. 291 00:21:28,557 --> 00:21:31,126 Something I never before considered possible. 292 00:21:31,162 --> 00:21:33,431 Something I struggled to comprehend. 293 00:21:33,462 --> 00:21:36,164 My mind raced with questions, 294 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:40,201 but I could not find my voice. 295 00:21:40,238 --> 00:21:42,873 I could only bear witness, 296 00:21:42,904 --> 00:21:46,355 and behold her. 297 00:21:53,884 --> 00:21:55,384 [grunting] 298 00:22:33,191 --> 00:22:35,441 Oyewah. 299 00:22:43,901 --> 00:22:48,438 Oyewah. 300 00:22:48,471 --> 00:22:50,441 [Niles] Finally, I began to understand 301 00:22:50,472 --> 00:22:55,472 the nature of the creature I had found. 302 00:23:06,855 --> 00:23:09,991 Mmm. 303 00:23:10,027 --> 00:23:12,930 [breathes deeply] 304 00:23:12,961 --> 00:23:15,510 [creature growls] 305 00:23:40,355 --> 00:23:41,625 [growls] 306 00:23:41,659 --> 00:23:46,659 [Niles] And then, in a single moment... 307 00:23:46,761 --> 00:23:48,865 Oyewah. 308 00:23:48,896 --> 00:23:52,269 [growls softly] 309 00:23:52,303 --> 00:23:57,303 I realized that I understood absolutely nothing at all. 310 00:23:59,807 --> 00:24:01,159 [howling] 311 00:24:06,951 --> 00:24:11,855 [groaning] 312 00:24:11,886 --> 00:24:14,726 It's really you! 313 00:24:14,726 --> 00:24:15,726 Cyborg! 314 00:24:15,726 --> 00:24:18,693 Yes, yes, the famous Cyborg. Incredible. 315 00:24:18,693 --> 00:24:19,461 And you are? 316 00:24:19,461 --> 00:24:22,365 Looking for one Niles Caulder. 317 00:24:22,365 --> 00:24:23,334 Missing. 318 00:24:23,334 --> 00:24:24,567 How do you know Niles Caulder? 319 00:24:24,567 --> 00:24:26,903 Oh, I know all about Niles Caulder. 320 00:24:26,935 --> 00:24:29,307 I know how the Bureau of Normalcy is looking for him. 321 00:24:29,337 --> 00:24:31,142 I know about his band of freaks, 322 00:24:31,173 --> 00:24:33,375 the race car driver, the basket case, 323 00:24:33,411 --> 00:24:37,445 the test pilot, the Hollywood actress... 324 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,714 [laughs] And so much more. 325 00:24:38,750 --> 00:24:41,182 I'm sorry. Who are you, again? 326 00:24:41,219 --> 00:24:43,721 Well, I'm known by many names. 327 00:24:43,752 --> 00:24:47,625 In Spain, they call me El Cazador de Barba. 328 00:24:47,656 --> 00:24:50,993 My psyche profile, they call me a pogonophile. 329 00:24:51,028 --> 00:24:56,028 But most commonly, those who dare speak my name 330 00:24:56,133 --> 00:24:59,883 call me the Beard Hunter. 331 00:25:01,438 --> 00:25:04,207 [Cyborg scoffs] 332 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,742 [Cyborg] Okay. The Beard Hunter. 333 00:25:06,778 --> 00:25:09,310 So the Bureau of Normalcy hired... 334 00:25:09,346 --> 00:25:11,582 [scoffs] the Beard Hunter. 335 00:25:11,615 --> 00:25:13,018 Okay, what else do we need to know? 336 00:25:13,018 --> 00:25:15,519 If you're the Beard Hunter, why don't you have a beard? 337 00:25:15,550 --> 00:25:16,618 Hormone disorder. 338 00:25:16,653 --> 00:25:18,086 Man, how do you know Niles Caulder? 339 00:25:18,121 --> 00:25:21,222 I consumed Niles' essence. 340 00:25:21,259 --> 00:25:24,492 Fragments of his facial hair. 341 00:25:24,528 --> 00:25:25,528 Still fresh. 342 00:25:25,528 --> 00:25:27,962 -Ugh. -[Cyborg] Wait. Hold up. 343 00:25:27,998 --> 00:25:31,134 "Consumed his essence"? 344 00:25:31,165 --> 00:25:32,367 You didn't... 345 00:25:32,403 --> 00:25:34,636 In the bathroom, 346 00:25:34,672 --> 00:25:37,140 did you eat Niles' drain scum? 347 00:25:37,173 --> 00:25:39,509 -Ugh. -[Cyborg] Why? 348 00:25:39,541 --> 00:25:41,076 What's a soggy piece of hair got to do with the Chief? 349 00:25:41,113 --> 00:25:45,950 [distorted] What's hair got to do with the Chief? 350 00:25:45,980 --> 00:25:47,982 [smacking lips] 351 00:25:48,018 --> 00:25:51,086 [bubble popping] 352 00:25:51,121 --> 00:25:52,520 You better back your ass up. 353 00:25:52,557 --> 00:25:55,490 I'm sure you care very much about finding the Chief. 354 00:25:55,526 --> 00:25:56,526 We all do. 355 00:25:56,526 --> 00:26:02,126 But I'm not sure he can help you with whatever is wrong with you. 356 00:26:02,265 --> 00:26:05,634 Help me? 357 00:26:05,669 --> 00:26:08,038 You really don't know him at all, do you? 358 00:26:08,070 --> 00:26:12,144 You think finding Niles will rescue you from your pathetic lives, 359 00:26:12,174 --> 00:26:16,815 but Niles Caulder is not the man he's led you to believe. 360 00:26:16,846 --> 00:26:20,048 Niles Caulder is not your savior. 361 00:26:20,084 --> 00:26:21,919 He's a false god. 362 00:26:21,951 --> 00:26:25,990 Finding him will change nothing. 363 00:26:26,021 --> 00:26:31,021 You'll still be nothing more than a broken football star 364 00:26:31,058 --> 00:26:32,828 and a washed-up actress. 365 00:26:32,828 --> 00:26:34,463 Then just tell me why we should be listening 366 00:26:34,463 --> 00:26:37,903 to this crazy-ass lunatic we just found passed out in the bathroom? 367 00:26:37,933 --> 00:26:39,769 'Cause I know the truth about Niles Caulder, 368 00:26:39,769 --> 00:26:42,007 and I know how to find him. 369 00:26:42,038 --> 00:26:46,375 His beard calls out to me from across time and space. 370 00:26:46,411 --> 00:26:48,711 I can hear its siren song. 371 00:26:48,746 --> 00:26:50,512 That's my superpower. 372 00:26:50,548 --> 00:26:53,481 My je ne sais quoi. 373 00:26:53,518 --> 00:26:56,586 I can trace a man's beard anywhere it is, 374 00:26:56,618 --> 00:26:58,221 anywhere it has been. 375 00:26:58,255 --> 00:26:59,255 Okay. 376 00:27:08,633 --> 00:27:10,133 [thudding] 377 00:27:15,403 --> 00:27:17,673 [smacking lips] 378 00:27:17,709 --> 00:27:19,959 Okay, I'm done. 379 00:27:22,746 --> 00:27:27,746 Never underestimate the power of the beard. 380 00:27:29,184 --> 00:27:32,691 [Niles] From the journal of Niles Caulder, date unknown. 381 00:27:32,722 --> 00:27:37,722 After the funeral, I choose to remain and study the creature in her natural habitat. 382 00:27:38,230 --> 00:27:41,865 She wields a psychic power with incredible potential. 383 00:27:41,897 --> 00:27:45,403 What other wonders could she possible unlock? 384 00:27:45,433 --> 00:27:47,368 Immortality. 385 00:27:47,403 --> 00:27:49,538 A bridge to the unknown. 386 00:27:49,573 --> 00:27:51,909 She is the ultimate discovery. 387 00:27:51,942 --> 00:27:56,077 She represents all the Bureau of Oddities stands for. 388 00:27:56,113 --> 00:27:59,481 [woman grunting] 389 00:27:59,517 --> 00:28:00,817 -Horkon. -[Niles] Horkon? 390 00:28:00,851 --> 00:28:03,251 -That's a new one. -Horkon laka. 391 00:28:03,287 --> 00:28:04,519 -Horkon? -Horkon. 392 00:28:04,555 --> 00:28:07,457 -[ice breaks] -[Niles screams] 393 00:28:07,490 --> 00:28:12,363 [gasping] 394 00:28:12,394 --> 00:28:14,298 [Niles] After that day, 395 00:28:14,329 --> 00:28:16,531 I fell deathly ill. 396 00:28:16,567 --> 00:28:18,067 [coughing] 397 00:28:21,636 --> 00:28:24,307 [sighs] 398 00:28:24,339 --> 00:28:25,839 [coughing] 399 00:28:40,655 --> 00:28:45,627 [grunting] 400 00:28:45,663 --> 00:28:47,529 [Niles] Stay back. 401 00:28:47,565 --> 00:28:49,567 I'm not well. 402 00:28:49,597 --> 00:28:52,000 [woman grunting] 403 00:29:03,077 --> 00:29:07,048 [woman groaning] 404 00:29:07,084 --> 00:29:10,221 [exclaims] 405 00:29:10,251 --> 00:29:11,751 [groaning] 406 00:29:36,681 --> 00:29:38,780 [Niles] Were if not for each other, 407 00:29:38,816 --> 00:29:43,463 we would have perished. 408 00:29:54,096 --> 00:29:56,346 Oyewah. 409 00:29:59,300 --> 00:30:01,550 Oyewah. 410 00:30:25,493 --> 00:30:27,596 [woman grunts] 411 00:30:31,299 --> 00:30:34,152 You are remarkable. 412 00:30:42,178 --> 00:30:44,278 [both moaning] 413 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,663 [Rita] All right, that gentleman is clearly a nut muffin, 414 00:30:58,693 --> 00:31:01,265 but I think we should try to use him. 415 00:31:01,298 --> 00:31:04,567 If he knows where the Chief is, that can help us. 416 00:31:04,601 --> 00:31:07,769 Maybe we can co-star with him. 417 00:31:07,805 --> 00:31:09,507 You mean "team-up"? 418 00:31:09,538 --> 00:31:11,472 Yes, that. 419 00:31:11,509 --> 00:31:12,608 [sighs] 420 00:31:12,644 --> 00:31:15,278 If it helps us find the Chief, we have to follow it. 421 00:31:15,310 --> 00:31:19,682 That's what you said, right? No matter what. 422 00:31:19,714 --> 00:31:21,067 [exhales] 423 00:31:27,088 --> 00:31:29,192 [groans] 424 00:31:29,223 --> 00:31:30,723 [inhaling] 425 00:31:34,298 --> 00:31:35,097 Ah! 426 00:31:35,097 --> 00:31:38,166 All right, you're right, um... 427 00:31:38,201 --> 00:31:41,636 -Okay, here's the plan. -Mmm. 428 00:31:41,672 --> 00:31:43,539 -We just let him go. -What? 429 00:31:43,575 --> 00:31:46,344 Something tells me this Beard Hunter guy isn't much of a team player. 430 00:31:46,375 --> 00:31:51,326 But we can track him, using this. 431 00:31:53,750 --> 00:31:55,787 Impressive doohickey, Victor. 432 00:31:55,817 --> 00:31:57,788 But how are we supposed to track him? 433 00:31:57,819 --> 00:32:01,960 [thudding] 434 00:32:01,990 --> 00:32:04,595 Hey! He hasn't told you yet, has he? 435 00:32:04,626 --> 00:32:05,894 What's wrong with him? 436 00:32:05,930 --> 00:32:08,464 He's been lying to all of you! Haven't you, Victor? 437 00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:10,299 Okay, Beard Hunter, you're, like, a nine. 438 00:32:10,335 --> 00:32:12,236 I'm gonna need you to take it down to, like, a four. 439 00:32:12,269 --> 00:32:15,069 It's too late, Cyborg. I consumed a sample of your essence. 440 00:32:15,070 --> 00:32:16,441 I'm inside your head now. 441 00:32:16,472 --> 00:32:18,709 Facial hair connects me to the secrets of the universe. 442 00:32:18,740 --> 00:32:20,175 It's the ultimate flavor savor. 443 00:32:20,211 --> 00:32:22,313 All the memories, secrets, sandwiches... 444 00:32:22,346 --> 00:32:24,749 A man's beard witnesses all things. 445 00:32:24,779 --> 00:32:26,548 And only I can decode the language. 446 00:32:26,585 --> 00:32:28,384 You wet the bed until you were six years old. 447 00:32:28,419 --> 00:32:30,586 You killed your mother when you were 18. 448 00:32:30,621 --> 00:32:33,423 When you were little, you called her "Cotton Candy," 449 00:32:33,454 --> 00:32:35,259 and she called you-- 450 00:32:35,289 --> 00:32:38,796 [yelling] 451 00:32:38,827 --> 00:32:40,163 I know it all! 452 00:32:40,163 --> 00:32:42,230 Your facial hair connects me directly to the brain stem. 453 00:32:42,230 --> 00:32:45,934 Sure. 454 00:32:45,970 --> 00:32:50,471 [shouting] 455 00:32:50,508 --> 00:32:52,142 [Ernest] Ha! 456 00:32:52,173 --> 00:32:53,173 Whoo! 457 00:32:59,981 --> 00:33:01,353 Just hit him already! 458 00:33:01,384 --> 00:33:03,488 Tell me, Cyborg. Why would a man like Niles Caulder 459 00:33:03,519 --> 00:33:06,057 choose to live with a gallery of rejects like her? 460 00:33:06,057 --> 00:33:07,588 And why would he want you to join them? 461 00:33:07,588 --> 00:33:09,791 [Cyborg grunts] 462 00:33:09,826 --> 00:33:11,626 Grid, diagnostic check. 463 00:33:11,626 --> 00:33:12,663 What's up with my arm cannon? 464 00:33:12,663 --> 00:33:14,132 [Grid] Unknown threat detected. 465 00:33:14,163 --> 00:33:16,164 Host has been compromised. 466 00:33:16,201 --> 00:33:17,933 -What? -Well, well, well... 467 00:33:17,969 --> 00:33:20,269 Looks like I'm not the only one inside your head. 468 00:33:20,305 --> 00:33:22,505 [Grid] Initiating total system control. 469 00:33:22,538 --> 00:33:23,606 What is he talking about? 470 00:33:23,606 --> 00:33:25,143 [Ernest] That's what you were told, right, Cyborg? 471 00:33:25,143 --> 00:33:27,376 The search for Niles Caulder would destroy you all. 472 00:33:27,412 --> 00:33:29,746 -Shut up! -Victor, what are you doing? 473 00:33:29,778 --> 00:33:30,913 [Cyborg] Grid. 474 00:33:30,948 --> 00:33:32,147 [Grid] Weapons systems have been activated. 475 00:33:32,182 --> 00:33:33,548 Grid, deactivate cannon. 476 00:33:33,584 --> 00:33:35,250 -Here we go. -I repeat-- 477 00:33:35,286 --> 00:33:37,086 [all scream] 478 00:33:43,259 --> 00:33:44,993 [panting] 479 00:33:45,028 --> 00:33:46,962 [Rita] What on Earth is wrong with you? 480 00:33:46,998 --> 00:33:51,998 [Cyborg] There's nothing wrong with me. 481 00:33:52,103 --> 00:33:53,403 [footsteps approaching] 482 00:33:53,434 --> 00:33:55,438 Beard Hunter! 483 00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:56,838 Just admit it. 484 00:33:56,874 --> 00:33:58,942 You'll never find the Chief. 485 00:33:58,976 --> 00:34:00,278 You don't want to. 486 00:34:00,309 --> 00:34:03,181 You're afraid of what you'll find if you keep looking. 487 00:34:03,181 --> 00:34:04,647 You have no idea what you're talking about. 488 00:34:04,647 --> 00:34:07,884 Actually, I've seen who you and Niles Caulder really are. 489 00:34:07,919 --> 00:34:09,885 And the truth is... 490 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,887 [sighs] 491 00:34:11,922 --> 00:34:13,489 You're not gonna like the truth. 492 00:34:13,523 --> 00:34:15,724 [Rita sighs] 493 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:16,760 Oh. 494 00:34:16,793 --> 00:34:18,893 Here he comes. 495 00:34:23,266 --> 00:34:24,601 Grid. 496 00:34:24,635 --> 00:34:25,802 Stand down. 497 00:34:25,835 --> 00:34:26,969 I got this. 498 00:34:27,003 --> 00:34:28,338 [Grid] Host has been compromised. 499 00:34:28,371 --> 00:34:30,675 System control has been deemed necessary. 500 00:34:30,708 --> 00:34:33,610 Listen to the little voice in your head, Cyborg. 501 00:34:33,643 --> 00:34:34,911 You're not in control. 502 00:34:34,945 --> 00:34:36,280 -[Grid] Target acquired. -[Cyborg straining] 503 00:34:36,313 --> 00:34:38,081 -[Grid] Lethal force activated. -[Cyborg] Grid, stop! 504 00:34:38,114 --> 00:34:39,849 -[Grid] T-minus five... -Stop now! 505 00:34:39,882 --> 00:34:42,119 -Careful! -[Grid] ...four, three, two... 506 00:34:42,152 --> 00:34:44,789 -[Cyborg grunts] -Stop! 507 00:34:44,820 --> 00:34:46,523 [panting] 508 00:34:46,556 --> 00:34:47,925 [laughs] 509 00:34:47,958 --> 00:34:49,592 [Rita] You could have killed them! 510 00:34:49,626 --> 00:34:51,393 Victor, shut it down! 511 00:34:51,393 --> 00:34:52,128 I can't. 512 00:34:52,128 --> 00:34:53,463 [stammering] "I can't." 513 00:34:53,496 --> 00:34:54,565 -Victor? -Victor? 514 00:34:54,597 --> 00:34:57,202 [panting] Voice Command. Activate emergency shutdown. 515 00:34:57,233 --> 00:34:58,969 Code word, "Elinore." 516 00:34:59,001 --> 00:35:00,871 [system shutting down] 517 00:35:00,905 --> 00:35:01,905 Get out of here. 518 00:35:01,938 --> 00:35:04,242 -I'm sorry? -[Rita] Go! 519 00:35:04,273 --> 00:35:06,342 Look at me. Look at my face. 520 00:35:06,376 --> 00:35:08,545 I want you to always remember this. 521 00:35:08,577 --> 00:35:09,945 Ernest Franklin, 522 00:35:09,981 --> 00:35:14,150 the man who defeated Cyborg. 523 00:35:14,184 --> 00:35:17,655 I wonder, who will play me in the movie? 524 00:35:17,655 --> 00:35:18,389 [Ernest laughs] 525 00:35:18,389 --> 00:35:22,438 It's okay. Just let him go. 526 00:35:44,947 --> 00:35:46,684 [Niles] Spring has sprung, 527 00:35:46,715 --> 00:35:48,518 and life is returning. 528 00:35:48,552 --> 00:35:53,552 I have chosen to remain here in the north. 529 00:36:03,434 --> 00:36:06,135 This is no longer a journey of scientific discovery 530 00:36:06,168 --> 00:36:09,039 but an exploration of something deeper. 531 00:36:09,072 --> 00:36:12,141 Something within myself. 532 00:36:12,175 --> 00:36:14,010 There is nothing but the hunt, 533 00:36:14,043 --> 00:36:16,612 nothing but the thrill 534 00:36:16,646 --> 00:36:19,449 and peril 535 00:36:19,481 --> 00:36:23,552 of survival. 536 00:36:23,585 --> 00:36:27,186 It's liberating. 537 00:36:49,847 --> 00:36:51,215 Days pass into months. 538 00:36:51,248 --> 00:36:53,117 Months pass into years. 539 00:36:53,150 --> 00:36:55,918 My old life fades. 540 00:36:55,952 --> 00:36:59,588 My new life feels 541 00:36:59,621 --> 00:37:02,994 eternal. 542 00:37:03,027 --> 00:37:07,931 ♪ I'll home to me parents Confess what I've done ♪ 543 00:37:07,965 --> 00:37:12,802 ♪ And ask them to pardon Their prodigal son ♪ 544 00:37:12,838 --> 00:37:17,838 ♪ And when they've caressed me As ofttimes before ♪ 545 00:37:18,010 --> 00:37:23,010 ♪ I never will play The wild rover no more ♪ 546 00:37:25,114 --> 00:37:29,588 ♪ And it's no, nay, never ♪ 547 00:37:29,619 --> 00:37:33,123 ♪ No, nay, never no more ♪ 548 00:37:33,155 --> 00:37:37,360 ♪ Will I play the wild rover ♪ 549 00:37:37,393 --> 00:37:41,594 ♪ No never no more ♪ 550 00:37:49,172 --> 00:37:53,309 Hello, old friend. 551 00:37:53,342 --> 00:37:56,746 I can't believe you're alive after all this time. 552 00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:58,215 [sighs] 553 00:37:58,248 --> 00:38:01,818 Did you know that I went to your funeral? 554 00:38:01,851 --> 00:38:04,987 -Hmm. -[chuckles] 555 00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:07,123 Niles, I'm sorry. 556 00:38:07,157 --> 00:38:08,659 I shouldn't have left you up here. 557 00:38:08,693 --> 00:38:12,862 If anyone should be asking forgiveness, Alistair, it's me. 558 00:38:12,896 --> 00:38:15,965 Those scars. 559 00:38:15,998 --> 00:38:18,568 In fact, I should be thanking you. 560 00:38:18,601 --> 00:38:23,251 I finally found where I belong. 561 00:38:23,974 --> 00:38:26,610 [Alistair] You can't possibly plan on staying out here. 562 00:38:26,643 --> 00:38:29,579 [Niles] Ah, the Bureau will manage fine without me. 563 00:38:29,612 --> 00:38:32,315 [Alistair] You've been gone a long time, Niles. 564 00:38:32,349 --> 00:38:34,083 The world's changed. 565 00:38:34,117 --> 00:38:35,117 We're at war. 566 00:38:35,117 --> 00:38:37,353 A Great War. 567 00:38:37,387 --> 00:38:39,322 Worst anyone's ever seen. 568 00:38:39,356 --> 00:38:41,123 I didn't know. 569 00:38:41,157 --> 00:38:42,425 We had no choice. 570 00:38:42,458 --> 00:38:44,793 Organization had to change. 571 00:38:44,827 --> 00:38:46,496 Mission had to evolve. 572 00:38:46,530 --> 00:38:49,300 Odd is out. Normal is in. 573 00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:51,635 What does that mean? 574 00:38:51,668 --> 00:38:53,570 The mission. 575 00:38:53,603 --> 00:38:56,739 We still seek out that which is abnormal, 576 00:38:56,773 --> 00:39:00,373 only now we exterminate. 577 00:39:03,213 --> 00:39:05,215 You've been gone, Niles. 578 00:39:05,248 --> 00:39:07,318 The world no longer needs explorers. 579 00:39:07,351 --> 00:39:12,300 The world always needs explorers. 580 00:39:16,893 --> 00:39:20,929 [Alistair] Tell me, how did you do it, survive out here? 581 00:39:20,963 --> 00:39:24,300 [Niles] I was fortunate. 582 00:39:24,333 --> 00:39:26,871 I found the bodies of those two missing hunters. 583 00:39:26,905 --> 00:39:30,639 They had equipment, gear, enough for me to survive. 584 00:39:30,672 --> 00:39:31,840 I foraged. 585 00:39:31,876 --> 00:39:35,844 And I learned to hunt. 586 00:39:35,878 --> 00:39:37,880 Winters were difficult. 587 00:39:37,914 --> 00:39:39,483 I managed to find shelter. 588 00:39:39,516 --> 00:39:44,516 Well, I sure had the wrong impression of you, Niles Caulder. 589 00:39:46,690 --> 00:39:51,161 Your hairy little girlfriend. 590 00:39:51,195 --> 00:39:56,166 She didn't have anything to do with your miraculous survival, did she? 591 00:39:56,199 --> 00:39:58,101 Don't deny it. 592 00:39:58,135 --> 00:39:59,969 I've seen her. 593 00:40:00,003 --> 00:40:02,139 I've been tracking her. 594 00:40:02,172 --> 00:40:04,474 She's good. 595 00:40:04,507 --> 00:40:07,244 Haven't found her nest. 596 00:40:07,277 --> 00:40:09,878 [rifle clicking] 597 00:40:09,914 --> 00:40:13,213 Why don't you show me? 598 00:40:17,219 --> 00:40:19,822 [Rita] What the hell happened back there? 599 00:40:19,856 --> 00:40:21,023 Just a glitch. 600 00:40:21,056 --> 00:40:23,293 Victor. 601 00:40:23,327 --> 00:40:27,864 Something's wrong. 602 00:40:27,896 --> 00:40:30,333 With me. 603 00:40:30,367 --> 00:40:32,702 Ever since my reset button got pushed, 604 00:40:32,735 --> 00:40:35,271 something's been wrong in my system. 605 00:40:35,304 --> 00:40:36,675 And it's getting worse. 606 00:40:36,706 --> 00:40:38,943 Did you ask your father for help? 607 00:40:38,974 --> 00:40:40,210 I can't trust my dad. 608 00:40:40,242 --> 00:40:41,577 If I ask him for help, he would just 609 00:40:41,577 --> 00:40:43,880 take control of my whole system and never let go. 610 00:40:43,914 --> 00:40:45,414 He's not like Niles. 611 00:40:45,449 --> 00:40:48,418 He's, um... 612 00:40:48,452 --> 00:40:51,688 I gotta handle this whole thing on my own. 613 00:40:51,722 --> 00:40:54,525 What are you going to do about it, then? 614 00:40:54,559 --> 00:40:57,027 We can't keep blowing up the mansion every other day. 615 00:40:57,059 --> 00:40:59,161 I can fix it. 616 00:40:59,195 --> 00:41:00,697 I promise. 617 00:41:00,731 --> 00:41:02,331 But don't tell anyone yet. 618 00:41:02,331 --> 00:41:03,500 They rest of the team can't know. 619 00:41:03,501 --> 00:41:05,335 They'll worry I'm turning into that... 620 00:41:05,369 --> 00:41:09,539 psychopath in Jane's painting. 621 00:41:09,572 --> 00:41:14,010 What are the rest of us supposed to do in the meantime? 622 00:41:14,010 --> 00:41:14,943 We need you. 623 00:41:14,943 --> 00:41:17,213 We need the Chief. 624 00:41:17,246 --> 00:41:19,516 As ridiculous as it sounds, 625 00:41:19,516 --> 00:41:20,952 our best chance of finding him just 626 00:41:20,952 --> 00:41:25,454 kicked my ass with some beard magic. 627 00:41:25,489 --> 00:41:27,190 Thank goodness I was able to stick him 628 00:41:27,224 --> 00:41:31,927 with that tracking doohickey thing of yours before he got away. 629 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,128 You're kidding. 630 00:41:33,164 --> 00:41:34,431 Mmm. 631 00:41:34,463 --> 00:41:37,233 Rita Farr, you're amazing! 632 00:41:37,266 --> 00:41:38,434 Fix yourself up quick. 633 00:41:38,467 --> 00:41:39,838 Once you're back online, 634 00:41:39,869 --> 00:41:42,905 we'll track down the Beard Hunter together. 635 00:41:42,938 --> 00:41:44,373 [sighs] Thank you. 636 00:41:44,407 --> 00:41:46,675 -[electricity buzzing] -[gasps] 637 00:41:46,675 --> 00:41:47,577 [gasps] 638 00:41:47,577 --> 00:41:48,945 [system whirring] 639 00:41:48,978 --> 00:41:51,981 [panting] 640 00:41:52,014 --> 00:41:55,485 [Rita] Welcome back, Jane. 641 00:41:55,518 --> 00:41:59,590 Give her some room. 642 00:41:59,623 --> 00:42:03,126 [Cliff] What the hell happened here? 643 00:42:03,159 --> 00:42:05,858 [both] Long story. 644 00:42:12,135 --> 00:42:15,905 What happened in there? 645 00:42:15,940 --> 00:42:19,943 [Cliff] It's not my story to tell. 646 00:42:19,976 --> 00:42:21,327 I get it. 647 00:42:30,186 --> 00:42:31,255 [Alistair] Fortunate. 648 00:42:31,289 --> 00:42:34,023 That monster you and I were after all these years 649 00:42:34,059 --> 00:42:39,059 turned out to be nothing more than a hairy little troll. 650 00:42:40,164 --> 00:42:41,697 After last time, 651 00:42:41,731 --> 00:42:46,402 I traveled north with half a dozen men for protection. 652 00:42:46,436 --> 00:42:49,505 [chuckles] 653 00:42:49,539 --> 00:42:52,608 Seems silly now. 654 00:42:52,643 --> 00:42:55,077 How did you find her? 655 00:42:55,110 --> 00:42:57,815 She found me. 656 00:42:57,847 --> 00:43:00,849 Bureau will give me an award for this one. 657 00:43:00,849 --> 00:43:01,585 [ice cracking] 658 00:43:01,585 --> 00:43:03,119 Both of us. 659 00:43:03,119 --> 00:43:04,052 [ice continues cracking] 660 00:43:04,052 --> 00:43:06,155 Did you hear that? 661 00:43:06,188 --> 00:43:07,425 Hear what? 662 00:43:07,456 --> 00:43:10,025 [Niles] I believe the word is... 663 00:43:10,059 --> 00:43:11,893 "Horkon." 664 00:43:11,927 --> 00:43:12,996 [ice breaking] 665 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:13,730 [Alistair screams] 666 00:43:13,731 --> 00:43:16,429 [Alistair gasping] 667 00:43:19,469 --> 00:43:21,472 I'm not the man you remember. 668 00:43:21,505 --> 00:43:22,739 Help me! 669 00:43:22,773 --> 00:43:24,742 No one can know about her. 670 00:43:24,742 --> 00:43:25,742 Ah! 671 00:43:25,742 --> 00:43:28,445 She's my secret to protect from the world. 672 00:43:28,478 --> 00:43:29,478 Help! 673 00:43:38,521 --> 00:43:40,771 Oyewah. 674 00:44:02,545 --> 00:44:03,597 [sighs] 675 00:44:21,465 --> 00:44:23,864 [men chattering] 676 00:44:39,083 --> 00:44:42,385 [Niles] My journey to the north was fraught with peril. 677 00:44:42,418 --> 00:44:45,255 It came at a great cost. 678 00:44:45,289 --> 00:44:49,559 But I'm pleased to report to the gentlemen of the Bureau that, 679 00:44:49,592 --> 00:44:53,630 whilst my experience was unique, 680 00:44:53,664 --> 00:44:56,666 there is nothing odd to report. 681 00:44:56,699 --> 00:45:01,672 There is no monster to speak of. 682 00:45:01,704 --> 00:45:05,474 I was alone for many years. 683 00:45:05,510 --> 00:45:09,079 But, in that time, I did make a discovery. 684 00:45:09,112 --> 00:45:14,112 I discovered the strength inside myself to survive 685 00:45:14,452 --> 00:45:17,152 and to outwit 686 00:45:17,186 --> 00:45:19,322 and outlast 687 00:45:19,356 --> 00:45:24,356 whatever true monsters this world has to offer. 688 00:45:27,097 --> 00:45:29,032 Thank you. 689 00:45:29,065 --> 00:45:33,369 [all applauding] 690 00:45:33,402 --> 00:45:35,652 [loud applause] 691 00:45:50,222 --> 00:45:52,922 Well, what do you know? Even I discovered something today. 692 00:45:52,956 --> 00:45:55,525 Didn't know you've been eavesdropping on my memories. 693 00:45:55,525 --> 00:45:56,626 [Mr. Morden] Haven't you noticed? 694 00:45:56,626 --> 00:45:59,731 I'm crafting a story piece by piece. 695 00:45:59,762 --> 00:46:02,599 "The Search for the Chief." This... 696 00:46:02,632 --> 00:46:06,603 unexpected wet dream of yours, 697 00:46:06,635 --> 00:46:08,838 this is a very important chapter. 698 00:46:08,871 --> 00:46:12,876 The day Niles Caulder changed forever. 699 00:46:12,909 --> 00:46:14,411 Don't know what you're talking about. 700 00:46:14,443 --> 00:46:16,478 Oh, don't you? 701 00:46:16,512 --> 00:46:18,213 Well, what did we learn? 702 00:46:18,248 --> 00:46:19,849 You murdered your friend 703 00:46:19,882 --> 00:46:24,487 and left your dream girl behind, all for what? 704 00:46:24,521 --> 00:46:26,021 True love? 705 00:46:29,592 --> 00:46:32,262 More secrets. 706 00:46:32,295 --> 00:46:33,797 Hmm. 707 00:46:33,829 --> 00:46:36,565 More layers to the banana, unappealing. 708 00:46:36,599 --> 00:46:38,969 [scoffs] 709 00:46:39,003 --> 00:46:43,306 Secrets have a cost. Look at what they've cost you. 710 00:46:43,340 --> 00:46:47,744 Look at what the search for you has cost them, 711 00:46:47,777 --> 00:46:50,914 your band of bargain-bin action figures. 712 00:46:50,947 --> 00:46:52,900 They're stronger than you think. 713 00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:57,188 [snickering] I'm counting on it. But you and I both know, 714 00:46:57,222 --> 00:47:02,222 there's no way they all make it to the finish line. 715 00:47:04,128 --> 00:47:07,231 You've always been a man comfortable with compromise, Niles. 716 00:47:07,264 --> 00:47:10,501 I mean, after all, you fell in love with a Canadian. 717 00:47:10,534 --> 00:47:13,536 Let's play a game. 718 00:47:13,570 --> 00:47:15,039 Answer one question, 719 00:47:15,072 --> 00:47:18,407 and all this goes away. 720 00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:19,710 You go home. 721 00:47:19,742 --> 00:47:23,547 Yes, your precious family will survive. 722 00:47:23,579 --> 00:47:26,416 There'll be chocolate cake, balloons. 723 00:47:26,449 --> 00:47:30,619 Just answer one question. 724 00:47:30,655 --> 00:47:34,425 Where is the girl? 725 00:47:34,456 --> 00:47:36,360 I don't know what you mean. 726 00:47:36,393 --> 00:47:40,295 That's what all this has been about, hasn't it? 727 00:47:40,329 --> 00:47:41,532 All this time. 728 00:47:41,565 --> 00:47:46,565 Your foolish quest to live forever. All to keep her safe. 729 00:47:46,838 --> 00:47:50,039 You're wrong. 730 00:47:50,074 --> 00:47:53,210 You and I have been doing this dance for a long time, Niles. 731 00:47:53,244 --> 00:47:55,579 I don't know how, and I don't know why, 732 00:47:55,612 --> 00:47:57,447 but, somehow, 733 00:47:57,481 --> 00:48:00,952 you've managed to keep a hairy little secret away from me, 734 00:48:00,983 --> 00:48:03,353 and I want the truth. 735 00:48:03,385 --> 00:48:06,655 Where is she? 736 00:48:06,690 --> 00:48:08,260 Tell me! 737 00:48:08,291 --> 00:48:13,130 -Think about what will happen to them if you don't-- -No. 738 00:48:13,164 --> 00:48:18,164 No. I don't care what you do to them. 739 00:48:18,436 --> 00:48:23,436 I will never give you the satisfaction of breaking me. 740 00:48:24,041 --> 00:48:29,041 Now, that's the Niles Caulder that I know. 741 00:48:29,244 --> 00:48:31,045 [snickering] 742 00:48:35,418 --> 00:48:38,268 [snickering echoes] 743 00:48:48,164 --> 00:48:50,733 -[voicemail beeps] -[Ernest on phone] Hey, Mama, it's Ernest. 744 00:48:50,766 --> 00:48:52,235 My mission was a huge success, 745 00:48:52,268 --> 00:48:54,304 I guess I'm a legit supervillain now. 746 00:48:54,338 --> 00:48:57,007 Anyway, been tracking Niles Caulder's beard here for days, 747 00:48:57,039 --> 00:48:59,842 but I'm getting closer. I can smell it. 748 00:48:59,876 --> 00:49:01,411 -All right, be home soon. -[voicemail beeps] 749 00:49:01,445 --> 00:49:04,414 [Mrs. Franklin] Hi, Ernie. Sorry I missed your call. 750 00:49:04,447 --> 00:49:08,184 So exciting about the beard-hair thing. 751 00:49:08,217 --> 00:49:10,219 Hope you're making lots of friends. 752 00:49:10,253 --> 00:49:12,922 Anyway, I love you. Come home soon. 753 00:49:12,956 --> 00:49:17,956 Also, I need the car back. 754 00:49:19,429 --> 00:49:20,628 Finally. 755 00:49:25,869 --> 00:49:28,871 [Doll] Oh, hello, there. 756 00:49:28,905 --> 00:49:30,675 Who are you? 757 00:49:30,706 --> 00:49:33,376 Have you come to play with me? 758 00:49:33,409 --> 00:49:36,409 I like your costume. 759 00:49:41,684 --> 00:49:43,954 [creature roaring] 760 00:49:43,987 --> 00:49:46,088 [Ernest screaming]