Mr. Iglesias is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
We did it, Mr. Iglesias. We won Green Week.
My generation thanks you,
and that's saying a lot because we do not have great manners.
Yeah, and what better way to celebrate than with some tacos.
Food so awesome, you can eat the wrapper it comes in.
Yeah, about that. Um...
It is so great having you as an ally.
You know, there's so much in the world worth fighting for.
You know what I like fighting for? Nobody fighting.
This is no time to rest on our laurels.
It's my lunch hour. It seems like a great time to rest on our laurels.
What are laurels?
You know what big issue I want to tackle next?
I don't know, but I know what big issue I want to tackle next.
Carne asada or carnitas.
Exactly.
Cultural appropriation.
Uh, must be one of the specials, 'cause I don't see that on the menu.
You know on morning news shows
when white anchors wear sombreros and shake maracas on Cinco de Mayo?
Yeah, it's always awkward when they want to break out the tequila!
It's Cinco de Drinko!
Pew-pew!
Pew!
It's not awkward, it's offensive.
And we need to put a stop to that kind of behavior.
All right, look, I'm with you.
Let me just order some tacos,
and we'll work on a battle plan right after, okay?
You want anything?
No.
My battle plan is no tacos.
That is a horrible battle plan.
It's worse than the Fyre Festival,
which might have actually worked if they had tacos.
That's why I'm here. You can't buy them from this truck.
Bob is Filipino, not Mexican.
I don't really care.
I'm more hungry than woke.
What? What? Save my spot.
What? Hey! Don't be a taco blocker.
Really?
Whoo!
So, less than a year after D-Day, the soldiers celebrated VE Day.
Yeah, and a lot of them spent the rest of their lives
celebrating VD Day.
Don't leave me hanging, bro, that was gold.
Lorenzo would have laughed if he wasn't at that UFO Convention.
- What? - I mean, sick.
Right. You'll have to excuse me.
I'm... I'm a little off 'cause I didn't have lunch.
Mr. Iglesias was participating in the fight to get Jorge's Tacos back
after Bob drove him out.
- Jorge's tacos were overpriced. - And they weren't even that good.
Jorge was mean, calling someone flaco is also body shaming.
Especially when it's sarcastic.
At least Jorge was mean to us in Spanish. Bob isn't even Mexican.
All right, look, so Bob is Filipino, okay?
They're the Mexicans of Asia.
You told me that the Irish were the Mexicans of England.
What makes someone the Mexican of somewhere else?
They get treated worse than everybody else.
So, I'm the Mexican of PE?
Hey, it's Bob, the Mexican of Asia.
It's my favorite Yelp reviewer.
WalterWeed420.
Well, well, well.
Speak of the diablo.
How did you get in here?
Oh, it was easy. I was like, "Hi, Mr. Security Guard.
Here's a taco.
See you later."
That was pretty good. Okay, now I'm gonna be the security guard.
Ready? Okay. Halt!
Come on in.
- Do you have any ID? - Yeah.
Looks just like you.
I missed my best customer today, so those are on the house.
Really?
By eating that taco, you're supporting a non-Mexican
who's profiting off our culture.
He's not profiting, he gave it to me for free!
Seriously, I am doing my best to put him out of business.
Good for you, Mr. Iglesias.
Ooh... get lost, Bob!
And I brought enough tacos for everybody.
I love this guy.
Those tacos don't have eggs on them, but you look yolked, bro.
Thanks, I... I've been using my mom's Shake Weights.
Oh, my gosh, how do you say delicious in Spanish?
Bob won't be able to tell you.
Delicioso.
It's practically the same word!
I picked up quite a few phrases growing up in Long Beach,
plus I'm Filipino, so people always think I'm Mexican.
Dude, I know exactly what you mean.
I had to stop wearing Hawaiian shirts
'cause people always thought I was Hawaiian.
That's so crazy. I thought you were Samoan.
Bruh?
I'm sure you think just because you're not white,
you can take from another culture and profit from it.
Hold on, okay, because I'm only half not white.
The other half white.
Sucks, right?
I'll tell you what, Bob.
By the power vested in me, Tapatio, and Danny Trejo,
with a side of Lady Cholula,
I now pronounce you honorary Mexican.
What? Uh... No!
You can't just declare someone Mexican.
Hey, the cops do it all the time.
By the powers vested in me, by the gods of lumpia,
I now pronounce you honorary Filipino.
You may now pronounce the letter F as a letter P.
Welcome to being Pilipino, my priend.
You are my BPP.
Hmm.
You're my best priend porever.
Peels pretty good.
Look, I may not be Mexican,
but I'm pretty sure my tacos will put a smile on your face.
I only want mine if it comes with a side of cultural authenticity.
Sure,
but I call that guacamole.
Pass.
It over to me.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- Wow. Amazing. - I know. Hmm.
Please forgive me.
Those little pieces of pineapple.
Heaven. Heaven.
Heaven!
Okay, I'm very, very sorry.
You know, uh, sometimes the heart and the stomach want different things.
Your heart.
Is a liar.
Marisol!
Adios!
I cannot believe I am the only one in this whole class
who's willing to take a stand for what's right.
Marisol!
Why are you so unhappy?
Hey, bro, let me tell you something.
If anyone should be unhappy, it should be me.
I tried to get to you earlier, but she made me eat sunflower seeds.
And scene!
Mikey!
Dare I say it, you remind me of a young Laurence Olivier.
And, Marisol
look at you doing it.
I really need to practice.
Okay, but I'm only available from 5:00 a.m. until 1:00 a.m.
You can text me if you need me in between.
Carlos, we have a problem.
Is Romeo and Juliet sold out? Do we need to add more seats?
Should we move the entire production to the convention center?
Relax, StubHub.
I am buried in complaints from parents about this play.
How many complaints?
Okay, one, but that's how cancel culture works.
All it takes is one busybody mom with a Twitter account.
- She can take this whole school down. - Okay, what are they upset about,
that Romeo and Juliet wake up in bed together?
No, that's a teachable moment.
A gentleman doesn't skulk off in the middle of the night
with his belt buckle rattling all the way to the door.
Dwayne.
So if it's not the way the play tastefully depicts young love,
then what is it?
They're offended by the raunchy language, so we need to go through the whole thing,
and take out any words that sound like antique porn.
Well, I'm offended by censorship.
When did my attack dog become a lap dog?
I learned a lot at that vice principal's conference.
- Whatever. Get out of my office. - We're in the auditorium.
This is my school, so the whole thing is my office.
Hey, Gaber.
Hey.
Why so glum, chum?
Well, Marisol killed my lunch
just for defending Bob's Tacos.
I swear she is embracing her inner chola.
Her street name will be Angry Smart Girl.
Marisol has such passion for social justice.
She can ruin anything.
Everyone's so sensitive these days about culture vultures.
Look, if the Japanese want to make sushi, I say so be it.
Tony, sushi is Japanese.
Really?
California roll?
Boston roll?
Philadelphia roll?
Wake up, Abby.
Sad part, Abby, is you are awake, and this is not a nightmare.
Well, I think celebrating other people's traditions
is just borrowing with love.
Me wearing this bracelet says, "I love you, Africa."
And the five bucks you paid for it says, "I hate you kids who made it."
Okay. Gonna need some scissors, so...
You know, times like these,
I'm thinking we need more delicious tacos, not less. Right?
This is what you get for empowering your kids.
"Fight for what you believe in."
"Do the right thing."
"There's still hope."
Where do you come up with this stuff?
Coffee mugs, mostly.
Well, I've learned a lot from cat posters.
"Hang in there, baby."
"Explore your feel-ines."
"I hate Mondays."
A lot of great life lessons.
Look, when our prisons are full of young black men,
it ain't worth worrying about who stole our music.
It was Elvis.
Oh, Lord, have mercy!
A food truck hasn't caused me this much indigestion
since I was over-served at Silly Willy's Chili.
Let me guess, Marisol get to you?
Yes, she did.
But Gabe, you know, for once she made some really good points.
Don't tell me you're anti-taco now.
No, I'm just tired of leeches just take, take, taking from my culture,
like the Kardashians.
Now you can buy that booty, but it don't mean you know how to use it.
I'd like to get used by a Kardashian.
Yeah, sorry, Tony. You're out of luck.
They only use black men.
Another thing they've stolen from us.
Sometimes it's just nice to be valued.
All good points, but what does this have to do with Bob's Tacos?
Gabe, Bob is the Kardashians.
They can't have my behind,
and he can't colonize Jorge's spot in the parking lot.
Food truck's gone.
That's twice today I've been taco-blocked.
Did anyone see your truck?
No, when you guys told me it was a stealth mission,
I decided not to drive the giant truck with my name on the side of it
that's playing "La Cucaracha."
Smart.
Okay.
Okay. What are you doing?
Checking for a wire. Standard protocol.
Oh, my.
- Wow, what do you bench? - Okay.
Gabe, can non-employees complain to your HR department?
- What do you squat? - Okay. All right. Yeah.
Sorry, Bob. You'll have to forgive Tony.
It's, uh, been a while since he's seen second base.
All right, look.
The school needs its fix, and you need to move product.
Okay, we're gonna split everything down the middle 60-40.
Hope you brought the good stuff.
Oh-ho! This is legit.
- You guys want to know my secret? - Mm?
GMOs.
I pump my cows with steroids.
Those tacos will last for weeks.
Not if I'm around.
Zombie tacos, all right.
So much better than that organic crap.
Yeah.
You know what organic means, it means it tastes like culo.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Don't get high on your own supply.
Oh, I'm strong, bro. I got this. I got this.
I'm hooked.
Okay, to get the parent that leaves a four-minute voicemail off my back,
we are going to go through the whole thing and cut out anything racy or suggestive.
At my church, we had to do that with the Bible.
Yeah. Immaculate conception?
You skipped all the good stuff and went right to the bummer.
Well, I don't think you're going to find anything...
Found one!
"My naked weapon is out."
That's about a sword.
Yeah, it is.
Cut it.
Ooh, here's one.
"Montague is bound as well as I."
Tying each other up?
Shakespeare was freaky deaky.
My safe word is fiddlesticks.
- Oh, really? - Fiddlesticks.
Okay, in Shakespeare, bound means committed.
Well, he should have just said that. Cut it.
Is this one?
"Why then, is my pump well-flowered?"
It sounds dirty.
I like it.
Okay, you think "hello" sounds dirty.
It's dirtier than "goodbye."
All right, well, we're gonna say goodbye to the flower pump. Cut it.
- There's not going to be anything left. - Oh... that's a great idea.
Play is canceled.
Oh, fiddlesticks!
Tacos, burritos, get your very authentic taco.
Ai ai ai!
Súper auténtico. Súper auténticos tacos.
Oh, hey!
Tres tacos, muy grande, la biblioteca.
Six bucks.
And, uh, la biblioteca is that way.
One of everything.
My man!
You're ordering stuff that's fun and delicious.
You okay, Carlos?
Paula just canceled the play for inappropriate language,
so I've decided to eat my feelings.
One deluxe combo coming up.
You should be asleep after that.
Come on, Carlos.
You know how Paula works. You gotta cater to her ego.
Put her in the play.
If she's in it, you don't have to change a thing.
Yeah. Ah!
And if you promise her a new wig, she'll be adding dirty words.
I will not debase myself by kowtowing to Paula's ego.
I'll... I'll change her mind on the merit of the art.
Okay, but, you know, her idea of high art is the Masked Singer.
Ca-caw ca-caw!
Boba Fett has entered the cantina.
Yeah, more like the Millennial Falcon.
You're gonna have to Han-dle this Solo.
Yeah, 'cause I'm about to get my ass Chewbacca-ed.
I'm going to a galaxy far, far away.
Wow, quite the setup.
Where did you get these tacos?
Taco fairy.
Named Bob?
I call him Roberto.
Not cool, Mr. Iglesias.
Come on.
Look, he's not selling the tacos, I am, and I'm Mexican-American,
so we're good, right?
Yeah! Pew pew!
No, pew pew.
We're not good.
Why do you gotta make food political?
It's just tacos. Everybody loves tacos.
Even Carlos, and he hates everything.
Mexicans created tacos.
They should be ours to sell.
Mexicans invented piñatas, and I don't see you picketing Party City.
Oh, I have a list.
Can't believe you don't get this,
because if you don't, no one else here will.
Why?
Why do you have to be such trouble?
Why do you have to be so good?
I don't know, but you can't seem to stay away.
Shh...
Don't say nothing.
Paula.
Been thinking about what you said.
And I've been thinking about converting the auditorium to an Airbnb.
Crazy thing about language is,
well, the way it evolves in context and interpretation.
I'm sorry if you misinterpreted the context of "play's canceled."
No, Paula, the famous choreographer Martha Graham once said,
"Censorship is the height of vanity."
I'm okay with that.
I've been vain ever since I first saw myself in a mirror.
Oh, hello!
You know what, Paula? As the head of the drama department,
I will not stand for the cancellation of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh, no!
It is with deep regret that I accept your resignation.
You know my biggest regret?
Your scented pomade?
No.
It's that Long Beach will not get to see your performance.
Wait, what's that now?
I was gonna surprise you with a prominent role in the play,
but alas, alack, 'twas not to be. Adieu.
Wait a minute. Where you rushing off to, honey?
It's true. I was going to cast you as the chorus.
You get to speak first.
Center of attention.
Adoring male fans with chiseled abs.
- Oh... - You wouldn't be interested.
You don't know me. Play's back on.
What about the parent who complained?
Oh, Carlos, parents complain about everything.
"Class size is too big." "What happened to the art department?"
The principal needs to stop eye-banging my husband. Wah, wah, wah!
Now give me my script.
Oh!
Oh, look who it is.
It's my favorite student.
Have you figured out why your favorite student is upset yet?
You know, I'm still trying to figure out who let the dogs out.
You're not getting out of this with jokes, Mr. Iglesias.
Fine. What about faces?
Have you met my friend, surprised gopher?
It was worth a shot.
Look, here's my problem with Bob, okay?
When Mexicans were selling tacos on the street, it was illegal.
Then other people started doing it, and it became cool and profitable.
This taco truck is just another reminder that we're still in the shadows.
Look, I... I... I get it.
You know who else is in the shadows? Every February 2nd?
This guy.
Damn it. You got me.
Ah, it wasn't me.
It was this guy.
Stop!
Look, uh
instead of seeing someone like Bob as your enemy,
you could think of him as a potential partner.
Partner?
Oh, no. He's here, isn't he?
Well, I sure hope so,
because my plan will not work if he forgot.
Hey, girl. We good?
Can you please ask your principal to let me park my truck
in front of the school again?
Does Dolores Huerta eat grapes?
That means no.
Hey, uh... Hey, Bob, is...
Is there something you'd like to say to Marisol?
- The apology. - Uh...
- You really gotta read the whole text. - Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Marisol, I'm genuinely sorry that I offended you for selling tacos
even though I'm not Mexican.
Eh?
What a great guy.
Look at that, huh?
And, uh
Marisol, would you like to apologize to...
No, I'm good.
Okay, then.
Look, we're not that different, you guys.
You know, Mexicans and Filipinos were both colonized by Spain.
Let's get 'em.
Easy, Pacquiao.
All I'm saying is, you guys have a lot more in common than you realize.
Marisol, uh, how tall is your grandmother?
You mean, how short?
She'll never ride Space Mountain.
My grandmother is tiny too,
but that never stopped her from smacking us around with her slipper.
Yeah, my abuelita does that, but we call it a chancla.
It's one part of my culture I wish someone would steal and not return.
Oh, my God! I got a welt right here still that says size three and a half.
You see how much we have in common? Huh?
Cultures trading words, music, and food.
And we're stronger because of it.
Yeah, when... whenever we have a potluck on my block,
my Filipino neighbor always brings this amazing mouth-watering pork adobo?
Oh, my God! That's the only kind of adobo.
Sometimes I just throw it in one of my grandma's handmade tortillas.
I call it a tacobo.
Tacobo.
Oh, I could go for one of those right now.
I'd eat at that truck.
Dude.
That could be your truck.
I think what Mr. Iglesias is saying is,
how about I bring my grandma's homemade tortillas,
and you bring your grandma's adobo,
and we run this town?
Boom!
I love that idea.
I'll have my people call your people.
I'm my people.
I'm also my people.
Look at that. At the end of the day, we're all just people.
Bringing the world together with food.
I only have one question.
Is it about tacos?
Did you really think I was Samoan?