1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,510 Mr. Iglesias is recorded in front of a live studio audience. 2 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:13,805 There you are. 3 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:16,766 Yup, where I am every day, ten minutes before school starts. 4 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,102 Shouldn't you be at home just waking up? 5 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,647 I did just wake up, but I got burnt this morning. 6 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,524 There was no traffic. Now what do I do? 7 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,111 Hey, speaking of traffic, uh, 8 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,864 I saw some girls walking past you last night at Roxanne's. 9 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:35,035 The problem is that my wingman can't date because of his stupid AA rules. 10 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,747 How is me not being able to date for a year 11 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,041 responsible for you striking out for a year? 12 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,753 It's just basic wingman math. 13 00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:49,090 But that's all gonna change in two weeks when you get your one year chip. 14 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,969 Yeah, then we get to visit any church basement, drink stale coffee, 15 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,430 and watch cigarette butts pile up in the corner. 16 00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,516 That's living. 17 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,352 Come on, bro, it'll be just like the old days. 18 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:04,939 You and me spitting game, getting digits, breaking hearts. 19 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,649 Who did you hang out with? 20 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,529 Come on, bro. I bet you're just chomping at the bit to get back out there. 21 00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:13,990 No, not really, man. 22 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,869 As it turns out, when I'm not dating, I have time, money, 23 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,246 and above all, self-esteem. 24 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,845 Come on, bro. Think of what you're missing. 25 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,460 Good morning. 26 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,879 And it just got a lot better. 27 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,632 God, you're exhausting. 28 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,636 Man, am I missing out. 29 00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:38,723 Good morning, fellow educators. 30 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:39,682 - Morning. - Hey. 31 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,684 Hey, I have to say, 32 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,313 despite having two entire chardonnays last night, 33 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,900 I feel right as rain. 34 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,446 Why don't you make him your wingman? 35 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,824 He's right as rain. 36 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:58,952 Whoa! 37 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:01,329 Paula, looking good! What's the occasion? 38 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,957 Yeah. They found someone who actually wants to host the Oscars. 39 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,211 Oh, hush that fuss. 40 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,296 I wake up like this. 41 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,092 I wake up like this... 42 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,510 A-boom! 43 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,804 I wake up like this... 44 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:18,972 I don't wanna! 45 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,602 No, seriously, Paula, what is all this? 46 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,565 Oh, I realized when I struck out as badly as you did last night, 47 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,233 I need to step up my A-game. 48 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,194 24/7, 365, 7-Eleven. 49 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,363 7-Eleven? 50 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,242 That's right, I ain't too proud to creep out the Slurpee machine. 51 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,245 You should be. 52 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,917 I know, Gabe, but the bar scene is exhausting and stressful 53 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,210 and humiliating. 54 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,046 But once you get past all that, it's just overpriced. 55 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,050 You know what I do when I strike out at the bar? 56 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:59,554 I go outside, and I hit on the borrachas in line at the taco truck. 57 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,393 Never stop closing. 58 00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:08,730 Whatever, it's all just flavors of hell. 59 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,651 - She seems good. - Yeah. 60 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,620 Woo! 61 00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,582 Look, maybe it's time for a life change. 62 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:30,168 If you're miserable, why not take a break from dating? 63 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,463 - Who said I was miserable? - Uh, you did in the faculty lounge. 64 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,965 Oh, well, aren't you just a great listener? 65 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,258 And were you enjoying dating 66 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:40,220 that time you ugly-cried on my shoulder in the staff meeting? 67 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,138 I paid for the dry cleaning. 68 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,850 Look, there's no upside to dating, okay? 69 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,770 When you ask someone out, they either crush you by saying no 70 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,563 or terrify you by saying yeah. 71 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,814 Interesting. 72 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,441 No plucking, no waxing, 73 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,276 no extensions, no weaves. 74 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:59,447 Wow, dating is just adding or subtracting hair. 75 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:03,618 Yeah. And you know what's even better than subtracting hair? 76 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,578 Subtracting dating apps. 77 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,999 Gabe, you may be onto something. 78 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,921 Goodbye, Tinder. 79 00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:17,924 OkCupid, you so stupid. 80 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,970 Goodbye, Hinge, you make me cringe. 81 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,098 No more stumbles with Bumble. Ooh! 82 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,225 Goodbye, Grubhub. 83 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:28,810 But Grubhub is for food delivery. 84 00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,436 Not the way I use it. 85 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:40,863 Remember this moment, 86 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,241 for you are about to begin a 87 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,034 lifelong dance 88 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,538 with the most influential writer the world has ever known. 89 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,832 Yeah, better not be J.K. Rowling. 90 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,667 There are no black Hufflepuffs. 91 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,086 Or brown. 92 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,797 Hogwarts really needs a diversity scholarship. 93 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,216 Oh, that place isn't real. 94 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,551 I looked it up. 95 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:06,556 Diversity is not an issue with the great William Shakespeare. 96 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,599 Need I remind you of Othello? 97 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,853 Only if you want us to know anything about it. 98 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,356 Othello, the Moor of Venice, 99 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,318 who murdered his innocent wife Desdemona out of jealousy. 100 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:22,322 So the only black character in Shakespeare murdered his wife? 101 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,032 O-thell-no! 102 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,367 Relax, Lorenzo. 103 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:30,121 We'll be studying Romeo and Juliet in preparation for the spring performance. 104 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,373 I love rom-come. 105 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,126 It is romantic, not a ton of laughs. 106 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:38,296 Although, my Balthazar did get a few titters. 107 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,382 He said balls and titters. 108 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,679 The most important element 109 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,182 in staging a successful Romeo and Juliet 110 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,517 is the chemistry between the star-crossed lovers. 111 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,601 Oh, yeah, it is. 112 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,438 If that balcony's a-rocking, don't come a-knocking. 113 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,191 Grace 114 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,903 would you be our ingenue, the fair Juliet? 115 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:03,780 I'm not getting on that balcony. 116 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,616 Okay. Um... Marisol! 117 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,869 - Here. - Yes, we have a volunteer. 118 00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:11,954 - Up on your feet! - Wait, what? 119 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:16,125 Mr. Iglesias raves about you all the time. He says you're great at everything you do. 120 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,503 Oh... he's very kind, 121 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,838 but I don't... That's not... We don't have to... 122 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,549 Come on! Do not deny us your brilliance. 123 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,718 - I don't... That's not... No. - Up you go! 124 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,678 Ha ha! All right! 125 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,972 - Who's willing to be our... - I... I call Romeo! 126 00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:34,811 So, I'm Romeo, and Marisol is Juliet. And action! 127 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,021 Here's the thing. 128 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:41,067 Um... I... I... I don't think I can get into a character 129 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,194 who subscribes to the patriarchal myth 130 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:45,988 of some guy sweeping her off her feet. 131 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,240 Which I totally can! 132 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:48,950 I've been working out. 133 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:53,287 As a feminist, I have to refuse to perpetuate the stereotype 134 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,039 of the helpless female. 135 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,875 I really think you should consider perpetuating it. 136 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,422 Okay, so Marisol, you are protesting on political grounds, 137 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,108 - but did you know... - Ooh, I'll play Juliet! 138 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,843 I don't stand for anything. I just wanna be on stage. 139 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,720 In Elizabethan times, 140 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:12,598 men often played both male and female roles. 141 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,935 Sweet! I'll be like entertainment mogul Tyler Perry. 142 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,271 Where'd fort art thou, Romeot? 143 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,109 He's right here, wondering what the hell just happened! 144 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,240 What do you think about my new profile pic, former wingman? 145 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:30,700 Where did you get a dog? 146 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,827 At this new shop 147 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,245 called Photoshop. 148 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,542 Oh, that reminds me, Gertrude wants me to pick up that roll of film 149 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,335 from the Bellflower Fotomat. 150 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,546 You know they closed, like, in '98, right? 151 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:45,672 Oops. 152 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:51,304 Bro, you really think you can impress a woman with a cute picture of a dog? 153 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,599 Oh, my God, a puppy! 154 00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,021 Hello, my beautiful faculty! 155 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:04,066 Gabe, you are a miracle worker. 156 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,526 Yes. Yes, I know. 157 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,653 Call me La Virgin de Gabe-alupe. 158 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,283 Oh! Deleting those dating apps worked like a charm! 159 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:15,995 I have liberated myself from the sea of gross, horny men 160 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,581 who have pictures of fake dogs in their profile. 161 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,255 Yeah, men are horrible. 162 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:30,635 Hey, maybe some of them live in apartments that don't allow pets. 163 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:33,679 I'm proud of you, Paula. 164 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,891 Taking a break from dating is the ultimate in self-care. 165 00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:38,434 I'm really enjoying this time 166 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:42,021 before my 6-foot-5 ex moves to Long Beach to try to win me back. 167 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,942 I don't see how his height matters. 168 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,027 Oh, from up here, you'd see. 169 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,156 Ha! She got you there, Tiny Tony. 170 00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,411 Ehh... 171 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,503 Bro, can't you see that the happiest people in this room 172 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,505 are the ones taking a break from dating? 173 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,924 Oh, wait... wait a minute, I'm... I'm not taking a break. 174 00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:12,593 Yes. Yes, you are. You deleted your apps, remember? 175 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,887 Yeah, and your great advice worked. 176 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:19,141 I wasn't home swiping left, and I met a fine man at the grocery store. 177 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,019 Produce or dairy? Tell me everything! 178 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:26,440 Girl, he came to my rescue when he saw me on my tiptoes, 179 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,818 reaching for a six-pack of toilet paper. 180 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,613 Sounds like you met your Prince Charmin. 181 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,866 Oh, it's destiny! 182 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:39,453 No, Destiny is Tony's favorite stripper over at The Castle. 183 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,792 Look, Paula, this is a terrible idea. 184 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:48,588 Why? I met a gorgeous guy, and we are going on a date tonight. 185 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,966 Well, I met Gertrude in a line at a convenience store. 186 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,843 Sometimes when she's snoring, 187 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:57,513 I lie awake wondering if I really needed that Butterfinger. 188 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,393 So who's the lucky fella? 189 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,731 Rick Winslow, the basketball coach at Lakewood High. 190 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,150 Ooh, I want all the deets! 191 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:12,945 Oh, girl, I ran through that whole store pretending I couldn't reach stuff. 192 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,156 I was like... ooh! 193 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,369 Well, this is not gonna end well. 194 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,830 Rick Winslow is a legend in Long Beach. 195 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,790 For what, being able to reach stuff? 196 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,376 I don't know why they call him coach. 197 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,712 He's just a stone-cold player. 198 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,423 What? What... What are you talking about? 199 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:36,385 Look, I've met some of his rebounds, and he leaves them a hot mess. 200 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,889 They're so broken, they think Tiny Tony is a catch. 201 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,186 Well, I'm not gonna let this happen to my friend, Paula. 202 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,980 I'm gonna be as overprotective as a Mexican mom. 203 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,938 Mija, you cannot do this to yourself. Don't go out there! 204 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,494 Yo, I would've never volunteered to play Lord Montague 205 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,746 if I'd known what a supreme a-hole this dude was. 206 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,457 Yeah, how do you think I feel? 207 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,335 There's a reason Capulet begins with a "C." 208 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:14,507 What? She's controlling. 209 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:18,886 Oh, yeah, damn right, she is! And she's trying to keep me from my lady. 210 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,347 Here comes your lady now. 211 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,558 Oh, Romeo. Romeo. 212 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:27,353 Romeo, Romeo, Romeo. 213 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:28,521 Yeah, I found it. 214 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,941 Wherefore art thou, Romeo? 215 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,609 I'm in Hell! 216 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,528 Listen, Walt... 217 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:36,737 It's Juliet. 218 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:37,905 I'm a method actor. 219 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:41,075 If you want me to answer, you're gonna have to call me Juliet. 220 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,786 Fine, Juliet, 221 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,163 I wanna do the scene with Marisol. 222 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:50,334 You don't find me attractive? Well, this was hot in 1595. 223 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,714 Come on, bro, you have to help me convince Marisol to be my Juliet. 224 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:58,092 But then I'm gonna be the Apothecary. He barely has any lines! 225 00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,802 And I already got a Brazilian! 226 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:03,431 Just kidding. 227 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:06,349 Or am I? 228 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,938 There's just something about Shakespeare's weird, 229 00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:13,232 made-up words that make me feel things. 230 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,610 And if Marisol's up there with me, maybe it'll make her feel things too. 231 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,488 Listen, she's out of your league! 232 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,115 Okay. You're Pete Davidson, 233 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,493 and she's every girl that's ever gone out with Pete Davidson. 234 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,328 How does he do it? 235 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:28,956 You don't understand. 236 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:32,835 There's nothing more attractive to a girl than the loyal best friend 237 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:36,130 who's always there for her, even when she doesn't want him to be. 238 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,967 Oh, yeah, that guy always scores! 239 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,594 He might! 240 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,346 If I can just get my Marisol to be my Juliet. 241 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,015 Come on. I need your help! 242 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:47,975 Girl! 243 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:51,479 Men 244 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,063 they just take, take, take. 245 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,283 - Hey, girl! - Oh, there's my cupid. 246 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,910 Get in here. 247 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,371 - Oh! - Thanks to you, Gabe, 248 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,916 I get to bust out my Mary Belle tonight. 249 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,959 That's my showtime wig. 250 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:16,462 Well, listen, about that. 251 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,673 You know, if the universe is, uh, sending you this great guy 252 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,092 after 90 minutes of being off the market, 253 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,637 imagine what it would send you after a whole year? 254 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:28,557 Hmm. A whole year? I ain't got time for that. 255 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,812 I mean, I'm not over the hill, but I'm in the bobsled. 256 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,190 Well, what's the rush? 257 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,650 Love is not a race. 258 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,401 It's an anxiety-filled marathon. 259 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:41,654 - Hell, yeah! - Hmm. 260 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:45,366 It takes guts to keep charging back into that box of knives. 261 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,035 You know, the fact you keep calling it a box of knives 262 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,287 is probably a good reason to take a break. 263 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:56,710 Gabe, Coach Winslow and I arrived at that aisle at the same time. 264 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:57,628 It's fate. 265 00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,505 Just because you walked down an aisle 266 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:01,841 doesn't mean you're gonna walk down the aisle. 267 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:05,469 We laughed, we connected. 268 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,013 We found we share the same favorite apple. 269 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,181 Honeycrisp! 270 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,599 What are the odds of that? 271 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,433 Well, I don't know, 272 00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:15,104 if the both of you bite a Honeycrisp, I'd say a 100%! 273 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:20,109 Paula, look, I don't know how to tell you this, 274 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,695 so I'm just... I'm just gonna throw it out there, okay? 275 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,406 Rick Winslow 276 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,740 is a player. 277 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,284 Damn straight! 278 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,162 Power forward, 279 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,333 get a little Lamar Odom up in the mix. 280 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,587 You know he's a player? 281 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,046 Gabe, 282 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,382 how long have I been dating in Long Beach? 283 00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,135 I'm afraid to answer out of fear of being slapped. 284 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,639 I know Wham-Bam Winslow's reputation. 285 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,558 Then why would you go out with him? 286 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,312 Because Mama likes to both wham and bam. 287 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:00,900 He says it's different. 288 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:05,029 He's tired of the lifestyle, and he's looking to settle down. 289 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,990 Tired of the lifestyle? He's a player, not a vegan. 290 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,786 Well done! 291 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,539 Tybalt's never died quite so violently. 292 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:20,127 Okay, um, act one, scene five. 293 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:21,587 The Dance. 294 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,880 Ooh, dancing! 295 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,673 I bet this Juliet can twerk! 296 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:31,055 Uh... actually, I think I might need to be on vocal rest today. 297 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,766 Darn it! 298 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,644 I... I... I guess Walt's understudy will have to step in. 299 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,270 Yes, the show must go on. 300 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,229 Marisol? 301 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:42,149 What? I'm not Juliet's understudy. 302 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:47,029 I already said how I feel about the lame, rich chick who needs a man to define her. 303 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,573 Yes, you did, which struck me as odd. 304 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:53,619 Finally, someone else striking people as odd! 305 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:56,871 Marisol 306 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:01,835 you believe in defying the rules of a patriarchal society, right? 307 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,546 Just the stupid rules. 308 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,465 So, yeah, all of them. 309 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:10,678 All right, well, guess what character shares those same beliefs? 310 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,888 Yo, not Lord Montague. 311 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,183 I mean, you think a brother wearing tights would be more evolved, but... 312 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,768 Oh, it's Juliet! 313 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,479 Uh, she disobeys her parents. She refuses to marry Paris. 314 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:24,233 She wants to marry Mikey. I mean... I mean, Romeo. I mean, Romeo. 315 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,276 Yes. Good, Mr. Guiterrez. 316 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,906 What could be more radical, dare I say, feminist, 317 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,282 than Juliet's behavior? 318 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,993 That's how I was gonna play her. 319 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,330 Marisol, if you're saying you're too nervous to play the role, 320 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,873 I'll understand. 321 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,417 Marisol, nervous? 322 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,711 Yeah, right, and a Brazilian doesn't itch. 323 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,470 But if you're refusing on feminist grounds, 324 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,848 huh, well, that's unfair to Shakespeare. 325 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,516 It's unfair to Juliet! 326 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,479 I've never backed down from a challenge. 327 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:05,816 So here we are 328 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,985 getting out of my chair 329 00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,364 legs supporting my weight 330 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,410 center stage, 331 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,039 and challenge. 332 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,833 Marisol, I don't expect you to be off-script. 333 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:25,669 Just focus on the emotions. 334 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,131 Okay. Um... 335 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:34,470 "For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch. 336 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,431 And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." 337 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,559 Have not saints lips, and the holy palmers too? 338 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:46,815 Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer. 339 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,069 Oh, boy! 340 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,280 Is this PG-13? 341 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,866 Because I'm not allowed to watch those, okay? 342 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:03,457 O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. 343 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,712 Brava! Brava! 344 00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:09,963 Ha ha! 345 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,298 Very good! 346 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:14,927 Yo, it was about to be great! 347 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,387 Their lips were gonna do what hands do, man! 348 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,849 The star-crossed lovers have been cast! 349 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,313 - Hey, you owe me, Bro-meo. - Yeah! 350 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,525 Mikey! 351 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,527 Uh... 352 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,615 You know all the times I've helped you in school? 353 00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:39,118 I remember every time you've talked to me since third grade. 354 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:45,124 Good, 'cause I might need your help with this. 355 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,322 Oh, I can't believe that I finally get to say this, but... 356 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,586 I got you. 357 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,302 Oh, yeah. 358 00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,055 Biggy and Smalls back in the game. 359 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,891 Come on, bro. Is this getting you a little nostalgic? 360 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,477 Well, yeah, for all the times we got rejected 361 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,522 then ended up drying our tears with pancakes at Denny's. 362 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,233 Exactly, the good old days. 363 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:13,442 Come on, man, focus. 364 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,029 We need to find Winslow and see if maybe he's a changed man. 365 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,489 That would be devastating. 366 00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,491 Not for Paula. 367 00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:23,871 - Ooh, ooh, there he is. - Oh, come on. 368 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,919 Uh, excuse me, are... aren't you the basketball coach over at Lakewood? 369 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,172 Well, they call me Coach, but you know, sometimes, 370 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,048 those kids teach me more than I teach them. 371 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:35,966 Hmm. 372 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,260 Hey, that's what my friend here says about his students! 373 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,345 - Yeah. - Ah, Wilson. You're a teacher? 374 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,263 Mm-hmm. 375 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,866 I really appreciate what you guys do every day. 376 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,141 Wow! 377 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,602 - I think our work here is done. - Yeah. 378 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,022 I'd offer you a seat, but I'm expecting someone. 379 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,232 - Hot date? - Yeah, a real nice lady. 380 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,067 - Mmm. - Hopefully not too nice. 381 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:58,780 You'll have to forgive my friend here, he's a... a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of guy. 382 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,366 - Yeah. I used to be that way. - Used to be? 383 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,951 And I still am! 384 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,536 Ooh! 385 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,414 - Yeah! - Oh, you mean, you're not a changed man? 386 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,249 Why would I change? 387 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,044 I'm undefeated, and she's running late. 388 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,631 I don't know if she's hot enough to keep Wham Bam waiting. 389 00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,591 Great use of the third person. 390 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,051 Tony approves. 391 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,138 Well, Gabe does not approve, okay? 392 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,058 And for the record, Paula's fine enough to make any man wait. 393 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,309 Wait, hold on. You know her? 394 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,852 Yeah! She's a good friend of mine. 395 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,979 She just texted me that she's not coming. 396 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,982 What? Oh, man, if I'm gonna keep this streak alive, 397 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,485 I... better hustle on down to the Pizza Hut in Norwalk. 398 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,820 My side piece, she gets off at eight. 399 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,197 Do me a favor. 400 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,990 Tell your friend it's over. 401 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,409 Hey, she broke up with you! 402 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,537 And for the record, last time you played Wilson, you barely beat us! 403 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:50,999 Man! 404 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,751 He really is a legend. 405 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,854 Hey, I'm gonna go catch up to him and get some advice. 406 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,631 I gotta stay and wait for Paula so she knows she wasn't stood up. 407 00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,384 But Paula already texted and canceled. We're good. 408 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,594 Dude... I made that up. 409 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:07,766 Check out the big brain on Mr. Iglesias. 410 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,059 I gotta go. 411 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:14,814 Abby! 412 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,858 What the hell are you doing here? 413 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,610 Oh, I can't help it, Paula. 414 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,153 I love love! 415 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:23,782 I just wanted to see what was happening. 416 00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:26,660 I don't want Coach Winslow to see us next to each other. 417 00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:29,162 Then he's gonna think I really can't reach anything! 418 00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,207 Oh, he won't see us together. He already left. 419 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,750 Wait, he left? 420 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,043 That's rude! 421 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,963 What man leaves when a woman is barely 30 minutes late? 422 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,466 Well, it looked like Gabe told him to leave. 423 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,175 Gabe? 424 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,178 Unless he has a twin brother, 425 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:47,472 who's wearing the same outfit Gabe was wearing today, 426 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,309 who also knows Tony... it's probably Gabe. 427 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,061 Oh, great. 428 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,689 I did not wedge myself into Cinderella stilettos 429 00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:57,482 to be hanging out all night with Gabe. 430 00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,902 Sugar snap peas and rice! Don't you see what's happening? 431 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,155 You're yelling Lean Cuisines? 432 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:04,448 No! 433 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,285 Paula, who told you to delete your dating apps? 434 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,369 Gabe. 435 00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:11,830 And who told you not to go out with Coach Winslow? 436 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:12,956 Gabe. 437 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,335 And who came down here and scared off Coach Winslow? 438 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,087 You seem to be pinning everything on Gabe. 439 00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:21,631 Don't you see? 440 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,508 Gabe is in love with you. 441 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,554 Oh, my God! 442 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:30,974 Gabe has been laying the groundwork to get me. 443 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,022 Aww! 444 00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:39,066 Gosh, it's so romantic. 445 00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:43,028 Abby, it's only romantic when both people feel the same way. 446 00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,821 Are you and Tony romantic? 447 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,573 Okay, now I get it. 448 00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:52,788 Oh, but Gabe has such a tender heart. Promise you'll let him down gently? 449 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:56,500 I know how sensitive he is, 450 00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:59,378 and how devastating I can be. 451 00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,214 Okay. 452 00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,297 What are you doing? 453 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:06,802 Girl, I'm changing my shoes. This is gonna be uncomfortable enough. 454 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,012 - Oh, yes. - Yeah, hold on. Oh, these Spanx. 455 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,098 - Are you okay? All right. - Mm-hmm. 456 00:23:12,974 --> 00:23:16,144 And I was like, "Whoa, that is an emergency, Coach Winslow!" 457 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,979 And then he ran like the wind... 458 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:24,319 Which is too bad because, you know, he was so excited to meet you. 459 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:27,656 Wow, that was some story. 460 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,658 Yeah, I... I know! 461 00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:32,411 And I saw the whole thing happening 'cause I was here, 462 00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:33,912 you know, by coincidence. 463 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:38,875 Gabe, I know the real reason Coach Winslow isn't here. 464 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,836 - You do? - I do. 465 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,130 I heard everything you said, 466 00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:45,757 but I should've read between the lines. 467 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,843 Hey, don't beat yourself up. 468 00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:48,969 Well 469 00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:52,097 I was pretty dense, but it's going to be okay. 470 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:01,314 Nice manicure. 471 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,277 Is that cobalt blue? 472 00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:09,322 You know how much you mean to me, right, Gabe? 473 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:13,201 And you know how much you mean to me too, Paula! 474 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,872 You sweet boy, I sure do. 475 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:18,707 Ooh! 476 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:21,960 Jenga! 477 00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:27,257 Ooh! 478 00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:31,386 You are so funny, Gabe! That's what I love about you. 479 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:34,598 And... And you're so, uh, smart and beautiful and... 480 00:24:34,681 --> 00:24:36,224 - Powerful. - Uh, yeah! 481 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,642 - Successful. - Oh, very. 482 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,853 - And wise. - Beyond your years. 483 00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,191 That is why I understand what is happening here. 484 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:45,692 Right! 485 00:24:45,775 --> 00:24:48,445 Uh... one friend who cares about the other, 486 00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:51,656 making sure she doesn't get hurt. 487 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,285 And one friend who cares about the other, 488 00:24:55,368 --> 00:24:58,413 making sure he doesn't get hurt. 489 00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,498 He? 490 00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:06,545 Who's he? 491 00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:08,757 - He is you. - Me? 492 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,550 - Yeah, you. - Couldn't be. 493 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:13,803 What's happening? 494 00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:18,016 You're obviously in love with me. 495 00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:36,034 All the... All of this with the... 496 00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:41,790 It's not that funny, Gabe! 497 00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:44,042 Oh, come on, Paula. 498 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:47,087 Paula, what... What would make you think that? 499 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,839 It's less of a what, and more of a who! 500 00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:57,096 You know, 501 00:25:57,806 --> 00:26:02,018 she probably shouldn't be in my inner circle of romantic advisers. 502 00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:03,478 Or outer circle. 503 00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:07,983 So you came all the way down here 504 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:11,861 and risked getting your ass kicked to keep me from being hurt? 505 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,655 We would've been okay. 506 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:16,575 You know, I'm a grappler, and Tony's a biter. 507 00:26:18,118 --> 00:26:20,537 You are a good friend. 508 00:26:21,621 --> 00:26:22,956 Woo! 509 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,500 See? Everybody's always complaining about the friend zone. 510 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,043 The friend zone is great! 511 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,127 - Yeah. - Yeah! 512 00:26:28,169 --> 00:26:32,007 Way better than a one-night stand with a Wham Bam Winslow, right? 513 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:37,095 Yeah, uh, what you said. Uh... 514 00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:39,972 Gabe, 515 00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:43,351 if I am going to be brave enough 516 00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,979 - to not date for a bit... - Mm-hmm? 517 00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:50,525 Then I want you to find the courage to just dive back in. 518 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,409 There's a really special woman 519 00:26:52,485 --> 00:26:55,488 who's being deprived of an awful lot of goodness. 520 00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:59,242 Yeah, well, her name must be Waldo 'cause she's hard to find. 521 00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:04,414 Thank you, Paula. 522 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:07,167 I'll think about it. 523 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:09,002 Thank you, Gabe. 524 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:13,423 I did have fun when I deleted those apps. 525 00:27:13,506 --> 00:27:16,176 Wish I could delete some apps right now. 526 00:27:17,093 --> 00:27:18,136 Potato skins? 527 00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:21,473 Hell, I ain't on a date. 528 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:25,185 Buffalo wings and extra ranch! 529 00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:27,354 Yes! 530 00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:29,314 Maybe we are soulmates.