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‎NETFLIX 剧集

2
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‎放过它吧

3
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‎-别这样！
‎-说来听听

4
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‎托尼 真是的

5
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‎只是讨论罢了

6
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‎你说“神”
‎但是你觉得神到底是什么呢？

7
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‎我不知道神到底是什么

8
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‎但是我信仰一些东西

9
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‎模糊 很模糊

10
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‎我们死后当然是有去处的

11
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‎也许天堂就像一个平静的梦什么的

12
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‎我不知道 你也不知道

13
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‎我大概会去另一个地方

14
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‎反正我希望这样

15
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‎更好玩

16
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‎在下面可以喝酒、乱来

17
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‎对 不过你不一定会喜欢乱来的方式

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‎基本上你会成为撒但的婊子

19
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‎他从后面干你的时候
‎你会说什么呢 爸？

20
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‎-同性恋
‎-对 要他好看

21
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‎好姑娘

22
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‎好

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‎来吧

24
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‎这是它的爪爪签名

25
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‎谢谢

26
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‎-布莱恩说什么了吗？
‎-嗯 他说了

27
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‎-好的
‎-嗯

28
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‎他说我不应该继续当饭桶

29
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‎应该像个男人的样子

30
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‎对 所以我给了萝西最后通牒

31
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‎我说要不就继续做鸡
‎要不就和我在一起

32
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‎嗯

33
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‎她选择了继续做鸡 很明显

34
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‎真遗憾

35
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‎我年轻 自由 而且又恢复了单身

36
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‎所以我在想

37
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‎你想不想一起找妞干？

38
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‎不想？好吧

39
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‎-回头见
‎-回头见

40
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‎再见

41
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‎你好！

42
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‎你好 我给你送一份报纸来

43
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‎看我的脸好傻啊！

44
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‎“难以置信”

45
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‎很不错啊 要不要喝杯茶？

46
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‎不用了 谢谢 能借用你的厕所吗？

47
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‎穿过厨房 在后门旁边

48
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‎谢谢 马上就好

49
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‎（难以置信）

50
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‎你干什么？

51
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‎呃

52
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‎把这张照片拿来放这里

53
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‎这是我和丽莎小时候的照片
‎我之前没抽时间找

54
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‎我知道这里应该算是你的地方

55
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‎我以为你是来找一个好位置

56
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‎因为你的心脏已经很弱了

57
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‎-说得好
‎-谢谢

58
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‎（丽莎简约翰逊）

59
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‎承认你是好人没事的 托尼

60
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‎-这不是弱点
‎-对

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‎我觉得

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‎你一向很关心别人
‎只是用你自己的方式罢了

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‎你总是希望别人更舒服、更开心

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‎你只是喜欢戳别人

65
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‎直到别人开始思考

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‎如果不被整死 就会变得更强大

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‎我就像疫苗一样

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‎更像是真的很讨人厌的病毒

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‎对

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‎-好的
‎-回头见

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‎-回头见
‎-上班别迟到

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‎肯定迟到

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‎我知道

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‎-你好
‎-你好

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‎我今天比你来得早

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‎那是什么照片？

77
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‎是丽莎和她弟弟小时候的照片

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‎他刚放在那里的

79
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‎你是怎么认识斯坦的？

80
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‎当时我和妈妈在度假

81
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‎在一个房车公园

82
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‎我们在一个俱乐部跳舞的时候认识的

83
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‎后来我们去吃晚餐

84
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‎他跟我说了一个黄段子 我没笑

85
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‎让他觉得很难堪

86
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‎50年后 我还是气我自己怎么没笑

87
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‎什么段子？

88
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‎劳斯莱斯和死了的妓女有什么区别？

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‎不知道

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‎我的车库里没进过劳斯莱斯

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‎真有你的 斯坦

92
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‎要是我笑了就好了

93
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‎他肯定不在意

94
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‎对 估计你说得没错

95
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‎马克吐温有一句名言叫什么来着？

96
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‎“我一生担心过很多事
‎其中多数都没发生“

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‎是的

98
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‎你是怎么认识丽莎的？

99
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‎90年代早期

100
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‎我以为自己是作家

101
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‎但其实我在吃低保

102
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‎对外说自己是作家

103
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‎当时丽莎是一名艺术家

104
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‎刚大学毕业
‎她在坦布里集市办了一个小型展览

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‎我到处看 主要是看她

106
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‎她以为我是对她的一件作品感兴趣

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‎于是我说我想买

108
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‎她说：“你怎么付呢？”

109
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‎我心想：“问得好

110
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‎我付不起”

111
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‎于是我说

112
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‎“我可以娶你
‎然后在家里干杂活来抵账“

113
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‎然后我说：“我没钱”

114
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‎她说：“身上没带钱 对吧？”

115
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‎我说：“不是 是根本没钱”

116
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‎然后她意识到 我感兴趣的是她

117
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‎于是她说

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‎“那只能我请你吃饭咯？”

119
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‎就是这样认识的

120
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‎我们出去玩 很合拍

121
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‎我们谈论音乐 等等

122
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‎我们都很喜欢大卫鲍伊

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‎还有琼尼米歇尔

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‎这是她的最爱

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‎我们在婚礼上还放了《一体两面》

126
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‎我当时觉得
‎自己是世界上最幸运的男人

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‎我要是没开玩笑说不存在来世就好了

128
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‎因为我想她在心底
‎是想要相信存在天堂、天使那些东西

129
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‎希望她当时不…

130
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‎希望她当时不害怕

131
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‎她只想要有你陪她到最后

132
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‎对了 而且确实有天使

133
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‎没有翅膀 也不住在云间

134
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‎而是穿着护士制服 辛苦工作付房租

135
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‎有些为慈善组织工作
‎因为无法置他人危难于不顾

136
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‎有些有四条腿 还会叫

137
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‎但不论他们是什么样子
‎都是拯救生命的

138
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‎有时候你会遇见他们

139
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‎比如丽莎

140
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‎还有斯坦

141
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‎你会和他们结婚

142
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‎我知道丽莎和斯坦现在不是天使

143
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‎但他们曾经是

144
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‎要当天使的话 要趁自己还活着

145
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‎当好人 做好事

146
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‎给好男人介绍孤独的女人

147
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‎你是我的天使 托尼

148
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‎不好说啊

149
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‎（为新的蓝知更鸟屋筹款）

150
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‎好的

151
00:10:38,203 --> 00:10:40,083
‎你为什么剃了光头？

152
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‎因为我姐姐治疗癌症的时候头发掉了

153
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‎现在我们的样子又一样了

154
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‎没错

155
00:10:49,723 --> 00:10:53,203
‎-你为什么要和姐姐样子一样？
‎-因为她很可爱

156
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‎没错 我觉得你也很可爱

157
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‎她得到了赞助
‎帮我筹集了1200镑来帮助我

158
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‎太棒了 1200镑

159
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‎好的 请告诉我你们的名字
‎要写到报纸上去

160
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‎这样大家都知道你们多棒了

161
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‎-我叫米莉
‎-米莉

162
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‎我叫丽莎

163
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‎丽莎

164
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‎我妻子也叫这个名字

165
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‎她在哪里？

166
00:11:31,243 --> 00:11:32,923
‎她在家

167
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:36,043
‎-给你做晚餐？
‎-是的

168
00:11:38,403 --> 00:11:39,483
‎你怎么哭了？

169
00:11:39,563 --> 00:11:41,003
‎因为我开心啊

170
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‎-开心为什么要哭？
‎-因为我是疯子

171
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‎我们能拍一张照片吗？

172
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‎微笑

173
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‎非常好

174
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‎今天就到这里

175
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‎谢谢 再见

176
00:12:01,283 --> 00:12:02,483
‎你在做化疗吗？

177
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‎没有

178
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‎他掉头发
‎是因为30年来只吃薯片和饼干

179
00:12:11,403 --> 00:12:13,003
‎我要是能只吃这些就好了

180
00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:15,603
‎对 但这样的话 你的头发就会长回来

181
00:12:15,683 --> 00:12:19,123
‎但是兰尼只会变得越来越秃

182
00:12:19,203 --> 00:12:21,243
‎这甚至还不是他最糟糕的特征

183
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,083
‎你觉得他像史莱克吗？

184
00:12:23,163 --> 00:12:25,363
‎-不过他是你的朋友
‎-没错

185
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,403
‎没错 人长什么样子不重要

186
00:12:28,923 --> 00:12:31,483
‎内在才重要

187
00:12:31,563 --> 00:12:34,283
‎我们都知道 兰尼的内在

188
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‎只有一堆薯片和饼干

189
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‎你会再来吗？

190
00:12:41,483 --> 00:12:42,603
‎我不知道

191
00:12:43,243 --> 00:12:44,083
‎好吧

192
00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:47,723
‎-为什么这么问？
‎-你很风趣

193
00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:48,843
‎是嘛？

194
00:12:51,523 --> 00:12:53,803
‎好的 我会来给你打招呼

195
00:12:53,883 --> 00:12:54,763
‎明天吗？

196
00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:58,323
‎-好的
‎-后天呢？

197
00:13:00,643 --> 00:13:02,843
‎我会每天来 直到你开始康复

198
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,883
‎或者直到我上天堂？

199
00:13:09,803 --> 00:13:11,203
‎你相信有天堂吗？

200
00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:18,883
‎肯定有

201
00:13:24,883 --> 00:13:25,723
‎又是我

202
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,683
‎说实话 要说的话也快说完了

203
00:13:29,203 --> 00:13:32,403
‎找到一首诗 能说出我想说的话

204
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,563
‎不要站在我墓前哭泣

205
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:40,323
‎我不在 我不睡

206
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‎我是千屡风

207
00:13:43,483 --> 00:13:45,363
‎我是晶莹雪

208
00:13:46,483 --> 00:13:48,643
‎我是成熟谷粒上的阳光

209
00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:51,003
‎我是秋天雨水中的轻柔

210
00:13:52,603 --> 00:13:54,563
‎当你在清晨宁静中醒来

211
00:13:55,363 --> 00:14:00,363
‎我是轻盈的鸟儿盘旋飞翔

212
00:14:01,443 --> 00:14:03,403
‎我是夜里微微的星光

213
00:14:05,883 --> 00:14:08,163
‎不要站在我墓前哭泣

214
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:10,843
‎我不在

215
00:14:11,443 --> 00:14:12,363
‎我未逝

216
00:14:16,403 --> 00:14:17,883
‎我要你享受生活

217
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:24,883
‎我不要你担心钱或是担心我

218
00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:28,323
‎担心你自己就好了 好吗？

219
00:14:29,163 --> 00:14:30,083
‎要幸福

220
00:14:31,723 --> 00:14:32,683
‎要善良

221
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‎做自己 托尼

222
00:14:49,563 --> 00:14:50,403
‎这是什么？

223
00:14:53,603 --> 00:14:56,363
‎噢 托尼 这我不能接受

224
00:14:56,443 --> 00:14:57,643
‎她是你姐

225
00:14:58,723 --> 00:14:59,803
‎我知道 但是…

226
00:14:59,883 --> 00:15:00,803
‎你也失去了她

227
00:15:01,763 --> 00:15:03,963
‎我以为不在乎是一种超能力

228
00:15:04,483 --> 00:15:05,363
‎我想错了

229
00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:07,123
‎在乎

230
00:15:07,683 --> 00:15:09,243
‎才是最重要的

231
00:15:09,763 --> 00:15:13,043
‎善良 让别人觉得舒服

232
00:15:14,203 --> 00:15:15,483
‎这才是真正的超能力

233
00:15:16,203 --> 00:15:17,203
‎我们都有这种超能力

234
00:15:18,443 --> 00:15:19,283
‎有时候

235
00:15:21,243 --> 00:15:22,083
‎我感到快乐

236
00:15:22,603 --> 00:15:24,123
‎不是正常人的那种快乐

237
00:15:24,643 --> 00:15:29,563
‎不是我以前感到的那种快乐
‎当时我并没有珍惜

238
00:15:29,643 --> 00:15:31,643
‎而是一种满足

239
00:15:32,203 --> 00:15:37,043
‎是一种流遍我全身的感觉
‎觉得世界挺好

240
00:15:37,123 --> 00:15:39,243
‎说实话 人生很他妈精彩

241
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:44,163
‎能和丽莎生活在同一个时代
‎我是多么幸运啊？

242
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:46,163
‎和她一起生活

243
00:15:46,963 --> 00:15:47,803
‎把我的爱都给她

244
00:15:48,763 --> 00:15:50,843
‎之后一切都分崩离析

245
00:15:50,923 --> 00:15:52,723
‎我记得她去世的时候 我孤独一人

246
00:15:53,323 --> 00:15:54,403
‎我想赶紧去死

247
00:15:57,803 --> 00:15:59,363
‎这一切都发生在转瞬之间

248
00:16:00,003 --> 00:16:01,523
‎但又持续不断

249
00:16:02,123 --> 00:16:04,243
‎然而今天在福利院

250
00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:07,123
‎我见到了一个小孩

251
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,603
‎那么可爱 天真无邪

252
00:16:13,603 --> 00:16:15,043
‎我自己的问题…

253
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:18,883
‎全都暂时放下了

254
00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:20,003
‎问题还在

255
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,483
‎但是他成了我的问题

256
00:16:24,203 --> 00:16:30,523
‎这似乎停止了那种落入黑暗的循环

257
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,443
‎因为我有了目标

258
00:16:34,563 --> 00:16:35,403
‎感觉就好像

259
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,963
‎如果那个孩子活下去
‎那我也会活下去

260
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,043
‎谢谢

261
00:16:50,803 --> 00:16:51,763
‎结婚礼物

262
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,163
‎我操！真的？

263
00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:56,523
‎好慷慨啊！

264
00:16:57,723 --> 00:16:58,723
‎你还好吗 凯思？

265
00:16:59,443 --> 00:17:01,803
‎嗯 今晚去练大笑瑜伽

266
00:17:02,843 --> 00:17:05,763
‎我现在就是这样 去上课学习笑

267
00:17:07,763 --> 00:17:09,523
‎这给你找一个好一点的公寓

268
00:17:11,483 --> 00:17:13,203
‎-噢 谢谢！
‎-没事

269
00:17:13,923 --> 00:17:15,283
‎对不起 我…

270
00:17:15,362 --> 00:17:16,362
‎没想到会有这种事

271
00:18:15,523 --> 00:18:18,123
‎各位 今天来了一位新成员
‎不好意思 你叫什么名字？

272
00:18:18,203 --> 00:18:21,523
‎-凯思
‎-凯思 好的 凯思 松弛一下

273
00:18:22,043 --> 00:18:23,843
‎让笑骨抖起来

274
00:18:24,483 --> 00:18:25,323
‎好的

275
00:18:26,403 --> 00:18:28,323
‎大大的微笑 来吧

276
00:18:29,363 --> 00:18:30,723
‎好

277
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:32,563
‎热爱生活

278
00:18:37,363 --> 00:18:39,283
‎感到内啡肽在起作用了吧？

279
00:18:42,883 --> 00:18:45,163
‎好笑的旧世界

280
00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:48,523
‎不好意思 大家等一下

281
00:18:48,603 --> 00:18:50,083
‎你能不能来大笑一下？

282
00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:02,243
‎我很孤独

283
00:19:06,763 --> 00:19:09,883
‎你还是先走吧
‎这里整个气氛会被你带下去

284
00:20:06,483 --> 00:20:09,323
‎（坦布里集市 500周年！）

285
00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:16,243
‎-你好
‎-你好！

286
00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:18,443
‎这是杰克

287
00:20:18,523 --> 00:20:19,363
‎-你好
‎-你好

288
00:20:19,443 --> 00:20:20,803
‎这是托尼

289
00:20:21,523 --> 00:20:22,363
‎是我的朋友

290
00:20:23,563 --> 00:20:24,723
‎永远都是

291
00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:28,683
‎-幸会
‎-幸会

292
00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:30,723
‎-回头见
‎-再见

293
00:20:30,803 --> 00:20:31,643
‎来

294
00:20:45,683 --> 00:20:46,843
‎（坦布里集市）

295
00:20:58,323 --> 00:20:59,963
‎好！厉害！

296
00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,043
‎你好

297
00:21:05,483 --> 00:21:06,443
‎你还好吗？

298
00:21:06,523 --> 00:21:07,403
‎嗯

299
00:21:08,843 --> 00:21:09,923
‎非常好

300
00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:12,123
‎太好了

301
00:21:13,123 --> 00:21:15,723
‎我可不能再失去一个好男人了

302
00:21:16,883 --> 00:21:17,883
‎对了

303
00:21:19,763 --> 00:21:20,963
‎谢谢你

304
00:21:22,483 --> 00:21:23,323
‎不客气

305
00:21:24,203 --> 00:21:26,043
‎回头见 走吧 姑娘

306
00:21:27,843 --> 00:21:30,563
‎“巴纳比医生推开手术室门

307
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:32,803
‎他走在走廊里

308
00:21:32,883 --> 00:21:35,803
‎看见一位
‎年轻美丽的非洲加勒比裔护士在哭

309
00:21:36,403 --> 00:21:38,883
‎她做了直发 所以看起来像碧昂丝

310
00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:42,323
‎‘怎么了 护士？你怎么哭了？’

311
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,123
‎‘因为种族歧视 医生’

312
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:46,643
‎‘种族歧视？

313
00:21:47,563 --> 00:21:48,643
‎我厌恶种族歧视

314
00:21:49,403 --> 00:21:50,763
‎我认为我们都是平等的

315
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,603
‎评判一个人 应当根据其品格

316
00:21:52,683 --> 00:21:54,243
‎而不是根据其肤色

317
00:21:55,683 --> 00:21:59,123
‎我曾经和一位中国女士做爱
‎她的眼睛很美’”

318
00:21:59,203 --> 00:22:00,323
‎我很喜欢

319
00:22:01,043 --> 00:22:01,883
‎喜欢这个集市？

320
00:22:02,923 --> 00:22:04,923
‎大家都一起来这里待上几个小时

321
00:22:05,523 --> 00:22:07,883
‎交换想法、菜谱和垃圾

322
00:22:07,963 --> 00:22:10,443
‎留下回忆和照片

323
00:22:11,843 --> 00:22:14,123
‎我爸曾说过
‎人生就像在游乐园坐过山车

324
00:22:14,203 --> 00:22:16,403
‎惊险刺激 稍纵即逝

325
00:22:17,123 --> 00:22:18,883
‎只能坐一圈

326
00:22:20,603 --> 00:22:22,923
‎非常兴奋 都快受不了了

327
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:27,243
‎然后它慢下来
‎你看见别人在等着上车

328
00:22:28,363 --> 00:22:29,483
‎你得下车让位

329
00:22:50,243 --> 00:22:52,163
‎-圣诞快乐 孩子！
‎-小心！

330
00:22:52,243 --> 00:22:53,923
‎拜托 各位 这是孩子们玩的

331
00:22:54,003 --> 00:22:56,683
‎-砰！日进去了！
‎-别欺负小孩！

332
00:22:56,763 --> 00:22:58,643
‎-那你上！
‎-这不…

333
00:22:58,723 --> 00:23:01,443
‎你去守门 我们当着你儿子的面来！

334
00:23:01,523 --> 00:23:04,243
‎-我不是这个意思
‎-看看你多弱鸡

335
00:23:04,323 --> 00:23:05,963
‎当着你孩子的面 来！

336
00:23:06,523 --> 00:23:07,843
‎来啊 大人

337
00:23:08,883 --> 00:23:11,243
‎-要当着你孩子的面来吗？
‎-哎

338
00:23:11,843 --> 00:23:12,963
‎太近了

339
00:23:14,443 --> 00:23:15,523
‎这…

340
00:23:18,283 --> 00:23:21,203
‎-白痴！
‎-“你不太会踢球吧？”

341
00:23:24,443 --> 00:23:25,523
‎我太烂了

342
00:23:25,603 --> 00:23:27,763
‎我不觉得站出来打抱不平狠烂

343
00:23:27,843 --> 00:23:29,083
‎-你说呢 乔治？
‎-没错

344
00:23:29,683 --> 00:23:30,523
‎你是我的英雄

345
00:23:31,683 --> 00:23:32,603
‎而且你扑出了一个

346
00:23:32,683 --> 00:23:34,723
‎-没错
‎-肯定扑出了一个

347
00:23:34,803 --> 00:23:36,803
‎-爸爸很会踢球
‎-用屁股挡出去的 不过…

348
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,123
‎哎 还记得我吗？

349
00:23:40,883 --> 00:23:42,523
‎噢 记得 狗屎侠

350
00:23:42,603 --> 00:23:44,403
‎漫威错失了一个超级英雄

351
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:47,203
‎-你还是拒绝谈恋爱？
‎-没有

352
00:23:48,003 --> 00:23:50,443
‎没有 我改变主意了 我现在很迫切

353
00:23:51,043 --> 00:23:51,883
‎我是来找妞的

354
00:23:52,403 --> 00:23:53,243
‎无意冒犯

355
00:23:53,323 --> 00:23:55,843
‎而且并不是要找你 我可配不上你

356
00:23:55,923 --> 00:23:57,603
‎我不是性别歧视 不过…

357
00:23:57,683 --> 00:24:00,203
‎-你说得都很好啊
‎-真的？

358
00:24:00,283 --> 00:24:01,323
‎没错

359
00:24:01,963 --> 00:24:05,563
‎迫切 奉承 乞求 这不都很可爱吗？

360
00:24:06,763 --> 00:24:08,443
‎我不知该说什么好了

361
00:24:09,403 --> 00:24:12,803
‎我说实话 在过去的一年半中
‎我失去了以前的魅力

362
00:24:13,643 --> 00:24:15,443
‎但是有女性
‎特别是你这样层次的女性

363
00:24:15,523 --> 00:24:16,683
‎会考虑和我在一起

364
00:24:16,763 --> 00:24:19,003
‎我真是太高兴了

365
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:19,923
‎但是你要知道

366
00:24:21,403 --> 00:24:23,923
‎我没有以前那么猛了

367
00:24:24,443 --> 00:24:25,523
‎不过性冲动是有的

368
00:24:26,043 --> 00:24:29,563
‎我心想：“自己爽一下吧”
‎我上楼 拉上窗帘

369
00:24:29,643 --> 00:24:32,603
‎然后准备撸一发

370
00:24:33,123 --> 00:24:36,603
‎几分钟之后
‎我心想：“哎 还是算了吧”

371
00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:40,803
‎我记得楼下有一块熟切达干酪
‎和一个脆皮面包

372
00:24:41,483 --> 00:24:42,763
‎-这是前戏吗？
‎-哎

373
00:24:43,643 --> 00:24:45,003
‎-不用谈感情
‎-没错

374
00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:49,323
‎只要丑陋不堪、大汗淋漓地做爱

375
00:24:49,403 --> 00:24:52,123
‎那找我就对了
‎其实我现在已经开始流汗了

376
00:24:52,203 --> 00:24:54,083
‎-而且你很丑
‎-但我也有感觉

377
00:24:54,683 --> 00:24:55,523
‎好吗？

378
00:24:57,643 --> 00:24:58,963
‎-回头见
‎-再见

379
00:24:59,963 --> 00:25:02,003
‎-那你喜欢什么样的性爱？
‎-我喜欢快

380
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:03,363
‎-快？
‎-对

381
00:25:03,443 --> 00:25:04,283
‎继续

382
00:25:05,363 --> 00:25:08,203
‎就差一点！
‎祝你下次运气更好一点 再见！

383
00:25:08,283 --> 00:25:09,323
‎回头见 兄弟

384
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:11,363
‎大家好像都玩得很开心

385
00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:13,403
‎-是啊 今天很不错
‎-没错

386
00:25:13,483 --> 00:25:16,843
‎他在这里 笨蛋精灵鸡鸡
‎你演的是什么？

387
00:25:17,403 --> 00:25:18,523
‎-宫廷小丑
‎-宫廷小丑？

388
00:25:18,603 --> 00:25:20,163
‎更像他妈猥亵者

389
00:25:20,243 --> 00:25:21,403
‎宫廷小丑猥亵者！

390
00:25:21,483 --> 00:25:23,483
‎圣诞老人的小婊子

391
00:25:24,563 --> 00:25:25,883
‎别欺负他

392
00:25:27,163 --> 00:25:29,363
‎屋顶上的恋童癖开口了

393
00:25:29,443 --> 00:25:31,803
‎真他妈的 你让我们别欺负孩子？

394
00:25:31,883 --> 00:25:35,403
‎-应该是你不应该欺负孩子
‎-他妈的小混蛋

395
00:25:35,483 --> 00:25:36,563
‎-猪！
‎-小混蛋

396
00:25:36,643 --> 00:25:38,883
‎把你的屁股坐他脸上 亵童犯

397
00:25:38,963 --> 00:25:41,963
‎-不要 别把你的屁股坐…
‎-看看 人体蜈蚣！

398
00:25:42,043 --> 00:25:45,883
‎我绕过来干他后门
‎让他变他妈人体弯蜈蚣

399
00:25:45,963 --> 00:25:47,403
‎噢 他喜欢这样

400
00:25:47,483 --> 00:25:50,403
‎清理一下 你饿吗？
‎我中午吃了甜玉米

401
00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:53,683
‎-真的吗？我死了算了
‎-你死了就好了 亲爱的

402
00:25:53,763 --> 00:25:56,203
‎真他妈的 让我们看看你的脚
‎我快高潮了

403
00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:58,443
‎够了 朋友 行了吧

404
00:26:00,163 --> 00:26:02,683
‎真他妈的 越来越傻了 不是吗？

405
00:26:02,763 --> 00:26:03,603
‎再说一遍 朋友？

406
00:26:03,683 --> 00:26:06,603
‎他妈甜甜圈买一送十吗？

407
00:26:12,483 --> 00:26:13,963
‎你自找的

408
00:26:18,563 --> 00:26:19,883
‎真是的 太糟糕了！

409
00:26:23,763 --> 00:26:24,963
‎行了

410
00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:27,923
‎谢谢

411
00:26:28,763 --> 00:26:31,283
‎又一次这样 我这悲惨的人生

412
00:26:31,363 --> 00:26:32,723
‎我以为已经到了最低谷

413
00:26:32,803 --> 00:26:33,643
‎原来还有更低

414
00:26:37,163 --> 00:26:39,163
‎我想过无数次：“已经到底
‎只能反弹了”

415
00:26:39,243 --> 00:26:40,083
‎并不是这样

416
00:26:40,563 --> 00:26:43,563
‎“你又错了 布莱恩
‎我们给你一个惊喜”

417
00:26:46,723 --> 00:26:50,523
‎在停车场
‎给坦布里足球队的助理主教练吹箫

418
00:26:52,123 --> 00:26:53,843
‎当然是够堕落了吧？

419
00:26:53,923 --> 00:26:55,003
‎不算什么

420
00:26:57,123 --> 00:27:03,043
‎当着我前妻和全镇人的面
‎被干后门才算

421
00:27:04,483 --> 00:27:07,483
‎然后吉普赛人米奇挺身而出
‎成了全场英雄

422
00:27:08,203 --> 00:27:09,243
‎而他现在和我前妻睡

423
00:27:13,963 --> 00:27:14,923
‎给我说一个笑话

424
00:27:22,043 --> 00:27:24,123
‎小姑娘为什么会从秋千上掉下来？

425
00:27:24,763 --> 00:27:26,563
‎-不知道
‎-因为她没手臂

426
00:27:30,123 --> 00:27:31,283
‎很好笑

427
00:27:32,043 --> 00:27:33,403
‎-真的？
‎-真的

428
00:27:34,363 --> 00:27:35,203
‎噢 谢谢

429
00:27:37,003 --> 00:27:40,363
‎你胡子上有东西

430
00:27:40,963 --> 00:27:41,963
‎-嗯
‎-西红柿

431
00:27:42,043 --> 00:27:42,963
‎嗯

432
00:27:46,883 --> 00:27:48,963
‎-要喝一杯咖啡吗？
‎-好啊

433
00:27:50,123 --> 00:27:50,963
‎好

434
00:27:51,043 --> 00:27:51,883
‎我请客

435
00:27:52,723 --> 00:27:53,963
‎-好的
‎-那来吧

436
00:27:54,043 --> 00:27:54,883
‎好的

437
00:27:59,563 --> 00:28:00,923
‎它们很乖吧？

438
00:28:01,523 --> 00:28:02,363
‎什么意思？

439
00:28:02,443 --> 00:28:04,043
‎不是因为不乖才来这里 对吧？

440
00:28:04,123 --> 00:28:06,203
‎没有不好的狗 只有不好的主人

441
00:28:07,283 --> 00:28:09,083
‎你喜欢养狗 对吧？

442
00:28:09,963 --> 00:28:11,083
‎它救了我的命

443
00:28:13,763 --> 00:28:14,883
‎它知道我什么时候难过

444
00:28:15,723 --> 00:28:18,603
‎我总是很难过
‎所以它要弄错也挺难的

445
00:28:19,683 --> 00:28:21,243
‎但是在夜里 当我喝酒的时候

446
00:28:22,603 --> 00:28:23,683
‎它就在旁边

447
00:28:24,763 --> 00:28:25,603
‎守着我

448
00:28:26,563 --> 00:28:29,563
‎它也能在视频里认出丽莎

449
00:28:31,483 --> 00:28:35,963
‎我们坐在那里 想念她
‎有了它 我至少不是孤单一人

450
00:28:38,723 --> 00:28:40,283
‎我不相信有灵魂

451
00:28:41,083 --> 00:28:43,643
‎但是如果真的有 那狗也有

452
00:28:46,003 --> 00:28:47,043
‎它喜欢你

453
00:28:47,123 --> 00:28:48,843
‎-是吧？
‎-噢 是啊

454
00:28:52,443 --> 00:28:53,723
‎能给我养吗？

455
00:28:54,683 --> 00:28:55,843
‎噢 可以啊

456
00:28:55,923 --> 00:28:58,283
‎之前先会有一次家访
‎并要提供具体信息

457
00:29:00,563 --> 00:29:01,403
‎我来填

458
00:29:04,403 --> 00:29:06,963
‎她没事吧？她不是心理不稳定吧？

459
00:29:07,043 --> 00:29:08,123
‎只是有一点孤单

460
00:29:08,643 --> 00:29:11,203
‎只要狗去好人家 我们就放心了

461
00:29:11,803 --> 00:29:15,323
‎她挺好的 你不是说了吗？
‎没有不好的狗 只有不好的主人

462
00:29:15,403 --> 00:29:19,803
‎如果对狗不好 不给它爱 它就会这样

463
00:29:20,483 --> 00:29:23,323
‎如果对它善良 给它希望 它就会很好

464
00:29:24,323 --> 00:29:27,403
‎-对人也是一样
‎-狗吃什么？

465
00:29:28,403 --> 00:29:31,243
‎什么都吃 拖鞋 树枝

466
00:29:31,323 --> 00:29:32,883
‎玩具 呕吐物

467
00:29:35,203 --> 00:29:36,083
‎还有狗粮

468
00:29:36,883 --> 00:29:37,723
‎很容易

469
00:29:39,603 --> 00:29:40,443
‎还好吗？

470
00:29:41,283 --> 00:29:42,843
‎-你好
‎-干嘛呢？

471
00:29:43,523 --> 00:29:44,883
‎凯思要领养一条狗

472
00:29:47,563 --> 00:29:49,683
‎-狗通常不喜欢我
‎-为什么？

473
00:29:49,763 --> 00:29:52,043
‎-因为我的工作
‎-你做什么工作？

474
00:29:53,403 --> 00:29:54,243
‎邮递员

475
00:29:55,723 --> 00:29:57,683
‎-你呢？
‎-我卖广告

476
00:29:57,763 --> 00:29:58,603
‎噢 很好啊

477
00:30:02,523 --> 00:30:03,363
‎好的

478
00:30:08,003 --> 00:30:10,123
‎回头见

479
00:30:10,203 --> 00:30:11,523
‎-回头见
‎-回头见

480
00:31:51,403 --> 00:31:52,683
‎你也下水！

481
00:31:53,323 --> 00:31:55,243
‎来嘛 托尼！

482
00:32:11,003 --> 00:32:12,003
‎托尼！

483
00:32:12,603 --> 00:32:13,443
‎微笑

484
00:34:38,762 --> 00:34:42,883
‎字幕翻译：朱音