1 00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:09,323 ‎NETFLIX 剧集 2 00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:30,163 ‎啊 贱人! 3 00:00:33,003 --> 00:00:34,283 ‎-给我 ‎-不用骂人 4 00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:38,083 ‎给我 这东西太吓人了! 5 00:00:42,363 --> 00:00:44,883 ‎来 走吧 好姑娘 6 00:00:45,843 --> 00:00:47,283 ‎来 好姑娘 7 00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:04,323 ‎-神啊! ‎-白痴! 8 00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:09,243 ‎也许活着还是有点意思的! 9 00:01:09,323 --> 00:01:11,963 ‎-神啊! ‎-这不好玩 搞不好会… 10 00:01:12,043 --> 00:01:13,363 ‎哇 我不同意 11 00:01:13,443 --> 00:01:15,123 ‎-托尼 能请你收拾一下吗? ‎-不能 12 00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:22,283 ‎我的手肘也弄伤了 13 00:01:31,523 --> 00:01:32,803 ‎真他妈的 快开始啊! 14 00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:35,083 ‎我在做伸展运动 ‎我做事喜欢按规矩来 15 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,443 ‎比如说打网球穿白袜 16 00:01:36,523 --> 00:01:38,363 ‎快他妈把球给我 17 00:01:38,443 --> 00:01:40,723 ‎托尼 请注意语言 18 00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:47,043 ‎15比0 19 00:01:52,603 --> 00:01:53,803 ‎加油 马修! 20 00:01:58,123 --> 00:02:00,003 ‎-1比0 ‎-好的 换边 21 00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:01,243 ‎-算球了 ‎-什么? 22 00:02:01,323 --> 00:02:03,083 ‎第一局结束之后就要换边啊 23 00:02:03,163 --> 00:02:05,003 ‎对 为了公平 ‎但现在阳光照着我的眼睛 24 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,363 ‎你个傻逼 是对你有利 25 00:02:06,443 --> 00:02:10,242 ‎在这里能不能请你别老是说脏话? 26 00:02:12,163 --> 00:02:14,003 ‎-真他妈的 ‎-好了 不要… 27 00:02:33,643 --> 00:02:35,083 ‎不是吧! 28 00:02:36,163 --> 00:02:37,083 ‎别这样 29 00:02:38,203 --> 00:02:39,163 ‎别幼稚了 30 00:02:44,203 --> 00:02:45,043 ‎运气不好 31 00:02:45,963 --> 00:02:46,803 ‎打得不错 32 00:02:50,243 --> 00:02:51,363 ‎-看看你 ‎-怎么了? 33 00:02:51,443 --> 00:02:53,203 ‎-太搞笑了 ‎-什么搞笑? 34 00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:54,643 ‎你看起来像马拉多纳 35 00:02:55,763 --> 00:02:57,243 ‎不是80年代时的样子 36 00:02:58,163 --> 00:02:59,363 ‎而是他死之前的样子 37 00:02:59,443 --> 00:03:01,123 ‎-死了之后的样子 ‎-别输了就骂人 38 00:03:01,203 --> 00:03:04,163 ‎(坦布里报) 39 00:03:06,923 --> 00:03:07,763 ‎谁赢了? 40 00:03:08,803 --> 00:03:09,763 ‎他赢了 但是… 41 00:03:09,843 --> 00:03:11,163 ‎-真的? ‎-嗯 42 00:03:11,243 --> 00:03:13,003 ‎显然我不能再去那里了 43 00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:14,403 ‎说的话简直让人没法儿听 44 00:03:14,483 --> 00:03:17,723 ‎不停地飙脏话 ‎在温布尔登的话 会被取消资格 45 00:03:17,803 --> 00:03:19,403 ‎去他妈温布尔登 46 00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:20,883 ‎-我没说错吧? ‎-不算什么 47 00:03:20,963 --> 00:03:23,123 ‎前两天他在咖啡馆 ‎吼一个带小孩的男人 48 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,003 ‎大家都看着 他就叫人家贱人 49 00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:26,563 ‎理由很充分 50 00:03:26,643 --> 00:03:28,203 ‎-为什么? ‎-因为他确实是贱人 51 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,483 ‎永远不要用这个词 52 00:03:31,563 --> 00:03:32,563 ‎显得词汇很匮乏 53 00:03:32,643 --> 00:03:35,203 ‎如果男人用这个词 我马上甩了他 54 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,883 ‎如果他说希特勒是贱人呢? 55 00:03:36,963 --> 00:03:37,963 ‎很适合希特勒 56 00:03:38,603 --> 00:03:40,123 ‎你不介意 对吧? 57 00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:43,563 ‎如果一位女性不喜欢 ‎我不会当着她的面说 58 00:03:44,163 --> 00:03:46,323 ‎所以你在的时候 ‎我要不就得不用这个词 59 00:03:46,403 --> 00:03:48,243 ‎要不就得让你喜欢这个词 60 00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:50,203 ‎我会让你把这个词用好 61 00:03:50,283 --> 00:03:51,963 ‎会改变你的生活 相信我 62 00:03:52,043 --> 00:03:55,203 ‎-你永远不会听到我说这个词 ‎-走着瞧 63 00:03:55,283 --> 00:03:59,523 ‎说到词汇 ‎我安排了和一个老师约会 所以… 64 00:03:59,603 --> 00:04:01,603 ‎很好 他教什么? 65 00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:03,163 ‎不知道 怎么了? 66 00:04:03,803 --> 00:04:08,683 ‎如果是教科学 最好不要说鬼和星座 67 00:04:08,763 --> 00:04:10,523 ‎为什么?这也是科学啊 68 00:04:11,563 --> 00:04:12,923 ‎不是 69 00:04:13,443 --> 00:04:15,003 ‎恰恰相反 相信我 70 00:04:16,803 --> 00:04:18,002 ‎在这里啊 71 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:19,963 ‎还好吗?讲一个笑话 72 00:04:20,483 --> 00:04:23,563 ‎-鸡为什么过马路? ‎-不知道 73 00:04:23,643 --> 00:04:26,403 ‎为了躲避 ‎两个干我老婆的吉普赛人的臭味 74 00:04:28,763 --> 00:04:30,843 ‎早上八点 在西夫韦超市后面 75 00:04:30,923 --> 00:04:32,083 ‎恶心 76 00:04:32,163 --> 00:04:34,323 ‎你为什么总说这种东西给我听? 77 00:04:34,403 --> 00:04:35,683 ‎都不算正经笑话 78 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:37,763 ‎这就成喜剧评论员了? 79 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:39,043 ‎而且这是种族主义 80 00:04:39,123 --> 00:04:40,803 ‎才不是!为什么? 81 00:04:41,403 --> 00:04:43,203 ‎“两个干我老婆的吉普赛人的臭味?” 82 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,883 ‎臭味源自她身上! 83 00:04:44,963 --> 00:04:48,323 ‎用用脑子 她有严重的女性卫生问题 84 00:04:48,403 --> 00:04:51,163 ‎非要我说这么明白吗? ‎我天天得忍受呢! 85 00:04:51,243 --> 00:04:54,443 ‎两个男的很有教养 非常干净 ‎丹尼·理查兹和席德·纳什 86 00:04:54,523 --> 00:04:57,083 ‎俩小伙很不错 臭的是她 87 00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:01,763 ‎我会对她说:“你下面的树丛有味道” 88 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,083 ‎她还是他妈不听 89 00:05:04,243 --> 00:05:06,683 ‎她会说:“如果神要我的鲍鱼有香味 90 00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:08,603 ‎就不会把它放在我屁眼旁边” 91 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,763 ‎我知道你在想什么 ‎你在想:“有道理 布莱恩” 92 00:05:11,843 --> 00:05:12,723 ‎其实并不是 93 00:05:12,803 --> 00:05:15,483 ‎问题不在她的屁眼 你自己想吧 94 00:05:17,763 --> 00:05:18,843 ‎大家早上好 95 00:05:19,723 --> 00:05:20,723 ‎你好 布莱恩 96 00:05:22,603 --> 00:05:23,683 ‎能不能帮我一个忙? 97 00:05:23,763 --> 00:05:24,723 ‎看情况 98 00:05:24,803 --> 00:05:28,123 ‎我的邮递员现在很抑郁 99 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:31,043 ‎他对自己的生活感到很失望 100 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:36,363 ‎我想着如果让他和真正悲惨的人聊聊 101 00:05:37,043 --> 00:05:40,443 ‎这可能让他对自己的情况感觉好一些 102 00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:43,083 ‎-没问题 交给我 ‎-谢谢 103 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,563 ‎我去喝点茶 喝茶时间到 104 00:05:46,403 --> 00:05:47,803 ‎好的 打壁球 105 00:05:47,883 --> 00:05:48,763 ‎-什么? ‎-打壁球 106 00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:52,723 ‎不需要 我已经证明了我的观点 107 00:05:52,803 --> 00:05:54,323 ‎你说得对 我感觉不那么好斗了 108 00:05:54,403 --> 00:05:55,603 ‎-噢 没胆子了? ‎-不是 109 00:05:55,683 --> 00:05:57,243 ‎感觉你像是没胆子了 110 00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:58,923 ‎-不是 ‎-你打壁球吃不消? 111 00:05:59,003 --> 00:06:00,283 ‎-不是 ‎-你以前打过? 112 00:06:00,363 --> 00:06:02,483 ‎本世纪没打过 不过这不是问题 113 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:05,243 ‎太好了 那就没问题 球场见 114 00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:10,123 ‎他什么都赢不了 ‎我不会让这种事发生 115 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,883 ‎不论我得怎么做 我都会确保… 116 00:06:12,963 --> 00:06:14,763 ‎看看 他气坏了 117 00:06:14,843 --> 00:06:17,043 ‎他接受不了 不敢相信我打败了他 118 00:06:24,403 --> 00:06:28,563 ‎你们青梅竹马 后来失去了联络? 119 00:06:28,643 --> 00:06:31,723 ‎对 我们是在1957年认识的 120 00:06:31,803 --> 00:06:35,123 ‎当时我16岁 比尔17岁 121 00:06:35,203 --> 00:06:39,003 ‎我在工厂工作 比尔则是场地管理员 122 00:06:39,083 --> 00:06:43,243 ‎我们在一起一年左右 后来分开了 123 00:06:43,323 --> 00:06:44,723 ‎还记得是为什么吗? 124 00:06:44,803 --> 00:06:46,363 ‎早饭吃了什么我都不记得了! 125 00:06:46,443 --> 00:06:49,563 ‎他酗酒 总是喝醉 126 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,523 ‎-现在不喝了 ‎-我喝 127 00:06:52,363 --> 00:06:54,803 ‎反正我们就算是失去了联络 128 00:06:54,883 --> 00:06:57,883 ‎我们遇见了其他人 也都结了婚 129 00:06:57,963 --> 00:07:01,883 ‎这么多年来 我们应该是遇见过几次 130 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,203 ‎于是当我们发现 ‎我们两个的另一半都去世之后 131 00:07:04,283 --> 00:07:08,083 ‎我们就一起喝了一次茶 ‎然后就又在一起了 132 00:07:08,163 --> 00:07:09,723 ‎心中擦出的火花 永远不会熄灭 133 00:07:09,803 --> 00:07:11,843 ‎我们就不大费周章结婚了 134 00:07:11,923 --> 00:07:13,083 ‎但我是天主教徒 135 00:07:13,163 --> 00:07:15,163 ‎于是我开始对这样的性关系感到愧疚 136 00:07:15,243 --> 00:07:16,083 ‎性关系 137 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,643 ‎好的 婚礼安排在什么时候? 138 00:07:20,883 --> 00:07:23,243 ‎-8月28日 ‎-28日 139 00:07:23,323 --> 00:07:24,963 ‎-8月我也要结婚 ‎-笨蛋 140 00:07:26,403 --> 00:07:30,963 ‎恭喜你们 希望你们幸福美满 141 00:07:31,043 --> 00:07:32,683 ‎希望这次我先走 142 00:07:32,763 --> 00:07:36,083 ‎希望到时候我还来得及找别人! 143 00:07:37,883 --> 00:07:38,723 ‎拍一张照片 144 00:07:40,243 --> 00:07:41,323 ‎微笑 145 00:07:44,523 --> 00:07:45,363 ‎非常好 146 00:07:53,763 --> 00:07:55,283 ‎我是不是不怎么抱丽莎? 147 00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:59,923 ‎你开玩笑吗? ‎我没见过像你们这么相爱的一对 148 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:04,363 ‎不是 她知道我爱她 ‎但是我有没有说出来呢? 149 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,843 ‎有没有总是跟她说? 150 00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:09,923 ‎有啊 周围所有人都看在眼里 ‎她更是心知肚明 151 00:08:11,363 --> 00:08:12,283 ‎好兄弟 152 00:08:12,363 --> 00:08:15,043 ‎我是实话实说 我也希望这样 153 00:08:15,643 --> 00:08:18,123 ‎认识琼是我一生最大的幸运 154 00:08:18,203 --> 00:08:21,083 ‎信不信由你 我没你以为的那么抢手 155 00:08:22,123 --> 00:08:24,083 ‎-你是很好的选择 ‎-真的? 156 00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:26,323 ‎假的 离我远点 ‎你这满身臭汗的软体动物 157 00:08:26,403 --> 00:08:27,643 ‎你刚说我是很好的选择 158 00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:30,763 ‎对 我是说深海钓鱼表演的时候 159 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,923 ‎从海底钓起来一样东西 ‎大家还以为这个物种早就灭绝了 160 00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:39,003 ‎谁都不知道这是什么 就是一团东西 ‎可能是鱼或者鼻涕虫 161 00:08:39,523 --> 00:08:40,842 ‎你这样说话才正常嘛 162 00:08:42,323 --> 00:08:44,163 ‎什么都不可能再回归正常 163 00:08:44,243 --> 00:08:46,043 ‎妈的 我为什么要提着一茬? 164 00:08:46,963 --> 00:08:49,923 ‎以前的正常 ‎是我们喝醉 你睡在沙发上 165 00:08:50,003 --> 00:08:53,483 ‎我们今晚喝酒吧 ‎不喝多 我自己能回家 166 00:08:56,083 --> 00:08:57,203 ‎好的 167 00:09:12,963 --> 00:09:13,803 ‎你好 168 00:09:14,603 --> 00:09:15,803 ‎-你好 ‎-你还好吗? 169 00:09:15,883 --> 00:09:17,323 ‎-嗯 ‎-没事吧? 170 00:09:17,923 --> 00:09:19,283 ‎-嗯 挺好的 ‎-是嘛? 171 00:09:19,883 --> 00:09:20,843 ‎今天天气不错 172 00:09:23,803 --> 00:09:25,883 ‎-听说你心情不太好 ‎-嗯 173 00:09:25,963 --> 00:09:26,803 ‎跟我聊聊 174 00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:30,643 ‎大家都知道萝西是做哪一行的 175 00:09:30,723 --> 00:09:32,803 ‎-我比较尴尬 ‎-尴尬? 176 00:09:32,883 --> 00:09:35,803 ‎我给别人送邮件 ‎那些人很可能搞过她 177 00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:37,643 ‎那还算好的 178 00:09:38,883 --> 00:09:41,723 ‎-什么意思? ‎-如果付钱 也算不上搞 179 00:09:42,243 --> 00:09:43,163 ‎明白我的意思吧? 180 00:09:44,163 --> 00:09:45,003 ‎你想想啊 181 00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:46,803 ‎想象她要做的那些事 182 00:09:47,323 --> 00:09:49,923 ‎传教士体位 传教士体位 183 00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:50,843 ‎腻了 184 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,603 ‎“翻个身 让我看看屁股” 185 00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:56,203 ‎也腻了 186 00:09:56,283 --> 00:09:59,003 ‎“转过来 给我吹 187 00:09:59,083 --> 00:10:01,843 ‎牙齿别咬到 用牙龈” 188 00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:05,123 ‎“非常好 给你 钱拿好 189 00:10:05,203 --> 00:10:07,323 ‎回到你邮递员男友身边去吧” 190 00:10:10,363 --> 00:10:11,283 ‎知道我的意思吧? 191 00:10:13,723 --> 00:10:15,963 ‎听我说 至少她还有钱拿 192 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,563 ‎我老婆以前是免费送 193 00:10:18,643 --> 00:10:21,563 ‎有时候背着我 有时候她让我拍下来 194 00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:24,723 ‎我是什么感受? ‎我在拍 会有什么感受? 195 00:10:25,243 --> 00:10:26,243 ‎觉得自己一文不值 196 00:10:26,323 --> 00:10:28,803 ‎就像吃鸟屎的鼻涕虫 197 00:10:28,883 --> 00:10:31,043 ‎在雨中 等待着被踩 198 00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:33,443 ‎痛苦地死去 199 00:10:34,123 --> 00:10:37,403 ‎我的意思是 ‎不要做我这样一文不值的鼻涕虫 200 00:10:38,403 --> 00:10:39,243 ‎要像个男人一样 201 00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:42,243 ‎回头见 202 00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,603 ‎-你好 ‎-你好 203 00:10:53,803 --> 00:10:54,923 ‎你是我儿子 204 00:10:55,643 --> 00:10:56,483 ‎对 205 00:10:57,963 --> 00:10:59,003 ‎你还好吗 爸? 206 00:10:59,723 --> 00:11:00,723 ‎还不错 207 00:11:01,723 --> 00:11:02,843 ‎你去哪里了? 208 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,003 ‎澳大利亚 209 00:11:06,443 --> 00:11:07,563 ‎是哪里? 210 00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:10,883 ‎从这里出去左转 211 00:11:11,683 --> 00:11:13,483 ‎过去大概16000公里 212 00:11:13,563 --> 00:11:14,763 ‎噢 好的 213 00:11:15,403 --> 00:11:16,763 ‎但是你现在回来了? 214 00:11:17,523 --> 00:11:18,723 ‎-嗯 ‎-不走了? 215 00:11:20,203 --> 00:11:21,323 ‎-嗯 ‎-你好 216 00:11:21,403 --> 00:11:22,763 ‎-你好 ‎-你好 217 00:11:22,843 --> 00:11:24,323 ‎我们在那啥… 218 00:11:26,203 --> 00:11:27,043 ‎扯扯家常 219 00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:30,843 ‎你下次把象棋带来 220 00:11:31,763 --> 00:11:34,403 ‎我们下一盘 你以前很厉害 221 00:11:34,483 --> 00:11:36,203 ‎-是嘛? ‎-是啊 222 00:11:36,923 --> 00:11:38,123 ‎在哪里? 223 00:11:39,963 --> 00:11:43,203 ‎餐柜里 在雪莉酒旁边 224 00:11:44,883 --> 00:11:46,963 ‎-我明天带来 ‎-谢谢 225 00:11:47,963 --> 00:11:49,163 ‎我得走了 226 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:52,883 ‎我可以休息一下 跟你一起走走 227 00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,043 ‎好的 228 00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:56,123 ‎-再见 爸 ‎-再见 229 00:12:05,883 --> 00:12:06,883 ‎你干什么? 230 00:12:07,403 --> 00:12:08,643 ‎朋友之间就应该牵手啊 231 00:12:08,723 --> 00:12:09,923 ‎-是嘛? ‎-是的 232 00:12:10,603 --> 00:12:12,803 ‎-有的男人之间都牵手 ‎-同性恋 233 00:12:12,883 --> 00:12:15,203 ‎直男有时候也会互相牵手 234 00:12:15,283 --> 00:12:18,203 ‎哪儿有直男牵手在街上走的啊? 235 00:12:18,723 --> 00:12:20,723 ‎在西班牙 而且不是同性恋 236 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:22,283 ‎有一些吧 237 00:12:22,363 --> 00:12:25,883 ‎-不太多 很有男子气概 斗牛士 ‎-嗯 238 00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:28,363 ‎斗牛士不是同性恋 239 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:32,403 ‎对 戴着小贝雷帽 ‎穿着镶有亮片的紧身衣 240 00:12:32,483 --> 00:12:34,763 ‎跳着舞到处晃 ‎别人把玫瑰花扔给他们 241 00:12:34,843 --> 00:12:35,843 ‎绝对不是同性恋 242 00:12:36,363 --> 00:12:37,683 ‎虐待狂贱人 243 00:12:38,723 --> 00:12:40,763 ‎但不是同性恋 我们去哪里? 244 00:13:01,683 --> 00:13:03,603 ‎-干什么呢? ‎-水仙花 245 00:13:04,123 --> 00:13:05,443 ‎嗯 故意损坏财物罪 246 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,203 ‎操!我是为你摘的 混蛋! 247 00:13:14,763 --> 00:13:16,203 ‎好的 开始吧 248 00:13:16,723 --> 00:13:18,883 ‎你们有些人可能也知道 249 00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:23,083 ‎今年是坦布里集市500周年 250 00:13:23,163 --> 00:13:27,683 ‎安排我们做出一些文化方面的东西来 251 00:13:28,403 --> 00:13:30,003 ‎我已经说服了科琳 252 00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:32,803 ‎她负责幕后组织 253 00:13:32,883 --> 00:13:35,803 ‎她也会给我们安排特色任务 254 00:13:36,843 --> 00:13:39,323 ‎我一贯喜欢把大家安排到聚光灯下 255 00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:42,003 ‎我们要怎么做?给一些点子啊 256 00:13:42,523 --> 00:13:46,003 ‎-有没有什么想法?历史性强一些的 ‎-《悲惨世界》 257 00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:47,683 ‎《悲惨世界》确实是古代的东西 258 00:13:47,763 --> 00:13:49,283 ‎但我们不能演这个 259 00:13:49,363 --> 00:13:51,043 ‎我不出钱做这样的节目 去他妈的 260 00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,003 ‎我受够了《贝隆夫人》 261 00:13:53,563 --> 00:13:55,003 ‎到现在还没完 262 00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:59,083 ‎不行 要更互动的东西 可以到处走走 263 00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:00,763 ‎有一种漫步的感觉 264 00:14:00,843 --> 00:14:04,643 ‎别人走过来 ‎一个维京人走来 强奸 劫掠 265 00:14:04,723 --> 00:14:05,723 ‎我就是打个比方 266 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,723 ‎一个和尚走来 为你祈福 ‎古代的那种东西! 267 00:14:08,803 --> 00:14:09,803 ‎比如说海盗船 268 00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,483 ‎一头猪!到处跑! 269 00:14:12,563 --> 00:14:14,243 ‎这个主意怎么样?我不知道 270 00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:17,443 ‎给点意见!不能光是我在想 ‎我们还有什么点子? 271 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,603 ‎我可以扮演失业的莎士比亚戏剧演员 272 00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,923 ‎别这样 詹姆斯 273 00:14:23,483 --> 00:14:25,043 ‎我们都只是要好好玩罢了 274 00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,883 ‎我们都放弃了自己的宝贵时间 275 00:14:26,963 --> 00:14:28,923 ‎但是你不用送报纸 276 00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:30,843 ‎你也不用 多数都被你扔了 277 00:14:33,803 --> 00:14:36,643 ‎听我说 我现在的情况不太好 而且… 278 00:14:36,723 --> 00:14:38,923 ‎你的情况从来就不好 詹姆斯 279 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,203 ‎那我呢? ‎我也有一次和你一起错信过人 280 00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:43,123 ‎我有点担心他 281 00:14:43,203 --> 00:14:46,363 ‎因为除了表演 ‎他完全没有任何事可做 282 00:14:46,443 --> 00:14:49,203 ‎这就是表演 你还要什么呢? 283 00:14:49,283 --> 00:14:51,283 ‎但这很业余 都很业余! 284 00:14:51,363 --> 00:14:54,403 ‎业余?你可别这么说 285 00:14:54,483 --> 00:14:57,403 ‎我是专业演员兼导演 你会知道的 286 00:14:57,483 --> 00:14:58,683 ‎你演过什么? 287 00:14:58,763 --> 00:15:02,163 ‎音乐剧《出租车司机》 在维冈 288 00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:03,683 ‎演得好吗? 289 00:15:03,763 --> 00:15:05,203 ‎你来评判 290 00:15:05,723 --> 00:15:08,803 ‎你在和我说吗?我在和你说 291 00:15:08,883 --> 00:15:11,763 ‎我看不出你他妈是在和别人说 292 00:15:11,843 --> 00:15:12,683 ‎砰 砰! 293 00:15:12,763 --> 00:15:14,483 ‎我是出租车司机 294 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,803 ‎我行驶在夜里 爱接谁就接谁 295 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:18,723 ‎砰 砰! 296 00:15:18,803 --> 00:15:20,443 ‎我是出租车司机 297 00:15:21,043 --> 00:15:25,043 ‎如果你在卖可卡因 ‎那就从后面给我拿一份 298 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:25,963 ‎今晚! 299 00:15:26,483 --> 00:15:27,403 ‎出租车! 300 00:15:31,323 --> 00:15:32,443 ‎他演得真不错 301 00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:53,723 ‎现在也不太有人给服务员打指响了 302 00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:55,403 ‎要给你酒水单吗? 303 00:15:56,043 --> 00:15:58,003 ‎可能应该是“请问要不要酒水单?” 304 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,203 ‎-抱歉 ‎-谢谢 305 00:16:01,203 --> 00:16:02,483 ‎你对葡萄酒了解吗? 306 00:16:03,603 --> 00:16:05,643 ‎不太懂 我喜欢普罗赛柯葡萄酒 307 00:16:06,963 --> 00:16:08,403 ‎-要不要点? ‎-好的 308 00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:13,283 ‎请给我们来两杯 309 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:16,923 ‎2017年的基安蒂葡萄酒 麻烦 310 00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:19,923 ‎-其他的我们之后再点 ‎-哪一种酒? 311 00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:25,883 ‎2017年的基安蒂葡萄酒 ‎我不可能说得更具体了 312 00:16:25,963 --> 00:16:27,803 ‎白纸黑字写在那里 313 00:16:28,323 --> 00:16:30,203 ‎-好的 ‎-本职工作上的东西要了解 314 00:16:32,003 --> 00:16:33,243 ‎如果心不在焉的话 315 00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:34,763 ‎那也许不该在这里 316 00:16:36,243 --> 00:16:37,563 ‎我拿的是最低工资 朋友 317 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,643 ‎上学时应该更努力一些 朋友 318 00:16:41,603 --> 00:16:43,643 ‎夹着尾巴跑了 319 00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:45,283 ‎对了 你是在… 320 00:16:45,363 --> 00:16:46,483 ‎手肘不要搁在桌上 321 00:16:46,563 --> 00:16:49,323 ‎-你是在报纸行业工作? ‎-是的 322 00:16:49,403 --> 00:16:50,483 ‎-在报社? ‎-是的 323 00:16:52,603 --> 00:16:53,683 ‎是的 324 00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:56,843 ‎我其实只看《卫报》 325 00:16:58,043 --> 00:17:01,123 ‎偶尔会看《私家侦探》 ‎不过看的时候也会分心 326 00:17:01,683 --> 00:17:04,882 ‎我的思维很具有创意 327 00:17:06,323 --> 00:17:07,443 ‎我会写诗 328 00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:10,642 ‎你喜欢诗吗? 329 00:17:12,203 --> 00:17:13,122 ‎-嗯 ‎-嗯 是的 330 00:17:14,162 --> 00:17:16,043 ‎-喜欢吗? ‎-嗯 331 00:17:16,683 --> 00:17:18,443 ‎很多人说喜欢诗 332 00:17:18,523 --> 00:17:22,162 ‎但其实意思是 ‎喜欢鲁德亚德·吉卜林的诗 333 00:17:22,243 --> 00:17:25,362 ‎他们觉得这就是高雅的艺术 334 00:17:26,283 --> 00:17:28,122 ‎就像有的人说会下…手肘 335 00:17:28,203 --> 00:17:30,043 ‎就像有的人说会下象棋 336 00:17:30,123 --> 00:17:33,803 ‎其实他们的意思是知道象棋的规则 337 00:17:37,163 --> 00:17:38,043 ‎你喜欢象棋吗? 338 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:41,403 ‎-我不下象棋 ‎-你不下 好的 339 00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:44,403 ‎-但是你知道象棋的规则 对吧? ‎-知道一些 340 00:17:44,483 --> 00:17:45,323 ‎好的 341 00:17:46,243 --> 00:17:47,763 ‎-知道一些 ‎-什么? 342 00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,563 ‎象棋里有小马 343 00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:52,963 ‎是马 344 00:17:53,043 --> 00:17:55,763 ‎-还有猪? ‎-卒 345 00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:57,883 ‎我会下跳棋 346 00:17:57,963 --> 00:17:59,483 ‎跳棋简单很多 对吧? 347 00:17:59,563 --> 00:18:01,003 ‎跳棋是非常简单的游戏 348 00:18:10,163 --> 00:18:11,003 ‎来 349 00:18:16,483 --> 00:18:18,083 ‎这算是每日五份餐中的一份 350 00:18:18,603 --> 00:18:20,003 ‎-等于是葡萄 ‎-对 没错 351 00:18:21,723 --> 00:18:22,963 ‎-喝 ‎-喝 352 00:18:28,123 --> 00:18:30,243 ‎-你还好吧? ‎-你 挺好的 你呢? 353 00:18:30,923 --> 00:18:33,003 ‎我想问你一些事 354 00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:36,323 ‎-好的 ‎-你完全可以拒绝 没问题 355 00:18:36,843 --> 00:18:39,803 ‎我在想你能不能给我当伴郎 356 00:18:41,923 --> 00:18:42,763 ‎操! 357 00:18:44,443 --> 00:18:45,963 ‎我适合当伴郎吗? 358 00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,283 ‎-说实话 也只有你来当了 ‎-嗯 359 00:18:49,643 --> 00:18:50,483 ‎好的 360 00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:57,443 ‎我必须答应 对吧? 361 00:18:58,483 --> 00:18:59,603 ‎如果我还活着 362 00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:02,563 ‎-你怎么还这么说话? ‎-不是 363 00:19:03,323 --> 00:19:06,083 ‎我吃喝过量 可能熬不到八月 364 00:19:06,163 --> 00:19:09,323 ‎好的 只要你是自然死亡 那就没问题 365 00:19:09,843 --> 00:19:11,763 ‎希望如此 366 00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:16,483 ‎不见得为了不当伴郎去寻死 367 00:19:20,363 --> 00:19:22,523 ‎我受宠若惊啊 真他妈的 368 00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:24,203 ‎我得保持清醒吗? 369 00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:27,003 ‎在致辞之前最好要清醒 370 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,643 ‎那就在典礼开始之前致辞 371 00:19:29,723 --> 00:19:30,843 ‎好吧 372 00:19:30,923 --> 00:19:32,403 ‎别说了 我们… 373 00:19:39,403 --> 00:19:41,363 ‎你教科学? 374 00:19:41,443 --> 00:19:42,283 ‎不是 375 00:19:42,883 --> 00:19:49,363 ‎我从事文学学科教学 我教英语 376 00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:52,883 ‎-语言及文学 ‎-噢 好的 377 00:19:54,163 --> 00:19:56,123 ‎-我喜欢星座 ‎-什么? 378 00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:58,003 ‎我喜欢星… 379 00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,363 ‎-星座? ‎-嗯 380 00:20:01,683 --> 00:20:04,443 ‎-你呢? ‎-我喜不喜欢星座? 381 00:20:05,683 --> 00:20:07,963 ‎-嗯 ‎-当然不喜欢 382 00:20:09,203 --> 00:20:10,363 ‎哗众取宠 废话连篇 383 00:20:12,323 --> 00:20:13,283 ‎一厢情愿 384 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:16,083 ‎是轻信者和绝望者的最爱 385 00:20:16,163 --> 00:20:17,043 ‎无意冒犯 386 00:20:18,163 --> 00:20:19,083 ‎坐直了 387 00:20:19,883 --> 00:20:22,483 ‎收肩 手肘永远不要放到桌上 388 00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:29,803 ‎-你期待吗?婚后的生活? ‎-肯定啊 389 00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:31,363 ‎嗯 390 00:20:31,443 --> 00:20:33,683 ‎没错 以后不能出去玩了 391 00:20:34,523 --> 00:20:36,523 ‎但是利大于弊 392 00:20:37,163 --> 00:20:38,003 ‎好的 393 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:41,843 ‎比如我以前会整晚坐着看电视吃东西 394 00:20:41,923 --> 00:20:44,043 ‎现在我还是会这样 395 00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:46,243 ‎但我不需要再起来弄吃的了 396 00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:47,323 ‎她会拿给我 397 00:20:47,963 --> 00:20:50,603 ‎-非常好 ‎-不过得看一些女人的电视 398 00:20:51,563 --> 00:20:52,563 ‎比如呢? 399 00:20:52,643 --> 00:20:55,683 ‎《王冠》《伦敦生活》 ‎《大英烤焗大赛》 400 00:20:55,763 --> 00:20:57,843 ‎但如果我看见一个喜欢的蛋糕 401 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,643 ‎我就会说:“噢 感觉会很好吃” 402 00:20:59,723 --> 00:21:01,003 ‎第二天我就能吃到了 403 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:04,643 ‎《大英烤焗大赛》 ‎现在成你的购物频道了? 404 00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,723 ‎-嗯 ‎-太棒了 好日子啊! 405 00:21:08,043 --> 00:21:10,323 ‎两个放前面 一个放边上 406 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,243 ‎手肘 407 00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:13,363 ‎谢谢 408 00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:15,523 ‎-我来付 ‎-好的 409 00:21:15,603 --> 00:21:16,723 ‎你付小费 410 00:21:17,483 --> 00:21:19,243 ‎-多少钱? ‎-38镑 411 00:21:20,323 --> 00:21:22,523 ‎-好的 ‎-15% 412 00:21:24,043 --> 00:21:24,923 ‎是多少? 413 00:21:30,803 --> 00:21:32,763 ‎38的10%是多少? 414 00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:36,563 ‎3.8镑 415 00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:37,643 ‎3.8镑 很厉害啊 416 00:21:38,323 --> 00:21:40,523 ‎再加50% 是多少呢? 417 00:21:41,203 --> 00:21:42,323 ‎我给5镑好了 418 00:21:43,243 --> 00:21:44,403 ‎不够吧? 419 00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:46,923 ‎-那就给10镑 ‎-多太多了 420 00:21:47,003 --> 00:21:48,963 ‎-我喜欢多给小费 好吗? ‎-好的 421 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,323 ‎好的 这是什么呢? 422 00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:55,483 ‎汇丰银行 先进的英国借记卡 423 00:21:56,723 --> 00:21:57,563 ‎小胡子! 424 00:21:58,683 --> 00:22:00,123 ‎噢 小胡子? 425 00:22:07,283 --> 00:22:09,883 ‎-你最近似乎开心了一些 ‎-是嘛? 426 00:22:11,403 --> 00:22:12,243 ‎嗯 427 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:15,083 ‎我只是尽量把日子过下去 428 00:22:15,163 --> 00:22:17,403 ‎我当然是想好起来 429 00:22:18,643 --> 00:22:20,243 ‎我想当一个好人 430 00:22:21,803 --> 00:22:22,763 ‎但有时候 431 00:22:23,723 --> 00:22:25,083 ‎我懒得烦 432 00:22:25,603 --> 00:22:27,083 ‎太难了 433 00:22:27,163 --> 00:22:28,643 ‎说起来简单 434 00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:29,843 ‎但真的做的时候 435 00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:34,963 ‎面对真正的牺牲 就会躲避 436 00:22:35,043 --> 00:22:36,163 ‎比如 437 00:22:36,243 --> 00:22:38,003 ‎我会捐肾脏给陌生人吗? 438 00:22:38,083 --> 00:22:40,363 ‎不会 肯定不会 439 00:22:41,323 --> 00:22:43,883 ‎连你我都不会给 但有些人就会给 440 00:22:44,483 --> 00:22:45,843 ‎他们怎么就这么好呢? 441 00:22:46,363 --> 00:22:47,843 ‎太不可思议了 442 00:22:47,923 --> 00:22:51,243 ‎我想要做好事 443 00:22:51,323 --> 00:22:53,283 ‎我想要作出牺牲 444 00:22:54,003 --> 00:22:55,523 ‎想要作出贡献 445 00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:57,443 ‎但我又一想 446 00:22:58,283 --> 00:22:59,403 ‎“有什么意义呢?” 447 00:22:59,923 --> 00:23:01,763 ‎即便我把肾脏捐给别人 448 00:23:02,803 --> 00:23:05,363 ‎那人总有一天还是会死 449 00:23:06,363 --> 00:23:07,443 ‎捐不捐有什么关系? 450 00:23:08,163 --> 00:23:09,563 ‎现在当我看见孩子们在玩 451 00:23:09,643 --> 00:23:12,163 ‎我不会想:“有大好的人生等着他们” 452 00:23:12,243 --> 00:23:15,723 ‎我会想:“有一天他们都会死 ‎所以这一切毫无意义” 453 00:23:15,803 --> 00:23:18,243 ‎你的伴郎致辞可以让我修改一下吗? 454 00:23:20,603 --> 00:23:23,723 ‎我的意思是我现在不在意生死了 455 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:25,723 ‎我不是说想死 456 00:23:26,683 --> 00:23:27,523 ‎而是说随它去了 457 00:23:27,603 --> 00:23:30,803 ‎我现在不愤怒了 不想惩罚世界 458 00:23:31,323 --> 00:23:34,043 ‎我已经过了一辈子 ‎现在也没什么新的内容了 459 00:23:34,563 --> 00:23:38,443 ‎别人觉得我可以和其他人接着过 ‎对于这一点我很生气 460 00:23:38,523 --> 00:23:39,763 ‎就好像我能找人替代丽莎 461 00:23:39,843 --> 00:23:40,683 ‎不可能的 462 00:23:41,163 --> 00:23:42,243 ‎我也乐于这样 463 00:23:42,723 --> 00:23:47,243 ‎因为这会使我和她在一起的时光 ‎更美、更珍贵 464 00:23:47,323 --> 00:23:49,603 ‎我现在所拥有的一切 都是因为她 465 00:23:49,683 --> 00:23:53,723 ‎她把房贷全还了 买了人寿保险 466 00:23:55,243 --> 00:23:59,763 ‎我有15万镑 我还没去拿 467 00:23:59,843 --> 00:24:01,923 ‎你有15万镑? 468 00:24:02,803 --> 00:24:04,403 ‎我还没去拿钱 469 00:24:05,203 --> 00:24:07,123 ‎因为我不想要 470 00:24:08,323 --> 00:24:11,083 ‎因为我是通过这种方式拿到的 471 00:24:12,443 --> 00:24:14,643 ‎托尼 你一定要去拿 472 00:24:14,723 --> 00:24:17,763 ‎他妈保险公司的钱为什么不拿 473 00:24:19,203 --> 00:24:21,283 ‎去开一下门 好吗?我不想吵到狗 474 00:24:21,363 --> 00:24:22,963 ‎-啊? ‎-去吧 475 00:24:29,163 --> 00:24:30,323 ‎-噢 你好 ‎-你好 476 00:24:32,043 --> 00:24:32,883 ‎是凯思 477 00:24:37,163 --> 00:24:38,003 ‎你还好吗? 478 00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:40,323 ‎-嗯 ‎-约会怎么样? 479 00:24:44,523 --> 00:24:45,723 ‎无法描述 480 00:24:46,843 --> 00:24:47,683 ‎他怎么样? 481 00:24:48,803 --> 00:24:50,043 ‎绝对的贱人 482 00:24:52,363 --> 00:24:54,803 ‎我为你感到骄傲 要来一杯吗? 483 00:24:55,443 --> 00:24:57,683 ‎-好的 麻烦 ‎-给凯思拿一个杯子 好吗? 484 00:24:58,203 --> 00:24:59,923 ‎-啊? ‎-去吧!我拿不了 485 00:25:00,523 --> 00:25:02,323 ‎什么态度 486 00:26:00,683 --> 00:26:04,923 ‎字幕翻译:朱音