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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎彈跳

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‎-彈跳
‎-等一下

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‎彈跳

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‎彈跳

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‎-妳覺得牠喜歡這樣嗎？
‎-彈跳

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‎喜歡

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‎-妳看牠的臉
‎-彈跳

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‎-我想養狗
‎-不行

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‎好啦，我們來養狗

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‎不行，因為牠們壽命不長

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‎-那樣讓人很難過
‎-什麼？

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‎抱歉，布蘭迪，但這是真的…

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‎狗死掉會讓人難過到不行

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‎對啦，這讓我接到下一件事，爸

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‎我們也是時候要開始思考你的葬禮

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‎別煩他，你還能活20年，雷

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‎-希望不要
‎-這是哪門子的問題？

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‎我們不是要知道嗎？

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‎那你呢？

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‎隨便，妳呢？

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‎我想埋在教堂墓地

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‎這樣大家就能每天拿花過來哭

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‎前幾天可能是
‎之後就會拿下雨當藉口

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‎-你好樣的
‎-火化

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‎看到沒？這就是我要的
‎不囉唆，不自私

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‎我要你把我的骨灰灑在米德湖
‎我在那認識你媽的

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‎我不會為了這個跑去米德湖，說真的

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‎-只要開一個小時左右的車
‎-對，我不開車，對吧？

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‎這是我最後的要求

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‎那又怎樣？好，我現在答應
‎但你不會知道吧？

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‎-到時我只會懶得動
‎-米德湖的哪裡，雷？

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‎旅人之友，很棒的老酒吧
‎我也在那求婚

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‎-對，那邊可能成了手機店
‎-你有什麼想法？

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‎你的獨子不想開車去灑你的骨灰

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‎他會的，他很乖

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‎嗨，你好嗎？

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‎你覺得呢？

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‎-不好？
‎-對

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‎情況越來越嚴重，我能怎麼辦？

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‎我不知道

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‎你知道她靠什麼賺錢
‎以前你就沒意見

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‎我沒想到我們在一起後
‎她還會繼續靠這生活

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‎電影不是這樣演的

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‎李察吉爾沒有搭著禮車出現

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‎爬上消防樓梯

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‎然後茱莉亞羅勃茲說：“等我一下”

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‎“我正在幫乾洗店老闆張鮑比吸屌”

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‎-你怎麼知道她在吸張鮑比？
‎-他跟我說的

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‎他不知道她是我女友
‎我什麼都沒說，只覺得噁心

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‎我太驚訝了

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‎覺得十分沮喪

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‎-也許你該跟她談談
‎-不行，我覺得好蠢

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‎不如你去跟她談？

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‎不行，絕對不行，我好久沒看到她了

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‎她現在沒來了，我想說她很忙

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‎她整晚都很忙

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‎也對

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‎-你應該找人聊聊
‎-正在做

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‎-我不夠格…
‎-你夠格

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‎你本來不是又沮喪又想自殺？

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‎-你沒想自殺吧？
‎-沒有，我懶

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‎-那就好
‎-別這樣，幫幫我們，這都怪你

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‎最好是

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‎拜託你啦

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‎我想一下，真要命

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‎走吧

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‎（秋葉安老院）

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‎-嗨
‎-嗨

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‎我決定去旅行，順便灑我爸的骨灰

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‎真貼心，去哪灑？

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‎他跟我媽求婚的小村莊

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‎這是他的遺願

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‎我的骨灰？

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‎不是，不是你的骨灰

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‎你還沒死

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‎而且你也不是我爸，記得嗎？

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‎我是領養的嗎？

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‎我真衰，彷彿出現了第二個爸爸

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‎這樣可能也好
‎因為他兒子不曾來看他

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‎在移民到澳洲前
‎幾乎沒時間來這陪他

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‎-這樣喔？
‎-要嗎？

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‎人生很殘酷

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‎那就喝完吧，好

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‎嘿

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‎沒事吧？

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‎真驚險，就像掉在地毯上的金魚

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‎-哪裡有金魚？
‎-沒有這…

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‎又來了

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‎新家住得習慣嗎？

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‎我很感謝肯

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‎他沒收我的錢
‎又比住在家裡好，可是

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‎他一直來找我

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‎說真的，聽到他上樓，我都會呆住

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‎然後他會敲門，我就…

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‎我就開始保持安靜直到他走開

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‎我過著安妮法蘭克的生活

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‎妳會找到更好的地方

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‎親愛的各位，我是臭鼠，這是戀童癖

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‎大家好嗎？我們是來說故事的
‎我們創了播客

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‎-他人在那
‎-嘿

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‎記得我們嗎，小子？
‎你想在報紙報導我們的故事

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‎我們跟你的前心理醫師
‎製作一集播客，你這瘋子

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‎你們是心理醫生？

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‎誤會了，我們不是，我們在金融業

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‎但我們分享的內容是我們是男人

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‎而且以此為傲

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‎播客內容都是這個
‎只是鼓勵男人做自己

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‎雖然節目專做給男性
‎但我們仍有幾位女性會聽

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‎主要是受夠了這些新男性胡說八道

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‎我們只想幫這個世界拿出男子氣概

112
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‎-我們成天這麼說，不如…
‎-散播出去

113
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‎我們在推特上發文
‎讓你們知道我們是怎麼做的

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‎-真令人興奮
‎-發給追隨者通知

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‎-參與直播，現在開始
‎-快說我們在哪

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‎你們這些屎蛋，大家好

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‎你們這些蠢貨

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‎我們在《坦伯里報章》採訪

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‎打聲招呼，親愛的，說吧

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‎我寧可不要

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‎她很害羞，不過沒關係

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‎我們只是在測試，主要節目今晚播出

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‎-測試，測試我的蛋蛋
‎-測試，一、二、三

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‎把我的蛋蛋從頭測試到尾
‎天啊，蛋蛋好滿

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‎滿滿的都是精液

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‎剛噴完了，全噴在妳的收文籃

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‎我的測試全測在妳阿嬤身上

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‎我說：“靠，全噴在她的穴穴”

129
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‎她說：“謝啦，親愛的，我很需要”

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‎“你吃了什麼？”

131
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‎這妳不用擔心，阿嬤

132
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‎千萬不要踩到我噴的洨跌倒

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‎-至於你，燻火腿69
‎-好了，兩位，夠了喔

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‎-別鬧了，這裡是辦公室
‎-“各位，這裡是辦公室”

135
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‎要命喔，安德魯王子要發飆了

136
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‎你這死爛人，快回到你的爛辦公室裡

137
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‎-我只是在開玩笑
‎-他只是在鬧而已，放心

138
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‎臭鼠和戀童癖播客，感謝各位

139
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‎身心健康區，知道嗎？

140
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‎我會寫下來
‎謝謝你們的獨家，再見囉

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‎我差這麼一點就要

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‎動手了

143
00:07:09,443 --> 00:07:11,283
‎但暴力不是解決之道，所以…

144
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‎絕對不是，不行

145
00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:25,203
‎-掌握工作的訣竅了嗎？
‎-對，應該吧，快了

146
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‎過來吧，這裡有點空間

147
00:07:44,683 --> 00:07:45,923
‎你們有人放屁嗎？

148
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‎沒有，是屋子的臭味

149
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‎布萊恩的味道也是這樣
‎妳聞聞看，他有一樣的味道

150
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‎真的耶

151
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‎-那是你的味道吧？
‎-對

152
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‎對，有點像屎尿加上汗

153
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,763
‎還有害怕和恥辱

154
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‎主要是屎味

155
00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:06,003
‎-你開心就好，伙伴
‎-謝了

156
00:08:08,483 --> 00:08:10,883
‎你介意我把垃圾通通清掉嗎？

157
00:08:13,683 --> 00:08:15,163
‎不會，妳清吧

158
00:08:18,643 --> 00:08:20,003
‎我不看的話，妳會介意嗎？

159
00:08:21,323 --> 00:08:22,163
‎心情有點激動

160
00:08:25,603 --> 00:08:26,443
‎好

161
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‎-那就開始吧
‎-好

162
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:39,883
‎-累了嗎？
‎-有點

163
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‎我很快就好

164
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‎所以

165
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:49,123
‎吃到飽餐廳何時開始禁止你入內？

166
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‎上個月

167
00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:52,283
‎我還在生氣

168
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:57,803
‎-當然，他們拿什麼當理由？
‎-他們挺誠實的

169
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‎說我會吃垮他們
‎他們從沒看過這種事

170
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,643
‎他們好幾次警告我吃太多，但是

171
00:09:06,163 --> 00:09:09,563
‎我回他們：“我只能吃這麼多
‎怎麼能說我吃太多？”

172
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,963
‎有道理，你多久去一次？

173
00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:15,963
‎每天，午餐和晚餐

174
00:09:16,603 --> 00:09:18,003
‎你一天去兩次？

175
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,643
‎沒有，就一餐，從午餐吃到晚餐

176
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‎然後我吃飽了

177
00:09:24,003 --> 00:09:25,643
‎有些時候差點走不回家

178
00:09:26,163 --> 00:09:29,243
‎所以你每天都去？

179
00:09:29,723 --> 00:09:31,723
‎一去就是六小時？

180
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‎對，六七個小時，我不是一直在吃

181
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‎我偶爾會睡著，不過呢

182
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‎有人來收盤子時，我會醒來

183
00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:48,683
‎好，吃到飽要多少錢？

184
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‎每個人每次10英鎊

185
00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:54,923
‎所以我去一次就留在那

186
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‎我要吃回本

187
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‎多數人會吃兩到三片披薩

188
00:10:00,243 --> 00:10:02,123
‎兩份義大利麵

189
00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:04,923
‎但披薩大多是麵包，義大利麵不值錢

190
00:10:05,003 --> 00:10:08,083
‎這就是餐廳的生財之道

191
00:10:08,803 --> 00:10:11,283
‎我會拿20到30片的披薩

192
00:10:11,883 --> 00:10:13,643
‎刮下上面的料

193
00:10:13,723 --> 00:10:15,523
‎留著麵皮

194
00:10:15,603 --> 00:10:16,603
‎這是誘餌

195
00:10:17,243 --> 00:10:18,963
‎義大利肉醬麵也是一樣

196
00:10:19,483 --> 00:10:20,883
‎我會去拿15次

197
00:10:20,963 --> 00:10:23,803
‎從義大利麵中挑出肉

198
00:10:24,883 --> 00:10:29,003
‎這樣會有大概兩公斤重的牛肉

199
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,243
‎我有的就是時間

200
00:10:33,683 --> 00:10:35,843
‎-你不用工作？
‎-不用

201
00:10:35,923 --> 00:10:38,483
‎我提早退休，領殘障津貼

202
00:10:39,963 --> 00:10:42,563
‎冒昧問一下，你怎麼了嗎？

203
00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:44,163
‎你看看我

204
00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:46,763
‎我整個人都沒救了

205
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,883
‎這間餐廳到底在哪？

206
00:10:50,963 --> 00:10:53,323
‎-拍張照就好了
‎-是嗎？好

207
00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:56,243
‎笑一個

208
00:10:57,683 --> 00:10:58,523
‎太好了

209
00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:01,403
‎這讓我很煩

210
00:11:01,483 --> 00:11:02,723
‎-因為他太貪心？
‎-不是

211
00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:05,323
‎對，他很貪心，這不用說

212
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:06,443
‎但他說的對

213
00:11:06,523 --> 00:11:10,763
‎他們主打你要吃多少都行的口號

214
00:11:10,843 --> 00:11:12,123
‎等下要喝寶貝奇諾嗎？

215
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:16,403
‎不能因為有人吃太多或太常來而反悔

216
00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:19,283
‎不然可以改遊戲規則，一體適用

217
00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:20,763
‎-講清楚就行
‎-要藜麥嗎？

218
00:11:21,443 --> 00:11:24,083
‎-你最喜歡藜麥了
‎-現在都不講信用

219
00:11:24,163 --> 00:11:25,803
‎你拉了一大坨便便嗎？

220
00:11:25,883 --> 00:11:28,363
‎-真是要命
‎-你沒事吧？

221
00:11:28,883 --> 00:11:31,603
‎-對，幹嘛？
‎-你剛說：“真是要命”，所以…

222
00:11:31,683 --> 00:11:34,203
‎你覺得有事情惹火我了？

223
00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:37,483
‎-例如有人吵個不停？
‎-糟了

224
00:11:38,723 --> 00:11:40,363
‎他是嬰兒

225
00:11:40,443 --> 00:11:43,283
‎但吵的人不是他吧？是你

226
00:11:43,363 --> 00:11:46,683
‎我是為了讓他開心
‎如果他哭了，大家會很煩

227
00:11:46,763 --> 00:11:50,243
‎不會，因為他是嬰兒
‎你發出聲音才讓人很煩

228
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,923
‎那只是聲音，不關你的事

229
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:54,963
‎你跟朋友講話，我跟小孩講話

230
00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:58,003
‎但你聽不到我講的每字每句吧？

231
00:11:58,083 --> 00:12:00,443
‎那又怎樣？
‎到處都很吵，生活就是這樣

232
00:12:00,523 --> 00:12:01,843
‎好，有道理

233
00:12:05,843 --> 00:12:07,243
‎那個討厭鬼是誰？

234
00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:10,763
‎-是你，你這個大討厭鬼
‎-這樣很可悲

235
00:12:10,843 --> 00:12:13,883
‎-抱歉，我在跟朋友說話
‎-你說的是大家不想聽的

236
00:12:13,963 --> 00:12:16,123
‎你說的也是，但你不在意，那…

237
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,763
‎對，你是吵死人的機車鬼
‎對，就是你

238
00:12:20,283 --> 00:12:23,323
‎你是長得像地精的笨嬉皮

239
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:27,363
‎在公共場合煩死人的機車鬼，就是你

240
00:12:27,443 --> 00:12:30,243
‎你是賤人，沒錯，你就是賤人

241
00:12:30,323 --> 00:12:31,403
‎我要…

242
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,483
‎肥肚肚，你這個小賤貨

243
00:12:36,003 --> 00:12:37,723
‎你他媽小賤貨

244
00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:42,363
‎你他媽小賤貨

245
00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:46,003
‎這只是聲音

246
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,443
‎（《坦伯里報章》，你當地的週報）

247
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,523
‎（《坦伯里報章》）

248
00:12:55,603 --> 00:12:59,043
‎這樣吧，我載你去桌球場
‎我們再一起去

249
00:12:59,763 --> 00:13:00,603
‎去米德湖

250
00:13:00,683 --> 00:13:01,843
‎-好
‎-一定很好玩

251
00:13:01,923 --> 00:13:04,003
‎-好
‎-我們來場公路之旅

252
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,043
‎買點零食和CD，一定很有趣

253
00:13:06,123 --> 00:13:08,243
‎-好，謝了
‎-好，很好

254
00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:12,403
‎我今天剩下的時間解決了

255
00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:14,683
‎我要跟他打桌球

256
00:13:14,763 --> 00:13:18,003
‎然後他載我去米德湖灑我爸的骨灰

257
00:13:18,523 --> 00:13:20,043
‎聽起來很精彩

258
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:21,683
‎對

259
00:13:22,763 --> 00:13:25,323
‎最好是，我們真是一群窩囊廢

260
00:13:25,923 --> 00:13:27,603
‎-只有你吧
‎-我是

261
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,403
‎不過還有跟我一樣窩囊的每個人

262
00:13:30,923 --> 00:13:33,363
‎麥特因為自己有登山衣
‎而自認有冒險心

263
00:13:33,443 --> 00:13:37,043
‎蘭尼在口袋找到
‎沒吃的餅乾就很興奮，別裝清高

264
00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:41,603
‎你說的沒錯
‎我的生活中完全沒有有趣的事

265
00:13:44,243 --> 00:13:45,323
‎不是這樣的

266
00:13:45,403 --> 00:13:47,803
‎我有假想的男友，我討厭我的工作

267
00:13:48,883 --> 00:13:51,843
‎我寧可學你，但我太害怕了

268
00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:56,923
‎對，我沒辦法再約會了
‎好男人都名草有主

269
00:13:58,483 --> 00:14:00,683
‎不然就是同志或瘋子

270
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:05,523
‎我列了完美男人清單
‎有多悲哀才要這樣？

271
00:14:06,043 --> 00:14:08,323
‎對，我也做過這事，妳列了什麼？

272
00:14:08,403 --> 00:14:11,243
‎有自己的車、房子、生意、沒小孩

273
00:14:11,323 --> 00:14:14,763
‎聰明、正常的男子，妳呢？

274
00:14:14,843 --> 00:14:16,963
‎一定要好看、有雞雞

275
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:25,123
‎凱絲，要喝杯咖啡嗎？

276
00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:26,883
‎好

277
00:14:32,403 --> 00:14:34,083
‎我再也不想找麻煩了

278
00:14:34,843 --> 00:14:36,243
‎這樣有什麼意義？

279
00:14:36,323 --> 00:14:38,043
‎對，我懂妳的感受

280
00:14:39,483 --> 00:14:40,443
‎不好意思

281
00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:43,163
‎-我是凱絲
‎-什麼？

282
00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:44,683
‎什麼？

283
00:14:45,883 --> 00:14:48,203
‎我以為你問我的名字

284
00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:50,643
‎-何以見得？
‎-對，何以見得？

285
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:52,523
‎說不上來

286
00:14:53,603 --> 00:14:56,163
‎-妳有零錢嗎？
‎-我沒有錢

287
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,443
‎我是說我有錢

288
00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:58,723
‎有一份正當工作

289
00:14:59,243 --> 00:15:01,323
‎我只是把錢放在辦公室

290
00:15:02,003 --> 00:15:02,923
‎好，沒關係

291
00:15:03,883 --> 00:15:05,043
‎你結婚了嗎？

292
00:15:06,123 --> 00:15:07,523
‎-沒有
‎-有女友嗎？

293
00:15:08,363 --> 00:15:09,523
‎-沒有
‎-是同志嗎？

294
00:15:09,603 --> 00:15:11,403
‎-不是
‎-叫什麼？

295
00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:12,763
‎-查爾斯
‎-查爾斯

296
00:15:12,843 --> 00:15:14,083
‎-你見過凱絲了？
‎-對

297
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,003
‎-對
‎-你為什麼覺得我是同志？

298
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,003
‎怎麼不會？

299
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,603
‎-什麼？
‎-不重要，不是就好

300
00:15:21,163 --> 00:15:22,763
‎要一起喝點東西嗎？

301
00:15:24,563 --> 00:15:25,723
‎好

302
00:15:26,483 --> 00:15:30,523
‎好，我拿名片給妳

303
00:15:32,043 --> 00:15:32,883
‎謝謝

304
00:15:34,443 --> 00:15:35,723
‎-謝了
‎-再見

305
00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:36,843
‎再見

306
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:41,123
‎我死定了

307
00:15:41,843 --> 00:15:44,843
‎-怎麼會？
‎-很丟臉，我太不冷靜了

308
00:15:45,763 --> 00:15:47,443
‎-他喜歡妳
‎-才沒有

309
00:15:47,523 --> 00:15:50,523
‎-他慌了手腳，想裝客氣
‎-律師不會慌了手腳

310
00:15:50,603 --> 00:15:54,483
‎這是另一點
‎他是律師，有律師袍什麼的

311
00:15:55,483 --> 00:15:58,123
‎總不好說我在地方免費報社上班
‎他會覺得我很沒用

312
00:15:58,203 --> 00:15:59,163
‎我沒關係

313
00:16:00,003 --> 00:16:02,763
‎跟他說…妳是調查記者

314
00:16:04,243 --> 00:16:07,443
‎這會嚇跑他，他會以為我在調查他

315
00:16:08,443 --> 00:16:10,043
‎律師會想要我從事什麼行業？

316
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,003
‎殺人犯

317
00:16:13,803 --> 00:16:14,843
‎什麼？

318
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,043
‎做自己就好了

319
00:16:17,763 --> 00:16:18,683
‎說真話

320
00:16:20,483 --> 00:16:21,803
‎永遠要說真話

321
00:16:26,963 --> 00:16:28,123
‎這樣更糟

322
00:16:29,123 --> 00:16:29,963
‎怎樣？

323
00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:33,483
‎你坐在那邊玩他媽的找字遊戲

324
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,763
‎這裡原本是色情片，堆到這麼高

325
00:16:37,803 --> 00:16:39,003
‎那種日子結束了

326
00:16:40,803 --> 00:16:44,243
‎五年前，我可以打手槍噴到你臉上

327
00:16:47,763 --> 00:16:49,123
‎我浪費了人生

328
00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:51,283
‎-準備好沒？
‎-好了

329
00:16:51,363 --> 00:16:52,843
‎好，開始吧

330
00:16:56,003 --> 00:16:57,083
‎一比零

331
00:16:58,323 --> 00:16:59,683
‎別鬧了

332
00:17:00,243 --> 00:17:01,403
‎好，現在三比零

333
00:17:05,683 --> 00:17:08,163
‎-那球有稍微碰到…
‎-沒有

334
00:17:10,643 --> 00:17:11,723
‎正中蛋蛋

335
00:17:12,523 --> 00:17:13,683
‎好

336
00:17:17,963 --> 00:17:19,683
‎-19比2
‎-三

337
00:17:19,763 --> 00:17:20,883
‎-是嗎？好
‎-對

338
00:17:24,203 --> 00:17:25,523
‎-20比3
‎-好，沒關係

339
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:30,843
‎很精彩

340
00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:35,723
‎這樣的運動不夠吧？你只是…

341
00:17:36,363 --> 00:17:39,203
‎-你只是站在那
‎-對，把球打回去

342
00:17:39,283 --> 00:17:40,243
‎對，但你沒有…

343
00:17:40,323 --> 00:17:41,923
‎-你幾乎沒動
‎-對

344
00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:44,523
‎我覺得我們應該做運動量更大的事

345
00:17:44,603 --> 00:17:47,643
‎-好
‎-好比說網球或其他的

346
00:17:47,723 --> 00:17:49,483
‎-對，很好
‎-好，可以

347
00:17:49,563 --> 00:17:53,483
‎因為桌球只是看運氣？就像彈珠台

348
00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:00,843
‎-不行，聽得夠多了
‎-那就播你喜歡的

349
00:18:00,923 --> 00:18:02,603
‎對，難度就在這

350
00:18:03,563 --> 00:18:05,083
‎威爾史密斯，《千禧威龍》

351
00:18:05,603 --> 00:18:09,203
‎-對，千禧年的哽
‎-對，大家最後一次買CD的時候

352
00:18:10,443 --> 00:18:12,363
‎-光明前程合唱團
‎-好樂團

353
00:18:13,403 --> 00:18:14,643
‎我喜歡光明前程合唱團

354
00:18:14,723 --> 00:18:16,803
‎-他媽的蘇珊大嬸
‎-怎麼了？

355
00:18:17,403 --> 00:18:18,243
‎怎樣？

356
00:18:18,843 --> 00:18:21,243
‎-跟她道別
‎-喂，你在幹嘛？

357
00:18:22,043 --> 00:18:23,683
‎你剛…布雷不行

358
00:18:23,763 --> 00:18:24,683
‎布雷要走

359
00:18:24,763 --> 00:18:27,483
‎不行，你瘋了嗎？你會害死人，東尼

360
00:18:27,563 --> 00:18:29,163
‎-電台司令樂團
‎-那不是我的

361
00:18:29,243 --> 00:18:30,723
‎我知道，這很好聽

362
00:18:31,723 --> 00:18:32,643
‎這是吉兒的

363
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,203
‎-莉莎送她的
‎-是喔？

364
00:18:36,603 --> 00:18:37,803
‎對，她很喜歡他們

365
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,683
‎-敬妳
‎-敬你

366
00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:21,483
‎所以你是律師？

367
00:19:22,363 --> 00:19:23,963
‎對，訟務律師

368
00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:25,083
‎-好
‎-妳呢？

369
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,043
‎不是

370
00:19:27,843 --> 00:19:30,323
‎-什麼？
‎-我不是訟務律師

371
00:19:31,683 --> 00:19:33,803
‎好，妳是做什麼的？

372
00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:37,443
‎我的工作？

373
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,803
‎好，我沒有要騙你

374
00:19:43,523 --> 00:19:44,363
‎我是

375
00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:46,323
‎醫生

376
00:19:46,803 --> 00:19:48,123
‎-真行
‎-對

377
00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:51,923
‎-妳有開業嗎？
‎-不用，我都做過了

378
00:19:52,003 --> 00:19:53,323
‎我有證書了

379
00:19:54,123 --> 00:19:54,963
‎什麼？

380
00:19:56,243 --> 00:19:57,243
‎你剛說什麼？

381
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:03,243
‎妳有開業嗎？
‎是全科醫師還是醫院的外科醫生？

382
00:20:03,323 --> 00:20:04,163
‎對

383
00:20:05,723 --> 00:20:07,043
‎我在醫院工作

384
00:20:07,683 --> 00:20:08,723
‎當醫生

385
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:12,683
‎好

386
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,243
‎-要點餐嗎？
‎-要

387
00:20:28,323 --> 00:20:29,683
‎我過得很充實，小子

388
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:30,763
‎-是嗎？
‎-對

389
00:20:31,643 --> 00:20:32,883
‎對，高潮迭起

390
00:20:33,683 --> 00:20:36,043
‎她是很優秀的女人，很性感

391
00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:41,643
‎無法馴服的野獸

392
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,123
‎性愛很爽

393
00:20:45,763 --> 00:20:46,803
‎性愛很爽

394
00:20:53,243 --> 00:20:54,283
‎我拍了她的色情片

395
00:20:55,403 --> 00:20:56,963
‎就在這塊地毯上

396
00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:00,883
‎她說想要跟我和羅利卡特三人行

397
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,683
‎那傢伙絕對是禽獸，你知道他嗎？

398
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,123
‎-不認識
‎-身高190公分

399
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:09,443
‎127公斤，加上珠寶

400
00:21:10,523 --> 00:21:11,363
‎我同意了

401
00:21:14,003 --> 00:21:16,083
‎結果她只是想要我掌鏡

402
00:21:19,923 --> 00:21:20,763
‎這沒問題

403
00:21:22,723 --> 00:21:24,483
‎“都聽妳的，親愛的”

404
00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:28,443
‎於是她四肢著地，他在後面

405
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,523
‎用狗爬式上她

406
00:21:33,963 --> 00:21:35,883
‎我拍下整個過程

407
00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:41,443
‎她愛死了，我從她的眼神看得出來

408
00:21:45,323 --> 00:21:46,683
‎接著羅利看著我

409
00:21:47,843 --> 00:21:51,603
‎沒來由地看進鏡頭，搖著頭…

410
00:21:53,763 --> 00:21:54,643
‎彷彿在說

411
00:21:56,043 --> 00:21:58,843
‎“這真是糟透了”

412
00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:02,243
‎我不知道他是在說拍片品質

413
00:22:02,323 --> 00:22:05,683
‎還是膝蓋頂著粗地毯
‎結果他說的是她陰道的味道

414
00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:11,163
‎-請用
‎-謝謝

415
00:22:11,683 --> 00:22:12,523
‎謝謝

416
00:22:13,443 --> 00:22:14,283
‎太好了

417
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:18,123
‎妳有很多機會下廚嗎？在妳…

418
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:21,563
‎沒有，我忙得不可開交

419
00:22:21,643 --> 00:22:22,483
‎也對

420
00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:24,203
‎-多數日子是這樣
‎-對

421
00:22:25,123 --> 00:22:30,083
‎我只能吃一人份的冷凍餐

422
00:22:30,163 --> 00:22:32,523
‎-好哀傷
‎-對

423
00:22:39,163 --> 00:22:40,923
‎-她是醫生
‎-下班了

424
00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:42,963
‎-什麼？
‎-我下班了

425
00:22:47,683 --> 00:22:48,963
‎好了

426
00:22:49,043 --> 00:22:51,563
‎-很好
‎-她沒事，我料到了

427
00:22:54,883 --> 00:22:56,123
‎為什麼不幫她？

428
00:23:32,843 --> 00:23:34,163
‎這地方真令人驚奇

429
00:23:35,003 --> 00:23:37,723
‎建於14世紀之類的？

430
00:23:37,803 --> 00:23:38,643
‎我不知道

431
00:23:40,083 --> 00:23:43,603
‎這一定是他求婚的桌子
‎就在女王畫像下面

432
00:23:43,683 --> 00:23:45,683
‎-真的嗎？
‎-對，我們坐這桌吧

433
00:23:46,523 --> 00:23:47,443
‎好極了

434
00:23:50,643 --> 00:23:52,683
‎想想看有多少人來過這

435
00:23:53,523 --> 00:23:55,163
‎-這地方很棒
‎-好

436
00:23:59,883 --> 00:24:00,843
‎你在做什麼？

437
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,923
‎我灑了一點我爸的骨灰

438
00:24:04,003 --> 00:24:05,163
‎在地毯上？

439
00:24:06,123 --> 00:24:07,563
‎對，這是他的遺願

440
00:24:07,643 --> 00:24:10,203
‎是嗎？要打掃的人又不是他

441
00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:12,683
‎老兄，這只是愚蠢的小儀式

442
00:24:12,763 --> 00:24:15,763
‎害不了人的
‎我知道這會被清掉，所以…

443
00:24:15,843 --> 00:24:17,923
‎-這是破壞公物
‎-這不是破壞公物

444
00:24:18,443 --> 00:24:20,723
‎-沒東西壞掉
‎-那就是亂丟垃圾

445
00:24:21,763 --> 00:24:23,643
‎這是我爸的骨灰，懂嗎？

446
00:24:23,723 --> 00:24:27,683
‎他以前很常來這
‎這是我向他致敬的方法

447
00:24:27,763 --> 00:24:30,203
‎那就灑在垃圾桶裡，哪有差？

448
00:24:30,283 --> 00:24:33,203
‎我相信他沒有指定要灑在地毯上

449
00:24:33,283 --> 00:24:36,123
‎沒有，但這是他向我媽求婚的桌子

450
00:24:36,203 --> 00:24:37,843
‎我從他的描述判斷出來的

451
00:24:37,923 --> 00:24:39,563
‎這只是灰，有必要嗎？

452
00:24:39,643 --> 00:24:42,643
‎-噁心死了，有沒有病啊？
‎-什麼病？

453
00:24:42,723 --> 00:24:45,483
‎-屍體的病
‎-這畢竟不是屍體吧？

454
00:24:45,563 --> 00:24:49,523
‎如果我把他從停屍間拖出來
‎你這麼生氣還有道理

455
00:24:49,603 --> 00:24:52,683
‎我很有道理
‎我想怎樣就怎樣，這是我的酒吧

456
00:24:52,763 --> 00:24:56,123
‎我可以禁止你們進來，不用理由
‎你們兩個給我出去

457
00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:57,403
‎把垃圾帶走

458
00:24:58,963 --> 00:24:59,803
‎垃圾？

459
00:25:05,683 --> 00:25:07,163
‎愚蠢的王八蛋

460
00:25:07,683 --> 00:25:08,923
‎我吃到骨灰了

461
00:25:09,003 --> 00:25:11,603
‎很好，希望那是他的老二，你這蠢貨

462
00:25:44,883 --> 00:25:46,203
‎“我希望那是他的老二

463
00:25:47,323 --> 00:25:48,523
‎你這蠢貨”

464
00:26:56,483 --> 00:26:57,843
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜