1
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,240
["Not Dark Yet" playing]

2
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,280
[man grunting]

3
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,040
-[Lisa] Tony.
-Oh!

4
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,520
-Oh.
-[Lisa laughing]

5
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:32,440
Fuck.

6
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[pants]

7
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My heart rate was already at fucking 140.

8
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[Lisa] Yeah, I could see.

9
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:39,360
Brilliant.

10
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,160
♪ Shadows are falling ♪

11
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♪ And I've been here all day ♪

12
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:46,800
Come on.

13
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,600
♪ It's too hard to sleep ♪

14
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,680
♪ And time is running away ♪

15
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♪ Feel like my soul has ♪

16
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♪ Turned into steel ♪

17
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♪ I've still got the scars ♪

18
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♪ That the sun didn't heal ♪

19
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♪ There's not even room enough ♪

20
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♪ To be anywhere ♪

21
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[doorbell rings]

22
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,880
♪ It's not dark yet ♪

23
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♪ But it's getting there ♪

24
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[Tony sighs]

25
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,200
There you go.

26
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,840
-Cheers.
-All right?

27
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,360
Yeah. Good. You?

28
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,280
Yeah, good. How's the dog?

29
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:41,760
How's the dog?

30
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,720
Yeah, yeah. Chilling
on the couch, I'll bet. [chuckles]

31
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,120
-Yeah, she's good.
-[Paul] Yeah.

32
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,560
Great. Great. Yeah.
Oh, ask me how my girlfriend is.

33
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,360
-How's your girlfriend?
-Good. Good. Yeah.

34
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,560
Being done from behind as we speak
by Andy Norris, the bookmaker.

35
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,240
Right.

36
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,120
See ya.

37
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,720
[uplifting music playing]

38
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,760
[Emma]
It's nice out there again today, isn't it?

39
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,480
Maybe get you outside for a wee walk.

40
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,280
Sorry about last night.
Obviously nothing to do with you.

41
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,840
I just-- I can't stand people interfering.

42
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:37,760
Sure.

43
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,760
It was all so forced and in public and--

44
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,120
Do you fancy a drink tonight, then?
Just-- Just us?

45
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,080
-No.
-Really?

46
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,000
Joking. Of course I fancy a drink.

47
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,200
Where do you wanna go?

48
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,720
Nowhere. I drink on the couch.

49
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,320
Okay. Maybe I can come
and sit on a couch nearby.

50
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,640
Yep.

51
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,320
-Got any gin?
-Got everything.

52
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,320
-Tonic?
-I meant everything alcoholic.

53
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,080
-I'll get some tonic.
-Yeah.

54
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,000
-A lemon?
-No.

55
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:10,600
I'll bring a lemon then.

56
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,400
[sighs]

57
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,120
-You all right?
-Are you my son?

58
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:16,800
[scoffs]

59
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,480
It's like nothing's changed, innit?

60
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,040
-What?
-Dad.

61
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,400
-See ya later.
-Hmm.

62
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,440
[Anne] Still early. 9:15.

63
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,840
[Paul] Fancy a cup of tea?

64
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,800
[Anne] Yeah. Why not?

65
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,000
No room for me?

66
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:38,600
Oh.

67
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,320
-We were just leaving.
-Oh.

68
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:41,840
Okay.

69
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,720
Off anywhere nice?

70
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,080
-Just going for a cup of tea.
-[Tony] Great.

71
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,040
Okay.

72
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,160
See ya later.

73
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,520
-You okay?
-Definitely.

74
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:57,800
Yeah.

75
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,680
I'm not replacing Stan, by the way.

76
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,080
-What do you mean?
-Anne and me.

77
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,960
We still miss our other halves
with all our heart.

78
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,080
Only now, we--

79
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,040
we miss them together.

80
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,960
You wanted two lonely people
to be happy, right?

81
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:14,880
Yeah.

82
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,640
And, uh, I don't think that, at any point,
you ever asked yourself,

83
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,800
"I hope their late partners don't mind."

84
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,480
No, of course not.

85
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,280
So why do you impose
such a restriction on yourself?

86
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,840
[sad music playing]

87
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:44,440
Alone again.

88
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,200
That's fine.

89
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,520
You know me. I'm not one to complain.

90
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,520
Oh, I still miss you so much.

91
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,320
I don't think I'll ever get over it.

92
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,160
I'm not strong enough.

93
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,160
Not without you.

94
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,920
I'm still going through
the stages of grief.

95
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,200
Denial's the tricky one.

96
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,040
I was never in denial that you were gone.

97
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,320
I was in denial that

98
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,440
I was suffering from mental illness.

99
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,560
Even when I was suicidal, I never thought
there was anything wrong with me.

100
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,120
I thought that was
the sensible thing to do,

101
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,000
and it annoyed me that other people
thought I wasn't thinking straight.

102
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,960
It was only recently I realized I was ill.

103
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,880
I guess that was
the glimmer of hope to getting better.

104
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,160
[sighs]

105
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,440
It feels good.

106
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,600
Talking to you.

107
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,120
Sorry, how it ended last night,

108
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,920
but I wasn't in the mood,

109
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,400
and I didn't know
why you were criticizing Lisa.

110
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,520
No one was criticizing Lisa.

111
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,160
We just didn't want Emma
to feel worthless compared to her.

112
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,720
Why? She's not my new wife.

113
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,480
No, but she's a person.
She's a nice person.

114
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,640
-We told her that after you left.
-Good.

115
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,120
While you were doing that,
I threw the cactus through a car window

116
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,640
that didn't stop at a zebra crossing.

117
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Brilliant. You can cover that
when I get the call about it later.

118
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,480
-That's what you get.
-What do you mean?

119
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,160
I didn't want to do the stupid soiree.
I was doing it for you.

120
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,960
-You were making life more interesting.
-My fault, yeah.

121
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,400
-We've both learned a lesson, haven't we?
-Which is?

122
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,920
Never help anyone, ever.

123
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,480
-Great. Great lesson.
-Yeah.

124
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,160
Seriously, Tony, you need to do something
about your anger.

125
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,240
It's gonna kill you one of these days.
Or someone else.

126
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,800
Why don't you channel it into sport
or something? You used to do loads.

127
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,640
Now you've let yourself go.

128
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,960
You know, staying up drinking every night.
God knows what else. It'll do you good.

129
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,400
-I have let myself go.
-[Matt] Yeah.

130
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,560
Yeah, and I tell you this,
I could drink half a bottle of whiskey

131
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,600
and still beat you at anything physical.

132
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,920
-Don't be silly.
-Course I could.

133
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,600
-Don't be silly.
-What, then?

134
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,120
-Table tennis?
-[laughs]

135
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,040
-Fine.
-Yeah?

136
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,480
-Yeah.
-[Matt] Not a lot of running.

137
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,360
No, no, it's fine. Don't worry about it.
Money on it? Money on it?

138
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,440
-Okay?
-Why not?

139
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:23,760
-100 quid.
-No, that's too--

140
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,160
-[clucks]
-Okay, yeah, all right, fine, 100 quid.

141
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,160
Yeah, let's do it.

142
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,280
I'll, um, phone the rackets club.
They've got a few table-- Oh, sorry, yeah.

143
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,480
Um--

144
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,680
Uh, this is Coleen, uh, the new intern.
She's Sandy's replacement. This is Tony.

145
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,520
-You all right?
-No, not really.

146
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,240
I'm absolutely gutted.

147
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,560
I'm starting at the bottom again. I worked
my way up to management in my old job.

148
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,160
-Where was your old job?
-[sighs] At the mini-mart.

149
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,640
But it went bust during the pandemic,
so I've had to take anything.

150
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,040
Even though the money's shit
and I don't know what I'm doing.

151
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,960
Well, we're all in the same boat, then.

152
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,400
Oh really?
Do you live with your alcoholic mum

153
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,520
'cause your dad's in prison
for beating up her brother who groped you?

154
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,200
Okay, so, um,
if you want to show her the ropes…

155
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,960
Oh, right.

156
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,880
Do you want to come and watch us
interview some swingers?

157
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,080
What's that?

158
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:21,520
What, swingers?

159
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,960
All of it.
I don't understand anything you just said.

160
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:32,640
Um, well-- Well, I'm a journalist
for the newspaper. Yeah?

161
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,040
So I talk to people
who've got an interesting story.

162
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,760
-Okay, why?
-Why?

163
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:40,800
Yeah.

164
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,520
Why do I talk to them?
Or why do I do any of it?

165
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,600
Yeah.

166
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,960
Just-- just, uh-- Just come with us.

167
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,120
Wow.

168
00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,320
I'm Geoff, and this is my partner, Vera.

169
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,080
Hi. Um, thanks for inviting us over.

170
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,680
Uh, so what is
the swingers club all about?

171
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,760
-Fun.
-Yeah.

172
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,400
-Via sex.
-[Geoff] Yeah.

173
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:15,440
I work at the crematorium,
which can be quite

174
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:21,560
boring and stuff, you know,
so, um, I like to let my hair down.

175
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,400
Hmm, he gets so frustrated.

176
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,520
I mean, so pent up.

177
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,520
-He has to let it out.
-Yeah.

178
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,440
[Vera] Yeah.

179
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:35,840
So we, uh-- We started this.
Um, all above board, legal age.

180
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,160
Oh, way over legal age.

181
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:41,280
Yeah, and all consensual.
We ask permission for everything.

182
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:46,160
No funny business,
and everything is 100% safe.

183
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,440
Condoms are compulsory.

184
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,040
No filming or photos.

185
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,240
We call it the Vegas Club.

186
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,320
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Have you heard that?

187
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,640
Yeah. But you're happy
for it to be in the paper?

188
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,760
Yeah. Fine with us.

189
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,320
But I won't give you
photos of other members.

190
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,920
Don't want them to be recognized
in the street if they don't want to be.

191
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,080
It's a lovely private club
for people who like a bit of fun.

192
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,320
Nothing weird about it.
Can't stress that enough.

193
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,600
-What it is, is it's a celebration.
-Yeah.

194
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,240
Yeah? Of body sharing.

195
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:24,000
But if someone
doesn't want full-on intercourse,

196
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,560
that is fine.

197
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,320
It's like our Mrs. Polden, yeah?

198
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,480
-She just likes Geoff to stroke it.
-[chuckles]

199
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,360
-[Geoff] She loves it.
-[Vera] Hmm.

200
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,280
Up to her.

201
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,240
Whereas her husband, Norman,
he wants everything up him, doesn't he?

202
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,440
-Like what?
-No.

203
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,800
-No?
-Dildos.

204
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,920
-Right.
-Mainly.

205
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,520
He brings his own.
They're not used on anyone else.

206
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,160
Hygiene is paramount. You can write that.

207
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,240
Yeah.

208
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,800
So how do people join?

209
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,360
Well, they just come along.
They don't even have to join in.

210
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,640
They can just watch the first time
to get the idea.

211
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,560
-Would you like to join?
-No. Thank you.

212
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,120
-No. Not my-- No.
-[Geoff] Sure?

213
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,160
-Yeah.
-[Geoff] Well, you'd be very welcome.

214
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,720
We have all sorts
if that's what you're worried about.

215
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,000
-Even got a little Chinese fella.
-[Vera chuckles]

216
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,880
Lovely Kim. He goes like the clappers,
he does. Doesn't he?

217
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,000
Oh. So fast. Good luck to him.

218
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:24,960
[exhales]

219
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,680
Anyway, as Geoff said, you know,
you can just watch if you want to.

220
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,840
-No.
-Yeah, like Mary Biddle.

221
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,640
Oh, God rest her soul.

222
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,720
[Geoff] Yeah.

223
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,680
-She was wheelchair-bound…
-Hmm.

224
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,080
…but we used to pop her in the corner
and she'd watch.

225
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,800
Yeah, she couldn't do much else.

226
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:43,960
She could help herself.

227
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,720
Yeah. Yeah. She had the one good hand.

228
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,760
-Now, do you want to take a picture?
-Yeah.

229
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,440
-Smile.
-[camera clicks]

230
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,680
Great. [sighs]

231
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,240
-All right?
-Hiya.

232
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,880
-Hey.
-Hey.

233
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,200
[sighs]

234
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,880
What were the swingers like?

235
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,600
Horrible.

236
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,760
I kept wanting to say,
"Sorry. Why are you telling us all this?"

237
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,640
"Keep it to yourself. It's weird."

238
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,400
At least they've had a life.
I've got absolutely nothing.

239
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,320
You know, I haven't even got a boyfriend,
and I'm fucking easy.

240
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:28,640
There's no rush.

241
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,480
I didn't meet my wife
till I was in my thirties.

242
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,840
-Your wife died, didn't she?
-Yeah.

243
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,320
Hmm. Really sorry.

244
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,520
Cheers.

245
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,800
Yeah, I wasn't looking, and there she was.

246
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,640
I was living in a shitty little bedsit
above a launderette.

247
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,840
I could hear the machines
going round all day.

248
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,040
And, uh, if it wasn't for Lisa,
I think I'd still be there.

249
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,120
Uh, I've never had money.
She earned loads more than me.

250
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:04,000
And her dad lent us the money
for a deposit on the house.

251
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,520
We paid off the mortgage
just before she got ill.

252
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,160
If I didn't own the house,
I'd be living under a bridge now.

253
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,080
Might still be better than my situation.

254
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,400
I'd be happy with a bedsit
at the moment.

255
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,200
I'm looking for a flat,
but money's a bit tight.

256
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,840
You should move in with Tony.
He's got that big house all to himself.

257
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,840
-Yeah, cheers, Kath.
-Wouldn't want to.

258
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,640
Wouldn't want to. Why not?

259
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,400
It's not that I need somewhere to live.
I need somewhere to live on my own.

260
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,960
Like, I need to be independent. I just--

261
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,600
I feel like a loser.

262
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,640
I've got a viewing later.
Would you come with me?

263
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,880
-Why?
-I feel like they talk down to me.

264
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,920
So you need someone fat
and grizzled and middle-aged?

265
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,920
Yeah.

266
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:49,640
I'm your man.

267
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,200
Always thought
I'd make a good estate agent.

268
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,360
-Definitely.
-You know why?

269
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,400
-Cold and uncaring.
-Trustworthy.

270
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,040
-[scoffs]
-People can tell

271
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,240
-I know what I'm talking about.
-No, they can't.

272
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,280
Oh yeah. I called what's-her-name,
the novelist, medium woman.

273
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,040
She's up for doing
a consultation with you.

274
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,440
Does she do palms, crystal ball, or what?

275
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,040
Said she's gonna read your aura
and tell you what to do.

276
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,400
I hope two people with the gift
don't cancel each other out.

277
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:16,760
What gift?

278
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,800
I'm a bit psychic.

279
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,920
Oh, are ya?

280
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000
No.

281
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,280
-How do you know?
-Bullshit, innit?

282
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,320
-You don't believe in all that nonsense?
-What?

283
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,520
The supernatural.
Mediums, fortune tellers.

284
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,080
Um,

285
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:36,560
I dunno.

286
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,560
There's gotta be something to it.
It feels like

287
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,440
if it was a con, it'd be illegal,
and they make loads of money.

288
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,640
Yeah, but if it actually worked,

289
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,840
they'd just do the lottery every week,
and they'd be billionaires, wouldn't they?

290
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,640
Huh.

291
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,840
Yeah, that's a good point.

292
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,280
I think it's for people
who are looking for something. Oh.

293
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,120
-[agent] Hi.
-Hello.

294
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,960
Sorry I'm late.
An old woman was found dead.

295
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,880
So we've got the dining space,
living room area,

296
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:11,920
the kitchen,

297
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,640
bedroom.

298
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,520
Very convenient to each other.

299
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,360
In my house, my kitchen's
bloody miles away from my bedroom.

300
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,080
Is this all I can afford?

301
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:28,040
Well, this is the size you're looking at
for the rent you want to pay.

302
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,320
This is quite a cheap area, too, so it's
bigger than you'll get anywhere else.

303
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,000
What's the area like?

304
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:36,720
Yeah, uh--

305
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:42,360
Uh, I wouldn't usually mention this,
but it's full of greasy spoons

306
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,520
and, uh, fast food takeaways,
so, you know…

307
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,280
-Oh my God.
-Yeah.

308
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,840
Okay. Let's go before--

309
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,200
-Lovely.
-Yeah, bye.

310
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,120
-No. I'll see you out.
-Yeah.

311
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,600
-Yeah.
-Lovely.

312
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,120
All right. I'll see you soon?
Yeah? Get all this tied up.

313
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:18,720
No good?

314
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,240
Depressing.

315
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:23,760
[Ken] Here he is.

316
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,800
I've written my TV column. It's all about
Simon Cowell's newest face.

317
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,680
-Cheers.
-Who's this?

318
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,320
Oh, uh, Coleen, this is Ken.

319
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,080
Why so glum?

320
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:38,120
Where to start. I'm 30.
I live with my alcoholic mum.

321
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,920
And I earn crap money,
so the only way I can be independent

322
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,960
is to live in a tiny hovel above a shop.

323
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,440
Oh, cry me a river.
Thought she'd never stop.

324
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,040
Look, if you're homeless,
I've got a flat above my office.

325
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,360
What? It's empty?

326
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,480
Yeah. I use it to audition the young lads.
Wink, wink.

327
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,480
Or wank, wank, if you get what I mean.

328
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,320
-I think I know what you're suggesting.
-You just said it.

329
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,800
I just stopped all that
when coronavirus came along. Scary.

330
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,040
I preferred AIDS.
You knew where you were with that.

331
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,040
You actually had to do you-know-what
with someone.

332
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:11,480
Coronavirus? Some fucker just walks
past you and coughs and you're screwed!

333
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,200
Well, I am. I'm high-risk. Asthma.

334
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,840
I was high risk with AIDS.
That's 'cause I liked it up the arse.

335
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,800
My choice!

336
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,040
Anyway, flat's yours if you want it.
I'd change the sheets if I were you.

337
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,120
See ya.

338
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,040
Cheers, Ken.

339
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,720
-Hello.
-Hiya.

340
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,840
Tonic.

341
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,640
And a lemon.

342
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:49,600
Cheers.

343
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,000
-How's it going?
-Yeah, all right.

344
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,360
Hello, pretty.

345
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,960
Pretty. Hello, pretty girl.

346
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,480
Hello. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Where's the kisses? Who's a good girl?

347
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,040
What?

348
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:18,480
-[Tony] Nothing. Don't forget the lemon.
-I won't forget the lemon.

349
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,720
[Tony laughs]

350
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,560
[both laugh]

351
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,360
-Who's that?
-[Tony] Lionel.

352
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,560
Right. Lionel. I can't cut him now, can I?

353
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,880
Or throw him away.

354
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,440
Stop!

355
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,320
Stop drawing faces on the fruit and veg!

356
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,200
[Tony laughs]

357
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,520
I've done you a gin and tonic.

358
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,120
I don't know what you want to do
with the lemon. I'll get you some ice.

359
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,040
[Emma] Okay.

360
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,520
-You've drawn a face on it?
-That's Lionel.

361
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,440
Dead.

362
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,800
-[Emma] Are you getting the ice?
-Yeah. [sighs]

363
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,560
-[Ken] Only me.
-Bloody hell, Ken. Do you not knock?

364
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,600
Don't worry about that.
You got nothing I want to see. Trust me.

365
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,320
No, I'm gonna be popping in all the time.
Don't you worry. We'll be besties.

366
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:29,000
I get ever so bored in the office.
There's nothing at all coming in for him.

367
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,760
Oh, the stories I could tell you
about this place.

368
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:36,240
Absolutely dripping with memories.
Literally dripping. Throw that towel away.

369
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,400
Anyway, I'll let you get on. Ta-ra.

370
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:41,600
[sighs]

371
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:46,840
-All right, Brian?
-Mustn't grumble.

372
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,040
Here to see James?

373
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,600
-Where is the little bugger?
-He's in the bath, but come in.

374
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:51,560
Oy.

375
00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,920
-[James] What?
-All right, boy?

376
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,320
-Mum?
-[June] What, love?

377
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,840
-I'm having a bath.
-Good boy.

378
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,480
Bloody steamy in here, innit?

379
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,120
Yeah. Told him he has it too hot.
Bad for his testicles.

380
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,280
Makes you sterile.

381
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:11,880
Ah. Do you mind?

382
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,360
Yeah, they do look red, mate.

383
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,800
Oh, yeah. Put a bit of cold
on them, James.

384
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,040
Can we stop talking
about my bloody testicles? They're fine.

385
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,560
Some cake, Brian?

386
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,440
-Oh, yes, please. Thank you.
-James?

387
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,520
-I'm having a fucking bath!
-Is that a yes or a no? [laughs]

388
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,560
What kind of cake?

389
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,120
Chocolate gateau
with crumbled Flakes on top.

390
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,040
Mm.

391
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,080
Yes, then, please.

392
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,640
I've gotta get my own place.

393
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,160
-Why?
-Why?

394
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,320
Living the dream, mate. Wish I had a woman
bringing me cake in the bath.

395
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,920
[James] Not your mum though.

396
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,280
I'm not needed here anymore.
Mum's got Lenny.

397
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,280
I'm just a big, fat lump taking up space.

398
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,920
And your mum shouldn't be telling you off
for ruining your testicles in the bath.

399
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:04,440
-You can move in with me if you want.
-Really? Do you have a spare room?

400
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:08,280
-Yeah, if you can get in there.
-What do you mean if I can get in it?

401
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,440
It's full of shit.

402
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,040
You know what?

403
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:13,480
Let's do it.

404
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,120
Time for me to become a man.

405
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,680
Will you help me break the news to my mum?

406
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,280
Hmm.

407
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,400
Let's see.

408
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:29,880
Interesting.

409
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:30,920
What?

410
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,520
Strong, confident, determined

411
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,080
on the outside.

412
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,840
But on the inside,
you're vulnerable and sensitive.

413
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,840
You're lonely.

414
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,960
It's tough, isn't it?
Being a strong woman in a man's world.

415
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,720
You feel you've lost a little of yourself,

416
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,920
and you see needing comfort
as a weakness they'll pounce on.

417
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,440
So you deny you need it.

418
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:02,600
But you do need it, dear.

419
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:04,800
Everyone does.

420
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,360
[sentimental music playing]

421
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,440
-Mum.
-Yeah?

422
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,680
-I've got something to tell you.
-Oh, I've known for ages, darling.

423
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,120
What?

424
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,720
Oh, sorry, what were you gonna say?

425
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,960
Okay, um, so I think it's time
for me to fly the nest.

426
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,200
Brian's got a spare room.
I'm gonna move in with him.

427
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,080
Okay. Well, I'll help you
move in tomorrow, then.

428
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,440
-Tomorrow?
-Yeah.

429
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,880
Great.

430
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,880
I will go and get dressed, then.

431
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:02,880
Yeah.

432
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,640
-Aw.
-I know.

433
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,600
I'll put a snooker table in his room.

434
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,640
-It won't fit, will it?
-Just a little one.

435
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,680
[Ken] You've got the lock on!

436
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,560
Yeah, I'm in bed.

437
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,160
It's Ken.

438
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,520
Yeah, I guessed that.

439
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,680
[Ken] I've had an idea for a new showbiz
gossip piece called Careless Whispers.

440
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,120
Okay. Tell me tomorrow.

441
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,200
Yeah, it's basically
a list of all the people I know

442
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,760
who claim they've
wanked off George Michael.

443
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,760
[sighs] Okay. I'm going to sleep.

444
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,480
-[Ken] Good idea though, isn't it?
-Yeah.

445
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:43,640
[Ken] Yeah. Night night.

446
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,280
-Yeah, night, Ken!
-[Ken] What?

447
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:47,360
-Night, Ken!
-[Ken] Yeah, all right.

448
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:51,920
See you tomorrow.

449
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,120
-See ya.
-See you.

450
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,120
-Don't bother getting up.
-Hmm.

451
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,200
Hmm.

452
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,240
-Cheers.
-Bye.

453
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,160
Bye.

454
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000
[door closes]

455
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,080
♪ Oh, lay me down gently ♪

456
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,520
♪ Oh, lay me down low ♪

457
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,440
♪ I fear I am broken ♪

458
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,320
♪ And won't mend, I know ♪

459
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,880
♪ There's one things when ♪

460
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,120
♪ The stars light the skies ♪

461
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,040
[whimpers]

462
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:35,840
♪ Who now will sing me lullabies? ♪

463
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,440
[toy squeaks]

464
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,160
♪ Oh, now who will sing me lullabies? ♪

465
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,600
-[laughs] Is that a new toy?
-[toy squeaks]

466
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,840
[Lisa] I'm doing your accounts!

467
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,920
[Tony] I would never get bored with this.

468
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,880
Unless I was working.

469
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:50,840
-Yeah.
-[Tony] Then it'd be annoying.

470
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,440
-Yeah. It is annoying.
-[Tony laughs]

471
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,400
-Can you take the squeaker out?
-[Tony] No, look at her.

472
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,840
♪ Oh, angels in heaven ♪

473
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:00,760
Hello.

474
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:05,040
♪ Don't you care for me at all? ♪

475
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,880
-♪ You've heard my heart breaking ♪
-Squeak it.

476
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,480
Squeak it.

477
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,600
-♪ For it rang through the skies ♪
-Oh! [laughs]

478
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:20,000
♪ So why won't you sing me lullabies? ♪

479
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,480
♪ Oh, why won't you sing me ♪

480
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,600
Lullabies? ♪

481
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:36,680
[Tony] Bedtime.

482
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,840
♪ I lay here ♪

483
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,640
♪ I'm weeping ♪

484
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,240
♪ For the stars, they have come ♪

485
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,360
♪ I lay here not sleeping ♪

486
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,880
♪ Now the long night has begun ♪

487
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,440
♪ The man in the moon ♪

488
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,720
♪ Oh, he can't help but cry ♪

489
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:38,000
♪ There's no one to sing me lullabies ♪

490
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,560
♪ Oh, there's no one to sing me ♪

491
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:48,400
♪ Lullabies ♪

492
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:55,000
♪ So lay me down gently ♪