1
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,480
<i>Be strong.</i>

2
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,760
<i>Be nice to your friends.</i>

3
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,280
<i>You always love it
when you do a nice thing, don't you?</i>

4
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,720
[Lisa] <i>I mean... you know, admittedly,</i>

5
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,360
<i>it's usually to apologize
for having said something awful, but...</i>

6
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,760
<i>Well, not awful, but too honest.</i>

7
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,320
<i>Not always the best policy.</i>

8
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,560
[dog whining]

9
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,560
You want your breakfast?

10
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,040
- Yeah?
- [Brandy whining]

11
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,160
Come on, then.

12
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,000
["Top of the World"
by the Carpenters plays]

13
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:59,240
<i>♪ Such a feeling's coming over me ♪</i>

14
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:04,600
<i>♪ There is wonder
In most everything I see ♪</i>

15
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,840
<i>♪ Not a cloud in the sky ♪</i>

16
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,280
<i>♪ Got the sun in my eyes ♪</i>

17
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:15,240
<i>♪ And I won't be surprised
If it's a dream ♪</i>

18
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,240
<i>♪ Everything I want the world to be ♪</i>

19
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:25,560
<i>♪ Is now coming true
Especially for me ♪</i>

20
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,560
<i>♪ And the reason is clear ♪</i>

21
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,240
<i>♪ It's because you are here ♪</i>

22
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:35,920
<i>♪ You're the nearest thing to heaven
That I've seen ♪</i>

23
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:41,440
<i>♪ I'm on the top of the world
Lookin' down on creation ♪</i>

24
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:46,200
<i>♪ And the only explanation
I can find ♪</i>

25
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:51,520
<i>♪ Is the love that I've found
Ever since you've been around ♪</i>

26
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,640
<i>♪ Your love's put me
At the top of the world ♪</i>

27
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:07,200
<i>♪ Something in the wind
Has learned my name ♪</i>

28
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,320
<i>♪ And it's telling me
That things are not the same ♪</i>

29
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:17,960
<i>♪ In the leaves on the trees
And the touch of the breeze ♪</i>

30
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:22,800
<i>♪ There's a pleasin' sense of happiness
For me ♪</i>

31
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,960
<i>♪ There is only one wish
On my mind ♪</i>

32
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:33,080
<i>♪ When this day is through
I hope that I will find ♪</i>

33
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:38,720
<i>♪ That tomorrow will be
Just the same for you and me ♪</i>

34
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:43,520
<i>♪ All I need will be mine
If you are here ♪</i>

35
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:49,000
<i>♪ I'm on the top of the world
Lookin' down on creation ♪</i>

36
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:53,720
<i>♪ And the only explanation
I can find ♪</i>

37
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:59,080
<i>♪ Is the love that I've found
Ever since you've been around ♪</i>

38
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:03,880
<i>♪ Your love's put me
At the top of the world ♪</i>

39
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:09,640
<i>♪ I'm on the top of the world
Looking down on creation ♪</i>

40
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:14,360
<i>♪ And the only explanation
I can find ♪</i>

41
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:19,640
<i>♪ Is the love that I've found
Ever since you've been around ♪</i>

42
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:24,720
<i>♪ Your love's put me
At the top of the world ♪</i>

43
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,760
[doorbell ringing]

44
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,280
- All right?
- [Tony] Yeah.

45
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,640
[Tony sighs]

46
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,160
That's from last night.

47
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,680
And that's the last one in the house,
so...

48
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,320
Got to sort myself out. Get better.

49
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,120
What we doing today?

50
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,400
- "Tambury's Oldest Woman."
- Right. How old is she?

51
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,680
Hundred.
She's got a telegram from the Queen.

52
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,360
- Are you all right?
- Huh? Yeah.

53
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,960
[sighs] Just... feeling a bit low.

54
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,280
- Come on, mate. You were doing so well.
- [Tony] Just feeling sorry for myself.

55
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,760
And guilty about that.

56
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,640
I meet people every day
with worse lives than me,

57
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,480
and they get on with it.

58
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,480
I'm gonna try and be more zen.

59
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,840
I'm not going to let cunts wind me up.

60
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,520
Is that a Buddha quote?

61
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000
Exactly.

62
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,160
How's it going with the nurse?

63
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:30,240
Oh, um...

64
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,200
We're just friends, so...

65
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,080
- Oh.
- [Tony] No, it's fine.

66
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,360
She said I wasn't over Lisa.

67
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,320
She's right.

68
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,200
Well, don't miss the boat.
She won't wait forever.

69
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:43,960
I still miss Lisa.

70
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:46,920
All the time.

71
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,720
But she wouldn't want me to,
not like this. Not in this much pain.

72
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,200
I'm...

73
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,880
getting a bit better every day.

74
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,200
Come on.

75
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,920
[Tony] <i>How did you feel
when you got the telegram?</i>

76
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,880
What?

77
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,880
[raises voice] How did you feel
when you got the telegram from the Queen?

78
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,320
Same as I feel every other day.

79
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:16,160
Dreadful. In pain.
Wishing I hadn't lived through the night.

80
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,040
The Queen, though?

81
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,240
Some butler sent this.

82
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,680
What advice would you give to someone
to have a long life like yours?

83
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:26,040
Don't.

84
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,920
It's fucking awful.

85
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,000
It hurts just to be alive.

86
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,560
Here's my typical month:

87
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,120
first week, diarrhea.

88
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,320
The next three weeks?

89
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,120
I can't shit at all!

90
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,080
You must've seen a lot, though?
A hundred years.

91
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,760
I was born in Tambury.
I'll die in Tambury - very soon, I hope.

92
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,480
I've seen fuck-all!

93
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,480
I may as well have been a tree.

94
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,600
What do your family think of this?

95
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,680
I haven't got a family, they all died.

96
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,840
Right... Your friends here, though?

97
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,000
[exasperated sigh] They're not friends.

98
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,880
They're cunts.

99
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,320
All of them.

100
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,160
I hate every single one of them.

101
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,320
- [distant coughing]
- And when I outlive one of them,

102
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,400
they bring a new cunt in
to take their place.

103
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:17,520
Cunts!

104
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,040
- Good. Take a picture.
- [Lenny] Yeah!

105
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,200
Er, smile.

106
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,880
- Bollocks.
- [camera clicks]

107
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,280
[Lenny] Great.

108
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,920
- [shaver whirs]
- [knocking on door]

109
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,120
- [Matt] You all right?
- Hey. Is it all right if I...?

110
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,120
Just a mad rush getting out
of the house this morning, you know.

111
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,040
I know you've been sleeping here.

112
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:50,960
Right.

113
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,240
Look, I'm shacked up with June now,

114
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,200
so my flat is just sitting there empty.

115
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,240
And it's council,
so I don't want to give that up.

116
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,480
Well, you're welcome to stay there
as long as you need.

117
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,560
That means a lot. Thanks, Lenny.

118
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,160
What happened, anyway?

119
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,000
[Matt] I don't think anything happened,
like, specific.

120
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,240
I think she just needed a moment
to take a deep breath and...

121
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,200
figure it all out, and, uh, yeah...

122
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,600
I'm giving her that moment.

123
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,400
- A favor for a favor?
- Mm-hmm.

124
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,400
Getting a bit of pressure from June
to get her kid some work experience.

125
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,440
Uh... um, we can't afford it.

126
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,880
- I'm sorry.
- No, just work experience, no money.

127
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,240
She just wants him out of the house,
I think.

128
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,320
Right.

129
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,640
Uh...

130
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,840
Yes, of course.

131
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:37,920
- Great.
- [Matt] Yeah.

132
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,320
I'll tell June. Thanks, Matt.

133
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,720
Thank you, Lenny, yeah.

134
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:48,560
Hiya.

135
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:49,840
- [Matt] Hi.
- You busy?

136
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,360
No, come in.

137
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,720
Sorry to hear about your marriage ending
and all that.

138
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:04,800
Thanks, yeah.

139
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,560
You're a very lovely man, though.

140
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,520
- Sorry, what...?
- Kind. Intelligent.

141
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,240
Smart.

142
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,280
'Andsome.

143
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:18,840
Perfect.

144
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,840
[splutters] Thanks.

145
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,720
We've kept this relationship
completely professional until now,

146
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,080
and I appreciate that,

147
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,800
but I just want you to know
that if you ever did make a move, I...

148
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:29,920
A move?

149
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:32,840
[Kath] Yeah, you know.

150
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,040
I've always liked you.

151
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,520
So, you know, if ever you wanted to, um...

152
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:41,560
meet up...

153
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:43,560
outside of work...

154
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,320
you know, for some fun?

155
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,400
Then... I'm up for it.

156
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,880
Are you?

157
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,240
See you later.

158
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,640
[Tony] Don't sit in my chair.

159
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,120
You all right?

160
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,920
Kath just said she likes me.

161
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:29,960
Good.

162
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,800
- No, like, she fancies me.
- [sniggers]

163
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:33,800
What, are you 13?

164
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,280
It's awkward.

165
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,160
Don't worry about it.

166
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,120
All right.

167
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,120
What about you, you OK?

168
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,440
Yeah, I'm just trying to be more zen.

169
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,400
Wow... OK.

170
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,720
Um... Well, I tell you what,

171
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,480
you should come to the meditation class
I go to after work.

172
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,640
Every Tuesday.

173
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,200
It's a bit of yoga,

174
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,256
a bit of... Don't shake your head,
you haven't heard what it is yet.

175
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,960
- Yoga, a bit of philosophy...
- Mm.

176
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,720
- ...which you like, don't you?
- Yeah.

177
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,040
Right. So, what do you think?

178
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:04,120
- Don't just...
- No.

179
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,560
Come on, please?

180
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,800
I'm having a shit time as well, OK?

181
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,840
I'm alone. I'm sleeping on a floor.

182
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:12,920
[Tony] That's zen.

183
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,320
- Uh...
- Like Mr. Miyagi. They love a floor.

184
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,640
"They"? You... [frustrated sigh]

185
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,000
Right.

186
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,080
- Please?
- Oh, for fuck's sake.

187
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000
All right.

188
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,520
- Thank you.
- Is that it?

189
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,560
Yeah. Yes, that's...

190
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,080
- fine.
- Good.

191
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,680
Don't tell anyone about... Kath.

192
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,120
I'd already forgotten that.

193
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,240
- Perfect.
- All right?

194
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,960
- Yeah, good. I'm... Yeah.
- Good.

195
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,920
<i>Don't </i>tell anyone?

196
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,040
[sighs]

197
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,720
See, all respectable again.

198
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,440
- Had a bit of bed head in the back there.
- [Tony] Hiya.

199
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,280
- Hi.
- Hi, Dad.

200
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,440
[Tony sighs]

201
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,080
I, uh... just interviewed
a hundred-year-old woman.

202
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,440
- Oh, yeah?
- Funny.

203
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:15,920
And, uh...

204
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,160
Lenny asked me
how it was going with the nurse.

205
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,480
I said, uh... we're just friends 'cause...

206
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,360
you'd said I wasn't over... Lisa.

207
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,560
And did you say you agreed?

208
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,760
Yeah, course. Yeah.

209
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,000
What did he say?

210
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,480
He said I shouldn't wait around forever
or I'll miss the boat. [chuckles]

211
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,600
Mm...

212
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,080
[Tony] So...

213
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,480
Have you not told him my name?

214
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:48,960
What do you mean?

215
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,240
He said, "How's it going with <i>the nurse?"</i>

216
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:52,560
[Tony] Uh...

217
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,920
Yeah, I'm sure I have.
That wasn't really the point of the story.

218
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:57,760
- [grunts]
- Joe?

219
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:58,960
What?

220
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,040
You're Joe.

221
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:02,360
Joe, your brother?

222
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,640
Hello, mate.

223
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:09,240
I do look a bit like him. I mean,
he's been dead ten years, but still...

224
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,960
What, Joe's dead?

225
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,120
[Tony sighs]

226
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,680
Oh, that's right, yeah. Joe's dead.
Yeah. Lovely fella.

227
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,600
So, you're Joe's boy?

228
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,680
I'm your boy, Dad.

229
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,000
Am I Joe?

230
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,120
Fuck me.

231
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,000
And just for the record, I didn't declare
that we would just be friends.

232
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,240
When I said
I didn't think you were over your wife,

233
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,680
I just thought it might, I don't know,
gee you up a bit to be ready.

234
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,080
Not just say, "Do you know what?

235
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,160
That's all right.
Let's just be friends, eh?"

236
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,040
Well, all I was doing was
agreeing with your observation

237
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,200
that I wasn't over Lisa...

238
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,480
Do you know what? It's fine.
Just don't worry about it.

239
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:45,680
- Right.
- [nurse] You know.

240
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,440
- All right, gorgeous?
- [nurse] Oh!

241
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,040
Hiya.

242
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,560
- [man] Where is she?
- [nurse ]She's in her room.

243
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,920
- All right. See you later, babe.
- [nurse chuckles]

244
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,480
Who's that?

245
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,200
Simon. He's the son
of one of the new residents.

246
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,280
Right.

247
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,000
He's nice.

248
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:05,920
He winked.

249
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,400
He said, "See you later, babe,"
and winked.

250
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,480
So?

251
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,120
So... [chuckles]

252
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,840
Right. Anyway...

253
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,840
I'd better get on.

254
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,400
See you later, babe.

255
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,080
[Tony] I feel... panicked

256
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:28,880
all the time.

257
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,080
Like... I'm going to do the wrong thing.

258
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,680
So... I don't do anything.

259
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,200
And that's why I think I'm going to
blow it with the nurse, but...

260
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,800
Concentrate on getting better.
She'll wait.

261
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,680
If you want her to.

262
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,520
I'm not sure I'm worth...

263
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,240
waiting for. I'm embarrassed...

264
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,760
that I ever acted the way I did.

265
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,040
Whatever gets you better.

266
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,360
Yeah. I'm not better, but...

267
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,080
I'm not gonna stick my head
in the oven.

268
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,320
I doubt you know where the oven is.

269
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,120
- Good one!
- [Anne chuckles]

270
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,000
You were in pain.

271
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,240
Yeah, that's what
I'm embarrassed about, really.

272
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,680
Dying of cancer,

273
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:17,880
that's being in pain.

274
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,360
Actual pain.

275
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,280
I felt a bit sorry for myself.

276
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:22,840
I still do.

277
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:24,520
But, uh...

278
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,520
I realized that...

279
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,320
death will come soon enough, so...

280
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,080
And there's nothing to fear about it
because...

281
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,080
you know, no feelings to worry about.

282
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,000
Not mine, anyway. Just...

283
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,520
you know, peace and quiet.

284
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,880
I am trying to work out if there's a way
I can still carry on annoying people,

285
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,440
after I die, but I haven't...

286
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,136
- [Anne laughs]
- I haven't cracked it yet.

287
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,160
So, I'm just gonna have to make the most
of that when I'm alive.

288
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,200
- It's a hobby.
- Yeah.

289
00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,880
Exactly.

290
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,040
Just to arseholes, though. That's...

291
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,920
you know, I'm trying to be nice
to the people...

292
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,440
who are nice to me, at least.

293
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,000
I realized that everyone's struggling,

294
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,600
and, um, I feel
that I should help the people...

295
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,680
who helped me.

296
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:21,520
I'm actually going to a meditation...
yoga... thing tonight.

297
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,360
It's a favor...

298
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,840
for my brother-in-law, who...

299
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,240
is separated from his wife, and...

300
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,680
he could do with the company, so...

301
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,720
you know.

302
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,040
Lovely.

303
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,280
Mm.

304
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,080
[door opens]

305
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:46,600
Oh...

306
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,640
Coffee. I am gasping.

307
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,160
- Come in.
- [Roxy] What?

308
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:53,800
Nothing.

309
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,480
- What, me just letting myself in?
- Well,

310
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,800
some would've knocked.
I could've been naked.

311
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,720
Uh... I could see through the door
you weren't naked.

312
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:03,960
Well, that doesn't make any sense.

313
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,880
If I had have been naked, you'd look
through the door and see me naked.

314
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,640
Yeah, and I wouldn't have come in.

315
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,920
But you'd have seen me naked.

316
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,560
[chuckles] Wouldn't have bothered me.

317
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,680
That's all right, then.
What would you have done?

318
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,560
- What do you mean?
- You come to the door,

319
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,840
you see me naked, you don't come in,

320
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:23,960
what then?

321
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,360
I'd have knocked.

322
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,880
So, now, I'm here naked,

323
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:32,120
I hear a knock, I look up,
I see you looking through at me,

324
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,840
what do you do, fucking wave?

325
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,160
[chuckling] I don't know!

326
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,800
Maybe I wouldn't knock,
maybe I'd just sneak off.

327
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,080
Anyway...

328
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:45,280
why are you sat at a table naked
like some weird Monty Python sketch?

329
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,720
That's my business.

330
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,280
My house, my rules.

331
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,840
- Do you sit at the table naked, then?
- No.

332
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,680
I've got a dog.
I don't want her seeing that. [sniggers]

333
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,480
What do you miss about her, though?

334
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,080
Everything. You know, I...

335
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,000
I miss her liking me.

336
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,880
Um...

337
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,480
I hate to think
I've upset her in some way.

338
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,160
Or that she just doesn't love me anymore.

339
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,120
Um...

340
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:20,840
Don't worry about it.

341
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,680
What do you mean?

342
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,480
Is that advice?

343
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:28,560
Yeah.

344
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,840
Just don't worry about it, mate.

345
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,600
Yeah... Just not that easy, though, is it?
[chuckles]

346
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,120
You know, it's like saying,
"Don't worry that you're bleeding."

347
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,480
You know, just by saying that,
it doesn't go away.

348
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,400
I was bleeding from the anus
for a month last year

349
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,920
and I never went to the doctor.

350
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,320
Right.

351
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,280
It just went away.

352
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,920
But, I mean,
you're the doctor in this, aren't you?

353
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,520
So are you saying
I shouldn't go to you?

354
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,160
No, of course not.
What I'm saying is you've got to ignore

355
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,600
worrying about her and start doing stuff.

356
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:04,720
[Matt] Yeah.

357
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,040
You should come out with me,
Ratty, and the Nonce.

358
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,720
- The Nonce?
- Real name Ian Trouton,

359
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,040
but we call him "the Nonce"
or "Pedo Ian."

360
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,720
I mean, he's not a real kiddy fiddler.
It's a... it's an in-joke.

361
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,800
Oh. [chuckles]

362
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,800
He fucked a dwarf once
when he was off his head.

363
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,880
[laughs]

364
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,280
He said it was like fucking a child.

365
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,840
But legal. Although, should it be? Urgh.

366
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,040
Um... I would go to the doctor
about your anus, by the way.

367
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,000
Hiya. Could I just use your bathroom?

368
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,120
- [sighs] All right. Upstairs.
- Ta.

369
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,040
[Brandy whines]

370
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,360
[snaps fingers]

371
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,040
<i>All right. Come here,
I want to show you something.</i>

372
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,680
<i>Tony, do you want to explain
what this is, please?</i>

373
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,320
<i>Oh, um...</i>

374
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,640
<i>I'm holding a sweepstake
on how long the marriage will last,</i>

375
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,240
<i>so you can bet on what you think.</i>

376
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,080
<i>Choices are: "under a month,"
"one to six months,"</i>

377
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,440
<i>"six months to a year,"</i>

378
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,760
<i>"one to two years," "two to four years,"
or "four to ten years."</i>

379
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,520
<i>- I put "four to ten years."
- Oh, thanks.</i>

380
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:18,680
<i>- You're welcome.
- Yeah.</i>

381
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,160
<i>I'll go "two to four" myself.</i>

382
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,640
[guffawing]

383
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,680
<i>- </i>[Tony] <i>Fivers. Give us your fiver.
- </i>[Matt] <i>"Under a month," that's mine.</i>

384
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:30,840
[Tony] Right...

385
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,080
What's he doing?

386
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,080
Good girl.

387
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,000
Mate, I've got to go out.

388
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,400
[Pat] All right, see you later.
I'll lock up.

389
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,520
No, you won't. Get out.

390
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,520
- [water sloshing]
- [Tony] What the fuck?

391
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,240
Fuck me!
I thought you were having a piss.

392
00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,280
No, I've got to go out after,
so I thought I'd have a wash.

393
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:01,440
[Tony] Unbelievable!

394
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:02,960
Get out.

395
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,240
Out!

396
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,600
Well, turn round, then!

397
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:09,880
Fucking hell!

398
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:12,120
All clean!

399
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,080
Do you know how fucking mental it is,
a postman having a bath on his round?

400
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,120
- Why?
- It just is.

401
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,720
There's nothing weird
about helping out a mate.

402
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,280
I need to see a potential flat share
later, don't I? I've been homeless.

403
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,160
Been sleeping in the depot.

404
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,280
I didn't want to turn up all scruffy,
did I, stinking of BO?

405
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:32,480
Oh, this is typical.
I try and be more chilled.

406
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,256
The reason I'm in a hurry is
that I've got a meditation class tonight

407
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,640
to try and be more zen,

408
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,520
and then shit like this happens
to wind me the fuck up again.

409
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,760
Don't think the Dalai Lama'd be like that,
would he?

410
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,576
Let's see, shall we?
Go to his house tomorrow

411
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,680
and start washing your fucking arse
in his sink, see what he does.

412
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,880
- Is that my aftershave?
- Yeah. Nice, innit?

413
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,240
- Fuckin' hell.
- Expensive.

414
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,640
Out.

415
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
See ya, mate.

416
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,560
Prat.

417
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,160
Just wiggle it.

418
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,440
And if you want
to get into your positions, please.

419
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,720
[Matt] Hey.

420
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,800
Hi, Matt. Hi.

421
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,200
- Simon, this is Tony. He's...
- Welcome.

422
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,520
He's not done this before,
so go easy on him.

423
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,600
Nothing to be scared of.
We're a very friendly tribe.

424
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,080
- OK.
- All right.

425
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:22,880
Where's your mind?

426
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,160
- Where's my...?
- Where's your mind?

427
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,320
Don't think about it too much,
just answer.

428
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,240
Uh... in my brain.

429
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,320
- No.
- [Tony] No?

430
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:32,800
In my gut.

431
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,400
- No.
- I don't know. Where's my mind?

432
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:37,880
It's in...

433
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,280
every cell of your body.

434
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,720
OK.

435
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,720
I want you to really think about that.

436
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,880
On all fours.

437
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,200
- Please.
- OK.

438
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:53,920
- Shoes off, Tony.
- No.

439
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:55,720
- No?
- No.

440
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,480
- [Tony sighs]
- [chimes tinkling]

441
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,560
So, let's start with a deep breath.

442
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:07,800
[inhales deeply]

443
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,360
Inhale.

444
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,200
[class inhales]

445
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,600
Lift your tailbone.

446
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,840
Heart out, push away the floor.

447
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,160
- And exhale, sigh out the pain.
- [loud exhaling]

448
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,640
And shine your heart forward.

449
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,120
And gaze into your pelvis.

450
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,880
And look out of your third eye.
[sniffs]

451
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,800
- You hear that?
- Yeah, just...

452
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,680
Let's do that ten times. [Simon sniffs]

453
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,560
[Simon slurps] Ah!

454
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:40,680
Are you joking?

455
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,600
[slurping] Mm.

456
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,560
Green tea. Delicious.

457
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,280
- Sounds it!
- Shh! Tony...

458
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:48,720
[slurping]

459
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,120
[sniffing]

460
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,200
Fucking hell.

461
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,560
You OK, Tony?

462
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:53,680
- Yep.
- [Simon] Yeah?

463
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:55,360
OK, good.

464
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:56,880
[sniffs, snorts]

465
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,080
Oh, fuck!

466
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,640
- Just don't listen to it.
- [Simon] And keep going, guys.

467
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,960
- [sniffs]
- Got a little cold?

468
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,560
Never. No.

469
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,120
- Oh!
- [Simon] Illness is a state of mind.

470
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,440
I don't want to feel ill,
I don't want to feel pain.

471
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,440
[sarcastic laugh]
You're going about it the wrong way.

472
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,360
- Please don't.
- Any bad things that have happened to you,

473
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,000
you must've welcomed them in.

474
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,880
No. No way.

475
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,320
We have a choice. [sniffs]

476
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,320
Fuck that!

477
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,280
- Please.
- [Tony] That's ridiculous.

478
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:28,560
Wind chimes? Slurping? Sniffing?
How is that relaxing?

479
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:29,680
It's disgusting.

480
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,520
I'm off to get pissed out of my mind
in every cell of my body.

481
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,360
See you next Tuesday.

482
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,160
You're not wrong there,
you fucking snot-curdling cunt!

483
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,240
OK. Um...

484
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,480
- Everyone into plank, please.
<i>- </i>[Matt] <i>Great.</i>

485
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,880
Thank you.
What was that, about two minutes?

486
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,280
I don't know, I couldn't.

487
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,280
I thought you were feeling better.

488
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,560
I am now.

489
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,040
["These Days" by Jackson Browne plays]

490
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,000
♪ <i>Well, I've been out walkin' ♪</i>

491
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:23,880
<i>♪ I don't do that much talkin'
These days ♪</i>

492
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:31,120
<i>♪ These days ♪</i>

493
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,920
<i>♪ These days, I seem to think a lot ♪</i>

494
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:41,840
<i>♪ About the things that I forgot to do ♪</i>

495
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,440
<i>♪ For you ♪</i>

496
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:51,160
<i>♪ And all the times
I had the chance to... ♪</i>

497
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,080
[Tony] <i>Fucking hell, look at that!
Pissed again!</i>

498
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,160
<i>- Pfft!</i>
- [Lisa laughs]

499
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,760
<i>- Oh, like you're sober? Don't.
- </i>[Tony] <i>Yeah, but I can hold my drink.</i>

500
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,200
[slurring] <i>Yeah, but you're a man,
you've got a bigger liver!</i>

501
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,680
- [Tony chuckles]<i> "Lidver..."</i>
- [Lisa giggles]

502
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,880
[Lisa] <i>When we get through two bottles
of wine a night,</i>

503
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,040
<i>it's killing me quicker
than it's killing you!</i>

504
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,000
[Tony] <i>Well, one of us
has got to die first.</i>

505
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000
<i>- What, so it might as well be me?</i>
- [Tony] <i>I'll drink to that!</i>

506
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,280
<i>Oh, right. OK. Cheers.
This is to me dying first.</i>

507
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,800
<i>- </i>[Tony] <i>Cheers!
- Cheers. </i>[Lisa laughs]

508
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,480
[sniffles]