1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:00:14,965 --> 00:00:16,325 Oh! Oh my god. 3 00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:18,805 Oh, my... I'm not even in the house. 4 00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,725 I'm fucking soaked. 5 00:00:20,805 --> 00:00:23,485 I'm not even in the house. How long have you had that there? 6 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:27,125 About 40 minutes, right. 'Cause I was just waiting like a dog 7 00:00:27,205 --> 00:00:28,541 - at the window. - You prick. 8 00:00:28,565 --> 00:00:30,405 I can't believe that I'm soaked! 9 00:00:30,485 --> 00:00:32,685 - Ahh, tough day at work? - No. 10 00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:34,125 Really easy day at work. 11 00:00:34,645 --> 00:00:38,845 No. Tough time the second I get into my own house. 12 00:00:38,925 --> 00:00:40,445 Look at how happy you are. 13 00:00:58,565 --> 00:01:01,925 Good girl. 14 00:01:08,005 --> 00:01:09,525 - Are you goin' in there? - Yeah. 15 00:01:09,605 --> 00:01:11,285 - Can you give that to him? - Yeah, course. 16 00:01:11,365 --> 00:01:12,365 Ta. 17 00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:14,405 - You're a friend of his are you? - Yeah. 18 00:01:15,565 --> 00:01:16,565 Oh. 19 00:01:24,005 --> 00:01:25,285 - All right? - Some post. 20 00:01:26,405 --> 00:01:28,725 - Where d'you get that? - Postman gave it to me. 21 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,285 What? Oh, for f... 22 00:01:31,365 --> 00:01:33,565 Should've made him put it through the letterbox. 23 00:01:37,485 --> 00:01:40,405 I was walking along the side of the road 'cause there was no pavement. 24 00:01:40,485 --> 00:01:44,045 I slipped down this steep bank and onto some rubbish... 25 00:01:44,125 --> 00:01:47,565 big chunk of wood with, like, a nail, metal spike sticking out of it... 26 00:01:47,645 --> 00:01:48,805 and went right on it. 27 00:01:49,845 --> 00:01:53,445 Well, it just went right through me, right through me side, 28 00:01:53,725 --> 00:01:54,725 out me back. 29 00:01:54,805 --> 00:01:56,765 There was blood everywhere. 30 00:01:56,845 --> 00:01:58,725 It's a miracle I'm still alive 31 00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:02,245 'cause the doctor said, because I'm so big, 32 00:02:02,325 --> 00:02:03,845 it just went straight through me 33 00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:05,565 and missed me vital organs. 34 00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:08,405 - You know, just straight through the... - Flab. 35 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:11,925 So, in a way, my fatness saved my life. 36 00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:14,845 Not really. 37 00:02:15,365 --> 00:02:16,605 If you'd have been thin, 38 00:02:16,685 --> 00:02:19,445 the spike would have missed you altogether, wouldn't it? 39 00:02:20,525 --> 00:02:23,285 You'd just be lying next to a spike. Not a problem. 40 00:02:23,765 --> 00:02:24,765 Hmm. 41 00:02:27,885 --> 00:02:28,885 Cheers. 42 00:02:33,965 --> 00:02:35,045 Good pictures. 43 00:03:02,005 --> 00:03:03,045 Lisa's old room. 44 00:03:03,565 --> 00:03:04,565 Ahh. 45 00:03:16,725 --> 00:03:17,725 Hungry? 46 00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:19,245 Stupid question. 47 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,045 Thought you were gonna grab the back of my neck. 48 00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:25,125 Not yet. 49 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:34,325 Say you wanna use this photo here, you just... 50 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:39,445 take the file P100124.jpg, 51 00:03:39,525 --> 00:03:43,325 and you just drag it across and pop it in the folder and it uploads. 52 00:03:46,205 --> 00:03:49,365 That's done. And then check the next image. 53 00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:53,085 Looks like P100125.jpg. 54 00:03:53,165 --> 00:03:55,845 You just click it, move it across, pop it in the folder. 55 00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,805 Fuck me! 56 00:03:57,885 --> 00:03:59,285 Why do you wanna work here? 57 00:03:59,845 --> 00:04:01,605 - It's exciting. - What is? 58 00:04:02,005 --> 00:04:03,005 Journalism. 59 00:04:03,085 --> 00:04:05,645 - This isn't fucking journalism. - You've gotta start somewhere. 60 00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:07,605 Yeah, but if you start here, you'll end here. 61 00:04:07,685 --> 00:04:08,685 Look at this. 62 00:04:08,765 --> 00:04:10,645 Not true, actually, no. 63 00:04:10,725 --> 00:04:12,565 No, this is a great stepping stone, this place. 64 00:04:12,645 --> 00:04:14,565 There was a guy who worked here a while ago, 65 00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,885 - went on to work for The Guardian. - What was his name? 66 00:04:18,085 --> 00:04:20,525 - No, I can't remember his name. - Oh, he made it big then? 67 00:04:20,645 --> 00:04:22,485 - The point is... - Bill Coombes. 68 00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:25,085 Wasn't here long. 69 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:26,765 Was a bit grabby. 70 00:04:28,165 --> 00:04:29,565 I do get that a lot though. 71 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,565 He's a lorry driver now. 72 00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:36,165 Since the court case. 73 00:04:37,405 --> 00:04:40,045 I didn't know that. But the point is, okay, 74 00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:43,245 you start here, then you go on to have a bright future in journalism. 75 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,965 There is no bright future in journalism. 76 00:04:45,045 --> 00:04:47,501 By the time you're a features writer, there won't be newspapers 77 00:04:47,525 --> 00:04:50,805 as we know them because it'll just be a shit storm on the Internet. 78 00:04:50,885 --> 00:04:55,005 People posting nasty, fucking hateful opinions that aren't even theirs 79 00:04:55,085 --> 00:04:56,210 'cause their editor told them to, 80 00:04:56,211 --> 00:04:58,365 to get clickbait for fucking advertisers 81 00:04:58,445 --> 00:05:00,765 because the world is full of fuckin' morons. 82 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:03,765 It's awful. It's an awful future. 83 00:05:04,685 --> 00:05:07,205 Tell you what, misery guts. This might cheer you up... um... 84 00:05:07,525 --> 00:05:09,085 Just been speaking to Jill, 85 00:05:09,165 --> 00:05:11,205 and we might've got you a date. 86 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,165 - For what? - For... 87 00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:15,765 - Well, we know a lovely lady... - Oh, a date? 88 00:05:15,845 --> 00:05:16,725 - Yeah. - Forget it! 89 00:05:16,805 --> 00:05:19,405 Well, hang on. She's also a widow. 90 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:20,925 So we'd have a lot in common? 91 00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:22,605 - I've told her all about you... - Yeah? 92 00:05:22,685 --> 00:05:24,005 You told her I'm still married? 93 00:05:24,085 --> 00:05:25,765 - Well, no. I mean... - To your sister. 94 00:05:25,845 --> 00:05:27,381 - No. - Have you forgotten that? 95 00:05:27,405 --> 00:05:29,165 Because I haven't. I still know the deal. 96 00:05:29,565 --> 00:05:33,565 I'm just getting on with stuff to keep you off my back until it's time. 97 00:05:33,645 --> 00:05:35,725 Because when you see me, for one moment you think 98 00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:37,845 I look like I'm enjoying myself for a split second, 99 00:05:37,925 --> 00:05:41,085 know that in there I'm still fucking in pain and the moment's ruined 100 00:05:41,165 --> 00:05:43,565 'cause I can't share it with her, okay? 101 00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:45,565 And I can't fucking wait to be with her. 102 00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,165 Tony, that doesn't make sense. You're a rational man. 103 00:05:48,245 --> 00:05:49,805 You don't even believe in an afterlife. 104 00:05:49,885 --> 00:05:53,685 I know. She's nowhere, all right? But get this through your head... 105 00:05:54,325 --> 00:05:58,725 I'd rather be nowhere with her than somewhere without her, all right? 106 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,605 Fucking hell. Why can't you just leave me alone? 107 00:06:03,485 --> 00:06:04,765 Oh, God. 108 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,365 I've been getting a bit of pressure... 109 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,325 to maybe start dating again. 110 00:06:41,405 --> 00:06:43,445 I say "again." I've never dated. 111 00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:45,285 I don't see the point. 112 00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:47,645 I met someone, by chance, 113 00:06:48,445 --> 00:06:50,365 and she turned out to be perfect, 114 00:06:50,445 --> 00:06:53,485 and... I can't see that ever happening again. 115 00:06:53,925 --> 00:06:55,405 What about just... 116 00:06:56,445 --> 00:06:58,165 - having fun? - It won't be fun. 117 00:06:58,245 --> 00:07:00,765 Yeah, again, shit attitude, mate. 118 00:07:01,205 --> 00:07:03,245 All this, "Oh, where's my soulmate?" 119 00:07:03,325 --> 00:07:06,525 I'm not even sure it's natural for us to have one mate for life. 120 00:07:07,645 --> 00:07:10,325 It's pretty rare in most species, I've gotta tell you. 121 00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:14,325 There is... an Australian mouse. 122 00:07:15,205 --> 00:07:17,845 Now, the male lives for a year, 123 00:07:18,445 --> 00:07:21,125 because as soon as it becomes an adult and it wants to mate, 124 00:07:21,205 --> 00:07:22,925 it goes out and mates... 125 00:07:24,045 --> 00:07:26,125 with about a hundred females. 126 00:07:26,365 --> 00:07:27,805 Literally, it gets the horn, 127 00:07:27,885 --> 00:07:30,445 and it thinks, "Right, I'm gonna shag everything that moves." 128 00:07:30,525 --> 00:07:32,045 And it does. 129 00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:35,965 You know, there's no wooing, there's no "Are we compatible?" 130 00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:38,165 "Is she my soulmate?" There's none of that. 131 00:07:38,245 --> 00:07:40,765 He's just on her, whether she likes it or not. 132 00:07:40,845 --> 00:07:42,645 I mean, it's basically rape, yeah? 133 00:07:43,285 --> 00:07:45,725 But there's no silly outcry. 134 00:07:46,885 --> 00:07:47,885 And then... 135 00:07:48,365 --> 00:07:49,405 exhausted... 136 00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:53,045 dead. 137 00:07:55,245 --> 00:07:57,325 That's ã68, please. 138 00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,645 Any plans for the weekend? 139 00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:01,605 Gonna rape myself to death. 140 00:08:10,045 --> 00:08:11,285 - Hi. - Hello. 141 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,365 - Where's the other one? - Which one? 142 00:08:14,125 --> 00:08:15,285 Scottish, mouthy. 143 00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:17,805 Emma. Do you want to speak to her? 144 00:08:17,885 --> 00:08:19,925 Err... yeah, please. 145 00:08:20,005 --> 00:08:21,005 Cheers. 146 00:08:23,765 --> 00:08:24,765 You all right, Dad? 147 00:08:28,525 --> 00:08:30,845 - Did you... wanna see me? - Yeah. 148 00:08:33,005 --> 00:08:34,005 I'm sorry. 149 00:08:34,685 --> 00:08:35,725 What for? 150 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,205 Doesn't matter, apparently. 151 00:08:37,245 --> 00:08:39,365 - What doesn't matter? - Why I'm apologizing. 152 00:08:40,325 --> 00:08:41,725 I'm apologizing for... 153 00:08:42,645 --> 00:08:44,285 being an arsehole in general. 154 00:08:45,045 --> 00:08:46,485 Oh... right. 155 00:08:47,645 --> 00:08:50,725 So are you apologizing for being an arsehole so far, 156 00:08:50,805 --> 00:08:53,605 or are you apologizing in advance? 157 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:01,045 I think you do a great job with my dad, and... 158 00:09:02,085 --> 00:09:03,925 I don't spend enough time with him. 159 00:09:04,005 --> 00:09:05,685 All right. Fine. 160 00:09:06,685 --> 00:09:08,045 I wouldn't worry about your dad. 161 00:09:08,685 --> 00:09:09,685 Cheers. 162 00:09:10,165 --> 00:09:11,165 Yeah... 163 00:09:12,005 --> 00:09:13,005 about your dad. 164 00:09:14,765 --> 00:09:17,405 You upset quite a few people today, didn't you, Ray? 165 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,125 How? 166 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:23,325 Well, he told Ireney Tindall that he'd like to do her from behind. 167 00:09:24,525 --> 00:09:26,005 Why from behind? 168 00:09:26,085 --> 00:09:28,405 - I don't really think that's the issue. - No, sure... 169 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,885 - Ugly. - Oh right. 170 00:09:30,325 --> 00:09:33,765 And he accused Charlie Willis of sucking off Elton John. 171 00:09:34,285 --> 00:09:35,885 How old's Charlie Willis? 172 00:09:35,965 --> 00:09:37,245 Eighty nine. 173 00:09:37,325 --> 00:09:38,645 Dirty bastard. 174 00:09:39,925 --> 00:09:43,405 - Anything else? Please say yes. - Oh, yeah. He told Winston Freeman 175 00:09:43,485 --> 00:09:45,885 that he has the cock of a Chinaman. 176 00:09:45,965 --> 00:09:48,070 How do you know what a Chinaman's co... 177 00:09:48,071 --> 00:09:49,805 You shouldn't even say Chinaman, Dad. 178 00:09:52,965 --> 00:09:55,085 Ahh. 179 00:09:56,565 --> 00:09:57,765 - Oh. - Oh. 180 00:10:01,405 --> 00:10:02,525 That's cheered me up. 181 00:10:02,805 --> 00:10:03,805 Tough day at work? 182 00:10:05,565 --> 00:10:06,565 I... 183 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,725 Some of the guys are trying to get me to go on a date. 184 00:10:10,805 --> 00:10:11,805 Mmm. 185 00:10:12,525 --> 00:10:15,605 Well, you should probably go on a date, then. 186 00:10:17,365 --> 00:10:19,925 - Right, I'd better get back to work. - Oh, okay. 187 00:10:20,005 --> 00:10:21,565 - All right, bye. - Cheers. 188 00:10:22,845 --> 00:10:24,525 All right, Ireney? 189 00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:30,205 Here she is. 190 00:10:30,765 --> 00:10:32,365 Get in here, you dirty cow. 191 00:10:36,525 --> 00:10:38,925 My brother-in-law wants me to try dating again. 192 00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:42,005 Oh, excellent. 193 00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,005 You need some tips. 194 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,525 Why would I need some tips? 195 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,605 Well, I imagine you're awful with women. 196 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:50,605 Yeah? 197 00:10:50,965 --> 00:10:52,165 She's having a go, Stan. 198 00:10:52,645 --> 00:10:54,005 Well, all men are awful, 199 00:10:54,085 --> 00:10:56,205 but grumpy, selfish ones are the worst. 200 00:10:56,285 --> 00:10:59,165 Oh, all right. Let me take notes. This is dynamite. Go on. 201 00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:03,285 Well, go on. What are you going to say to her? I'll be your date. 202 00:11:04,445 --> 00:11:05,565 What, role-play? 203 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,165 If you like. 204 00:11:14,245 --> 00:11:16,125 Hi, I'm Tony. 205 00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,365 I don't wanna appear ageist, 206 00:11:19,765 --> 00:11:23,005 but are those your own teeth? 207 00:11:24,365 --> 00:11:26,245 That's probably a bad start, is it, getting hit? 208 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:27,365 No. 209 00:11:28,005 --> 00:11:29,485 It's good. You made me laugh, 210 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:32,845 but I'm assuming that your date isn't as old as me. 211 00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:33,925 Fuckin' hope not. 212 00:11:35,805 --> 00:11:38,245 Swearing. Be serious! 213 00:11:38,325 --> 00:11:39,525 I can't. I... 214 00:11:40,445 --> 00:11:41,565 I'd just be honest. 215 00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:44,685 Tell her my situation, tell her what I'm going through, 216 00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:46,045 be honest up front, and... 217 00:11:47,485 --> 00:11:49,085 So just all about you, then? 218 00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:51,605 What? I can't win, can I? 219 00:11:51,925 --> 00:11:53,405 I don't wanna date again. 220 00:11:54,125 --> 00:11:55,805 I don't wanna live without Lisa. 221 00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:59,445 But it's not just all about you, is it? 222 00:12:00,165 --> 00:12:01,325 That's what I'm saying. 223 00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:05,245 What if a nice date made her feel good? 224 00:12:06,445 --> 00:12:08,045 That might feel nice, right? 225 00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:11,765 We're not just here for us, we're here for others. 226 00:12:11,845 --> 00:12:13,525 I don't do the whole God thing, I'm afraid. 227 00:12:13,605 --> 00:12:15,365 No, neither do I. Load of rubbish. 228 00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:17,045 All we've got is each other. 229 00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:20,045 We've got to help each other struggle through till we die, 230 00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:21,325 and then we're done. 231 00:12:21,405 --> 00:12:23,085 No point in feeling sorry for ourselves 232 00:12:23,165 --> 00:12:24,885 and making everyone else unhappy, too. 233 00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:27,045 Might as well top yourself if you feel like that. 234 00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,645 Are you sure you wanna work for the Samaritans? 235 00:12:30,725 --> 00:12:32,445 All I'm saying is that... 236 00:12:32,525 --> 00:12:34,165 I think that deep down, 237 00:12:34,845 --> 00:12:37,045 that you still think life's worth living. 238 00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:39,125 It's nowhere near over for you. 239 00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,125 You're in pain. 240 00:12:43,445 --> 00:12:44,725 But the thing you lost... 241 00:12:45,605 --> 00:12:47,725 is the same thing that can stop that pain. 242 00:13:03,685 --> 00:13:05,805 - I'm sorry. - It's fine, seriously. 243 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:06,885 No, it's... I... 244 00:13:07,605 --> 00:13:08,605 I shouldn't have... 245 00:13:09,925 --> 00:13:10,925 I'll... 246 00:13:11,405 --> 00:13:13,125 I'll do the date. 247 00:13:13,805 --> 00:13:14,965 Really? 248 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,925 Great. Well, I'll call her and book a restaurant. 249 00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:20,125 Indian okay? 250 00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:22,085 Yeah. I don't care what she is. 251 00:13:23,325 --> 00:13:25,005 No, I meant... food. 252 00:13:25,365 --> 00:13:27,125 Oh... Err... 253 00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:30,565 No, Italian'd be best. Soak up the alcohol. 254 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,285 Okay. Yeah, I'll book that. 255 00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:35,045 Great. 256 00:13:39,365 --> 00:13:40,725 So, what are you gonna wear? 257 00:13:41,885 --> 00:13:44,205 - Why? - Well, first impressions are important. 258 00:13:44,285 --> 00:13:45,725 I mean, look at me and June. 259 00:13:46,245 --> 00:13:48,765 She'd noticed my style before my personality. 260 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,795 I don't care about first impre... 261 00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:52,605 I don't care about any impression, do I? 262 00:13:52,685 --> 00:13:54,525 If you want any help, I could give you tips. 263 00:13:55,205 --> 00:13:56,630 He's had a girlfriend for about a minute 264 00:13:56,631 --> 00:13:59,165 and he thinks he's Bryan fucking Ferry. 265 00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:02,285 And why do people think I need tips with women? 266 00:14:02,365 --> 00:14:03,365 Tips on style. 267 00:14:03,445 --> 00:14:04,605 Tips on style? 268 00:14:04,685 --> 00:14:05,685 From you? 269 00:14:05,765 --> 00:14:06,965 - Yeah. - Go on. 270 00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:09,781 - Okay. Lunch or dinner? - What difference does that make? 271 00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:12,205 Well, for dinner, she might wear a ball gown, 272 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,565 in which case you'll wanna wear a dress suit. 273 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:17,101 But for lunch, you'll probably get away with blazer and slacks? 274 00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:19,565 - Slacks? - Are you from the 1940s? 275 00:14:19,645 --> 00:14:21,245 - No need to wear a suit. - I won't. 276 00:14:21,325 --> 00:14:23,845 - Smart jeans, nice shirt. - Exactly, yeah. 277 00:14:23,925 --> 00:14:25,645 Have you got smart jeans and a nice shirt? 278 00:14:27,925 --> 00:14:29,405 - Err... - Hm. 279 00:14:29,485 --> 00:14:31,405 I'll take you shopping, if you like. 280 00:14:31,485 --> 00:14:33,085 But remember, black is slimming. 281 00:14:33,685 --> 00:14:35,445 Can't work miracles though, can it? 282 00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:37,125 Cheers, thank you. 283 00:14:38,005 --> 00:14:39,565 I don't need to go shopping. 284 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:40,765 - Come on. - Really? 285 00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:43,325 - Yeah. - Ah. It's embarrassing. 286 00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:44,445 No, it's not. 287 00:14:44,525 --> 00:14:47,765 It is. A grown man being told what to wear. 288 00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:51,485 Go in here. 289 00:14:51,565 --> 00:14:53,805 Fuck off. 290 00:14:57,685 --> 00:15:00,085 - Do you take requests? - What? 291 00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:02,325 Have you got any Bee Gees? 292 00:15:05,485 --> 00:15:08,125 - What do you mean? - Oh, sorry, I thought this was a disco. 293 00:15:08,605 --> 00:15:09,685 He's very old. 294 00:15:10,525 --> 00:15:11,805 Are you two together? 295 00:15:12,765 --> 00:15:14,405 - No. - No, I was gonna say... 296 00:15:18,805 --> 00:15:20,925 Got one of these in 42 chest? 297 00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:28,845 - Be nice. - Yeah. 298 00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:36,645 It's not a waste of time, you working here. 299 00:15:37,205 --> 00:15:39,965 It is a good stepping stone, and you can go on and do... 300 00:15:40,445 --> 00:15:42,205 anything you want. I didn't... 301 00:15:43,285 --> 00:15:44,285 'cause I didn't want to. 302 00:15:44,365 --> 00:15:45,725 I didn't do overtime, 303 00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:47,765 try and get promoted, or... 304 00:15:48,445 --> 00:15:50,845 get a better job in a different town. I just... 305 00:15:51,565 --> 00:15:54,325 I just wanted to get home every night... 306 00:15:55,725 --> 00:15:58,765 spend every available minute I could with Lisa. 307 00:16:01,325 --> 00:16:02,845 And I made the right decision. 308 00:16:04,725 --> 00:16:05,765 That's so lovely. 309 00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:07,765 Don't cry. Not in front of your new boyfriend. 310 00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,245 Here he comes. 311 00:16:09,565 --> 00:16:10,565 Hi. 312 00:16:10,805 --> 00:16:12,765 It just won't look as good in this size. 313 00:16:17,325 --> 00:16:20,485 I could see the look of disappointment when I went in his shop. 314 00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:21,741 - Hello. - You all right? 315 00:16:21,765 --> 00:16:22,765 Yeah. 316 00:16:23,805 --> 00:16:26,645 This is Sandy, who works for me. 317 00:16:26,725 --> 00:16:27,885 - Hello, Sandy. - Hello. 318 00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:29,605 - This is... - Nice to meet you. 319 00:16:29,685 --> 00:16:30,685 ... Daphne, 320 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,805 who's a cleaner, my cleaner. 321 00:16:35,845 --> 00:16:36,845 Yeah. 322 00:16:37,285 --> 00:16:38,285 I'm his cleaner. 323 00:16:38,685 --> 00:16:40,607 Err... Not his friend or anything 324 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,645 with a job he's embarrassed about on my behalf. 325 00:16:42,965 --> 00:16:43,965 Anyway, 326 00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:46,565 I was just on my way to your house to do some cleaning, 327 00:16:46,645 --> 00:16:49,605 and I forgot my keys, so it's lucky we ran into each other. 328 00:16:49,685 --> 00:16:52,765 But he's just gonna give me his 'cause I'm his cleaner. 329 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,525 - It's not a problem, is it? - No. 330 00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,805 Trust your cleaner. Give your keys to your cleaner. 331 00:16:57,205 --> 00:16:59,125 It's not like giving them to a prostitute, is it? 332 00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:01,645 - See you later! - Hope so. 333 00:17:08,885 --> 00:17:09,885 You all right, George? 334 00:17:20,525 --> 00:17:21,765 You left the keys in the door. 335 00:17:22,285 --> 00:17:23,685 - Did I? - Yeah. 336 00:17:26,565 --> 00:17:27,565 That's amazing. 337 00:17:29,045 --> 00:17:30,445 Can't believe you've done all this. 338 00:17:30,485 --> 00:17:32,165 I can't believe you gave me your keys. 339 00:17:32,245 --> 00:17:33,605 I didn't wanna back down. 340 00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:34,845 I know. 341 00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:37,965 How much do I owe you? 342 00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:39,685 Nothing. 343 00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,885 Just wanted to see if you trusted me. 344 00:17:42,325 --> 00:17:43,725 Sorry about the whole... 345 00:17:43,805 --> 00:17:44,885 saying you're my cleaner. 346 00:17:44,965 --> 00:17:46,845 I thought you'd prefer it to prostitute. 347 00:17:46,925 --> 00:17:47,925 Sex worker. 348 00:17:48,005 --> 00:17:50,285 And only 'cause people prejudge you when you say that, 349 00:17:50,365 --> 00:17:51,521 and I don't wanna scare the new girl. 350 00:17:51,522 --> 00:17:53,400 "This is my friend, she's a prostitute." 351 00:17:53,525 --> 00:17:55,005 - Sex worker. - Right. 352 00:17:55,885 --> 00:17:56,885 No worries. 353 00:17:57,925 --> 00:17:58,925 D'you want a coffee? 354 00:17:59,005 --> 00:18:00,205 No, I've just had one. 355 00:18:00,645 --> 00:18:02,485 Actually, I've got to be going. 356 00:18:04,165 --> 00:18:06,165 You sure I can't give you anything for this? 357 00:18:06,245 --> 00:18:08,005 No, it's my pleasure. 358 00:18:08,845 --> 00:18:10,525 Not everyone is out to get you, Tony. 359 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,805 Most people are all right. They're just having a bad day. 360 00:18:14,645 --> 00:18:16,711 Sometimes they don't think, they get caught up. 361 00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:17,765 They're just trying to survive. 362 00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:21,765 Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people, 363 00:18:21,845 --> 00:18:22,885 and sometimes... 364 00:18:23,805 --> 00:18:25,005 it's just no one's fault. 365 00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:28,325 Cheers. 366 00:18:29,445 --> 00:18:31,485 Right, shoes on. See you later, mate. 367 00:18:32,205 --> 00:18:33,245 See you later. 368 00:18:34,525 --> 00:18:36,845 Good girl. 369 00:18:47,445 --> 00:18:48,445 Uh-uh-uh. 370 00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:56,125 Good. 371 00:18:57,125 --> 00:18:58,965 I should say from the off, 372 00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:04,005 I didn't want to do this, but Matt said you're a widow, too, and, 373 00:19:04,085 --> 00:19:06,525 you know, absolutely nothing, apart from eating, 374 00:19:07,285 --> 00:19:08,285 could ever come of this 375 00:19:08,325 --> 00:19:10,765 because I'm still attached to my wife, 376 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,165 and... I'm just being honest. 377 00:19:13,565 --> 00:19:15,885 Is this your way of saying we're gonna split the bill? 378 00:19:15,965 --> 00:19:17,165 Erm, champagne. 379 00:19:17,245 --> 00:19:20,165 Definitely splitting the bill. Whiskey, please. 380 00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:21,581 - Any particular sort? - Large. 381 00:19:21,605 --> 00:19:22,885 Oh, discerning. 382 00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:25,405 You know what? It's a mouthful of painkiller. 383 00:19:25,485 --> 00:19:28,045 This is good schtick. You know, dark and down. 384 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,165 But you're obviously not really suicidal. It's just bullshit. 385 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,325 Right, that's where you're wrong. 386 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:36,205 No, I know the story. But seriously though, 387 00:19:36,285 --> 00:19:38,285 how hard is suicide? 388 00:19:38,725 --> 00:19:39,925 My husband did it. 389 00:19:40,725 --> 00:19:43,245 Threw himself off Beachy Head, hit the rocks, 390 00:19:43,325 --> 00:19:46,765 skull exploded. Poof! Efficient. 391 00:19:47,165 --> 00:19:49,725 He was shit at everything else, but gotta give him his due. 392 00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:52,325 He really knew what he was doing when it came to suicide. 393 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,445 - Wow. - Wow indeed. 394 00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:57,005 And no, I'm not grieving. He was a cunt. 395 00:19:57,085 --> 00:19:59,805 Well, I'm sure you gave as good as you got. 396 00:19:59,885 --> 00:20:01,605 - Oh, I did. - Oh, I believe you. 397 00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:04,365 Why are you so sarcastic all the time? 398 00:20:05,365 --> 00:20:08,165 'Cause it stops me killing people, including myself. 399 00:20:09,045 --> 00:20:12,445 - Gotta do what you've gotta do. - You have, indeed... and... 400 00:20:13,525 --> 00:20:15,645 I... nearly took some pills. 401 00:20:15,725 --> 00:20:18,405 You nearly took some pills? Jesus Christ. 402 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,541 - What is wrong with you? - No, what is wrong with you? 403 00:20:20,565 --> 00:20:22,005 Why couldn't you go through with it? 404 00:20:22,045 --> 00:20:24,605 Because I had to look after my dog. 405 00:20:24,685 --> 00:20:26,861 - That's an excuse. - It's not an excuse. It's a reason. 406 00:20:26,885 --> 00:20:29,125 Because I realized that my wife 407 00:20:29,205 --> 00:20:31,765 was probably the only human being I actually liked, 408 00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:33,725 and my dog is second. 409 00:20:33,805 --> 00:20:35,285 Well, maybe I could come third. 410 00:20:35,365 --> 00:20:36,445 Yeah, good luck. 411 00:20:36,845 --> 00:20:38,365 No, but I do get it. 412 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:39,887 Some people just feel more comfortable 413 00:20:39,888 --> 00:20:41,885 around animals than they do around people. 414 00:20:41,965 --> 00:20:45,445 I'm comfortable around humans. I just think animals are better. 415 00:20:45,525 --> 00:20:46,925 That's because you're hurt 416 00:20:47,005 --> 00:20:50,045 and you've lost someone and you think no one compares. Mmm. 417 00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,325 No one does compare. 418 00:20:51,925 --> 00:20:53,885 - No offense. - No, none taken. 419 00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:56,765 And the reason animals are better than people 420 00:20:56,845 --> 00:20:58,885 is because they just get on with it. 421 00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:01,245 - They don't whinge all the time... - Unlike you. 422 00:21:01,325 --> 00:21:02,325 What d'you mean? 423 00:21:02,325 --> 00:21:05,245 We haven't stopped whinging since we got here. No offense. 424 00:21:07,365 --> 00:21:08,605 - Well, this is nice. - Mmm. 425 00:21:09,885 --> 00:21:11,845 - Cheers, thanks. - Cheers. 426 00:21:11,925 --> 00:21:14,605 - Can I tell you about the specials? - No. 427 00:21:17,405 --> 00:21:18,405 Fuckin' hell. 428 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,125 Good. 429 00:21:34,445 --> 00:21:36,101 - Fuckin' let go! - Fuck off! 430 00:21:41,525 --> 00:21:42,525 Cunt! 431 00:21:52,045 --> 00:21:53,805 - Well, that was really silly. - Why? 432 00:21:54,245 --> 00:21:56,741 Well, they could have had some acid or stabbed you or something. 433 00:21:56,765 --> 00:21:57,765 Told you... 434 00:21:58,165 --> 00:21:59,885 - I don't care. - What if they'd stabbed me? 435 00:22:00,965 --> 00:22:02,485 - Oh, cheers. - Pleasure. 436 00:22:17,805 --> 00:22:18,805 Me again. 437 00:22:18,965 --> 00:22:20,485 This must be why they call it a habit. 438 00:22:21,045 --> 00:22:22,365 - Yep. - Yep. 439 00:22:26,005 --> 00:22:27,885 You know I know how you feel? 440 00:22:28,725 --> 00:22:30,565 Okay, try imagining if... 441 00:22:31,525 --> 00:22:33,965 everyone you told about your wife dying just... 442 00:22:35,165 --> 00:22:36,725 thought it was their own fault. 443 00:22:38,325 --> 00:22:39,325 What d'you mean? 444 00:22:41,325 --> 00:22:43,165 Well, Mel was an addict, wasn't she? 445 00:22:43,685 --> 00:22:45,125 She injected herself, so... 446 00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,925 you know, most people just think it was her fault. 447 00:22:49,245 --> 00:22:51,485 Don't feel the same sympathy 448 00:22:51,565 --> 00:22:53,365 for me or for her. I mean... 449 00:22:53,925 --> 00:22:57,045 Every minute of every day that I have my wits about me, 450 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,485 all I can think about is... 451 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:01,725 getting some gear before I become too fucking conscious. 452 00:23:04,485 --> 00:23:05,485 When I was with... 453 00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:07,365 Lisa, 454 00:23:08,205 --> 00:23:10,605 we'd sort of get home, open a bottle of wine... 455 00:23:11,285 --> 00:23:13,645 and go, "Yay! Just us. Let's party." 456 00:23:14,565 --> 00:23:15,605 And by "party," 457 00:23:16,165 --> 00:23:19,405 I mean... sit here like this, with the dog, 458 00:23:20,325 --> 00:23:23,405 watching telly, or listening to music, or just talking. 459 00:23:23,685 --> 00:23:25,405 Just, the more we talked, 460 00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:27,605 the more we drank. 461 00:23:28,805 --> 00:23:30,445 We didn't want the night to end. 462 00:23:32,045 --> 00:23:33,045 Now I drink... 463 00:23:34,725 --> 00:23:36,285 'cause I want the night to end. 464 00:23:37,965 --> 00:23:40,685 It's like I'm already dead inside, and yet I'm still... 465 00:23:41,365 --> 00:23:42,885 in the worst kind of pain. 466 00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:46,125 Well... 467 00:23:47,565 --> 00:23:48,845 as long as we're having fun. 468 00:23:51,005 --> 00:23:53,525 I still can't believe we've got so much in common. 469 00:23:54,925 --> 00:23:56,885 We don't have anything in common. 470 00:23:56,965 --> 00:23:58,205 Why do you say that, though? 471 00:23:58,285 --> 00:24:00,365 Well... the big difference is... 472 00:24:02,045 --> 00:24:04,045 you haven't given up yet, have you? 473 00:24:05,165 --> 00:24:07,645 I mean, me, I would quite happily die right now. 474 00:24:09,045 --> 00:24:10,165 If I had enough money, 475 00:24:11,365 --> 00:24:14,485 I would just take as many drugs as I possibly could. 476 00:24:50,525 --> 00:24:51,685 Don't waste it on food. 477 00:26:11,085 --> 00:26:15,845 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com -