So, if you're feeling sick, head down to Gary's Urgent Care.
But remember, he's closed Mondays, holidays,
and pretty much any day he doesn't like the weather.
(chuckles) Speaking of holidays, lately,
it seems like anyone can just make one up.
There's "Step in a Puddle Day," "Rubber Ducky Day,"
even "Donut on a Stick" day.
I didn't eat breakfast.
Anyway, we need your help creating our own holiday.
So, would you rather observe
"National Use Your Butt as an Eraser Day"...
Time to erase some history, starting with my report card.
Or "Penguin Appreciation Day."
(grunts) This suit does not smell good.
Ollie, you are supposed to be working on your math assignment.
It's due Monday.
(sighs) Can't I do it later?
-Uh, Mom? -Oh! Sorry.
Hey, Wratherheads. J-funk in the hizzay, layin' down some rules.
Ollie, this is your last chance to pass, or you're going to summer school.
Which means we would all have to give up our vacation at the lake house.
What? Ollie, if you mess this up, I will mail you to New Zealand.
I already have the box.
He's not gonna mess it up. It's one math assignment.
You've got this, buddy. (chuckles)
I'd hold off on packing.
Well, eraser boy is out.
(computer dinging)
But that doesn't matter, because Penguin Fred wins!
Yes! (laughs) Let's do this. Appreciate me!
Blondie, you're up.
Okay. Well, your flippers are cute.
Yeah, and I like your little beak.
I waddled all the way here for that?
(theme song playing)
♪ Would you rather lose your phone ♪
♪ Or give up pizza for a month? ♪
♪ Share your diary with the world ♪
♪ Or have to eat it for your lunch ♪
♪ Sing out of tune to your friends ♪
♪ Or trip and fall into your crush? ♪
♪ Shave your head, paint it red? ♪
♪ Or use your dog's toothbrush? ♪
♪ We need a little Q and A ♪
♪ Come on, Wratherheads, play along ♪
♪ Would you rather do this? ♪
♪ Would you rather do that? ♪
♪ Don't matter what we do ♪
♪ We're doing it with you ♪
♪ I'd rather do that ♪
♪ Ask the world ♪
♪ Would you rather do this? ♪
♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪
♪ No matter what we do ♪
♪ We're doing it with you ♪
♪ I'd rather do that ♪
Ask the world!
♪ Would you rather do that? ♪
Hey, guys.
What's this?
Invitations to my event on Saturday.
"Bassoon-a-palooza"?
Yup! Five bassoons, three magical hours... Zero bathroom breaks.
Didn't we just go to your music thing, like, two weeks ago?
That was a recital. This is an event!
What's the difference?
Well, for starters, there's twice as many songs.
And instead of being in a stuffy concert hall,
we're gonna be in a much cooler church basement.
And there's still tickets available?
I know. I was shocked, too.
Will there at least be snacks at this one?
Of course. Oh, that reminds me,
I have to tell Maiya to bring her famous vegan raisin bread.
Spoiler alert-- Instead of flour, she uses nut dust.
I cannot go to another one of Charlotte's musical torture sessions.
The last one was so long, it ruined my entire Saturday.
Wasn't the last one on a Friday?
Yeah. And it was so boring it ruined my Saturday, too.
We need to come up with a way to get out of this.
Follow my lead.
Good news. Maiya's also bringing her famous chia seed scones.
They are a little dry, so you're gonna wanna bring your own water.
Charlotte, about your bassoon event, I'm sorry, but we can't go.
We already have a thing that day.
A thing? Oh, you have a thing?
Please. You're just saying that 'cause you don't wanna go.
No, we do. It's just...
we're already going to a wedding.
Really? Who's getting married?
Gary, our Would You Wrather? sponsor.
He's like an uncle to us,
so he'd be really upset if we didn't show up.
I had no idea you guys were so close. Why haven't I met Gary?
-You haven't met Gary? -How have you not met Gary?
You need to meet Gary. (laughs)
It's too bad that you have your bassoon event.
We're each allowed to bring a plus one, and I was so hoping to bring you.
Aw!
I just feel bad you won't be able to do the "Turkey Trot" dance with us.
-The "Turkey Trot" dance? -Fred, I don't think that's a thing.
Of course it is!
It's the hottest new dance craze sweeping the wedding scene.
Despite what you're seeing...
Gary's wedding is gonna be the best party of the year.
(sighs) All right, well,
I think you're highly underestimating Bassoon-a-palooza.
All: (laughing)
Oh. She's serious.
Mom, can you help me?
This math assignment doesn't make sense. Listen.
"Charlie has one-eighth of a tank of gas in his car."
Why is this my problem?
He's the dummy who didn't fill up before he hit the road.
(scoffs)
Ollie, your teacher wouldn't give you an assignment you can't handle.
You're just not applying yourself.
I am, but I still don't get it,
and I don't wanna have to go to summer school
and ruin everyone's vacation.
Okay, I will tell you how to do it,
but then it's up to you to do the rest of the assignment.
-Deal? -Deal. Thanks, Mom.
I know math sometimes looks scary, but it's really quite simple if you--
What am I looking at?
-New math. -Well...
-Yeah, I know that. -Do you not get it, either?
Of course I get it.
Then why aren't you talking?
Because...
I am... enjoying this fascinating story
about Farmer Timmy and his five apples.
Okay. Well, how do I solve it?
Well, I would tell you... but the thing is...
after reading about Timmy and all his apples...
now I want to bake a pie!
Cami, your wedding lie was brilliant.
Now we have a bassoon-free Saturday to look forward to.
I don't want to say I'm a genius, so you say it. (chuckles)
-Do it! -(sighs)
Guys, great news.
My bassoon event just got bumped to next weekend,
which means you can come now!
And I can be Cooper's plus one at Gary's wedding.
Isn't that great?
Yeah. Great.
-Awesome. -Yay!
Uh...
What's wrong?
Aren't you excited that you can still come to Bassoon-a-palooza
and take me to Gary's wedding?
Of course we are! (chuckles nervously)
-(forced laughter) -What's going on?
Wait, were you lying about going to a wedding?
Do you really think we'd make up a lie like that
just to get out of going to your bassoon event?
How dare you?
-Come on, Charlotte. -I am hurt!
Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
Well, you should be,
because we're going to that wedding, and so are you.
Okay, relax. Let's just forget I said anything,
and have a great time at the wedding.
-Okay? -Okay.
Can you believe she accused us of lying?
Yes.
Why would you invite her to a wedding that doesn't exist?
Because our pride is on the line here.
Are we okay with Charlotte calling us liars?
Yes.
Or are we gonna take a stand?
What are we supposed to do?
Sneak into some stranger's wedding and say it's Gary's?
Okay, good. Now you're contributing.
But we don't even have to go that far.
We'll just find a wedding, pretend we're going,
but before we even get there,
I'll have Ollie call her with an emergency,
and then we'll have to go home.
That might actually work.
Okay, I guess we're going to a wedding.
All right, peeps. Time to get our "Turkey Trot" on.
♪ Gobble gobble left, Gobble gobble, right ♪
♪ Gobble down the middle And you're feeling all right ♪
All right.
New math online tutorial, here we go.
(loud rock music) ♪ New math tutorial ♪
Fraction Phil (over tablet): Hey, there. I'm Fraction Phil.
And today we're gonna have fun with new math.
Ugh! I hate him already.
Fraction Phil: Let's start with simple addition.
Oh, I can do that.
Fraction Phil: Forty-five plus twenty-three.
Easy.
Fraction Phil: First, you want to take the higher number, 45,
and put it on the left side of the number line.
Number line?
Fraction Phil: Then take the smaller number, 23,
and put down two large hops of 10.
-Do you follow? -Uh, no, Phillip. I don't follow.
Numbers are numbers. They don't hop!
(tapping screen)
(beeping)
Hey, cuddle bear. I'm stuck in Saturday detention.
Check out the balloon figures I made.
It's us, going on a picnic!
Aw, sweet.
Mmm.
Anyway, I've been coming down on Ollie
for not applying himself with his homework,
but even I couldn't understand it.
What is this "new math" mumbo-jumbo you monsters are forcing on my child?
Jenna, it's the same math we had in school.
Just an updated way of doing it.
Seems to me like you're the one who's not applying yourself.
Really? Uh, your balloon people are hideous.
(gasps)
Sorry, I just need answers.
I emailed the assignment over. Can you explain it to me,
so I can explain it to Ollie?
Of course I can explain it.
-Let me see. Got it right here. -(keys clicking)
Oh...
What's wrong?
One of the detention kids got a pencil stuck up his nose.
-I'll-- I'll call you back. -(clicks off)
(sighs)
-(microphone squeals) -Attention, students.
This is your principal.
(whimpering) Does anybody know how to do new math?
Bye, Mom. We're off to Gary's wedding.
-Which is real. -Very real.
Yes, you've mentioned that several times. Have fun.
Wait. Cooper, your phone!
(door closes)
Okay, Ollie. You know the plan?
When Cooper asks if I've seen the gift card he got for Christmas,
blame Charlotte.
The other plan.
Call Charlotte at exactly 10 past 4:00,
and tell her I need her to come home and help me with my math,
or we can't go to the lake house.
-Perfect. -By the way, Cami,
have you seen my Christmas gift card?
-Charlotte took it. -I knew it!
Bye, Mom.
Hey, Mom, did you finish the pie so we can get started on my assignment?
Oh, well, no.
But I think it was Albert Einstein who said,
"You can't teach your son how to do math before you...
vacuum under the couch."
That's why he's on the dollar bill.
Cami, we weren't supposed to make it all the way to the wedding venue.
Where's that call from Ollie? Hey, there. Hi. Sharp suit.
That kid will be on a mail truck by tomorrow.
Oh, hello. You look pretty. Love the shoes!
Now what?
She's gonna see that the groom's name isn't Gary!
Okay, you guys, we just took the longest possible route getting here.
Well, these calves ain't complaining. Look out, summer!
The ceremony's about to start. Let's go inside.
Oh, I'm gonna.
-But you're not. -But I am.
Okay, I'm going inside.
Uh...
Charlotte, wait! Coop lost his bow-tie.
What? How?
The kid's a mess. Help me find it?
Cami, we have to tell her the truth.
And prove Charlotte right? No way. We're in too deep.
We can't get away with crashing a wedding.
But if you don't believe me...
(beeps)
Hey, Wratherheads.
We lied to our sister to get out of going to her boring event,
but if we keep the lie going,
we could be in a lot more trouble than we planned.
So, should we tell the truth and try to limit the damage?
Or risk it all for a chance to save face?
(dings)
Just as I thought. Risk it all.
-Thanks, Wratherheads. -(beeps)
This is crazy.
(scoffs) Come on.
We'll just go, blend in with the crowd, then after the service,
make a quick exit. Easy-peasy.
(footsteps approaching)
Found your bow-tie. Let's go.
They're going inside!
Yes. Yes, they are.
(sighs) Well, then, I guess we need to see this thing through.
You're only saying that because you wanna do your made-up "Turkey Trot" dance.
I don't want to do it. I have to do it.
Mom, please? I need to use your phone to call Charlotte.
Why? So you can ask her for help with your math assignment?
-Have a little faith in your mother. -But, Mom--
If you keep distracting me from what I'm doing,
-then I won't be able to help you at all. -(scoffs)
What are you doing?
I am... taking an inventory of our mustard packets.
We are dangerously low.
(phone ringing)
Finally.
Hey. I'm sorry about before, but I'm ready to help you now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
-You see the one-eighth right there? -Yes.
Student (whispering): Add it to the two-thirds.
-Okay. Then what? -Then...
Student (whispering): Put it on the number line.
Put it on the number line, Jenna.
-(distant whispering) -What?
I need to go. My mom's honking her horn in the parking lot.
Seriously? Lancely, you can't do this new math either!
I know. The thing is, this stuff is hard.
Uh, a-doy! I know!
But if he doesn't pass, then we won't get to go to the lake house!
Well, can't Charlotte show him how to do it?
No! Then he'll know his own mother can't do lower school math.
Look, why don't I just bring over some books,
and we can both figure it out together?
And when you say books, you mean the answer key, right?
You know I do.
What a lovely ceremony,
even though I couldn't understand a word of it,
since it was all in Portuguese.
Oh, I know. That was a bummer!
-(phone ringing) -It's Ollie.
Hey, Jonathan. Yes, I'm at the wedding.
I guess I could stuff a giant piece of cake in my purse.
Cami, we have to get out of here.
I had to fake sneeze through the wedding vows
so Charlotte wouldn't hear that the groom's real name is Benedito!
I know. We just need to come up with a way to leave
that Charlotte will actually believe.
Well, you better hurry. This is a receiving line.
We're about to meet Benedito and his new bride!
-Oh, no. -Cami!
Okay, Jonathan. I'll call you when I get home. Bye.
Bye. Bye! Okay, hang up.
Aw, look at the newlyweds.
It's nice I'm finally gonna meet Gary.
All (flatly): Yay.
Be right back.
Hi.
The bride and groom want you to play something right now
that will get everyone on the dance floor.
Do it!
(polka music playing)
"The Turkey Trot"!
Wow, it really is a thing.
Why are they starting the dancing now?
Less talk, more gobble.
-Nice work. -Thanks.
Now let's just come up with a way to get out of here.
Oh, come on, Charlotte. Put a little more wing into it.
I think I got it.
-I think I got-- Ooh! -(thuds)
-Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry, Gary. -Who?
Charlotte, this is their moment.
All right, Cami. What's going on?
The groom acted all weird when I called him Gary.
I knew it! You guys lied to get out of going to Bassoon-a-palooza!
Please stop calling it that.
Charlotte, we're at the man's wedding.
What more do we have to do to prove we're telling the truth?
(glass clinking)
Attention, everyone.
It's time for those close to the happy couple
to offer up some words in their honor.
Who'd like to make a toast?
Uncle Gary's waiting.
So who wants to be the first to say some nice words
about our newlyweds?
What's wrong?
I mean, you did say that Gary's like an uncle to you,
so you shouldn't have a problem giving him a toast, right?
Exactly. You lied, and I busted you.
I win. Let's go.
-(microphone squeals) -Cami: What is true love?
(confused) What?
I think that question has been answered today
as we witness the true love
blossoming between this lovely couple.
Look at you two. The path here may have been bumpy, yes.
But the road ahead, well,
that's just filled with beautiful possibilities.
She always cuts straight to the heart.
To the bride and groom, as they say in Portugal...
(speaking Portuguese)
(applause)
(in English) Thank you, translation app.
Now do you believe us?
Our toast is in the form of a poem.
Oh, no.
-Bride. Groom. -Wedding. Boom.
Gifts. Presents. But where's the one from me?
Our presence is our present.
L-O-V-E.
I'm a candle, I'm a flame.
I'm a whisper. In the rain.
-Both: (imitating rainfall) -Excuse me.
I've just been informed that no one here knows who you are.
Okay. You've ruined enough of this couple's wedding. Give me the mic.
Give that back. You can't silence art!
(laughs) Give it!
-Stop! You're making a scene. -Oh, I'm making a scene?
-(crashing, shattering) -Crowd: (gasping)
(chuckles nervously)
(glass tinkling)
Sounds like someone's getting crystal.
I can't take it anymore.
Even the answer key doesn't make any sense!
Are they trying to over-complicate it just to mess with us?
Why is that answer 3.5? Why?
These books must be destroyed.
I'll fire up the grill.
Mom?
Lancely, stop distracting me. I told you, I have to help my baby!
No problem. You'll never see me stand in front of a mother
trying to teach her child.
Bye, now!
Coward!
(door closes)
All right, Ollie. Let's do this.
Let's do this.
(chuckling) This will be done... by us.
Give it up, Mom. You're lying.
You have no idea about Timmy's apples, or the train that's coming to get them.
(gasps) Ollie, why-ever would you say such a thing?
Thin walls. I know everyone's secrets.
Well, that's disturbing.
Okay, fine. I just...
I felt like a horrible mother
expecting you to do an assignment I couldn't even do.
I should be able to help you.
But I kept telling you it's hard.
I know, and...
I thought you were just trying to get out of work.
I was wrong. I'm sorry.
Charlotte will be home soon. She can help you.
I don't need her.
I turned in my assignment an hour ago.
-You what? -Yep, and I passed.
Now we can all go to the lake house.
Ollie, that's great, but I don't understand.
How did you figure it out?
I found an online tutorial.
It taught me everything I needed to know.
Was it Fraction Phil?
You know, it doesn't matter.
-I'm really proud of you. -Thanks.
But you know what Einstein said, "Nothing says 'good job' better than pie!"
(silverware clinks)
-Hey. How was the wedding? -A disaster.
Your children lied to get out of going to my bassoon event,
and made me literally crash a wedding so I wouldn't find out.
By the way, we owe Benedito and his wife $145.
Whoa! Back up.
There's another bassoon thing?
It's an event. Next week.
-Oh-- -You're going.
(sighs) Try and stop me.
Charlotte, I'm sorry we lied.
You were just trying to avoid going to my event
because you think everything I do is boring and a waste of time.
Yes! She gets it. We're off the hook.
Why didn't you just tell me? I would have been fine with it.
Okay, now who's lying?
Look, I'm... I'm sorry that I found something I love to do,
and that it actually means something to have my family there to support me.
We're happy you found something you love, and we do support you.
It's just hard to support you at every single recital.
I mean, you don't come to all my hockey games.
Or all of my dance competitions.
And don't even get me started on Lil Fred's open mic nights.
The North Plains Tribune said, "We're confused."
What we're saying is even though you're not always there,
we still know you're supporting us.
And we'll always be supporting you.
Just sometimes from afar.
I have to admit, you guy are making some good points.
I guess you don't have to come to all of my events.
-Thanks. -We'll be there in spirit.
(chuckles) Sweet Joseph, we're free!
Okay, so next, you wanna take this fraction here, and...
-Hey! -(bangs)
Pay attention, Walker.
Or I'll have to send you to the principal's office.
But I... I am the principal.
Not today.
(bangs)
Oh, hey, I think I figured it out.
-Wrong. -(thwacks)
-Try again. -Both: (sigh)
Why are we not gettin' this?
Don't worry. I'll get you guys there.
You know what? Maybe I'll become a teacher one day.
I'm really enjoying this.
Helping others?
No. Whacking stuff.
(thwacking)
(banging)
(thwacking continues)
Fred: "We're confused!"