1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.LT 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.LT 3 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,980 [GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC] 4 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,419 NARRATOR: Oh, hello there. 5 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,813 It's my absolute pleasure to welcome you 6 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:34,773 to the leafy North London suburb of Muswell Hill, 7 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,603 a pretty unremarkable place for the most part, 8 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:42,259 were it not for its curious inhabitants, 9 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,132 people of imagination and ingenuity 10 00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:46,611 with a love of the past 11 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:50,354 and an unshakeable belief in the future. 12 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:53,618 But this little world was changed forever 13 00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:56,230 by a sequence of extraordinary events. 14 00:00:57,579 --> 00:01:00,451 And it all started six years ago 15 00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:03,324 on a mews behind the high street 16 00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:06,631 ah, yes, that one, 17 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,765 at this vintage shop, 18 00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:12,420 run by best friends Ruth and Megan, 19 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,335 but I'll let them explain. 20 00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:17,512 Uh, we sell vintage and, I, I don't really like 21 00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,079 the word retro, but people like to say it. 22 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,950 But we just basically sell anything 23 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:24,345 that we can get our hands on, really, that's from the past. 24 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,870 MEGAN: There's no kind of particular period we stock and sell. 25 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,915 It's just anything that catches our eye. 26 00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:34,006 So like, we'll put '50s, and '70s, and '80s together. 27 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,139 Business has really picked up lately. 28 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,620 RUTH: Yeah, I think it was about, probably about a month ago. 29 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,057 - Yeah. - We found this thing outside. 30 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,233 It was literally by the bins. 31 00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:45,627 MEGAN: We weren't sure whether to take it or not 32 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,456 'cause it just looked like some kind 33 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,588 of school project or something. 34 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:53,939 But we were just drawn to it, so we kind of dragged it in. 35 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:57,117 Yeah, and then I guess we were just messing about and... 36 00:01:57,247 --> 00:02:00,250 And I went to 1945. 37 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,165 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 38 00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:05,429 RUTH: The machine enables us to go to that point in time. 39 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,737 So basically, to get from A, which is here, to go to B, 40 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,696 which is 1959, we put it in the machine, 41 00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:16,092 and then it's like this vortex, this portal to-- 42 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,833 MEGAN: It's undescribable, really. 43 00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:18,703 Yeah. 44 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,444 - System? - Check. 45 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:22,490 And destination? 46 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,536 - Check. - And fuel cell one. 47 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,886 We're not kind of scientifically minded. 48 00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:31,281 So I mean, I, I say it's a wormhole, 49 00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:33,457 but I actually don't know what a wormhole is. 50 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:35,155 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 51 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,113 [LAMP CLANKING] 52 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,334 RUTH: Maybe they've got some pewter. 53 00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,727 - MEGAN: Oh. - RUTH: People like pewter. 54 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:43,641 [CROWD CHEERING] 55 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,208 [DRUMS BANGING] 56 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,863 [CROWD MEMBERS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 57 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,430 RUTH: Since we found the machine, 58 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,563 we can pretty much get anything we want. 59 00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:54,043 Wow. 60 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:57,742 Mm, the ceramics are quite good. 61 00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,091 RUTH: Ceramics. 62 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:02,399 Uh, and, uh, metalware always does quite well. 63 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,184 Uh, I mean, like, if somebody wanted, like, 64 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:06,664 a car from the '50s, that would be difficult. 65 00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,884 We've never brought anything that big back. 66 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:09,928 But it's great for our business 67 00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:13,410 because you know, we do clothing, homeware 68 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:16,500 You know, it, it's, it's portable stuff. 69 00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:19,111 [FUNKY MUSIC] 70 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:24,943 RUTH: I don't think it's stealing. 71 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,902 I mean, because we don't stick around long enough 72 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,077 to know what happens afterwards, 73 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,644 I kind of, in my head, just imagine 74 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:32,342 that those things just reappear for those people. 75 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:33,213 [DOGS BARKING] 76 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,388 Come on. Go, go, go. 77 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,782 The whole process has cut costs right down 78 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:40,568 because it's, it's a lot cheaper in the past. 79 00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:41,743 Well it's free. 80 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:44,354 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 81 00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:53,755 I mean, yeah, sometimes 82 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,192 we, we, we do take quite a lot of stuff. 83 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,412 We have got a storage issue now. 84 00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,761 RUTH: Yeah, upstairs is quite jam packed. 85 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,066 MEGAN: Mm. 86 00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,199 RUTH: We're, we're trying to get it sorted. 87 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,461 [TOY SQUEAKING] 88 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,202 RUTH: We just need to get more space. 89 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,204 It's just hard to sometimes hold back 90 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,162 because there's just so much good stuff. 91 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,860 Like, the other day, there was something at the back, 92 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,383 and I couldn't get it, so we just-- 93 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,037 Went and got another one. 94 00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:18,519 Went in the machine and just got it again. 95 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,694 We got a cat once, actually. 96 00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:20,825 [EXHALES] 97 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,174 It sort of didn't stay in the machine, 98 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,220 which was really, it was quite sad. 99 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,091 MEGAN: Yeah, harrowing. 100 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,749 The machine's our secret, really. 101 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,534 Yeah, no one knows it's here. 102 00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:34,448 MEGAN: Mm. 103 00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:35,405 And no one knows we're using it. 104 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:36,580 MEGAN: Mm. 105 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:37,842 Apart from you guys, obviously. 106 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:38,756 Mm. 107 00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,287 RUTH: I think people just, uh, 108 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,158 they, they hanker for things they had, 109 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,117 and they, they have this nostalgia and-- 110 00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:53,989 MEGAN: You just can't put a price on nostalgia. 111 00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:55,512 RUTH: No. We, we do, though. 112 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:56,992 Yeah, we do. 113 00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:58,820 - RUTH: Pays the rent. - MEGAN: Yeah. 114 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:01,344 [MELLOW MUSIC] 115 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,912 Uh, we, we sort of take care 116 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,609 of different sides of the business each. 117 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:08,003 So I guess you take care of all the customers, really. 118 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,918 They seem to really like Megan. 119 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,268 - MEGAN: Mm. - She's very good with people. 120 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,922 They just love me. 121 00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:16,446 RUTH: And I do like more the admin jobs, 122 00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,622 like, um, paying bills, um-- 123 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:20,711 Bookkeeping. 124 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,800 - Yeah, a bit of cleaning. - Yeah. 125 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:23,975 [VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING] 126 00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:25,325 MEGAN: Could you, could you turn it off? 127 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,064 Yeah. 128 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,762 [VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING] 129 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:31,461 Yeah, so it's, um, it's measured by light years per year 130 00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:34,682 at the precessing longitude of the progressive node. 131 00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:38,294 Mm, and that's how you turn it on. 132 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:41,341 Uh, no, that's how you turn it on. 133 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:44,735 I know, I know, but that is, we do press that one. 134 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,564 That's, like, the seat adjustment. 135 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,305 Yeah, 'cause sometimes it's too, 136 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,307 it's a little bit low. 137 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,570 I do most of the driving. 138 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,311 Um-- 139 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,921 You do all of the driving. 140 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,141 - I do all of the driving. - I'm fine with that. 141 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:00,272 I haven't got any problems with it. 142 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,361 I'm not even-- 143 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,275 It's, Ruth gets quite anxious driving. 144 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,103 I'm quite anxious about a lot of things, 145 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:08,672 but mainly just the, all this is quite, like-- 146 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,282 - Overwhelming. - Yeah. 147 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:11,545 Meegs, I don't think, I don't actually think 148 00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:12,763 you should be doing this. 149 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:13,938 I think, fuck, fuck, fuck, it's on fire. 150 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:14,896 - Oh. - Meegs, it's on fire. 151 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:16,854 MEGAN: Uh, uh, spray then. 152 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,335 Can you just take that bit off, and then I can just do it? 153 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,510 'Cause it's equal. 154 00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:21,555 It's still equal parts-- 155 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,382 - Yeah, no, we all do-- - 'Cause I do-- 156 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,992 We all do our bit. 157 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,387 Uh, been friends for a long time. 158 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:30,564 Uh, I just don't really like the term best friend. 159 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:31,869 We're definitely best friends. 160 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,349 - Um-- - Definitely. 161 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,789 Found all these tapes with the time machine. 162 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,618 They're of this old science show, totally hooked now. 163 00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:44,012 [TAPE CLATTERING] 164 00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:45,492 [TAPE WHIRRING] 165 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:48,059 Hello there, I'm Dr. Ralph Sheldrake. 166 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,018 [LAUGHS] And I'm Botty. 167 00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:51,672 And welcome to "The Future, Today." 168 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:52,977 Today. 169 00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,632 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 170 00:06:55,763 --> 00:07:04,598 [♪] 171 00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,386 [HANDS THUDDING] 172 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:14,216 [UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES] 173 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:17,654 With the rapid advancement in artificial intelligence, 174 00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:21,005 what we really want to know is, will computers ever be able 175 00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,268 to destroy humans... 176 00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:25,836 ...at chess? 177 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:27,838 Your move. 178 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:30,493 [PIECE CLANKING] 179 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:31,320 [RALPH LAUGHING] 180 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,408 What? 181 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,932 I think that's checkmate, mate. 182 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,107 [BOTTY SCREAMING] 183 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,719 It seems Botty still has a long way to go. 184 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,372 [TAPE NOISE] 185 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,984 [PENSIVE COUNTRY MUSIC] 186 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,769 Uh, so we've got, we've come to America. 187 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,771 MEGAN: The Wild West. We've never been before. 188 00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,166 [CHURCH BELL RINGING] 189 00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:52,994 I think a lot of the stuff here is handmade. 190 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,604 - Yeah, it's just really-- - Oh, that's nice. 191 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:55,605 Oh, hello. 192 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,783 It's nice, but there is a bit of a weird vibe, though. 193 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:00,697 There's a lot of toxic-- 194 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,046 - Yeah. - Masculinity, I'd say. 195 00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,134 Yeah. 196 00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,701 Not somewhere that I would wanna-- 197 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,616 WOMAN 1: Oh, it's kicking off. 198 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:07,399 [GUNSHOT BLASTING] 199 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:08,270 [COWBOY SCREAMING] 200 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,184 [ONLOOKERS SCREAMING] 201 00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:10,402 He just shot him. 202 00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,143 RUTH: That's weird. Is he all right? 203 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:14,755 Surely there's better ways to resolve conflict. 204 00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,104 [GUNSHOTS BLASTING] 205 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:19,020 [ONLOOKERS SCREAMING] 206 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,238 Wow. 207 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,110 Do we, do we, should tell someone or? 208 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,373 Look at this. It's actually been hand-stitched. 209 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,461 Beautiful. 210 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,897 Um, I mean, the thing is, in Muswell Hill, 211 00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,508 you get a lot of vegans, so I don't know 212 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,813 if they're gonna be into the leather, 213 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:32,424 but we could try sell it to, to people in Wood Green? 214 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,819 Um, but yeah, I mean... 215 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,126 [ONLOOKER SCREAMING AND SOBBING] 216 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,736 - Shit. - That's bad. 217 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,129 That's, oh-- 218 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,609 What a waste of life. 219 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:43,740 [FLIES BUZZING] 220 00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:46,351 MEGAN: Did, did he, did he get the hat? 221 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,789 I think we can just take that because that'll just get, 222 00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:49,920 you could probably get that dry cleaned. 223 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:50,921 [COWBOY GROANING] 224 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:51,879 I don't think there's blood on it. 225 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:56,666 [RAMBLING COUNTRY MUSIC] 226 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:11,202 [FEET THUDDING] 227 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,554 [EXHALES] 228 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,643 [TAPE MEASURE RATTLING] 229 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:17,861 [TAPE MEASURE CLANKING] 230 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,428 [PAPER RUSTLING] 231 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,516 - RICK: So what do you reckon? - I don't know how it's gonna-- 232 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,823 Shh, Ruth, I'm talking to Dave. Dave? 233 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,389 DAVE: [ON PHONE] It's a bit small, mate. 234 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,870 It's not small. It's, it's compact. It's modern. 235 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,393 It's luxury. 236 00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,526 Yeah, so, um, I've been in the property development game 237 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:31,962 for the past four years now. 238 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,791 And key thing, must have vision. 239 00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,532 I mean, imagine what this place would look like 240 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,925 without all this shit in here. 241 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:38,969 - Ruth. - DAVE: Mm-hmm. 242 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,275 Move your head. I'm taking pictures. 243 00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,494 You're spoiling it. You need luxury flats. 244 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,409 What you don't need are charity shops. 245 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,411 - It's not a charity shop. - Well it smells like one. 246 00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,326 Hold that. Go to the back. 247 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:51,242 Go to the back and bring, over there. 248 00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,680 [ITEM SHATTERING] 249 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:54,681 RICK: Higher, Ruth. 250 00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,033 Hold it up higher, Ruth. 251 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,208 My arms hurt. 252 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:00,948 Let go. 253 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,514 [TAPE MEASURE CLANKING] 254 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:03,603 RICK: Where's that lovely Megan? 255 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,387 Uh, Megan is not here. 256 00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:06,388 RICK: Oh, that's a shame. 257 00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,172 She's the better one. 258 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,260 [HANDS DRUMMING AND FINGERS CLICKING] 259 00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:10,218 RICK: Rent. 260 00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,089 I've got it all ready. 261 00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,874 That's for you. 262 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:14,614 RICK: Bloody hell, where'd you get that from? 263 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:15,440 Did you rob a bank? 264 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:16,703 No, not a bank. 265 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,182 Lovely to see you. 266 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,098 RICK: Yeah. 267 00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,534 - RICK: Ciao, ciao. - RUTH: Bye, Rick. 268 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:23,971 RUTH: Should I just put the ladder away? 269 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,494 RICK: Ciao, ciao. 270 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:27,888 - MEGAN: Is he gone? - Yeah, he's gone. 271 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,759 Oh, what a dick. 272 00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:31,935 Coulda helped me. 273 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:35,025 Rick's kinda your department, you know, complaints, refunds. 274 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:38,507 Ah, Brenda, I've got that, um, antique letter opener 275 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,030 you were after. 276 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:41,031 [SWORD RASPING] 277 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,729 BRENDA: Oh, never mind that anymore. 278 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,948 Um, listen, I've got just a thing for you. 279 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,558 Just not really buying anything at the moment, Brenda. 280 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:47,603 No, it's not for the shop. 281 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,083 It's for you. 282 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,694 Look at this. Look at this. 283 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,044 I mean, look, it's too young for Ruth and me, 284 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,220 but it would be absolutely perfect for you. 285 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,222 We're the same age. 286 00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,529 I'm just, I just don't need anything, Brenda. 287 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,617 RUTH: But it's great. It's great, but-- 288 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:02,618 So, you know. 289 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,446 Can I help you? 290 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,491 Yes, I think you might be able to help, actually. 291 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:11,366 I'm very interested in, uh, where you get all these things. 292 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,498 Yeah, I mean it's, it's a bit of a trade secret, 293 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:14,412 to be honest, but we-- 294 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,719 For 50 pence. 50 pence. 295 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,504 I don't want this. 296 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:22,551 No, well, I mean I spend a lot of my life in charity shops. 297 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,640 RUTH: Oh, this isn't a charity shop. 298 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,729 Bric-a-brac stores, you know, full of rubbish. 299 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,035 RUTH: Yeah, yeah. It's vintage actually. 300 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,471 - Uh. - But yeah. 301 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:34,302 But this, to my untutored eye, they seem obviously old 302 00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,652 but also somehow new. 303 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,219 BRENDA: Okay, I'm losing money here. 304 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,176 MARTIN: One might almost say. 305 00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:40,438 It's called dead stock, I think. 306 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:41,135 - That's what-- - MARTIN: Pardon? 307 00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:42,136 Dead stock. 308 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,660 Brenda, I don't want it. 309 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,444 This really should be in the British Museum. 310 00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:47,750 I know. It's amazing, isn't it? 311 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,970 We actually got it directly from Egypt. 312 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,972 Yeah, hi, are you actually interested in anything? 313 00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,234 Yes, yes. 314 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,671 I have actually seen things I'm interested in. 315 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,281 Oh, sorry, we're not actually buying at the moment. 316 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,239 RUTH: And we haven't really got the budget. 317 00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,501 [BODY THUDDING] 318 00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:00,371 Why did you... 319 00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:01,329 [BODY THUDDING] 320 00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:07,857 Must be hot. 321 00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,816 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 322 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:13,254 If you're serious about vintage, come to Cha Cha Cha. 323 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,517 MEGAN: If it's '50s, '60s, '70s, '90s. 324 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,953 - RUTH: '80s. - MEGAN: '90s. 325 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:17,998 MEGAN: We've got it all. 326 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,129 We mix periods. 327 00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,872 Hello, Cha Cha Cha. 328 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:25,527 Yeah, our kind and courteous staff are on hand 329 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:28,008 to help you find any items from the past. 330 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,140 Um, we use cutting-edge techniques 331 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,925 and an expert knowledge of history. 332 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,927 No job's too small. 333 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:35,537 Sorry, none of these fucking pens work, Megan. 334 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:36,451 What the? 335 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,196 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 336 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:46,809 RUTH: Cha Cha Cha. 337 00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,115 [TV CLICKING] 338 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,944 Ralph, what have you got to say? 339 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:54,034 Well, yes, that is my time machine. 340 00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,209 MARTIN: Mm. 341 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,385 But, but I destroyed it over 20 years ago. 342 00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:58,952 Excuse me, Martin. 343 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,041 Is this a social meeting? 344 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,956 No, it's a meeting. 345 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:03,913 Well, you didn't send me an agenda, 346 00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,654 so I didn't send one out. 347 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,612 No one knows the time or place of the meeting. 348 00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:08,831 MARTIN: Well, yeah, except everyone's here, 349 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,225 and I'm explaining the agenda now. 350 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,792 Okay, but just, you wanna let me know 351 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,010 what the objectives of the meeting-- 352 00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,403 MEETING MEMBERS: Oh, come on. Go take a hike. 353 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:19,363 [VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING] 354 00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,496 MARTIN: Ralph has cocked up big time. 355 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,063 Now, I don't know, uh, who these two women are. 356 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,805 They're obviously bloody idiots, but they have got it. 357 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,676 It, it definitely doesn't work, 358 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,896 and it definitely doesn't go back in time. 359 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,593 Really, Ralph. 360 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,986 [BOX THUDDING] 361 00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:33,595 [MARTIN GRUNTING] 362 00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:34,465 [COINS RATTLING] 363 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:35,815 [BOWL CLANKING] 364 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:42,560 Stolen, purloined, thieved, nabbed from the past. 365 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,433 It's not possible. 366 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,652 I mean, this is really dangerous. 367 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,045 ALEX: You are not wrong, Ralph. 368 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:52,614 This is a serious breach of our secrecy policy and this. 369 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,094 No, no, no, no. [SIGHS] 370 00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:56,226 I got rid of it because it lands you-- in the-- 371 00:13:56,357 --> 00:14:00,274 Okay, so-- one dash two, paragraph three, secrecy. 372 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,147 If unanimously agreed by members, the perpetrator, 373 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,671 that's Ralph, uh, shall be expelled from the society 374 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,238 and their research confiscated. 375 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,545 That means we take the time machine. 376 00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,068 - It becomes mine. - VALERIE: Expulsion? 377 00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,809 - Well the societies obviously. - Isn't that a bit harsh? 378 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:14,897 I mean, Ralph didn't know 379 00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,943 these two idiots would find his machine. 380 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,466 You've already thrown out all of my friends. 381 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,511 Ralph's the only one left. 382 00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:23,471 ALEX: I'm your friend, Val. 383 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,473 MARTIN: Ralph, your time machine is in the hands of two 384 00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,736 of the most stupid, most ignorant, 385 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,869 low-intelligence people in Muswell Hill. 386 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,044 MEGAN: What is this? 387 00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,612 Is it, like, some sort of club? 388 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,832 No, it's not a club. It's a society. 389 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,399 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 390 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:40,792 NARRATOR: The Technology Engineering Scientific Thought 391 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,882 and Innovation Society 392 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,058 was founded by Valerie Lancaster 393 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:48,409 and Ralph Sheldrake at the turn of the millennium 394 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,195 as a forum for local inventors to share their ideas. 395 00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:55,068 In 2008, Martin Onions joined. 396 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,288 He quickly assumed control. 397 00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:00,769 The committee also includes Peter Kiddler 398 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,684 and Secretary Alex Lemin. 399 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,904 The society has many rules, 400 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:07,907 the most important of which is secrecy. 401 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,954 I mean, do you not remember the society motto? 402 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:18,047 Well, it's inserere hic sententiam, inventing in secret. 403 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:21,224 NARRATOR: It actually means, insert motto here, 404 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:24,662 a misunderstanding of the badge design website. 405 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,186 I mean, what do you think would happen, 406 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,144 I mean, if all the inventions got out there? 407 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,450 Well, I mean, it would probably be a much-- 408 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,931 No, I, I'm, I haven't finished, Val. 409 00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:35,760 If the government come knocking on that door-- 410 00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:37,327 I'm locking up. 411 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:41,244 To take your valuable work, that's the end of all this fun. 412 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,463 Secrecy is key. 413 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,857 [DOOR CLATTERING AND SQUEAKING] 414 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,424 RALPH: You are never to use that machine again. 415 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,905 It's very important. 416 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,342 It's damaged in a way you wouldn't understand. 417 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,083 What, what, what's the problem with it? 418 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,477 I had a bad experience. 419 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:02,178 [PEOPLE YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 420 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,877 Okay, until we find a safe and secure location 421 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,531 for the machine, I think you two should attend 422 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:08,880 these meetings once a week. 423 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,360 - I can't do that. - What? 424 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,535 - I've got other commitments. - MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 425 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,102 MARTIN: You might even learn a, a little bit 426 00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:15,757 about the rudiments of science, not that Ralph's old TV show 427 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,151 hasn't furnished you with a formidable education. 428 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,762 - It was a good show, so-- - Oh, my God, it's Dr. Sheldrake. 429 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,416 "The Future, Today." 430 00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,244 - Do you live in Muswell Hill? - We watch all your shows. 431 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:25,723 - We've got them on tape. - Oh, my God, love you. 432 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,421 Really enjoy them. 433 00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,423 ALEX: So all those in favour of giving Ralph another chance. 434 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,250 RALPH: Oh. 435 00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:34,471 And, um, giving honorary membership 436 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,952 to Ruth and Megan for the, for the time being. 437 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,562 - My job, my job, Alex. - VALERIE: Oh. 438 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:39,868 My job, Val. 439 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,610 Right, so all those in favour say aye. 440 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:43,698 MEMBERS: Aye. 441 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,655 - Motion passed. - RALPH: Thank you. 442 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,309 Oh, shit. 443 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,746 I think we should all start taking 444 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,313 this place more seriously. 445 00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:52,228 ALEX: Martin? 446 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,404 Shall I put this in the minutes, Martin? 447 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,624 'Cause it, it sounded like it was to yourself 448 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:59,061 but it, it could have also not been to yourself 449 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,367 So I'm just, I'm not exactly sure 450 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:01,629 I'm recording everything, 451 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,065 but I don't have to be recording anything. 452 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:06,634 I could just, I could just, I could focus on the loud stuff 453 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,636 as opposed to some of the more quieter stuff. 454 00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:12,118 If I go open paragraph, that's the loud stuff. 455 00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:14,468 Great, can we go now? 456 00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,471 You can go when I've sworn you in as a member. 457 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:18,689 You're a member. 458 00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,476 Yes, I, I'm a member, yes. 459 00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:24,391 - Yeah, we're all members. - Yeah. Big one. 460 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,088 You're not a member yet till I've sworn you in as a member, 461 00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:28,047 but that's how it works in this society. 462 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:30,179 All right? 463 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:36,968 [MARTIN SIGHS] 464 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,845 - Oh, my God, that looks amazing. - I mean, why the fuck? 465 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,065 Rocket boots. 466 00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,763 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 467 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:49,590 Um. 468 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,158 [FIRE EXTINGUISHER THUDDING] 469 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,247 Right, so Peter is gonna show us his boots. 470 00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,205 There is a pyrotechnical element to his footwear, 471 00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,685 so I think safety first. 472 00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,513 - That's one of my mantra. - ALEX: Motto. 473 00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,297 [MARTIN MURMURS] 474 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,386 So we're in the science club now. 475 00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:04,996 They took our details. 476 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,172 I fake numbered them. 477 00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:07,869 - Oh, I gave 'em your number. - Oh, what? 478 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,262 - I don't know my number. - What's the point of that? 479 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:10,176 - I don't know my number. - Hi, I'm just wondering. 480 00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,612 - RUTH: Hi. - MEGAN: Mr. Sheldrake, hi. 481 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:12,743 I'm wondering if I could come over and inspect the machine. 482 00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:13,701 MEGAN: Oh, my God, yes. Anytime. 483 00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:14,571 RUTH: Amazing. 484 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,095 Give me, like-- 485 00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,618 RUTH: Could I get your autograph? Like, is that okay? 486 00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:18,401 I know that's a bit weird thing to say. 487 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,489 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 488 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,838 Come along, come along. Gather around. 489 00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,101 Nearly, ready. 490 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:25,104 [ROCKET BOOT REVVING] 491 00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:26,583 [AIR WHOOSHING] 492 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,716 No, uh, no, no, no, no. 493 00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:29,978 No, get off me. 494 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:30,805 - Get it off me. - RUTH: Have you got a Meegs. 495 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,023 PETER: Why no one helping me? 496 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,547 - Has anyone got a pen? - PETER: It's not safe. 497 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:34,939 Get it off me. 498 00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:35,810 No, no. 499 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:36,811 [WHISTLE TWEETING] 500 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,508 Valerie and I, we met on the show, 501 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,467 and we thought it'd be fun 502 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,208 to share ideas with like-minded people. 503 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,905 So we set up a club. 504 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:44,993 Then, one night, 505 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,255 - Martin shows up. - PETER: Help me. 506 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:47,996 Before you know it, he installs himself as, 507 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,041 as chairman. 508 00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:53,262 Valerie blames herself for losing control, yeah. 509 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,090 But Martin is unstoppable. 510 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,657 There appears to be a slight fire. 511 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:57,919 ALEX: Point and relax. 512 00:18:58,049 --> 00:18:59,486 You realize you're very lucky. 513 00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,314 Time travel is dangerous. 514 00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:05,405 The entire universe is held in thin strands of a-- 515 00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,320 Yeah, of course, of course. 516 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,234 It's hot. 517 00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:09,148 [WHISTLE TWEETING] 518 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:13,152 [FIRE EXTINGUISHER HISSING] 519 00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,327 Ralph gave us his autograph. 520 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,980 Look. 521 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:16,764 [LEAVES RUSTLING] 522 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:17,982 [ROCKET WHOOSHING] 523 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:18,896 MEGAN: What does it say? 524 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,942 It says, it says Ralph Sheldrake. 525 00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,465 That's his name. 526 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,772 Oh, it says, it says time travel is dangerous or something. 527 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,209 Something about-- 528 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,820 - Danger. - Danger. 529 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:33,302 [THUNDER CLAPPING] 530 00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,261 TV REPORTER: [ON TV] Two significant things have changed since the beginning 531 00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:36,175 of the month. 532 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,872 For starters, rain has arrived, 533 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,526 unusual for this time of the year, 534 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,441 and we have seen some weird 535 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,878 in the cloud patterns as of recently. 536 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:46,141 - Where have you been? - MEGAN: Got dinner. 537 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,578 TV REPORTER: [ON TV] Lower pressure circling London, so do watch out 538 00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:50,928 for those dark clouds and those high winds 539 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:51,973 if you're planning on going out. 540 00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:55,106 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 541 00:19:57,108 --> 00:20:00,199 [RAIN PATTERING & THUNDER RUMBLING] 542 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,939 Where did you get that? 543 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,638 Well, I didn't get it from China if that's what you mean. 544 00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:08,859 Megan, Pat's Choi shut down about three years ago. 545 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,644 They just don't make it this tasty anymore. 546 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:11,993 [SIGHS] 547 00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:12,994 I just don't think we should be using the machine 548 00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,039 to do this kinda thing anymore, you know? 549 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,825 Like, I just keep thinking about what Dr. Sheldrake said 550 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,392 and, like, how it's really dangerous, 551 00:20:19,522 --> 00:20:20,871 and, like, what if that's 552 00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:23,483 why I'm getting all these headaches, and nosebleeds, 553 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,659 and, like, why I'm being sick all the time. 554 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,617 Well, to be fair, you are a bit of a hypochondriac. 555 00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,663 I just feel like we need to try and stop. 556 00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,318 Well, where do you suggest we find all of these, like, 557 00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:35,973 authentic historical objects d'art then? 558 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,716 We could go to charity shops again or bin diving. 559 00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:40,630 Are you joking? 560 00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,893 Well, but we did it before. 561 00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,808 Like, you can't run a vintage shop 562 00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:47,985 without a time machine these days, Ruth. 563 00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,596 RUTH: The other day, I went to the toilet, 564 00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,119 and I did the weirdest poo, like, almost had, 565 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,599 like, tones of blue in it. 566 00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:54,427 Like, I've never seen anything like it. 567 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,864 I was gonna call you and show you, but I don't know. 568 00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:58,300 All these things have been happening to me. 569 00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,389 I kinda feel like maybe it's related. 570 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,783 It's not something that we've, we, we're, we're, 571 00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,002 we're clued up about and are scientists, 572 00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:06,395 and they're telling us to stop doing it. 573 00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,179 So we need to stop doing it. 574 00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,443 I don't wanna risk my health for something, you know. 575 00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:11,444 Mm. Yeah. 576 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:12,706 RUTH: I wanna try a different way. 577 00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,316 Sure, okay, we'll do it your way. 578 00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:16,144 Don't how that's gonna work out, but yeah. 579 00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:22,542 So we'll just, we're not gonna time travel anymore. 580 00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:25,458 MEGAN: Yeah, we'll, we'll find our stuff in bins. 581 00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:26,894 RUTH: Well, I just feel like we could at least-- 582 00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:28,852 I just don't wanna talk about time travel anymore, okay? 583 00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:32,073 Okay, God. 584 00:21:33,204 --> 00:21:34,467 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 585 00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:37,818 Did you know that time travel is actually possible? 586 00:21:37,948 --> 00:21:39,907 Did you know that, Botty? 587 00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:42,170 Yes, I did know that. 588 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:46,174 Well, that's because we all travel forward in time. 589 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,089 Yeah, I even knew you were going to say that. 590 00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:50,961 And with us today is Professor Valerie Lancaster. 591 00:21:51,832 --> 00:21:52,876 Hi, Valerie. 592 00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:54,138 Hi, Valerie. 593 00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:56,271 Welcome to "The Future, Today." 594 00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,229 - Hello, Ralph. - Hello, Botty. I mean-- 595 00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,492 - RALPH: So Valerie-- - What, am I invisible or what? 596 00:21:59,622 --> 00:22:03,147 What can you tell us about time travel in the real world? 597 00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:06,629 Amazingly enough, calculations by physicists show 598 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,285 that we can travel backwards in time as well as forwards. 599 00:22:10,416 --> 00:22:13,897 So, in theory, you could make a time machine. 600 00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:18,119 Unfortunately not, this is all theoretical. 601 00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,860 Um, time travel is completely impossible. 602 00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:20,817 RALPH: Yes. 603 00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:22,341 I mean, near a wormhole, 604 00:22:22,471 --> 00:22:25,126 all the laws of physics are warped. 605 00:22:25,256 --> 00:22:27,433 Who are you to say what's possible? 606 00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:30,218 Well, if a time machine had been invented, 607 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,133 then surely, time travellers 608 00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:34,309 from the future would've come back to visit us. 609 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,310 [RALPH LAUGHING] 610 00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,573 She's got you there. 611 00:22:37,704 --> 00:22:38,879 [VALERIE AND RALPH LAUGHING] 612 00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:40,228 [BOTTY LAUGHING] 613 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,577 - BOTTY: How's she got me? - Yeah. 614 00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:43,492 Thank you for visiting, Valerie. 615 00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:45,494 BOTTY: I said, how has she got me? 616 00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:46,539 Thank you, Ralph. 617 00:22:46,669 --> 00:22:48,105 - Cheers - And, uh-- 618 00:22:48,236 --> 00:22:49,585 BOTTY: I said, how's she got me? 619 00:22:49,716 --> 00:22:51,805 - Next, on "The Future, Today." - BOTTY: How's she got me? 620 00:22:51,935 --> 00:22:53,067 RUTH: No, no, that's not for sale. 621 00:22:53,197 --> 00:22:53,633 ELDERLY LADY: I don't understand. 622 00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:54,938 No, but it's our, 623 00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:56,375 it's the Hoover that we used to clean the shop. 624 00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:58,986 Ah, that's disappointing. 625 00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:01,336 This used to be my favourite charity shop. 626 00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:04,034 [PAPER RUSTLING] 627 00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:05,514 Ah, fuck. 628 00:23:05,645 --> 00:23:06,689 What is it? 629 00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:08,691 - Final demand. - Shit. 630 00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:11,346 [PAPER RUSTLING] 631 00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:13,217 Final demand. 632 00:23:13,348 --> 00:23:14,436 Oh, fuck. 633 00:23:15,132 --> 00:23:16,656 - What is it? - What do they want? 634 00:23:16,786 --> 00:23:19,354 [PLAYFUL MUSIC] 635 00:23:20,355 --> 00:23:21,965 Hi, everyone, I'm Max. 636 00:23:22,096 --> 00:23:24,011 Let me tell you about my invention. 637 00:23:24,141 --> 00:23:25,969 I call it the resizer. 638 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,319 This was a chair. 639 00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,887 Invisibility is a, is a, something 640 00:23:31,018 --> 00:23:33,716 that a lotta people could find useful in their daily lives. 641 00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:35,631 You could listen in and find out 642 00:23:35,762 --> 00:23:37,111 what people honestly think about you. 643 00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:39,113 [CLEARS THROAT] 644 00:23:39,243 --> 00:23:42,116 I call this the hat controller. 645 00:23:42,246 --> 00:23:44,335 It is designed to make the wearer do things 646 00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:45,467 that they don't want to do. 647 00:23:47,121 --> 00:23:48,557 Would you like to have a go? 648 00:23:48,688 --> 00:23:50,994 It's a dream recorder. 649 00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,170 And now, we should be recording. 650 00:23:53,301 --> 00:23:54,302 Oh, hang on. 651 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,173 [COMPUTER RASPING] 652 00:24:01,657 --> 00:24:03,616 ALEX: I'm over here, but you can't see me. 653 00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,835 I'm throwing my voice so you don't know where I am. 654 00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:08,751 Is I can use it to communicate with fish. 655 00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:10,492 A robot dentist. 656 00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:12,102 Now, you don't wanna check the fridge, 657 00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:13,016 and you want to see if there's 658 00:24:13,147 --> 00:24:14,888 something gone off in the fridge. 659 00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:17,368 It is, it's obviously, um, whoops. 660 00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:18,848 [LAUGHS] 661 00:24:18,979 --> 00:24:21,460 It's in its teething stages, you know, really. [LAUGHS] 662 00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:23,766 - Um. - Point, push the button. 663 00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,944 Point, push the button, very simple. 664 00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:29,772 It's just not working. 665 00:24:29,903 --> 00:24:30,730 Max is here. 666 00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:32,949 Get rid of him, charlatan. 667 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:35,996 ALEX: You're not in the club anymore. You're not a member. 668 00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:38,477 - We're just gonna-- - Really, I'm telling the truth. 669 00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:42,176 Clear the, the sofa, obviously, a doll's house. 670 00:24:44,787 --> 00:24:45,396 RUTH: There's a, there's a-- 671 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:46,876 [MEGAN GASPS] 672 00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:49,923 [INAUDIBLE] 673 00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:52,099 [LID CLATTERING] 674 00:24:52,229 --> 00:24:55,058 We're going through the bins trying to find stock. 675 00:24:55,189 --> 00:24:57,496 Trying to find things that we can sell. 676 00:24:57,626 --> 00:24:58,758 Mm. 677 00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:01,674 Oh, look, Meegs, that's quite nice. 678 00:25:01,804 --> 00:25:02,805 Is that Royal Doulton? 679 00:25:02,936 --> 00:25:04,198 [TEAPOT CLINKING] 680 00:25:04,328 --> 00:25:06,243 - Put a plant in it. - Put a plant in it. 681 00:25:06,374 --> 00:25:08,289 That's nice for kids, though, to do something plain, 682 00:25:08,419 --> 00:25:09,595 and they can write their name on it or-- 683 00:25:09,725 --> 00:25:11,945 - MEGAN: Mm, mm. - But that's quite nice. 684 00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:13,686 Um, I mean, it's not ideal, to be honest. 685 00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:15,078 - It's not really what-- - It's shit, Ruth. 686 00:25:15,209 --> 00:25:17,167 It's not really what we wanna be doing. 687 00:25:17,298 --> 00:25:19,256 - But it's a way to-- - Shit. 688 00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:20,736 It's a way to make ends meet. 689 00:25:20,867 --> 00:25:24,305 I don't really, we can't use the machine, so. 690 00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,438 [INDISTINCT SPEECH] 691 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,397 - I could tape it there. - MEGAN: Yeah. 692 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,268 I don't think I could actually do that 'cause it's got, 693 00:25:31,399 --> 00:25:34,097 in my mind, these very much go together as a pair. 694 00:25:34,228 --> 00:25:35,577 Ruth, found the other shoe. 695 00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:36,839 MEGAN: Oh, brilliant, that's great. 696 00:25:36,970 --> 00:25:38,275 They're actually really nice. 697 00:25:38,406 --> 00:25:41,627 No laces, but here's the other one. 698 00:25:41,757 --> 00:25:43,846 That just needs a new wire and a bulb, 699 00:25:43,977 --> 00:25:46,109 and, uh, maybe take the rust. 700 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,458 - RUTH: So-- - Look at that. 701 00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:49,983 That's a bottle of piss. 702 00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:51,462 We've done quite well today. 703 00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,682 - MEGAN: We've done really well. - What'd you get? 704 00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:55,118 [ITEMS CLATTERING] 705 00:25:55,249 --> 00:25:56,424 Oh, shit. 706 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,512 RUTH: Well. 707 00:25:57,643 --> 00:25:58,557 MEGAN: Just, just leave the tea pot. 708 00:25:58,687 --> 00:25:59,558 Leave the tea pot. 709 00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:01,255 [ITEMS CLATTERING] 710 00:26:01,385 --> 00:26:03,213 RUTH: I don't know. I think you can still fix it. 711 00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:05,999 - RUTH: Oh, there's a poo there. - MEGAN: Oh, no. 712 00:26:06,129 --> 00:26:09,176 RUTH: That's a, that is not a dog poo either. 713 00:26:10,786 --> 00:26:13,572 I mean, genuine vintage toy that, um. 714 00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:16,313 What about this vintage grill? 715 00:26:18,054 --> 00:26:19,534 [FLIES BUZZING] 716 00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:26,106 It's got, um, beautiful patina, um, and airflow control and, 717 00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:30,676 oh, my God, there goes another customer. 718 00:26:30,806 --> 00:26:33,026 [GENTLE MUSIC] 719 00:26:33,156 --> 00:26:34,288 [BELL RINGING] 720 00:26:34,418 --> 00:26:35,942 PETER: These are my predicto goggles. 721 00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:38,597 They allow the wearer to see about a minute 722 00:26:38,727 --> 00:26:40,511 into the future, give or take. 723 00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:44,167 Um, maybe I could have a volunteer to help me. 724 00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:46,909 Anyone, anyone? 725 00:26:48,694 --> 00:26:49,782 Any volunteers? 726 00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:52,436 Anyone at all? 727 00:26:54,264 --> 00:26:57,050 Yes, please, Ruth, up you come. 728 00:26:57,180 --> 00:26:58,704 Up you pop, Ruth. 729 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,227 Fuck's sake. 730 00:27:00,357 --> 00:27:02,751 My lovely, glamorous assistant will put these on. 731 00:27:02,882 --> 00:27:03,926 Yeah, you're putting them on. 732 00:27:04,057 --> 00:27:04,971 There you go. 733 00:27:05,101 --> 00:27:06,625 What can you see, Ruth? 734 00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:07,538 Whoa. 735 00:27:10,759 --> 00:27:13,109 I don't really see the point of these, to be honest. 736 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,284 What, what's, what am I supposed to be looking at? 737 00:27:14,415 --> 00:27:16,765 It's just all the same. 738 00:27:16,896 --> 00:27:19,246 Oh, you're holding your face. 739 00:27:19,376 --> 00:27:20,595 Are they frozen? 740 00:27:20,726 --> 00:27:21,640 - PETER: Actually-- - I think they're broken. 741 00:27:21,770 --> 00:27:22,728 PETER: They must have gone wrong. 742 00:27:22,858 --> 00:27:23,380 - Now, give it-- - I think they're working. 743 00:27:23,511 --> 00:27:25,121 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 744 00:27:25,252 --> 00:27:27,123 PETER: Look, look, you just need to turn it off. 745 00:27:27,254 --> 00:27:28,472 Turn it back on again, okay? 746 00:27:28,603 --> 00:27:30,126 Peter, I'm looking at them. 747 00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:31,824 You don't, they're my goggles. 748 00:27:31,954 --> 00:27:32,738 - Why have you got-- - Give me back my-- 749 00:27:32,868 --> 00:27:33,782 What's that weird thing on the top? 750 00:27:33,913 --> 00:27:35,218 PETER: Give me back my predicto goggles. 751 00:27:35,349 --> 00:27:37,656 Don't snatch. 752 00:27:41,921 --> 00:27:43,923 Oh, they're good. 753 00:27:44,053 --> 00:27:45,011 no, they're good. 754 00:27:48,231 --> 00:27:49,406 They actually work. 755 00:27:49,537 --> 00:27:51,757 [GENTLE MUSIC] 756 00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:56,370 Bill, bill, oh, this one's from Rick. 757 00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:57,850 RICK: Dear Ruth and Megan. 758 00:27:57,980 --> 00:27:59,025 Megan. 759 00:27:59,155 --> 00:28:00,417 RICK: It has come to my attention 760 00:28:00,548 --> 00:28:02,550 that your rent is seriously overdue. 761 00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,030 RUTH: Shit. 762 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,771 RICK: But I've had an idea. 763 00:28:05,901 --> 00:28:07,990 I thought, "Why don't I cut Ruth and Megan some slack 764 00:28:08,121 --> 00:28:09,209 on their rent? 765 00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:11,254 Because they're good girls and I like 'em." 766 00:28:11,385 --> 00:28:12,299 - Oh, that's nice. - Really? 767 00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:13,735 Well, that's good. 768 00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:15,258 RICK: But then I thought, 769 00:28:15,389 --> 00:28:16,042 "Fuck that." 770 00:28:16,172 --> 00:28:17,565 [RUTH AND MEGAN GASPING] 771 00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:18,697 [LAUGHING] 772 00:28:18,827 --> 00:28:20,089 That was really weird. 773 00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:21,351 I want my rent. 774 00:28:21,482 --> 00:28:23,179 We, we're gonna get it to you as soon as we can. 775 00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:25,225 We've just had to change up our business model a bit because-- 776 00:28:25,355 --> 00:28:26,661 Yeah, yeah, I don't care. 777 00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:28,315 If you don't pay by the end of the month, you're both out. 778 00:28:28,445 --> 00:28:29,925 Oh, no, Rick, please, we will get it to you. 779 00:28:30,056 --> 00:28:32,188 It is the law. 780 00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:35,235 In fact, if you fuck up again, you'd be doing me a favour. 781 00:28:35,365 --> 00:28:37,454 So fuck away, you fuckwits. 782 00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:38,804 Oh, say hi to Megan for me. 783 00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:41,545 - Megan, she's here. - RICK: Ciao, ciao. 784 00:28:42,895 --> 00:28:44,635 Guess your business model doesn't work. 785 00:28:46,072 --> 00:28:47,508 RUTH: Oh, it's awful. 786 00:28:47,638 --> 00:28:56,560 [♪] 787 00:28:58,345 --> 00:29:00,303 [TOOL CLANKING] 788 00:29:02,523 --> 00:29:04,699 In this structure, the vice chair is 789 00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:07,397 right adjacent to the chairman, whereas in this structure 790 00:29:07,528 --> 00:29:11,837 that I prefer, all the other positions are, in fact, 791 00:29:11,967 --> 00:29:16,406 subordinate to, uh, me or the, the, the chairman, 792 00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:21,542 which I think is a much more manageable system, don't you? 793 00:29:21,672 --> 00:29:23,196 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 794 00:29:23,326 --> 00:29:28,157 [GUNSHOTS BLASTING] 795 00:29:32,248 --> 00:29:32,727 SOLDIER: Fire. 796 00:29:32,858 --> 00:29:33,641 [GUNSHOTS BLASTING] 797 00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:34,555 Oh. 798 00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:36,775 [AIR WHOOSHING] 799 00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:37,993 You have some new stock in there? 800 00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:38,951 - RUTH: Yep. - MEGAN: Yep. 801 00:29:39,081 --> 00:29:40,039 Uh, I hope that's not from the past. 802 00:29:40,169 --> 00:29:40,909 We got some stuff when we were doing-- 803 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,084 MEGAN: Everything's from past. 804 00:29:42,215 --> 00:29:43,390 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 805 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,044 - Okay, well, that's not-- - MEGAN: Idiot. 806 00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:48,177 - Where's that chair from? - MEGAN: Oh, my God. 807 00:29:48,308 --> 00:29:51,702 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 808 00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:56,011 [MACHINES WHIRRING] 809 00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:01,625 RUTH: Let's see what's in here, oh, jackpot. 810 00:30:01,756 --> 00:30:04,324 Who was looking for Bermudas? 811 00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:07,370 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 812 00:30:07,501 --> 00:30:09,285 - RUTH: Genuine '80s. - Yeah. 813 00:30:12,158 --> 00:30:15,901 I also would like to suggest that the current two-year tenure 814 00:30:16,031 --> 00:30:18,773 for a chairman should be increased to three years. 815 00:30:18,904 --> 00:30:20,427 Why not five? 816 00:30:21,645 --> 00:30:23,560 [LAUGHS] Well, very good idea. 817 00:30:23,691 --> 00:30:24,735 Have a mint. 818 00:30:24,866 --> 00:30:26,215 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 819 00:30:26,346 --> 00:30:27,521 Hmm. 820 00:30:29,784 --> 00:30:31,394 Meegs. 821 00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:33,483 [RADIO STATIC] 822 00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:34,528 Meegs. 823 00:30:35,442 --> 00:30:37,270 Meegs, come in. 824 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,837 I've go other eggs. Run. 825 00:30:38,967 --> 00:30:42,536 [DINOSAUR ROARING] 826 00:30:42,666 --> 00:30:43,842 [FEET THUDDING] 827 00:30:45,234 --> 00:30:50,065 [DINOSAUR ROARING] 828 00:30:52,372 --> 00:30:53,808 MEG: You know, I'm just glad I got them back in one piece. 829 00:30:53,939 --> 00:30:56,550 If these hatch, I don't know you. 830 00:30:58,204 --> 00:31:01,076 VALERIE: [ON TV] Einstein's equations allow for things called wormholes. 831 00:31:01,207 --> 00:31:04,950 Uh, if you have a wormhole, you can enter in at the mouth, 832 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,388 travel through, and then exit out at, at the other end 833 00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:10,259 at an earlier point in time. 834 00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:11,957 Does that make sense, Ralph? 835 00:31:12,087 --> 00:31:14,481 - Do you want some macaroni? - MEGAN: Hmm? 836 00:31:14,611 --> 00:31:17,353 - Do you want some macaroni? - MEGAN: Mm. 837 00:31:17,484 --> 00:31:19,442 Goodbye, Ian, take care. 838 00:31:21,227 --> 00:31:21,792 Right. 839 00:31:23,751 --> 00:31:26,710 Well, that's strange for this time of year. 840 00:31:26,841 --> 00:31:30,714 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 841 00:31:30,845 --> 00:31:31,715 [UMBRELLA RUSTLING] 842 00:31:31,846 --> 00:31:35,415 [SCOOTER WHIRRING] 843 00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:37,939 Ruth, it's the pub quiz tonight if you fancy popping along. 844 00:31:38,070 --> 00:31:40,289 - MEGAN: Come on, Ruth, come on. - Um. 845 00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:42,248 Probably just gonna have an early one, to be honest. 846 00:31:42,378 --> 00:31:43,989 Oh, next Thursday? 847 00:31:44,119 --> 00:31:46,165 Next Thursday maybe? 848 00:31:46,295 --> 00:31:48,036 Every Thursday, Ruth. 849 00:31:49,124 --> 00:31:51,474 Ruth, every Thursday. 850 00:31:51,605 --> 00:31:54,042 [CHICKENS CLUCKING] 851 00:31:54,173 --> 00:31:55,261 - MEGAN: Hi. - RUTH: Hi. 852 00:31:56,523 --> 00:31:59,134 Can we, can we have a quick look around? 853 00:31:59,265 --> 00:32:00,396 - All right? - Look, look? 854 00:32:00,527 --> 00:32:01,789 Yeah, looks like a hog. 855 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,661 But it's a bit broken. Can we, can we have a look at it? 856 00:32:04,792 --> 00:32:06,054 Yeah, no, they don't really have many possessions, 857 00:32:06,185 --> 00:32:09,449 these people, um, which seems like a 858 00:32:09,579 --> 00:32:11,712 sort of silly move to come this far. 859 00:32:11,842 --> 00:32:14,628 But it's just, we just, you know, 860 00:32:14,758 --> 00:32:17,326 it's good to realize how far we've come. 861 00:32:17,457 --> 00:32:19,459 [COUGHING] 862 00:32:21,722 --> 00:32:23,376 RUTH: He just coughed in my mouth. 863 00:32:23,506 --> 00:32:25,987 - CAVEMAN: Ruth, Megan. - Other way around. 864 00:32:26,118 --> 00:32:27,554 Ruth, Megan. 865 00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:28,685 Ruth. 866 00:32:28,816 --> 00:32:30,557 Just say yes. It's not even worth it. 867 00:32:30,687 --> 00:32:32,254 Yeah, I think that's really sellable. 868 00:32:32,385 --> 00:32:33,908 Can we have this? 869 00:32:34,039 --> 00:32:35,344 - TRACY: I'm very excited? - Oh. 870 00:32:35,475 --> 00:32:37,694 TRACY: Just you wait. There'll be a boom. 871 00:32:37,825 --> 00:32:38,478 - TRACY: Amazing. - Thank you so much. 872 00:32:38,608 --> 00:32:40,262 - Bye, Tracy. - See you soon. 873 00:32:40,393 --> 00:32:43,396 [MILITARY DRUM MUSIC] 874 00:32:43,526 --> 00:32:45,311 [EXPLOSION BLASTING] 875 00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:52,840 [ADVENTUROUS MUSIC] 876 00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:58,715 [VOMIT SPLATTERING] 877 00:33:05,766 --> 00:33:06,593 [ADVENTUROUS MUSIC CONTINUES] 878 00:33:16,081 --> 00:33:18,518 What is the universe made of? 879 00:33:18,648 --> 00:33:20,607 We can't be sure, but we do know 880 00:33:20,737 --> 00:33:24,002 it's all held together in perfect equilibrium. 881 00:33:29,094 --> 00:33:32,184 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 882 00:33:35,709 --> 00:33:38,190 So we've, uh, had a bit of an incident. 883 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:39,495 RUTH: Yeah, there was this thing. 884 00:33:39,626 --> 00:33:40,322 Shh. 885 00:33:41,932 --> 00:33:43,978 I don't know what it is, but it's scary. 886 00:33:45,849 --> 00:33:48,156 She was pissing around with things she knows nothing about, 887 00:33:49,636 --> 00:33:51,072 and now she's a kid. 888 00:33:52,421 --> 00:33:54,075 Teenager, actually. 889 00:33:54,206 --> 00:33:56,034 Come on, what the? 890 00:33:56,164 --> 00:34:00,342 This thing just opened up, and something came out, 891 00:34:00,473 --> 00:34:01,430 and it, it grabbed me. 892 00:34:01,561 --> 00:34:03,171 [SCREAMING] 893 00:34:03,302 --> 00:34:03,954 Geez. 894 00:34:05,217 --> 00:34:06,044 MEGAN: Uh. 895 00:34:07,871 --> 00:34:10,352 RUTH: And the next thing you know, I'm young again. 896 00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:13,181 My hair is just so much silkier than before, 897 00:34:14,139 --> 00:34:15,575 my skin so smooth. 898 00:34:16,837 --> 00:34:18,404 My life is so much better now. 899 00:34:18,534 --> 00:34:21,363 I have no responsibilities. 900 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:22,712 Wow, slow down. 901 00:34:24,149 --> 00:34:26,194 Uh, can you just sit down? 902 00:34:28,153 --> 00:34:30,068 She just can't sit still. 903 00:34:33,158 --> 00:34:36,074 CUSTOMER: Excuse me. Excuse me. 904 00:34:36,204 --> 00:34:37,510 How much is this? 905 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:38,815 I don't care. 906 00:34:39,599 --> 00:34:42,080 [♪] 907 00:34:44,821 --> 00:34:46,214 This place is so boring. 908 00:34:46,997 --> 00:34:48,216 That's why I gotta change up the shop a bit. 909 00:34:48,347 --> 00:34:50,088 - So? - Yeah? 910 00:34:50,218 --> 00:34:52,307 - You like it? - Oh, that looks great. 911 00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:54,614 RUTH: You know, get rid of the old farts. 912 00:34:54,744 --> 00:34:56,659 Oh, I like this jacket. 913 00:34:56,790 --> 00:34:57,921 CUSTOMER: I'm in a band, so it kind of-- 914 00:34:58,052 --> 00:34:59,532 - RUTH: You're in a band? - Uh-Huh. 915 00:34:59,662 --> 00:35:01,142 Wow, I can sing, you know. 916 00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:02,622 How long have you been working here anyway? 917 00:35:02,752 --> 00:35:05,668 Um, about 20 years. 918 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:07,540 20? 919 00:35:07,670 --> 00:35:09,019 School, I'm smashing it, 920 00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:11,152 working a bit harder this time round, you know. 921 00:35:11,283 --> 00:35:13,285 Not everyone gets a second chance. 922 00:35:13,415 --> 00:35:14,764 Keeps having friends round. 923 00:35:14,895 --> 00:35:18,377 Like, uh, this isn't, like, a party hangout. 924 00:35:18,507 --> 00:35:19,943 Uh, it's ridiculous. 925 00:35:21,815 --> 00:35:23,904 Yeah, meet at the bench, dude, yeah, 926 00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:26,211 then swing over to the swings. 927 00:35:26,341 --> 00:35:28,126 So it's changed the dynamic completely. 928 00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:32,086 Um, it's not the Ruth I'm used to, you know. 929 00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:35,002 Uh, okay, I've gotta go to work now. 930 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,308 [RUTH GRUNTS] 931 00:35:36,438 --> 00:35:37,483 Just don't feel like her heart's in it anymore. 932 00:35:37,613 --> 00:35:39,702 Thinking about getting out of here anyway. 933 00:35:39,833 --> 00:35:41,226 That suits you. 934 00:35:41,356 --> 00:35:42,140 Do you really think? 935 00:35:42,270 --> 00:35:43,793 Yeah, it brings out the eyes. 936 00:35:43,924 --> 00:35:45,447 Yeah, my girlfriend's really gonna like me wearing this, 937 00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:46,622 I reckon. 938 00:35:46,753 --> 00:35:48,798 - RUTH: Who? - My girlfriend, yeah. 939 00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:51,018 CUSTOMER: Like, I dunno, dinner. 940 00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:52,585 Megan get this loser out of here. 941 00:35:55,370 --> 00:35:57,416 The music's really starting to get to me. 942 00:35:57,546 --> 00:35:59,940 Um, I mean, you just 943 00:36:01,463 --> 00:36:02,725 just reach this point 944 00:36:02,856 --> 00:36:05,075 where you just can't listen to that shit anymore. 945 00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:07,295 [MELLOW MUSIC] 946 00:36:07,426 --> 00:36:10,298 It's been a difficult transition for the both of us, really. 947 00:36:10,429 --> 00:36:14,824 I didn't ask for this to happen, but I love the new me. 948 00:36:14,955 --> 00:36:16,435 Or is it the old me? 949 00:36:17,740 --> 00:36:18,567 The young me. 950 00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:22,005 Megan does need to chill, though. 951 00:36:22,136 --> 00:36:26,619 She's getting a couple of grey hairs, more than a couple. 952 00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:28,577 She tried to get involved in my sleepover. 953 00:36:28,708 --> 00:36:30,492 I mean, but none of the other mums were there. 954 00:36:30,623 --> 00:36:32,146 Take the suit off. 955 00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:36,194 MEGAN: I can't remember being such a douchebag when I was a kid. 956 00:36:36,324 --> 00:36:37,673 Kids are different today. 957 00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:44,289 [ENERGY PULSATING] 958 00:36:44,419 --> 00:36:47,466 Ow, oh, ooh, ah, mm. 959 00:36:47,596 --> 00:36:49,859 [CREATURE GROWLING] 960 00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,252 RUTH: What are you doing? 961 00:36:51,383 --> 00:36:51,992 Nothing. 962 00:36:53,428 --> 00:36:55,387 Trying to get young like me, aren't you? [LAUGHS] 963 00:36:55,517 --> 00:36:58,390 You know what? Go clean up that mess you made. 964 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,087 And take that makeup off. You look ridiculous. 965 00:37:03,133 --> 00:37:05,832 [STAPLE GUN CLANKING] 966 00:37:05,962 --> 00:37:09,444 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 967 00:37:09,575 --> 00:37:10,402 What? 968 00:37:10,532 --> 00:37:11,620 RUTH: Did you pay the rent? 969 00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:13,274 Ciao, ciao. 970 00:37:13,405 --> 00:37:14,232 [IMITATES GUNSHOT BLASTING] 971 00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:16,712 - Ruth, that's your job. - No, I'm 16. 972 00:37:16,843 --> 00:37:18,584 It's definitely your job. 973 00:37:18,714 --> 00:37:19,846 We pay the rent first of the month. 974 00:37:19,976 --> 00:37:21,239 It's in the calendar. 975 00:37:21,369 --> 00:37:23,589 - Calendar? - Look, there. 976 00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,025 And these are all my dates. 977 00:37:25,155 --> 00:37:27,201 I've literally never seen this before. 978 00:37:27,332 --> 00:37:28,463 We need to sort this out. 979 00:37:28,594 --> 00:37:30,248 No, Meegs, I've got bigger problems than this. 980 00:37:30,378 --> 00:37:31,423 What? 981 00:37:31,553 --> 00:37:33,729 Hello, book exams mean anything to you? 982 00:37:33,860 --> 00:37:35,209 What are you on about? 983 00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:36,950 If I don't get good grades, what kind of future 984 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,038 am I gonna have? 985 00:37:38,168 --> 00:37:39,431 Uh, this is your future. 986 00:37:39,561 --> 00:37:41,520 This is your shop. 987 00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:44,392 Nah, Meegs, this is your future, your shop, your landlord, 988 00:37:44,523 --> 00:37:45,828 your bills. 989 00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:47,395 I haven't got to deal with all the crap, not anymore. 990 00:37:47,526 --> 00:37:49,484 If you don't like your life, you can't just start over. 991 00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:51,573 You said it yourself. The customers love you. 992 00:37:51,704 --> 00:37:54,097 Oh, my God, your need to be liked is so pathetic. 993 00:37:54,228 --> 00:37:55,360 You're just a jealous old hag 994 00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:56,709 who can't even use a credit card machine. 995 00:37:56,839 --> 00:37:58,406 You're a bratty teenager, and you're gonna get 996 00:37:58,537 --> 00:38:00,234 the same shit marks you got the first time around. 997 00:38:00,365 --> 00:38:02,454 You're useless. I'm better off without you. 998 00:38:02,584 --> 00:38:03,716 I'm going for a walk. 999 00:38:03,846 --> 00:38:05,021 No, I have to go meet my friends at the park. 1000 00:38:05,152 --> 00:38:07,981 So desperate, trying to be all street. 1001 00:38:08,111 --> 00:38:09,896 Pay the rent and watch the shop. 1002 00:38:10,026 --> 00:38:10,897 Not my problem. 1003 00:38:11,027 --> 00:38:12,202 Go upstairs, and do your paperwork. 1004 00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:13,421 You're not my mother. 1005 00:38:13,552 --> 00:38:15,815 [ELECTRIC SPARKS] 1006 00:38:15,945 --> 00:38:18,905 [EXPLOSION BLASTING] 1007 00:38:21,429 --> 00:38:24,040 [BURP ERUPTING] 1008 00:38:25,172 --> 00:38:27,914 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1009 00:38:29,045 --> 00:38:31,961 [DINOSAURS SCREECHING] 1010 00:38:34,573 --> 00:38:36,052 [RUTH GRUNTS] 1011 00:38:36,183 --> 00:38:39,404 [GLASS CRACKING] 1012 00:38:42,145 --> 00:38:42,929 Meegs. 1013 00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:47,020 [DOOR SQUEAKING] 1014 00:38:48,108 --> 00:38:50,632 Oh, yeah, cool, just leave then. 1015 00:38:53,635 --> 00:38:56,290 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1016 00:38:58,510 --> 00:38:59,293 Fuck, no. 1017 00:39:04,559 --> 00:39:05,386 Oh, my back. 1018 00:39:08,781 --> 00:39:11,653 [♪] 1019 00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:14,308 Yo, yo, yo, it's little Babe Ruth. 1020 00:39:14,439 --> 00:39:15,396 Yeah, it is Ruth. 1021 00:39:15,527 --> 00:39:16,179 [SPRING SQUEAKING] 1022 00:39:16,310 --> 00:39:17,311 Yeah, what are you doing? 1023 00:39:17,442 --> 00:39:18,399 I thought we were gonna meet at the park. 1024 00:39:18,530 --> 00:39:20,401 I've been waiting for, like, half an hour. 1025 00:39:20,532 --> 00:39:21,315 Oh, yeah? 1026 00:39:24,927 --> 00:39:26,625 Yeah, man, it's wicked. They're so fun. 1027 00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:29,367 Like, they're so, like, it's much nicer hanging out 1028 00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:31,760 with people, like, your own age because you just, like, 1029 00:39:31,891 --> 00:39:36,504 you, I don't know, like, just got a lot of energy and... 1030 00:39:36,635 --> 00:39:37,505 Who's party? 1031 00:39:39,638 --> 00:39:40,900 Oh, okay. 1032 00:39:41,030 --> 00:39:42,684 Yeah, no, I didn't get invited either. 1033 00:39:42,815 --> 00:39:44,294 Fuck that, yeah. 1034 00:39:44,425 --> 00:39:45,295 Oh, are you? 1035 00:39:46,514 --> 00:39:47,385 Oh, okay. 1036 00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:52,564 Do you think maybe, like, I can come with you or? 1037 00:39:52,694 --> 00:39:53,913 Why is it creepy? 1038 00:39:55,175 --> 00:39:56,655 I just didn't quite get it together today. 1039 00:39:56,785 --> 00:39:59,179 Like, I thought they went one place. 1040 00:39:59,309 --> 00:40:00,180 They thought I went somewhere else. 1041 00:40:00,310 --> 00:40:01,137 It's, like, it's fine. 1042 00:40:01,268 --> 00:40:01,921 It doesn't really matter anyway. 1043 00:40:02,051 --> 00:40:03,401 It's not like, 1044 00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:09,189 [METAL CLATTERING] 1045 00:40:13,149 --> 00:40:15,151 I don't even think Amber's a very nice person, to be honest. 1046 00:40:15,282 --> 00:40:17,545 I think she's actually quite a bitch. 1047 00:40:17,676 --> 00:40:18,677 Ella. 1048 00:40:18,807 --> 00:40:19,547 Ella. 1049 00:40:24,552 --> 00:40:25,771 [BOTTLE THUDDING] 1050 00:40:25,901 --> 00:40:27,773 Why they just didn't even let me know. 1051 00:40:27,903 --> 00:40:31,298 It's kind of, like, uh what's the point in having phone. 1052 00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:40,307 [♪] 1053 00:40:47,793 --> 00:40:50,622 RUTH: This is our store room where we keep everything. 1054 00:40:50,752 --> 00:40:54,147 Unfortunately, there's quite a complicated system in place, 1055 00:40:54,277 --> 00:40:55,540 which only Megan seems to know. 1056 00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:56,715 [STATIC HISSING] 1057 00:40:56,845 --> 00:40:57,629 Meegs? 1058 00:40:58,847 --> 00:41:00,936 Meegs, is that you? 1059 00:41:01,067 --> 00:41:02,808 Meegs, if you are there, Mr. Dixon came in today. 1060 00:41:02,938 --> 00:41:05,767 He was asking about that wooden bear. 1061 00:41:09,945 --> 00:41:10,685 Oh, wait, I found it. 1062 00:41:10,816 --> 00:41:15,168 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 1063 00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:19,085 There's a lot of stuff. 1064 00:41:19,215 --> 00:41:21,130 That's 1812, that is. 1065 00:41:21,261 --> 00:41:22,915 That's really valuable. 1066 00:41:23,045 --> 00:41:24,394 I should put that somewhere safe. 1067 00:41:26,571 --> 00:41:29,051 Uh, my favourite item, 1068 00:41:31,663 --> 00:41:33,142 I guess this. 1069 00:41:33,273 --> 00:41:35,667 I've got this. Can you see that? 1070 00:41:35,797 --> 00:41:36,885 Just reminds me of Megan. 1071 00:41:42,891 --> 00:41:45,894 - Sign here, here, and here. - I don't understand. 1072 00:41:46,025 --> 00:41:47,983 Finally getting rid. Where's Megan? She out in back there? 1073 00:41:48,114 --> 00:41:49,158 I don't know where she is. 1074 00:41:49,289 --> 00:41:51,813 In ya come, Dave. 1075 00:41:51,944 --> 00:41:55,904 Yeah, there you go. That's it, all signed, close enough. 1076 00:41:56,035 --> 00:41:57,819 Oh, I don't like the look of that. 1077 00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:00,256 [ENERGY PULSATING] 1078 00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:02,302 That's coming out your deposit. 1079 00:42:02,432 --> 00:42:05,784 [♪] 1080 00:42:08,090 --> 00:42:09,875 [PLATES CLINKING] 1081 00:42:10,005 --> 00:42:14,140 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1082 00:42:14,270 --> 00:42:17,056 [ENERGY PULSATING] 1083 00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:18,971 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1084 00:42:19,101 --> 00:42:21,147 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1085 00:42:26,761 --> 00:42:28,154 [SIGHS] 1086 00:42:28,284 --> 00:42:33,159 [ENERGY PULSATING] 1087 00:42:34,116 --> 00:42:36,292 Have I seen that? Seen it. 1088 00:42:37,511 --> 00:42:38,294 Unreason. 1089 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,559 [TAPE CLATTERING] 1090 00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:42,995 RALPH: Is it rolling? 1091 00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:44,736 ROBERT: It's rolling. 1092 00:42:44,866 --> 00:42:46,651 Uh, after initial trials, 1093 00:42:46,781 --> 00:42:48,478 Robert and I think the machine is ready 1094 00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:50,916 for its first human test. 1095 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:53,266 [RALPH GRUNTS] 1096 00:42:53,396 --> 00:42:54,180 Come on. 1097 00:42:57,531 --> 00:43:00,969 [ROBERT GRUNTING] 1098 00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:02,884 ROBERT: Right, ready? 1099 00:43:03,929 --> 00:43:04,799 Here we go. 1100 00:43:04,930 --> 00:43:05,800 ROBERT: Okay. 1101 00:43:05,931 --> 00:43:07,323 [STATIC HISSING] 1102 00:43:07,454 --> 00:43:08,847 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1103 00:43:08,977 --> 00:43:11,458 Hope this is recording. 1104 00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:12,807 I don't know what happened. 1105 00:43:12,938 --> 00:43:15,418 Uh, the power cut halfway through the jump. 1106 00:43:15,549 --> 00:43:17,899 ROBERT: Okay. 1107 00:43:18,030 --> 00:43:19,640 RALPH: Oh, air's breathable. 1108 00:43:21,294 --> 00:43:22,774 Ground seems stable. 1109 00:43:24,819 --> 00:43:28,301 ROBERT: Yeah, I, hang on what? What's that over there I heard? 1110 00:43:28,431 --> 00:43:30,695 [♪] 1111 00:43:30,825 --> 00:43:32,392 [STATIC HISSING] 1112 00:43:32,522 --> 00:43:35,656 ROBERT: Look, I'm, I'm, I'm sure I heard something. 1113 00:43:37,353 --> 00:43:38,920 Ah, what's that? 1114 00:43:39,051 --> 00:43:39,791 [RUTH SCREAMS] 1115 00:43:39,921 --> 00:43:40,792 ROBERT: Eight legs! 1116 00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:45,579 [RALPH SCREAMING] 1117 00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:46,711 ROBERT: It's got a beak. 1118 00:43:46,841 --> 00:43:47,929 [STATIC HISSING] 1119 00:43:48,060 --> 00:43:50,018 [ENERGY PULSATING] 1120 00:43:55,067 --> 00:43:58,418 [♪] 1121 00:43:58,548 --> 00:43:59,898 Meegs, I'm sorry. 1122 00:44:01,900 --> 00:44:03,553 [RUTH SCREAMING] 1123 00:44:03,684 --> 00:44:05,207 [ELECTRONIC WHIRRING AND THUDDING] 1124 00:44:06,731 --> 00:44:08,080 Where, where are you? 1125 00:44:08,210 --> 00:44:09,995 - Gonna do time in time jail. - Time jail. 1126 00:44:10,125 --> 00:44:10,648 Meegs 1127 00:44:12,301 --> 00:44:13,868 [RUTH SCREAMING] 1128 00:44:13,999 --> 00:44:15,696 [ENERGY PULSATING] 1129 00:44:15,827 --> 00:44:17,655 [STATIC HISSING] 1130 00:44:19,569 --> 00:44:22,485 [ENERGY PULSATING] 1131 00:44:22,616 --> 00:44:24,531 [CREATURE GROWLING] 1132 00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:30,972 MEGAN: [OVER RADIO] Ruth?! 1133 00:44:31,103 --> 00:44:32,060 Meegs. 1134 00:44:32,191 --> 00:44:35,368 [♪] 1135 00:44:35,498 --> 00:44:37,022 Megan. 1136 00:44:37,152 --> 00:44:39,111 MEGAN: [OVER RADIO] Ruth, help. 1137 00:44:39,241 --> 00:44:42,549 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 1138 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,594 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1139 00:44:44,725 --> 00:44:47,685 [ALARM BLARING] 1140 00:44:51,427 --> 00:44:54,256 QUIZ MASTER: What's the word for a type of particle accelerator, 1141 00:44:54,387 --> 00:44:58,260 also applies to a type of electromagnetic radiation made 1142 00:44:58,391 --> 00:45:02,656 by charged particles moving in magnetic fields? 1143 00:45:02,787 --> 00:45:04,179 And I'll give you a clue here, guys. 1144 00:45:04,310 --> 00:45:06,878 It is not a cyclotron. 1145 00:45:09,619 --> 00:45:13,536 Which apparatus with culinary applications would you use 1146 00:45:13,667 --> 00:45:16,322 to maintain the temperature of water 1147 00:45:16,452 --> 00:45:20,718 below 100 degrees Centigrade at sea level? 1148 00:45:20,848 --> 00:45:22,720 Come on. Get on with it. When is the bloody game? 1149 00:45:22,850 --> 00:45:24,199 Don't wanna watch the nerd show. 1150 00:45:27,594 --> 00:45:30,336 Used to maintain the temperature of water. 1151 00:45:30,466 --> 00:45:32,294 Guys, guys, something really bad's happen. 1152 00:45:32,425 --> 00:45:33,774 I need your help. 1153 00:45:34,819 --> 00:45:36,081 Megan's gone. 1154 00:45:36,211 --> 00:45:39,258 I don't know where she is. I can't find her. 1155 00:45:39,388 --> 00:45:40,999 - It's a Marie's flask. - Deuce. It's a deuce. 1156 00:45:41,129 --> 00:45:42,174 Please, listen to me. 1157 00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:43,697 She's gone. Something really bad's happened. 1158 00:45:43,828 --> 00:45:46,526 Just shush. Come on, dear. We're very, very busy. 1159 00:45:46,656 --> 00:45:47,832 Valerie, please listen to me please. 1160 00:45:47,962 --> 00:45:48,528 Could we please have the question again? 1161 00:45:48,658 --> 00:45:49,877 Megan's gone. 1162 00:45:50,008 --> 00:45:51,313 VALERIE: Sorry, darling, it's just the question 1163 00:45:51,444 --> 00:45:53,098 it's a kitcheny one. 1164 00:45:53,228 --> 00:45:56,188 QUIZMASTER: Which apparatus with cautery applications would you use 1165 00:45:56,318 --> 00:45:57,842 to maintain the temperature of water-- 1166 00:45:57,972 --> 00:45:59,539 It's a fucking bain-Marie. 1167 00:45:59,669 --> 00:46:01,193 [CHAIRS SQUEAKING] 1168 00:46:01,323 --> 00:46:02,411 [PLAYERS WHISPERING] 1169 00:46:02,542 --> 00:46:04,500 - Bain-Marie - Yes, bain-Marie. 1170 00:46:04,631 --> 00:46:06,372 She just said so. The whole bloody pub heard it. 1171 00:46:06,502 --> 00:46:07,373 - All right. - Right. 1172 00:46:07,503 --> 00:46:08,374 RUTH: Why is no one listening to me? 1173 00:46:08,504 --> 00:46:09,418 It's the time machine. 1174 00:46:09,549 --> 00:46:10,071 Something really bad has happened. 1175 00:46:10,202 --> 00:46:12,378 Stop talking at once. 1176 00:46:12,508 --> 00:46:13,161 Toilets. 1177 00:46:17,339 --> 00:46:18,732 - Oh, look here they come. Look. - Geeks. 1178 00:46:18,863 --> 00:46:21,735 - Go on. - Yeah, ya geeks. 1179 00:46:21,866 --> 00:46:24,607 [RICK AND FRIEND LAUGHING] 1180 00:46:24,738 --> 00:46:25,478 Ah. 1181 00:46:25,608 --> 00:46:29,525 [DEVICE WHIRRING AND BEEPING] 1182 00:46:29,656 --> 00:46:30,962 - We're clean. - Right, so, okay, 1183 00:46:31,092 --> 00:46:32,441 yeah, so I've called this extraordinary meeting-- 1184 00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:34,879 RUTH: Hey, the machine, I think there's something wrong with it. 1185 00:46:35,009 --> 00:46:36,358 It's, like, making all this weird shit happen. 1186 00:46:36,489 --> 00:46:38,883 Like, I was 16 but not when I was 16, like recently. 1187 00:46:39,013 --> 00:46:39,971 And I thought that's why Megan had gone 1188 00:46:40,101 --> 00:46:41,450 because I can't find her. 1189 00:46:41,581 --> 00:46:43,496 And there's also, like, this massive hole. 1190 00:46:43,626 --> 00:46:45,890 There's, like, this weird, white, glowing, floaty thing, 1191 00:46:46,020 --> 00:46:47,413 and there's, like, this shit coming out of it. 1192 00:46:47,543 --> 00:46:48,501 And I don't know. 1193 00:46:48,631 --> 00:46:49,894 I think maybe she's been sucked off. 1194 00:46:50,024 --> 00:46:51,634 I mean, I'm not a scientist or anything, but-- 1195 00:46:51,765 --> 00:46:53,201 MARTIN: All right, okay, okay, okay, so first of all, 1196 00:46:53,332 --> 00:46:55,682 is anything she just said remotely possible? 1197 00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:57,031 Have you used the machine at all? 1198 00:46:57,162 --> 00:46:58,554 RUTH: Okay, don't be annoyed. 1199 00:46:58,685 --> 00:47:00,643 We did actually use it a few times 1200 00:47:00,774 --> 00:47:02,558 because we had a massive electricity bill, and it was-- 1201 00:47:02,689 --> 00:47:04,734 - MARTIN: How much? - Like six grand. 1202 00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:06,780 No, no, how much did you use the machine? 1203 00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:08,651 Like, I wanna say it was, it was quite 1204 00:47:08,782 --> 00:47:10,349 a high number, actually. 1205 00:47:10,479 --> 00:47:12,090 Um, no, I'm really sorry. 1206 00:47:12,220 --> 00:47:14,005 It's just really difficult for us at the moment. 1207 00:47:14,135 --> 00:47:15,310 Megan's idea anyway, to be honest. 1208 00:47:15,441 --> 00:47:17,530 Which radioisotope? 1209 00:47:18,748 --> 00:47:19,837 I'll give you a clue here, guys. 1210 00:47:19,967 --> 00:47:23,884 It has the atomic number 43 and mass number 99. 1211 00:47:24,015 --> 00:47:27,409 Can we just establish what exactly happened to Megan? 1212 00:47:27,540 --> 00:47:29,107 RUTH: Well, I don't actually know, 1213 00:47:29,237 --> 00:47:30,891 but there's a hole in the shop, and I think there's 1214 00:47:31,022 --> 00:47:32,762 a good chance she went in the hole. 1215 00:47:32,893 --> 00:47:34,852 I mean, I'm not exactly sure if she went in the hole. 1216 00:47:34,982 --> 00:47:36,549 There's definitely a good chance she's in the hole. 1217 00:47:36,679 --> 00:47:38,246 - VALERIE: Into the hole? - The hole. 1218 00:47:38,377 --> 00:47:39,552 Like, big hole, little hole? 1219 00:47:39,682 --> 00:47:40,988 RUTH: It's a big hole. It's quite big. 1220 00:47:41,119 --> 00:47:42,076 Well, it's kind of medium. 1221 00:47:42,207 --> 00:47:43,861 Okay, medium, I'm gonna put medium for now. 1222 00:47:43,991 --> 00:47:45,688 Idiots, they've broken through. 1223 00:47:45,819 --> 00:47:47,560 Broken through, what do you mean? 1224 00:47:47,690 --> 00:47:49,562 - They've damned us. - No, Ralph, Ralph. 1225 00:47:49,692 --> 00:47:51,433 - They've damned us all to hell. - Ralph. 1226 00:47:51,564 --> 00:47:52,608 MARTIN: God, he's lost it again. 1227 00:47:52,739 --> 00:47:54,262 RUTH: Again? 1228 00:47:54,393 --> 00:47:55,611 You know, Ralph had a bit of a difficult time a few years ago. 1229 00:47:55,742 --> 00:47:56,786 MARTIN: Difficult? 1230 00:47:56,917 --> 00:47:57,831 He went completely nuts, completely batshit. 1231 00:47:57,962 --> 00:48:00,442 He was all over the shop like a mad woman's piss. 1232 00:48:00,573 --> 00:48:01,922 - That's offensive. - MARTIN: It's all right. 1233 00:48:02,053 --> 00:48:02,880 I know what to do. 1234 00:48:03,010 --> 00:48:04,620 So first of all, we have to expel 1235 00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:06,318 Ruth and Megan from the society. 1236 00:48:06,448 --> 00:48:07,362 Point of order. 1237 00:48:07,493 --> 00:48:08,450 Uh, since Ralph has left, 1238 00:48:08,581 --> 00:48:09,364 we don't actually have a quorum anymore. 1239 00:48:09,495 --> 00:48:10,626 So we cannot take a vote. 1240 00:48:10,757 --> 00:48:11,801 Oh, shut up. 1241 00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:16,981 Could I please have the return of your society pin? 1242 00:48:17,111 --> 00:48:18,808 Oh, my God, Martin, are you actually joking? 1243 00:48:18,939 --> 00:48:21,072 MARTIN: No, I'm not joking, thank you. 1244 00:48:21,202 --> 00:48:24,510 And could I please now have Megan's pin? 1245 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,729 Martin, Megan's not on the fucking planet anymore. 1246 00:48:26,860 --> 00:48:28,340 I don't know where she is. 1247 00:48:28,470 --> 00:48:30,298 I came to you guys for help, and Megan was right. 1248 00:48:30,429 --> 00:48:31,952 You're a bunch of freaks with some stupid club, 1249 00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:33,171 and you just sit around talking 1250 00:48:33,301 --> 00:48:34,955 about inventions that you didn't even make. 1251 00:48:35,086 --> 00:48:37,653 The universe is coming apart in my shop, 1252 00:48:37,784 --> 00:48:39,003 and I don't know where my best friend is. 1253 00:48:39,133 --> 00:48:40,308 And I, I just wanna get her back, 1254 00:48:40,439 --> 00:48:42,006 and I don't wanna go to fucking time jail, 1255 00:48:42,136 --> 00:48:43,137 because I don't know what's in there. 1256 00:48:43,268 --> 00:48:45,531 All right, all right, now first of all, 1257 00:48:45,661 --> 00:48:47,925 we need to find out what damage the time machine has done. 1258 00:48:48,055 --> 00:48:50,536 Okay, we will leave here as quietly as we can. 1259 00:48:50,666 --> 00:48:53,887 We will go to secret meeting point D. 1260 00:48:54,018 --> 00:48:56,498 And remember the society's motto. 1261 00:48:56,629 --> 00:48:57,369 VALERIE: Oh, well, you keep changing it, Martin. 1262 00:48:57,499 --> 00:48:58,239 No, oh, come on. 1263 00:48:58,370 --> 00:48:59,545 Fuck me. 1264 00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:00,894 Fuck right off. 1265 00:49:01,025 --> 00:49:02,504 Do not make me be that person. 1266 00:49:02,635 --> 00:49:03,375 Cock off. 1267 00:49:05,246 --> 00:49:07,205 Inventing in secret. 1268 00:49:07,335 --> 00:49:09,381 [TOILET FLUSHING] 1269 00:49:09,511 --> 00:49:12,123 [DOOR SQUEAKING] 1270 00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:17,128 [MURMURING] 1271 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,914 - Just squeeze through. - Yes. 1272 00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:23,308 [HAND DRYER WHIRRING] 1273 00:49:23,438 --> 00:49:24,309 [MARTIN COUGHS] 1274 00:49:24,439 --> 00:49:27,529 [HAND DRYER WHIRRING] 1275 00:49:29,183 --> 00:49:31,925 [DOOR CLATTERING] 1276 00:49:34,797 --> 00:49:35,798 You know, for 20 seconds there, 1277 00:49:35,929 --> 00:49:37,017 we actually did have a, a quorum, 1278 00:49:37,148 --> 00:49:38,932 so we could have taken a vote if we... 1279 00:49:39,063 --> 00:49:39,802 [VALERIE SIGHS] 1280 00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:42,544 Oh, my God, on and on. 1281 00:49:42,675 --> 00:49:44,111 Actually, never mind 'cause he's not, 1282 00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:45,808 he's not in the club. 1283 00:49:45,939 --> 00:49:48,115 [LEAVES RUSTLING] 1284 00:49:48,246 --> 00:49:50,204 [RALPH GASPING] 1285 00:49:56,819 --> 00:49:57,472 ANNOUNCER: Well, I'm terribly sorry. 1286 00:49:57,603 --> 00:49:58,952 We seem to be having a bit 1287 00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,736 of a technical difficulty at the moment. 1288 00:50:00,867 --> 00:50:02,216 We'll try and restore things as soon as we can. 1289 00:50:02,347 --> 00:50:03,522 And please do bear with us. 1290 00:50:03,652 --> 00:50:05,959 [DOORBELL RINGING] 1291 00:50:06,090 --> 00:50:08,266 RALPH: Robert, it's Ralph. 1292 00:50:10,442 --> 00:50:11,660 ROBERT: The only Ralph I know betrayed me 1293 00:50:11,791 --> 00:50:13,662 and ruined my life 1294 00:50:13,793 --> 00:50:16,013 RALPH: It's Ralph Sheldrake. 1295 00:50:17,797 --> 00:50:19,407 ROBERT: Fuck off. 1296 00:50:19,929 --> 00:50:21,975 RALPH: We need to talk, Robert. 1297 00:50:22,106 --> 00:50:23,933 It's about the accident. 1298 00:50:26,327 --> 00:50:27,024 [DOOR KNOCKING] 1299 00:50:27,154 --> 00:50:28,938 [LOCKS CLATTERING] 1300 00:50:29,591 --> 00:50:31,550 [CHAINS RATTLING] 1301 00:50:32,681 --> 00:50:34,770 [DOOR SQUEAKING] 1302 00:50:34,901 --> 00:50:35,510 RALPH: Rob. 1303 00:50:36,772 --> 00:50:38,731 What do you want? 1304 00:50:38,861 --> 00:50:39,993 What? 1305 00:50:40,124 --> 00:50:41,299 - What the fuck? - No, no, no, no, it's okay. 1306 00:50:41,429 --> 00:50:44,345 They're, they're, they're just, uh, filming me. 1307 00:50:44,476 --> 00:50:46,913 Oh, yeah, course they are 1308 00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,220 'cause the camera always loved you. 1309 00:50:49,350 --> 00:50:51,135 I need your help, mate. 1310 00:50:51,265 --> 00:50:52,005 Mate? 1311 00:50:53,311 --> 00:50:55,356 You've got some nerve after all this time. 1312 00:50:55,487 --> 00:50:57,010 It's about the machine we built. 1313 00:50:57,141 --> 00:50:58,316 It's back. 1314 00:50:58,446 --> 00:51:00,231 ROBERT: What are you talking about? 1315 00:51:00,361 --> 00:51:03,669 It's been here all the time. 1316 00:51:05,497 --> 00:51:08,152 Uh, the other machine. 1317 00:51:08,282 --> 00:51:12,330 But you destroyed that time machine over 20 years ago. 1318 00:51:12,460 --> 00:51:13,853 Yes, you're right. 1319 00:51:13,983 --> 00:51:15,376 I put it out with the bins. 1320 00:51:15,507 --> 00:51:19,163 Ralph, that is not a sufficient means of disposal. 1321 00:51:19,293 --> 00:51:20,164 You better come in. 1322 00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:22,905 [CART WHIRRING] 1323 00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:28,128 [TRAFFIC BEEPING] 1324 00:51:30,217 --> 00:51:33,220 Come on, come on, come on. 1325 00:51:33,351 --> 00:51:36,093 Come on, come on, come on. 1326 00:51:36,223 --> 00:51:38,095 Maybe it will be a good idea if Peter drove. 1327 00:51:38,225 --> 00:51:39,226 - MARTIN: No. - PETER: Yeah I know a short cut. 1328 00:51:39,357 --> 00:51:40,880 Yeah, well, Alex, the chair doesn't recognize you 1329 00:51:41,010 --> 00:51:42,099 at this time. 1330 00:51:42,229 --> 00:51:43,404 And I'm a qualified coach driver, all right? 1331 00:51:43,535 --> 00:51:46,233 Actually, I could drive if you like. 1332 00:51:46,364 --> 00:51:49,106 Okay, Peter, you drive, quick, right, go around. 1333 00:51:49,236 --> 00:51:51,195 You squidge over. There we are. 1334 00:51:51,325 --> 00:51:52,326 [SIGHS AND LAUGHS] 1335 00:51:52,457 --> 00:51:53,371 [DOOR CLATTERING] 1336 00:51:53,501 --> 00:51:54,676 [KNUCKLES CRACKING] 1337 00:51:54,807 --> 00:51:56,678 [HYDRAULIC WHIRRING] 1338 00:51:56,809 --> 00:51:58,289 [POP MUSIC BLASTING] 1339 00:51:58,419 --> 00:51:59,768 Hold tight, Ruth. 1340 00:51:59,899 --> 00:52:01,466 [HYDRAULIC WHIRRING] 1341 00:52:01,596 --> 00:52:03,381 ♪ Hold on 1342 00:52:03,511 --> 00:52:05,252 ♪ Won't be long 1343 00:52:05,383 --> 00:52:07,211 ♪ No no there... 1344 00:52:07,341 --> 00:52:10,170 ♪ The only way is up 1345 00:52:10,301 --> 00:52:12,390 ♪ Baby 1346 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,393 ♪ For you and me now 1347 00:52:15,523 --> 00:52:17,656 ♪ The only way is up 1348 00:52:17,786 --> 00:52:22,487 ♪ Baby, for you and me now 1349 00:52:22,617 --> 00:52:27,361 ♪ The only way is up, baby 1350 00:52:27,492 --> 00:52:30,495 ♪ For you and me now 1351 00:52:30,625 --> 00:52:34,934 ♪ The only way is up, baby 1352 00:52:35,064 --> 00:52:37,676 [GENTLE MUSIC] 1353 00:52:42,202 --> 00:52:43,551 Welcome to the bot cave. 1354 00:52:43,682 --> 00:52:45,727 [CART WHIRRING] 1355 00:52:45,858 --> 00:52:47,860 ROBERT: That's all the stuff I managed to salvage from the show. 1356 00:52:50,210 --> 00:52:52,299 It was the golden age of home learning. 1357 00:52:53,909 --> 00:52:55,215 We didn't know how good we'd had it, 1358 00:52:56,521 --> 00:52:58,436 presenting science to the masses. 1359 00:53:00,089 --> 00:53:02,135 But I don't know why they chose Ralph to be the presenter. 1360 00:53:02,266 --> 00:53:05,269 I was meant to be the bloody robot. 1361 00:53:05,399 --> 00:53:08,533 [LAUGHS] God, can't believe you kept all this. 1362 00:53:08,663 --> 00:53:12,537 And just like that, it was gone. 1363 00:53:12,667 --> 00:53:14,756 You didn't put up a fight, did ya? 1364 00:53:14,887 --> 00:53:16,628 Nah, you just walked away. 1365 00:53:16,758 --> 00:53:18,456 They woulda listened to you. 1366 00:53:18,586 --> 00:53:21,241 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 1367 00:53:21,372 --> 00:53:23,678 Come on, mate, we had a good run. 1368 00:53:23,809 --> 00:53:24,940 [ITEM THUDDING] 1369 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,248 Yeah, but at least I fought for it. 1370 00:53:28,379 --> 00:53:33,035 I wrote and submitted 15 seasons worth of new material, 1371 00:53:33,166 --> 00:53:34,385 not one response. 1372 00:53:36,387 --> 00:53:39,041 Crushing blow to my creativity. 1373 00:53:39,172 --> 00:53:40,782 I mean, look at us. 1374 00:53:42,697 --> 00:53:45,222 I was a different person. 1375 00:53:45,352 --> 00:53:46,266 You and I, we coulda been rich 1376 00:53:46,397 --> 00:53:48,921 off of what we achieved together... 1377 00:53:51,010 --> 00:53:53,795 but they just cancelled us and threw us on the shit heap. 1378 00:53:53,926 --> 00:53:55,406 [RALPH SIGHS] 1379 00:53:55,536 --> 00:54:00,062 Well, after what happened live on air, can you blame them? 1380 00:54:00,193 --> 00:54:01,673 Yeah, that's what that wall's about. 1381 00:54:01,803 --> 00:54:05,677 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 1382 00:54:06,852 --> 00:54:08,854 [SWITCH CLICKING] 1383 00:54:08,984 --> 00:54:10,638 Got everything you need? 1384 00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:13,989 [CREATURE GROWLING] 1385 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,296 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 1386 00:54:16,427 --> 00:54:21,170 There was a, an accident with a machine. 1387 00:54:23,825 --> 00:54:28,265 Robert and I were stranded in a lost dimension. 1388 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:33,270 We were gone for three years, or so we thought. 1389 00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:37,143 This is the octopus monster that used to stalk us. 1390 00:54:37,274 --> 00:54:38,057 Here. 1391 00:54:39,754 --> 00:54:41,452 This here is the captain. 1392 00:54:41,582 --> 00:54:43,541 He was there, too. 1393 00:54:43,671 --> 00:54:48,241 These are photographs we took for scientific evidence. 1394 00:54:48,372 --> 00:54:52,854 And then the, and then the press just had a field day. 1395 00:54:52,985 --> 00:54:55,117 We were shunned by everyone. 1396 00:54:55,248 --> 00:54:57,294 Well, that's it in a nutshell. 1397 00:54:57,424 --> 00:54:59,034 We went to hell and back. 1398 00:54:59,165 --> 00:55:00,775 Now, that's a quote. 1399 00:55:02,299 --> 00:55:06,128 Potty Botty is just a dangerous slur 1400 00:55:06,259 --> 00:55:10,655 on our scientific knowledge and our bowel-care capacities. 1401 00:55:12,787 --> 00:55:15,355 That's why my podcast is vital. 1402 00:55:15,486 --> 00:55:17,444 People need to know about this 1403 00:55:17,575 --> 00:55:20,665 hellish alternative place out there. 1404 00:55:22,623 --> 00:55:26,758 And, uh, when we finally escaped and returned home, 1405 00:55:28,455 --> 00:55:31,937 we found that, uh, no time had passed at all. 1406 00:55:33,373 --> 00:55:37,377 We weren't missed, and we had to go live on air. 1407 00:55:39,205 --> 00:55:43,296 RALPH: The creatures, fowl mosters of hell! 1408 00:55:43,427 --> 00:55:44,515 Spread the word. 1409 00:55:46,081 --> 00:55:48,301 None of this is real. 1410 00:55:48,432 --> 00:55:49,650 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 1411 00:55:49,781 --> 00:55:51,652 It's all lies. 1412 00:55:51,783 --> 00:55:53,132 [BOTTY CRACKING] 1413 00:55:53,262 --> 00:55:54,786 [RALPH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1414 00:55:54,916 --> 00:55:57,310 Hell is real. 1415 00:55:58,442 --> 00:55:59,791 We've been there. 1416 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:04,448 It wasn't one of our best shows. 1417 00:56:04,578 --> 00:56:08,277 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 1418 00:56:08,408 --> 00:56:10,497 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1419 00:56:15,023 --> 00:56:17,025 [VAN CLATTERING] 1420 00:56:17,156 --> 00:56:19,463 [DOOR SQUEAKING AND CLATTERING] 1421 00:56:19,593 --> 00:56:21,726 - Okay, come on this way. - I almost had the... 1422 00:56:21,856 --> 00:56:23,815 Come along, come along. 1423 00:56:26,339 --> 00:56:28,036 So, so, what we're doing is this. 1424 00:56:28,167 --> 00:56:30,038 What? Peter, fuck's sake. 1425 00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:33,041 Ralph kindly agreed for the society 1426 00:56:33,172 --> 00:56:35,435 to use this facility as a secret base of operations 1427 00:56:35,566 --> 00:56:36,871 for just such an emergency as this. 1428 00:56:37,002 --> 00:56:38,482 Yeah, we can't get into the school on Thursday nights. 1429 00:56:38,612 --> 00:56:39,787 It's Pilates on the ball. 1430 00:56:39,918 --> 00:56:41,049 - Yeah. - You're just sat on a ball. 1431 00:56:41,180 --> 00:56:42,137 Yeah. 1432 00:56:42,268 --> 00:56:43,269 First 10 minutes is pumping it up. 1433 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:44,313 Shut up. 1434 00:56:46,315 --> 00:56:49,971 Anyway, this is the place where Ralph originally developed 1435 00:56:50,102 --> 00:56:51,538 the time machine, apparently. 1436 00:56:51,669 --> 00:56:54,149 [WINDOW KNOCKING] 1437 00:56:57,501 --> 00:56:58,589 [DOOR CLATTERING & BELL RINGING] 1438 00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,940 How did you lot get keys to my bloody shop? 1439 00:57:02,070 --> 00:57:04,421 Botty? Oh, my God, it's Botty, oh. 1440 00:57:04,551 --> 00:57:06,205 He's barking mad. 1441 00:57:06,335 --> 00:57:06,988 ROBERT: You know who I am? 1442 00:57:07,119 --> 00:57:09,382 Yeah, I watched every episode. 1443 00:57:09,513 --> 00:57:10,992 You're the one who's been using our time machine. 1444 00:57:11,123 --> 00:57:12,298 Big fan of yours, both of yours. 1445 00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:13,908 It's a great show. 1446 00:57:14,039 --> 00:57:15,301 It's really good. 1447 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,085 You've actually travelled in time? 1448 00:57:17,216 --> 00:57:18,391 It was great for our business 'cause we've, 1449 00:57:18,522 --> 00:57:20,567 we've got a vintage shop in Muswell Hill, actually. 1450 00:57:20,698 --> 00:57:21,568 You should come check it out. 1451 00:57:21,699 --> 00:57:23,352 I've got a card. 1452 00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:25,311 You haven't got a shop. 1453 00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:28,140 You have a swirling gateway to hell. 1454 00:57:28,270 --> 00:57:29,054 Good luck. 1455 00:57:30,359 --> 00:57:32,361 [WATCH BEEPING AND CLICKING] 1456 00:57:32,492 --> 00:57:33,275 10:15? 1457 00:57:35,582 --> 00:57:37,541 Acute radiation sickness. 1458 00:57:37,671 --> 00:57:38,629 MARTIN: Oh, God. 1459 00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:40,674 The machine is damaging the universe 1460 00:57:40,805 --> 00:57:42,807 in ways that we could never have foreseen 1461 00:57:42,937 --> 00:57:45,636 like a shitty '80s car. 1462 00:57:45,766 --> 00:57:49,074 We think your friend's fallen out of this dimension, 1463 00:57:49,204 --> 00:57:52,120 the one that we're all currently inhabiting, 1464 00:57:52,251 --> 00:57:53,470 and she's landed somewhere else. 1465 00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,776 RUTH: Where's she landed? 1466 00:57:57,343 --> 00:57:59,780 Um, let me show you. 1467 00:57:59,911 --> 00:58:00,651 Excuse me. 1468 00:58:02,870 --> 00:58:05,046 What, she's in there? 1469 00:58:05,177 --> 00:58:10,138 [MACHINE WHIRRING] 1470 00:58:11,313 --> 00:58:12,663 MARTIN: Well, I didn't even know this place existed. 1471 00:58:12,793 --> 00:58:14,491 He didn't declare it to the society, did he? 1472 00:58:14,621 --> 00:58:15,622 Went to your birthday, didn't we Val? 1473 00:58:15,753 --> 00:58:17,145 [LAUGHS] Yeah, that was brilliant. 1474 00:58:17,276 --> 00:58:17,972 - I loved that cake. - Great fun. 1475 00:58:18,103 --> 00:58:19,626 - It was amazing. - Yeah. 1476 00:58:19,757 --> 00:58:20,975 RALPH: Let's see, shall we? 1477 00:58:21,106 --> 00:58:23,282 [DEVICE BEEPING AND WHIRRING] 1478 00:58:23,412 --> 00:58:24,239 GROUP: Oh. 1479 00:58:24,370 --> 00:58:27,460 [MACHINE WHIRRING AND BEEPING] 1480 00:58:27,591 --> 00:58:31,029 The time machine's trajectory passes through 1481 00:58:32,465 --> 00:58:34,423 to another point in time, 1482 00:58:36,425 --> 00:58:39,037 but it has to pass this dimension. 1483 00:58:40,255 --> 00:58:42,040 We call it the Unreason. 1484 00:58:43,911 --> 00:58:46,827 Unfortunately, uh, all our experiments, 1485 00:58:46,958 --> 00:58:48,699 we never made it all the way, didn't we, Robert? 1486 00:58:48,829 --> 00:58:49,656 - No, no. - No, no, we, 1487 00:58:49,787 --> 00:58:52,180 no, we, we, we broke down here. 1488 00:58:53,442 --> 00:58:55,575 Uh, now, we believe that Megan has fallen 1489 00:58:55,706 --> 00:58:58,883 into a, a temporal sinkhole, uh, 1490 00:58:59,013 --> 00:59:03,801 caused by you guys punching through history several times 1491 00:59:04,192 --> 00:59:06,543 in the same point in your shop. 1492 00:59:09,589 --> 00:59:11,765 She's probably ended up here 1493 00:59:13,985 --> 00:59:16,291 like me and Robert did. 1494 00:59:16,422 --> 00:59:17,641 The Unreason? 1495 00:59:17,771 --> 00:59:19,033 You know, when people and things, 1496 00:59:19,164 --> 00:59:21,253 they vanish in the Bermuda triangle, 1497 00:59:21,383 --> 00:59:23,429 down the back of the couch? 1498 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,040 Well, in fact, anything in history... 1499 00:59:27,259 --> 00:59:30,088 that disappears without a trace, 1500 00:59:30,218 --> 00:59:34,048 it, it all ends up here. 1501 00:59:34,179 --> 00:59:35,354 [SIGHS] It was a nightmare. 1502 00:59:35,484 --> 00:59:36,921 Oh, Megan. 1503 00:59:37,051 --> 00:59:40,315 Look, here, we've got drawings and pictures. 1504 00:59:42,274 --> 00:59:43,536 Yeah, look at that. 1505 00:59:43,667 --> 00:59:47,061 [PAPER RUSTLING] 1506 00:59:47,192 --> 00:59:50,456 And they breed a lot. 1507 00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:53,024 And they are not gentle lovers. 1508 00:59:55,287 --> 00:59:56,767 The horrors, yeah, 1509 00:59:58,682 --> 00:59:59,639 of that place, 1510 01:00:03,251 --> 01:00:05,602 imagine waking up to that. 1511 01:00:05,732 --> 01:00:08,343 Does that look natural to you? 1512 01:00:08,474 --> 01:00:10,041 If anybody touches any of these things, 1513 01:00:10,171 --> 01:00:12,043 wash your hands afterwards please. 1514 01:00:12,173 --> 01:00:17,048 We've, we've seen things, monsters, 1515 01:00:17,178 --> 01:00:19,267 weird animals, 1516 01:00:19,398 --> 01:00:22,227 a unicorn with dicks for legs. 1517 01:00:22,357 --> 01:00:24,011 It's true. 1518 01:00:24,142 --> 01:00:27,014 I saw them, too, well, not the dicks. 1519 01:00:27,145 --> 01:00:29,887 Okay, so say this place even exists. 1520 01:00:30,017 --> 01:00:32,629 Is mounting a rescue even possible? 1521 01:00:32,759 --> 01:00:34,413 Theoretically, we could get there 1522 01:00:34,543 --> 01:00:35,762 with some pretty profound modifications 1523 01:00:35,893 --> 01:00:37,155 to the fairground bumper car. 1524 01:00:37,285 --> 01:00:38,504 RUTH: And bring Megan back? 1525 01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,201 No, no, no, we shouldn't be using that machine anymore. 1526 01:00:40,332 --> 01:00:42,682 Well, we can't just leave Megan there forever. 1527 01:00:42,813 --> 01:00:44,162 [BELL RINGING] 1528 01:00:44,292 --> 01:00:46,904 Hey, Val, what about this microwave? 1529 01:00:47,034 --> 01:00:48,906 We could, we could use this shielding 1530 01:00:49,036 --> 01:00:51,778 to reinforce the singularity chamber. 1531 01:00:51,909 --> 01:00:53,911 Yeah, this should do the trick, 1532 01:00:54,041 --> 01:00:56,261 allowing safe and reliable time travel 1533 01:00:56,391 --> 01:00:58,959 without damaging space-time. 1534 01:00:59,090 --> 01:01:01,483 - PETER: And the microwave? - Oh, it'll be knackered. 1535 01:01:01,614 --> 01:01:02,702 Damn. 1536 01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:03,747 No, no, hang on a minute, hang on a minute. 1537 01:01:03,877 --> 01:01:07,315 We are a society. We should take a vote. 1538 01:01:07,446 --> 01:01:10,405 Well, I think it feels pretty unanimous, Martin. 1539 01:01:10,536 --> 01:01:11,885 Oh, does it? 1540 01:01:12,016 --> 01:01:13,408 Well, Ralph and Robert can postulate the correct course 1541 01:01:13,539 --> 01:01:14,888 of the hidden dimension of the universe. 1542 01:01:15,019 --> 01:01:16,716 Alex and I will fix the machine so it's less polluting 1543 01:01:16,847 --> 01:01:18,718 to space-time and less damaging to humans 1544 01:01:18,849 --> 01:01:19,763 and so that Ruth can travel up and down 1545 01:01:19,893 --> 01:01:21,068 or wherever it is, to the Unreason, 1546 01:01:21,199 --> 01:01:23,288 and rescue Megan and hopefully bring her back. 1547 01:01:23,418 --> 01:01:27,771 Um, so, uh, yes, uh, 1548 01:01:27,901 --> 01:01:30,382 and I, I could just, um, 1549 01:01:30,512 --> 01:01:31,949 there's lots of things here I could probably help with, 1550 01:01:32,079 --> 01:01:34,038 you know, cups, 1551 01:01:35,604 --> 01:01:37,694 It could be used for telephonic communication 1552 01:01:37,824 --> 01:01:41,001 with a bit of string, and then there's this thing. 1553 01:01:41,132 --> 01:01:42,655 [MARTIN IMITATES GUNSHOTS] 1554 01:01:42,786 --> 01:01:45,049 Bang, you're dead. 1555 01:01:45,179 --> 01:01:47,268 [TOOL THUDDING] 1556 01:01:47,399 --> 01:01:48,443 MARTIN: Or on the other hand, 1557 01:01:48,574 --> 01:01:51,533 I suppose I'm just completely fucking useless. 1558 01:01:53,361 --> 01:01:56,451 Actually, Martin, you know what? 1559 01:01:56,582 --> 01:02:00,586 You could do the most important job of all. 1560 01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:03,241 You could, um, do the, the risk assessment. 1561 01:02:03,371 --> 01:02:04,459 He could do the risk assessment. 1562 01:02:04,590 --> 01:02:05,765 - Yes, yes. - Yes. 1563 01:02:05,896 --> 01:02:07,071 What, I could do the risk assessment? 1564 01:02:07,201 --> 01:02:08,550 VALERIE: Yeah. 1565 01:02:08,681 --> 01:02:09,769 Yeah, well, I, I could, 1566 01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:12,293 Yes I could do the risk assessment. 1567 01:02:13,381 --> 01:02:14,252 Let's do it. 1568 01:02:15,122 --> 01:02:16,558 Let's get Ruth in that time machine. 1569 01:02:16,689 --> 01:02:18,386 Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm not going. I can't go. 1570 01:02:18,517 --> 01:02:19,605 I can't drive. Megan drives. 1571 01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,563 I thought Ralph was gonna go. 1572 01:02:21,694 --> 01:02:22,956 You, you've been there. You do it. 1573 01:02:23,087 --> 01:02:24,349 No, no, no, no. I'm not going. 1574 01:02:24,479 --> 01:02:26,090 I don't even drive a real car, so how am I gonna drive 1575 01:02:26,220 --> 01:02:27,308 a fucking time machine? 1576 01:02:27,439 --> 01:02:29,528 Please, but I get really bad headaches, migraines. 1577 01:02:29,658 --> 01:02:31,748 I'm like, I'm probably gonna be sick. 1578 01:02:31,878 --> 01:02:33,227 There's weird stuff there. 1579 01:02:33,358 --> 01:02:35,752 Botty said there's dicks in there, and I can't do it, Val. 1580 01:02:35,882 --> 01:02:37,449 I can't do it. I don't wanna go. 1581 01:02:37,579 --> 01:02:38,189 - I really don't wanna go. - It's okay, breathe. 1582 01:02:38,319 --> 01:02:39,320 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1583 01:02:39,451 --> 01:02:42,367 Calm down, Megan, Megan is relying on us. 1584 01:02:42,497 --> 01:02:44,151 She's counting on you. 1585 01:02:47,676 --> 01:02:49,548 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1586 01:02:49,678 --> 01:02:51,289 You can do it. 1587 01:02:51,419 --> 01:02:52,681 You can do it. 1588 01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:54,422 Okay. 1589 01:02:55,423 --> 01:02:56,294 You can do it. 1590 01:02:56,424 --> 01:02:57,948 I'll go with you, if you want Ruth. 1591 01:02:58,078 --> 01:03:00,994 - VALERIE: Oh, Peter, no, fuck. - Fair enough. 1592 01:03:01,125 --> 01:03:03,692 [EXHALING] 1593 01:03:04,519 --> 01:03:07,914 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 1594 01:03:08,045 --> 01:03:10,395 [♪] 1595 01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:17,054 1984 Reverchon Privilege, 1596 01:03:18,185 --> 01:03:19,404 she's a beauty. 1597 01:03:19,534 --> 01:03:24,409 You can travel through time, can't ya? 1598 01:03:25,627 --> 01:03:26,411 Cheeky. 1599 01:03:27,368 --> 01:03:31,677 [♪] 1600 01:03:33,853 --> 01:03:35,333 [INDISTINCT SPEAKING] 1601 01:03:35,463 --> 01:03:36,856 RUTH: What is this? 1602 01:03:36,987 --> 01:03:39,816 RALPH: And just follow those in the same, it's very easy. 1603 01:03:41,948 --> 01:03:43,341 No, this, that, that'll twist and... 1604 01:03:43,471 --> 01:03:45,038 [INDISTINCT SPEAKING] 1605 01:03:46,518 --> 01:03:48,259 [STICK CLANKING] 1606 01:03:48,389 --> 01:03:50,130 [DEVICE BEEPS] 1607 01:03:56,397 --> 01:03:59,052 When you find Megan, uh, remember, 1608 01:03:59,183 --> 01:04:01,359 we don't know how long she's been down there. 1609 01:04:01,489 --> 01:04:02,490 It could have been years. 1610 01:04:03,665 --> 01:04:05,493 ROBERT: She coulda lost her mind. 1611 01:04:05,624 --> 01:04:08,540 Not everybody has the same mental fortitude as we did. 1612 01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:11,238 We had an argument before she went. 1613 01:04:11,369 --> 01:04:13,675 So she, she could have been stewing for years. 1614 01:04:13,806 --> 01:04:16,461 RALPH: Don't worry about that. I'm sure she's forgotten. 1615 01:04:16,591 --> 01:04:19,246 Time heals all wounds. 1616 01:04:19,377 --> 01:04:20,291 Fuck that. 1617 01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:22,815 I've been stewing for years. 1618 01:04:24,730 --> 01:04:26,036 Was, was, was that about me? 1619 01:04:28,429 --> 01:04:32,085 Sorry, Rob, I, I just thought you'd lost it. 1620 01:04:32,216 --> 01:04:35,436 I mean, this time machine broke up our friendship. 1621 01:04:35,567 --> 01:04:37,743 It's got nothing to do with the machine. 1622 01:04:39,484 --> 01:04:41,616 This was all about you. 1623 01:04:41,747 --> 01:04:42,530 You didn't think you needed me. 1624 01:04:42,661 --> 01:04:44,532 That was utter bullshit. 1625 01:04:46,273 --> 01:04:47,492 You'd have been nothing without me. 1626 01:04:48,580 --> 01:04:49,450 [EXHALES] 1627 01:04:51,365 --> 01:04:52,540 Of course. 1628 01:04:54,151 --> 01:04:55,152 Robert 1629 01:04:55,282 --> 01:04:57,284 I can't dispute that. 1630 01:05:03,812 --> 01:05:05,162 I always knew that. 1631 01:05:05,292 --> 01:05:07,686 [♪] 1632 01:05:10,645 --> 01:05:11,995 Megan needs me. 1633 01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:16,651 Ah, well, best crack on. 1634 01:05:18,001 --> 01:05:20,307 These are all your chargers. 1635 01:05:20,438 --> 01:05:22,353 - This is your, your thrust. - Like that? 1636 01:05:22,483 --> 01:05:23,441 Yeah. 1637 01:05:23,571 --> 01:05:25,095 Here until the sequence over here-- 1638 01:05:25,225 --> 01:05:26,792 - Okay. - On the left. 1639 01:05:27,967 --> 01:05:29,316 - Okay. - RUTH: Wow. 1640 01:05:29,447 --> 01:05:31,579 Here, careful. 1641 01:05:32,493 --> 01:05:33,668 Okay, sure. 1642 01:05:33,799 --> 01:05:35,235 [GUN CLANKING] 1643 01:05:35,366 --> 01:05:37,498 More careful than that. 1644 01:05:37,629 --> 01:05:38,325 Okay. 1645 01:05:39,979 --> 01:05:41,546 And I've installed an electromagnetic shield 1646 01:05:41,676 --> 01:05:42,677 in the machine, which should solve 1647 01:05:42,808 --> 01:05:44,549 the radiation sickness and nosebleeds. 1648 01:05:44,679 --> 01:05:46,290 Oh, thank God, and the headaches, 1649 01:05:46,420 --> 01:05:47,682 and the hair loss, 1650 01:05:47,813 --> 01:05:50,337 and the bloating, and the insomnia, 1651 01:05:50,468 --> 01:05:53,427 and the dizziness, and the tiredness, and that, 1652 01:05:53,558 --> 01:05:56,169 those awful sweats, and the hair on my face, 1653 01:05:56,300 --> 01:05:58,171 and the lethargy, 1654 01:05:58,302 --> 01:05:59,956 and the dryness? 1655 01:06:01,653 --> 01:06:03,829 I think that might be the menopause. 1656 01:06:05,613 --> 01:06:06,658 Oh, okay. 1657 01:06:06,788 --> 01:06:07,528 Never mind. 1658 01:06:09,095 --> 01:06:12,011 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1659 01:06:12,142 --> 01:06:20,977 [♪] 1660 01:06:22,587 --> 01:06:25,155 [DOOR CLATTERING] 1661 01:06:29,811 --> 01:06:32,553 [THUNDER CLAPPING] 1662 01:06:32,684 --> 01:06:34,512 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1663 01:06:40,344 --> 01:06:44,435 Risk assessment, Ruth, and a gold badge for you. 1664 01:06:44,565 --> 01:06:46,002 Thank you, Martin. 1665 01:06:47,220 --> 01:06:48,961 MARTIN: Good luck, Ruth. 1666 01:06:50,789 --> 01:06:51,703 I'll never forget you. 1667 01:06:51,833 --> 01:06:53,531 Goodbye Valerie. 1668 01:06:53,661 --> 01:06:55,141 - Good luck, Ruth. - Goodbye, Peter. 1669 01:06:55,272 --> 01:06:55,968 Goodbye. 1670 01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:03,802 [SWITCHES CLICKING] 1671 01:07:03,932 --> 01:07:06,065 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 1672 01:07:06,196 --> 01:07:08,937 [THUNDER CLAPPING] 1673 01:07:09,068 --> 01:07:11,505 What is happening to the world, Val? 1674 01:07:11,636 --> 01:07:14,987 VALERIE: The universe knows we're about to break the rules. 1675 01:07:15,118 --> 01:07:17,381 Nothing escapes the Unreason. 1676 01:07:19,078 --> 01:07:20,340 Are they gonna make it? 1677 01:07:20,471 --> 01:07:23,256 History, the future, time, 1678 01:07:23,387 --> 01:07:25,867 they're all level-two chaotic systems, 1679 01:07:25,998 --> 01:07:28,827 systems that react to predictions about themselves, 1680 01:07:28,957 --> 01:07:30,655 so I'd rather not say. 1681 01:07:32,396 --> 01:07:36,443 Valerie, you deserve to be running the society, not me. 1682 01:07:37,618 --> 01:07:39,490 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 1683 01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:40,317 Oh, God, come on Ruth! 1684 01:07:41,100 --> 01:07:44,364 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 1685 01:07:44,495 --> 01:07:47,759 [AIR WHOOSHING] 1686 01:07:47,889 --> 01:07:49,891 [HOPEFUL MUSIC] 1687 01:07:52,198 --> 01:07:55,288 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1688 01:07:59,553 --> 01:08:02,382 [EXPLOSION BLASTING] 1689 01:08:03,775 --> 01:08:04,645 [JETS HISSING] 1690 01:08:04,776 --> 01:08:05,298 [BURP ERUPTING] 1691 01:08:05,429 --> 01:08:06,169 Oh. 1692 01:08:15,352 --> 01:08:18,268 [TIME MACHINE BEEPING] 1693 01:08:24,056 --> 01:08:25,840 [ROCKETS WHOOSHING] 1694 01:08:25,971 --> 01:08:28,582 [TIME MACHINE THUDDING] 1695 01:08:30,454 --> 01:08:33,805 [♪] 1696 01:08:40,855 --> 01:08:43,031 [TIME MACHINE BEEPING] 1697 01:08:46,165 --> 01:08:47,253 [SWITCH CLICKING] 1698 01:08:47,384 --> 01:08:50,038 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 1699 01:08:50,169 --> 01:08:52,693 [BUTTON CLICKING] 1700 01:08:52,824 --> 01:08:55,653 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1701 01:08:58,656 --> 01:08:59,439 Meegs. 1702 01:08:59,570 --> 01:09:01,876 [WIND HOWLING] 1703 01:09:02,007 --> 01:09:02,790 Meegs. 1704 01:09:08,796 --> 01:09:11,408 [♪] 1705 01:09:13,671 --> 01:09:15,151 Okay, okay. 1706 01:09:15,934 --> 01:09:18,937 [FOOTSTEPS PLODDING] 1707 01:09:27,380 --> 01:09:29,469 ROBERT: Anything in history that disappears, 1708 01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:32,168 it all ends up here. 1709 01:09:32,298 --> 01:09:35,171 [CREATURE GROWLING] 1710 01:09:38,086 --> 01:09:40,393 RUTH: Listen, mate I've got a gun, yeah. 1711 01:09:41,873 --> 01:09:43,483 [CREATURE GROWLING] 1712 01:09:43,614 --> 01:09:44,484 [CREATURE CLICKING] 1713 01:09:44,615 --> 01:09:45,442 Megan? 1714 01:09:45,572 --> 01:09:47,139 [CREATURE GROWLING] 1715 01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:49,010 Megan, Meegs. 1716 01:09:50,098 --> 01:09:51,622 [CREATURE CLICKING] 1717 01:09:51,752 --> 01:09:54,407 [LASER BLASTING] 1718 01:09:55,713 --> 01:09:58,411 [THUNDER CLAPPING] 1719 01:10:00,631 --> 01:10:03,982 Yeah, I'm getting huge spikes. Look at this, here. 1720 01:10:04,112 --> 01:10:06,158 I mean, it's off the charts. 1721 01:10:06,289 --> 01:10:07,855 VALERIE: Ralph, not too far. 1722 01:10:07,986 --> 01:10:10,467 [ELECTRICITY SPARKING] 1723 01:10:10,597 --> 01:10:13,034 So Rick, the landlord, has arranged access for us 1724 01:10:13,165 --> 01:10:15,167 so that we can seal the fracture 1725 01:10:15,298 --> 01:10:17,996 or interdimensional fissure, as we're calling it. 1726 01:10:18,126 --> 01:10:20,520 But before we do that, 1727 01:10:20,651 --> 01:10:23,567 we thought we would use a robotic drone to study it. 1728 01:10:23,697 --> 01:10:25,525 [MACHINE BEEPING] 1729 01:10:25,656 --> 01:10:28,267 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1730 01:10:28,398 --> 01:10:30,878 [RICK WHIMPERING] 1731 01:10:31,009 --> 01:10:32,837 [CONTAINER CLANKING] 1732 01:10:32,967 --> 01:10:33,968 [RICK MURMURING] 1733 01:10:34,099 --> 01:10:37,233 Uh, go left a bit please, Peter, no left. 1734 01:10:37,363 --> 01:10:38,669 - Right. - Right, well, left that way. 1735 01:10:38,799 --> 01:10:39,539 PETER: Yes. 1736 01:10:39,670 --> 01:10:40,323 [ITEMS CLANKING] 1737 01:10:40,453 --> 01:10:43,761 [INDISTINCT MOANING] 1738 01:10:43,891 --> 01:10:46,024 Can you be a bit more careful, Peter? 1739 01:10:46,154 --> 01:10:48,156 Sorry, it's fighting me. 1740 01:10:49,114 --> 01:10:51,856 [RICK SCREAMING] 1741 01:10:51,986 --> 01:10:54,119 [ITEMS CLANKING] 1742 01:10:59,733 --> 01:11:01,866 - Steady. - Steady, easy. 1743 01:11:03,128 --> 01:11:06,218 [RICK SCREAMING] 1744 01:11:06,349 --> 01:11:07,698 To the right, to the right. 1745 01:11:07,828 --> 01:11:09,569 [RICK WHIMPERING] 1746 01:11:09,700 --> 01:11:10,831 That's it, that's it. 1747 01:11:10,962 --> 01:11:13,269 [RICK SCREAMING] 1748 01:11:13,399 --> 01:11:14,879 Zoom in, zoom in. 1749 01:11:15,009 --> 01:11:16,750 - Uh, no, zoom, go push-- - I'm zooming. 1750 01:11:16,881 --> 01:11:18,012 Don't touch it. 1751 01:11:18,143 --> 01:11:18,883 - I'll touch it if I want to. - Don't touch it. 1752 01:11:19,013 --> 01:11:19,840 - Push it. - No. 1753 01:11:19,971 --> 01:11:21,015 Otherwise you'll never zoom in. 1754 01:11:21,146 --> 01:11:24,541 [RICK WHIMPERING] 1755 01:11:24,671 --> 01:11:26,020 PETER: Ah, ah. 1756 01:11:26,151 --> 01:11:27,108 - MARTIN: Go left. - Guys. 1757 01:11:27,239 --> 01:11:29,589 [RICK WHIMPERING] 1758 01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:31,983 MARTIN: Forward, zoom, zoom. 1759 01:11:32,113 --> 01:11:36,596 [RICK WHIMPERING] 1760 01:11:36,727 --> 01:11:39,686 That's it. Now, what is that? 1761 01:11:39,817 --> 01:11:43,995 Ah, that's the event horizon, the point of no return. 1762 01:11:45,257 --> 01:11:46,476 It's beautiful. 1763 01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:49,827 [RICK WHIMPERING] 1764 01:11:49,957 --> 01:11:51,568 Really, really gently, Peter, 1765 01:11:51,698 --> 01:11:54,266 'cause that gravitational force looks super strong. 1766 01:11:54,397 --> 01:11:55,441 Yeah, I've got it. 1767 01:11:55,572 --> 01:11:57,138 - Don't worry. - Wow. 1768 01:11:57,269 --> 01:11:59,619 [RICK WHIMPERING] 1769 01:12:02,013 --> 01:12:03,841 [COMPUTER BEEPING] 1770 01:12:03,971 --> 01:12:06,713 - Shit, lost it, sorry. - Oh. 1771 01:12:06,844 --> 01:12:07,888 Yeah, it's all right. Don't worry. 1772 01:12:08,019 --> 01:12:09,194 - You did really quite well. - Not your fault. 1773 01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:10,978 No, right, it's not my fault. Good job, Peter, good job, 1774 01:12:11,109 --> 01:12:12,806 'cause we're going to learn such a lot from this footage. 1775 01:12:12,937 --> 01:12:15,026 I mean, it's just, it's amazing. 1776 01:12:15,156 --> 01:12:16,506 All these images, you see, 1777 01:12:16,636 --> 01:12:17,898 they will be very useful 1778 01:12:18,029 --> 01:12:19,683 because it's the first-ever recording 1779 01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:22,163 of spatial distortion ever. 1780 01:12:22,294 --> 01:12:23,643 I can't wait to review it all. 1781 01:12:23,774 --> 01:12:25,602 Peter did so well. 1782 01:12:25,732 --> 01:12:26,342 He did. 1783 01:12:28,126 --> 01:12:29,606 That was my fault. 1784 01:12:32,652 --> 01:12:34,785 [FOOTSTEPS PLODDING] 1785 01:12:34,915 --> 01:12:37,483 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1786 01:12:41,922 --> 01:12:42,619 RUTH: Megan? 1787 01:12:44,621 --> 01:12:47,145 [BELL RINGING] 1788 01:12:55,762 --> 01:12:58,374 [BROODING MUSIC] 1789 01:13:05,032 --> 01:13:07,774 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1790 01:13:17,262 --> 01:13:21,745 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1791 01:13:26,227 --> 01:13:27,228 [EXHALING] 1792 01:13:27,359 --> 01:13:29,970 Ah, you breathed, you breathed. 1793 01:13:30,101 --> 01:13:33,147 That's 536 and a half points to me. 1794 01:13:33,278 --> 01:13:37,978 You go down to level, um, 4,336. [LAUGHS] 1795 01:13:38,109 --> 01:13:38,936 Sucks to be you. 1796 01:13:39,066 --> 01:13:41,373 That round always beats me. 1797 01:13:41,504 --> 01:13:42,330 I mean, it's fun. 1798 01:13:42,461 --> 01:13:43,419 Fun. 1799 01:13:43,549 --> 01:13:44,811 What a game, what a game, what a game. 1800 01:13:44,942 --> 01:13:47,597 Isn't this fun? [LAUGHS] 1801 01:13:50,338 --> 01:13:51,165 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1802 01:13:51,296 --> 01:13:52,384 What are you doing, love? 1803 01:13:52,515 --> 01:13:53,733 I have this, so I collect these, right? 1804 01:13:53,864 --> 01:13:55,735 No, no, no, no, no, fuck's sake. 1805 01:13:55,866 --> 01:13:57,302 Listen, everyone, this is important. 1806 01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:59,957 You cannot show this card on this round. 1807 01:14:00,087 --> 01:14:00,914 [GRUNTS] 1808 01:14:01,045 --> 01:14:01,828 Hold on, hold on. 1809 01:14:01,959 --> 01:14:04,483 Let's look at the rules, shall we? 1810 01:14:04,614 --> 01:14:07,486 Ah, here we are, in the event of a level-five stalemate-- 1811 01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:08,705 What? 1812 01:14:08,835 --> 01:14:11,011 where the rap battle round does not apply-- 1813 01:14:11,142 --> 01:14:12,448 And I have-- 1814 01:14:12,578 --> 01:14:13,710 DANDY: And the player is wearing the appropriate 1815 01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,800 multiplier medallion, in that instance, 1816 01:14:16,930 --> 01:14:19,237 the game is no longer live, stroke, in play. 1817 01:14:19,367 --> 01:14:20,499 It is paused. 1818 01:14:20,630 --> 01:14:24,372 So Laika decides the outcome using... 1819 01:14:26,244 --> 01:14:28,681 here we are, method four. 1820 01:14:29,813 --> 01:14:32,206 Okay, okay, these are the rules. 1821 01:14:32,337 --> 01:14:34,513 Two barks, I win. Write it down. 1822 01:14:34,644 --> 01:14:35,993 Two barks, I win. 1823 01:14:38,125 --> 01:14:39,736 Laika, if you please. 1824 01:14:42,129 --> 01:14:43,217 [LAIKA BARKS] 1825 01:14:43,348 --> 01:14:45,002 - Yes. - No, hold, hold, hold. 1826 01:14:45,132 --> 01:14:47,047 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1827 01:14:47,178 --> 01:14:50,007 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1828 01:14:52,923 --> 01:14:53,706 [LAIKA BARKS] 1829 01:14:53,837 --> 01:14:56,100 Ah, two barks, woof, woof, I win. 1830 01:14:56,230 --> 01:14:58,755 Oh, well, better luck next time, Trace. 1831 01:14:58,885 --> 01:15:01,235 AVIATOR: In some ways, the game is too simple, 1832 01:15:01,366 --> 01:15:03,194 but that's what makes it so perfect. 1833 01:15:03,324 --> 01:15:04,238 [LAUGHS] 1834 01:15:04,369 --> 01:15:06,284 Thanks, loser. 1835 01:15:06,414 --> 01:15:08,112 Place your bets for the next round. 1836 01:15:08,242 --> 01:15:10,506 I love the next round. 1837 01:15:10,636 --> 01:15:13,726 [CHAINS CLANGING] 1838 01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:17,817 [BODY THUDDING] 1839 01:15:17,948 --> 01:15:19,253 Fuck. 1840 01:15:19,384 --> 01:15:23,693 [CHAINS CLANGING] 1841 01:15:23,823 --> 01:15:26,522 [ITEMS CLATTERING] 1842 01:15:28,436 --> 01:15:29,263 A new player. 1843 01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:32,963 If you've come to join the game, my dear, 1844 01:15:33,093 --> 01:15:35,356 you need to buy in. 1845 01:15:35,487 --> 01:15:36,619 You may have heard of the game. 1846 01:15:36,749 --> 01:15:38,272 It was my idea. 1847 01:15:38,403 --> 01:15:41,580 It's become famous across the Expanse. 1848 01:15:41,711 --> 01:15:45,628 Many have come in search of it, all of them wishing to play. 1849 01:15:45,758 --> 01:15:46,890 Uh, no, actually. 1850 01:15:47,020 --> 01:15:50,241 This is the only thing to do in the Expanse. 1851 01:15:50,371 --> 01:15:51,459 Sorry, I thought this was the Unreason. 1852 01:15:51,590 --> 01:15:53,113 Is this not the Unreason? 1853 01:15:53,244 --> 01:15:55,463 AVIATOR: Ignore her. Let's play. 1854 01:15:55,594 --> 01:15:58,031 Oh, come on. You must play. 1855 01:15:58,162 --> 01:15:59,119 You'll love it. 1856 01:15:59,250 --> 01:16:01,469 The rules are quite simple. 1857 01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:04,168 NARRATOR: Basically, the game came about as a way to pass the time. 1858 01:16:04,298 --> 01:16:08,259 It currently has 94,332 rounds with unique multiplayer 1859 01:16:08,389 --> 01:16:11,262 and single-player subsections, skill-Based specialism, 1860 01:16:11,392 --> 01:16:13,394 chance modifiers and forfeits. 1861 01:16:13,525 --> 01:16:16,267 The aim is to exchange game progress for game tokens, 1862 01:16:16,397 --> 01:16:18,138 swap game tokens for game cards, 1863 01:16:18,269 --> 01:16:20,358 trade game cards for game progress. 1864 01:16:20,488 --> 01:16:22,273 All wagers are final, the rules are the rules, 1865 01:16:22,403 --> 01:16:25,232 and what a game, what a game. 1866 01:16:25,363 --> 01:16:26,930 You'll pick it up in no time. 1867 01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:29,628 Just be careful not to get into hock. 1868 01:16:29,759 --> 01:16:33,893 Otherwise, you might end up in the slammer like Megan. 1869 01:16:35,678 --> 01:16:37,201 AVIATOR: Are we playing or chatting? 1870 01:16:37,331 --> 01:16:38,419 RUTH: Megan! 1871 01:16:38,550 --> 01:16:41,118 Megan, you're alive. You're okay. 1872 01:16:41,248 --> 01:16:43,773 I could trade you 15 tokens for a black triangle card. 1873 01:16:43,903 --> 01:16:45,122 What? 1874 01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:46,297 MEGAN: A black triangle. 1875 01:16:46,427 --> 01:16:49,605 - Are you okay, Meegs? - She lost everything. 1876 01:16:49,735 --> 01:16:52,390 She's been down over 100 points for 10 years. 1877 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:53,609 I came as quickly as I could. 1878 01:16:53,739 --> 01:16:57,656 I can't see things getting better for her, sadly. 1879 01:16:58,962 --> 01:17:00,224 MEGAN: Oh, nice. 1880 01:17:00,354 --> 01:17:01,355 You like it? 1881 01:17:01,486 --> 01:17:02,139 - You remember? - MEGAN: Mm. 1882 01:17:02,269 --> 01:17:03,706 It's vintage. 1883 01:17:03,836 --> 01:17:06,143 Trade you 15 tokens for it. 1884 01:17:06,273 --> 01:17:08,885 You don't normally buy stuff, Meegs. 1885 01:17:09,015 --> 01:17:09,842 Ruth? 1886 01:17:09,973 --> 01:17:11,148 Yes, that's right. It's me. 1887 01:17:11,278 --> 01:17:12,149 Remember me. 1888 01:17:13,193 --> 01:17:14,151 - Ruth? - Yeah? 1889 01:17:15,413 --> 01:17:16,544 - Listen. - Yes. 1890 01:17:18,895 --> 01:17:20,157 Do you have a black triangle card? 1891 01:17:20,287 --> 01:17:21,767 I need to get back in the game. 1892 01:17:21,898 --> 01:17:25,379 I, I had one, but this octopus guy called Gavin, 1893 01:17:25,510 --> 01:17:26,816 he took, took it off me and-- 1894 01:17:26,946 --> 01:17:27,904 I'm getting you out of here. This place is hell. 1895 01:17:28,034 --> 01:17:29,732 But it, but it's, it's a really good game. 1896 01:17:29,862 --> 01:17:30,907 RUTH: No, we're going. 1897 01:17:31,037 --> 01:17:33,823 Oh, no you don't. She's in timeout. 1898 01:17:33,953 --> 01:17:35,085 The rules say so. 1899 01:17:38,566 --> 01:17:40,699 [GUN CLANKING] 1900 01:17:42,353 --> 01:17:44,268 AVIATOR: Oh, a gun. 1901 01:17:45,530 --> 01:17:47,358 She's got a gun. 1902 01:17:47,488 --> 01:17:49,577 She's got a gun, everyone. 1903 01:17:49,708 --> 01:17:51,579 Shoot me. Shoot me first. 1904 01:17:51,710 --> 01:17:52,580 Shoot, shoot, shoot me. 1905 01:17:52,711 --> 01:17:53,581 - Shoot me. - No, shoot me. 1906 01:17:53,712 --> 01:17:55,105 - No, shoot me. - Shoot me. 1907 01:17:55,235 --> 01:17:56,715 - Shoot me. - Shoot me. 1908 01:17:56,846 --> 01:17:58,674 A bullet in the head, shoot me, please. 1909 01:17:58,804 --> 01:18:00,937 - Please. - Shoot me first. 1910 01:18:01,067 --> 01:18:02,547 - Please, please shoot me. - Please, please. 1911 01:18:02,678 --> 01:18:04,288 Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. 1912 01:18:04,418 --> 01:18:06,290 Not getting out of the game that easily. 1913 01:18:06,420 --> 01:18:07,073 What's going on? 1914 01:18:07,204 --> 01:18:07,987 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1915 01:18:08,118 --> 01:18:10,120 Okay, uh, okay, I've got it. 1916 01:18:10,250 --> 01:18:11,817 Put the gun in as a wager. 1917 01:18:11,948 --> 01:18:13,297 That can be your buy-in. 1918 01:18:13,427 --> 01:18:14,124 I don't wanna play. 1919 01:18:14,254 --> 01:18:15,908 I just want to get Megan. 1920 01:18:16,039 --> 01:18:18,476 The game has winners as well as losers. 1921 01:18:18,606 --> 01:18:20,696 Captain got to drink the poison a few round ago. 1922 01:18:20,826 --> 01:18:22,132 [CAPTAIN GRUNTING] 1923 01:18:22,262 --> 01:18:23,568 Sadly, it wasn't enough. 1924 01:18:23,699 --> 01:18:26,266 What sort of sick game is this? 1925 01:18:27,398 --> 01:18:29,443 It's immersive. 1926 01:18:29,574 --> 01:18:32,011 No, no, Ruth, it's a trick. 1927 01:18:32,142 --> 01:18:34,840 Shall I put you down for a cheeky little round, Ruth? 1928 01:18:34,971 --> 01:18:36,842 No, Ruth, shoot me first. 1929 01:18:36,973 --> 01:18:39,627 This round, we'll release the dice from the tower. 1930 01:18:39,758 --> 01:18:43,501 If there's a total odd dice score, she goes free. 1931 01:18:43,631 --> 01:18:47,113 However, if there's an even score, I get the gun, 1932 01:18:47,244 --> 01:18:49,420 and you join her in lockup. 1933 01:18:49,550 --> 01:18:50,856 Um. 1934 01:18:50,987 --> 01:18:53,598 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1935 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,513 PETER: They allow the wearer 1936 01:18:55,643 --> 01:18:58,298 to see about a minute into the future, give or take. 1937 01:18:58,429 --> 01:19:01,040 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1938 01:19:01,171 --> 01:19:02,738 RUTH: Can I just, can I just check something quickly, 1939 01:19:02,868 --> 01:19:04,174 and then I'll, um, uh? 1940 01:19:06,002 --> 01:19:07,351 [TONE BLARING] 1941 01:19:07,481 --> 01:19:08,787 I'm just gonna have a look. 1942 01:19:09,919 --> 01:19:10,789 What's going on? 1943 01:19:12,225 --> 01:19:14,619 RUTH: Five, six, seven. 1944 01:19:18,188 --> 01:19:19,842 - What is she doing? - I don't really know. 1945 01:19:19,972 --> 01:19:23,497 And then 10, and hang on, so can you not count? 1946 01:19:23,628 --> 01:19:25,282 'Cause I can't concentrate. 1947 01:19:25,412 --> 01:19:26,283 Sorry, sorry. 1948 01:19:28,938 --> 01:19:29,895 53, oh, okay. 1949 01:19:33,507 --> 01:19:35,553 - AVIATOR: What are you doing? - Oh, sorry, one second. 1950 01:19:35,683 --> 01:19:38,295 I just need to check something, um. 1951 01:19:39,644 --> 01:19:40,863 What is she checking? 1952 01:19:40,993 --> 01:19:43,474 - I don't know. - RUTH: Oh, there they are, that. 1953 01:19:43,604 --> 01:19:46,172 Okay, yeah, okay, okay, let's do it. 1954 01:19:46,303 --> 01:19:47,173 Let's play. 1955 01:19:47,304 --> 01:19:48,740 [GUN CLANKING] 1956 01:19:48,871 --> 01:19:50,133 Let's play. 1957 01:19:50,263 --> 01:19:52,657 Let's play. We have a new player. 1958 01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:53,832 She's called Ruth. 1959 01:19:53,963 --> 01:19:56,574 We have a new player, everyone. 1960 01:19:56,704 --> 01:19:58,315 Here we go Place your bets, place your bets. 1961 01:19:58,445 --> 01:20:00,404 The game, the game 1962 01:20:00,534 --> 01:20:02,754 The game, what a game 1963 01:20:02,885 --> 01:20:04,930 [BELL RINGING] 1964 01:20:05,061 --> 01:20:06,714 [CHIPS CLANKING] 1965 01:20:06,845 --> 01:20:09,065 [machine whirring] 1966 01:20:10,675 --> 01:20:13,286 [BALLS RATTLING] 1967 01:20:15,071 --> 01:20:16,202 [COINS CLINKING] 1968 01:20:16,333 --> 01:20:17,464 [BELL RINGING] 1969 01:20:17,595 --> 01:20:21,033 Everyone, uh, we are about to release the dice. 1970 01:20:22,426 --> 01:20:24,907 No more bets, release the dice. 1971 01:20:26,343 --> 01:20:27,474 Stop playing. 1972 01:20:28,432 --> 01:20:32,392 [MACHINE CLATTERING AND SQUEAKING] 1973 01:20:33,916 --> 01:20:38,050 [COGS TURNING] 1974 01:20:40,923 --> 01:20:43,795 [DICE RATTLING] 1975 01:20:46,189 --> 01:20:48,931 [PLAYFUL MUSIC] 1976 01:20:49,061 --> 01:20:50,715 - 17. - 17. 1977 01:20:52,282 --> 01:20:53,587 - 32. - 32. 1978 01:20:53,936 --> 01:20:55,676 - 87. - 87. 1979 01:20:56,547 --> 01:20:58,679 - 32. - 32. 1980 01:20:59,767 --> 01:21:00,551 - 15. - 15. 1981 01:21:00,681 --> 01:21:01,160 11. 1982 01:21:01,291 --> 01:21:02,901 - 84. - 84. 1983 01:21:04,207 --> 01:21:05,469 86. 1984 01:21:05,599 --> 01:21:06,949 Shoot me! 1985 01:21:07,079 --> 01:21:08,385 [TELEPHONE WINDING] 1986 01:21:08,515 --> 01:21:09,995 Hello. 1987 01:21:10,126 --> 01:21:11,954 23, thank you. 1988 01:21:12,868 --> 01:21:14,695 How are things your end of the table? 1989 01:21:14,826 --> 01:21:17,698 Excellent, well done, well done. [LAUGHS] 1990 01:21:17,829 --> 01:21:20,179 Yes, yes, yes, gotta go 1991 01:21:20,310 --> 01:21:23,530 Gotta to go, yes Stephan, bye-bye, au revoir. 1992 01:21:23,661 --> 01:21:25,663 [PHONE RINGING] 1993 01:21:25,793 --> 01:21:27,056 Hi, Rosamund. 1994 01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:29,232 Oh, that's so crazy. 1995 01:21:29,362 --> 01:21:30,015 Oh. 1996 01:21:31,103 --> 01:21:32,191 One. 1997 01:21:32,322 --> 01:21:33,801 One, the result is 1998 01:21:37,805 --> 01:21:40,983 even, yes, even. 1999 01:21:41,113 --> 01:21:42,767 Sorry, Ruth. 2000 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:43,681 - No, no, no, no, that's-- - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 2001 01:21:43,811 --> 01:21:45,335 Doesn't make sense 2002 01:21:45,465 --> 01:21:46,597 [BELL RINGING] 2003 01:21:46,727 --> 01:21:47,554 This is where you go and get locked up 2004 01:21:47,685 --> 01:21:48,425 with those other losers. 2005 01:21:48,555 --> 01:21:49,730 - No, but sorry. - Leave now. 2006 01:21:49,861 --> 01:21:51,558 I didn't actually understand how to play this game, 2007 01:21:51,689 --> 01:21:53,430 so I don't think it's very fair that you can just do that 2008 01:21:53,560 --> 01:21:54,083 to somebody. 2009 01:21:54,213 --> 01:21:55,519 Oh, hang on. What? 2010 01:21:55,649 --> 01:21:57,390 Oh, what is that? 2011 01:21:57,521 --> 01:22:00,698 Oh, it's a 3. Does that count? 2012 01:22:01,307 --> 01:22:02,221 [PLAYERS GASPING] 2013 01:22:02,352 --> 01:22:04,876 [♪] 2014 01:22:05,007 --> 01:22:06,791 Okay. 2015 01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:08,662 Nobody panic. 2016 01:22:08,793 --> 01:22:11,709 Let's just look at the rules, shall we? 2017 01:22:12,666 --> 01:22:14,364 [PAPER RUSTLING] 2018 01:22:14,494 --> 01:22:18,542 [♪] 2019 01:22:23,068 --> 01:22:25,810 [ITEMS CLATTERING] 2020 01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:28,726 [SCREAMING] 2021 01:22:29,379 --> 01:22:30,771 AVIATOR: I win, I win. 2022 01:22:30,902 --> 01:22:32,643 - I always win. - I'll get ya. 2023 01:22:32,773 --> 01:22:35,646 [ITEMS CLATTERING] 2024 01:22:38,214 --> 01:22:42,392 You're not listening, you're not listening. 2025 01:22:42,522 --> 01:22:44,785 [SCREAMING] 2026 01:22:44,916 --> 01:22:47,658 [GLASS SHATTERING] 2027 01:22:49,573 --> 01:22:52,184 [PLAYERS SCREAMING] 2028 01:22:52,315 --> 01:22:54,186 [♪] 2029 01:22:54,317 --> 01:22:55,535 [BOTTLE SMASHING] 2030 01:22:55,666 --> 01:22:56,797 There's chaos. 2031 01:22:59,365 --> 01:23:00,932 Chaos, all is chaos. 2032 01:23:02,542 --> 01:23:05,763 Where's Megan? Where's Megan gone? 2033 01:23:05,893 --> 01:23:09,201 [♪] 2034 01:23:09,332 --> 01:23:11,334 Leave it now, haven't got time for this. 2035 01:23:16,078 --> 01:23:18,123 [FOOTSTEPS PLODDING] 2036 01:23:18,254 --> 01:23:21,039 I think it's around here somewhere. 2037 01:23:21,170 --> 01:23:21,909 [SWITCH CLICKING] 2038 01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:24,651 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 2039 01:23:32,920 --> 01:23:35,662 This is a 1984 Reverchon Privilege. 2040 01:23:38,796 --> 01:23:40,667 This is our time machine. 2041 01:23:44,454 --> 01:23:45,542 You came to save me. 2042 01:23:45,672 --> 01:23:47,761 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 2043 01:23:47,892 --> 01:23:50,503 Meegs, I'm so sorry I was a dick to you before. 2044 01:23:50,634 --> 01:23:53,680 I mean, I was 16, you know. 2045 01:23:53,811 --> 01:23:57,119 I thought you were you just, like, in a 16-year-old's body. 2046 01:23:59,251 --> 01:24:03,168 Yeah, but I know it's a bit weird. 2047 01:24:03,299 --> 01:24:05,866 The thing is, I just was on a high, you know. 2048 01:24:05,997 --> 01:24:08,043 Like, I, I felt like people were interested in me, 2049 01:24:08,173 --> 01:24:10,654 and I had energy, and I wanted to stay up late and do stuff. 2050 01:24:10,784 --> 01:24:13,439 And, like, I just felt like I had confidence, you know? 2051 01:24:13,570 --> 01:24:15,267 And I didn't wanna think about all the stuff 2052 01:24:15,398 --> 01:24:16,964 I normally worry about, which I do. 2053 01:24:17,095 --> 01:24:18,966 I worry all the time. 2054 01:24:19,097 --> 01:24:20,925 I mean, fucking look at me. 2055 01:24:21,056 --> 01:24:22,361 Megan, you're the one who does stuff. 2056 01:24:22,492 --> 01:24:24,494 You can stand up on a surfboard. 2057 01:24:24,624 --> 01:24:26,322 Like, I can't do that stuff. 2058 01:24:26,452 --> 01:24:27,671 And I'm just the one in the background 2059 01:24:27,801 --> 01:24:29,586 fucking sorting out the bills and-- 2060 01:24:29,716 --> 01:24:31,501 Ruth, what you do is really important. 2061 01:24:31,631 --> 01:24:33,242 We're a team. 2062 01:24:33,372 --> 01:24:35,679 You crossed the whole intermenstrual diaphragm 2063 01:24:35,809 --> 01:24:37,333 to come and save me. 2064 01:24:37,463 --> 01:24:39,161 You've got this. 2065 01:24:39,291 --> 01:24:40,727 I'm proud and-- 2066 01:24:40,858 --> 01:24:42,164 RUTH: Well, I mean, I wasn't gonna leave you there. 2067 01:24:42,294 --> 01:24:43,295 Proud and surprised. 2068 01:24:43,426 --> 01:24:45,732 [RUTH LAUGHING] 2069 01:24:45,863 --> 01:24:47,517 I did do it, though, didn't I? 2070 01:24:47,647 --> 01:24:48,779 I did. I did it. 2071 01:24:49,997 --> 01:24:51,260 I know 2072 01:24:53,653 --> 01:24:57,092 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 2073 01:24:57,222 --> 01:24:58,223 - Okay, let's go. - Go, go, go. 2074 01:24:58,354 --> 01:25:00,443 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 2075 01:25:06,362 --> 01:25:09,191 - Why's it not going? - Why's it not working? 2076 01:25:09,321 --> 01:25:10,366 - What? - Hang on. 2077 01:25:10,496 --> 01:25:11,671 Maybe I have to put the, no, I've done that. 2078 01:25:11,802 --> 01:25:13,282 - I don't understand. - Ruth, Ruth. 2079 01:25:13,412 --> 01:25:15,066 - Oh, my God. This isn't-- - Ruth. 2080 01:25:15,197 --> 01:25:16,633 - The time for it to not work. - Ruth. 2081 01:25:16,763 --> 01:25:18,156 - PETER: Ruth. - What? 2082 01:25:18,287 --> 01:25:21,290 If it all goes wrong, all you need to do is turn it off, 2083 01:25:21,420 --> 01:25:22,943 turn it back on again. 2084 01:25:23,074 --> 01:25:24,728 I think we need to turn it off and back on again. 2085 01:25:24,858 --> 01:25:27,731 Would you like to go for a drink with me sometime? 2086 01:25:27,861 --> 01:25:28,862 Ruth. 2087 01:25:28,993 --> 01:25:29,689 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 2088 01:25:29,820 --> 01:25:31,300 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 2089 01:25:31,430 --> 01:25:33,737 [CREATURE GROWLING] 2090 01:25:33,867 --> 01:25:34,912 What the fuck is that? 2091 01:25:35,042 --> 01:25:37,306 [MEGAN SCREAMS] 2092 01:25:37,436 --> 01:25:39,046 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 2093 01:25:39,177 --> 01:25:39,873 [SCREAMING] 2094 01:25:40,004 --> 01:25:41,179 Bugger me 2095 01:25:41,310 --> 01:25:42,789 [BOTH SCREAMING] 2096 01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:43,964 [CREATURE CLICKING] 2097 01:25:44,095 --> 01:25:45,966 Ruth, you forgot your winnings. 2098 01:25:46,097 --> 01:25:47,359 That was just part of the game 2099 01:25:47,490 --> 01:25:49,448 where we fight each other, Ruth. 2100 01:25:49,579 --> 01:25:52,016 Shit, they've gone. 2101 01:25:52,147 --> 01:25:55,280 Gavin, could you not run any faster with all those legs? 2102 01:25:55,411 --> 01:25:57,239 More legs does not equal more speed. 2103 01:25:57,369 --> 01:25:59,980 I think I remember where we were in the game. 2104 01:26:00,111 --> 01:26:02,679 GAVIN: They all get tangled it's a nightmare. 2105 01:26:02,809 --> 01:26:03,897 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 2106 01:26:04,028 --> 01:26:06,030 [BODY THUDDING] 2107 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,901 A new player. 2108 01:26:08,032 --> 01:26:10,469 Oh we're going to be such good friends. 2109 01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:12,079 Welcome to the Unreason. 2110 01:26:12,210 --> 01:26:14,081 You're stuck here forever. 2111 01:26:14,212 --> 01:26:15,474 But you're in luck. 2112 01:26:15,605 --> 01:26:18,738 I've devised an excellent way to pass the time. 2113 01:26:18,869 --> 01:26:21,785 What a game, what a game, what a game. [LAUGHS] 2114 01:26:21,915 --> 01:26:23,787 [RICK WHIMPERING] 2115 01:26:23,917 --> 01:26:28,270 [♪] 2116 01:26:34,841 --> 01:26:36,147 [TIME MACHINE WHIRRING] 2117 01:26:36,278 --> 01:26:37,583 RUTH: We're back. We did it. We did it. We're back. 2118 01:26:37,714 --> 01:26:38,584 We're in the mews. 2119 01:26:38,715 --> 01:26:40,891 [BOTH LAUGHING] 2120 01:26:41,021 --> 01:26:42,719 Yes. 2121 01:26:42,849 --> 01:26:44,503 Megan, perfect timing. 2122 01:26:44,634 --> 01:26:48,203 Wait till you see what I've found for ya, Venetian mask. 2123 01:26:49,813 --> 01:26:50,944 These are really rare. 2124 01:26:51,075 --> 01:26:52,424 It's yours for a pound. 2125 01:26:52,555 --> 01:26:54,383 I, Brenda, I don't want the mask. 2126 01:26:54,513 --> 01:26:55,906 You don't find these every day. 2127 01:26:56,036 --> 01:26:58,343 - No, Brenda. - 75 pence. 2128 01:26:58,474 --> 01:27:00,650 ♪ Woooooow 2129 01:27:00,780 --> 01:27:02,347 [CROWD CHEERING] 2130 01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:07,396 ♪ Oh baby I don't care 2131 01:27:08,310 --> 01:27:11,400 ♪ Oh baby I don't care 2132 01:27:12,444 --> 01:27:14,838 [ARMOUR RATTLING] 2133 01:27:14,968 --> 01:27:16,796 ♪ Well you can give me all your love ♪ 2134 01:27:16,927 --> 01:27:21,061 ♪ And anything else you got too ♪ 2135 01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:24,891 ♪ But don't pay it any mind 2136 01:27:25,022 --> 01:27:27,764 Will the peasants please stop going mad on the buffet? 2137 01:27:29,809 --> 01:27:33,683 ♪ You don't have to say you love me ♪ 2138 01:27:33,813 --> 01:27:38,165 ♪ And you don't have to say any prayers ♪ 2139 01:27:38,296 --> 01:27:41,168 Thank you for all your help, Robert. 2140 01:27:43,083 --> 01:27:45,956 I'm sorry I, I sort of ignored you on, 2141 01:27:46,086 --> 01:27:48,785 on the show all those years ago. 2142 01:27:50,830 --> 01:27:55,357 But I, I think I, I, I was a bit nervous, 2143 01:27:56,488 --> 01:27:58,316 you know, a bit in awe... 2144 01:27:59,622 --> 01:28:01,667 of all that you'd achieved. 2145 01:28:03,452 --> 01:28:04,714 It's all right. 2146 01:28:04,844 --> 01:28:13,679 [♪] 2147 01:28:17,770 --> 01:28:19,903 Botty was always my favourite. 2148 01:28:27,389 --> 01:28:30,435 ♪ But there's just one thing 2149 01:28:30,566 --> 01:28:33,351 ♪ You don't have to say 2150 01:28:34,874 --> 01:28:38,878 ♪ You don't have to say you love me ♪ 2151 01:28:39,009 --> 01:28:42,752 ♪ And you don't have to say any prayers ♪ 2152 01:28:42,882 --> 01:28:45,929 ♪ No you don't have to say you love me ♪ 2153 01:28:46,059 --> 01:28:48,714 Like those, um, future vision things 2154 01:28:48,845 --> 01:28:51,151 and the, the flying shoes. 2155 01:28:51,282 --> 01:28:54,546 It's amazing, really brilliant, actually, brilliant stuff. 2156 01:28:54,677 --> 01:28:56,809 Could I just, uh, have the microphone for a sec? 2157 01:28:56,940 --> 01:28:57,767 Thank you very much. 2158 01:29:00,465 --> 01:29:03,686 Uh, um, sorry, this, this will only take a minute. 2159 01:29:03,816 --> 01:29:07,080 Um, uh, I just wanted to thank you all 2160 01:29:07,211 --> 01:29:09,474 for coming to the meeting. 2161 01:29:09,605 --> 01:29:11,563 Technically, it's not a meeting. 2162 01:29:11,694 --> 01:29:12,956 It's a party. 2163 01:29:13,086 --> 01:29:14,087 [LAUGHS] 2164 01:29:14,218 --> 01:29:18,178 Um, for those of you who don't know me, 2165 01:29:18,309 --> 01:29:21,225 I've been chairman of this august society for a while. 2166 01:29:21,356 --> 01:29:24,533 But it's time for me to hand over the reins. 2167 01:29:24,663 --> 01:29:27,971 I will, in fact, still be a member. 2168 01:29:29,364 --> 01:29:34,630 Um, but Valerie will be your new chairperson. 2169 01:29:36,675 --> 01:29:39,374 But before I go, I did just want to say... 2170 01:29:40,636 --> 01:29:41,854 thank you for having me. 2171 01:29:43,856 --> 01:29:45,075 And it has been... 2172 01:29:48,252 --> 01:29:49,862 it has been a pleasure... 2173 01:29:51,647 --> 01:29:53,126 and an honour. 2174 01:29:55,607 --> 01:29:59,002 So thank you very much and good luck, Valerie. 2175 01:29:59,132 --> 01:30:00,220 Hooray. 2176 01:30:00,351 --> 01:30:02,005 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 2177 01:30:02,135 --> 01:30:04,442 [HAPPY MUSIC] 2178 01:30:05,922 --> 01:30:08,272 ♪ Let's travel back in time 2179 01:30:08,403 --> 01:30:09,795 Big round of applause for that guy. 2180 01:30:09,926 --> 01:30:11,841 We have a horse and chariot parked 2181 01:30:11,971 --> 01:30:13,669 on double yellows outside. 2182 01:30:13,799 --> 01:30:17,150 Can we please get it shifted from the venue? 2183 01:30:18,369 --> 01:30:19,152 What have you got? 2184 01:30:19,283 --> 01:30:21,590 [GENTLE MUSIC] 2185 01:30:21,720 --> 01:30:24,419 MARTIN: Uh, I think, well, you could take them away for a free try. 2186 01:30:24,549 --> 01:30:26,595 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 2187 01:30:26,725 --> 01:30:27,944 CUSTOMER: Is this one minute into the future? 2188 01:30:28,074 --> 01:30:30,163 I do accept American USD, 2189 01:30:30,294 --> 01:30:32,949 American dollars or pounds, no euros. 2190 01:30:33,079 --> 01:30:35,778 Then, this one gathers your noodles. 2191 01:30:38,041 --> 01:30:38,911 CUSTOMER: Wow. 2192 01:30:39,042 --> 01:30:40,870 It says what it does on the tin. 2193 01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:42,219 Well, we're just selling, 2194 01:30:42,349 --> 01:30:44,047 they're selling some of their inventions. 2195 01:30:44,177 --> 01:30:47,572 We're just selling some of our things we've found, um-- 2196 01:30:47,703 --> 01:30:48,921 To raise money. 2197 01:30:49,052 --> 01:30:50,488 Yeah, we're raising money for-- 2198 01:30:50,619 --> 01:30:52,490 MEGAN: For our new headquarters. 2199 01:30:52,621 --> 01:30:55,754 And I declare our new headquarters open. 2200 01:30:56,929 --> 01:30:57,756 [SCISSORS RASPING] 2201 01:30:57,887 --> 01:31:00,759 [MEMBERS CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] 2202 01:31:00,890 --> 01:31:01,717 [LAUGHING] 2203 01:31:01,847 --> 01:31:03,153 Whoo. 2204 01:31:03,283 --> 01:31:05,895 [CHATTERING] 2205 01:31:07,810 --> 01:31:08,506 [TOY MEOWING] 2206 01:31:08,637 --> 01:31:09,420 Shut up. 2207 01:31:12,641 --> 01:31:14,425 Well, emotionally, I couldn't afford to part with it, 2208 01:31:14,556 --> 01:31:16,209 and financially, you couldn't afford it. 2209 01:31:16,340 --> 01:31:20,083 So it's kind of like a rebranding. 2210 01:31:20,213 --> 01:31:22,694 It's now the British Research Engineering 2211 01:31:22,825 --> 01:31:24,522 and Scientific Thought Society. 2212 01:31:24,653 --> 01:31:26,568 It's a little bit more inclusive. Um-- 2213 01:31:26,698 --> 01:31:27,656 RUTH: It's a lot more inclusive. 2214 01:31:27,786 --> 01:31:29,092 There's more women, for starters. 2215 01:31:29,222 --> 01:31:31,442 - MEGAN: Yeah. - RUTH: Much more balanced. 2216 01:31:31,573 --> 01:31:33,662 There, don't smudge it. That's right. 2217 01:31:33,792 --> 01:31:34,793 RUTH: Too much testosterone before. 2218 01:31:34,924 --> 01:31:36,491 - Yeah, much too much. - Yeah. 2219 01:31:36,621 --> 01:31:38,928 PETER: A powerful jet engine. 2220 01:31:39,058 --> 01:31:43,889 I mean, they're good fun, but they're, you might die. 2221 01:31:44,020 --> 01:31:46,457 But you might die crossing the road. 2222 01:31:46,588 --> 01:31:47,458 What do you think? 2223 01:31:47,589 --> 01:31:49,155 Would you like to purchase one, uh? 2224 01:31:49,286 --> 01:31:51,027 [ROCKET BOOT WHIRRING] 2225 01:31:51,157 --> 01:31:52,550 CUSTOMER: Uh. 2226 01:31:52,681 --> 01:31:55,597 - PETER: Do you? - I can't see you, so. 2227 01:31:55,727 --> 01:31:56,641 'Cause I can still see it. 2228 01:31:56,772 --> 01:31:58,164 I can still-- 2229 01:31:58,295 --> 01:32:01,037 Uh. Any sort of particular branch of engineering 2230 01:32:01,167 --> 01:32:03,474 and scientific research interests? 2231 01:32:03,605 --> 01:32:05,215 Well, Val's in charge now, which is brilliant. 2232 01:32:05,345 --> 01:32:06,651 MEGAN: We have more fun. 2233 01:32:06,782 --> 01:32:08,174 Uh, these are the new members. 2234 01:32:08,305 --> 01:32:09,567 Oh, great, thank you. 2235 01:32:09,698 --> 01:32:11,047 [PAPER RUSTLING] 2236 01:32:11,177 --> 01:32:12,744 Oh, no, Max is on here, though. 2237 01:32:12,875 --> 01:32:14,964 Well, yes, it turns out his machine does work. 2238 01:32:17,270 --> 01:32:20,752 [♪] 2239 01:32:22,232 --> 01:32:24,756 They let me in the club. I'm in. 2240 01:32:24,887 --> 01:32:27,629 Wonders will never cease, very good. 2241 01:32:31,546 --> 01:32:40,424 [♪] 2242 01:32:48,475 --> 01:32:51,740 NARRATOR: Sometime later, we checked back in with Ruth and Megan 2243 01:32:51,870 --> 01:32:54,046 to see how they were getting on. 2244 01:32:54,177 --> 01:32:55,961 I was really scared because they were saying, like, 2245 01:32:56,092 --> 01:32:58,703 "You've got, like, a 90% chance of dying," 2246 01:32:58,834 --> 01:33:00,531 but at the end of the day, it was either gonna happen 2247 01:33:00,662 --> 01:33:01,619 or it wasn't, so-- 2248 01:33:01,750 --> 01:33:03,926 - Mm, mm. - It's always 50-50, isn't it? 2249 01:33:04,056 --> 01:33:05,928 You could say that you getting stuck in the asshole of time 2250 01:33:06,058 --> 01:33:07,843 actually has brought everyone closer together. 2251 01:33:07,973 --> 01:33:09,235 - Mm-Hmm, um. - And it gave 2252 01:33:09,366 --> 01:33:10,889 Ralph and Botty happy endings. 2253 01:33:11,020 --> 01:33:12,412 - Mm. - Uh. 2254 01:33:14,632 --> 01:33:16,242 MEGAN: They finally got to travel back in time. 2255 01:33:16,373 --> 01:33:18,027 They just went down memory lane. 2256 01:33:18,157 --> 01:33:19,811 This is all theoretical. 2257 01:33:19,942 --> 01:33:22,553 Um, time travel is completely impossible. 2258 01:33:22,684 --> 01:33:24,599 I mean, who are you to say what's possible? 2259 01:33:24,729 --> 01:33:27,558 Well, if a time machine had been invented, 2260 01:33:27,689 --> 01:33:30,082 then surely, time travellers from the future would've come 2261 01:33:30,213 --> 01:33:31,562 back to visit us. 2262 01:33:31,693 --> 01:33:34,347 [RALPH LAUGHING] Well, she's got you there. 2263 01:33:34,478 --> 01:33:35,566 [VALERIE AND RALPH LAUGHING] 2264 01:33:35,697 --> 01:33:37,307 [BOTTY LAUGHING] 2265 01:33:37,437 --> 01:33:39,265 - BOTTY: How's she got me? - RALPH: Yes. 2266 01:33:39,396 --> 01:33:42,747 RALPH: Well, thank you for coming to talk to us today, Valerie. 2267 01:33:42,878 --> 01:33:43,922 Valerie? 2268 01:33:44,053 --> 01:33:45,489 I said how's she got me? 2269 01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:48,361 Um, uh, no, thank you, uh, uh, of course, no problem. 2270 01:33:48,492 --> 01:33:49,841 [LAUGHS] Yes, thank you, Ralph. 2271 01:33:49,972 --> 01:33:51,060 And, and thank you, Botty. 2272 01:33:51,190 --> 01:33:52,888 [LAUGHS] Thank you. 2273 01:33:53,018 --> 01:33:56,239 See you next time on "The Future, Today." 2274 01:33:56,369 --> 01:33:59,416 - Thank you. - Good night. 2275 01:33:59,546 --> 01:34:01,374 RUTH: The fracture still opens up. 2276 01:34:01,505 --> 01:34:03,420 We've got this system now where we've actually used it 2277 01:34:03,550 --> 01:34:04,203 to our advantage. 2278 01:34:04,334 --> 01:34:05,509 Yeah. 2279 01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:07,119 So we've, we've got this wardrobe in front of it. 2280 01:34:07,250 --> 01:34:11,297 MEGAN: Which basically houses the portal to the storage, 2281 01:34:11,428 --> 01:34:12,385 you know, just a little bit more 2282 01:34:12,516 --> 01:34:14,039 health and safety conscious. 2283 01:34:14,170 --> 01:34:15,171 - Brilliant. - MEGAN: Really handy. 2284 01:34:15,301 --> 01:34:16,912 - It's brilliant. - MEGAN: Yeah. 2285 01:34:17,042 --> 01:34:18,957 RUTH: And we're able to chuck stuff in there. 2286 01:34:19,088 --> 01:34:19,828 MEGAN: Yes. 2287 01:34:21,090 --> 01:34:22,395 [LAMP CLATTERING] 2288 01:34:25,703 --> 01:34:29,185 GAVIN: Aisle 65 lamps, Mr. Entrepreneur. 2289 01:34:29,315 --> 01:34:31,491 Don't look at me, my arms are full mate! 2290 01:34:31,622 --> 01:34:32,667 - It's free. - Yeah. 2291 01:34:32,797 --> 01:34:34,103 - It's free storage. - Yeah. 2292 01:34:36,627 --> 01:34:38,673 RUTH: And they've got a really good system down there, so-- 2293 01:34:38,803 --> 01:34:41,719 Yeah, we've, uh, essentially created a new game for them. 2294 01:34:41,850 --> 01:34:43,286 AVIATOR: [OVER SPEAKER] Bing bong! 2295 01:34:43,416 --> 01:34:45,288 Rick to the manager's office. Rick to the manager's office. 2296 01:34:45,418 --> 01:34:47,464 Oh you're in trouble. 2297 01:34:47,594 --> 01:34:50,119 AVIATOR: [OVER SPEAKER] Oh, what a game, what a game, what a game. 2298 01:34:50,249 --> 01:34:51,424 [LAUGHS] 2299 01:34:51,555 --> 01:34:52,817 Rick disappeared. 2300 01:34:52,948 --> 01:34:54,514 We don't know where he is, which is bloody brilliant 2301 01:34:54,645 --> 01:34:56,038 because now, obviously, we're not gonna be evicted. 2302 01:34:56,168 --> 01:34:57,300 No. 2303 01:34:57,430 --> 01:34:59,476 I think he's met someone, or he's gone away. 2304 01:34:59,606 --> 01:35:01,565 If you're out there, Rick, we just wish you all the best. 2305 01:35:01,696 --> 01:35:02,261 Best of luck. 2306 01:35:02,392 --> 01:35:03,306 Hope it works out. 2307 01:35:05,177 --> 01:35:06,396 MEGAN: No, business has been great. 2308 01:35:06,526 --> 01:35:07,876 Loads of people coming from all over now. 2309 01:35:08,006 --> 01:35:09,573 - Yeah. - Since the documentary, like-- 2310 01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:10,705 Yeah, it really put us on the map. 2311 01:35:10,835 --> 01:35:12,141 Yeah, and Muswell Hill. 2312 01:35:12,271 --> 01:35:13,142 - Yeah. - Which is nice. 2313 01:35:13,272 --> 01:35:15,361 [♪] 2314 01:35:19,365 --> 01:35:21,803 MEGAN: We don't need to take stuff from the past anymore. 2315 01:35:21,933 --> 01:35:22,934 We just use it for a laugh. 2316 01:35:23,065 --> 01:35:24,544 - Yeah. - Just use it to have fun. 2317 01:35:24,675 --> 01:35:25,458 Mm. 2318 01:35:27,286 --> 01:35:30,594 [♪] 2319 01:35:34,380 --> 01:35:36,513 What's better than exploring time and space? 2320 01:35:36,643 --> 01:35:38,515 With your best friend. 2321 01:35:41,126 --> 01:35:43,085 NARRATOR: And that's the end, I think. 2322 01:35:43,215 --> 01:35:47,959 Uh, uh, let me just check here, yep, yeah, mm-hmm.