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Downloaded from
YTS.LT
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.LT
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[GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
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NARRATOR:
Oh, hello there.
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It's my absolute pleasure
to welcome you
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to the leafy North London
suburb of Muswell Hill,
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a pretty unremarkable
place for the most part,
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were it not
for its curious inhabitants,
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people of imagination
and ingenuity
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with a love of the past
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and an unshakeable belief
in the future.
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But this little world
was changed forever
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by a sequence
of extraordinary events.
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And it all started
six years ago
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on a mews behind
the high street
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ah, yes, that one,
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at this vintage shop,
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run by best friends Ruth
and Megan,
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but I'll let them explain.
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Uh, we sell vintage and,
I, I don't really like
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the word retro, but people
like to say it.
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But we just basically
sell anything
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that we can get our hands on,
really, that's from the past.
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MEGAN:
There's no kind of particular
period we stock and sell.
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It's just anything
that catches our eye.
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So like, we'll put '50s,
and '70s, and '80s together.
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Business has really
picked up lately.
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RUTH:
Yeah, I think it was about,
probably about a month ago.
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- Yeah.
- We found this thing outside.
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It was literally by the bins.
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MEGAN:
We weren't sure
whether to take it or not
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'cause it just looked like
some kind
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of school project or something.
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But we were just drawn to it,
so we kind of dragged it in.
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Yeah, and then I guess we
were just messing about and...
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And I went to 1945.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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RUTH:
The machine enables us
to go to that point in time.
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So basically, to get from A,
which is here, to go to B,
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which is 1959,
we put it in the machine,
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and then it's like this
vortex, this portal to--
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MEGAN:
It's undescribable, really.
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Yeah.
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- System?
- Check.
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And destination?
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- Check.
- And fuel cell one.
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We're not kind of
scientifically minded.
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So I mean, I,
I say it's a wormhole,
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but I actually don't know
what a wormhole is.
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[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
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[LAMP CLANKING]
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RUTH:
Maybe they've got some pewter.
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- MEGAN: Oh.
- RUTH: People like pewter.
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[CROWD CHEERING]
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[DRUMS BANGING]
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[CROWD MEMBERS CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY]
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RUTH:
Since we found the machine,
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we can pretty much get
anything we want.
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Wow.
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Mm, the ceramics are quite good.
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RUTH:
Ceramics.
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Uh, and, uh, metalware
always does quite well.
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Uh, I mean, like,
if somebody wanted, like,
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a car from the '50s,
that would be difficult.
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We've never brought
anything that big back.
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But it's great for our business
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because you know,
we do clothing, homeware
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You know, it, it's,
it's portable stuff.
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[FUNKY MUSIC]
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RUTH:
I don't think it's stealing.
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I mean, because we don't
stick around long enough
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to know what happens afterwards,
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I kind of, in my head,
just imagine
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that those things just
reappear for those people.
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[DOGS BARKING]
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Come on. Go, go, go.
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The whole process has
cut costs right down
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because it's,
it's a lot cheaper in the past.
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Well it's free.
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[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
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I mean, yeah, sometimes
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we, we, we do take quite
a lot of stuff.
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We have got a storage issue now.
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RUTH:
Yeah, upstairs
is quite jam packed.
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MEGAN:
Mm.
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RUTH:
We're, we're trying
to get it sorted.
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[TOY SQUEAKING]
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RUTH:
We just need to get more space.
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It's just hard to sometimes
hold back
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because there's just
so much good stuff.
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Like, the other day, there
was something at the back,
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and I couldn't get it,
so we just--
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Went and got another one.
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Went in the machine
and just got it again.
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We got a cat once, actually.
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[EXHALES]
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It sort of didn't stay
in the machine,
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which was really,
it was quite sad.
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MEGAN:
Yeah, harrowing.
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The machine's our secret, really.
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Yeah, no one knows it's here.
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MEGAN:
Mm.
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And no one knows we're using it.
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MEGAN:
Mm.
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Apart from you guys, obviously.
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Mm.
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RUTH:
I think people just, uh,
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they, they hanker for things
they had,
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and they, they have
this nostalgia and--
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MEGAN:
You just can't put a price
on nostalgia.
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RUTH:
No. We, we do, though.
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Yeah, we do.
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- RUTH: Pays the rent.
- MEGAN: Yeah.
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[MELLOW MUSIC]
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Uh, we, we sort of take care
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of different sides
of the business each.
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So I guess you take care
of all the customers, really.
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They seem to really like Megan.
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- MEGAN: Mm.
- She's very good with people.
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They just love me.
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RUTH:
And I do like more
the admin jobs,
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like, um, paying bills, um--
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Bookkeeping.
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- Yeah, a bit of cleaning.
- Yeah.
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[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING]
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MEGAN:
Could you,
could you turn it off?
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Yeah.
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[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING]
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Yeah, so it's, um, it's
measured by light years per year
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at the precessing longitude
of the progressive node.
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Mm, and that's how
you turn it on.
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Uh, no, that's how
you turn it on.
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I know, I know, but that is,
we do press that one.
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That's, like,
the seat adjustment.
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Yeah, 'cause sometimes it's too,
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it's a little bit low.
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I do most of the driving.
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Um--
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You do all of the driving.
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- I do all of the driving.
- I'm fine with that.
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I haven't got any problems
with it.
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I'm not even--
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It's, Ruth gets quite
anxious driving.
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I'm quite anxious about
a lot of things,
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but mainly just the,
all this is quite, like--
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- Overwhelming.
- Yeah.
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Meegs, I don't think,
I don't actually think
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you should be doing this.
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I think, fuck, fuck, fuck,
it's on fire.
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- Oh.
- Meegs, it's on fire.
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MEGAN:
Uh, uh, spray then.
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Can you just take that bit off,
and then I can just do it?
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'Cause it's equal.
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It's still equal parts--
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- Yeah, no, we all do--
- 'Cause I do--
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We all do our bit.
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Uh, been friends
for a long time.
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Uh, I just don't really
like the term best friend.
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We're definitely best friends.
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- Um--
- Definitely.
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Found all these tapes
with the time machine.
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They're of this old science
show, totally hooked now.
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[TAPE CLATTERING]
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[TAPE WHIRRING]
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Hello there,
I'm Dr. Ralph Sheldrake.
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[LAUGHS]
And I'm Botty.
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And welcome to
"The Future, Today."
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Today.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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[♪]
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[HANDS THUDDING]
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[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
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With the rapid advancement
in artificial intelligence,
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what we really want to know
is, will computers ever be able
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to destroy humans...
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...at chess?
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Your move.
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[PIECE CLANKING]
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[RALPH LAUGHING]
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What?
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I think that's checkmate, mate.
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[BOTTY SCREAMING]
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It seems Botty still
has a long way to go.
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[TAPE NOISE]
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[PENSIVE COUNTRY MUSIC]
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Uh, so we've got,
we've come to America.
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MEGAN:
The Wild West.
We've never been before.
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[CHURCH BELL RINGING]
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I think a lot of the
stuff here is handmade.
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- Yeah, it's just really--
- Oh, that's nice.
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Oh, hello.
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It's nice, but there is a bit of
a weird vibe, though.
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There's a lot of toxic--
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- Yeah.
- Masculinity, I'd say.
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00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,134
Yeah.
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00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,701
Not somewhere
that I would wanna--
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WOMAN 1:
Oh, it's kicking off.
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[GUNSHOT BLASTING]
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[COWBOY SCREAMING]
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00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,184
[ONLOOKERS SCREAMING]
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He just shot him.
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RUTH:
That's weird. Is he all right?
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Surely there's better ways
to resolve conflict.
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[GUNSHOTS BLASTING]
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00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:19,020
[ONLOOKERS SCREAMING]
206
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,238
Wow.
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00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,110
Do we, do we,
should tell someone or?
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Look at this. It's actually
been hand-stitched.
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Beautiful.
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Um, I mean, the thing is,
in Muswell Hill,
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00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,508
you get a lot of vegans,
so I don't know
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00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,813
if they're gonna be
into the leather,
213
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:32,424
but we could try sell it to,
to people in Wood Green?
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00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,819
Um, but yeah, I mean...
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00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,126
[ONLOOKER SCREAMING AND SOBBING]
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00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,736
- Shit.
- That's bad.
217
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,129
That's, oh--
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What a waste of life.
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00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:43,740
[FLIES BUZZING]
220
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:46,351
MEGAN:
Did, did he, did he get the hat?
221
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,789
I think we can just take that
because that'll just get,
222
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:49,920
you could probably
get that dry cleaned.
223
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:50,921
[COWBOY GROANING]
224
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:51,879
I don't think
there's blood on it.
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00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:56,666
[RAMBLING COUNTRY MUSIC]
226
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:11,202
[FEET THUDDING]
227
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,554
[EXHALES]
228
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,643
[TAPE MEASURE RATTLING]
229
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:17,861
[TAPE MEASURE CLANKING]
230
00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,428
[PAPER RUSTLING]
231
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,516
- RICK: So what do you reckon?
- I don't know how it's gonna--
232
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,823
Shh, Ruth, I'm talking to Dave.
Dave?
233
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,389
DAVE: [ON PHONE]
It's a bit small, mate.
234
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,870
It's not small.
It's, it's compact. It's modern.
235
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,393
It's luxury.
236
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,526
Yeah, so, um, I've been in
the property development game
237
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:31,962
for the past four years now.
238
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,791
And key thing, must have vision.
239
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,532
I mean, imagine what this
place would look like
240
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,925
without all this shit in here.
241
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:38,969
- Ruth.
- DAVE: Mm-hmm.
242
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,275
Move your head.
I'm taking pictures.
243
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,494
You're spoiling it.
You need luxury flats.
244
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,409
What you don't need
are charity shops.
245
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,411
- It's not a charity shop.
- Well it smells like one.
246
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,326
Hold that. Go to the back.
247
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:51,242
Go to the back and bring,
over there.
248
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,680
[ITEM SHATTERING]
249
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:54,681
RICK:
Higher, Ruth.
250
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,033
Hold it up higher, Ruth.
251
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,208
My arms hurt.
252
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:00,948
Let go.
253
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,514
[TAPE MEASURE CLANKING]
254
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:03,603
RICK:
Where's that lovely Megan?
255
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,387
Uh, Megan is not here.
256
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:06,388
RICK:
Oh, that's a shame.
257
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,172
She's the better one.
258
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,260
[HANDS DRUMMING
AND FINGERS CLICKING]
259
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:10,218
RICK:
Rent.
260
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,089
I've got it all ready.
261
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,874
That's for you.
262
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:14,614
RICK:
Bloody hell,
where'd you get that from?
263
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:15,440
Did you rob a bank?
264
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:16,703
No, not a bank.
265
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,182
Lovely to see you.
266
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,098
RICK:
Yeah.
267
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,534
- RICK: Ciao, ciao.
- RUTH: Bye, Rick.
268
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:23,971
RUTH:
Should I just put
the ladder away?
269
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,494
RICK:
Ciao, ciao.
270
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:27,888
- MEGAN: Is he gone?
- Yeah, he's gone.
271
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,759
Oh, what a dick.
272
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:31,935
Coulda helped me.
273
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:35,025
Rick's kinda your department,
you know, complaints, refunds.
274
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:38,507
Ah, Brenda, I've got that,
um, antique letter opener
275
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,030
you were after.
276
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:41,031
[SWORD RASPING]
277
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,729
BRENDA:
Oh, never mind that anymore.
278
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,948
Um, listen, I've got just
a thing for you.
279
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,558
Just not really buying
anything at the moment, Brenda.
280
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:47,603
No, it's not for the shop.
281
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,083
It's for you.
282
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,694
Look at this. Look at this.
283
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,044
I mean, look, it's too
young for Ruth and me,
284
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,220
but it would be absolutely
perfect for you.
285
00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,222
We're the same age.
286
00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,529
I'm just, I just don't
need anything, Brenda.
287
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,617
RUTH:
But it's great.
It's great, but--
288
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:02,618
So, you know.
289
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,446
Can I help you?
290
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,491
Yes, I think you might
be able to help, actually.
291
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:11,366
I'm very interested in, uh,
where you get all these things.
292
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,498
Yeah, I mean it's,
it's a bit of a trade secret,
293
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:14,412
to be honest, but we--
294
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,719
For 50 pence. 50 pence.
295
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,504
I don't want this.
296
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:22,551
No, well, I mean I spend a lot
of my life in charity shops.
297
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,640
RUTH:
Oh, this isn't a charity shop.
298
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,729
Bric-a-brac stores,
you know, full of rubbish.
299
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,035
RUTH:
Yeah, yeah.
It's vintage actually.
300
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,471
- Uh.
- But yeah.
301
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:34,302
But this, to my untutored eye,
they seem obviously old
302
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,652
but also somehow new.
303
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,219
BRENDA:
Okay, I'm losing money here.
304
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,176
MARTIN:
One might almost say.
305
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:40,438
It's called dead stock, I think.
306
00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:41,135
- That's what--
- MARTIN: Pardon?
307
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:42,136
Dead stock.
308
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,660
Brenda, I don't want it.
309
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,444
This really should be
in the British Museum.
310
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:47,750
I know. It's amazing, isn't it?
311
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,970
We actually got it
directly from Egypt.
312
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,972
Yeah, hi, are you actually
interested in anything?
313
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,234
Yes, yes.
314
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,671
I have actually seen
things I'm interested in.
315
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,281
Oh, sorry, we're not actually
buying at the moment.
316
00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,239
RUTH:
And we haven't really got
the budget.
317
00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,501
[BODY THUDDING]
318
00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:00,371
Why did you...
319
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:01,329
[BODY THUDDING]
320
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:07,857
Must be hot.
321
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,816
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
322
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:13,254
If you're serious about vintage,
come to Cha Cha Cha.
323
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,517
MEGAN:
If it's '50s, '60s, '70s, '90s.
324
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,953
- RUTH: '80s.
- MEGAN: '90s.
325
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:17,998
MEGAN:
We've got it all.
326
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,129
We mix periods.
327
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,872
Hello, Cha Cha Cha.
328
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:25,527
Yeah, our kind and courteous
staff are on hand
329
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:28,008
to help you find any items
from the past.
330
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,140
Um, we use cutting-edge
techniques
331
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,925
and an expert knowledge
of history.
332
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,927
No job's too small.
333
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:35,537
Sorry, none of these
fucking pens work, Megan.
334
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:36,451
What the?
335
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,196
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
336
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:46,809
RUTH:
Cha Cha Cha.
337
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,115
[TV CLICKING]
338
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,944
Ralph, what have you got to say?
339
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:54,034
Well, yes,
that is my time machine.
340
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,209
MARTIN:
Mm.
341
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,385
But, but I destroyed it
over 20 years ago.
342
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:58,952
Excuse me, Martin.
343
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,041
Is this a social meeting?
344
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,956
No, it's a meeting.
345
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:03,913
Well, you didn't send me
an agenda,
346
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,654
so I didn't send one out.
347
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,612
No one knows the time
or place of the meeting.
348
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:08,831
MARTIN:
Well, yeah,
except everyone's here,
349
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,225
and I'm explaining
the agenda now.
350
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,792
Okay, but just,
you wanna let me know
351
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,010
what the objectives
of the meeting--
352
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,403
MEETING MEMBERS:
Oh, come on.
Go take a hike.
353
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:19,363
[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING]
354
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,496
MARTIN:
Ralph has cocked up big time.
355
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,063
Now, I don't know, uh,
who these two women are.
356
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,805
They're obviously bloody idiots,
but they have got it.
357
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,676
It, it definitely doesn't work,
358
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,896
and it definitely
doesn't go back in time.
359
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,593
Really, Ralph.
360
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,986
[BOX THUDDING]
361
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:33,595
[MARTIN GRUNTING]
362
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:34,465
[COINS RATTLING]
363
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:35,815
[BOWL CLANKING]
364
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:42,560
Stolen, purloined, thieved,
nabbed from the past.
365
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,433
It's not possible.
366
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,652
I mean, this is really
dangerous.
367
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,045
ALEX:
You are not wrong, Ralph.
368
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:52,614
This is a serious breach of
our secrecy policy and this.
369
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,094
No, no, no, no.
[SIGHS]
370
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:56,226
I got rid of it
because it lands you-- in the--
371
00:13:56,357 --> 00:14:00,274
Okay, so-- one dash two,
paragraph three, secrecy.
372
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,147
If unanimously agreed
by members, the perpetrator,
373
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,671
that's Ralph, uh, shall be
expelled from the society
374
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,238
and their research confiscated.
375
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,545
That means we take
the time machine.
376
00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,068
- It becomes mine.
- VALERIE: Expulsion?
377
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,809
- Well the societies obviously.
- Isn't that a bit harsh?
378
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:14,897
I mean, Ralph didn't know
379
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,943
these two idiots would find
his machine.
380
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,466
You've already thrown
out all of my friends.
381
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,511
Ralph's the only one left.
382
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:23,471
ALEX:
I'm your friend, Val.
383
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,473
MARTIN:
Ralph, your time machine
is in the hands of two
384
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,736
of the most stupid,
most ignorant,
385
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,869
low-intelligence people
in Muswell Hill.
386
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,044
MEGAN:
What is this?
387
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,612
Is it, like, some sort of club?
388
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,832
No, it's not a club.
It's a society.
389
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,399
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
390
00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:40,792
NARRATOR:
The Technology
Engineering Scientific Thought
391
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,882
and Innovation Society
392
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,058
was founded by Valerie Lancaster
393
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:48,409
and Ralph Sheldrake
at the turn of the millennium
394
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,195
as a forum for local inventors
to share their ideas.
395
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:55,068
In 2008, Martin Onions joined.
396
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,288
He quickly assumed control.
397
00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:00,769
The committee also
includes Peter Kiddler
398
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,684
and Secretary Alex Lemin.
399
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,904
The society has many rules,
400
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:07,907
the most important
of which is secrecy.
401
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,954
I mean, do you not remember
the society motto?
402
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:18,047
Well, it's inserere hic
sententiam, inventing in secret.
403
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:21,224
NARRATOR:
It actually means,
insert motto here,
404
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:24,662
a misunderstanding of
the badge design website.
405
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,186
I mean, what do you think
would happen,
406
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,144
I mean, if all the inventions
got out there?
407
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,450
Well, I mean, it would probably
be a much--
408
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,931
No, I, I'm,
I haven't finished, Val.
409
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:35,760
If the government come
knocking on that door--
410
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:37,327
I'm locking up.
411
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:41,244
To take your valuable work,
that's the end of all this fun.
412
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,463
Secrecy is key.
413
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,857
[DOOR CLATTERING AND SQUEAKING]
414
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,424
RALPH:
You are never to use that
machine again.
415
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,905
It's very important.
416
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,342
It's damaged in a way
you wouldn't understand.
417
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,083
What, what, what's the problem
with it?
418
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,477
I had a bad experience.
419
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:02,178
[PEOPLE YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
420
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,877
Okay, until we find a safe
and secure location
421
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,531
for the machine, I think
you two should attend
422
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:08,880
these meetings once a week.
423
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,360
- I can't do that.
- What?
424
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,535
- I've got other commitments.
- MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
425
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,102
MARTIN:
You might even learn a,
a little bit
426
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:15,757
about the rudiments of science,
not that Ralph's old TV show
427
00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,151
hasn't furnished you with
a formidable education.
428
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,762
- It was a good show, so--
- Oh, my God, it's Dr. Sheldrake.
429
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,416
"The Future, Today."
430
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,244
- Do you live in Muswell Hill?
- We watch all your shows.
431
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:25,723
- We've got them on tape.
- Oh, my God, love you.
432
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,421
Really enjoy them.
433
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,423
ALEX:
So all those in favour
of giving Ralph another chance.
434
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,250
RALPH:
Oh.
435
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:34,471
And, um, giving
honorary membership
436
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,952
to Ruth and Megan for the,
for the time being.
437
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,562
- My job, my job, Alex.
- VALERIE: Oh.
438
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:39,868
My job, Val.
439
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,610
Right, so all those in favour
say aye.
440
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:43,698
MEMBERS:
Aye.
441
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,655
- Motion passed.
- RALPH: Thank you.
442
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,309
Oh, shit.
443
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,746
I think we should all start
taking
444
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,313
this place more seriously.
445
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:52,228
ALEX:
Martin?
446
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,404
Shall I put this in the minutes,
Martin?
447
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,624
'Cause it, it sounded like it
was to yourself
448
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:59,061
but it, it could have also
not been to yourself
449
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,367
So I'm just,
I'm not exactly sure
450
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:01,629
I'm recording everything,
451
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,065
but I don't have to be
recording anything.
452
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:06,634
I could just, I could just,
I could focus on the loud stuff
453
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,636
as opposed to some of
the more quieter stuff.
454
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:12,118
If I go open paragraph,
that's the loud stuff.
455
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:14,468
Great, can we go now?
456
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,471
You can go when I've sworn you
in as a member.
457
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:18,689
You're a member.
458
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,476
Yes, I, I'm a member, yes.
459
00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:24,391
- Yeah, we're all members.
- Yeah. Big one.
460
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,088
You're not a member yet till
I've sworn you in as a member,
461
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:28,047
but that's how it works
in this society.
462
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:30,179
All right?
463
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:36,968
[MARTIN SIGHS]
464
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,845
- Oh, my God, that looks amazing.
- I mean, why the fuck?
465
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,065
Rocket boots.
466
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,763
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
467
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:49,590
Um.
468
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,158
[FIRE EXTINGUISHER THUDDING]
469
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,247
Right, so Peter is
gonna show us his boots.
470
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,205
There is a pyrotechnical
element to his footwear,
471
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,685
so I think safety first.
472
00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,513
- That's one of my mantra.
- ALEX: Motto.
473
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,297
[MARTIN MURMURS]
474
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,386
So we're in
the science club now.
475
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:04,996
They took our details.
476
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,172
I fake numbered them.
477
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:07,869
- Oh, I gave 'em your number.
- Oh, what?
478
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,262
- I don't know my number.
- What's the point of that?
479
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:10,176
- I don't know my number.
- Hi, I'm just wondering.
480
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,612
- RUTH: Hi.
- MEGAN: Mr. Sheldrake, hi.
481
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:12,743
I'm wondering if I could come
over and inspect the machine.
482
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:13,701
MEGAN:
Oh, my God, yes. Anytime.
483
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:14,571
RUTH:
Amazing.
484
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,095
Give me, like--
485
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,618
RUTH:
Could I get your autograph?
Like, is that okay?
486
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:18,401
I know that's a bit
weird thing to say.
487
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,489
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
488
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,838
Come along, come along.
Gather around.
489
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,101
Nearly, ready.
490
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:25,104
[ROCKET BOOT REVVING]
491
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:26,583
[AIR WHOOSHING]
492
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,716
No, uh, no, no, no, no.
493
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:29,978
No, get off me.
494
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:30,805
- Get it off me.
- RUTH: Have you got a Meegs.
495
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,023
PETER:
Why no one helping me?
496
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,547
- Has anyone got a pen?
- PETER: It's not safe.
497
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:34,939
Get it off me.
498
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:35,810
No, no.
499
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:36,811
[WHISTLE TWEETING]
500
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,508
Valerie and I,
we met on the show,
501
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,467
and we thought it'd be fun
502
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,208
to share ideas
with like-minded people.
503
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,905
So we set up a club.
504
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:44,993
Then, one night,
505
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,255
- Martin shows up.
- PETER: Help me.
506
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:47,996
Before you know it,
he installs himself as,
507
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,041
as chairman.
508
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:53,262
Valerie blames herself
for losing control, yeah.
509
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,090
But Martin is unstoppable.
510
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,657
There appears to be
a slight fire.
511
00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:57,919
ALEX:
Point and relax.
512
00:18:58,049 --> 00:18:59,486
You realize you're very lucky.
513
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,314
Time travel is dangerous.
514
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:05,405
The entire universe is
held in thin strands of a--
515
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,320
Yeah, of course, of course.
516
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,234
It's hot.
517
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:09,148
[WHISTLE TWEETING]
518
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:13,152
[FIRE EXTINGUISHER HISSING]
519
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,327
Ralph gave us his autograph.
520
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,980
Look.
521
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:16,764
[LEAVES RUSTLING]
522
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:17,982
[ROCKET WHOOSHING]
523
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:18,896
MEGAN:
What does it say?
524
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,942
It says, it says
Ralph Sheldrake.
525
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,465
That's his name.
526
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,772
Oh, it says, it says time travel
is dangerous or something.
527
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,209
Something about--
528
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,820
- Danger.
- Danger.
529
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:33,302
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
530
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,261
TV REPORTER: [ON TV]
Two significant things have
changed since the beginning
531
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:36,175
of the month.
532
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,872
For starters, rain has arrived,
533
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,526
unusual for this time
of the year,
534
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,441
and we have seen some weird
535
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,878
in the cloud patterns
as of recently.
536
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:46,141
- Where have you been?
- MEGAN: Got dinner.
537
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,578
TV REPORTER: [ON TV]
Lower pressure circling London,
so do watch out
538
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:50,928
for those dark clouds
and those high winds
539
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:51,973
if you're planning on going out.
540
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:55,106
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
541
00:19:57,108 --> 00:20:00,199
[RAIN PATTERING
& THUNDER RUMBLING]
542
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,939
Where did you get that?
543
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,638
Well, I didn't get it from China
if that's what you mean.
544
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:08,859
Megan, Pat's Choi shut down
about three years ago.
545
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,644
They just don't make
it this tasty anymore.
546
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:11,993
[SIGHS]
547
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:12,994
I just don't think we should be
using the machine
548
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,039
to do this kinda thing anymore,
you know?
549
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,825
Like, I just keep thinking
about what Dr. Sheldrake said
550
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,392
and, like,
how it's really dangerous,
551
00:20:19,522 --> 00:20:20,871
and, like, what if that's
552
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:23,483
why I'm getting all these
headaches, and nosebleeds,
553
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,659
and, like, why I'm
being sick all the time.
554
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,617
Well, to be fair, you are
a bit of a hypochondriac.
555
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,663
I just feel like we
need to try and stop.
556
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,318
Well, where do you suggest
we find all of these, like,
557
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:35,973
authentic historical objects
d'art then?
558
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,716
We could go to charity
shops again or bin diving.
559
00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:40,630
Are you joking?
560
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,893
Well, but we did it before.
561
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,808
Like, you can't run
a vintage shop
562
00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:47,985
without a time machine
these days, Ruth.
563
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,596
RUTH:
The other day,
I went to the toilet,
564
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,119
and I did the weirdest poo,
like, almost had,
565
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,599
like, tones of blue in it.
566
00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:54,427
Like, I've never seen
anything like it.
567
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,864
I was gonna call you
and show you, but I don't know.
568
00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:58,300
All these things have
been happening to me.
569
00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,389
I kinda feel like
maybe it's related.
570
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,783
It's not something that
we've, we, we're, we're,
571
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,002
we're clued up about
and are scientists,
572
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:06,395
and they're telling us
to stop doing it.
573
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,179
So we need to stop doing it.
574
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,443
I don't wanna risk my
health for something, you know.
575
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:11,444
Mm. Yeah.
576
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:12,706
RUTH:
I wanna try a different way.
577
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,316
Sure, okay,
we'll do it your way.
578
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:16,144
Don't how that's gonna work out,
but yeah.
579
00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:22,542
So we'll just, we're not gonna
time travel anymore.
580
00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:25,458
MEGAN:
Yeah, we'll,
we'll find our stuff in bins.
581
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:26,894
RUTH:
Well, I just feel like
we could at least--
582
00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:28,852
I just don't wanna talk about
time travel anymore, okay?
583
00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:32,073
Okay, God.
584
00:21:33,204 --> 00:21:34,467
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
585
00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:37,818
Did you know that time
travel is actually possible?
586
00:21:37,948 --> 00:21:39,907
Did you know that, Botty?
587
00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:42,170
Yes, I did know that.
588
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:46,174
Well, that's because we
all travel forward in time.
589
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,089
Yeah, I even knew you were going
to say that.
590
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:50,961
And with us today is
Professor Valerie Lancaster.
591
00:21:51,832 --> 00:21:52,876
Hi, Valerie.
592
00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:54,138
Hi, Valerie.
593
00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:56,271
Welcome to "The Future, Today."
594
00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,229
- Hello, Ralph.
- Hello, Botty. I mean--
595
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,492
- RALPH: So Valerie--
- What, am I invisible or what?
596
00:21:59,622 --> 00:22:03,147
What can you tell us about
time travel in the real world?
597
00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:06,629
Amazingly enough,
calculations by physicists show
598
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,285
that we can travel backwards
in time as well as forwards.
599
00:22:10,416 --> 00:22:13,897
So, in theory,
you could make a time machine.
600
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:18,119
Unfortunately not,
this is all theoretical.
601
00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,860
Um, time travel
is completely impossible.
602
00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:20,817
RALPH:
Yes.
603
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:22,341
I mean, near a wormhole,
604
00:22:22,471 --> 00:22:25,126
all the laws of physics
are warped.
605
00:22:25,256 --> 00:22:27,433
Who are you to say
what's possible?
606
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:30,218
Well, if a time machine
had been invented,
607
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,133
then surely, time travellers
608
00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:34,309
from the future would've
come back to visit us.
609
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,310
[RALPH LAUGHING]
610
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,573
She's got you there.
611
00:22:37,704 --> 00:22:38,879
[VALERIE AND RALPH LAUGHING]
612
00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:40,228
[BOTTY LAUGHING]
613
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,577
- BOTTY: How's she got me?
- Yeah.
614
00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:43,492
Thank you for visiting, Valerie.
615
00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:45,494
BOTTY:
I said, how has she got me?
616
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:46,539
Thank you, Ralph.
617
00:22:46,669 --> 00:22:48,105
- Cheers
- And, uh--
618
00:22:48,236 --> 00:22:49,585
BOTTY:
I said, how's she got me?
619
00:22:49,716 --> 00:22:51,805
- Next, on "The Future, Today."
- BOTTY: How's she got me?
620
00:22:51,935 --> 00:22:53,067
RUTH:
No, no, that's not for sale.
621
00:22:53,197 --> 00:22:53,633
ELDERLY LADY:
I don't understand.
622
00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:54,938
No, but it's our,
623
00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:56,375
it's the Hoover that
we used to clean the shop.
624
00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:58,986
Ah, that's disappointing.
625
00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:01,336
This used to be
my favourite charity shop.
626
00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:04,034
[PAPER RUSTLING]
627
00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:05,514
Ah, fuck.
628
00:23:05,645 --> 00:23:06,689
What is it?
629
00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:08,691
- Final demand.
- Shit.
630
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:11,346
[PAPER RUSTLING]
631
00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:13,217
Final demand.
632
00:23:13,348 --> 00:23:14,436
Oh, fuck.
633
00:23:15,132 --> 00:23:16,656
- What is it?
- What do they want?
634
00:23:16,786 --> 00:23:19,354
[PLAYFUL MUSIC]
635
00:23:20,355 --> 00:23:21,965
Hi, everyone, I'm Max.
636
00:23:22,096 --> 00:23:24,011
Let me tell you about
my invention.
637
00:23:24,141 --> 00:23:25,969
I call it the resizer.
638
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,319
This was a chair.
639
00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,887
Invisibility is a,
is a, something
640
00:23:31,018 --> 00:23:33,716
that a lotta people could find
useful in their daily lives.
641
00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:35,631
You could listen in and find out
642
00:23:35,762 --> 00:23:37,111
what people honestly think
about you.
643
00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:39,113
[CLEARS THROAT]
644
00:23:39,243 --> 00:23:42,116
I call this the hat controller.
645
00:23:42,246 --> 00:23:44,335
It is designed to make
the wearer do things
646
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:45,467
that they don't want to do.
647
00:23:47,121 --> 00:23:48,557
Would you like to have a go?
648
00:23:48,688 --> 00:23:50,994
It's a dream recorder.
649
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,170
And now, we should be recording.
650
00:23:53,301 --> 00:23:54,302
Oh, hang on.
651
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,173
[COMPUTER RASPING]
652
00:24:01,657 --> 00:24:03,616
ALEX:
I'm over here,
but you can't see me.
653
00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,835
I'm throwing my voice so
you don't know where I am.
654
00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:08,751
Is I can use it to communicate
with fish.
655
00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:10,492
A robot dentist.
656
00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:12,102
Now, you don't wanna check
the fridge,
657
00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:13,016
and you want to see if there's
658
00:24:13,147 --> 00:24:14,888
something gone off
in the fridge.
659
00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:17,368
It is, it's obviously,
um, whoops.
660
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:18,848
[LAUGHS]
661
00:24:18,979 --> 00:24:21,460
It's in its teething stages,
you know, really. [LAUGHS]
662
00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:23,766
- Um.
- Point, push the button.
663
00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,944
Point, push the button,
very simple.
664
00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:29,772
It's just not working.
665
00:24:29,903 --> 00:24:30,730
Max is here.
666
00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:32,949
Get rid of him, charlatan.
667
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:35,996
ALEX:
You're not in the club anymore.
You're not a member.
668
00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:38,477
- We're just gonna--
- Really, I'm telling the truth.
669
00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:42,176
Clear the, the sofa,
obviously, a doll's house.
670
00:24:44,787 --> 00:24:45,396
RUTH:
There's a, there's a--
671
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:46,876
[MEGAN GASPS]
672
00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:49,923
[INAUDIBLE]
673
00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:52,099
[LID CLATTERING]
674
00:24:52,229 --> 00:24:55,058
We're going through the
bins trying to find stock.
675
00:24:55,189 --> 00:24:57,496
Trying to find things
that we can sell.
676
00:24:57,626 --> 00:24:58,758
Mm.
677
00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:01,674
Oh, look, Meegs,
that's quite nice.
678
00:25:01,804 --> 00:25:02,805
Is that Royal Doulton?
679
00:25:02,936 --> 00:25:04,198
[TEAPOT CLINKING]
680
00:25:04,328 --> 00:25:06,243
- Put a plant in it.
- Put a plant in it.
681
00:25:06,374 --> 00:25:08,289
That's nice for kids,
though, to do something plain,
682
00:25:08,419 --> 00:25:09,595
and they can write their name
on it or--
683
00:25:09,725 --> 00:25:11,945
- MEGAN: Mm, mm.
- But that's quite nice.
684
00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:13,686
Um, I mean, it's not ideal,
to be honest.
685
00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:15,078
- It's not really what--
- It's shit, Ruth.
686
00:25:15,209 --> 00:25:17,167
It's not really what we wanna
be doing.
687
00:25:17,298 --> 00:25:19,256
- But it's a way to--
- Shit.
688
00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:20,736
It's a way to make ends meet.
689
00:25:20,867 --> 00:25:24,305
I don't really,
we can't use the machine, so.
690
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,438
[INDISTINCT SPEECH]
691
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,397
- I could tape it there.
- MEGAN: Yeah.
692
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,268
I don't think I could actually
do that 'cause it's got,
693
00:25:31,399 --> 00:25:34,097
in my mind, these very
much go together as a pair.
694
00:25:34,228 --> 00:25:35,577
Ruth, found the other shoe.
695
00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:36,839
MEGAN:
Oh, brilliant, that's great.
696
00:25:36,970 --> 00:25:38,275
They're actually really nice.
697
00:25:38,406 --> 00:25:41,627
No laces,
but here's the other one.
698
00:25:41,757 --> 00:25:43,846
That just needs a new wire
and a bulb,
699
00:25:43,977 --> 00:25:46,109
and, uh, maybe take the rust.
700
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,458
- RUTH: So--
- Look at that.
701
00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:49,983
That's a bottle of piss.
702
00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:51,462
We've done quite well today.
703
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,682
- MEGAN: We've done really well.
- What'd you get?
704
00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:55,118
[ITEMS CLATTERING]
705
00:25:55,249 --> 00:25:56,424
Oh, shit.
706
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,512
RUTH:
Well.
707
00:25:57,643 --> 00:25:58,557
MEGAN:
Just, just leave the tea pot.
708
00:25:58,687 --> 00:25:59,558
Leave the tea pot.
709
00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:01,255
[ITEMS CLATTERING]
710
00:26:01,385 --> 00:26:03,213
RUTH:
I don't know.
I think you can still fix it.
711
00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:05,999
- RUTH: Oh, there's a poo there.
- MEGAN: Oh, no.
712
00:26:06,129 --> 00:26:09,176
RUTH:
That's a,
that is not a dog poo either.
713
00:26:10,786 --> 00:26:13,572
I mean, genuine
vintage toy that, um.
714
00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:16,313
What about this vintage grill?
715
00:26:18,054 --> 00:26:19,534
[FLIES BUZZING]
716
00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:26,106
It's got, um, beautiful patina,
um, and airflow control and,
717
00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:30,676
oh, my God,
there goes another customer.
718
00:26:30,806 --> 00:26:33,026
[GENTLE MUSIC]
719
00:26:33,156 --> 00:26:34,288
[BELL RINGING]
720
00:26:34,418 --> 00:26:35,942
PETER:
These are my predicto goggles.
721
00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:38,597
They allow the wearer
to see about a minute
722
00:26:38,727 --> 00:26:40,511
into the future, give or take.
723
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:44,167
Um, maybe I could have
a volunteer to help me.
724
00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:46,909
Anyone, anyone?
725
00:26:48,694 --> 00:26:49,782
Any volunteers?
726
00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:52,436
Anyone at all?
727
00:26:54,264 --> 00:26:57,050
Yes, please, Ruth, up you come.
728
00:26:57,180 --> 00:26:58,704
Up you pop, Ruth.
729
00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,227
Fuck's sake.
730
00:27:00,357 --> 00:27:02,751
My lovely, glamorous assistant
will put these on.
731
00:27:02,882 --> 00:27:03,926
Yeah, you're putting them on.
732
00:27:04,057 --> 00:27:04,971
There you go.
733
00:27:05,101 --> 00:27:06,625
What can you see, Ruth?
734
00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:07,538
Whoa.
735
00:27:10,759 --> 00:27:13,109
I don't really see the point
of these, to be honest.
736
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,284
What, what's, what am I
supposed to be looking at?
737
00:27:14,415 --> 00:27:16,765
It's just all the same.
738
00:27:16,896 --> 00:27:19,246
Oh, you're holding your face.
739
00:27:19,376 --> 00:27:20,595
Are they frozen?
740
00:27:20,726 --> 00:27:21,640
- PETER: Actually--
- I think they're broken.
741
00:27:21,770 --> 00:27:22,728
PETER:
They must have gone wrong.
742
00:27:22,858 --> 00:27:23,380
- Now, give it--
- I think they're working.
743
00:27:23,511 --> 00:27:25,121
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
744
00:27:25,252 --> 00:27:27,123
PETER:
Look, look, you
just need to turn it off.
745
00:27:27,254 --> 00:27:28,472
Turn it back on again, okay?
746
00:27:28,603 --> 00:27:30,126
Peter, I'm looking at them.
747
00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:31,824
You don't, they're my goggles.
748
00:27:31,954 --> 00:27:32,738
- Why have you got--
- Give me back my--
749
00:27:32,868 --> 00:27:33,782
What's that weird thing
on the top?
750
00:27:33,913 --> 00:27:35,218
PETER:
Give me back
my predicto goggles.
751
00:27:35,349 --> 00:27:37,656
Don't snatch.
752
00:27:41,921 --> 00:27:43,923
Oh, they're good.
753
00:27:44,053 --> 00:27:45,011
no, they're good.
754
00:27:48,231 --> 00:27:49,406
They actually work.
755
00:27:49,537 --> 00:27:51,757
[GENTLE MUSIC]
756
00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:56,370
Bill, bill, oh,
this one's from Rick.
757
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:57,850
RICK:
Dear Ruth and Megan.
758
00:27:57,980 --> 00:27:59,025
Megan.
759
00:27:59,155 --> 00:28:00,417
RICK:
It has come to my attention
760
00:28:00,548 --> 00:28:02,550
that your rent
is seriously overdue.
761
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,030
RUTH:
Shit.
762
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,771
RICK:
But I've had an idea.
763
00:28:05,901 --> 00:28:07,990
I thought, "Why don't I cut Ruth
and Megan some slack
764
00:28:08,121 --> 00:28:09,209
on their rent?
765
00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:11,254
Because they're good
girls and I like 'em."
766
00:28:11,385 --> 00:28:12,299
- Oh, that's nice.
- Really?
767
00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:13,735
Well, that's good.
768
00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:15,258
RICK:
But then I thought,
769
00:28:15,389 --> 00:28:16,042
"Fuck that."
770
00:28:16,172 --> 00:28:17,565
[RUTH AND MEGAN GASPING]
771
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:18,697
[LAUGHING]
772
00:28:18,827 --> 00:28:20,089
That was really weird.
773
00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:21,351
I want my rent.
774
00:28:21,482 --> 00:28:23,179
We, we're gonna get it to you
as soon as we can.
775
00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:25,225
We've just had to change up our
business model a bit because--
776
00:28:25,355 --> 00:28:26,661
Yeah, yeah, I don't care.
777
00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:28,315
If you don't pay by the end
of the month, you're both out.
778
00:28:28,445 --> 00:28:29,925
Oh, no, Rick, please,
we will get it to you.
779
00:28:30,056 --> 00:28:32,188
It is the law.
780
00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:35,235
In fact, if you fuck up again,
you'd be doing me a favour.
781
00:28:35,365 --> 00:28:37,454
So fuck away, you fuckwits.
782
00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:38,804
Oh, say hi to Megan for me.
783
00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:41,545
- Megan, she's here.
- RICK: Ciao, ciao.
784
00:28:42,895 --> 00:28:44,635
Guess your business model
doesn't work.
785
00:28:46,072 --> 00:28:47,508
RUTH:
Oh, it's awful.
786
00:28:47,638 --> 00:28:56,560
[♪]
787
00:28:58,345 --> 00:29:00,303
[TOOL CLANKING]
788
00:29:02,523 --> 00:29:04,699
In this structure,
the vice chair is
789
00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:07,397
right adjacent to the chairman,
whereas in this structure
790
00:29:07,528 --> 00:29:11,837
that I prefer, all the other
positions are, in fact,
791
00:29:11,967 --> 00:29:16,406
subordinate to, uh, me or the,
the, the chairman,
792
00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:21,542
which I think is a much more
manageable system, don't you?
793
00:29:21,672 --> 00:29:23,196
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
794
00:29:23,326 --> 00:29:28,157
[GUNSHOTS BLASTING]
795
00:29:32,248 --> 00:29:32,727
SOLDIER:
Fire.
796
00:29:32,858 --> 00:29:33,641
[GUNSHOTS BLASTING]
797
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:34,555
Oh.
798
00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:36,775
[AIR WHOOSHING]
799
00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:37,993
You have some new stock
in there?
800
00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:38,951
- RUTH: Yep.
- MEGAN: Yep.
801
00:29:39,081 --> 00:29:40,039
Uh, I hope that's not
from the past.
802
00:29:40,169 --> 00:29:40,909
We got some stuff
when we were doing--
803
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,084
MEGAN:
Everything's from past.
804
00:29:42,215 --> 00:29:43,390
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
805
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,044
- Okay, well, that's not--
- MEGAN: Idiot.
806
00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:48,177
- Where's that chair from?
- MEGAN: Oh, my God.
807
00:29:48,308 --> 00:29:51,702
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
808
00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:56,011
[MACHINES WHIRRING]
809
00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:01,625
RUTH:
Let's see what's in here,
oh, jackpot.
810
00:30:01,756 --> 00:30:04,324
Who was looking for Bermudas?
811
00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:07,370
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
812
00:30:07,501 --> 00:30:09,285
- RUTH: Genuine '80s.
- Yeah.
813
00:30:12,158 --> 00:30:15,901
I also would like to suggest
that the current two-year tenure
814
00:30:16,031 --> 00:30:18,773
for a chairman should be
increased to three years.
815
00:30:18,904 --> 00:30:20,427
Why not five?
816
00:30:21,645 --> 00:30:23,560
[LAUGHS]
Well, very good idea.
817
00:30:23,691 --> 00:30:24,735
Have a mint.
818
00:30:24,866 --> 00:30:26,215
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
819
00:30:26,346 --> 00:30:27,521
Hmm.
820
00:30:29,784 --> 00:30:31,394
Meegs.
821
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:33,483
[RADIO STATIC]
822
00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:34,528
Meegs.
823
00:30:35,442 --> 00:30:37,270
Meegs, come in.
824
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,837
I've go other eggs. Run.
825
00:30:38,967 --> 00:30:42,536
[DINOSAUR ROARING]
826
00:30:42,666 --> 00:30:43,842
[FEET THUDDING]
827
00:30:45,234 --> 00:30:50,065
[DINOSAUR ROARING]
828
00:30:52,372 --> 00:30:53,808
MEG:
You know, I'm just glad
I got them back in one piece.
829
00:30:53,939 --> 00:30:56,550
If these hatch,
I don't know you.
830
00:30:58,204 --> 00:31:01,076
VALERIE: [ON TV]
Einstein's equations allow
for things called wormholes.
831
00:31:01,207 --> 00:31:04,950
Uh, if you have a wormhole,
you can enter in at the mouth,
832
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,388
travel through, and then
exit out at, at the other end
833
00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:10,259
at an earlier point in time.
834
00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:11,957
Does that make sense, Ralph?
835
00:31:12,087 --> 00:31:14,481
- Do you want some macaroni?
- MEGAN: Hmm?
836
00:31:14,611 --> 00:31:17,353
- Do you want some macaroni?
- MEGAN: Mm.
837
00:31:17,484 --> 00:31:19,442
Goodbye, Ian, take care.
838
00:31:21,227 --> 00:31:21,792
Right.
839
00:31:23,751 --> 00:31:26,710
Well, that's strange
for this time of year.
840
00:31:26,841 --> 00:31:30,714
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
841
00:31:30,845 --> 00:31:31,715
[UMBRELLA RUSTLING]
842
00:31:31,846 --> 00:31:35,415
[SCOOTER WHIRRING]
843
00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:37,939
Ruth, it's the pub quiz tonight
if you fancy popping along.
844
00:31:38,070 --> 00:31:40,289
- MEGAN: Come on, Ruth, come on.
- Um.
845
00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:42,248
Probably just gonna have
an early one, to be honest.
846
00:31:42,378 --> 00:31:43,989
Oh, next Thursday?
847
00:31:44,119 --> 00:31:46,165
Next Thursday maybe?
848
00:31:46,295 --> 00:31:48,036
Every Thursday, Ruth.
849
00:31:49,124 --> 00:31:51,474
Ruth, every Thursday.
850
00:31:51,605 --> 00:31:54,042
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
851
00:31:54,173 --> 00:31:55,261
- MEGAN: Hi.
- RUTH: Hi.
852
00:31:56,523 --> 00:31:59,134
Can we, can we have
a quick look around?
853
00:31:59,265 --> 00:32:00,396
- All right?
- Look, look?
854
00:32:00,527 --> 00:32:01,789
Yeah, looks like a hog.
855
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,661
But it's a bit broken. Can
we, can we have a look at it?
856
00:32:04,792 --> 00:32:06,054
Yeah, no, they don't
really have many possessions,
857
00:32:06,185 --> 00:32:09,449
these people, um,
which seems like a
858
00:32:09,579 --> 00:32:11,712
sort of silly move
to come this far.
859
00:32:11,842 --> 00:32:14,628
But it's just, we just,
you know,
860
00:32:14,758 --> 00:32:17,326
it's good to realize
how far we've come.
861
00:32:17,457 --> 00:32:19,459
[COUGHING]
862
00:32:21,722 --> 00:32:23,376
RUTH:
He just coughed in my mouth.
863
00:32:23,506 --> 00:32:25,987
- CAVEMAN: Ruth, Megan.
- Other way around.
864
00:32:26,118 --> 00:32:27,554
Ruth, Megan.
865
00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:28,685
Ruth.
866
00:32:28,816 --> 00:32:30,557
Just say yes.
It's not even worth it.
867
00:32:30,687 --> 00:32:32,254
Yeah, I think
that's really sellable.
868
00:32:32,385 --> 00:32:33,908
Can we have this?
869
00:32:34,039 --> 00:32:35,344
- TRACY: I'm very excited?
- Oh.
870
00:32:35,475 --> 00:32:37,694
TRACY:
Just you wait.
There'll be a boom.
871
00:32:37,825 --> 00:32:38,478
- TRACY: Amazing.
- Thank you so much.
872
00:32:38,608 --> 00:32:40,262
- Bye, Tracy.
- See you soon.
873
00:32:40,393 --> 00:32:43,396
[MILITARY DRUM MUSIC]
874
00:32:43,526 --> 00:32:45,311
[EXPLOSION BLASTING]
875
00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:52,840
[ADVENTUROUS MUSIC]
876
00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:58,715
[VOMIT SPLATTERING]
877
00:33:05,766 --> 00:33:06,593
[ADVENTUROUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
878
00:33:16,081 --> 00:33:18,518
What is the universe made of?
879
00:33:18,648 --> 00:33:20,607
We can't be sure, but we do know
880
00:33:20,737 --> 00:33:24,002
it's all held together
in perfect equilibrium.
881
00:33:29,094 --> 00:33:32,184
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
882
00:33:35,709 --> 00:33:38,190
So we've, uh,
had a bit of an incident.
883
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:39,495
RUTH:
Yeah, there was this thing.
884
00:33:39,626 --> 00:33:40,322
Shh.
885
00:33:41,932 --> 00:33:43,978
I don't know what it is,
but it's scary.
886
00:33:45,849 --> 00:33:48,156
She was pissing around with
things she knows nothing about,
887
00:33:49,636 --> 00:33:51,072
and now she's a kid.
888
00:33:52,421 --> 00:33:54,075
Teenager, actually.
889
00:33:54,206 --> 00:33:56,034
Come on, what the?
890
00:33:56,164 --> 00:34:00,342
This thing just opened up,
and something came out,
891
00:34:00,473 --> 00:34:01,430
and it, it grabbed me.
892
00:34:01,561 --> 00:34:03,171
[SCREAMING]
893
00:34:03,302 --> 00:34:03,954
Geez.
894
00:34:05,217 --> 00:34:06,044
MEGAN:
Uh.
895
00:34:07,871 --> 00:34:10,352
RUTH:
And the next thing you know,
I'm young again.
896
00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:13,181
My hair is just so much
silkier than before,
897
00:34:14,139 --> 00:34:15,575
my skin so smooth.
898
00:34:16,837 --> 00:34:18,404
My life is so much better now.
899
00:34:18,534 --> 00:34:21,363
I have no responsibilities.
900
00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:22,712
Wow, slow down.
901
00:34:24,149 --> 00:34:26,194
Uh, can you just sit down?
902
00:34:28,153 --> 00:34:30,068
She just can't sit still.
903
00:34:33,158 --> 00:34:36,074
CUSTOMER:
Excuse me. Excuse me.
904
00:34:36,204 --> 00:34:37,510
How much is this?
905
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:38,815
I don't care.
906
00:34:39,599 --> 00:34:42,080
[♪]
907
00:34:44,821 --> 00:34:46,214
This place is so boring.
908
00:34:46,997 --> 00:34:48,216
That's why I gotta change up
the shop a bit.
909
00:34:48,347 --> 00:34:50,088
- So?
- Yeah?
910
00:34:50,218 --> 00:34:52,307
- You like it?
- Oh, that looks great.
911
00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:54,614
RUTH:
You know,
get rid of the old farts.
912
00:34:54,744 --> 00:34:56,659
Oh, I like this jacket.
913
00:34:56,790 --> 00:34:57,921
CUSTOMER:
I'm in a band, so it kind of--
914
00:34:58,052 --> 00:34:59,532
- RUTH: You're in a band?
- Uh-Huh.
915
00:34:59,662 --> 00:35:01,142
Wow, I can sing, you know.
916
00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:02,622
How long have you been
working here anyway?
917
00:35:02,752 --> 00:35:05,668
Um, about 20 years.
918
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:07,540
20?
919
00:35:07,670 --> 00:35:09,019
School, I'm smashing it,
920
00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:11,152
working a bit harder this
time round, you know.
921
00:35:11,283 --> 00:35:13,285
Not everyone gets
a second chance.
922
00:35:13,415 --> 00:35:14,764
Keeps having friends round.
923
00:35:14,895 --> 00:35:18,377
Like, uh, this isn't,
like, a party hangout.
924
00:35:18,507 --> 00:35:19,943
Uh, it's ridiculous.
925
00:35:21,815 --> 00:35:23,904
Yeah, meet at the bench,
dude, yeah,
926
00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:26,211
then swing over to the swings.
927
00:35:26,341 --> 00:35:28,126
So it's changed
the dynamic completely.
928
00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:32,086
Um, it's not the Ruth
I'm used to, you know.
929
00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:35,002
Uh, okay,
I've gotta go to work now.
930
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,308
[RUTH GRUNTS]
931
00:35:36,438 --> 00:35:37,483
Just don't feel like
her heart's in it anymore.
932
00:35:37,613 --> 00:35:39,702
Thinking about getting
out of here anyway.
933
00:35:39,833 --> 00:35:41,226
That suits you.
934
00:35:41,356 --> 00:35:42,140
Do you really think?
935
00:35:42,270 --> 00:35:43,793
Yeah, it brings out the eyes.
936
00:35:43,924 --> 00:35:45,447
Yeah, my girlfriend's really
gonna like me wearing this,
937
00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:46,622
I reckon.
938
00:35:46,753 --> 00:35:48,798
- RUTH: Who?
- My girlfriend, yeah.
939
00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:51,018
CUSTOMER:
Like, I dunno, dinner.
940
00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:52,585
Megan get this loser
out of here.
941
00:35:55,370 --> 00:35:57,416
The music's really
starting to get to me.
942
00:35:57,546 --> 00:35:59,940
Um, I mean, you just
943
00:36:01,463 --> 00:36:02,725
just reach this point
944
00:36:02,856 --> 00:36:05,075
where you just can't listen
to that shit anymore.
945
00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:07,295
[MELLOW MUSIC]
946
00:36:07,426 --> 00:36:10,298
It's been a difficult transition
for the both of us, really.
947
00:36:10,429 --> 00:36:14,824
I didn't ask for this to happen,
but I love the new me.
948
00:36:14,955 --> 00:36:16,435
Or is it the old me?
949
00:36:17,740 --> 00:36:18,567
The young me.
950
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:22,005
Megan does need to chill, though.
951
00:36:22,136 --> 00:36:26,619
She's getting a couple of grey
hairs, more than a couple.
952
00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:28,577
She tried to get involved
in my sleepover.
953
00:36:28,708 --> 00:36:30,492
I mean, but none of the
other mums were there.
954
00:36:30,623 --> 00:36:32,146
Take the suit off.
955
00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:36,194
MEGAN:
I can't remember being such
a douchebag when I was a kid.
956
00:36:36,324 --> 00:36:37,673
Kids are different today.
957
00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:44,289
[ENERGY PULSATING]
958
00:36:44,419 --> 00:36:47,466
Ow, oh, ooh, ah, mm.
959
00:36:47,596 --> 00:36:49,859
[CREATURE GROWLING]
960
00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,252
RUTH:
What are you doing?
961
00:36:51,383 --> 00:36:51,992
Nothing.
962
00:36:53,428 --> 00:36:55,387
Trying to get young like me,
aren't you? [LAUGHS]
963
00:36:55,517 --> 00:36:58,390
You know what?
Go clean up that mess you made.
964
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,087
And take that makeup off.
You look ridiculous.
965
00:37:03,133 --> 00:37:05,832
[STAPLE GUN CLANKING]
966
00:37:05,962 --> 00:37:09,444
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
967
00:37:09,575 --> 00:37:10,402
What?
968
00:37:10,532 --> 00:37:11,620
RUTH:
Did you pay the rent?
969
00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:13,274
Ciao, ciao.
970
00:37:13,405 --> 00:37:14,232
[IMITATES GUNSHOT BLASTING]
971
00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:16,712
- Ruth, that's your job.
- No, I'm 16.
972
00:37:16,843 --> 00:37:18,584
It's definitely your job.
973
00:37:18,714 --> 00:37:19,846
We pay the rent first
of the month.
974
00:37:19,976 --> 00:37:21,239
It's in the calendar.
975
00:37:21,369 --> 00:37:23,589
- Calendar?
- Look, there.
976
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,025
And these are all my dates.
977
00:37:25,155 --> 00:37:27,201
I've literally never seen
this before.
978
00:37:27,332 --> 00:37:28,463
We need to sort this out.
979
00:37:28,594 --> 00:37:30,248
No, Meegs, I've got
bigger problems than this.
980
00:37:30,378 --> 00:37:31,423
What?
981
00:37:31,553 --> 00:37:33,729
Hello,
book exams mean anything to you?
982
00:37:33,860 --> 00:37:35,209
What are you on about?
983
00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:36,950
If I don't get good grades,
what kind of future
984
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,038
am I gonna have?
985
00:37:38,168 --> 00:37:39,431
Uh, this is your future.
986
00:37:39,561 --> 00:37:41,520
This is your shop.
987
00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:44,392
Nah, Meegs, this is your future,
your shop, your landlord,
988
00:37:44,523 --> 00:37:45,828
your bills.
989
00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:47,395
I haven't got to deal with
all the crap, not anymore.
990
00:37:47,526 --> 00:37:49,484
If you don't like your life,
you can't just start over.
991
00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:51,573
You said it yourself.
The customers love you.
992
00:37:51,704 --> 00:37:54,097
Oh, my God, your need to
be liked is so pathetic.
993
00:37:54,228 --> 00:37:55,360
You're just a jealous old hag
994
00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:56,709
who can't even use
a credit card machine.
995
00:37:56,839 --> 00:37:58,406
You're a bratty teenager,
and you're gonna get
996
00:37:58,537 --> 00:38:00,234
the same shit marks you
got the first time around.
997
00:38:00,365 --> 00:38:02,454
You're useless. I'm
better off without you.
998
00:38:02,584 --> 00:38:03,716
I'm going for a walk.
999
00:38:03,846 --> 00:38:05,021
No, I have to go meet
my friends at the park.
1000
00:38:05,152 --> 00:38:07,981
So desperate,
trying to be all street.
1001
00:38:08,111 --> 00:38:09,896
Pay the rent and watch the shop.
1002
00:38:10,026 --> 00:38:10,897
Not my problem.
1003
00:38:11,027 --> 00:38:12,202
Go upstairs,
and do your paperwork.
1004
00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:13,421
You're not my mother.
1005
00:38:13,552 --> 00:38:15,815
[ELECTRIC SPARKS]
1006
00:38:15,945 --> 00:38:18,905
[EXPLOSION BLASTING]
1007
00:38:21,429 --> 00:38:24,040
[BURP ERUPTING]
1008
00:38:25,172 --> 00:38:27,914
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1009
00:38:29,045 --> 00:38:31,961
[DINOSAURS SCREECHING]
1010
00:38:34,573 --> 00:38:36,052
[RUTH GRUNTS]
1011
00:38:36,183 --> 00:38:39,404
[GLASS CRACKING]
1012
00:38:42,145 --> 00:38:42,929
Meegs.
1013
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:47,020
[DOOR SQUEAKING]
1014
00:38:48,108 --> 00:38:50,632
Oh, yeah, cool, just leave then.
1015
00:38:53,635 --> 00:38:56,290
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
1016
00:38:58,510 --> 00:38:59,293
Fuck, no.
1017
00:39:04,559 --> 00:39:05,386
Oh, my back.
1018
00:39:08,781 --> 00:39:11,653
[♪]
1019
00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:14,308
Yo, yo, yo,
it's little Babe Ruth.
1020
00:39:14,439 --> 00:39:15,396
Yeah, it is Ruth.
1021
00:39:15,527 --> 00:39:16,179
[SPRING SQUEAKING]
1022
00:39:16,310 --> 00:39:17,311
Yeah, what are you doing?
1023
00:39:17,442 --> 00:39:18,399
I thought we were gonna meet
at the park.
1024
00:39:18,530 --> 00:39:20,401
I've been waiting for,
like, half an hour.
1025
00:39:20,532 --> 00:39:21,315
Oh, yeah?
1026
00:39:24,927 --> 00:39:26,625
Yeah, man, it's wicked.
They're so fun.
1027
00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:29,367
Like, they're so, like,
it's much nicer hanging out
1028
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:31,760
with people, like, your own
age because you just, like,
1029
00:39:31,891 --> 00:39:36,504
you, I don't know, like, just
got a lot of energy and...
1030
00:39:36,635 --> 00:39:37,505
Who's party?
1031
00:39:39,638 --> 00:39:40,900
Oh, okay.
1032
00:39:41,030 --> 00:39:42,684
Yeah, no,
I didn't get invited either.
1033
00:39:42,815 --> 00:39:44,294
Fuck that, yeah.
1034
00:39:44,425 --> 00:39:45,295
Oh, are you?
1035
00:39:46,514 --> 00:39:47,385
Oh, okay.
1036
00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:52,564
Do you think maybe, like,
I can come with you or?
1037
00:39:52,694 --> 00:39:53,913
Why is it creepy?
1038
00:39:55,175 --> 00:39:56,655
I just didn't quite get it
together today.
1039
00:39:56,785 --> 00:39:59,179
Like, I thought
they went one place.
1040
00:39:59,309 --> 00:40:00,180
They thought
I went somewhere else.
1041
00:40:00,310 --> 00:40:01,137
It's, like, it's fine.
1042
00:40:01,268 --> 00:40:01,921
It doesn't really matter anyway.
1043
00:40:02,051 --> 00:40:03,401
It's not like,
1044
00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:09,189
[METAL CLATTERING]
1045
00:40:13,149 --> 00:40:15,151
I don't even think Amber's a
very nice person, to be honest.
1046
00:40:15,282 --> 00:40:17,545
I think she's actually
quite a bitch.
1047
00:40:17,676 --> 00:40:18,677
Ella.
1048
00:40:18,807 --> 00:40:19,547
Ella.
1049
00:40:24,552 --> 00:40:25,771
[BOTTLE THUDDING]
1050
00:40:25,901 --> 00:40:27,773
Why they just didn't
even let me know.
1051
00:40:27,903 --> 00:40:31,298
It's kind of, like, uh what's
the point in having phone.
1052
00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:40,307
[♪]
1053
00:40:47,793 --> 00:40:50,622
RUTH:
This is our store room
where we keep everything.
1054
00:40:50,752 --> 00:40:54,147
Unfortunately, there's quite
a complicated system in place,
1055
00:40:54,277 --> 00:40:55,540
which only Megan seems to know.
1056
00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:56,715
[STATIC HISSING]
1057
00:40:56,845 --> 00:40:57,629
Meegs?
1058
00:40:58,847 --> 00:41:00,936
Meegs, is that you?
1059
00:41:01,067 --> 00:41:02,808
Meegs, if you are there,
Mr. Dixon came in today.
1060
00:41:02,938 --> 00:41:05,767
He was asking about
that wooden bear.
1061
00:41:09,945 --> 00:41:10,685
Oh, wait, I found it.
1062
00:41:10,816 --> 00:41:15,168
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
1063
00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:19,085
There's a lot of stuff.
1064
00:41:19,215 --> 00:41:21,130
That's 1812, that is.
1065
00:41:21,261 --> 00:41:22,915
That's really valuable.
1066
00:41:23,045 --> 00:41:24,394
I should put that
somewhere safe.
1067
00:41:26,571 --> 00:41:29,051
Uh, my favourite item,
1068
00:41:31,663 --> 00:41:33,142
I guess this.
1069
00:41:33,273 --> 00:41:35,667
I've got this. Can you see that?
1070
00:41:35,797 --> 00:41:36,885
Just reminds me of Megan.
1071
00:41:42,891 --> 00:41:45,894
- Sign here, here, and here.
- I don't understand.
1072
00:41:46,025 --> 00:41:47,983
Finally getting rid. Where's
Megan? She out in back there?
1073
00:41:48,114 --> 00:41:49,158
I don't know where she is.
1074
00:41:49,289 --> 00:41:51,813
In ya come, Dave.
1075
00:41:51,944 --> 00:41:55,904
Yeah, there you go. That's
it, all signed, close enough.
1076
00:41:56,035 --> 00:41:57,819
Oh, I don't like
the look of that.
1077
00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:00,256
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1078
00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:02,302
That's coming out your deposit.
1079
00:42:02,432 --> 00:42:05,784
[♪]
1080
00:42:08,090 --> 00:42:09,875
[PLATES CLINKING]
1081
00:42:10,005 --> 00:42:14,140
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1082
00:42:14,270 --> 00:42:17,056
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1083
00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:18,971
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1084
00:42:19,101 --> 00:42:21,147
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1085
00:42:26,761 --> 00:42:28,154
[SIGHS]
1086
00:42:28,284 --> 00:42:33,159
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1087
00:42:34,116 --> 00:42:36,292
Have I seen that? Seen it.
1088
00:42:37,511 --> 00:42:38,294
Unreason.
1089
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,559
[TAPE CLATTERING]
1090
00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:42,995
RALPH:
Is it rolling?
1091
00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:44,736
ROBERT:
It's rolling.
1092
00:42:44,866 --> 00:42:46,651
Uh, after initial trials,
1093
00:42:46,781 --> 00:42:48,478
Robert and I think
the machine is ready
1094
00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:50,916
for its first human test.
1095
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:53,266
[RALPH GRUNTS]
1096
00:42:53,396 --> 00:42:54,180
Come on.
1097
00:42:57,531 --> 00:43:00,969
[ROBERT GRUNTING]
1098
00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:02,884
ROBERT:
Right, ready?
1099
00:43:03,929 --> 00:43:04,799
Here we go.
1100
00:43:04,930 --> 00:43:05,800
ROBERT:
Okay.
1101
00:43:05,931 --> 00:43:07,323
[STATIC HISSING]
1102
00:43:07,454 --> 00:43:08,847
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1103
00:43:08,977 --> 00:43:11,458
Hope this is recording.
1104
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:12,807
I don't know what happened.
1105
00:43:12,938 --> 00:43:15,418
Uh, the power cut halfway
through the jump.
1106
00:43:15,549 --> 00:43:17,899
ROBERT:
Okay.
1107
00:43:18,030 --> 00:43:19,640
RALPH:
Oh, air's breathable.
1108
00:43:21,294 --> 00:43:22,774
Ground seems stable.
1109
00:43:24,819 --> 00:43:28,301
ROBERT:
Yeah, I, hang on what?
What's that over there I heard?
1110
00:43:28,431 --> 00:43:30,695
[♪]
1111
00:43:30,825 --> 00:43:32,392
[STATIC HISSING]
1112
00:43:32,522 --> 00:43:35,656
ROBERT:
Look, I'm, I'm, I'm
sure I heard something.
1113
00:43:37,353 --> 00:43:38,920
Ah, what's that?
1114
00:43:39,051 --> 00:43:39,791
[RUTH SCREAMS]
1115
00:43:39,921 --> 00:43:40,792
ROBERT:
Eight legs!
1116
00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:45,579
[RALPH SCREAMING]
1117
00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:46,711
ROBERT:
It's got a beak.
1118
00:43:46,841 --> 00:43:47,929
[STATIC HISSING]
1119
00:43:48,060 --> 00:43:50,018
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1120
00:43:55,067 --> 00:43:58,418
[♪]
1121
00:43:58,548 --> 00:43:59,898
Meegs, I'm sorry.
1122
00:44:01,900 --> 00:44:03,553
[RUTH SCREAMING]
1123
00:44:03,684 --> 00:44:05,207
[ELECTRONIC WHIRRING
AND THUDDING]
1124
00:44:06,731 --> 00:44:08,080
Where, where are you?
1125
00:44:08,210 --> 00:44:09,995
- Gonna do time in time jail.
- Time jail.
1126
00:44:10,125 --> 00:44:10,648
Meegs
1127
00:44:12,301 --> 00:44:13,868
[RUTH SCREAMING]
1128
00:44:13,999 --> 00:44:15,696
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1129
00:44:15,827 --> 00:44:17,655
[STATIC HISSING]
1130
00:44:19,569 --> 00:44:22,485
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1131
00:44:22,616 --> 00:44:24,531
[CREATURE GROWLING]
1132
00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:30,972
MEGAN: [OVER RADIO]
Ruth?!
1133
00:44:31,103 --> 00:44:32,060
Meegs.
1134
00:44:32,191 --> 00:44:35,368
[♪]
1135
00:44:35,498 --> 00:44:37,022
Megan.
1136
00:44:37,152 --> 00:44:39,111
MEGAN: [OVER RADIO]
Ruth, help.
1137
00:44:39,241 --> 00:44:42,549
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
1138
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,594
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1139
00:44:44,725 --> 00:44:47,685
[ALARM BLARING]
1140
00:44:51,427 --> 00:44:54,256
QUIZ MASTER:
What's the word for a type
of particle accelerator,
1141
00:44:54,387 --> 00:44:58,260
also applies to a type of
electromagnetic radiation made
1142
00:44:58,391 --> 00:45:02,656
by charged particles moving
in magnetic fields?
1143
00:45:02,787 --> 00:45:04,179
And I'll give you a clue here, guys.
1144
00:45:04,310 --> 00:45:06,878
It is not a cyclotron.
1145
00:45:09,619 --> 00:45:13,536
Which apparatus with culinary
applications would you use
1146
00:45:13,667 --> 00:45:16,322
to maintain the temperature
of water
1147
00:45:16,452 --> 00:45:20,718
below 100 degrees Centigrade
at sea level?
1148
00:45:20,848 --> 00:45:22,720
Come on. Get on with it.
When is the bloody game?
1149
00:45:22,850 --> 00:45:24,199
Don't wanna watch the nerd show.
1150
00:45:27,594 --> 00:45:30,336
Used to maintain
the temperature of water.
1151
00:45:30,466 --> 00:45:32,294
Guys, guys, something
really bad's happen.
1152
00:45:32,425 --> 00:45:33,774
I need your help.
1153
00:45:34,819 --> 00:45:36,081
Megan's gone.
1154
00:45:36,211 --> 00:45:39,258
I don't know where she is.
I can't find her.
1155
00:45:39,388 --> 00:45:40,999
- It's a Marie's flask.
- Deuce. It's a deuce.
1156
00:45:41,129 --> 00:45:42,174
Please, listen to me.
1157
00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:43,697
She's gone. Something
really bad's happened.
1158
00:45:43,828 --> 00:45:46,526
Just shush. Come on, dear.
We're very, very busy.
1159
00:45:46,656 --> 00:45:47,832
Valerie, please listen
to me please.
1160
00:45:47,962 --> 00:45:48,528
Could we please have
the question again?
1161
00:45:48,658 --> 00:45:49,877
Megan's gone.
1162
00:45:50,008 --> 00:45:51,313
VALERIE:
Sorry, darling,
it's just the question
1163
00:45:51,444 --> 00:45:53,098
it's a kitcheny one.
1164
00:45:53,228 --> 00:45:56,188
QUIZMASTER:
Which apparatus with cautery
applications would you use
1165
00:45:56,318 --> 00:45:57,842
to maintain the temperature
of water--
1166
00:45:57,972 --> 00:45:59,539
It's a fucking bain-Marie.
1167
00:45:59,669 --> 00:46:01,193
[CHAIRS SQUEAKING]
1168
00:46:01,323 --> 00:46:02,411
[PLAYERS WHISPERING]
1169
00:46:02,542 --> 00:46:04,500
- Bain-Marie
- Yes, bain-Marie.
1170
00:46:04,631 --> 00:46:06,372
She just said so.
The whole bloody pub heard it.
1171
00:46:06,502 --> 00:46:07,373
- All right.
- Right.
1172
00:46:07,503 --> 00:46:08,374
RUTH:
Why is no one listening to me?
1173
00:46:08,504 --> 00:46:09,418
It's the time machine.
1174
00:46:09,549 --> 00:46:10,071
Something really bad
has happened.
1175
00:46:10,202 --> 00:46:12,378
Stop talking at once.
1176
00:46:12,508 --> 00:46:13,161
Toilets.
1177
00:46:17,339 --> 00:46:18,732
- Oh, look here they come. Look.
- Geeks.
1178
00:46:18,863 --> 00:46:21,735
- Go on.
- Yeah, ya geeks.
1179
00:46:21,866 --> 00:46:24,607
[RICK AND FRIEND LAUGHING]
1180
00:46:24,738 --> 00:46:25,478
Ah.
1181
00:46:25,608 --> 00:46:29,525
[DEVICE WHIRRING AND BEEPING]
1182
00:46:29,656 --> 00:46:30,962
- We're clean.
- Right, so, okay,
1183
00:46:31,092 --> 00:46:32,441
yeah, so I've called
this extraordinary meeting--
1184
00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:34,879
RUTH:
Hey, the machine, I think
there's something wrong with it.
1185
00:46:35,009 --> 00:46:36,358
It's, like, making all
this weird shit happen.
1186
00:46:36,489 --> 00:46:38,883
Like, I was 16 but not when
I was 16, like recently.
1187
00:46:39,013 --> 00:46:39,971
And I thought
that's why Megan had gone
1188
00:46:40,101 --> 00:46:41,450
because I can't find her.
1189
00:46:41,581 --> 00:46:43,496
And there's also, like,
this massive hole.
1190
00:46:43,626 --> 00:46:45,890
There's, like, this weird,
white, glowing, floaty thing,
1191
00:46:46,020 --> 00:46:47,413
and there's, like, this
shit coming out of it.
1192
00:46:47,543 --> 00:46:48,501
And I don't know.
1193
00:46:48,631 --> 00:46:49,894
I think maybe
she's been sucked off.
1194
00:46:50,024 --> 00:46:51,634
I mean, I'm not a scientist
or anything, but--
1195
00:46:51,765 --> 00:46:53,201
MARTIN:
All right, okay, okay,
okay, so first of all,
1196
00:46:53,332 --> 00:46:55,682
is anything she just
said remotely possible?
1197
00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:57,031
Have you used the machine
at all?
1198
00:46:57,162 --> 00:46:58,554
RUTH:
Okay, don't be annoyed.
1199
00:46:58,685 --> 00:47:00,643
We did actually use it
a few times
1200
00:47:00,774 --> 00:47:02,558
because we had a massive
electricity bill, and it was--
1201
00:47:02,689 --> 00:47:04,734
- MARTIN: How much?
- Like six grand.
1202
00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:06,780
No, no, how much did
you use the machine?
1203
00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:08,651
Like, I wanna say it was,
it was quite
1204
00:47:08,782 --> 00:47:10,349
a high number, actually.
1205
00:47:10,479 --> 00:47:12,090
Um, no, I'm really sorry.
1206
00:47:12,220 --> 00:47:14,005
It's just really difficult
for us at the moment.
1207
00:47:14,135 --> 00:47:15,310
Megan's idea anyway,
to be honest.
1208
00:47:15,441 --> 00:47:17,530
Which radioisotope?
1209
00:47:18,748 --> 00:47:19,837
I'll give you a clue here, guys.
1210
00:47:19,967 --> 00:47:23,884
It has the atomic number
43 and mass number 99.
1211
00:47:24,015 --> 00:47:27,409
Can we just establish what
exactly happened to Megan?
1212
00:47:27,540 --> 00:47:29,107
RUTH:
Well, I don't actually know,
1213
00:47:29,237 --> 00:47:30,891
but there's a hole in the
shop, and I think there's
1214
00:47:31,022 --> 00:47:32,762
a good chance
she went in the hole.
1215
00:47:32,893 --> 00:47:34,852
I mean, I'm not exactly sure
if she went in the hole.
1216
00:47:34,982 --> 00:47:36,549
There's definitely a good
chance she's in the hole.
1217
00:47:36,679 --> 00:47:38,246
- VALERIE: Into the hole?
- The hole.
1218
00:47:38,377 --> 00:47:39,552
Like, big hole, little hole?
1219
00:47:39,682 --> 00:47:40,988
RUTH:
It's a big hole. It's quite big.
1220
00:47:41,119 --> 00:47:42,076
Well, it's kind of medium.
1221
00:47:42,207 --> 00:47:43,861
Okay, medium, I'm
gonna put medium for now.
1222
00:47:43,991 --> 00:47:45,688
Idiots, they've broken through.
1223
00:47:45,819 --> 00:47:47,560
Broken through,
what do you mean?
1224
00:47:47,690 --> 00:47:49,562
- They've damned us.
- No, Ralph, Ralph.
1225
00:47:49,692 --> 00:47:51,433
- They've damned us all to hell.
- Ralph.
1226
00:47:51,564 --> 00:47:52,608
MARTIN:
God, he's lost it again.
1227
00:47:52,739 --> 00:47:54,262
RUTH:
Again?
1228
00:47:54,393 --> 00:47:55,611
You know, Ralph had a bit of a
difficult time a few years ago.
1229
00:47:55,742 --> 00:47:56,786
MARTIN:
Difficult?
1230
00:47:56,917 --> 00:47:57,831
He went completely nuts,
completely batshit.
1231
00:47:57,962 --> 00:48:00,442
He was all over the shop
like a mad woman's piss.
1232
00:48:00,573 --> 00:48:01,922
- That's offensive.
- MARTIN: It's all right.
1233
00:48:02,053 --> 00:48:02,880
I know what to do.
1234
00:48:03,010 --> 00:48:04,620
So first of all,
we have to expel
1235
00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:06,318
Ruth and Megan from the society.
1236
00:48:06,448 --> 00:48:07,362
Point of order.
1237
00:48:07,493 --> 00:48:08,450
Uh, since Ralph has left,
1238
00:48:08,581 --> 00:48:09,364
we don't actually have
a quorum anymore.
1239
00:48:09,495 --> 00:48:10,626
So we cannot take a vote.
1240
00:48:10,757 --> 00:48:11,801
Oh, shut up.
1241
00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:16,981
Could I please have the
return of your society pin?
1242
00:48:17,111 --> 00:48:18,808
Oh, my God, Martin,
are you actually joking?
1243
00:48:18,939 --> 00:48:21,072
MARTIN:
No, I'm not joking, thank you.
1244
00:48:21,202 --> 00:48:24,510
And could I please now
have Megan's pin?
1245
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,729
Martin, Megan's not on
the fucking planet anymore.
1246
00:48:26,860 --> 00:48:28,340
I don't know where she is.
1247
00:48:28,470 --> 00:48:30,298
I came to you guys for
help, and Megan was right.
1248
00:48:30,429 --> 00:48:31,952
You're a bunch of freaks
with some stupid club,
1249
00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:33,171
and you just sit around talking
1250
00:48:33,301 --> 00:48:34,955
about inventions that
you didn't even make.
1251
00:48:35,086 --> 00:48:37,653
The universe is coming apart
in my shop,
1252
00:48:37,784 --> 00:48:39,003
and I don't know
where my best friend is.
1253
00:48:39,133 --> 00:48:40,308
And I, I just wanna
get her back,
1254
00:48:40,439 --> 00:48:42,006
and I don't wanna go
to fucking time jail,
1255
00:48:42,136 --> 00:48:43,137
because I don't know
what's in there.
1256
00:48:43,268 --> 00:48:45,531
All right, all right,
now first of all,
1257
00:48:45,661 --> 00:48:47,925
we need to find out what damage
the time machine has done.
1258
00:48:48,055 --> 00:48:50,536
Okay, we will leave here
as quietly as we can.
1259
00:48:50,666 --> 00:48:53,887
We will go
to secret meeting point D.
1260
00:48:54,018 --> 00:48:56,498
And remember
the society's motto.
1261
00:48:56,629 --> 00:48:57,369
VALERIE:
Oh, well, you keep changing it,
Martin.
1262
00:48:57,499 --> 00:48:58,239
No, oh, come on.
1263
00:48:58,370 --> 00:48:59,545
Fuck me.
1264
00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:00,894
Fuck right off.
1265
00:49:01,025 --> 00:49:02,504
Do not make me be that person.
1266
00:49:02,635 --> 00:49:03,375
Cock off.
1267
00:49:05,246 --> 00:49:07,205
Inventing in secret.
1268
00:49:07,335 --> 00:49:09,381
[TOILET FLUSHING]
1269
00:49:09,511 --> 00:49:12,123
[DOOR SQUEAKING]
1270
00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:17,128
[MURMURING]
1271
00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,914
- Just squeeze through.
- Yes.
1272
00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:23,308
[HAND DRYER WHIRRING]
1273
00:49:23,438 --> 00:49:24,309
[MARTIN COUGHS]
1274
00:49:24,439 --> 00:49:27,529
[HAND DRYER WHIRRING]
1275
00:49:29,183 --> 00:49:31,925
[DOOR CLATTERING]
1276
00:49:34,797 --> 00:49:35,798
You know, for 20 seconds there,
1277
00:49:35,929 --> 00:49:37,017
we actually did have a,
a quorum,
1278
00:49:37,148 --> 00:49:38,932
so we could have taken a vote
if we...
1279
00:49:39,063 --> 00:49:39,802
[VALERIE SIGHS]
1280
00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:42,544
Oh, my God, on and on.
1281
00:49:42,675 --> 00:49:44,111
Actually, never mind
'cause he's not,
1282
00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:45,808
he's not in the club.
1283
00:49:45,939 --> 00:49:48,115
[LEAVES RUSTLING]
1284
00:49:48,246 --> 00:49:50,204
[RALPH GASPING]
1285
00:49:56,819 --> 00:49:57,472
ANNOUNCER:
Well, I'm terribly sorry.
1286
00:49:57,603 --> 00:49:58,952
We seem to be having a bit
1287
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,736
of a technical difficulty
at the moment.
1288
00:50:00,867 --> 00:50:02,216
We'll try and restore things
as soon as we can.
1289
00:50:02,347 --> 00:50:03,522
And please do bear with us.
1290
00:50:03,652 --> 00:50:05,959
[DOORBELL RINGING]
1291
00:50:06,090 --> 00:50:08,266
RALPH:
Robert, it's Ralph.
1292
00:50:10,442 --> 00:50:11,660
ROBERT:
The only Ralph
I know betrayed me
1293
00:50:11,791 --> 00:50:13,662
and ruined my life
1294
00:50:13,793 --> 00:50:16,013
RALPH:
It's Ralph Sheldrake.
1295
00:50:17,797 --> 00:50:19,407
ROBERT:
Fuck off.
1296
00:50:19,929 --> 00:50:21,975
RALPH:
We need to talk, Robert.
1297
00:50:22,106 --> 00:50:23,933
It's about the accident.
1298
00:50:26,327 --> 00:50:27,024
[DOOR KNOCKING]
1299
00:50:27,154 --> 00:50:28,938
[LOCKS CLATTERING]
1300
00:50:29,591 --> 00:50:31,550
[CHAINS RATTLING]
1301
00:50:32,681 --> 00:50:34,770
[DOOR SQUEAKING]
1302
00:50:34,901 --> 00:50:35,510
RALPH:
Rob.
1303
00:50:36,772 --> 00:50:38,731
What do you want?
1304
00:50:38,861 --> 00:50:39,993
What?
1305
00:50:40,124 --> 00:50:41,299
- What the fuck?
- No, no, no, no, it's okay.
1306
00:50:41,429 --> 00:50:44,345
They're, they're, they're
just, uh, filming me.
1307
00:50:44,476 --> 00:50:46,913
Oh, yeah, course they are
1308
00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,220
'cause the camera always
loved you.
1309
00:50:49,350 --> 00:50:51,135
I need your help, mate.
1310
00:50:51,265 --> 00:50:52,005
Mate?
1311
00:50:53,311 --> 00:50:55,356
You've got some nerve
after all this time.
1312
00:50:55,487 --> 00:50:57,010
It's about the machine we built.
1313
00:50:57,141 --> 00:50:58,316
It's back.
1314
00:50:58,446 --> 00:51:00,231
ROBERT:
What are you talking about?
1315
00:51:00,361 --> 00:51:03,669
It's been here all the time.
1316
00:51:05,497 --> 00:51:08,152
Uh, the other machine.
1317
00:51:08,282 --> 00:51:12,330
But you destroyed that time
machine over 20 years ago.
1318
00:51:12,460 --> 00:51:13,853
Yes, you're right.
1319
00:51:13,983 --> 00:51:15,376
I put it out with the bins.
1320
00:51:15,507 --> 00:51:19,163
Ralph, that is not a
sufficient means of disposal.
1321
00:51:19,293 --> 00:51:20,164
You better come in.
1322
00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:22,905
[CART WHIRRING]
1323
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:28,128
[TRAFFIC BEEPING]
1324
00:51:30,217 --> 00:51:33,220
Come on, come on, come on.
1325
00:51:33,351 --> 00:51:36,093
Come on, come on, come on.
1326
00:51:36,223 --> 00:51:38,095
Maybe it will be a
good idea if Peter drove.
1327
00:51:38,225 --> 00:51:39,226
- MARTIN: No.
- PETER: Yeah I know a short cut.
1328
00:51:39,357 --> 00:51:40,880
Yeah, well, Alex,
the chair doesn't recognize you
1329
00:51:41,010 --> 00:51:42,099
at this time.
1330
00:51:42,229 --> 00:51:43,404
And I'm a qualified
coach driver, all right?
1331
00:51:43,535 --> 00:51:46,233
Actually,
I could drive if you like.
1332
00:51:46,364 --> 00:51:49,106
Okay, Peter, you drive,
quick, right, go around.
1333
00:51:49,236 --> 00:51:51,195
You squidge over. There we are.
1334
00:51:51,325 --> 00:51:52,326
[SIGHS AND LAUGHS]
1335
00:51:52,457 --> 00:51:53,371
[DOOR CLATTERING]
1336
00:51:53,501 --> 00:51:54,676
[KNUCKLES CRACKING]
1337
00:51:54,807 --> 00:51:56,678
[HYDRAULIC WHIRRING]
1338
00:51:56,809 --> 00:51:58,289
[POP MUSIC BLASTING]
1339
00:51:58,419 --> 00:51:59,768
Hold tight, Ruth.
1340
00:51:59,899 --> 00:52:01,466
[HYDRAULIC WHIRRING]
1341
00:52:01,596 --> 00:52:03,381
♪ Hold on
1342
00:52:03,511 --> 00:52:05,252
♪ Won't be long
1343
00:52:05,383 --> 00:52:07,211
♪ No no there...
1344
00:52:07,341 --> 00:52:10,170
♪ The only way is up
1345
00:52:10,301 --> 00:52:12,390
♪ Baby
1346
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,393
♪ For you and me now
1347
00:52:15,523 --> 00:52:17,656
♪ The only way is up
1348
00:52:17,786 --> 00:52:22,487
♪ Baby, for you and me now
1349
00:52:22,617 --> 00:52:27,361
♪ The only way is up, baby
1350
00:52:27,492 --> 00:52:30,495
♪ For you and me now
1351
00:52:30,625 --> 00:52:34,934
♪ The only way is up, baby
1352
00:52:35,064 --> 00:52:37,676
[GENTLE MUSIC]
1353
00:52:42,202 --> 00:52:43,551
Welcome to the bot cave.
1354
00:52:43,682 --> 00:52:45,727
[CART WHIRRING]
1355
00:52:45,858 --> 00:52:47,860
ROBERT:
That's all the stuff I managed
to salvage from the show.
1356
00:52:50,210 --> 00:52:52,299
It was the golden age
of home learning.
1357
00:52:53,909 --> 00:52:55,215
We didn't know
how good we'd had it,
1358
00:52:56,521 --> 00:52:58,436
presenting science
to the masses.
1359
00:53:00,089 --> 00:53:02,135
But I don't know why they chose
Ralph to be the presenter.
1360
00:53:02,266 --> 00:53:05,269
I was meant to be
the bloody robot.
1361
00:53:05,399 --> 00:53:08,533
[LAUGHS] God, can't believe
you kept all this.
1362
00:53:08,663 --> 00:53:12,537
And just like that,
it was gone.
1363
00:53:12,667 --> 00:53:14,756
You didn't put up a fight,
did ya?
1364
00:53:14,887 --> 00:53:16,628
Nah, you just walked away.
1365
00:53:16,758 --> 00:53:18,456
They woulda listened to you.
1366
00:53:18,586 --> 00:53:21,241
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
1367
00:53:21,372 --> 00:53:23,678
Come on, mate,
we had a good run.
1368
00:53:23,809 --> 00:53:24,940
[ITEM THUDDING]
1369
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,248
Yeah, but at least
I fought for it.
1370
00:53:28,379 --> 00:53:33,035
I wrote and submitted 15
seasons worth of new material,
1371
00:53:33,166 --> 00:53:34,385
not one response.
1372
00:53:36,387 --> 00:53:39,041
Crushing blow to my
creativity.
1373
00:53:39,172 --> 00:53:40,782
I mean, look at us.
1374
00:53:42,697 --> 00:53:45,222
I was a different person.
1375
00:53:45,352 --> 00:53:46,266
You and I, we coulda been rich
1376
00:53:46,397 --> 00:53:48,921
off of what
we achieved together...
1377
00:53:51,010 --> 00:53:53,795
but they just cancelled us
and threw us on the shit heap.
1378
00:53:53,926 --> 00:53:55,406
[RALPH SIGHS]
1379
00:53:55,536 --> 00:54:00,062
Well, after what happened
live on air, can you blame them?
1380
00:54:00,193 --> 00:54:01,673
Yeah, that's what
that wall's about.
1381
00:54:01,803 --> 00:54:05,677
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
1382
00:54:06,852 --> 00:54:08,854
[SWITCH CLICKING]
1383
00:54:08,984 --> 00:54:10,638
Got everything you need?
1384
00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:13,989
[CREATURE GROWLING]
1385
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,296
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
1386
00:54:16,427 --> 00:54:21,170
There was a, an accident
with a machine.
1387
00:54:23,825 --> 00:54:28,265
Robert and I were stranded
in a lost dimension.
1388
00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:33,270
We were gone for three years,
or so we thought.
1389
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:37,143
This is the octopus monster
that used to stalk us.
1390
00:54:37,274 --> 00:54:38,057
Here.
1391
00:54:39,754 --> 00:54:41,452
This here is the captain.
1392
00:54:41,582 --> 00:54:43,541
He was there, too.
1393
00:54:43,671 --> 00:54:48,241
These are photographs we
took for scientific evidence.
1394
00:54:48,372 --> 00:54:52,854
And then the, and then the
press just had a field day.
1395
00:54:52,985 --> 00:54:55,117
We were shunned by everyone.
1396
00:54:55,248 --> 00:54:57,294
Well, that's it in a nutshell.
1397
00:54:57,424 --> 00:54:59,034
We went to hell and back.
1398
00:54:59,165 --> 00:55:00,775
Now, that's a quote.
1399
00:55:02,299 --> 00:55:06,128
Potty Botty is just
a dangerous slur
1400
00:55:06,259 --> 00:55:10,655
on our scientific knowledge
and our bowel-care capacities.
1401
00:55:12,787 --> 00:55:15,355
That's why my podcast is vital.
1402
00:55:15,486 --> 00:55:17,444
People need to know about this
1403
00:55:17,575 --> 00:55:20,665
hellish alternative place
out there.
1404
00:55:22,623 --> 00:55:26,758
And, uh, when we finally
escaped and returned home,
1405
00:55:28,455 --> 00:55:31,937
we found that, uh, no
time had passed at all.
1406
00:55:33,373 --> 00:55:37,377
We weren't missed,
and we had to go live on air.
1407
00:55:39,205 --> 00:55:43,296
RALPH:
The creatures,
fowl mosters of hell!
1408
00:55:43,427 --> 00:55:44,515
Spread the word.
1409
00:55:46,081 --> 00:55:48,301
None of this is real.
1410
00:55:48,432 --> 00:55:49,650
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
1411
00:55:49,781 --> 00:55:51,652
It's all lies.
1412
00:55:51,783 --> 00:55:53,132
[BOTTY CRACKING]
1413
00:55:53,262 --> 00:55:54,786
[RALPH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1414
00:55:54,916 --> 00:55:57,310
Hell is real.
1415
00:55:58,442 --> 00:55:59,791
We've been there.
1416
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:04,448
It wasn't one of our best shows.
1417
00:56:04,578 --> 00:56:08,277
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
1418
00:56:08,408 --> 00:56:10,497
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1419
00:56:15,023 --> 00:56:17,025
[VAN CLATTERING]
1420
00:56:17,156 --> 00:56:19,463
[DOOR SQUEAKING AND CLATTERING]
1421
00:56:19,593 --> 00:56:21,726
- Okay, come on this way.
- I almost had the...
1422
00:56:21,856 --> 00:56:23,815
Come along, come along.
1423
00:56:26,339 --> 00:56:28,036
So, so, what
we're doing is this.
1424
00:56:28,167 --> 00:56:30,038
What? Peter, fuck's sake.
1425
00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:33,041
Ralph kindly agreed
for the society
1426
00:56:33,172 --> 00:56:35,435
to use this facility
as a secret base of operations
1427
00:56:35,566 --> 00:56:36,871
for just such an emergency
as this.
1428
00:56:37,002 --> 00:56:38,482
Yeah, we can't get into the
school on Thursday nights.
1429
00:56:38,612 --> 00:56:39,787
It's Pilates on the ball.
1430
00:56:39,918 --> 00:56:41,049
- Yeah.
- You're just sat on a ball.
1431
00:56:41,180 --> 00:56:42,137
Yeah.
1432
00:56:42,268 --> 00:56:43,269
First 10 minutes
is pumping it up.
1433
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:44,313
Shut up.
1434
00:56:46,315 --> 00:56:49,971
Anyway, this is the place where
Ralph originally developed
1435
00:56:50,102 --> 00:56:51,538
the time machine, apparently.
1436
00:56:51,669 --> 00:56:54,149
[WINDOW KNOCKING]
1437
00:56:57,501 --> 00:56:58,589
[DOOR CLATTERING & BELL RINGING]
1438
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,940
How did you lot get
keys to my bloody shop?
1439
00:57:02,070 --> 00:57:04,421
Botty?
Oh, my God, it's Botty, oh.
1440
00:57:04,551 --> 00:57:06,205
He's barking mad.
1441
00:57:06,335 --> 00:57:06,988
ROBERT:
You know who I am?
1442
00:57:07,119 --> 00:57:09,382
Yeah, I watched every episode.
1443
00:57:09,513 --> 00:57:10,992
You're the one who's been
using our time machine.
1444
00:57:11,123 --> 00:57:12,298
Big fan of yours, both of yours.
1445
00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:13,908
It's a great show.
1446
00:57:14,039 --> 00:57:15,301
It's really good.
1447
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,085
You've actually travelled
in time?
1448
00:57:17,216 --> 00:57:18,391
It was great for our business
'cause we've,
1449
00:57:18,522 --> 00:57:20,567
we've got a vintage shop
in Muswell Hill, actually.
1450
00:57:20,698 --> 00:57:21,568
You should come check it out.
1451
00:57:21,699 --> 00:57:23,352
I've got a card.
1452
00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:25,311
You haven't got a shop.
1453
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:28,140
You have a swirling gateway
to hell.
1454
00:57:28,270 --> 00:57:29,054
Good luck.
1455
00:57:30,359 --> 00:57:32,361
[WATCH BEEPING AND CLICKING]
1456
00:57:32,492 --> 00:57:33,275
10:15?
1457
00:57:35,582 --> 00:57:37,541
Acute radiation sickness.
1458
00:57:37,671 --> 00:57:38,629
MARTIN:
Oh, God.
1459
00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:40,674
The machine is damaging
the universe
1460
00:57:40,805 --> 00:57:42,807
in ways that we could never
have foreseen
1461
00:57:42,937 --> 00:57:45,636
like a shitty '80s car.
1462
00:57:45,766 --> 00:57:49,074
We think your friend's fallen
out of this dimension,
1463
00:57:49,204 --> 00:57:52,120
the one that we're all
currently inhabiting,
1464
00:57:52,251 --> 00:57:53,470
and she's landed somewhere else.
1465
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,776
RUTH:
Where's she landed?
1466
00:57:57,343 --> 00:57:59,780
Um, let me show you.
1467
00:57:59,911 --> 00:58:00,651
Excuse me.
1468
00:58:02,870 --> 00:58:05,046
What, she's in there?
1469
00:58:05,177 --> 00:58:10,138
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
1470
00:58:11,313 --> 00:58:12,663
MARTIN:
Well, I didn't
even know this place existed.
1471
00:58:12,793 --> 00:58:14,491
He didn't declare it
to the society, did he?
1472
00:58:14,621 --> 00:58:15,622
Went to your birthday,
didn't we Val?
1473
00:58:15,753 --> 00:58:17,145
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, that was brilliant.
1474
00:58:17,276 --> 00:58:17,972
- I loved that cake.
- Great fun.
1475
00:58:18,103 --> 00:58:19,626
- It was amazing.
- Yeah.
1476
00:58:19,757 --> 00:58:20,975
RALPH:
Let's see, shall we?
1477
00:58:21,106 --> 00:58:23,282
[DEVICE BEEPING AND WHIRRING]
1478
00:58:23,412 --> 00:58:24,239
GROUP:
Oh.
1479
00:58:24,370 --> 00:58:27,460
[MACHINE WHIRRING AND BEEPING]
1480
00:58:27,591 --> 00:58:31,029
The time machine's
trajectory passes through
1481
00:58:32,465 --> 00:58:34,423
to another point in time,
1482
00:58:36,425 --> 00:58:39,037
but it has to pass
this dimension.
1483
00:58:40,255 --> 00:58:42,040
We call it the Unreason.
1484
00:58:43,911 --> 00:58:46,827
Unfortunately,
uh, all our experiments,
1485
00:58:46,958 --> 00:58:48,699
we never made it all the way,
didn't we, Robert?
1486
00:58:48,829 --> 00:58:49,656
- No, no.
- No, no, we,
1487
00:58:49,787 --> 00:58:52,180
no, we, we, we broke down here.
1488
00:58:53,442 --> 00:58:55,575
Uh, now, we believe
that Megan has fallen
1489
00:58:55,706 --> 00:58:58,883
into a, a temporal sinkhole, uh,
1490
00:58:59,013 --> 00:59:03,801
caused by you guys punching
through history several times
1491
00:59:04,192 --> 00:59:06,543
in the same point in your shop.
1492
00:59:09,589 --> 00:59:11,765
She's probably ended up here
1493
00:59:13,985 --> 00:59:16,291
like me and Robert did.
1494
00:59:16,422 --> 00:59:17,641
The Unreason?
1495
00:59:17,771 --> 00:59:19,033
You know, when people
and things,
1496
00:59:19,164 --> 00:59:21,253
they vanish
in the Bermuda triangle,
1497
00:59:21,383 --> 00:59:23,429
down the back of the couch?
1498
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,040
Well, in fact,
anything in history...
1499
00:59:27,259 --> 00:59:30,088
that disappears without a trace,
1500
00:59:30,218 --> 00:59:34,048
it, it all ends up here.
1501
00:59:34,179 --> 00:59:35,354
[SIGHS]
It was a nightmare.
1502
00:59:35,484 --> 00:59:36,921
Oh, Megan.
1503
00:59:37,051 --> 00:59:40,315
Look, here, we've got drawings
and pictures.
1504
00:59:42,274 --> 00:59:43,536
Yeah, look at that.
1505
00:59:43,667 --> 00:59:47,061
[PAPER RUSTLING]
1506
00:59:47,192 --> 00:59:50,456
And they breed a lot.
1507
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:53,024
And they are not gentle lovers.
1508
00:59:55,287 --> 00:59:56,767
The horrors, yeah,
1509
00:59:58,682 --> 00:59:59,639
of that place,
1510
01:00:03,251 --> 01:00:05,602
imagine waking up to that.
1511
01:00:05,732 --> 01:00:08,343
Does that look natural to you?
1512
01:00:08,474 --> 01:00:10,041
If anybody touches
any of these things,
1513
01:00:10,171 --> 01:00:12,043
wash your hands afterwards
please.
1514
01:00:12,173 --> 01:00:17,048
We've, we've seen things,
monsters,
1515
01:00:17,178 --> 01:00:19,267
weird animals,
1516
01:00:19,398 --> 01:00:22,227
a unicorn with dicks for legs.
1517
01:00:22,357 --> 01:00:24,011
It's true.
1518
01:00:24,142 --> 01:00:27,014
I saw them, too,
well, not the dicks.
1519
01:00:27,145 --> 01:00:29,887
Okay, so say this place
even exists.
1520
01:00:30,017 --> 01:00:32,629
Is mounting a rescue
even possible?
1521
01:00:32,759 --> 01:00:34,413
Theoretically,
we could get there
1522
01:00:34,543 --> 01:00:35,762
with some pretty
profound modifications
1523
01:00:35,893 --> 01:00:37,155
to the fairground bumper car.
1524
01:00:37,285 --> 01:00:38,504
RUTH:
And bring Megan back?
1525
01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,201
No, no, no, we shouldn't be
using that machine anymore.
1526
01:00:40,332 --> 01:00:42,682
Well, we can't just
leave Megan there forever.
1527
01:00:42,813 --> 01:00:44,162
[BELL RINGING]
1528
01:00:44,292 --> 01:00:46,904
Hey, Val,
what about this microwave?
1529
01:00:47,034 --> 01:00:48,906
We could,
we could use this shielding
1530
01:00:49,036 --> 01:00:51,778
to reinforce
the singularity chamber.
1531
01:00:51,909 --> 01:00:53,911
Yeah, this should do the trick,
1532
01:00:54,041 --> 01:00:56,261
allowing safe
and reliable time travel
1533
01:00:56,391 --> 01:00:58,959
without damaging space-time.
1534
01:00:59,090 --> 01:01:01,483
- PETER: And the microwave?
- Oh, it'll be knackered.
1535
01:01:01,614 --> 01:01:02,702
Damn.
1536
01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:03,747
No, no, hang on a minute,
hang on a minute.
1537
01:01:03,877 --> 01:01:07,315
We are a society.
We should take a vote.
1538
01:01:07,446 --> 01:01:10,405
Well, I think it feels
pretty unanimous, Martin.
1539
01:01:10,536 --> 01:01:11,885
Oh, does it?
1540
01:01:12,016 --> 01:01:13,408
Well, Ralph and Robert can
postulate the correct course
1541
01:01:13,539 --> 01:01:14,888
of the hidden dimension
of the universe.
1542
01:01:15,019 --> 01:01:16,716
Alex and I will fix the
machine so it's less polluting
1543
01:01:16,847 --> 01:01:18,718
to space-time
and less damaging to humans
1544
01:01:18,849 --> 01:01:19,763
and so that Ruth can travel
up and down
1545
01:01:19,893 --> 01:01:21,068
or wherever it is,
to the Unreason,
1546
01:01:21,199 --> 01:01:23,288
and rescue Megan
and hopefully bring her back.
1547
01:01:23,418 --> 01:01:27,771
Um, so, uh, yes, uh,
1548
01:01:27,901 --> 01:01:30,382
and I, I could just, um,
1549
01:01:30,512 --> 01:01:31,949
there's lots of things here
I could probably help with,
1550
01:01:32,079 --> 01:01:34,038
you know, cups,
1551
01:01:35,604 --> 01:01:37,694
It could be used
for telephonic communication
1552
01:01:37,824 --> 01:01:41,001
with a bit of string,
and then there's this thing.
1553
01:01:41,132 --> 01:01:42,655
[MARTIN IMITATES GUNSHOTS]
1554
01:01:42,786 --> 01:01:45,049
Bang, you're dead.
1555
01:01:45,179 --> 01:01:47,268
[TOOL THUDDING]
1556
01:01:47,399 --> 01:01:48,443
MARTIN:
Or on the other hand,
1557
01:01:48,574 --> 01:01:51,533
I suppose I'm just
completely fucking useless.
1558
01:01:53,361 --> 01:01:56,451
Actually, Martin, you know what?
1559
01:01:56,582 --> 01:02:00,586
You could do the most
important job of all.
1560
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:03,241
You could, um, do the,
the risk assessment.
1561
01:02:03,371 --> 01:02:04,459
He could do the risk assessment.
1562
01:02:04,590 --> 01:02:05,765
- Yes, yes.
- Yes.
1563
01:02:05,896 --> 01:02:07,071
What, I could do
the risk assessment?
1564
01:02:07,201 --> 01:02:08,550
VALERIE:
Yeah.
1565
01:02:08,681 --> 01:02:09,769
Yeah, well, I, I could,
1566
01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:12,293
Yes I could do
the risk assessment.
1567
01:02:13,381 --> 01:02:14,252
Let's do it.
1568
01:02:15,122 --> 01:02:16,558
Let's get Ruth
in that time machine.
1569
01:02:16,689 --> 01:02:18,386
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm not going. I can't go.
1570
01:02:18,517 --> 01:02:19,605
I can't drive. Megan drives.
1571
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,563
I thought Ralph was gonna go.
1572
01:02:21,694 --> 01:02:22,956
You, you've been there.
You do it.
1573
01:02:23,087 --> 01:02:24,349
No, no, no, no.
I'm not going.
1574
01:02:24,479 --> 01:02:26,090
I don't even drive a real car,
so how am I gonna drive
1575
01:02:26,220 --> 01:02:27,308
a fucking time machine?
1576
01:02:27,439 --> 01:02:29,528
Please, but I get really
bad headaches, migraines.
1577
01:02:29,658 --> 01:02:31,748
I'm like,
I'm probably gonna be sick.
1578
01:02:31,878 --> 01:02:33,227
There's weird stuff there.
1579
01:02:33,358 --> 01:02:35,752
Botty said there's dicks in
there, and I can't do it, Val.
1580
01:02:35,882 --> 01:02:37,449
I can't do it.
I don't wanna go.
1581
01:02:37,579 --> 01:02:38,189
- I really don't wanna go.
- It's okay, breathe.
1582
01:02:38,319 --> 01:02:39,320
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1583
01:02:39,451 --> 01:02:42,367
Calm down, Megan,
Megan is relying on us.
1584
01:02:42,497 --> 01:02:44,151
She's counting on you.
1585
01:02:47,676 --> 01:02:49,548
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1586
01:02:49,678 --> 01:02:51,289
You can do it.
1587
01:02:51,419 --> 01:02:52,681
You can do it.
1588
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:54,422
Okay.
1589
01:02:55,423 --> 01:02:56,294
You can do it.
1590
01:02:56,424 --> 01:02:57,948
I'll go with you,
if you want Ruth.
1591
01:02:58,078 --> 01:03:00,994
- VALERIE: Oh, Peter, no, fuck.
- Fair enough.
1592
01:03:01,125 --> 01:03:03,692
[EXHALING]
1593
01:03:04,519 --> 01:03:07,914
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
1594
01:03:08,045 --> 01:03:10,395
[♪]
1595
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:17,054
1984 Reverchon Privilege,
1596
01:03:18,185 --> 01:03:19,404
she's a beauty.
1597
01:03:19,534 --> 01:03:24,409
You can travel through time,
can't ya?
1598
01:03:25,627 --> 01:03:26,411
Cheeky.
1599
01:03:27,368 --> 01:03:31,677
[♪]
1600
01:03:33,853 --> 01:03:35,333
[INDISTINCT SPEAKING]
1601
01:03:35,463 --> 01:03:36,856
RUTH:
What is this?
1602
01:03:36,987 --> 01:03:39,816
RALPH:
And just follow those
in the same, it's very easy.
1603
01:03:41,948 --> 01:03:43,341
No, this, that,
that'll twist and...
1604
01:03:43,471 --> 01:03:45,038
[INDISTINCT SPEAKING]
1605
01:03:46,518 --> 01:03:48,259
[STICK CLANKING]
1606
01:03:48,389 --> 01:03:50,130
[DEVICE BEEPS]
1607
01:03:56,397 --> 01:03:59,052
When you find Megan,
uh, remember,
1608
01:03:59,183 --> 01:04:01,359
we don't know how long
she's been down there.
1609
01:04:01,489 --> 01:04:02,490
It could have been years.
1610
01:04:03,665 --> 01:04:05,493
ROBERT:
She coulda lost her mind.
1611
01:04:05,624 --> 01:04:08,540
Not everybody has the same
mental fortitude as we did.
1612
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:11,238
We had an argument
before she went.
1613
01:04:11,369 --> 01:04:13,675
So she, she could have
been stewing for years.
1614
01:04:13,806 --> 01:04:16,461
RALPH:
Don't worry about that.
I'm sure she's forgotten.
1615
01:04:16,591 --> 01:04:19,246
Time heals all wounds.
1616
01:04:19,377 --> 01:04:20,291
Fuck that.
1617
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:22,815
I've been stewing for years.
1618
01:04:24,730 --> 01:04:26,036
Was, was, was that about me?
1619
01:04:28,429 --> 01:04:32,085
Sorry, Rob, I,
I just thought you'd lost it.
1620
01:04:32,216 --> 01:04:35,436
I mean, this time machine
broke up our friendship.
1621
01:04:35,567 --> 01:04:37,743
It's got nothing to do
with the machine.
1622
01:04:39,484 --> 01:04:41,616
This was all about you.
1623
01:04:41,747 --> 01:04:42,530
You didn't think you needed me.
1624
01:04:42,661 --> 01:04:44,532
That was utter bullshit.
1625
01:04:46,273 --> 01:04:47,492
You'd have been nothing
without me.
1626
01:04:48,580 --> 01:04:49,450
[EXHALES]
1627
01:04:51,365 --> 01:04:52,540
Of course.
1628
01:04:54,151 --> 01:04:55,152
Robert
1629
01:04:55,282 --> 01:04:57,284
I can't dispute that.
1630
01:05:03,812 --> 01:05:05,162
I always knew that.
1631
01:05:05,292 --> 01:05:07,686
[♪]
1632
01:05:10,645 --> 01:05:11,995
Megan needs me.
1633
01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:16,651
Ah, well, best crack on.
1634
01:05:18,001 --> 01:05:20,307
These are all your chargers.
1635
01:05:20,438 --> 01:05:22,353
- This is your, your thrust.
- Like that?
1636
01:05:22,483 --> 01:05:23,441
Yeah.
1637
01:05:23,571 --> 01:05:25,095
Here until the sequence
over here--
1638
01:05:25,225 --> 01:05:26,792
- Okay.
- On the left.
1639
01:05:27,967 --> 01:05:29,316
- Okay.
- RUTH: Wow.
1640
01:05:29,447 --> 01:05:31,579
Here, careful.
1641
01:05:32,493 --> 01:05:33,668
Okay, sure.
1642
01:05:33,799 --> 01:05:35,235
[GUN CLANKING]
1643
01:05:35,366 --> 01:05:37,498
More careful than that.
1644
01:05:37,629 --> 01:05:38,325
Okay.
1645
01:05:39,979 --> 01:05:41,546
And I've installed an
electromagnetic shield
1646
01:05:41,676 --> 01:05:42,677
in the machine,
which should solve
1647
01:05:42,808 --> 01:05:44,549
the radiation sickness
and nosebleeds.
1648
01:05:44,679 --> 01:05:46,290
Oh, thank God,
and the headaches,
1649
01:05:46,420 --> 01:05:47,682
and the hair loss,
1650
01:05:47,813 --> 01:05:50,337
and the bloating,
and the insomnia,
1651
01:05:50,468 --> 01:05:53,427
and the dizziness,
and the tiredness, and that,
1652
01:05:53,558 --> 01:05:56,169
those awful sweats,
and the hair on my face,
1653
01:05:56,300 --> 01:05:58,171
and the lethargy,
1654
01:05:58,302 --> 01:05:59,956
and the dryness?
1655
01:06:01,653 --> 01:06:03,829
I think that might be
the menopause.
1656
01:06:05,613 --> 01:06:06,658
Oh, okay.
1657
01:06:06,788 --> 01:06:07,528
Never mind.
1658
01:06:09,095 --> 01:06:12,011
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1659
01:06:12,142 --> 01:06:20,977
[♪]
1660
01:06:22,587 --> 01:06:25,155
[DOOR CLATTERING]
1661
01:06:29,811 --> 01:06:32,553
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
1662
01:06:32,684 --> 01:06:34,512
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1663
01:06:40,344 --> 01:06:44,435
Risk assessment, Ruth,
and a gold badge for you.
1664
01:06:44,565 --> 01:06:46,002
Thank you, Martin.
1665
01:06:47,220 --> 01:06:48,961
MARTIN:
Good luck, Ruth.
1666
01:06:50,789 --> 01:06:51,703
I'll never forget you.
1667
01:06:51,833 --> 01:06:53,531
Goodbye Valerie.
1668
01:06:53,661 --> 01:06:55,141
- Good luck, Ruth.
- Goodbye, Peter.
1669
01:06:55,272 --> 01:06:55,968
Goodbye.
1670
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:03,802
[SWITCHES CLICKING]
1671
01:07:03,932 --> 01:07:06,065
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
1672
01:07:06,196 --> 01:07:08,937
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
1673
01:07:09,068 --> 01:07:11,505
What is happening
to the world, Val?
1674
01:07:11,636 --> 01:07:14,987
VALERIE:
The universe knows we're
about to break the rules.
1675
01:07:15,118 --> 01:07:17,381
Nothing escapes the Unreason.
1676
01:07:19,078 --> 01:07:20,340
Are they gonna make it?
1677
01:07:20,471 --> 01:07:23,256
History, the future, time,
1678
01:07:23,387 --> 01:07:25,867
they're all level-two
chaotic systems,
1679
01:07:25,998 --> 01:07:28,827
systems that react to
predictions about themselves,
1680
01:07:28,957 --> 01:07:30,655
so I'd rather not say.
1681
01:07:32,396 --> 01:07:36,443
Valerie, you deserve to be
running the society, not me.
1682
01:07:37,618 --> 01:07:39,490
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
1683
01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:40,317
Oh, God, come on Ruth!
1684
01:07:41,100 --> 01:07:44,364
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
1685
01:07:44,495 --> 01:07:47,759
[AIR WHOOSHING]
1686
01:07:47,889 --> 01:07:49,891
[HOPEFUL MUSIC]
1687
01:07:52,198 --> 01:07:55,288
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1688
01:07:59,553 --> 01:08:02,382
[EXPLOSION BLASTING]
1689
01:08:03,775 --> 01:08:04,645
[JETS HISSING]
1690
01:08:04,776 --> 01:08:05,298
[BURP ERUPTING]
1691
01:08:05,429 --> 01:08:06,169
Oh.
1692
01:08:15,352 --> 01:08:18,268
[TIME MACHINE BEEPING]
1693
01:08:24,056 --> 01:08:25,840
[ROCKETS WHOOSHING]
1694
01:08:25,971 --> 01:08:28,582
[TIME MACHINE THUDDING]
1695
01:08:30,454 --> 01:08:33,805
[♪]
1696
01:08:40,855 --> 01:08:43,031
[TIME MACHINE BEEPING]
1697
01:08:46,165 --> 01:08:47,253
[SWITCH CLICKING]
1698
01:08:47,384 --> 01:08:50,038
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
1699
01:08:50,169 --> 01:08:52,693
[BUTTON CLICKING]
1700
01:08:52,824 --> 01:08:55,653
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1701
01:08:58,656 --> 01:08:59,439
Meegs.
1702
01:08:59,570 --> 01:09:01,876
[WIND HOWLING]
1703
01:09:02,007 --> 01:09:02,790
Meegs.
1704
01:09:08,796 --> 01:09:11,408
[♪]
1705
01:09:13,671 --> 01:09:15,151
Okay, okay.
1706
01:09:15,934 --> 01:09:18,937
[FOOTSTEPS PLODDING]
1707
01:09:27,380 --> 01:09:29,469
ROBERT:
Anything in history
that disappears,
1708
01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:32,168
it all ends up here.
1709
01:09:32,298 --> 01:09:35,171
[CREATURE GROWLING]
1710
01:09:38,086 --> 01:09:40,393
RUTH:
Listen, mate I've got a gun, yeah.
1711
01:09:41,873 --> 01:09:43,483
[CREATURE GROWLING]
1712
01:09:43,614 --> 01:09:44,484
[CREATURE CLICKING]
1713
01:09:44,615 --> 01:09:45,442
Megan?
1714
01:09:45,572 --> 01:09:47,139
[CREATURE GROWLING]
1715
01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:49,010
Megan, Meegs.
1716
01:09:50,098 --> 01:09:51,622
[CREATURE CLICKING]
1717
01:09:51,752 --> 01:09:54,407
[LASER BLASTING]
1718
01:09:55,713 --> 01:09:58,411
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
1719
01:10:00,631 --> 01:10:03,982
Yeah, I'm getting huge spikes.
Look at this, here.
1720
01:10:04,112 --> 01:10:06,158
I mean, it's off the charts.
1721
01:10:06,289 --> 01:10:07,855
VALERIE:
Ralph, not too far.
1722
01:10:07,986 --> 01:10:10,467
[ELECTRICITY SPARKING]
1723
01:10:10,597 --> 01:10:13,034
So Rick, the landlord,
has arranged access for us
1724
01:10:13,165 --> 01:10:15,167
so that we can seal the fracture
1725
01:10:15,298 --> 01:10:17,996
or interdimensional fissure,
as we're calling it.
1726
01:10:18,126 --> 01:10:20,520
But before we do that,
1727
01:10:20,651 --> 01:10:23,567
we thought we would use a
robotic drone to study it.
1728
01:10:23,697 --> 01:10:25,525
[MACHINE BEEPING]
1729
01:10:25,656 --> 01:10:28,267
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1730
01:10:28,398 --> 01:10:30,878
[RICK WHIMPERING]
1731
01:10:31,009 --> 01:10:32,837
[CONTAINER CLANKING]
1732
01:10:32,967 --> 01:10:33,968
[RICK MURMURING]
1733
01:10:34,099 --> 01:10:37,233
Uh, go left a bit please,
Peter, no left.
1734
01:10:37,363 --> 01:10:38,669
- Right.
- Right, well, left that way.
1735
01:10:38,799 --> 01:10:39,539
PETER:
Yes.
1736
01:10:39,670 --> 01:10:40,323
[ITEMS CLANKING]
1737
01:10:40,453 --> 01:10:43,761
[INDISTINCT MOANING]
1738
01:10:43,891 --> 01:10:46,024
Can you be a bit more careful,
Peter?
1739
01:10:46,154 --> 01:10:48,156
Sorry, it's fighting me.
1740
01:10:49,114 --> 01:10:51,856
[RICK SCREAMING]
1741
01:10:51,986 --> 01:10:54,119
[ITEMS CLANKING]
1742
01:10:59,733 --> 01:11:01,866
- Steady.
- Steady, easy.
1743
01:11:03,128 --> 01:11:06,218
[RICK SCREAMING]
1744
01:11:06,349 --> 01:11:07,698
To the right, to the right.
1745
01:11:07,828 --> 01:11:09,569
[RICK WHIMPERING]
1746
01:11:09,700 --> 01:11:10,831
That's it, that's it.
1747
01:11:10,962 --> 01:11:13,269
[RICK SCREAMING]
1748
01:11:13,399 --> 01:11:14,879
Zoom in, zoom in.
1749
01:11:15,009 --> 01:11:16,750
- Uh, no, zoom, go push--
- I'm zooming.
1750
01:11:16,881 --> 01:11:18,012
Don't touch it.
1751
01:11:18,143 --> 01:11:18,883
- I'll touch it if I want to.
- Don't touch it.
1752
01:11:19,013 --> 01:11:19,840
- Push it.
- No.
1753
01:11:19,971 --> 01:11:21,015
Otherwise you'll never zoom in.
1754
01:11:21,146 --> 01:11:24,541
[RICK WHIMPERING]
1755
01:11:24,671 --> 01:11:26,020
PETER:
Ah, ah.
1756
01:11:26,151 --> 01:11:27,108
- MARTIN: Go left.
- Guys.
1757
01:11:27,239 --> 01:11:29,589
[RICK WHIMPERING]
1758
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:31,983
MARTIN:
Forward, zoom, zoom.
1759
01:11:32,113 --> 01:11:36,596
[RICK WHIMPERING]
1760
01:11:36,727 --> 01:11:39,686
That's it. Now, what is that?
1761
01:11:39,817 --> 01:11:43,995
Ah, that's the event horizon,
the point of no return.
1762
01:11:45,257 --> 01:11:46,476
It's beautiful.
1763
01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:49,827
[RICK WHIMPERING]
1764
01:11:49,957 --> 01:11:51,568
Really, really gently, Peter,
1765
01:11:51,698 --> 01:11:54,266
'cause that gravitational
force looks super strong.
1766
01:11:54,397 --> 01:11:55,441
Yeah, I've got it.
1767
01:11:55,572 --> 01:11:57,138
- Don't worry.
- Wow.
1768
01:11:57,269 --> 01:11:59,619
[RICK WHIMPERING]
1769
01:12:02,013 --> 01:12:03,841
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
1770
01:12:03,971 --> 01:12:06,713
- Shit, lost it, sorry.
- Oh.
1771
01:12:06,844 --> 01:12:07,888
Yeah, it's all right.
Don't worry.
1772
01:12:08,019 --> 01:12:09,194
- You did really quite well.
- Not your fault.
1773
01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:10,978
No, right, it's not my fault.
Good job, Peter, good job,
1774
01:12:11,109 --> 01:12:12,806
'cause we're going to learn
such a lot from this footage.
1775
01:12:12,937 --> 01:12:15,026
I mean, it's just, it's amazing.
1776
01:12:15,156 --> 01:12:16,506
All these images, you see,
1777
01:12:16,636 --> 01:12:17,898
they will be very useful
1778
01:12:18,029 --> 01:12:19,683
because
it's the first-ever recording
1779
01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:22,163
of spatial distortion ever.
1780
01:12:22,294 --> 01:12:23,643
I can't wait to review it all.
1781
01:12:23,774 --> 01:12:25,602
Peter did so well.
1782
01:12:25,732 --> 01:12:26,342
He did.
1783
01:12:28,126 --> 01:12:29,606
That was my fault.
1784
01:12:32,652 --> 01:12:34,785
[FOOTSTEPS PLODDING]
1785
01:12:34,915 --> 01:12:37,483
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1786
01:12:41,922 --> 01:12:42,619
RUTH:
Megan?
1787
01:12:44,621 --> 01:12:47,145
[BELL RINGING]
1788
01:12:55,762 --> 01:12:58,374
[BROODING MUSIC]
1789
01:13:05,032 --> 01:13:07,774
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1790
01:13:17,262 --> 01:13:21,745
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1791
01:13:26,227 --> 01:13:27,228
[EXHALING]
1792
01:13:27,359 --> 01:13:29,970
Ah, you breathed, you breathed.
1793
01:13:30,101 --> 01:13:33,147
That's 536 and a half points
to me.
1794
01:13:33,278 --> 01:13:37,978
You go down to level,
um, 4,336. [LAUGHS]
1795
01:13:38,109 --> 01:13:38,936
Sucks to be you.
1796
01:13:39,066 --> 01:13:41,373
That round always beats me.
1797
01:13:41,504 --> 01:13:42,330
I mean, it's fun.
1798
01:13:42,461 --> 01:13:43,419
Fun.
1799
01:13:43,549 --> 01:13:44,811
What a game, what a game,
what a game.
1800
01:13:44,942 --> 01:13:47,597
Isn't this fun?
[LAUGHS]
1801
01:13:50,338 --> 01:13:51,165
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1802
01:13:51,296 --> 01:13:52,384
What are you doing, love?
1803
01:13:52,515 --> 01:13:53,733
I have this,
so I collect these, right?
1804
01:13:53,864 --> 01:13:55,735
No, no, no, no, no, fuck's sake.
1805
01:13:55,866 --> 01:13:57,302
Listen, everyone,
this is important.
1806
01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:59,957
You cannot show this card
on this round.
1807
01:14:00,087 --> 01:14:00,914
[GRUNTS]
1808
01:14:01,045 --> 01:14:01,828
Hold on, hold on.
1809
01:14:01,959 --> 01:14:04,483
Let's look at the rules,
shall we?
1810
01:14:04,614 --> 01:14:07,486
Ah, here we are, in the event
of a level-five stalemate--
1811
01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:08,705
What?
1812
01:14:08,835 --> 01:14:11,011
where the rap battle
round does not apply--
1813
01:14:11,142 --> 01:14:12,448
And I have--
1814
01:14:12,578 --> 01:14:13,710
DANDY:
And the player is wearing
the appropriate
1815
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,800
multiplier medallion,
in that instance,
1816
01:14:16,930 --> 01:14:19,237
the game is no longer
live, stroke, in play.
1817
01:14:19,367 --> 01:14:20,499
It is paused.
1818
01:14:20,630 --> 01:14:24,372
So Laika decides
the outcome using...
1819
01:14:26,244 --> 01:14:28,681
here we are, method four.
1820
01:14:29,813 --> 01:14:32,206
Okay, okay, these are the rules.
1821
01:14:32,337 --> 01:14:34,513
Two barks, I win. Write it down.
1822
01:14:34,644 --> 01:14:35,993
Two barks, I win.
1823
01:14:38,125 --> 01:14:39,736
Laika, if you please.
1824
01:14:42,129 --> 01:14:43,217
[LAIKA BARKS]
1825
01:14:43,348 --> 01:14:45,002
- Yes.
- No, hold, hold, hold.
1826
01:14:45,132 --> 01:14:47,047
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1827
01:14:47,178 --> 01:14:50,007
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1828
01:14:52,923 --> 01:14:53,706
[LAIKA BARKS]
1829
01:14:53,837 --> 01:14:56,100
Ah, two barks, woof, woof,
I win.
1830
01:14:56,230 --> 01:14:58,755
Oh, well,
better luck next time, Trace.
1831
01:14:58,885 --> 01:15:01,235
AVIATOR:
In some ways, the game
is too simple,
1832
01:15:01,366 --> 01:15:03,194
but that's what makes
it so perfect.
1833
01:15:03,324 --> 01:15:04,238
[LAUGHS]
1834
01:15:04,369 --> 01:15:06,284
Thanks, loser.
1835
01:15:06,414 --> 01:15:08,112
Place your bets
for the next round.
1836
01:15:08,242 --> 01:15:10,506
I love the next round.
1837
01:15:10,636 --> 01:15:13,726
[CHAINS CLANGING]
1838
01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:17,817
[BODY THUDDING]
1839
01:15:17,948 --> 01:15:19,253
Fuck.
1840
01:15:19,384 --> 01:15:23,693
[CHAINS CLANGING]
1841
01:15:23,823 --> 01:15:26,522
[ITEMS CLATTERING]
1842
01:15:28,436 --> 01:15:29,263
A new player.
1843
01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:32,963
If you've come to
join the game, my dear,
1844
01:15:33,093 --> 01:15:35,356
you need to buy in.
1845
01:15:35,487 --> 01:15:36,619
You may have heard of the game.
1846
01:15:36,749 --> 01:15:38,272
It was my idea.
1847
01:15:38,403 --> 01:15:41,580
It's become famous
across the Expanse.
1848
01:15:41,711 --> 01:15:45,628
Many have come in search of it,
all of them wishing to play.
1849
01:15:45,758 --> 01:15:46,890
Uh, no, actually.
1850
01:15:47,020 --> 01:15:50,241
This is the only thing
to do in the Expanse.
1851
01:15:50,371 --> 01:15:51,459
Sorry, I thought
this was the Unreason.
1852
01:15:51,590 --> 01:15:53,113
Is this not the Unreason?
1853
01:15:53,244 --> 01:15:55,463
AVIATOR:
Ignore her. Let's play.
1854
01:15:55,594 --> 01:15:58,031
Oh, come on. You must play.
1855
01:15:58,162 --> 01:15:59,119
You'll love it.
1856
01:15:59,250 --> 01:16:01,469
The rules are quite simple.
1857
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:04,168
NARRATOR:
Basically, the game came about
as a way to pass the time.
1858
01:16:04,298 --> 01:16:08,259
It currently has 94,332 rounds
with unique multiplayer
1859
01:16:08,389 --> 01:16:11,262
and single-player subsections,
skill-Based specialism,
1860
01:16:11,392 --> 01:16:13,394
chance modifiers and forfeits.
1861
01:16:13,525 --> 01:16:16,267
The aim is to exchange game
progress for game tokens,
1862
01:16:16,397 --> 01:16:18,138
swap game tokens for game cards,
1863
01:16:18,269 --> 01:16:20,358
trade game cards
for game progress.
1864
01:16:20,488 --> 01:16:22,273
All wagers are final,
the rules are the rules,
1865
01:16:22,403 --> 01:16:25,232
and what a game, what a game.
1866
01:16:25,363 --> 01:16:26,930
You'll pick it up in no time.
1867
01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:29,628
Just be careful not
to get into hock.
1868
01:16:29,759 --> 01:16:33,893
Otherwise, you might end up
in the slammer like Megan.
1869
01:16:35,678 --> 01:16:37,201
AVIATOR:
Are we playing or chatting?
1870
01:16:37,331 --> 01:16:38,419
RUTH:
Megan!
1871
01:16:38,550 --> 01:16:41,118
Megan, you're alive.
You're okay.
1872
01:16:41,248 --> 01:16:43,773
I could trade you 15 tokens
for a black triangle card.
1873
01:16:43,903 --> 01:16:45,122
What?
1874
01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:46,297
MEGAN:
A black triangle.
1875
01:16:46,427 --> 01:16:49,605
- Are you okay, Meegs?
- She lost everything.
1876
01:16:49,735 --> 01:16:52,390
She's been down over 100 points
for 10 years.
1877
01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:53,609
I came as quickly as I could.
1878
01:16:53,739 --> 01:16:57,656
I can't see things getting
better for her, sadly.
1879
01:16:58,962 --> 01:17:00,224
MEGAN:
Oh, nice.
1880
01:17:00,354 --> 01:17:01,355
You like it?
1881
01:17:01,486 --> 01:17:02,139
- You remember?
- MEGAN: Mm.
1882
01:17:02,269 --> 01:17:03,706
It's vintage.
1883
01:17:03,836 --> 01:17:06,143
Trade you 15 tokens for it.
1884
01:17:06,273 --> 01:17:08,885
You don't normally buy stuff,
Meegs.
1885
01:17:09,015 --> 01:17:09,842
Ruth?
1886
01:17:09,973 --> 01:17:11,148
Yes, that's right. It's me.
1887
01:17:11,278 --> 01:17:12,149
Remember me.
1888
01:17:13,193 --> 01:17:14,151
- Ruth?
- Yeah?
1889
01:17:15,413 --> 01:17:16,544
- Listen.
- Yes.
1890
01:17:18,895 --> 01:17:20,157
Do you have
a black triangle card?
1891
01:17:20,287 --> 01:17:21,767
I need to get back in the game.
1892
01:17:21,898 --> 01:17:25,379
I, I had one, but this
octopus guy called Gavin,
1893
01:17:25,510 --> 01:17:26,816
he took, took it off me and--
1894
01:17:26,946 --> 01:17:27,904
I'm getting you out of here.
This place is hell.
1895
01:17:28,034 --> 01:17:29,732
But it, but it's,
it's a really good game.
1896
01:17:29,862 --> 01:17:30,907
RUTH:
No, we're going.
1897
01:17:31,037 --> 01:17:33,823
Oh, no you don't.
She's in timeout.
1898
01:17:33,953 --> 01:17:35,085
The rules say so.
1899
01:17:38,566 --> 01:17:40,699
[GUN CLANKING]
1900
01:17:42,353 --> 01:17:44,268
AVIATOR:
Oh, a gun.
1901
01:17:45,530 --> 01:17:47,358
She's got a gun.
1902
01:17:47,488 --> 01:17:49,577
She's got a gun, everyone.
1903
01:17:49,708 --> 01:17:51,579
Shoot me. Shoot me first.
1904
01:17:51,710 --> 01:17:52,580
Shoot, shoot, shoot me.
1905
01:17:52,711 --> 01:17:53,581
- Shoot me.
- No, shoot me.
1906
01:17:53,712 --> 01:17:55,105
- No, shoot me.
- Shoot me.
1907
01:17:55,235 --> 01:17:56,715
- Shoot me.
- Shoot me.
1908
01:17:56,846 --> 01:17:58,674
A bullet in the head,
shoot me, please.
1909
01:17:58,804 --> 01:18:00,937
- Please.
- Shoot me first.
1910
01:18:01,067 --> 01:18:02,547
- Please, please shoot me.
- Please, please.
1911
01:18:02,678 --> 01:18:04,288
Shush, shush,
shush, shush, shush.
1912
01:18:04,418 --> 01:18:06,290
Not getting out of the game
that easily.
1913
01:18:06,420 --> 01:18:07,073
What's going on?
1914
01:18:07,204 --> 01:18:07,987
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1915
01:18:08,118 --> 01:18:10,120
Okay, uh, okay, I've got it.
1916
01:18:10,250 --> 01:18:11,817
Put the gun in as a wager.
1917
01:18:11,948 --> 01:18:13,297
That can be your buy-in.
1918
01:18:13,427 --> 01:18:14,124
I don't wanna play.
1919
01:18:14,254 --> 01:18:15,908
I just want to get Megan.
1920
01:18:16,039 --> 01:18:18,476
The game has winners
as well as losers.
1921
01:18:18,606 --> 01:18:20,696
Captain got to drink the
poison a few round ago.
1922
01:18:20,826 --> 01:18:22,132
[CAPTAIN GRUNTING]
1923
01:18:22,262 --> 01:18:23,568
Sadly, it wasn't enough.
1924
01:18:23,699 --> 01:18:26,266
What sort of sick game is this?
1925
01:18:27,398 --> 01:18:29,443
It's immersive.
1926
01:18:29,574 --> 01:18:32,011
No, no, Ruth, it's a trick.
1927
01:18:32,142 --> 01:18:34,840
Shall I put you down for
a cheeky little round, Ruth?
1928
01:18:34,971 --> 01:18:36,842
No, Ruth, shoot me first.
1929
01:18:36,973 --> 01:18:39,627
This round, we'll release
the dice from the tower.
1930
01:18:39,758 --> 01:18:43,501
If there's a total odd
dice score, she goes free.
1931
01:18:43,631 --> 01:18:47,113
However, if there's an
even score, I get the gun,
1932
01:18:47,244 --> 01:18:49,420
and you join her in lockup.
1933
01:18:49,550 --> 01:18:50,856
Um.
1934
01:18:50,987 --> 01:18:53,598
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1935
01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,513
PETER:
They allow the wearer
1936
01:18:55,643 --> 01:18:58,298
to see about a minute into
the future, give or take.
1937
01:18:58,429 --> 01:19:01,040
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1938
01:19:01,171 --> 01:19:02,738
RUTH:
Can I just, can I just
check something quickly,
1939
01:19:02,868 --> 01:19:04,174
and then I'll, um, uh?
1940
01:19:06,002 --> 01:19:07,351
[TONE BLARING]
1941
01:19:07,481 --> 01:19:08,787
I'm just gonna have a look.
1942
01:19:09,919 --> 01:19:10,789
What's going on?
1943
01:19:12,225 --> 01:19:14,619
RUTH:
Five, six, seven.
1944
01:19:18,188 --> 01:19:19,842
- What is she doing?
- I don't really know.
1945
01:19:19,972 --> 01:19:23,497
And then 10, and hang on,
so can you not count?
1946
01:19:23,628 --> 01:19:25,282
'Cause I can't concentrate.
1947
01:19:25,412 --> 01:19:26,283
Sorry, sorry.
1948
01:19:28,938 --> 01:19:29,895
53, oh, okay.
1949
01:19:33,507 --> 01:19:35,553
- AVIATOR: What are you doing?
- Oh, sorry, one second.
1950
01:19:35,683 --> 01:19:38,295
I just need
to check something, um.
1951
01:19:39,644 --> 01:19:40,863
What is she checking?
1952
01:19:40,993 --> 01:19:43,474
- I don't know.
- RUTH: Oh, there they are, that.
1953
01:19:43,604 --> 01:19:46,172
Okay, yeah, okay, okay,
let's do it.
1954
01:19:46,303 --> 01:19:47,173
Let's play.
1955
01:19:47,304 --> 01:19:48,740
[GUN CLANKING]
1956
01:19:48,871 --> 01:19:50,133
Let's play.
1957
01:19:50,263 --> 01:19:52,657
Let's play.
We have a new player.
1958
01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:53,832
She's called Ruth.
1959
01:19:53,963 --> 01:19:56,574
We have a new player, everyone.
1960
01:19:56,704 --> 01:19:58,315
Here we go Place your bets,
place your bets.
1961
01:19:58,445 --> 01:20:00,404
The game, the game
1962
01:20:00,534 --> 01:20:02,754
The game, what a game
1963
01:20:02,885 --> 01:20:04,930
[BELL RINGING]
1964
01:20:05,061 --> 01:20:06,714
[CHIPS CLANKING]
1965
01:20:06,845 --> 01:20:09,065
[machine whirring]
1966
01:20:10,675 --> 01:20:13,286
[BALLS RATTLING]
1967
01:20:15,071 --> 01:20:16,202
[COINS CLINKING]
1968
01:20:16,333 --> 01:20:17,464
[BELL RINGING]
1969
01:20:17,595 --> 01:20:21,033
Everyone, uh, we are
about to release the dice.
1970
01:20:22,426 --> 01:20:24,907
No more bets,
release the dice.
1971
01:20:26,343 --> 01:20:27,474
Stop playing.
1972
01:20:28,432 --> 01:20:32,392
[MACHINE CLATTERING
AND SQUEAKING]
1973
01:20:33,916 --> 01:20:38,050
[COGS TURNING]
1974
01:20:40,923 --> 01:20:43,795
[DICE RATTLING]
1975
01:20:46,189 --> 01:20:48,931
[PLAYFUL MUSIC]
1976
01:20:49,061 --> 01:20:50,715
- 17.
- 17.
1977
01:20:52,282 --> 01:20:53,587
- 32.
- 32.
1978
01:20:53,936 --> 01:20:55,676
- 87.
- 87.
1979
01:20:56,547 --> 01:20:58,679
- 32.
- 32.
1980
01:20:59,767 --> 01:21:00,551
- 15.
- 15.
1981
01:21:00,681 --> 01:21:01,160
11.
1982
01:21:01,291 --> 01:21:02,901
- 84.
- 84.
1983
01:21:04,207 --> 01:21:05,469
86.
1984
01:21:05,599 --> 01:21:06,949
Shoot me!
1985
01:21:07,079 --> 01:21:08,385
[TELEPHONE WINDING]
1986
01:21:08,515 --> 01:21:09,995
Hello.
1987
01:21:10,126 --> 01:21:11,954
23, thank you.
1988
01:21:12,868 --> 01:21:14,695
How are things your end
of the table?
1989
01:21:14,826 --> 01:21:17,698
Excellent, well done,
well done. [LAUGHS]
1990
01:21:17,829 --> 01:21:20,179
Yes, yes, yes, gotta go
1991
01:21:20,310 --> 01:21:23,530
Gotta to go, yes Stephan,
bye-bye, au revoir.
1992
01:21:23,661 --> 01:21:25,663
[PHONE RINGING]
1993
01:21:25,793 --> 01:21:27,056
Hi, Rosamund.
1994
01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:29,232
Oh, that's so crazy.
1995
01:21:29,362 --> 01:21:30,015
Oh.
1996
01:21:31,103 --> 01:21:32,191
One.
1997
01:21:32,322 --> 01:21:33,801
One, the result is
1998
01:21:37,805 --> 01:21:40,983
even, yes, even.
1999
01:21:41,113 --> 01:21:42,767
Sorry, Ruth.
2000
01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:43,681
- No, no, no, no, that's--
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
2001
01:21:43,811 --> 01:21:45,335
Doesn't make sense
2002
01:21:45,465 --> 01:21:46,597
[BELL RINGING]
2003
01:21:46,727 --> 01:21:47,554
This is where you go
and get locked up
2004
01:21:47,685 --> 01:21:48,425
with those other losers.
2005
01:21:48,555 --> 01:21:49,730
- No, but sorry.
- Leave now.
2006
01:21:49,861 --> 01:21:51,558
I didn't actually understand
how to play this game,
2007
01:21:51,689 --> 01:21:53,430
so I don't think it's very fair
that you can just do that
2008
01:21:53,560 --> 01:21:54,083
to somebody.
2009
01:21:54,213 --> 01:21:55,519
Oh, hang on. What?
2010
01:21:55,649 --> 01:21:57,390
Oh, what is that?
2011
01:21:57,521 --> 01:22:00,698
Oh, it's a 3. Does that count?
2012
01:22:01,307 --> 01:22:02,221
[PLAYERS GASPING]
2013
01:22:02,352 --> 01:22:04,876
[♪]
2014
01:22:05,007 --> 01:22:06,791
Okay.
2015
01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:08,662
Nobody panic.
2016
01:22:08,793 --> 01:22:11,709
Let's just look at the rules,
shall we?
2017
01:22:12,666 --> 01:22:14,364
[PAPER RUSTLING]
2018
01:22:14,494 --> 01:22:18,542
[♪]
2019
01:22:23,068 --> 01:22:25,810
[ITEMS CLATTERING]
2020
01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:28,726
[SCREAMING]
2021
01:22:29,379 --> 01:22:30,771
AVIATOR:
I win, I win.
2022
01:22:30,902 --> 01:22:32,643
- I always win.
- I'll get ya.
2023
01:22:32,773 --> 01:22:35,646
[ITEMS CLATTERING]
2024
01:22:38,214 --> 01:22:42,392
You're not listening,
you're not listening.
2025
01:22:42,522 --> 01:22:44,785
[SCREAMING]
2026
01:22:44,916 --> 01:22:47,658
[GLASS SHATTERING]
2027
01:22:49,573 --> 01:22:52,184
[PLAYERS SCREAMING]
2028
01:22:52,315 --> 01:22:54,186
[♪]
2029
01:22:54,317 --> 01:22:55,535
[BOTTLE SMASHING]
2030
01:22:55,666 --> 01:22:56,797
There's chaos.
2031
01:22:59,365 --> 01:23:00,932
Chaos, all is chaos.
2032
01:23:02,542 --> 01:23:05,763
Where's Megan?
Where's Megan gone?
2033
01:23:05,893 --> 01:23:09,201
[♪]
2034
01:23:09,332 --> 01:23:11,334
Leave it now,
haven't got time for this.
2035
01:23:16,078 --> 01:23:18,123
[FOOTSTEPS PLODDING]
2036
01:23:18,254 --> 01:23:21,039
I think it's around here
somewhere.
2037
01:23:21,170 --> 01:23:21,909
[SWITCH CLICKING]
2038
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:24,651
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
2039
01:23:32,920 --> 01:23:35,662
This is a 1984
Reverchon Privilege.
2040
01:23:38,796 --> 01:23:40,667
This is our time machine.
2041
01:23:44,454 --> 01:23:45,542
You came to save me.
2042
01:23:45,672 --> 01:23:47,761
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
2043
01:23:47,892 --> 01:23:50,503
Meegs, I'm so sorry I
was a dick to you before.
2044
01:23:50,634 --> 01:23:53,680
I mean, I was 16, you know.
2045
01:23:53,811 --> 01:23:57,119
I thought you were you just,
like, in a 16-year-old's body.
2046
01:23:59,251 --> 01:24:03,168
Yeah,
but I know it's a bit weird.
2047
01:24:03,299 --> 01:24:05,866
The thing is, I just
was on a high, you know.
2048
01:24:05,997 --> 01:24:08,043
Like, I, I felt like people
were interested in me,
2049
01:24:08,173 --> 01:24:10,654
and I had energy, and I wanted
to stay up late and do stuff.
2050
01:24:10,784 --> 01:24:13,439
And, like, I just felt like
I had confidence, you know?
2051
01:24:13,570 --> 01:24:15,267
And I didn't wanna think
about all the stuff
2052
01:24:15,398 --> 01:24:16,964
I normally worry about,
which I do.
2053
01:24:17,095 --> 01:24:18,966
I worry all the time.
2054
01:24:19,097 --> 01:24:20,925
I mean, fucking look at me.
2055
01:24:21,056 --> 01:24:22,361
Megan,
you're the one who does stuff.
2056
01:24:22,492 --> 01:24:24,494
You can stand up on a surfboard.
2057
01:24:24,624 --> 01:24:26,322
Like, I can't do that stuff.
2058
01:24:26,452 --> 01:24:27,671
And I'm just the one
in the background
2059
01:24:27,801 --> 01:24:29,586
fucking sorting out
the bills and--
2060
01:24:29,716 --> 01:24:31,501
Ruth,
what you do is really important.
2061
01:24:31,631 --> 01:24:33,242
We're a team.
2062
01:24:33,372 --> 01:24:35,679
You crossed the whole
intermenstrual diaphragm
2063
01:24:35,809 --> 01:24:37,333
to come and save me.
2064
01:24:37,463 --> 01:24:39,161
You've got this.
2065
01:24:39,291 --> 01:24:40,727
I'm proud and--
2066
01:24:40,858 --> 01:24:42,164
RUTH:
Well, I mean,
I wasn't gonna leave you there.
2067
01:24:42,294 --> 01:24:43,295
Proud and surprised.
2068
01:24:43,426 --> 01:24:45,732
[RUTH LAUGHING]
2069
01:24:45,863 --> 01:24:47,517
I did do it, though, didn't I?
2070
01:24:47,647 --> 01:24:48,779
I did. I did it.
2071
01:24:49,997 --> 01:24:51,260
I know
2072
01:24:53,653 --> 01:24:57,092
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
2073
01:24:57,222 --> 01:24:58,223
- Okay, let's go.
- Go, go, go.
2074
01:24:58,354 --> 01:25:00,443
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
2075
01:25:06,362 --> 01:25:09,191
- Why's it not going?
- Why's it not working?
2076
01:25:09,321 --> 01:25:10,366
- What?
- Hang on.
2077
01:25:10,496 --> 01:25:11,671
Maybe I have to put
the, no, I've done that.
2078
01:25:11,802 --> 01:25:13,282
- I don't understand.
- Ruth, Ruth.
2079
01:25:13,412 --> 01:25:15,066
- Oh, my God. This isn't--
- Ruth.
2080
01:25:15,197 --> 01:25:16,633
- The time for it to not work.
- Ruth.
2081
01:25:16,763 --> 01:25:18,156
- PETER: Ruth.
- What?
2082
01:25:18,287 --> 01:25:21,290
If it all goes wrong, all
you need to do is turn it off,
2083
01:25:21,420 --> 01:25:22,943
turn it back on again.
2084
01:25:23,074 --> 01:25:24,728
I think we need to turn it off
and back on again.
2085
01:25:24,858 --> 01:25:27,731
Would you like to go
for a drink with me sometime?
2086
01:25:27,861 --> 01:25:28,862
Ruth.
2087
01:25:28,993 --> 01:25:29,689
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
2088
01:25:29,820 --> 01:25:31,300
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
2089
01:25:31,430 --> 01:25:33,737
[CREATURE GROWLING]
2090
01:25:33,867 --> 01:25:34,912
What the fuck is that?
2091
01:25:35,042 --> 01:25:37,306
[MEGAN SCREAMS]
2092
01:25:37,436 --> 01:25:39,046
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
2093
01:25:39,177 --> 01:25:39,873
[SCREAMING]
2094
01:25:40,004 --> 01:25:41,179
Bugger me
2095
01:25:41,310 --> 01:25:42,789
[BOTH SCREAMING]
2096
01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:43,964
[CREATURE CLICKING]
2097
01:25:44,095 --> 01:25:45,966
Ruth, you forgot your winnings.
2098
01:25:46,097 --> 01:25:47,359
That was just part of the game
2099
01:25:47,490 --> 01:25:49,448
where we fight each other, Ruth.
2100
01:25:49,579 --> 01:25:52,016
Shit, they've gone.
2101
01:25:52,147 --> 01:25:55,280
Gavin, could you not run any
faster with all those legs?
2102
01:25:55,411 --> 01:25:57,239
More legs does not equal
more speed.
2103
01:25:57,369 --> 01:25:59,980
I think I remember
where we were in the game.
2104
01:26:00,111 --> 01:26:02,679
GAVIN:
They all get tangled
it's a nightmare.
2105
01:26:02,809 --> 01:26:03,897
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
2106
01:26:04,028 --> 01:26:06,030
[BODY THUDDING]
2107
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,901
A new player.
2108
01:26:08,032 --> 01:26:10,469
Oh we're going to be
such good friends.
2109
01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:12,079
Welcome to the Unreason.
2110
01:26:12,210 --> 01:26:14,081
You're stuck here forever.
2111
01:26:14,212 --> 01:26:15,474
But you're in luck.
2112
01:26:15,605 --> 01:26:18,738
I've devised an excellent
way to pass the time.
2113
01:26:18,869 --> 01:26:21,785
What a game, what a game,
what a game. [LAUGHS]
2114
01:26:21,915 --> 01:26:23,787
[RICK WHIMPERING]
2115
01:26:23,917 --> 01:26:28,270
[♪]
2116
01:26:34,841 --> 01:26:36,147
[TIME MACHINE WHIRRING]
2117
01:26:36,278 --> 01:26:37,583
RUTH:
We're back. We did it.
We did it. We're back.
2118
01:26:37,714 --> 01:26:38,584
We're in the mews.
2119
01:26:38,715 --> 01:26:40,891
[BOTH LAUGHING]
2120
01:26:41,021 --> 01:26:42,719
Yes.
2121
01:26:42,849 --> 01:26:44,503
Megan, perfect timing.
2122
01:26:44,634 --> 01:26:48,203
Wait till you see what I've
found for ya, Venetian mask.
2123
01:26:49,813 --> 01:26:50,944
These are really rare.
2124
01:26:51,075 --> 01:26:52,424
It's yours for a pound.
2125
01:26:52,555 --> 01:26:54,383
I, Brenda,
I don't want the mask.
2126
01:26:54,513 --> 01:26:55,906
You don't find these every day.
2127
01:26:56,036 --> 01:26:58,343
- No, Brenda.
- 75 pence.
2128
01:26:58,474 --> 01:27:00,650
♪ Woooooow
2129
01:27:00,780 --> 01:27:02,347
[CROWD CHEERING]
2130
01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:07,396
♪ Oh baby I don't care
2131
01:27:08,310 --> 01:27:11,400
♪ Oh baby I don't care
2132
01:27:12,444 --> 01:27:14,838
[ARMOUR RATTLING]
2133
01:27:14,968 --> 01:27:16,796
♪ Well you can give me
all your love ♪
2134
01:27:16,927 --> 01:27:21,061
♪ And anything else
you got too ♪
2135
01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:24,891
♪ But don't pay it any mind
2136
01:27:25,022 --> 01:27:27,764
Will the peasants please stop
going mad on the buffet?
2137
01:27:29,809 --> 01:27:33,683
♪ You don't have to say
you love me ♪
2138
01:27:33,813 --> 01:27:38,165
♪ And you don't have
to say any prayers ♪
2139
01:27:38,296 --> 01:27:41,168
Thank you for all your help,
Robert.
2140
01:27:43,083 --> 01:27:45,956
I'm sorry I,
I sort of ignored you on,
2141
01:27:46,086 --> 01:27:48,785
on the show all those years ago.
2142
01:27:50,830 --> 01:27:55,357
But I, I think I, I,
I was a bit nervous,
2143
01:27:56,488 --> 01:27:58,316
you know, a bit in awe...
2144
01:27:59,622 --> 01:28:01,667
of all that you'd achieved.
2145
01:28:03,452 --> 01:28:04,714
It's all right.
2146
01:28:04,844 --> 01:28:13,679
[♪]
2147
01:28:17,770 --> 01:28:19,903
Botty was always my favourite.
2148
01:28:27,389 --> 01:28:30,435
♪ But there's just one thing
2149
01:28:30,566 --> 01:28:33,351
♪ You don't have to say
2150
01:28:34,874 --> 01:28:38,878
♪ You don't have to say
you love me ♪
2151
01:28:39,009 --> 01:28:42,752
♪ And you don't have to say
any prayers ♪
2152
01:28:42,882 --> 01:28:45,929
♪ No you don't have to say
you love me ♪
2153
01:28:46,059 --> 01:28:48,714
Like those, um,
future vision things
2154
01:28:48,845 --> 01:28:51,151
and the, the flying shoes.
2155
01:28:51,282 --> 01:28:54,546
It's amazing, really brilliant,
actually, brilliant stuff.
2156
01:28:54,677 --> 01:28:56,809
Could I just, uh, have
the microphone for a sec?
2157
01:28:56,940 --> 01:28:57,767
Thank you very much.
2158
01:29:00,465 --> 01:29:03,686
Uh, um, sorry, this, this
will only take a minute.
2159
01:29:03,816 --> 01:29:07,080
Um, uh, I just wanted
to thank you all
2160
01:29:07,211 --> 01:29:09,474
for coming to the meeting.
2161
01:29:09,605 --> 01:29:11,563
Technically, it's not a meeting.
2162
01:29:11,694 --> 01:29:12,956
It's a party.
2163
01:29:13,086 --> 01:29:14,087
[LAUGHS]
2164
01:29:14,218 --> 01:29:18,178
Um, for those of you
who don't know me,
2165
01:29:18,309 --> 01:29:21,225
I've been chairman of this
august society for a while.
2166
01:29:21,356 --> 01:29:24,533
But it's time for me
to hand over the reins.
2167
01:29:24,663 --> 01:29:27,971
I will, in fact,
still be a member.
2168
01:29:29,364 --> 01:29:34,630
Um, but Valerie will be
your new chairperson.
2169
01:29:36,675 --> 01:29:39,374
But before I go,
I did just want to say...
2170
01:29:40,636 --> 01:29:41,854
thank you for having me.
2171
01:29:43,856 --> 01:29:45,075
And it has been...
2172
01:29:48,252 --> 01:29:49,862
it has been a pleasure...
2173
01:29:51,647 --> 01:29:53,126
and an honour.
2174
01:29:55,607 --> 01:29:59,002
So thank you very much
and good luck, Valerie.
2175
01:29:59,132 --> 01:30:00,220
Hooray.
2176
01:30:00,351 --> 01:30:02,005
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
2177
01:30:02,135 --> 01:30:04,442
[HAPPY MUSIC]
2178
01:30:05,922 --> 01:30:08,272
♪ Let's travel back in time
2179
01:30:08,403 --> 01:30:09,795
Big round of applause
for that guy.
2180
01:30:09,926 --> 01:30:11,841
We have a horse and chariot
parked
2181
01:30:11,971 --> 01:30:13,669
on double yellows outside.
2182
01:30:13,799 --> 01:30:17,150
Can we please get it shifted
from the venue?
2183
01:30:18,369 --> 01:30:19,152
What have you got?
2184
01:30:19,283 --> 01:30:21,590
[GENTLE MUSIC]
2185
01:30:21,720 --> 01:30:24,419
MARTIN:
Uh, I think, well, you could
take them away for a free try.
2186
01:30:24,549 --> 01:30:26,595
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
2187
01:30:26,725 --> 01:30:27,944
CUSTOMER:
Is this one minute
into the future?
2188
01:30:28,074 --> 01:30:30,163
I do accept American USD,
2189
01:30:30,294 --> 01:30:32,949
American dollars or pounds,
no euros.
2190
01:30:33,079 --> 01:30:35,778
Then, this one gathers
your noodles.
2191
01:30:38,041 --> 01:30:38,911
CUSTOMER:
Wow.
2192
01:30:39,042 --> 01:30:40,870
It says what it does on the tin.
2193
01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:42,219
Well, we're just selling,
2194
01:30:42,349 --> 01:30:44,047
they're selling
some of their inventions.
2195
01:30:44,177 --> 01:30:47,572
We're just selling some
of our things we've found, um--
2196
01:30:47,703 --> 01:30:48,921
To raise money.
2197
01:30:49,052 --> 01:30:50,488
Yeah, we're raising money for--
2198
01:30:50,619 --> 01:30:52,490
MEGAN:
For our new headquarters.
2199
01:30:52,621 --> 01:30:55,754
And I declare
our new headquarters open.
2200
01:30:56,929 --> 01:30:57,756
[SCISSORS RASPING]
2201
01:30:57,887 --> 01:31:00,759
[MEMBERS CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
2202
01:31:00,890 --> 01:31:01,717
[LAUGHING]
2203
01:31:01,847 --> 01:31:03,153
Whoo.
2204
01:31:03,283 --> 01:31:05,895
[CHATTERING]
2205
01:31:07,810 --> 01:31:08,506
[TOY MEOWING]
2206
01:31:08,637 --> 01:31:09,420
Shut up.
2207
01:31:12,641 --> 01:31:14,425
Well, emotionally, I couldn't
afford to part with it,
2208
01:31:14,556 --> 01:31:16,209
and financially,
you couldn't afford it.
2209
01:31:16,340 --> 01:31:20,083
So it's kind of like
a rebranding.
2210
01:31:20,213 --> 01:31:22,694
It's now the British
Research Engineering
2211
01:31:22,825 --> 01:31:24,522
and Scientific Thought Society.
2212
01:31:24,653 --> 01:31:26,568
It's a little bit
more inclusive. Um--
2213
01:31:26,698 --> 01:31:27,656
RUTH:
It's a lot more inclusive.
2214
01:31:27,786 --> 01:31:29,092
There's more women,
for starters.
2215
01:31:29,222 --> 01:31:31,442
- MEGAN: Yeah.
- RUTH: Much more balanced.
2216
01:31:31,573 --> 01:31:33,662
There, don't smudge it.
That's right.
2217
01:31:33,792 --> 01:31:34,793
RUTH:
Too much testosterone before.
2218
01:31:34,924 --> 01:31:36,491
- Yeah, much too much.
- Yeah.
2219
01:31:36,621 --> 01:31:38,928
PETER:
A powerful jet engine.
2220
01:31:39,058 --> 01:31:43,889
I mean, they're good fun,
but they're, you might die.
2221
01:31:44,020 --> 01:31:46,457
But you might die
crossing the road.
2222
01:31:46,588 --> 01:31:47,458
What do you think?
2223
01:31:47,589 --> 01:31:49,155
Would you like to purchase
one, uh?
2224
01:31:49,286 --> 01:31:51,027
[ROCKET BOOT WHIRRING]
2225
01:31:51,157 --> 01:31:52,550
CUSTOMER:
Uh.
2226
01:31:52,681 --> 01:31:55,597
- PETER: Do you?
- I can't see you, so.
2227
01:31:55,727 --> 01:31:56,641
'Cause I can still see it.
2228
01:31:56,772 --> 01:31:58,164
I can still--
2229
01:31:58,295 --> 01:32:01,037
Uh. Any sort of particular
branch of engineering
2230
01:32:01,167 --> 01:32:03,474
and scientific research
interests?
2231
01:32:03,605 --> 01:32:05,215
Well, Val's in charge now,
which is brilliant.
2232
01:32:05,345 --> 01:32:06,651
MEGAN:
We have more fun.
2233
01:32:06,782 --> 01:32:08,174
Uh, these are the new members.
2234
01:32:08,305 --> 01:32:09,567
Oh, great, thank you.
2235
01:32:09,698 --> 01:32:11,047
[PAPER RUSTLING]
2236
01:32:11,177 --> 01:32:12,744
Oh, no, Max is on here, though.
2237
01:32:12,875 --> 01:32:14,964
Well, yes, it turns out
his machine does work.
2238
01:32:17,270 --> 01:32:20,752
[♪]
2239
01:32:22,232 --> 01:32:24,756
They let me in the club.
I'm in.
2240
01:32:24,887 --> 01:32:27,629
Wonders will never cease,
very good.
2241
01:32:31,546 --> 01:32:40,424
[♪]
2242
01:32:48,475 --> 01:32:51,740
NARRATOR:
Sometime later, we checked
back in with Ruth and Megan
2243
01:32:51,870 --> 01:32:54,046
to see how they were getting on.
2244
01:32:54,177 --> 01:32:55,961
I was really scared because
they were saying, like,
2245
01:32:56,092 --> 01:32:58,703
"You've got, like,
a 90% chance of dying,"
2246
01:32:58,834 --> 01:33:00,531
but at the end of the day,
it was either gonna happen
2247
01:33:00,662 --> 01:33:01,619
or it wasn't, so--
2248
01:33:01,750 --> 01:33:03,926
- Mm, mm.
- It's always 50-50, isn't it?
2249
01:33:04,056 --> 01:33:05,928
You could say that you getting
stuck in the asshole of time
2250
01:33:06,058 --> 01:33:07,843
actually has brought
everyone closer together.
2251
01:33:07,973 --> 01:33:09,235
- Mm-Hmm, um.
- And it gave
2252
01:33:09,366 --> 01:33:10,889
Ralph and Botty happy endings.
2253
01:33:11,020 --> 01:33:12,412
- Mm.
- Uh.
2254
01:33:14,632 --> 01:33:16,242
MEGAN:
They finally got
to travel back in time.
2255
01:33:16,373 --> 01:33:18,027
They just went down memory lane.
2256
01:33:18,157 --> 01:33:19,811
This is all theoretical.
2257
01:33:19,942 --> 01:33:22,553
Um, time travel
is completely impossible.
2258
01:33:22,684 --> 01:33:24,599
I mean, who are you to say
what's possible?
2259
01:33:24,729 --> 01:33:27,558
Well, if a time machine
had been invented,
2260
01:33:27,689 --> 01:33:30,082
then surely, time travellers
from the future would've come
2261
01:33:30,213 --> 01:33:31,562
back to visit us.
2262
01:33:31,693 --> 01:33:34,347
[RALPH LAUGHING]
Well, she's got you there.
2263
01:33:34,478 --> 01:33:35,566
[VALERIE AND RALPH LAUGHING]
2264
01:33:35,697 --> 01:33:37,307
[BOTTY LAUGHING]
2265
01:33:37,437 --> 01:33:39,265
- BOTTY: How's she got me?
- RALPH: Yes.
2266
01:33:39,396 --> 01:33:42,747
RALPH:
Well, thank you for coming
to talk to us today, Valerie.
2267
01:33:42,878 --> 01:33:43,922
Valerie?
2268
01:33:44,053 --> 01:33:45,489
I said how's she got me?
2269
01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:48,361
Um, uh, no, thank you, uh,
uh, of course, no problem.
2270
01:33:48,492 --> 01:33:49,841
[LAUGHS]
Yes, thank you, Ralph.
2271
01:33:49,972 --> 01:33:51,060
And, and thank you, Botty.
2272
01:33:51,190 --> 01:33:52,888
[LAUGHS]
Thank you.
2273
01:33:53,018 --> 01:33:56,239
See you next time on
"The Future, Today."
2274
01:33:56,369 --> 01:33:59,416
- Thank you.
- Good night.
2275
01:33:59,546 --> 01:34:01,374
RUTH:
The fracture still opens up.
2276
01:34:01,505 --> 01:34:03,420
We've got this system now
where we've actually used it
2277
01:34:03,550 --> 01:34:04,203
to our advantage.
2278
01:34:04,334 --> 01:34:05,509
Yeah.
2279
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:07,119
So we've, we've got this
wardrobe in front of it.
2280
01:34:07,250 --> 01:34:11,297
MEGAN:
Which basically houses
the portal to the storage,
2281
01:34:11,428 --> 01:34:12,385
you know, just a little bit more
2282
01:34:12,516 --> 01:34:14,039
health and safety conscious.
2283
01:34:14,170 --> 01:34:15,171
- Brilliant.
- MEGAN: Really handy.
2284
01:34:15,301 --> 01:34:16,912
- It's brilliant.
- MEGAN: Yeah.
2285
01:34:17,042 --> 01:34:18,957
RUTH:
And we're able to chuck stuff
in there.
2286
01:34:19,088 --> 01:34:19,828
MEGAN:
Yes.
2287
01:34:21,090 --> 01:34:22,395
[LAMP CLATTERING]
2288
01:34:25,703 --> 01:34:29,185
GAVIN:
Aisle 65 lamps,
Mr. Entrepreneur.
2289
01:34:29,315 --> 01:34:31,491
Don't look at me,
my arms are full mate!
2290
01:34:31,622 --> 01:34:32,667
- It's free.
- Yeah.
2291
01:34:32,797 --> 01:34:34,103
- It's free storage.
- Yeah.
2292
01:34:36,627 --> 01:34:38,673
RUTH:
And they've got a really good
system down there, so--
2293
01:34:38,803 --> 01:34:41,719
Yeah, we've, uh, essentially
created a new game for them.
2294
01:34:41,850 --> 01:34:43,286
AVIATOR: [OVER SPEAKER]
Bing bong!
2295
01:34:43,416 --> 01:34:45,288
Rick to the manager's office.
Rick to the manager's office.
2296
01:34:45,418 --> 01:34:47,464
Oh you're in trouble.
2297
01:34:47,594 --> 01:34:50,119
AVIATOR: [OVER SPEAKER]
Oh, what a game,
what a game, what a game.
2298
01:34:50,249 --> 01:34:51,424
[LAUGHS]
2299
01:34:51,555 --> 01:34:52,817
Rick disappeared.
2300
01:34:52,948 --> 01:34:54,514
We don't know where he is,
which is bloody brilliant
2301
01:34:54,645 --> 01:34:56,038
because now, obviously,
we're not gonna be evicted.
2302
01:34:56,168 --> 01:34:57,300
No.
2303
01:34:57,430 --> 01:34:59,476
I think he's met someone,
or he's gone away.
2304
01:34:59,606 --> 01:35:01,565
If you're out there, Rick,
we just wish you all the best.
2305
01:35:01,696 --> 01:35:02,261
Best of luck.
2306
01:35:02,392 --> 01:35:03,306
Hope it works out.
2307
01:35:05,177 --> 01:35:06,396
MEGAN:
No, business has been great.
2308
01:35:06,526 --> 01:35:07,876
Loads of people coming
from all over now.
2309
01:35:08,006 --> 01:35:09,573
- Yeah.
- Since the documentary, like--
2310
01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:10,705
Yeah, it really put us
on the map.
2311
01:35:10,835 --> 01:35:12,141
Yeah, and Muswell Hill.
2312
01:35:12,271 --> 01:35:13,142
- Yeah.
- Which is nice.
2313
01:35:13,272 --> 01:35:15,361
[♪]
2314
01:35:19,365 --> 01:35:21,803
MEGAN:
We don't need to take
stuff from the past anymore.
2315
01:35:21,933 --> 01:35:22,934
We just use it for a laugh.
2316
01:35:23,065 --> 01:35:24,544
- Yeah.
- Just use it to have fun.
2317
01:35:24,675 --> 01:35:25,458
Mm.
2318
01:35:27,286 --> 01:35:30,594
[♪]
2319
01:35:34,380 --> 01:35:36,513
What's better than exploring
time and space?
2320
01:35:36,643 --> 01:35:38,515
With your best friend.
2321
01:35:41,126 --> 01:35:43,085
NARRATOR:
And that's the end, I think.
2322
01:35:43,215 --> 01:35:47,959
Uh, uh, let me just check
here, yep, yeah, mm-hmm.