1 00:00:06,655 --> 00:00:08,310 - Matt, have you seen my earbuds? 2 00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:10,413 [knocking] - It's open. 3 00:00:10,517 --> 00:00:12,965 - Hey, have you seen my earbuds? Oh, sorry, sorry. 4 00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:14,620 - No worries, man. What's up? 5 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:17,310 - Um, I was just wondering if you'd seen my earbuds. 6 00:00:17,413 --> 00:00:19,344 - Oh, yeah. Sorry, man. 7 00:00:19,448 --> 00:00:21,724 I borrowed them for a run. [woman moaning on computer] 8 00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:24,379 - Thank you. Thanks. Um... 9 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,103 Okay, all right, I gotta go. 10 00:00:26,206 --> 00:00:28,310 - Sure you can't stay and hang? 11 00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:30,344 - Oh, my God. Um... 12 00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:34,310 I'd love to, I'd love to hang. 13 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:37,758 I just can't right now 'cause I'm in a play, 14 00:00:37,862 --> 00:00:40,103 and they can't do it without me. 15 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:43,172 I'm kind of the-- I'm the titular role, so... 16 00:00:43,275 --> 00:00:46,241 - Oh, that's cool, man. What's it called? 17 00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:48,551 - "While John Slept." 18 00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:50,620 - What do you mean? He's our brother. 19 00:00:50,724 --> 00:00:53,758 - Keep your voice down. He's been through enough. 20 00:00:53,862 --> 00:00:56,310 - He has a right to know. 21 00:00:56,413 --> 00:00:58,448 - We have to protect him. - Love you. 22 00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:01,137 - That's what family does. [toilet flushes] 23 00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:05,517 So it's settled. We decide tomorrow. 24 00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:07,517 - Agreed. Brian? 25 00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,862 - No. - No? 26 00:01:09,965 --> 00:01:12,068 - You think I want to say no? 27 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:13,896 Like some kind of sick freak? 28 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,758 - Of course not, but-- - But nothing! 29 00:01:16,862 --> 00:01:19,034 - Did he talk? Did I miss it? 30 00:01:19,137 --> 00:01:21,034 - He's just been sleeping. 31 00:01:21,137 --> 00:01:24,310 - We decide the day after tomorrow. 32 00:01:24,413 --> 00:01:26,344 - I just think they should give him lines. 33 00:01:26,448 --> 00:01:28,517 - Yes. It is. - He's so great with lines. 34 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,827 - Yes. Yes. - Don't you think so, Brookie? 35 00:01:30,931 --> 00:01:32,655 - [snoring] 36 00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:36,172 - The day after. all: Yes. 37 00:01:36,275 --> 00:01:38,241 [hip-hop music] 38 00:01:38,344 --> 00:01:40,172 - You were amazing, Cary. 39 00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:41,862 - You were asleep the whole time. 40 00:01:41,965 --> 00:01:43,448 - So were you. - It's fine. 41 00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:45,379 Sleeping through plays is classic Brooke. 42 00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:48,344 - No, it's not. I just didn't get any sleep last night. 43 00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:50,724 I crashed at a friend's place who just had a baby. 44 00:01:50,827 --> 00:01:52,241 Why do people do that? 45 00:01:52,344 --> 00:01:54,000 - Well, you can always crash with me and Chase. 46 00:01:54,103 --> 00:01:55,310 - [chuckles] Fuck no! 47 00:01:55,413 --> 00:01:56,965 I mean, no thank you. 48 00:01:57,068 --> 00:01:58,206 - Well, Cary, I thought you were incredible. 49 00:01:58,310 --> 00:01:59,758 I really believed you were sleeping. 50 00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:02,103 - Thanks, but that big monologue at the top 51 00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,931 is why I took the part, so casting directors 52 00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:05,275 could see my range. 53 00:02:05,379 --> 00:02:07,068 - Oh, no, we were five minutes late. 54 00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:08,517 You talked? - Mom. 55 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,517 - I'm sorry, the building looked abandoned. 56 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,586 We thought we were in the wrong place, Cary. 57 00:02:12,689 --> 00:02:14,413 - Yeah, that is really hurting our attendance. 58 00:02:14,517 --> 00:02:16,000 Sometimes people don't even come 59 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,758 to our night shows, and we just leave. 60 00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:19,758 - Well, I'm gonna come back and see your speech. 61 00:02:19,862 --> 00:02:22,000 I'm gonna do a lot of things now that I live here. 62 00:02:22,103 --> 00:02:24,034 This is gonna be my year of yes. 63 00:02:24,137 --> 00:02:25,413 - Okay, you don't live here now, Mom. 64 00:02:25,517 --> 00:02:26,862 You're just here for a couple of months. 65 00:02:26,965 --> 00:02:28,206 It's very important to my sanity 66 00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:29,793 that you make that distinction. 67 00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:31,517 - Oh, kiss my butt. 68 00:02:31,620 --> 00:02:34,620 What? I'm a New Yorker now! 69 00:02:34,724 --> 00:02:35,896 Hey! 70 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,275 - [laughs] 71 00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:42,413 - Here we are, home sweet home! 72 00:02:42,517 --> 00:02:44,448 - Whoa. - Can you believe it? 73 00:02:44,551 --> 00:02:47,482 - Wait, is this Justin Theroux's apartment? 74 00:02:47,586 --> 00:02:49,206 - Yes. How did you know? 75 00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:51,620 - Uh, 'cause I'm looking at a huge photo of him. 76 00:02:51,724 --> 00:02:53,172 So I hope it is. 77 00:02:53,275 --> 00:02:55,034 - I know it's not as cozy as back home, 78 00:02:55,137 --> 00:02:56,689 but I did get to hang a few things 79 00:02:56,793 --> 00:02:58,413 to kind of warm it up. 80 00:02:58,517 --> 00:03:01,137 - Yes, okay, now it feels like Ohio. 81 00:03:01,241 --> 00:03:03,137 - How are you guys living here? 82 00:03:03,241 --> 00:03:06,448 - Well, Justin's out of town, and Streeter represents him. 83 00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:08,482 - He does? - Yeah, for music. 84 00:03:08,586 --> 00:03:10,310 Oh, which reminds me, Streeter's coming by 85 00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:11,827 in a second with someone from the label. 86 00:03:11,931 --> 00:03:13,620 The grind never stops. 87 00:03:13,724 --> 00:03:15,413 - Okay. 88 00:03:15,517 --> 00:03:18,000 Well, if you need us, we are going to be looking 89 00:03:18,103 --> 00:03:20,172 through every drawer in this house. 90 00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:21,931 - Yes, each and every one. 91 00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:30,241 - It's good. 92 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,206 - Wait, so he just kept jerking off? 93 00:03:32,310 --> 00:03:34,517 - Yeah, and staring directly into my eyes. 94 00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:36,448 Would a straight guy do that? 95 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,482 - Oh, God, Cary, as much as you want this to be real, 96 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,586 you and Matt are not a thing. 97 00:03:40,689 --> 00:03:42,206 I mean, you haven't even hung out outside of the apartment. 98 00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,896 - Yes, we have. 99 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,931 We arrive home at the same moment all of the time. 100 00:03:47,034 --> 00:03:49,379 - [chuckles] Okay, you need to see a therapist. 101 00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:51,724 - You do too. - Well, I already do. 102 00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:53,310 She's my barista, but she really helps. 103 00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:54,689 - I'm just gonna ask Matt out on a date. 104 00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:56,655 He's clearly getting more comfortable with me. 105 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,862 If we can just hang out in public together, 106 00:03:59,965 --> 00:04:01,586 he'll see that he can do this. 107 00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:03,000 - Oh, Debra. 108 00:04:03,103 --> 00:04:05,965 - Wanna get a drink tonight? 109 00:04:06,068 --> 00:04:08,034 Send. 110 00:04:08,137 --> 00:04:09,620 Holy shit. 111 00:04:09,724 --> 00:04:11,620 - Why does Justin Theroux have a room in his house 112 00:04:11,724 --> 00:04:13,896 that just has a motorcycle and a sink in it? 113 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,310 [toilet flushes] 114 00:04:15,413 --> 00:04:17,827 This is a toilet. 115 00:04:17,931 --> 00:04:19,379 - Color palette's very important as well. 116 00:04:19,482 --> 00:04:20,896 - Yes. - Well, hey, hey, hey. 117 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,620 Brooke. Gay brother. 118 00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:25,241 - Shuli Kucerac. Chase's publicist from the label. 119 00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:26,862 Sorry to barge in while you're settling, 120 00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:29,206 but we have an important PR opportunity to discuss. 121 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,758 - It was my idea. - Yeah. 122 00:04:30,862 --> 00:04:33,034 And it's for tonight, so we have no time to waste. 123 00:04:33,137 --> 00:04:34,241 - I thought of it. 124 00:04:34,344 --> 00:04:35,551 - Shall we sit? - Yep. 125 00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:36,965 - Oh, everyone's moving so fast. 126 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,344 I feel like I'm on "Scandal." 127 00:04:38,448 --> 00:04:39,620 Can I get anyone a snack? 128 00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:41,103 I haven't gone to the store yet, 129 00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:43,137 so I just have whatever's here. 130 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,655 Would anyone like a big vitamin? 131 00:04:45,758 --> 00:04:48,068 - Why don't we just send Chase's assistant out for food? 132 00:04:48,172 --> 00:04:49,965 - Ah, assistant, yes, yes, yes. 133 00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:52,689 Well, we have not been able to fill that posish. 134 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,379 - Brookie, you don't have a job. 135 00:04:54,482 --> 00:04:56,482 You should do it. - Fuck no! 136 00:04:56,586 --> 00:04:58,241 I mean, no thank you. 137 00:04:58,344 --> 00:04:59,862 - Okay, you know what, let's just dive in. 138 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,241 Okay, so as you may know, we at Principle Records 139 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,310 also work with Yendani. 140 00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:06,206 - [gasps] Oh, my God, I love Yendani. 141 00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:08,034 She's such a hot, badass feminist. 142 00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:09,448 She reminds me of me. 143 00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:11,068 - Yeah, and I thought-- it was my idea-- 144 00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:13,862 since Yendani and Chase have new albums coming out 145 00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,620 in the next couple of months that they could collaborate. 146 00:05:16,724 --> 00:05:18,310 - Oh, cool. - On a relationship. 147 00:05:18,413 --> 00:05:19,793 So they start dating tonight. 148 00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:21,482 - I'm sorry, what? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 149 00:05:21,586 --> 00:05:23,172 She's standing by to video conference. 150 00:05:23,275 --> 00:05:25,827 Oh, you're gonna love her. She has 8 million followers. 151 00:05:25,931 --> 00:05:28,068 - [chuckles] I mean, this is gonna skyrocket Chase 152 00:05:28,172 --> 00:05:29,379 to the next level. 153 00:05:29,482 --> 00:05:32,275 - Oh, Chasey, your first girlfriend. 154 00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:33,965 - Ew, Mom, no. 155 00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,965 - No, Gay Brother, this is how kids meet these days. 156 00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:38,344 They work at the same label, and then they fall in love. 157 00:05:38,448 --> 00:05:40,551 - Yeah, get with the times, dork. 158 00:05:40,655 --> 00:05:42,068 - [laughs] What a dork. 159 00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:43,758 - No, Mom, this is crazy, okay? 160 00:05:43,862 --> 00:05:46,379 That's a full-on fake relationship. 161 00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:48,413 When is Matt gonna text me back? 162 00:05:48,517 --> 00:05:51,241 - Well, I can't wait to meet her parents, Mr. and Mrs...? 163 00:05:51,344 --> 00:05:53,000 - Oh, she doesn't have a last name. 164 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,379 I mean, well, she did, but it's Irish, so we dropped it. 165 00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:56,689 - Oh. - But look, hey, 166 00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:58,655 this isn't a done deal, Dubeks. 167 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,586 I told Yendani's team that I'd vet this family to make sure 168 00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:03,793 I can't find anything that would hurt her image. 169 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:07,448 So I need you all to volunteer 170 00:06:07,551 --> 00:06:10,448 anything that you've done that could be damaging. 171 00:06:10,551 --> 00:06:13,137 - Okay, well, I think for me, I'm good. 172 00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:16,068 - Well, we already did a background check at the label. 173 00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:17,758 This is what we found so far. 174 00:06:17,862 --> 00:06:19,103 [heavy thud] 175 00:06:19,206 --> 00:06:22,103 [dramatic music] 176 00:06:26,551 --> 00:06:28,137 - All right, everyone take a seat. 177 00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:29,965 - Wait, why does Justin have a church in his house? 178 00:06:30,068 --> 00:06:31,655 - And why does the cross have a little foot on it? 179 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,448 - Oh, that's a "T" for Theroux, 180 00:06:33,551 --> 00:06:35,206 because Justin believes in himself so much. 181 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:37,896 - Ugh, ew. Can we just go back down to the living room? 182 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,275 - No, there's a lot of bad stuff in this binder, 183 00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:41,724 and I don't want Chase to hear. 184 00:06:41,827 --> 00:06:43,517 Now, I want to start with Cary. 185 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,586 - Great, yes, I've done a lot of bad things. 186 00:06:45,689 --> 00:06:48,137 Um, when I was 11 years old, 187 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,793 I would get boners in church because one of the altar boys 188 00:06:50,896 --> 00:06:53,344 was super hot, so I would just tuck my dick 189 00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,310 up into my belt during communion. 190 00:06:55,413 --> 00:06:57,275 - Cary. - I know which altar boy. 191 00:06:57,379 --> 00:06:58,896 - And when was in the eighth grade, 192 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,931 we took a class trip to Water World, 193 00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:02,827 and I purposefully rode the log flume 194 00:07:02,931 --> 00:07:05,482 with my friend Kevin's dad so I could buy 195 00:07:05,586 --> 00:07:07,655 the picture afterwards and masturbate to it. 196 00:07:07,758 --> 00:07:09,172 - Oh, honey, did you hear he died? 197 00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:10,689 - I did. 198 00:07:10,793 --> 00:07:13,551 And when I was 23, I worked at a hotel 199 00:07:13,655 --> 00:07:15,275 and Christopher Meloni stayed there, 200 00:07:15,379 --> 00:07:17,551 and one day he went out to the pool, 201 00:07:17,655 --> 00:07:20,448 so I snuck into his room and smelled his underwear. 202 00:07:20,551 --> 00:07:23,862 But then he returned to a different room, 203 00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:25,965 so I don't know whose underwear I smelled. 204 00:07:26,068 --> 00:07:27,827 - Oh, my God. Cary, let me cut to the chase. 205 00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:29,793 - Ooh, we should trademark that, my God. 206 00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,896 - I meant things I could find online. 207 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,551 You just described three private, sad moments. 208 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,620 How would I find those things? 209 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,931 - Oh. 210 00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:41,931 Then... 211 00:07:42,034 --> 00:07:43,620 I'm just kidding. 212 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,034 - You know what, I didn't find anything bad on you. 213 00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:46,413 - Good. 214 00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:47,620 - You can go do your little play, 215 00:07:47,724 --> 00:07:49,206 but, Cary, please have sex. 216 00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:51,551 - I'm trying. 217 00:07:51,655 --> 00:07:53,241 - I know something bad that I did online. 218 00:07:53,344 --> 00:07:54,379 - Good luck, babe. 219 00:07:54,482 --> 00:07:56,034 - Beth Kellogg from church 220 00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:57,896 is always posting photos of these ducks in her yard. 221 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,724 So one night, I did have a little glass of wine, 222 00:08:00,827 --> 00:08:03,724 I commented, "Enough with the ducks," 223 00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:05,551 and then I unfriended her. 224 00:08:05,655 --> 00:08:07,206 I already had to change churches, 225 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:10,896 and now I'm so worried it's gonna ruin Chase's career. 226 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,793 - Awww, that is absolutely not in this binder. 227 00:08:14,896 --> 00:08:15,758 - Ah. 228 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,827 - Every single thing in here 229 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,275 is about Brooke. 230 00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:20,896 - Oh. - Excuse me? 231 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,034 No, my whole thing is smart, young progressive. 232 00:08:23,137 --> 00:08:25,620 So I don't know what you think you found, 233 00:08:25,724 --> 00:08:27,793 but...was it my Gchats? 234 00:08:27,896 --> 00:08:29,482 - Nope. - Oh, then I'm golden. 235 00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:31,068 Come at me. 236 00:08:31,172 --> 00:08:32,655 - You used the word "retarded" on Twitter 237 00:08:32,758 --> 00:08:35,413 no less than 56 times. 238 00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:37,172 - I mean, are we sure that was me? 239 00:08:37,275 --> 00:08:39,827 - Your first tweet was, "Twitter is retarded. 240 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:41,068 Come at me." 241 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,413 - Ooh. 242 00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:43,793 Well, that was a long time ago. 243 00:08:43,896 --> 00:08:45,448 Now I'm a social justice warrior. 244 00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:46,862 People on Twitter always tell me 245 00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:48,931 I'm a classic white feminist. 246 00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:50,310 - That's not good. 247 00:08:50,413 --> 00:08:52,413 And we deleted that account. - What? 248 00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:55,379 - I also deleted photos of you from Halloween 249 00:08:55,482 --> 00:08:56,758 as Terri Schiavo. - What? 250 00:08:56,862 --> 00:09:00,000 - Okay, I went as Terri Schiavo before, 251 00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:02,586 and then I happened to pass out at the party. 252 00:09:02,689 --> 00:09:04,620 - Okay, shall I continue? 253 00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:06,344 - Well, if you have anything else. 254 00:09:06,448 --> 00:09:08,034 - Let's talk about your LiveJournal. 255 00:09:08,137 --> 00:09:09,206 - Oh, no. 256 00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:10,310 - What do you mean? 257 00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:12,000 He's our brother. 258 00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,931 - Keep your voice down. He's been through enough. 259 00:09:14,034 --> 00:09:16,551 - He has a right to know. - No, we have to protect him. 260 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:19,413 [cell phone buzzes] That's what family does. 261 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,068 So it's settled. 262 00:09:22,172 --> 00:09:24,172 We decide tomorrow. 263 00:09:24,275 --> 00:09:27,172 - Agreed. Brian? 264 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,724 - No. - No? 265 00:09:29,827 --> 00:09:31,758 - You think I want to say no? 266 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,517 Like some kind of sick freak? 267 00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:35,931 - Of course not, but-- - But nothing! 268 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:39,620 We decide the day after tomorrow. 269 00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:43,793 - And finally, your Venmo account. 270 00:09:43,896 --> 00:09:46,793 - Okay, what could I have possibly done wrong on Venmo? 271 00:09:46,896 --> 00:09:49,758 - Every time you pay Cary for anything, 272 00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:53,448 you write that it's for "slamming that puss." 273 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,586 - Brooke. - Well, okay. 274 00:09:54,689 --> 00:09:55,793 That is just sibling humor. 275 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,344 - We deleted that account too. 276 00:09:57,448 --> 00:09:59,103 - [sighs] - And that's it. 277 00:09:59,206 --> 00:10:01,137 - Really? I'm okay? 278 00:10:01,241 --> 00:10:03,931 - Well, karmically, you need to do some soul searching. 279 00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:06,551 - Yeah. - Optically, we're fine. 280 00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:07,689 - Okay. - All right. 281 00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:09,413 Let's call Yendani, people. 282 00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:12,344 - This is gonna be so romantic. 283 00:10:12,448 --> 00:10:13,965 [beep] 284 00:10:14,068 --> 00:10:15,344 - Hi, Yendani. 285 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,068 - Hey, Chase. 286 00:10:17,172 --> 00:10:18,655 - Okay, kids, so tonight 287 00:10:18,758 --> 00:10:20,551 we'll start off with Instagram live, 288 00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:22,862 and then tomorrow I have you on the red carpet 289 00:10:22,965 --> 00:10:25,413 for the Hot 97 Summer Jam. 290 00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:27,758 - Oh, my God, I love Summer Jam. 291 00:10:27,862 --> 00:10:31,758 Okay, one year I got so drunk, and I went home with this guy, 292 00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:33,586 but I was dating somebody else, 293 00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:36,379 and so I waited until he was asleep to kiss him. 294 00:10:36,482 --> 00:10:38,275 That way it wasn't cheating. 295 00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:41,103 [laughs] - That's sexual assault. 296 00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:46,793 - Oh, oh. No, no, you're confused. 297 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,551 I'm a girl, and he just wasn't awake. 298 00:10:49,655 --> 00:10:51,655 And I kissed him, so... 299 00:10:51,758 --> 00:10:54,965 - Yeah, no, that's sexual assault. 300 00:10:55,068 --> 00:10:57,206 - You know, you make a great point, Yendani, 301 00:10:57,310 --> 00:11:01,413 and we're gonna take a break and just think about that. 302 00:11:01,517 --> 00:11:03,137 So... 303 00:11:05,482 --> 00:11:07,344 Okay, we're on mute now. 304 00:11:07,448 --> 00:11:10,551 So everybody keep smiling and don't move your lips, 305 00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:11,965 'cause this is very bad. 306 00:11:12,068 --> 00:11:13,931 - Am I doing it? Are my lips moving? 307 00:11:14,034 --> 00:11:15,655 - Oh, I gotta get those pictures. 308 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,448 Who do I gotta suck? Who do I gotta fuck? 309 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,344 - There are no pictures. 310 00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:20,896 - Did he wake up and file a report? 311 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,413 - No, he doesn't know. Like, nobody knows. 312 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,172 - Oh, nobody knows? 313 00:11:25,275 --> 00:11:26,551 Okay, ooh. 314 00:11:26,655 --> 00:11:27,862 - Oh, okay. - Who gives a shit? 315 00:11:27,965 --> 00:11:29,827 - Okay, we're fine. We're fine. 316 00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:31,931 - No, we're not fine. 317 00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:35,862 Yendani said it. I committed sexual assault. 318 00:11:35,965 --> 00:11:38,931 - But no one knows. - But I know. 319 00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:41,068 And strong, powerful women 320 00:11:41,172 --> 00:11:43,551 like me and Yendani, 321 00:11:43,655 --> 00:11:45,793 we don't do stuff like this. 322 00:11:45,896 --> 00:11:48,068 I have to go tell him. 323 00:11:48,172 --> 00:11:50,862 Someone DVR "Real Housewives of Atlanta" for me. 324 00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:53,620 - Honey, I don't think Justin has DVR. 325 00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:57,965 - Damn it. 326 00:11:58,068 --> 00:12:00,172 - This again? - You left. 327 00:12:00,275 --> 00:12:02,206 Not me, not Todd. 328 00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:03,689 You. [phone buzzing] 329 00:12:03,793 --> 00:12:06,689 - He just got back from Afghanistan. 330 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,827 Let him sleep. - He has a right to know. 331 00:12:08,931 --> 00:12:10,482 - Hello. - Hey, I need you to leave 332 00:12:10,586 --> 00:12:11,931 so we can stop the show. 333 00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:14,586 - What? Now? I'm really enjoying it. 334 00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,827 - Listen, I have a date. - Oh, my God. 335 00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:18,241 Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm on it. 336 00:12:18,344 --> 00:12:19,862 Oh, but you have to work my shift tomorrow. 337 00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:21,689 I have to break up with somebody, 338 00:12:21,793 --> 00:12:23,034 and it's gonna take all day. 339 00:12:23,137 --> 00:12:25,103 - Whatever, fine, yes. Okay. 340 00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:27,517 - We'll decide the day after tomorrow. 341 00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,724 - Yes. - Ohh! [gasping] 342 00:12:29,827 --> 00:12:31,379 Oh, my God, something bit me. 343 00:12:31,482 --> 00:12:33,068 Something has bitten me, 344 00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,172 and I would love to stay and watch the rest, 345 00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:37,413 but something bit me, and so I have to go. 346 00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:39,896 Okay, okay. 347 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,172 - Well, I guess that's it for the show tonight. 348 00:12:42,275 --> 00:12:44,689 Oh, darn, I'll see you guys tomorrow. 349 00:12:44,793 --> 00:12:47,689 - Wait, what if we did this one just for us? 350 00:12:47,793 --> 00:12:49,448 - Eww, no. - No, Todd. 351 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,172 Go home to your kid. 352 00:12:51,275 --> 00:12:54,068 She's six days old. 353 00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:57,379 - Friends? No. 354 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:03,344 - I assaulted you. I assaulted you. 355 00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:04,827 I assault-- 356 00:13:04,931 --> 00:13:07,793 - Cookbrooke! Ahhh! 357 00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:13,655 - What's up, guys? I'm here with my girl, Yendani, 358 00:13:13,758 --> 00:13:14,931 and I love her so much. 359 00:13:15,034 --> 00:13:16,551 - And we love all you fans out there. 360 00:13:16,655 --> 00:13:19,896 This is the best night ever. [cheering] 361 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,034 - Yeah, so I said blinker? I hardly know her. 362 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,448 [laughter] 363 00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:28,793 - You know what, uh-- you know what's also funny? 364 00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:31,137 Uh, Matt only has, like, three pairs of socks, 365 00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:34,620 so he's always needing to wear mine. 366 00:13:34,724 --> 00:13:36,793 He's probably wearing my socks right now. 367 00:13:36,896 --> 00:13:38,724 Isn't that so funny? [scattered laughter] 368 00:13:38,827 --> 00:13:41,517 - I mean, he's right. I am, yeah. 369 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,793 Oh, hey, you guys want to play Skee-Ball? 370 00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:46,655 - Yeah, let's freaking do it. - Yeah, let's go. 371 00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:49,620 [rock music] 372 00:13:49,724 --> 00:13:52,758 - And you were sleeping, and... 373 00:13:55,379 --> 00:13:58,517 I kissed you. 374 00:13:58,620 --> 00:13:59,724 - Dope. 375 00:13:59,827 --> 00:14:02,379 - No, Lance. Not dope. 376 00:14:02,482 --> 00:14:03,620 You didn't give consent. 377 00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,758 - It's all good. I would have. 378 00:14:05,862 --> 00:14:07,551 - Lance, focus, okay? 379 00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:08,931 I'm sorry. 380 00:14:09,034 --> 00:14:11,379 I assaulted you. That is not okay. 381 00:14:11,482 --> 00:14:14,965 And more importantly, it's just not who I am. 382 00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:18,000 - Yeah, it is. 383 00:14:18,103 --> 00:14:19,931 Come on, you do crazy shit like this all the time. 384 00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:21,620 This is classic Brooke. 385 00:14:21,724 --> 00:14:23,310 - Wait, what? 386 00:14:23,413 --> 00:14:25,275 - Ohh. 387 00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:27,586 - "What makes your relationship so strong?" 388 00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:29,172 - We just respect each other's needs. 389 00:14:29,275 --> 00:14:31,275 - And each other's work, including our albums, 390 00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:33,068 which are out later this year. - Yes, yes, yes. 391 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,758 - Plus, we both love ice cream. 392 00:14:34,862 --> 00:14:36,551 both: Ice cream! Ice cream! 393 00:14:36,655 --> 00:14:38,931 - [sighs] 394 00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:42,413 I asked you out, just you and me. 395 00:14:42,517 --> 00:14:44,827 What the shit is-- 396 00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:46,379 Hey, what's up? 397 00:14:46,482 --> 00:14:48,344 I'm having fun. This is fun. 398 00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:55,344 - I gotta go piss so hard. [chuckles] 399 00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:59,724 [urine tinkling] Whoo-whoo! 400 00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:04,413 [Matt groans] 401 00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:09,689 You wanna get out of here? - Yes. Yeah. 402 00:15:09,793 --> 00:15:12,517 Finally, yes, yes. 403 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,448 - Party at our place, guys! 404 00:15:14,551 --> 00:15:18,103 [cheering] BYOB, baby! 405 00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:21,068 - Okay, what else? What else is Classic Brooke? 406 00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:23,620 - Um, she's hot, she's cool. - Yes, Classic Brooke. 407 00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:25,206 - She's fun and she loves to party. 408 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:27,241 - You know, in moderation. Sure, Classic Brooke. 409 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:30,000 - She has always got deodorant on the outside of her clothing. 410 00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,758 - No, that is not Classic Brooke. Next. 411 00:15:31,862 --> 00:15:33,172 - She doesn't brush her teeth. 412 00:15:33,275 --> 00:15:34,620 - Well, no, not at night. I wanna go to sleep. 413 00:15:34,724 --> 00:15:36,344 Next. - She lies for fun. 414 00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:38,620 She steals from Starbucks. She never drinks water. 415 00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:40,896 She falls asleep during plays. - Okay, no, no, no, no. 416 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,620 I don't--no. I want to stop. 417 00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,620 Let's just stop. 418 00:15:44,724 --> 00:15:47,689 - Brooke Who's Talking, are you okay? 419 00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:49,413 - I don't know. 420 00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:51,551 I don't know what I am. 421 00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:54,586 How are you? 422 00:15:54,689 --> 00:15:56,862 - I'm pretty good. - Yeah? 423 00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:58,931 - I left the Foot Locker. 424 00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:00,689 - You did? - Yeah. 425 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,793 I got this amazing job at this new startup, 426 00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:04,724 and I have a new shoe idea. 427 00:16:04,827 --> 00:16:07,965 Okay, it's like a regular shoe, 428 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:11,344 but it has this little baby drawer in the sole 429 00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,896 that you can put all of your change in. 430 00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:19,241 - So you just, like, hear coins when you walk around? 431 00:16:19,344 --> 00:16:21,172 - Hell, yeah. It's like how everybody's always talking 432 00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:22,793 about how they want to look like a million bucks. 433 00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:25,758 But now you can also sound like a dollar. 434 00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:27,931 - Wow. That's a great idea, Lance. 435 00:16:28,034 --> 00:16:30,241 - You know, being single has kind of given me 436 00:16:30,344 --> 00:16:33,344 this opportunity to really concentrate on myself 437 00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:35,551 and move forward. 438 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,689 - Well, that's cool. 439 00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:42,620 Yeah, I'm-- I'm moving forward too. 440 00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:45,310 You know, I-- I didn't want to brag, 441 00:16:45,413 --> 00:16:49,586 but I'm, uh, I'm living in SoHo at Justin Theroux's house. 442 00:16:49,689 --> 00:16:51,034 - "Lego Ninjago!" - Yeah. 443 00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:52,344 - Are you kidding? - Yeah. 444 00:16:52,448 --> 00:16:54,000 And I got a job as an assistant 445 00:16:54,103 --> 00:16:55,827 for a really famous singer, so, you know, 446 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:56,827 I'm just, like, working all the time, 447 00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:58,379 being responsible. 448 00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:00,379 I'm just-- I'm being Classic Brooke. 449 00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:02,275 So anyway, I gotta go. 450 00:17:02,379 --> 00:17:04,344 - What, you don't wanna stay and hang out? 451 00:17:04,448 --> 00:17:08,068 - I can't, Lance. I'm a businesswoman now. 452 00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:09,413 - I'm watching "Real Housewives of Atlanta." 453 00:17:13,379 --> 00:17:14,965 - Damn it. 454 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:17,068 [laughter] - Right? 455 00:17:17,172 --> 00:17:18,896 - Oh, yo, should I fire up the Wii? 456 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,241 - Hell yeah, I don't have work tomorrow. 457 00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:22,379 - Yeah, baby! - All night! 458 00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,068 Cakes and eggs! 459 00:17:24,172 --> 00:17:25,896 You guys can sleep over too, you know? 460 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,172 Cary's room, the couch, whatever. 461 00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:30,689 Oh, yeah, we got taquitos. - Oh, no! 462 00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:31,896 [thud] Ow. 463 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,793 Oh! Ow! 464 00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,758 Oh! Ah! 465 00:17:35,862 --> 00:17:37,448 Ow, ow, ow. 466 00:17:37,551 --> 00:17:39,068 - Yo, bro, you all right? 467 00:17:39,172 --> 00:17:40,620 - Oh, yeah, now-- - Jeez. 468 00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:43,275 - I didn't mean to hit my face. I mean, ow, ow. 469 00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:45,103 - Hey, guys, think you better bounce. 470 00:17:45,206 --> 00:17:46,724 I gotta take care of my roomie here. 471 00:17:46,827 --> 00:17:48,413 - I think you guys should bounce. 472 00:17:48,517 --> 00:17:50,896 Yeah, I am so sorry. 473 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,413 Oh, I know, I know. Next time. 474 00:17:53,517 --> 00:17:54,862 Yeah, oh, yeah. 475 00:17:54,965 --> 00:17:56,551 - Come on, just give me all your weight. 476 00:17:56,655 --> 00:17:58,206 - Okay. 477 00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,793 - Oh, boy, you are light. You're like my sister. 478 00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:02,379 - Thank you. - Yeah. 479 00:18:16,034 --> 00:18:18,068 - Holy shit. 480 00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:20,862 - Oh, honey, can you please turn off the lights? 481 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,724 - Mom? 482 00:18:22,827 --> 00:18:25,724 Why are you sleeping by a pool? 483 00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:27,862 - Justin only has one bedroom, 484 00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:30,379 but three saunas. 485 00:18:30,482 --> 00:18:32,172 Oh, well, you gotta try new things, 486 00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,620 and this is my year of yes. 487 00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:37,068 - Yeah, you keep saying that. 488 00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:38,827 Oh, how was Chase's big date? 489 00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:41,068 - They broke up. - No. 490 00:18:41,172 --> 00:18:42,793 - Yendani got an offer 491 00:18:42,896 --> 00:18:44,931 to start dating Millie Bobby Brown tomorrow. 492 00:18:45,034 --> 00:18:47,241 - What about Chase? - He's gonna wear glasses. 493 00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:49,413 Shuli's calling it Glasses Saturday. 494 00:18:49,517 --> 00:18:50,793 - No, I mean, is he okay? 495 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,241 - Oh, I'm sure he's fine. 496 00:18:52,344 --> 00:18:54,586 That's just how the kids date these days. 497 00:18:54,689 --> 00:18:55,931 - Okay. 498 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,275 Well, I just wanted to let you know 499 00:18:58,379 --> 00:19:02,172 that I've decided to be Chase's assistant. 500 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:05,620 - Oh, Brookie and Chasey. 501 00:19:05,724 --> 00:19:07,517 - Yeah, but only until I figure out what it is 502 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:08,965 that I really want to do. 503 00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:11,482 Also, I'm gonna crash here. 504 00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:13,965 - Yay, roomies! - Okay, just for now. 505 00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:16,827 So I guess I'll 506 00:19:16,931 --> 00:19:18,551 find a place to sleep. 507 00:19:18,655 --> 00:19:20,448 - I know, I should get some shut-eye, too. 508 00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:22,517 I have so many meetings this week. 509 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:25,413 - With who? - Oh, anyone that wants one. 510 00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:27,000 - [chuckles] Okay. 511 00:19:27,103 --> 00:19:28,448 Good night, Mom. 512 00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:31,000 - Good night. 513 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,931 I'm so happy you're home, Brookie. 514 00:19:34,034 --> 00:19:36,896 [gentle music] 515 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:44,137 ♪ 516 00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:11,206 - [sighs] Perfect. 517 00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:22,551 - How you doing, buddy? 518 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,827 - I'm all right, thanks. 519 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,206 - Here you go. 520 00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:29,965 Weird, I am so hard right now. 521 00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:33,000 [chuckles] 522 00:20:33,103 --> 00:20:34,689 Oh, whoa, whoa. 523 00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:36,620 Don't wanna hurt your lip. 524 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,724 But I guess you could, uh... 525 00:20:41,827 --> 00:20:49,000 ♪ 526 00:21:01,034 --> 00:21:03,551 both: This is good. I like this. 527 00:21:10,965 --> 00:21:11,827 - 'Sup, fam? Just thought we owed it to you 528 00:21:11,931 --> 00:21:13,344 to explain what happened. 529 00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:15,413 - Sometimes two people can love each other 530 00:21:15,517 --> 00:21:18,448 and still not be right for each other. 531 00:21:18,551 --> 00:21:21,206 But I'll always love ChaseDreams. 532 00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:24,000 Like and comment on his Insta if you will too.