1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,000
[somber melodic music plays]
2
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:11,840
[birds chirping]
3
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,800
[bell ringing]
4
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:19,160
[woman] The first moment
that I tried to pull away from him,
5
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,240
he just grabbed me by my throat
6
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,520
and squeezed so hard,
7
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,560
and I was terrified.
8
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:37,040
I knew that there was only one way
for it to end.
9
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,360
And, uh...
10
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,440
I wasn't willing to let it
end with me dead.
11
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,400
[tense instrumental music plays]
12
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,000
I just knew, like, I had to...
13
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,320
I had to fight back.
14
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,840
[cryptic music plays]
15
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,840
[somber melodic music plays]
16
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:40,920
[birds chirping]
17
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,360
I always saw my parents being very loving.
18
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:28,120
I can remember, you know, my dad kissing
my mom good morning in the kitchen, and...
19
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,400
I always wanted that.
20
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:36,200
My name is Jema Donahue.
21
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,800
I was sentenced to ten years
in the Department of Corrections.
22
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,160
[upbeat music plays]
23
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,160
I was born in Berlin, Germany.
24
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,200
My father was in the military.
25
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,520
I was the baby of the family.
26
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,600
You know, everybody says
the baby is spoiled,
27
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,280
but that wasn't the case in,
in, uh, my household.
28
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,320
I didn't get away with anything.
29
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,240
Like, I was almost punished
before it ever even happened.
30
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,080
We didn't really have friends
because we moved every, like, five years.
31
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,640
So, we just really loved
and embraced each other as a family.
32
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,720
[somber instrumental music plays]
33
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,200
I was homeschooled
from second grade until sixth grade.
34
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:42,320
And then my mother decided to enroll
my brother and I in public school.
35
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,720
The children were
a lot more advanced than I was.
36
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,760
They just knew more
about the world around them,
37
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,080
whereas I feel
that we were kind of kept in a bubble.
38
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,680
My last year in middle school
was really hard.
39
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:21,240
After the assault,
I had begged my mom not to call the police
40
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,400
because I just wanted to act like
41
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,240
nothing had ever happened.
42
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:30,080
And she promised me that she wouldn't,
and then she did.
43
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,680
[birds chirp]
44
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,320
I do remember law enforcement
was trying to deter my mom
45
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,200
as far as pressing charges,
46
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,640
which, of course, my mother,
she's a mama bear,
47
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:45,400
so she was like, "No,
she's gonna continue this."
48
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,920
I experienced a lot of bullying.
49
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,360
I had to leave the school district.
50
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,720
I blame my mother, um...
51
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,360
for a lot that happened, um,
when I was a teenager.
52
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,000
[car horn blares]
53
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,360
She became so protective. [sharp inhale]
54
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,320
I really wasn't allowed to have friends.
55
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,400
[birds chirp]
56
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,120
My mom would do background checks
on everybody.
57
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,280
So I stayed at home a lot.
58
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,560
[sirens wailing]
59
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,280
[somber melodic music plays]
60
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:59,920
Everybody around me was telling me that,
you know, that I ruined my life.
61
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,360
And the day that I gave birth to my son
62
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,320
and looked in his eyes...
63
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,400
[gasps]
64
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:06,840
...I knew
65
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,480
there was nothing I wouldn't do...
[chokes up]
66
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,560
...for my children.
67
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,800
There's nothing in the world
68
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,160
like coming home
from a hard day at work and...
69
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:31,960
walking through that door
70
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,080
and your children just running up to you
and wrapping their arms around you.
71
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,280
[gasps]
72
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,600
[sighs]
73
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,240
[gasps] I need a moment.
74
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,600
[moody instrumental music plays]
75
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,160
We were introduced from a mutual friend.
76
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,240
Javon had went to prison,
77
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,600
so he was being released from prison.
78
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,640
And the same mutual friend had asked me
79
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,560
if I would let him use my address
as a home plan.
80
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,240
And I said yes.
81
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,560
[bell ringing]
82
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:33,920
[metal squeals]
83
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:39,760
I remember, um, just being so curious
about his childhood
84
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,600
because it was so different from mine, um...
85
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,440
He bounced around a lot and, um...
86
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,040
that was new to me,
87
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,640
and it was almost tragic.
88
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,720
He was previously, um, incarcerated
89
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,000
for manufacturing
and distribution of drugs.
90
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,200
But I believed
that he had been rehabilitated
91
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,120
and changed his life around.
92
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,320
So, from the very beginning,
I just had this...
93
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,280
longing, like I needed to protect him.
94
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,800
We never really established
that we were going to be together.
95
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,240
It just kind of sort of happened.
96
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,120
I was going
to University of Central Missouri.
97
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,880
And he would stay at home with the kids.
98
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,080
And that spoke volumes to me
99
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,600
that he could be trusted with my children.
100
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,920
[cryptic music plays]
101
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,320
[birds chirping]
102
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,640
The officer at the time said to me
103
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:05,280
Javon was a well-known
crack cocaine dealer in that county.
104
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,800
And I was just floored
105
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:13,840
because I had never
heard or seen anything like that.
106
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,520
And that was like the first
107
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,520
instance I ever realized
108
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,000
that maybe there were things
going on behind my back
109
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,200
that I wasn't exactly aware of.
110
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,240
I was angry with Javon.
111
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,520
And I was like,
"You just need to go. Leave us alone."
112
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,960
And he just grabbed me by my throat
and squeezed so hard
113
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,320
and was, like, choking me.
114
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,840
I remember to the point that
I couldn't breathe and I was terrified.
115
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,960
And he was telling me, like,
"You're never gonna leave me."
116
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:54,120
"The only way that you'll ever leave me
is if I kill you, bitch."
117
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,080
[ominous music plays]
118
00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,080
I remember saying to him,
like, "I love you."
119
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,280
"Why are you doing this to me?"
120
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:04,960
And he would tell me,
121
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,880
"Fear lasts longer than love."
122
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,200
Like he never wanted to hear...
123
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,320
[deep inhale]
124
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,000
...um, that I loved him.
125
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,520
[grim instrumental music plays]
126
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,000
I would tell myself
that if I could just help him
127
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,680
or get him away from the drug scene
128
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,760
that our marriage would be better.
129
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,040
[birds chirping]
130
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:45,680
But the abuse with Javon
continued throughout our marriage.
131
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,640
I learned really early on
132
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:54,200
that the less that I struggled
during a strangulation,
133
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,120
the quicker I would pass out.
134
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,600
And that made things easier.
135
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,960
I do believe
136
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,240
that Javon loved me.
137
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,000
But the only way he knew how to show me
was through violence.
138
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,360
[birds chirping]
139
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,840
It was just...
140
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,040
a nightmare,
141
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,440
but I think that also is what made
142
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:21,960
the good times so good,
143
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,840
because they were
so far and few in between... [chokes up]
144
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,200
...and we cherished them.
145
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,600
[sniffles]
146
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,240
[birds chirping]
147
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,040
[somber melodic music plays]
148
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,120
[birds chirping]
149
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,600
[birds chirping]
150
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:11,200
I didn't really want anyone to know
how bad it was,
151
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,840
so I just tried to keep it under wraps
and appease him.
152
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,080
[inhales deeply]
153
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:22,960
But then he was closer to his old friends
and started using drugs again,
154
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,760
and it just got ugly.
155
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,200
[birds chirping]
156
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,680
He locked me in the room.
157
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,040
[sighs]
158
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,000
Beat me with a belt.
159
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:35,720
Um...
160
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:42,040
Held knives and screwdrivers to my neck
as he would sexually assault me.
161
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,120
And he would be just telling me,
162
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,160
"I will kill everybody.
I have nothing to lose."
163
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,360
And I believed him.
164
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,920
I knew, at this point...
165
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,840
something had to change
166
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,560
because now it wasn't about me.
167
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:05,360
He wasn't just hurting me.
He was threatening to hurt everybody.
168
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,760
[eerie instrumental music plays]
169
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,720
[music intensifies]
170
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,720
[music crescendos]
171
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,600
Which brought us to Good Friday,
172
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,440
which would have been April 14th of 2017.
173
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,160
[birds chirping]
174
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,640
I just remember being really anxious
175
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:47,640
because it was gonna be the first time
since obtaining the order of protection
176
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,400
that I was going to be alone in the house.
177
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,960
[tense instrumental music plays]
178
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,960
I went downstairs.
179
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,400
And when I opened up the family room door...
180
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:04,880
[music intensifies]
181
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,960
...Javon was standing there.
182
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:14,720
He flew forward at me,
grabbed me by my throat.
183
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,200
He started dragging me up the stairs, um...
184
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,400
[gasps]
185
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,560
...um, by my neck.
186
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,160
The scariest thing in the world
is to know that somebody else...
187
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,280
[inhales sharply]
188
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,520
...is holding your life in their hands.
189
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,120
He started checking
the windows and the doors,
190
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,880
making sure they were all locked.
191
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,760
He went back downstairs.
192
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:43,680
And then,
193
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,000
I heard him call my name.
194
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,040
And... I went downstairs. [chokes up]
195
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,600
[music intensifies]
196
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,080
[quavers] And when I stepped into
the bedroom...
197
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,200
he was holding a gun.
198
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,960
And he pulled the trigger.
199
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,200
And the gun jammed. It didn't go off.
200
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,680
[ragged breath]
201
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:12,560
So he became angry
that the gun was, like, not working
202
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,720
and he hit me over the head with it.
203
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,600
And whenever he did, um,
204
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,000
it fell to the ground.
205
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,040
So I picked it up,
and I just remember, like...
206
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,680
aiming it at him, and, um...
207
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:32,160
I told him, "I want... Just leave.
Just get out."
208
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,640
And he didn't want to.
209
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,360
So he stepped forward,
210
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:40,480
and whenever he made that forward motion,
I just pulled the trigger.
211
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,480
[gunshot echoes]
212
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,480
I hit him about right here
in his left shoulder.
213
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,480
And, um, he screamed,
214
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,040
like, "Ah! You hit me!"
215
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,440
And then lunged forward at me again, um,
216
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,840
grabbed me by my wrists.
217
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:58,920
[swallows]
218
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,160
So my hands were kind of up like this,
219
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,960
and he had both my wrists,
220
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,720
and I pulled the trigger again.
221
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,800
And he was flinging me around
and slamming me to the ground.
222
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,200
And in that motion,
I pulled the trigger again.
223
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,280
[inhales sharply]
224
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,320
Um...
225
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,840
When he landed on top of me,
226
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,160
like as we were coming down on the ground,
227
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,680
he said, "Fuck it.
We're gonna die together, bitch."
228
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,800
[sharp inhale]
229
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,400
And he laid his head right next to my head
230
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:33,280
and he grabbed the back... handle,
like the butt of the gun,
231
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,640
and aimed it towards his left ear.
232
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:39,960
And I just wrapped my finger around
to grab control of the handle
233
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,800
and pulled the trigger.
234
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,760
And, um...
235
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,400
I just remember that last final shot.
236
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,160
Just feeling the weight of him
on top of me.
237
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,360
Everything was black.
238
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,600
[music crescendos]
239
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,720
I never realized my eyes were closed.
240
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,520
[quavers] Like, I thought it was black
because I was, like, dead.
241
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,640
I thought it was...
242
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,160
[gasps]
243
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,760
[hoarsely] And then, um...
244
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:16,160
I just kind of crawled out from under him
when I realized,
245
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,560
like, "Okay, it's over. I'm not...
I'm not dead."
246
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,600
[birds chirping]
247
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,480
[somber music plays]
248
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,520
My mom pulled up from work...
249
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,560
[phone ringing]
250
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,240
...and the phone was ringing.
251
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,240
[ringing continues]
252
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,520
And it's saying, like, Johnson County
on the caller ID.
253
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,560
[ringing continues]
254
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,760
I have no recollection of calling 911,
but I remember that I did call 911.
255
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,720
And I handed her the phone.
256
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,000
[ringing]
257
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,240
And I was, like, shaking my head no.
258
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,680
I was like, "Please."
259
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,960
I just felt like, in that moment,
260
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,840
my best decision
of protecting my family and my children
261
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,760
was to not...
262
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,320
let anybody know.
263
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,600
My mom answered the phone.
264
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,520
[muffled clicking]
265
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:17,040
And, um, she said it was a mistake.
"We didn't mean to call."
266
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,240
The dispatch then said to her, um...
267
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,600
[inhales] "We're gonna send somebody out
there anyways."
268
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,080
So I went and sat outside...
269
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,160
[birds chirping]
270
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,480
...and waited for the police.
271
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:38,080
[inhales] I remember my mom coming out
to the front step
272
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,240
and kind of tapped me on my shoulder,
rubbed me, and said,
273
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,480
"Come inside, Jem. No one's coming."
274
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,680
[cryptic music plays]
275
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,120
[traffic passes]
276
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,160
[indistinct chatter]
277
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,840
[steam hissing]
278
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,200
My name is Margaret Heffernan,
279
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,200
and I'm the mother of Jema Donahue.
280
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,160
[Margaret] Jema is the youngest
of three of my children.
281
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:48,400
I can remember her
as, um, an infant sitting on my lap,
282
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,400
and I said, "You'll never be too old."
283
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,640
She excelled in school.
284
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,200
[somber melodic music plays]
285
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,800
Things were going in the right direction
286
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:06,960
until she was sexually assaulted
at the age of 13 by a 21-year-old man.
287
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,840
[tense discordant music plays]
288
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,760
I was given the excuse
that they couldn't locate him.
289
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,720
I was very surprised.
290
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,480
So I told my son to go to school.
291
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,960
First one that could tell me where he is,
292
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,920
I would give them a hundred dollars.
293
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,360
And in 15 minutes, that phone rang
294
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,560
and I was told where he was.
295
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:54,800
And I went out
296
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,840
and sat in the car
297
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,320
and waited for him to come out to his
298
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,480
and followed him.
299
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,480
He started coming towards me
and swearing at me.
300
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,960
It's like a switch went off on me.
301
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,000
And I drove straight for him.
302
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,480
I was going to hit him.
303
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,400
[music intensifies]
304
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,120
And the individual jumped over hedges.
305
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,680
I lost common sense,
I guess you could say.
306
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,640
[birds chirping]
307
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:38,480
I had the sheriff's department
come out to my house.
308
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,400
[somber melodic music plays]
309
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,840
[Margaret sighs]
310
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,360
They said, um...
311
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,920
well, possibly,
if I don't press charges against him,
312
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,600
they won't press charges against me.
313
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,240
And I said I would not drop the charges.
314
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,240
[birds singing]
315
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,760
Jema was very angry with me
316
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:01,640
for contacting, um, the police.
317
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,320
She felt that I betrayed her,
318
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,720
and, um, our relationship, I would say,
319
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,680
was damaged through her teenage years
because of that.
320
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,240
[quavers] You want to protect your child.
321
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,600
And you want to be able
to handle a situation.
322
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,840
[inhales sharply]
323
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,520
And it was out of my hands.
324
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:39,080
[grim instrumental music plays]
325
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,320
[music intensifies]
326
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:54,800
I questioned him,
327
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,760
and I said, "Did you put your hands
on my daughter?"
328
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:00,720
And he didn't answer me.
329
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,920
And I told him, "You just answered me
by saying nothing."
330
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,840
I says, "Promise me you will never
lay your hands on her again,"
331
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,160
and he wouldn't say the words.
332
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:18,440
I'm angry that
he hurt my daughter repeatedly.
333
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,800
Especially, you know, when I asked him,
"Please don't."
334
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,440
She's a survivor of domestic violence.
335
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,240
It was self-defense.
336
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,320
Nobody knows what they're going to do
until they're in the situation,
337
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:45,400
and...
338
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:48,720
and it's done.
339
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,800
[moody instrumental music plays]
340
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,600
[birds chirping]
341
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:58,840
[music crescendos]
342
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,360
[birds chirping]
343
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,080
My name's Aaron Brown,
and I'm a major here
344
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,560
with the Johnson County, Missouri
Sheriff's Office.
345
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,880
I got a call from a... a source.
346
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,920
[indistinct radio chatter]
347
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,760
They advised that, um, Javon Donahue
348
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,160
was, in fact, shot and killed
by his wife Jema.
349
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,920
Um... And during the process of that,
350
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,520
um, the body was taken to the farm
and buried on the farm.
351
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,000
[music intensifies]
352
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,360
[eerie discordant music plays]
353
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,920
We went out to the residence,
uh, the farm.
354
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,160
But Johnson County is, is a rural county.
355
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:11,400
It's a cattle-grazing, uh, farms area.
356
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,680
Um, so just merely driving down a road,
357
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,840
uh, you're not able to see terribly much,
just the house.
358
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,600
We needed a helicopter or a plane
to go overhead to look at this property.
359
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,440
[cryptic melodic music plays]
360
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,960
At this point, it is a crime scene.
361
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:47,880
So we tape it off,
362
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,680
uh, we begin coordinated interviews
with everybody that was on the property
363
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:52,760
or in the house.
364
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:57,640
And during a conversation
with one of the individuals at the farm,
365
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,800
they advised that they knew
where Javon was buried at on the property.
366
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,040
And they led us to Javon.
367
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,240
We dug up the body,
368
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:16,000
wrapped in a white tarp
with rope around, uh, the tarp.
369
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,240
[passing traffic]
370
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,200
[grim melodic music plays]
371
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,920
We needed to locate those individuals
372
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,120
and conduct interviews with them
immediately.
373
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,000
And, uh, one of those
happened to be Jema's mom.
374
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:55,920
Just shut it off.
375
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,480
Just shut it off and I'll talk to you.
376
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,520
[birds chirping]
377
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,640
[dog barking]
378
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,720
[birds singing]
379
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:30,600
[Margaret] I told them
I saw Jema standing outside, dazed.
380
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,200
She said, "Javon is in the house."
381
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,480
I says, "We need to call the police."
382
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,520
"No, he's dead."
383
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,080
I said, "Are you sure he's dead?"
384
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,120
And she says, "He's dead."
385
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,360
[eerie music plays]
386
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,080
[phone ringing]
387
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:52,400
[ringing continues]
388
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,880
She had dialed 911 and hung up.
389
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:57,960
[ringing continues]
390
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,120
911 called back.
391
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:02,920
[ringing]
392
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,040
She's throwing the phone at me.
She's shaking her head no,
393
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,360
back and forth, but no words.
394
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,640
[receiver clicking]
395
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:13,000
And I told them,
"I'm sorry to bother you,"
396
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,520
that I made a mistake.
397
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,280
And he said, "Unfortunately,
we still have to send somebody out."
398
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,480
And I said, "I understand."
399
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,960
[quavers] I remember saying to her,
400
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,240
"When the cops come, Jema,
401
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,280
please let me tell them I did this."
402
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:34,920
[smacks lips]
403
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,200
"I lived my life."
404
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,400
"You have children to raise."
405
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,000
She said, "No, Mom. I will not."
406
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,720
But it's what I wanted to do.
407
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,400
[somber melodic music plays]
408
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,840
I let Jema down when she was 13,
409
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:02,560
and I felt
410
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,720
I can't do that again to her.
411
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:12,200
I remember our relationship
just being undone
412
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,600
overnight.
413
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,640
I didn't want to go through that again.
414
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,520
[birds chirping]
415
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,240
We were probably out there
a good 45 minutes, and they never came.
416
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:36,560
And I told myself maybe this is
the way it's supposed to be.
417
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,720
When the police didn't show up
at the house was the turning point
418
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,800
that we'll take matters
into our own hands.
419
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,160
I thought, "Okay, we can do this."
420
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,720
"We can get away with this."
421
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,960
[eerie discordant music plays]
422
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,480
We placed Javon's body
423
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,160
in an area that he dug.
424
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,240
And he says, "I don't want you to know
where I'm gonna bury him."
425
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,280
"I have two other holes dug."
426
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,440
And I thought,
"Well, that's good that I... I won't know."
427
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:35,680
I... I prayed that Jema
was gonna be strong enough
428
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,560
to keep her mouth shut
429
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,640
and not share this with anybody.
430
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,880
That we would have to go to our grave
431
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,320
knowing what we did.
432
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,040
[somber melodic music plays]
433
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,200
[sirens wailing]
434
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,720
[downbeat instrumental music plays]
435
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,160
My name is Dr. Lisa Witcher.
436
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:15,080
And I was a state-appointed
forensic examiner, um, for Jema's case.
437
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,520
When we're looking
at battered spouse syndrome,
438
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,280
we're looking for the cycle of violence.
439
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,160
Part one is this tension-building phase.
440
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,440
[grim music plays]
441
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:50,360
So where you start seeing
the perpetrator of the abuse
442
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:55,080
becoming triggered by either you
or the environment around them.
443
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,360
The second phase
is the acute or crisis phase.
444
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,040
That is when violence occurs.
445
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,760
After that, the honeymoon phase,
446
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,200
when the batterer promises
447
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,120
to never let that happen again.
448
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,120
And then the cycle starts over again.
449
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,400
[Jema] There was an incident.
450
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,040
We were in a motel room.
451
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,160
And Javon raped me, sodomized me,
452
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,760
and afterwards, he called his friend
453
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,240
and was kind of laughing and making jokes,
454
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:48,800
saying, "How long is it gonna take her
to stop, like, bleeding?"
455
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,920
Like, from my rectum. And...
456
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,280
Just anything to humiliate me
or degrade me.
457
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,480
[Lisa] You know, calling and bragging
about beating a woman...
458
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:09,200
It's either a twisted call
for somebody to come intervene
459
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,400
or it's truly despicable.
460
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,720
It's truly someone
who believes that they have
461
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:20,960
done what's right
462
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,280
and taken what's theirs.
463
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:32,000
I am surprised that Jema made it
as long as she did.
464
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,720
And that she is alive
at the end of this story.
465
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,320
Had he not come to the house that day,
466
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,040
I don't think
he would have stopped pursuing her.
467
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,840
She meets all of the factors
468
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,920
that we look for, um,
469
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,880
and that research has shown
is tied to women who become
470
00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:59,200
battered spouses.
471
00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:04,920
[tense discordant music plays]
472
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,560
[sirens wailing]
473
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:20,720
[man] To my knowledge,
474
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,680
battered spouse as a self-defense
475
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,120
has not been successful yet in Missouri.
476
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:32,600
It's been here a while, but it has not
really ever been a successful defense.
477
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,000
Okay, come on.
478
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,480
But the question wasn't whether or not
479
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,960
she suffered
from battered spouse syndrome.
480
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:46,320
It was whether or not
she used deadly force
481
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,720
justifiably under the circumstances.
482
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:55,600
A slap to the face
doesn't justify someone shooting someone.
483
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,040
My name is Rob Russell,
484
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:04,680
and I was the attorney
who prosecuted Ms. Jema Donahue
485
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,800
for the homicide of Javon Donahue.
486
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,680
[Jema] As we were coming down
on the ground, he said,
487
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,520
"Fuck it.
We're gonna die together, bitch."
488
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:19,120
And he laid his head
right next to my head
489
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,160
and he grabbed the butt of the gun
490
00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:23,800
and aimed it towards his left ear.
491
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,840
And I just wrapped my finger around
492
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:27,840
and pulled the trigger.
493
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:33,800
And, um, I just remember
that last final shot. Just...
494
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,080
feeling the weight of him on top of me.
495
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:39,640
Well,
496
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:45,480
her story doesn't match up
with the injuries suffered by Mr. Donahue.
497
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,840
There are four bullets in his body.
498
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,440
One is in the shoulder.
499
00:36:56,320 --> 00:37:00,280
One is through his jaw.
500
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,440
One is in the back of his head.
501
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,520
And one is underneath his chin,
straight up.
502
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,240
The shot to the back of the head
would have been a fatal shot.
503
00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:14,200
The shot underneath his chin
was a fatal shot.
504
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,160
His jaw would have been broken
505
00:37:17,240 --> 00:37:21,560
in such a way that he would not
have been able to talk to her
506
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,320
and tell her that he loved her
507
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,760
in this Romeo and Juliet moment,
they were both going to die together.
508
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,760
That didn't happen
because he couldn't talk.
509
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,840
So, I don't think the jury really
510
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:39,760
bought into
that she was acting in self-defense.
511
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,840
Certainly, when people try to...
512
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,000
hide evidence of homicide,
513
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,800
and certainly hiding the body
514
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,080
tends to give you the impression
515
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,560
that the person who's doing that
has a guilty conscience.
516
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:14,120
If they had accepted the self-defense
argument from Ms. Donahue,
517
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,760
she would have been found
completely not guilty.
518
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:22,080
But instead,
they found her guilty of manslaughter.
519
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,320
[car horn honking]
520
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,920
[somber melodic music plays]
521
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:49,880
[Lisa] I think that the decisions
that were made after Javon was killed
522
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,000
did put her in prison.
523
00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:57,640
The dedication to burying the body
524
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:03,160
really stuck in the craw
of a lot of the jury members.
525
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,120
[traffic noise]
526
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,520
Her mom certainly
could have acted differently.
527
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:18,080
I don't know if in her mother's mind
528
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,080
that that was really a choice,
529
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:26,160
but the concealment of Javon's body
530
00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:28,640
made things a lot worse for Jema.
531
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,200
[Jema] I blame my mother, um...
532
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:40,800
for a lot that happened,
um, when I was a teenager.
533
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,880
I really wasn't allowed to have friends.
534
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,200
My mom would do background checks
on everybody.
535
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,880
So I stayed at home a lot.
536
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,800
[Lisa] You know, becoming a social pariah
537
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,960
at a very young age
for a sexual assault she could not help.
538
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:03,280
Then the...
539
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:08,600
the withholding
of any type of social relationship.
540
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:13,400
Essentially, what her mom was doing
was holding her hostage.
541
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:19,480
Holding her in such a safe place,
542
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:26,080
um, that it went overboard.
It went overboard into, quite honestly,
543
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,080
emotional abuse.
544
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,880
Um, not letting your child
out of the house ever.
545
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:35,960
Not letting her socialize
in any normal type of way
546
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:40,160
certainly sets up
a sense of learned helplessness.
547
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,600
I don't think
there's anything malicious about it.
548
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:49,640
I just do not believe
their relationship has ever been healthy.
549
00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,480
[eerie music plays]
550
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,920
[grim music plays]
551
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:06,960
Jema describes her mother
as "an evil, wicked woman
552
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,720
who is controlling and vengeful."
553
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,680
"If she has the chance, she will kill me.
I'm sure of it."
554
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,080
"She will bury me
like she did my husband."
555
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:19,720
[music crescendos]
556
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,280
It's very possible that the line,
557
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,320
"She will bury me
like she buried my husband,"
558
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,440
was Jema's acknowledgement of
559
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:34,400
"I'm into this even further now
because of her involvement."
560
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,520
[birds chirping]
561
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,760
[Jema] During my trial, um...
562
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,120
I had a strained relationship
with my parents.
563
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,800
I was drinking.
564
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:55,160
I was abusing drugs. Um...
565
00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:01,200
Do I think today that my mother
would kill me or bury me in a field?
566
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:02,960
No.
567
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,320
We've come so far.
568
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,440
It's not even the same relationship.
569
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,480
Like, we're not even the same people.
570
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,840
I've made great strides,
and she's made great strides.
571
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:19,640
[somber melodic music plays]
572
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,080
[Margaret] I've changed as a parent
573
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,600
realizing that
574
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:32,320
my ways of being a helicopter mom
over an adult was wrong.
575
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,400
It's... It's their life, their choice,
their decisions,
576
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,560
and their consequences.
577
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:46,400
This part of me that always had
to be in control and fix problems.
578
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:50,560
Why give myself more problems
than I already have, you know?
579
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:51,560
It's just, um...
580
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,360
It's not my problem.
I don't need to fix it.
581
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,040
Of course, I would do things differently.
582
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,200
I blame the police not showing up.
583
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:08,800
But ultimately, I, I told them,
like, "You don't have to come."
584
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:10,920
"It was a mistake."
585
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:15,520
So I started that.
586
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,560
I started that with a lie.
587
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,120
And the day had to come
where I had to acknowledge it.
588
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,000
I have learned a lot,
589
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,280
you know, about accountability
590
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:36,320
and the importance of it
591
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,080
in order for a person
to learn by their mistakes.
592
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,640
I have seen such improvement in Jema
593
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:48,200
since she's been incarcerated.
594
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,800
She lights up when I see her,
when I visit her.
595
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,200
And always a big hug, a kiss on the cheek.
596
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:04,600
That's my daughter.
That's the baby that I had.
597
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,560
[birds chirping]
598
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,360
[Jema] When I first came to prison, um...
599
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,040
life was in an uproar.
600
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,960
But once I started to take advantage
of the different programs...
601
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,960
I enrolled in, like, women's empowerment.
602
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:49,480
I was able to kind of see my prison life
in a different light.
603
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:50,760
[birds chirping]
604
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,560
It wasn't so much condemnation
605
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,000
as much as rehabilitation.
606
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,800
Also, in here,
607
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,000
I've learned accountability
608
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:07,560
because the fact is I still made
the choices that I made.
609
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,960
[Rob] The shot to the back of the head
would have been a fatal shot.
610
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,360
The shot underneath his chin
was a fatal shot.
611
00:45:18,720 --> 00:45:23,800
He would not have been able to talk to her
and tell her that he loved her
612
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:27,400
in this Romeo and Juliet moment,
they were both going to die together.
613
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,000
That didn't happen.
614
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:35,040
There was no Romeo and Juliet moment,
where Javon said, "Do you love me?"
615
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:39,320
He said, "We're gonna die together, bitch.
Till death do us part."
616
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,400
Those were his words
617
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,440
as he was flinging me around
and slamming me to the ground.
618
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,320
It's a really hard situation to decide,
619
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,640
um... whose life is more important.
620
00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:53,720
Or do you take the chance
of fighting for your life?
621
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:55,880
[sighs]
622
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:59,040
I hate the fact
623
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,600
that I have to wake up every day...
[chokes up]
624
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,880
...and know that I took somebody's life.
625
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:09,640
And on top of that,
it was someone's life whom I loved.
626
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,160
[Margaret] I remember saying to her,
627
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:16,520
"When the cops come, Jema,
628
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,480
please, let me tell them I did this."
629
00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:24,200
And she said, "No, Mom."
630
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:26,160
"I will not."
631
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,520
I admire...
632
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:33,840
[inhales]
633
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:38,840
...what my mother risked in helping me
634
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:40,360
and trying to save me.
635
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:44,800
She threw everything away.
636
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:47,840
And honestly,
637
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,440
I probably would do it
for my children as well.
638
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,960
I mean, not go about it like that, but...
639
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:02,120
we do what we need to
to protect and save our... our babies.
640
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,840
This time in our life is almost over, and...
641
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,200
I see all good days ahead for us.
642
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:28,480
[somber discordant music plays]