1 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:18,960 What I know now 2 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,120 is that there were a lot of people out there that loved Robby. 3 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,480 I loved him, too, because he was wonderful. 4 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,200 It's not fair that Robby is not here. 5 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,720 He was only 25... 6 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,680 and he had his whole life ahead of him, 7 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,560 but I made the choice. 8 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:11,320 I took his life... 9 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,360 and there's nothing I can do to undo it. 10 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,280 This is a true story. 11 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:32,960 I'll start it off like that. 12 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,280 I just wanted to rebel. I wanted to cause chaos. 13 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,120 I looked over at him. We'll see who kills who, huh? 14 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,520 I made the choice. 15 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,640 I took his life. 16 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,160 It's something that I never intended to do, 17 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,440 I wish I didn't do. 18 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,560 I knew I was gonna get out of that car and murder those two men. 19 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,040 As he kneeled in front of me, 20 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,560 all I remember is pulling the trigger. 21 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,040 I'd killed them both. 22 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,640 I'd stabbed them to death. 23 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,080 -Oh, goodness. - Doesn't help. 24 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,400 It's difficult to get it in the right position. 25 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:47,760 Yeah, it's weird. 26 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,160 My name is Lindsay Haugen. 27 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,080 I grew up in Portland, Oregon. 28 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,120 I enjoyed going to church. 29 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,200 Um, I loved to study the Bible and I loved to sing. 30 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,040 In high school, I became very rebellious 31 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,880 and I started to do things that maybe I would have said no to before. 32 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:31,400 I started smoking marijuana and hanging out with a different crowd. 33 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:36,960 Around 15, 34 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,360 I started to run away from home. 35 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,200 I spent the rest of the time in Portland, on the streets, 36 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,520 living with a very rough crowd, and I went straight from 37 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,040 trying marijuana a couple of times, to... 38 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,600 taking methamphetamines, um, with a needle. 39 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,800 And from there, it became... 40 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,200 heroin, and I realized that I was addicted. 41 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,640 And I was probably 16. 42 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,040 One day, I decided to take a pregnancy test, 43 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,320 and it turned out I'd been pregnant for three months 44 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,000 and I had just turned 17. 45 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,560 I changed... I changed right then. 46 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,080 I stopped using drugs, 47 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,760 and I wanted to be a parent. 48 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:31,000 I wanted to do well, and I wanted to take care of my son. 49 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,560 I loved basic training. I loved the uniform. 50 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,800 I loved being able to do more push-ups than the boys, 51 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,560 and it was probably some of the best times of my life. 52 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,680 I met this man in the end of 2013. 53 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,600 He was in the Army as well. 54 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,760 Almost immediately, 55 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,000 he was mean to me when he drank whiskey. 56 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,400 He would lose his mind over things that didn't even matter, 57 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,200 or weren't real, that he would make up in his head. 58 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,960 He told me he didn't like my work 59 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,840 because there were too many attractive men there. 60 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:34,280 And... I tried to tell him I'm used to it. This is what I've always worked around, 61 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,080 and it doesn't affect me. I don't even notice them. 62 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,520 But it didn't matter. It made him crazy. 63 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,840 He hit me while I was driving a couple of times, 64 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,440 just trying to get me to say what he wanted me to say. 65 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,360 He just wanted to hear me tell him that I was not being faithful. 66 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,280 I remember nights of him throwing me on the floor 67 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,080 and spitting chewed-up food on me, 68 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,520 pouring beer on my head... 69 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:05,880 Um... 70 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,360 raping me... 71 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,120 in all sorts of ways 72 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:14,720 and calling me dirty, calling me names that I wouldn't repeat. 73 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,040 And it got worse. 74 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,640 I remember one time he... 75 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:28,880 He spit on me... 76 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,920 while I was in the bathroom. 77 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,240 And so, I stood up... 78 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,840 I knew he blocked the only way out. 79 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,080 And so, I lifted my arm to swing at him, and he grabbed my hand. 80 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,880 And then he grabbed my other hand, and he crushed them. 81 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:43,560 I screamed... 82 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,080 until he started mocking my screams. 83 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,720 And so, I stopped screaming, and I looked him in the eye, 84 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,440 and I felt my hand break. 85 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:56,800 And... 86 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,520 he put me in a choke-hold. 87 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,240 I said, "If you're gonna do this, please don't let me wake up, 88 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,000 because I can't do this anymore." 89 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,400 And so, he held me in that choke-hold, 90 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,680 and made me look at myself in the mirror and said, "Watch yourself die." 91 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:22,960 And it went dark. 92 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,200 I found myself at home with no one to talk to but my dog, 93 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,800 drinking... drinking a lot. 94 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,040 I would wake up and I would drink. 95 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,760 I would drink until I went to sleep and I would wake up and drink again. 96 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,120 It felt crazy. 97 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,080 So, when I met Robby, I had just gotten out of a tough relationship, 98 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,120 and he had just gotten out of rehab in June of that year. 99 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,400 But I didn't know that. 100 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,880 What I knew was that there was this beautiful smile 101 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,440 sitting in a big pile of empty beer cans on the floor, 102 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,080 with no shirt on and dreadlocks. 103 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,000 And... 104 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,120 just very carefree. 105 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,320 He leaned back on his hands, 106 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,120 and he just went, "Hi," and... 107 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,080 there was just kind of this instant connection. 108 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,880 Robby embraced what he called a traveler lifestyle... 109 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,440 but he really lived it a lot harder than a lot of people did. 110 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,880 He would hop freight trains 111 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,680 and ride to wherever they were going, 112 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,240 hitchhike, whatever it was, 113 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,800 just traveling, never really staying in one place for a long time. 114 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,320 And I said, "I'll give you a place to stay. 115 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,400 You don't have to do anything. Just be here when I get home." 116 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:34,360 And he said, "I just can't stay in one place any longer. I need to go." 117 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,400 I said, "Okay, I'll come with you." 118 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:51,760 There were times when we'd be on the road. I'd be singing to him. 119 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,200 He'd just look at me and say, "I just love you." 120 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,320 And I just adored him. 121 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:58,560 He was my best friend. 122 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,240 And there were times when I would expect him 123 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:11,960 to treat me poorly, or to accuse me of something, or to think badly of me... 124 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,280 and he just wouldn't. 125 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,320 And... I treasured it. 126 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,680 I loved it so much. 127 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,560 But there was a time when we were driving... 128 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,400 Um, I think we were in Montana at that point, and... 129 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,400 I was looking at the scenery, just enjoying it, 130 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,400 thinking, "Man, this is awesome, look around us," and... 131 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,520 he looks at me, and he holds my hand, and he says... 132 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,560 "I wish I could just be happy with you, 133 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,000 but I'm not. 134 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,920 And it's not you." 135 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,720 And it just crushed me. 136 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,480 He kept telling me he wanted to see what the next life was like. 137 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,040 He was hurting. 138 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,880 He'd always be talking or motioning 139 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,240 as though he was shooting himself in the head. 140 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,160 Talking about how he wanted to die, about how tired he was. 141 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,760 And I just kept trying to bring him back from that. 142 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,440 "Robby, you're better than that. Robby, you have so much to live for." 143 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,560 I took it personally, 144 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,760 like I wasn't enough for him to be happy with. 145 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:55,040 One day, he looked at me, and again, he said, "Lindsay, I'm tired. 146 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,720 I don't wanna do this anymore. 147 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,360 I just wanna die." 148 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,400 So, I said... 149 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,040 "I know of a way to do it that won't hurt. 150 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,880 You'll just go unconscious, and then you just won't wake up." 151 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,280 He looked at me, his eyes sparkled, 152 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,480 and he said, "You would do that for me?" 153 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,480 And I said, "Robby, I love you. I would do anything for you." 154 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,080 And he said, "Okay." 155 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,360 And that floored me, and I broke down, and I cried so hard. 156 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,560 And so, he said, "No, no, no, no." 157 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,000 He hated to see me sad. He hated to see me cry. 158 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,640 And so he held me and he said, 159 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,600 "No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Don't be sad. Please don't be sad." 160 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,440 He just held me and we slept that night. 161 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,280 And the next morning, I woke up, and I said, 162 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,040 "I'm sorry I couldn't do that last night. 163 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,160 I didn't expect you to be so ready." 164 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,200 And he said... 165 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,960 "I couldn't have expected you to do that for me." 166 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,160 And there, again, my heart broke. 167 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,040 I expected him to say, 168 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,360 "No, we were just drunk, I didn't mean it," or... 169 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:32,200 you know, "I'm glad you didn't, because, you know, today is nice," or something. 170 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,360 But, no, he said, 171 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,000 "I couldn't have expected that from you." 172 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,800 And so I just felt like I'd let him down again. 173 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:59,800 When we got to Billings, we sat in the parking lot at Walmart. 174 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,200 We had wine to drink, enjoyed the sun. 175 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,720 And we got back in the truck, 176 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,600 and he motioned again... 177 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,160 that he was shooting himself in the head. 178 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,280 And I... 179 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,200 I... I just felt like I was letting him down again, like I just... 180 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,120 I thought we were having a nice day, 181 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,480 but now here he is again, just wanting to die. 182 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,480 And I asked, "Is that really what you want?" 183 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,480 And he said, "Yes." 184 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,040 And I said, "Are you sure?" 185 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,440 And he said, "Yes." 186 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:46,680 So I said, "Okay." 187 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,360 And I sat on the center console, and I said, "Come here." 188 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,200 And he came to me. 189 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,000 And I put... 190 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,400 my arms around his neck, 191 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,840 and then, he just bowed his head. 192 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,800 When I started, I didn't feel like I could really do it. 193 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:34,360 I squeezed, and I could tell it wasn't hard enough. 194 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:39,600 And so, 195 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,520 I put my other arm behind his neck 196 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,480 and squeezed until he was unconscious. 197 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,360 And... 198 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,280 ...he shook. 199 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,240 I thought maybe he was waking up. 200 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,640 I thought maybe he was gonna stop me. 201 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,960 But then he stopped. He stopped shaking. 202 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,240 And I knew I had to go. 203 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,320 And so, I buckled him in... and... 204 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,760 I went to drive out of the parking lot, 205 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,560 and I realized I had no idea where I was. 206 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:26,920 And I... 207 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,840 I looked... 208 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,400 I looked to Robby because he always knew where to go. 209 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,320 And... 210 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,400 And I said, "Baby, where do I go?" 211 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,480 And he looked like he was sleeping. 212 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,000 And I started to think about... 213 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,320 how I could get him back. 214 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,200 And I pulled into traffic 215 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,080 and crossed lanes and got into a parking lot. 216 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,360 I unbuckled his seat belt, and I put him on the center console... 217 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,440 ...and I started doing CPR. 218 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,720 And I breathed into him, and I could hear... 219 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,040 ...like air was going in, like something was happening, 220 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:13,560 and I begged him, "Robby, please, wake up, please, wake up!" 221 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,120 And then, I heard a knock on the window. 222 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,960 And somebody said, "Excuse me." 223 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,160 There was a police officer. 224 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:26,680 I just told him, "I killed him. 225 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,760 Please bring him back." 226 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,560 This is a good time. 227 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,400 There's Robby. 228 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,440 My name is Dori Greeson, 229 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,160 and I was born and raised in Tampa, Florida. 230 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,920 I love this one. 231 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,160 Robby was my son. 232 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,680 I met my first husband, Bob Mast... 233 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,000 when I was 24. 234 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,640 We had our first son, Benjamin, 235 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,840 and then, we had our second son, Robby, in 1990. 236 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,080 Robby was fun. 237 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,920 He was outgoing. 238 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,320 Of course, I loved him very much. And he was so precious. 239 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,560 Well, my name is Gene, and I actually became... 240 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:08,000 a part of this family in May of 1996. 241 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,280 I got to be... 242 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,840 I'd been Robby's stepfather about, uh... 243 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,840 I guess, 12 years or so before they left home. 244 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,240 And I thought we had a good 12 years. 245 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,600 I didn't know when I'd see him again. I had no idea where he was going. 246 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,640 And Gene and I were standing on the road, and I just collapsed... 247 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:55,040 in Gene's arms, because I thought, "Where's he going? What's he gonna do?" 248 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,760 It was a year and, uh, 24 days 249 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,600 before we heard from him. 250 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,000 The reason we didn't hear from him very often 251 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,040 was because he knew that his lifestyle 252 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,000 would be painful to us, 253 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,720 especially if he called us when he was drinking. 254 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,200 We'd be able to tell. And he knew that would make us sad. 255 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,920 There was just so much we didn't know. 256 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:48,240 In May, he checked himself into a alcohol rehab. 257 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,560 Got to talk to his supervisors. 258 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,920 Everybody said he was doing so well. 259 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,680 And so, we thought we would hear when he got out. 260 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,560 We never heard from him again. 261 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,920 Next thing we heard was, you know, four months later, he was dead. 262 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,360 It was September the 17th. 263 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,480 When the phone rang, 264 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,200 she just told me that Robby was dead, just like that. 265 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,600 I was... Of course, I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. What? 266 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,800 I just yelled and yelled. 267 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,480 I yelled for Robby, "Robby, Robby! Come back! Robby, come back!" 268 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,000 As if he could hear me, and he would come back. Just, "Robby, come back." 269 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:37,120 And when I learned he had been murdered, I was... I was upset 270 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,560 that somebody... 271 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,200 would... would kill Robby. 272 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,720 You know? Because he was a nice guy. He was a good guy. 273 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,880 He was just a hurting guy. I thought maybe someone just killed him 274 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,240 because they didn't think he was worth anything. And I hated that. 275 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,160 Then I read about it, and I saw that it was this woman. 276 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,400 And the paper said she was his girlfriend, and I was like, 277 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,440 "No, no, no. Who is this woman? And why would she kill Robby?" 278 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,200 It's not every day that, here in Billings, we have... 279 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:36,640 a female accused of such a horrendous crime. 280 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:41,240 And not only that, but one that would use their own hands 281 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,480 to commit that crime. 282 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,760 My name's Steve Hallam. I've been with the Billings Police Department 283 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,400 here in Montana for roughly 14 years. 284 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,360 When I had Lindsay step into the interview room, 285 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,720 obviously, I kind of had an idea of how Robby lost his life. 286 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,480 And it was just to figure out what happened and why it happened. 287 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,920 And when did he start asking you to end his life for him? 288 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:20,080 - Probably about a week ago. - How'd that conversation come up? 289 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:26,240 We drank a lot of wine, and we were drunk, and he... he was just like, you know... 290 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:33,040 "I'm not happy here. I'm really not. I just wanna die. I just wanna go away." 291 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,080 And I was like, "Well, look... 292 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,160 ...I am a big, strong girl, 293 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,800 and I can take you out, and it won't hurt. 294 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,000 I promise you. 295 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:44,640 Um... 296 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,520 And if that's what you really want, 297 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,760 I love you, and I want to give that to you." 298 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,800 Very rarely, if ever, have I ever heard up until this case 299 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,720 somebody asking somebody else to kill them. 300 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,280 I've been doing this job for a long time. If somebody wants to end their life, 301 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,640 there are plenty of other ways to do it. 302 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,320 So, let's go back to, uh, this morning. 303 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,200 What were you guys talking about 304 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,280 when laying on the ground in the parking lot 305 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:14,000 -behind your Tahoe at Walmart? - Nothing at all. 306 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,160 We were talking about getting more booze. 307 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,080 -Yeah? Just shooting the shit? -Yeah. 308 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,000 No, just hanging out and making sure... 309 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,400 According to Lindsay's testimony up to this point in time, 310 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,360 they're intoxicated and talking about how good things are. 311 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,200 And now, a couple minutes later, we're inside the Tahoe. 312 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:33,000 Now, all of a sudden, she's saying that Robby's telling her he's not happy. 313 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,880 He wants to die, and he wants her to kill him. 314 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,440 It just, again, didn't make sense. 315 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,760 Show me what you did. 316 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,080 I put him in a rear naked choke like this... 317 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,080 -Okay. 318 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,040 Until he, like, he started seizing a little bit. 319 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,840 And then, he passed out. And I was like, "All right." 320 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,520 And then, once he was out, 321 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,160 I got in front of him and grabbed his nose and mouth 322 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,360 -and, like, kept his chin shut. -Okay. 323 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,400 And, like, he foamed at the mouth a little bit. 324 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,080 Like, I kept thinking he was dead, and I let him go, 325 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,440 and he'd fucking seize some more. 326 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,800 I'm like, "Robby, you really fucking want me to do this? 327 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,640 Because I don't want to." 328 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,320 And he just kept putting my hand back. 329 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,840 And I'm like, "Okay, they're apart." 330 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,680 That, right there, is an absolute lie. 331 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:23,560 If you listen to the video real carefully, she states that he kept grabbing her hand 332 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,160 and putting the hand back on his mouth. 333 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,760 Well, if you're unconscious, 334 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:32,040 you're not going to have that ability to grab somebody 335 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:34,080 and put their hand back on your mouth. 336 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:35,840 There's no way that could have happened. 337 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:41,760 Every act that she's committing on him now is at her own hand. That's it. Period. 338 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,200 What were you planning on doing with, uh, Robby's body? 339 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,320 Um... 340 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,440 I was having a hard time with that. I mean, like, you know, 341 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,760 I was having a hard time with the whole fucking thing. 342 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,800 But I was just figuring I'd find 343 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:02,560 a scarcely populated area and fucking dump him. I mean... 344 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,600 So, after she took the life from Robby, 345 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,280 she was going to find a place to bury him, drop him off. 346 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:13,280 And it seems like a total inconvenience, from her, based on her testimony. 347 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,800 And then, she's gonna go back to Washington 348 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,160 and act like she never even knew Robby. 349 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:22,440 So, that goes to show you just how much she loved Robby. 350 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:24,240 She didn't love Robby. 351 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,280 If she would have loved Robby, she would have never done this act. 352 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:32,040 Even if he begged you to do that, why did you do that? 353 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,760 We're at the point where the interview has turned from an interview 354 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:36,960 into an interrogation. 355 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,600 I was pretty stunned and shocked what came out of her mouth next. 356 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,760 Lindsay, here's the deal. I've been doing this shit for a while, okay? 357 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,760 I buy how it happened. 358 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:48,680 I buy you guys were traveling. 359 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,320 I don't buy that he was unhappy, and he begged you to take his life. 360 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,920 No, that's absolutely what happened. That's absolutely what happened. 361 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,680 But yes, um... 362 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,280 -I don't, I don't... 363 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,360 I just wanted to kill somebody with my bare hands, honestly. 364 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,800 Well, then that makes more sense to me. 365 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,880 That right there was stunning. Shocking. 366 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:14,680 I've never had anybody say that to me in an interview room before. 367 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,680 So, you just wanted to know what it felt like to kill somebody 368 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:19,960 with your bare hands? 369 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,040 -Kind of, but no. -Okay. 370 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:23,440 It was also that he asked. 371 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,280 -Hang on. One thing at a time, my dear. 372 00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:28,840 -You're making me out to be the bad guy. -No, I'm not. 373 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,760 -I'm not a bad guy. -Have I ever called you bad? 374 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,360 -No. -Are you in handcuffs right now? 375 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,880 -No. -Do I have, like, five guys next to me 376 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,680 'cause I'm scared shitless of you? 377 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:37,800 -You should be. -Huh? 378 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,000 Just kidding. 379 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,400 -No. -You know what I'm saying? 380 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,560 -I know. -All right. So, you just came out 381 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,000 and you told me you just kinda wanted to feel 382 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,840 what it would feel like to kill somebody with your bare hands. 383 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,000 What is... What made you think like that? 384 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,840 Was it past experiences or what? 385 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,440 Well, my last fiancé, 386 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,080 he broke my hand like this. 387 00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,720 And... and then he got... You know what I mean? 388 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,720 Just like I did to Robby, and fucking choked me out. 389 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,200 I remember waking up on the floor and it was like I was under water, 390 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,800 but I wasn't, and I knew he was, like, he was smothering me, and, uh... 391 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,720 I guess I just wanted to do that back, 392 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,240 but not to someone so sweet like Robby. 393 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,440 He just... He just wanted it to happen, so I... 394 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,760 I saw my opportunity, I guess. 395 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,040 Okay. 396 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,840 "I saw the opportunity." 397 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,640 That's the whole case there. 398 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,800 Perfect opportunity. He can't fight back. 399 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,160 We're in an unknown location. Nobody knows us. 400 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,720 I'm ready and willing. Let's get it done. 401 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,200 Let's... I want to take somebody's life. 402 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,800 From her own words. You can't contest 403 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,160 this video and what Lindsay says in her own words. 404 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:56,920 I think Lindsay tries to paint a picture of herself to kind of minimize 405 00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,400 who she really truly is. 406 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:07,240 She is a deliberate homicidal killer. 407 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,480 Let's see what we got here. So, there is a seven o'clock call, 408 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,840 -which is nine o'clock. -Does it say 7:00? Where? 409 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,440 -Yeah, here, at 7:00. -Got it. 410 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,000 Nine o'clock our time. 411 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,840 -Oh, 'cause we're gonna do two. -We'll do two calls in a row. 412 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,520 Dori and I have been ministering in prisons 413 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,040 for at least 14 years, and most of them that we have met 414 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:58,640 are not the same person they were before they went to prison. 415 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,800 So, we have compassion 416 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:06,160 for those people who have lost their freedom due to their own stupidity 417 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:07,840 and own bad choices. 418 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,520 Let's be quiet, because she could come on. 419 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,840 -Hi. - Hi, guys. 420 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,920 Hi. Oh, you did good. 421 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,520 -So, did you have-- -Okay. 422 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:16,960 Did you leave early? 423 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,080 No, we all left at the same time, but there was somebody on the phone, 424 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,600 -so, I had to take a walk. -Good. 425 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,800 -So, you didn't miss anything? -No. 426 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:29,000 I'm going to have to write you up though, Lindsay, you were 50 seconds late. 427 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:30,960 -Oh, man. -You need to work on that. 428 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,960 -I was doing so good. -Yeah, you're doing so good. I know. 429 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,520 Well, actually, 430 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,680 honestly, Friday, when Dori had a hard time getting on the computer, 431 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:42,240 I was, like, 30 seconds late. 432 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,080 - And I didn't know. -You were? You're admitting that now, huh? 433 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:47,400 - Yeah. 434 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:48,760 Tell us about it. 435 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,320 -How was your weekend? -It was amazing. 436 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,600 As the newest girl in choir, I'm really enjoying it. 437 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,520 I was able to forgive Lindsay 438 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,680 -because I know I am forgiven by God. -We asked the volunteer 439 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,680 if it was okay if we sang a song together. 440 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,440 To hang on to things 441 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:06,760 can bring so much resentment inside of us that it can destroy us. 442 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,280 How about you singing it for us now? 443 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,320 Can you do that? 444 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,280 -Oh, okay. -It's been a while since I've heard it. 445 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,160 ♪ How many times ♪ 446 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,880 ♪ Have I felt the shame ♪ 447 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:29,480 ♪ To see my wrongs again call my name ♪ 448 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,560 ♪ If you take the time to listen ♪ 449 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:38,120 ♪ You hear the same ♪ 450 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,320 ♪ Your sins are forgiven ♪ 451 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,560 ♪ And you are whole ♪ 452 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,880 ♪ Not guilty ♪ 453 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:50,640 Amen. 454 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,480 Thank you, Lindsay. We love hearing you sing, 455 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,240 and let's say our goodbyes. 456 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:57,400 We love you. Bye. 457 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,040 Call us anytime. Bye. 458 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:06,440 I think it's important to get the message out 459 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,920 about forgiveness, both receiving it and giving it. 460 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,400 In the beginning, I think our forgiveness was real. 461 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,920 I think what we didn't have and what you see now 462 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,040 is we didn't have a love for Lindsay. 463 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,360 I mean, how could you, you know? As I've said in my first letter, 464 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,120 I usually begin my letters with "Dear Lindsay," 465 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,160 but I certainly do not consider you dear, 466 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:42,720 given what you've done. 467 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,960 But then, it wasn't long in the letters going back and forth 468 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,280 that I could say, "Dear Lindsay." 469 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,160 I did not expect this to go this far. I just... 470 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,080 And I felt, you know, okay, 471 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,880 this precious human being is sorry. 472 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,240 She's got to pay for this in prison. 473 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,480 But the letters just kept going until now. 474 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,880 I wish you all could have been there when Dori met Lindsay. 475 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,840 We were in a room, a visiting park. They cleared it all out just for us. 476 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,200 So, Lindsay walks in. We hear her steps coming down the hall. 477 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,280 The door opens. 478 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,760 She walks in. Walking towards Dori. Dori walking to her. 479 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,200 And Lindsay says, 480 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,560 "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." 481 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:37,200 And Dori says, 482 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,960 "I forgive you. Lindsay, I forgive you. I love you." 483 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:42,400 And they hugged. 484 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,200 -Oh, thank you so much. -You're welcome. 485 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:51,880 It was just precious, 486 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:56,560 and Dori knew then her forgiveness was real, 487 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:57,960 her love was real. 488 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:02,960 Of course, I got to say, Lindsay has brought me a lot of joy 489 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,000 in how she's responded. 490 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,720 ♪ You're my friend ♪ 491 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,840 ♪ And you are my brother even though... ♪ 492 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,240 The person who took my son's life... 493 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,280 ♪ You are a king... ♪ 494 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,280 Her just saying, you know, "I'm so sorry," 495 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,480 and receiving our forgiveness. 496 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,440 She's been an example of how I need to be with my savior, 497 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,960 the one who's forgiven me. 498 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,160 ♪ ...desire and I long ♪ 499 00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:35,760 ♪ To worship thee... ♪ 500 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,120 This right here... 501 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:28,640 So, you spent Friday afternoon in Missoula with, uh, Robby, Robert Mast, 502 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:31,280 and the girl he was with, Lindsay. 503 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:35,320 She was pretty intense. They both definitely had been drinking. 504 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,760 Like, she was really, really about him. 505 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:40,960 It was like, "Oh, I'm in love with Robby. 506 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,560 I really care about him. I really like him." 507 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,600 But they hadn't really known each other that long. 508 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,000 You know somebody for four weeks, 509 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,760 and now, he just out of the blue says, "You know what? 510 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,920 I've known you for four weeks. You seem like a great gal. 511 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,280 I don't want to live anymore. Would you mind killing me?" 512 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,360 Doesn't... No way. It did not happen like that. 513 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:32,600 He was talking about his ex a lot, Kate, who's a mutual friend of ours, 514 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,200 and that seemed to really piss her off. They were together for years, 515 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,640 and had something really strong, even though they spent time apart. 516 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,720 That's kind of what he was saying, that he missed Kate. 517 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,560 You know? It was apparent. He kept talking about her. 518 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,480 And, uh, Lindsay seemed pretty annoyed with that. 519 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,760 Why do you think Robby was with this Lindsay girl? 520 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:54,640 Um... 521 00:36:54,720 --> 00:36:57,360 I don't know. She had a vehicle. It's a ride. 522 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,520 They were talking about going up to the northeast. 523 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,600 I know that's the area Kate was in, too. 524 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:06,440 Maybe he kind of had ulterior motives, and maybe she was figuring that out. 525 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,560 That jealousy deep inside her, knowing that... 526 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,120 she loved Robby way more than Robby loved her, 527 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,600 if he even did at all. 528 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,160 And he was using her to get back to the love of his life, Kate. 529 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:24,120 I think that was kind of fuel on a fire. 530 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:28,040 And it was a perfect storm up there in the Walmart parking lot 531 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:29,480 in Billings, Montana. 532 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,200 When others would say to me, 533 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,880 "I would never be able to forgive someone who killed my child," 534 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:25,440 I felt they were saying it like I was betraying him. 535 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,280 And I do understand, uh, people who have 536 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:35,520 a hard time forgiving or even those who haven't forgiven Lindsay. 537 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,840 We are confident as we could be about anything in life 538 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,120 that what Robby would want us to do 539 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:44,800 is to forgive Lindsay. 540 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,320 You know, I know there are some who doubt whether Lindsay 541 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,120 is being totally honest, 542 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:55,080 and I don't have any problem accepting Lindsay's story. 543 00:38:55,160 --> 00:39:01,000 The bottom line is, let's say that it was premeditated with malice and so forth. 544 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,240 I still believe our place is to forgive her. 545 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,520 She should have taken him to a hospital, 546 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,800 and he should have gotten the help he needed. 547 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:19,120 I know it. Gene knows it. She knows it. 548 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,720 She's expressed that to us. 549 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,640 But I don't make any excuses for what she did. 550 00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:24,760 I just know 551 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,280 that redemption is real. 552 00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:35,200 We believe that who Lindsay is becoming, 553 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,160 the life that Lindsay is living 554 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,680 helps to give Robby's life purpose. 555 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:45,240 And in saying that, I guess you'd say helps to give Robby's death purpose. 556 00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:04,080 People hear the story, and they think that Dori is maybe damaging 557 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,960 her son's memory or disrespecting his memory 558 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,720 by being friends with me. 559 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,280 I understand where they're coming from. 560 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,160 I know it's a hard thing to grasp. 561 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,320 But I can't help think that Robby would have wanted it this way. 562 00:40:55,240 --> 00:41:00,960 I guess my relationship with Dori and Gene could be seen as beneficial to my parole, 563 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:05,040 but... that is not something that I'm concerned with. 564 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:08,040 Do I hope I get out someday? Yeah, absolutely. 565 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:12,800 But I believe that God has me here for a reason. 566 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,400 And if he... 567 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:19,120 wants me to stay here for all 60 years, then I'll stay here. 568 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,600 I don't know that Robby felt as strongly as I did 569 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,560 about me, as I felt about him. 570 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:39,400 I had barely met him. 571 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,680 We talked a lot, and we were very close, 572 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:46,360 but I didn't even know... 573 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,120 what his mom was like or that he had a stepdad. 574 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,600 When I first started hanging out with Robby, 575 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,520 he was talking about going to the beet harvest 576 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,000 and getting back with Kate. 577 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,120 And we met some of Robby's friends along the way in Missoula, 578 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,840 just a few days before his murder, 579 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,240 and they all spoke very fondly of Kate. 580 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,240 It was something that made me jealous. 581 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,520 It made me feel very hurt and very insignificant. 582 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,000 And, um... 583 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,040 it was something that Robby and I actually had a fight about. 584 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,560 And so, we did have that talk. We did have that fight. 585 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:26,720 It doesn't surprise me at all that people think he was still going to meet Kate, 586 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,400 because that was probably the last anyone heard of him. 587 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,640 But he expressed that he wanted to stay with me, 588 00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:34,760 and I believed him. 589 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,560 I still believe that he meant it. 590 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:45,920 So, just listen to it? 591 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,160 I buy how it happened. 592 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,040 I buy you guys were traveling. 593 00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:57,280 I don't buy that he was unhappy, and he begged you to take his life. 594 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,640 No, that's absolutely what happened. 595 00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:02,560 That's absolutely what happened. But yes, um... 596 00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:09,160 I just wanted to kill somebody with my bare hands, honestly. 597 00:43:09,240 --> 00:43:11,360 Well, that makes more sense to me. 598 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,120 I haven't heard that clip in a long time. I'm shocked by it. 599 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,440 Um, I'm embarrassed. 600 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:24,760 I'm ashamed. 601 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:30,080 And I'm sorry that my attitude was so flippant. 602 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:31,520 It's appalling. 603 00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,200 I said I just wanted to know what it felt like 604 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,760 to kill someone with my bare hands, because... 605 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,160 I was getting called a liar again. 606 00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:43,440 And in the relationship before Robby, 607 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:48,040 I was being called a liar all the time when I was being honest. 608 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:52,120 And I found that the easiest way 609 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,640 to stop being called a liar 610 00:43:55,480 --> 00:44:01,040 is to tell the person calling me a liar what it was that they wanted to hear. 611 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:06,760 For anyone who thinks that that was something that I had... 612 00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,360 looked for or planned for 613 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,360 or wanted to do... 614 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,280 I don't know that there's anything I can do to change your mind, 615 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,640 but it's not true. 616 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,240 I've never wanted to kill anybody. 617 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,640 Once you've killed somebody, you can't just feel normal. 618 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:41,880 I'm afraid to give somebody a hug. 619 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,920 You know, people look at my hands like... Are they dirty? 620 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:49,080 Is there something wrong with them? I kind of feel like they are sometimes. 621 00:44:55,920 --> 00:45:01,120 The only way, I think, that I can really show how sorry I am 622 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:04,800 is to live a different life 623 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,080 and be the best person I can be 624 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,960 for Robby and for all the people that I hurt by taking him. 625 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,800 If I can make a difference, if I can do something good with my life, 626 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,720 it's like Robby's living on through me, like Robby's life still has meaning. 627 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:20,880 That might... 628 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,080 never be enough, but it's all I can give. 629 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,960 And that's what I intend to do, and that's what I do every day.